COMPETITION IN THE MENTAL HEALTH COMMUNITY

[@tessward2221]

"what reality are you in where having a serious suicide attempt makes you superior to someone else" THIS

[@jessqinn7702]

Tess Ward very right. Very right. I wonder if some of this thinking is wrapped up in the way the mental health care treats things. Trigger warning: ⚠️ I have psychiatrists say to me that because I didn’t end up in intensive care, that my attempts weren’t that serious. And the way our system is set up (in Australia) unless you are in crisis, and literally about to hurt yourself or someone else, then your access to help is often weeks or months of waiting. So it’s sometimes a message from the health system, that unless it’s “this bad”, then it doesn’t count? But I love what Marie is saying here. There should be sooooooooooo much more encouragement for those times someone does fight back. All those moments that go unnoticed. Don’t get attention. It definitely shouldn’t be a competition. And like the picture that goes round of two dogs standing in mud: where the big dog only has mud on his paws, but the little dog has mud up to his tummy. The same mud puddle effects different people differently. But both dogs are still covered in mud. And big still deserve a nice bath and a good towel dry and a lay in front of the fire or in the sun till they’re clean and dry again. Gosh, hope that random analogy made sense.....

[@annielow8716]

Yea so true I live in Australia and my best friend actually one week before me she told the school then a week told the school about my selfharming and she went to hospital she thinks that I. Am worse than her but I didn't at the time and school just bacicly shoved me in the corner and ended up for a few days feeling confused because I thought I was gonna get help even though I wasn't ready my friend wanted me to because she was worried about me lately for the last 2 years I have gone back down that road but I have been through it before all I can say for others is your gonna have your good and bad days no matter what might be on the bad side like me but if you find a good friend who is in the same situation and you can feed really positive thoughts from each other btw I love your videos Marie it has kept me going for a long time

[@saggguy7]

Ive always found myself searching for a more “serious” diagnosis. Not that i wished I would develop more serious symptoms, just that I feel like I’m constantly looking for a different diagnosis to label what I already feel. It feels like anxiety and depression are so downplayed because they’re common. So it feels like when I say that I have anxiety and depression it doesn’t really communicate the severity of my symptoms because people are like “yeah everyone has that”. but like anxiety and depression literally kill people? There is no need for it to be more serious than that

[@heartbreakerink8696]

I do this as well! I thought I was the only one. Like I feel like I can’t validate that I’m actually struggling unless I have a more uncommon or ‘serious’ diagnosis otherwise people won’t believe me.

[@angrycactus158]

I agree! So many people have depression and anxiety to some degree, and it doesn’t get taken as seriously anymore. Especially when people will fake it for attention. It sucks that we have to push for a diagnosis that will get us help.

[@tinksmith4964]

I often think “my scars aren’t as big as his/hers” or “I’ve never once been to hospital or a&e” and thought nobody must care about me because everyone knows I’m sick...

[@lilygrace3422]

I think it’s because there is a certain ‘criteria’ to be able to get help or be diagnosed. And it is almost a privilege to be admitted into hospital because they’re getting the specialist help they need when others, with very similar ‘problems’ are at home on a waiting list.

[@veganfitmumma2364]

Spot on My daughter is always being fobbed off because she doesn't seem ill enough and a doctor even said and I quote "come back when she's worse" Don't understand why they want her to be worse when they could help her now rather than when it gets serious

[@hjc9114]

I think society creates this situation of needing to prove you're ill enough. I remember the first time I self harmed and the teacher found out and I had to show my friend. My friend said 'Is that it?' and every time I self harmed after that it got worse and worse because it never felt enough. I must admit, I do compare myself to you, and I do feel inferior. I've never been admitted to a mh ward, never had stitches etc. It's really hard, because where do you draw the line? I always look at your scars and think they're more valid than mine. But the reason I think that is because of invalidation I've faced from other people. You have also made SO many videos which have validated my emotions and made me feel not alone. You've definitely validated me more than anything. I personally don't think you should take down videos unless they make you feel uncomfortable. I know from personal experience that invalidation can be found anywhere, if you are seeking it out. I have felt invalidated by mental health support websites, when they list symptoms and I don't tick every single box. You can't solve this problem alone, it's all part of the societal change that needs to happen. I think you are doing great for even considering the issue and addressing it. Maybe if all your viewers who watch this can reflect on themselves, then that will be more powerful than you censoring yourself

[@creativelysound]

This is a really good comment. Thank you for creating it

[@finnmackee1494]

This is exactly the comment I wanted to write. I feel the same way so thank you for working it so perfectly

[@hjc9114]

Thank you both for hearing me :)

[@erindriscoll8957]

Yes! I feel the same way but I think it will always be that way with anything and invalidation but your videos have also helped me in so many other ways so weather you decide to keep ur videos up or take some down it’s ur choice and I’m fine either way!

[@Rebelwithacause94]

I feel the same way! My cuts never feel deep enough. But I found when I finally did a deep on I got into some serious trouble and had to go to the hospital to get it fixed. The point is that it’s not worth it and you only end up doing more damage to yourself. Stay safe x

[@tiasimmonds6417]

Hey Marie, would you consider doing a video about maintaining personal hygiene/ hygiene hacks for when you’re depressed? 💛

[@domy6827]

thiss

[@demi8177]

that'd be good

[@laurawood8436]

heyyy im 128 days self harm free!!! which is the longest time ever 🥺

[@alexdonnelly4162]

Congrats. That's amazing ❤️❤️❤️

[@Ap-wv9zp]

Omg I’m so so proud of u! Keep going ur doing amazing 🥺

[@skeletonkitty1158]

Congratulations! You got this girl, that's an amazing accomplishment and you should be proud and treat yourself! Give yourself a big hug, and lots of love and courage to you from Canada! 🖤

[@laurawood8436]

Alex Donnelly thank you!!💗

[@laurawood8436]

A p :)))🥺💗

[@chloeeaston8206]

I used to self harm everyday so whenever I went a day or few days without harming myself people just thought I was magically better and I hated this because I need help. I felt I had to keep self harming just to prove I needed help, which when I look back now that is completely mad! I’m 2 weeks self harm clean and getting support. Thanks for the vid Marie

[@marieroseeee]

i completely understand what you mean!! thankyou for sharing 💖 and so proud of you for being that long clean!!! xxxx

[@emilydallas03]

I feel like this is so relevant especially to high functioning people feeling invalid which I get sm, also I don’t think you should feel as if you have to take any videos down but if it bothers you to keep them up then by all means remove them, it’s your channel at the end of the day so you’ve gotta be the one that’s comfortable with what’s on it! sending lots of love xxxx

[@marieroseeee]

sending so much love!!! thankyou for this comment 💖

[@megw9509]

I think you should keep all your videos up. It's a part of your journey and should be so proud of how far you have come. I personally find all your videos helpful in the sense that they make me feel not alone and that I'm not the only one who feels that way. You are an inspiration to so many people and are living proof that where there is life, there is hope Xxx

[@Echo-yk1id]

Sad af, but in one of the worst periods of illness of my life, I remember being so relieved to be admitted ""finally"" because people, including professionals, had always talked about how high functioning I was, and I really didn't feel seen in the same way as those less functional. It's not just the mh community, it's also sadly some professionals perpetuating it inadvertently too by feeling pressured to only admit people with x, y, z behaviors because of resourcing, so people who genuinely need a higher level of support don't get it. With regards to your vids, I think it's very insightful of you to acknowledge how you may have contributed to competition, but I don't think you need to take it down. I think it's worthwhile to maybe record a brief 'please don't see this story as a guideline for being ill' and attach it to the video. Or mayb record a 'calling myself out' video where you point out what you would leave out now as an example to others. Or maybe do take it down, and record a less detailed version, because I do think it helps those who are unaware, and helps those who want to relate. A few options, but ultimately your choice :)

[@kaykazoo]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, I feel like I’m competing against myself or something. Thanks for making this video Marie

[@saminaahmed532]

i aspire to be as happy as marie when she heard amy way getting her sirius’ wand aww🥺💖

[@mariekfionaskapricericot7276]

I'm ngl watching ur mh story it did help me. But I also found myself using ur video to make myself feel worst when I was already in a bad place.

[@smd7448]

Such an important message Marie ❤️❤️ Edit: I'm currently 3 months clean from self harm. If you're struggling, please get help and stay strong 💪❤️

[@Ap-wv9zp]

Yesss well done! Ur doing so good keep it up ❤️

[@laurawood8436]

you got thisssss!!💗

[@marieroseeee]

YOURE AMAZING

[@enigmagermanotta5291]

When I used to watch your videos I felt like my self harm was “pathetic” compared to yours so I couldn’t be that Ill if I haven’t self harmed like you. But then I realized what I was doing and while in hospital I reflected on what I had been doing and knowing everyone has their own stories like someone can have no self harm scars and still be as Ill as me. Thank you for your videos I think it might be a good idea to take the videos down for people who were like me ❤️

[@marieroseeee]

im so sorry I ever made you feel this way, thankyou for telling me. Its something I will be a lot more careful about in the future, sending love xxx

[@ciaragray8590]

Marie, don’t remove any of your videos as they are part of your journey and show how far you’ve come. You’ve helped so many people, including myself. Your channel is a place of acceptance which I’m so glad I discovered 18 months ago 🙂

[@Ella-cg8he]

"If you are not part of the mental health community, then this is going to seem absolutely barbaric to you." Yes, and that's what it is. I`m getting better at it, but I'm constantly struggling with the thought of not being ill enough, because my depression is high-functioning and I've learned to live with my social anxiety through years because I had to, even though both my psychiatric nurse and a psychiatrists said my score is so high that most people would be "paralysed" by that. Because "I can`t be ill enough and I must be faking because I can get out of bed and do things and got a college degree". I`ve also experienced that attitude with mental health professionals, when I was told by a psychologist that my symptoms clearly point towards moderate depression but it`s probably not that because I (thank god) have never been suicidal. I was very lucky to know better and in a good enough place to understand you don't have to be suicidal to have depression. I can only imagine what a comment like that from a professional would do to someone. It took me years to seek help again after that, and it had taken me years and a recommendation from a supportive teacher to do that even then. I still constantly struggle with those thoughts. The "funny" thing is, I know that's stupid and unnecessary but I still can`t get rid of the thoughts and they are very real while I also recognise they're stupid. That probably sounds ridiculous. It kind of is.

[@alexakelley1662]

Okay so I am very grateful for the apology. I’ll be quite honest, I don’t watch your videos very often anymore because I do find them to be triggering to me personally. When I’m in a bad place, they’re helpful, but when I’m in a good place, they’re not and are reminders of the bad. So that’s just my personal thing. I know not everyone is like this and I am in no way attacking you, just stating how it is for me personally. I also want to say in past videos, talk of self harm, even just about scars, stitches, etc, was extremely triggering for me and as sick as this is, I would use it to intentionally trigger myself, or trigger myself further in order to do those things. That is something I’m not proud of but I thought it should be known that it can be extremely triggering and maybe some of it should be taken down. Again, not blaming anyone for my actions, I sought out the content knowing what it would do, but it just existing is questionable because I know others will probably use it for the same reason I did. Just my two cents! Please continue making content, this comment is in no way meant to be taken as an attack, just constructive criticism from my personal perspective as requested. Keep up the good work and self growth!

[@anjalis8709]

I want to recover but I need support and when I've been to the doctor and MH services they keep saying to come back when I'm worse as I'm not bad enough yet. I am not at a low enough weight to access help. This is what fuels the competition in me and it's so hard to motivate myself to recover when people don't believe that I'm ill in the first place. You don't need to take down your videos as they show your growth and development and you have put trigger warnings so whether people watch beyond the trigger warning is their choice xx

[@eeedeee6667]

your pain is still valid even if you are not deemed 'sick enough' by doctors or professionals. your story of recovery will still be incredible even without a diagnosis or hospitilisation. im so sorry you have been through so much and you arent getting the support you deserve. if you can get yourself out of your path of self destruction now you will reduce the chances of your illness becoming incurable, and you will be able to live a life full of adventure and create amazing memories. dont wait around for someone to tell you what is 'wrong' with you. i did that and ended up feeling just as hurt by the world but now with a label on a computer system. its so horrible that people need to be on their death beds before they get help. surely preventing that from ever happening should be the insentive of the MH services! good luck with everything! xx

[@andreamanca7079]

That's the NHS for you...(not trolling)

[@MariaTherezaSchilling]

I must admit that when i started watching you 2 years ago i would look to your scars and feel so invalidated, like “my sh looks just like scratches, i'm not ill like her” and would feel worse, like i needed to take my sh more deeply. Fortunately i'm good, my sh never got me scars (just some little ones), i guess my skin is strong hahaha and that doesn't mean that i did not suffer. Thank you for the video! And don’t delete your videos, you shouldn't be ashamed of the past.

[@holly712]

Same I don’t scar easily on my skin it’s all mental scarring for me. I have a few tiny scars like you but it’s hard to get past the stage where you feel invalid because your scars are gone and you feel like you need to do more. Your comment is so relateable stg

[@juliapletcher3262]

I am the type of person who will usually feel more inclined to "compete" (I hate that about myself), but I've never felt that from you, and I've never felt invalidated or triggered by any of your videos. I think they are a part of your journey to who you are today and I don't think there is any need to take them down. Everyone has different struggles they go through and I think it takes a certain level of maturity to understand that someone else's struggles and journey doesn't take away from another person's and I don't think the videos are an issue. I think your videos have helped a lot of people, including myself feel less alone which is one of the best feelings when most people around don't seem to understand or relate 💖

[@ameliahearn4617]

there is so much competition on mental health, even for those who arent mentally ill. Society has taught people that you have to have something to show to be deemed “ill enough”. So many teachers, parents, doctors etc dont truly understand how much a person is going through just because they cant see it, so many people dont get the help they need. support from friends/peers is rare too because everyone is too busy trying to prove themselves or compete with each other who has the most “problems” to be truly able to help each other

[@martyna1961]

Marie, I am so happy you mentioned the fact that you made mistakes. I know I DEFINITELY did.. I was dragged into that many times. I'm just happy that everyone makes mistakes and gets affected by it. I'm glad to know I'm not a bad person and I can do better. I think how you talked about your last suicide attempt could feed into that. I love you to pieces, but I know that I definitely saw it as "I'm not ill enough/I don't need help because she was in a coma and I wasn't" I hope I'm not being mean. I understand how you wanted to prove a point and share a story but suicide attempts are ALL extremely serious and valid. Someone could view that as their attempts are not being "bad enough". I hope this didn't upset you, I'm trying to look at my mistakes and see if I shared things I shouldn't have. Keep all videos if you want to just for the future be careful how you talk about it, that's all. Thank you for making this video. It made me think and reflect. And that quote at the beginning about only being ill enough until you're dead is definitely going in my gratitude journal which I finally started! Yay! It made me realise that I am ill enough and so is everyone else. No matter if you've been struggling for a week or 2 years. No matter if you self harm to the point you need stitches or not. Everyone is ill and valid. Love you sm 💗

[@charliew3130]

I needed this❤ i feel like i have lost my mind and i hide it everyday, but as the days are going on right now i feel like i cant hide it anymore... im either snappy or crying. I dont feel normal, i dont understand how others live and are happy. After a small overdose i felt ashamed and embarrassed that it wasnt a big overdose. I feel like no one cared because it wasnt 'that bad'... its like i feel no one is really understanding how badly i dont want to be here anymore. I feel like there selfish for asking me to stay eachday in pain.

[@jasminepickering4827]

I feel that a lot of the competitiveness comes from how mental health services and how you have to be a certain level of ill to get help. Eg, when it comes to eating disorders, majority of the time people can only get help when they’re underweight and aren’t deemed “ill enough” until you’re underweight. I never really felt the competitiveness until I was told that my self harm/attempts/illness in general wasn’t severe enough to get help which lead to me trying to prove that I was ill and needed help.

[@abigailchappell5754]

This is interesting because competition is really big in the eating disorder community. People are trying to be the thinnest, the sickest, have the most admissions, etc. All sorts of bragging about their eating disorder .... I hadn't realized it was more widespread than just the ED community. It's hard because sometimes we just need to feel valid..... but that doesn't mean we need to compare ourselves to others or to "prove" anything.

[@lucyhannah8667]

This video is honestly amazing. I recently left the community and abandoned my recovery account because of the competition I witnessed on a daily basis. The number of times I've had people make me feel invalid due to the competition is insane. It just stopped me from moving forward. I'm a firm believer in taking responsibility for your actions no matter how ill you are. Love this video so so much Marie xx

[@alexdowding6870]

Not at all Marie. You have helped me through my mental health journey. Sharing the pain and rollercoaster of this shit illness. You are an inspiration. Xx

[@elodiealter9415]

This has come at such the right time . This is something I really struggle with and this video has given me so much reassurance. Thankyou so much

[@neutrallynonsensical3477]

Love you Marie. Please please don’t beat yourself up about anything, you’ve helped so so many people ❤️ a great video btw x

[@shiznitz2720]

God 10 seconds into the video and you putting the quote “stop punishing yourself you didn’t do anything wrong” helped me a fuck tonne, thank you so much Marie😊 EDIT: I also just reached 30 days/month clean😁

[@marieroseeee]

so proud of you ✌🏻🧡

[@shiznitz2720]

marieroseeee thank you❤️

[@gwenny9879]

This video motivated me so much!! I am in that state "oh, i'm not ill enough to recover" or "I've not been commited to psych ward so i should not recover yet". Those aren't concious thoughts it's just the "but" when I have a good day or when i'm fighting against urges. After watching this (most of your videos) i want to do better and i want to be healthy again!

[@jadesmith6626]

My friend has just started self harming and it’s making me want to relapse I guess that’s part of the competition 😕 but don’t worry guys I’ve been staying strong !

[@eeedeee6667]

i think i'm going through a similar phase to you Marie. i'm distancing myself from the idea of being 'mentally ill' and just accepting that every person has struggles that land on a sliding scale. i'm moving away from my bpd diagnosis and learning about attachments, complex trauma etc. i'm so glad you are viewing mental health this way now too as you have such a huge influence on a younger audience and i think you could help shift peoples feeling surrounding the topic. Thank you

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Babe, if you arent happy with your videos, you have every right to take them down. I respect you so much.

[@Amber-iq3jp]

i think you should keep the videos because they show you’re development as a creator & as a person, i love you so much marie, you don’t need to feel guilty about anything to do with your channel, you’re videos have helped so many people, you’re a hero❤️❤️

[@lanesraverity1344]

I’m covered in goosebumps. this is incredible. you are incredible. you are saving lives! congratulations for coming this far👏🏻 keep going Marie!

[@ftwrblue]

please don't feel as though you need to take your videos down, I know it's not who you are now but it shows how far you have come as a person and for me, and probably many people, gives us hope that change can happen. you sharing your experiences made me feel like I had a friend and that I wasn't alone anymore and I can't thank you enough for that. but obviously if you feel uncomfortable with them you do you sweet, you gotta be happy! completely agree that successes need to be highlighted instead, this happens so rarely and should be the most celebrated achievement!!!!!!! I have a degree... yeah that's amazing but I haven't self-harmed for a year and have kicked anorexia's arse - that is also absolutely amazing. so many more people need this mind set xxx

[@JN.S.M]

I honestly don't think you should delete any of your old videos. A person struggling might not have the same perspective you have now. I think having them stumble upon your old content like mental health stories and then being guided towards your more recent videos would be much more helpful. I think that witnessing how your thought processes have evolved throughout your videos gives people hope that things do get better and outgrowing places that no longer fit is okay.

[@emilyyorke8709]

Thankyou so much for this. I am relatively high functioning when it comes to my mental illnesses, for me this doesn’t mean my symptoms are less/more severe it just means I cope in different ways. I find it helpful to go to school ect....but I somtimes feel that because I’m still in school, or not in hospital it means I’m not taken seriously or ‘ill enough’. I’m just realising that everyone’s experience is incomparable, as everyone copes differently and everyone’s brain is different!!

[@joeym2723]

This video hit home for me. Back when I was a freshman in high school is when my depression started and that’s also when I started self harming, I met a girl who was going through something similar, we became good friends and long story short she committed and I felt like my depression wasn’t bad enough and I was just being a wimp so I went through this really bad self harm stage for a couple months to kind of validate my Illness. I battled SH until I graduated high school and now 3 years clean later I HATE looking at my butchered arms, I feel ashamed of what I’ve done, can’t really enjoy walking around outside in a T-shirt anymore, planning on getting an arm sleeve tattoo to cover it up. Can’t change the past, it is what it is, and to anymore still struggling with SH it’s not worth it, it’s really not, stay strong everyone ❤️

[@_maia_m]

It's a tricky dilemma, cause on the one side it's important to be aware of how we talk about these things in a safe way, and on the other side it's equally important to not mute out voices that desperately need to be heard. Cause in general, our society needs more awareness around mental illness and the very real and very serious consequences of it, not less. That's why I think you're doing such a wonderful job. And yes, maybe you've made mistakes, like we all do, but it's so much better to make mistakes than to not speak at all because we're afraid to make mistakes. And remember that part of that competition is actively seeking out things that will invalidate and trigger you. When I was younger (I'm in my mid-thirties now) I did more than my fair share of that, googling all sorts of really unhealthy things. And that was _my_ choice, and _my_ responibility. Nobody elses, and it's part of my recovery process to take that responibility. There are series and films and documentaries and KZbin videos out there that I can't watch because they are triggering to me (and now I do take that responibility), but that I'm so thankful that exist, because people whom it's not directly affecting need to understand it, so that things can change. You, Marie, is part of that change, and you should be really proud of that. Keep being brave and keep using your voice. You've made so many great videos in the past, and this one is yet another great video. You're so considerate and wise, warm, funny and sweet, and I love your videos. Love, Maria

[@AveryTomlinson]

I have only ever confided in two people about my self harm but if I ever talk about it or just my feelings in general I feel soooo idiotic. looking back on every conversation I’ve had about my mental health just gives me that “ick” feeling and I just ughhh feel so stupid?? it’s never a weight lifted off my chest, if anything it’s another worry added to my anxiety... I’ve had a therapist once before when I was in high school and I still never felt comfortable sharing with her. Anywayyyy I feel dumb for writing this comment lol but I admire that you are so unapologetically open about your mental health :)

[@neurodivergentdawn]

This video is really important. Please don’t take the videos down. Competition has really affected me - including from you, Pip etc. I am high functioning but I have felt like my pain is not valid, by society and professionals. I have needed more help over the years to be fair and my mental health has got worse through not having the right help. However, I have felt I was not worth having help because I compare myself to others and don’t feel things are as bad as other people have it. So naturally things have got worse as a result. Even after serious self harm I struggle to take my mental health seriously because I have never been inpatient. Taking my mental health more seriously and feeling valid is important for me to recover. I am so glad you made this video.

[@samanthablackwell3911]

this is such a difficult issue to address bc i know how easy it is to be perceived as insensitive or invaliding so thank you for initiating this conversation despite that difficulty! you’re promoting a positive change in the MH community & doing it beautifully ✨ sidenote: your mental health journey was extremely helpful for me as i have recently been diagnosed with BPD & being reminded that i am not alone/things will get better has always been a key point in my recoveries. i would love to see a video focused solely on your experience with BPD 🖤

[@aysheaeastwood563]

Honestly think its so great that you continue to raise awareness for BPD , i think as society goes on the awareness for things like bpd . Bi polar etc. Will be greater and people wont be afraid to talk about it . Keep going :)

[@jmilligan3050]

I have watched your channel for a long time now and started watching them at a younger age and to be honest you, your videos have helped me feel less alone. They have taught me so much and are always so inspiring, funny and educational. ❤️❤️I do understand that you may want to take older videos down but it also depends on the type of person watching them and their brains. It could affect them negatively or it could affect them positively but it depends on the person. I love you and I'm proud of you and it's completely up to you and only you can make that decision because it is your channel.

[@marieroseeee]

Thankyou so so much xxxx

[@evecoates3261]

This post spoke to me, when I started my recovery account it made me feel sick seeing the posts and trends that I found from people who were clearly very ill. I vowed that I’d make sure my account is a safe space for anyone. Regardless I still don’t think you should delete your own videos because if people are like me it’s nice seeing you grow and blossom and your old and new videos show that🥰also where is your top from you look gorg? Xx

[@marieroseeee]

I think you're so smart and aware, that is such an important attitude to have! and my top is asos xxxx

[@annabelleannabelle8904]

To be completely honest. When I was ill , the words ‘trigger warning’ would only make me want to watch the video more. I wasn’t in a state of mind where I knew that it would be bad for me. I love your videos so much but I do agree with what you said . Just complete honestly from someone who was in a bad place at the time xx

[@annabelleannabelle8904]

I’m sorry I feel like this comment has come across wrong . I truly thing that those videos were a part of your coping mechanism. Which is great but if you truly want to make a different in a positive way I do think it would be a good idea to recognise that and portray it in the way you have been recently because I think it is so much more effective . No hate - obviously you do what you feel is right and I love your channel no matter what but you have hit the nail on the head with this video xx

[@Rebelwithacause94]

I must admit I found myself comparing my scars to yours and thinking I’m not a good enough self harmer. It’s a constant comparance I find myself making which is actually normal for an addiction. I have felt I’m not sick enough to be taken seriously in my country with the mental health team that it has. When I struggled with suicide I felt like I needed to be in hospital but I wasn’t sick enough to be in there. That’s my issue. But I also think you are fine. I love watching your videos and find you an utter inspiration to look up to

[@ZtinaDuchezze]

To be completely honest, I have been comparing myself to you, however I compare myself to a lot of people. I often feel that my mental health struggles are invalid since I have no self harm scars, I have not attempted suicide, I have not been admitted to hospital, I am overweight instead of underweight etc. However, this video felt really empowering and it really deserves more views since the topic is really important. I have been watching pretty much all your videos over a period of time (that's why I'm commenting three months "late" lol) and I think the older videos are there to show how far you have come so I just think it is inspiring!

[@Chris-gq8ev]

Marie, your videos help. It's nice of you to bring up the issue that some people compare and invalidate their mental health issues, but you can't control for all possible reactions. The videos are honest and your intentions weren't malicious.

[@user-bj9ci3uy9s]

i love your old videos, i dont think u need to delete them, they really helped me feel less alone during a really hard time in my life

[@kaitomomotaluminaryofthest8258]

with the videos I think leave them up because I think they are helpful. with the old mental health story p1 I found it helpful to see someone who was struggling similar to me and made me feel less alone but also not on purpose tripped my brain into thinking that I'm not enough. I have learned so much since then and I don't let my brain go there anymore bc it's toxic to think about. it's not up to me personally but I hope it helps you make a descion.

[@carrieannesweeney7788]

I really appreciate this video, you've literally put my thoughts into words. I've always been in the mindset that I have to get worse to receive help. I've always felt invalidated by others which is definitely not any ones fault however that's just how my brain works. I always feel that whatever destructive coping mechanism I'm using that I could be doing it worse. When I've taken attempts I've always felt that they have never been bad enough. I feel like the professionals really don't help with it in ways like when u end up in a&e they just send you home and say that your not Ill enough. I don't know if this made sense but I just wanted to add my input ♥️

[@melissaalexandra4388]

This video is so relevant right now, unless you want to Marie, I love your channel and don't think you should take down any video's (as I say unless you want to) you are such a genuine young lady, even though I have never met you or anything only watch your video's and follow you on social's I already know how sweet, caring and lovely you are. Your video's have definitely helped me and probably hundreds more, you explain things so well, and literally I swear to God, you talk about things I have thought about for ages and never discussed with others because I felt almost 'wrong' for thinking certain things, like your video you did a little while ago about "what If you don't want to get better". Like I swear you talk about everything I want to find out more about if that makes sense. Lots of love xoxo (PS: Also within a few minutes of watching this Pip's voice came into my head saying "you do you boo") haha. Love you both! xoxo

[@bmxogreen961]

6:39 , honestly Marie I’ve watched you for years I do not think you personally need to take a video down or apologise, because I’ve never thought once you were intentionally trying to invalidate people, you put a tw you did personally help me feel less alone but my opinion is going to be different to others . I completely relate in my friend group I’m a high risk patient and sometimes I feel like I’m invalidating some of my close friends by the amount I see and receive appointments and diagnoses ect and do feel the same where I thought I was being unhelpful or invalidating . My honest opinion you were sharing your story you’ve tw it you’ve been so helpful so please don’t apologise my love you thought it was the right thing mental health competition is a thing , and they’re going to be people with different opinions so I hope this helped stay safe in these times hope you’re doing well

[@sarawatkins1086]

Absolutely love this video Marie. I’m glad you made a video about this. Looking back I can really see the unhealthy competition within mental health and it is so so sad. I’m 31 now and when I look back to my 20s I think much of my bad behaviour were things I did because I had a diagnosis and I thought in order to prove I had it I had to do everything it told me. I really think we need to talk about this more, because I believe it makes people more ill. well done on taking responsibility for where you might have done this in the past. It takes strength to do that and it’s not an easy thing to say. I think I also contributed to the problem when I was younger. Absolutely we should be celebrating our accomplishes more. Love you Marie keep going you truly are an inspiration. I’ve decided to start my own KZbin Chanel on my experiences and hope you’ll watch me too 🥰 xxxx

[@mariaalejandragomez6261]

I really don't think you should delete your videos, i personally love your mental health story ones... you show how low you were but also how you pulled trough from that. I do think that the thing that stands out the most is how you have recovered from it, it shows a life after those struggles. I really love your videos, don't think you should private any of them. ❤

[@Ellie-hx5rj]

Thank you for this video ❤️ the mental health community on social media can be really helpful but as you are saying, also extremely toxic. People seem to have a massive issue about superiority in their illness and it's so awful to watch others feel invalidated as a result. Personally I think your "mental health story" videos were really helpful and it's one of the first videos I watched by you 💕

[@dancingpear0808]

I remember on your last video on being ill enough I commented about how I didn't feel I was ill enough until I was dead. I'm doing so much better now, kind of crazy. Thanks for another great video. Feeling ills fucking stupid, no thanks, I will fight back. Also this video made me think of a painting I did and had me edit the caption to discourage comparison, because sh was implied, and to valid more. I should always be careful and make sure that nothing I put out into the world could make anyone feel invalid indirectly. The implied sh in the painting being a bit much, probably had to do a bit with validating myself so I clarified that it never looked like what was implied and the art isn't grounded in reality, etc. Anyways thank you. For the taking down videos thing, a lot of your videos have helped me a lot but I think you should do what you think is right for taking down videos. Your videos are helpful. A lot of positive things you have said have stuck with me. I think something a bit triggering when I wasn't feeling well had to do with stitches since I don't believe I ever did anything that would require it and began striving for it a bit, currently I just don't want any more scars tho.

[@hxpnxs]

Your video really really helped me. I used to watch them all the time, and they made me feel better, and got my urges down. These are just my own feelings. They felt like letting out all my emotions watching someone else talk about their struggles & experiences.

[@hayleytearall]

Thank you for being mature enough to post this. I've followed you for a while and it's actually so refreshing to see you becoming SO self aware and calling yourself and others out on what is really harmful and toxic ('normalised' when you're ill) behaviour and ways of thinking. This level of self-awareness, willingness to grow (and how much you've grown over the last couple of years already) and passion for sharing your wisdom with others will see you go far, stay free and help so many others. Great job. :)

[@heidibaltom8138]

You havnt made me feel invalidated in anyway. You have been through alot and i havnt been through half as much as you but that isnt the reason i "dont feel ill enough". The reason i feel this way is because whenever i tell doctors things they just shrug it off and say its normal to some extent or juat put it down to my normal depression when i know there is something more. To put this into perspective im nearly 40 i work a full time 40 hr job ive only had 2 x 3 weeks off sick in the past 6 years due to depression so on the surface it looks like im coping. I have only just started telling doctors how bad i really am as i have hidden it for over 20 years (its been extremely difficult to hide it but i did) and its people like you that have actually inspired me to come forward and try and get the real help i so desperately want. Sorry for long message i just wanted you to know its not your fault for me anyway

[@courklesrox123]

Marie, I have been watching your videos for years now and I’ve watched the videos you’re referencing in this video. I honestly found them very insightful and they made me feel less alone. But I totally relate to this and found myself obsessed with the concept of “am I sick enough” in general. I admire your strength and I’m proud of you for those 200+ days sh free. I just hit 7 months :-)

[@NeiltheNotSoBrave]

This has honestly never even crossed my mind. I just get a good vibe (I only see good intentions and you always seem very thoughtful and respectful and no bulldust ) from all videos I've watched of yours and I have probably only seen a small proportion. Just do you. Nothing wrong with checking and asking if in doubt though. I think it's normal , healthy even to question yourself and have doubts sometimes.

[@simplykatexo2504]

who else loves marie's videos but also in the wrong mindset finds them triggering and i understand that is completely my fault for watching it thank you so much marie i love you so much xx

[@rachele9407]

As someone diagnosed with BPD and an eating disorder, but still high-functioning, this topic really hits home to me. Before I started truly recovering from my ED I remember following Instagram accounts which shared BMIs, number of hospitalisations etc. all the time. Looking back, I think I shouldn't have done that, because I thought I didn't deserve help since there were people who obviously needed it more than me. At the same time I don't feel like easily blaming other people for being triggering, although people (ill or not) giving wrong medical advice without having any proper training or basically helping others to do harmful things on themselves... big yikes.

[@finnmackee1494]

I've been sucked into that competitiveness before and I'm embarrassed by those thoughts. I think because depression is more common that I wasnt ill enough for help, but there will never be an ill enough. I think you should keep whatever makes you comfortable on your channel, Marie. And thanks for sharing this, it's so fucking important. Love the idea of a recovery hashtag and cant wait to see people's victories! Much love 💙

[@littlemissmolly18]

I dont think you need to take them down because you have made this video your aloud to grow and I think that anyone who comes to watch you will then watch all your videos and they will see you grow and I think it will give people hope they can grow and improve them selves if that makes sense. But as always it should be what ever you feel is best 💞

[@emilyovereem9974]

this topic is SO SO SO important and i think about it all the time, so thank you for talking about it! i personally think if anyone shared their mental health story, there would be people watching who would think about it in a competitive way. the videos are targeted towards ill people, so they will most likely see it in an ill way and you shouldn't feel responsible or guilty for that. but obviously if someone is sharing things that are wayyy overstepping the line then that is super wrong. but you haven't done that. does that make sense lol? i don't think you should take the videos down, because i (and many others) do find them helpful. but if that would give you peace of mind go for it! it's your channel, you decide what to share and what not to share. love you so much & i hope this helped a lil - emily xoxo

[@em7385]

I definitely experienced this when I was at my ‘sickest’ 4 years ago! Thank you for talking about this Marie!

[@katemiklosovic7942]

personally, i found your mental health journey video extremely helpful. i've watched it a few times when i have been in a bad place because it really helps me remember that i am not alone. i found the video extremely helpful.

[@hopebashford2645]

I’m sorry but that conversation you had with albie was the cutest awwww 😂🥺 he’s so precious- bless him 🌍 And I definitely think we should do what you was speaking out at the end. Not sure how to word it but we could hashtag it something like #ifoughtback (if that’s the correct word for it) or something. Think it’s a splendid idea and such a positive thing to do ❤️ xx

[@marieroseeee]

LOVE THIS xxxx

[@faithmcevoy4218]

this video is definitely what the community needed at this moment, everyone is at least a little bit competitive, especially instagram. Its such a hard community but it’s definitely a community that has helped our (?) if that makes sense!! For your youtube posts! do whatever you feel comfortable with. I personally like your posts and love to watch them back whenever i can!

[@charlottefuller6448]

i have been a subscriber for a long time now and i love your videos. They have been very helpful in getting over my shame surrounding my mental health challenges and my self harm and scars. I will say that sometimes i would be triggered by seeing your scars because i would obviously compare myself and think i need to do it more. However it is my self sabotaging nature to look for things to trigger me. with all that being said i dont think you should take down any of your videos. Put the appropriate trigger warning when YOU FEEL is necessary and its up to people to limit themselves on what they can watch and they can handle. (and thats coming from someone who was in that position its tough love sometimes that works, if you cant handle it its your responsibility to click off until you are ready). It is not your responsibility to censor what your viewers are watching thats up to them. Post what you want to post and keep up wht videos you want to keep up, i think they are helpful and you should keep them up. much love xx

[@beabea6069]

Your videos are real ! And thats what i like about them, because its raw and shows all aspects of mental health but it shows the reality of mental health and they have helped me a lot , and ive learned a lot from them too.... most definitely think you should keep all of them. 🤗

[@sqwuishslay]

if im being quite honest, i’ve been subscribed for you for years now, you’re a huge inspiration in recovery. but i know for a fact i’ve used that video to push myself more into depression and sh and that type of stuff. i literally love your content, but the video you’ve spoken about in this video, i am definitely on the more “triggered” side to make myself get more “ill”. ilysm, and know that you’ve done so much more good than bad in my mental health journey❤️❤️

[@katy-ou8te]

i’ve had a recovery account for 2 years now and i’ve definitely noticed in that time that the people who share graphic details of attempts and behaviours are the people who get the most followers and likes and attention. i think people begin to associate attempts with attention when that happens and it’s so damaging. thank you for making this video ❤️

[@jessicascarlett4258]

thank you for this video marie! i personally have found your videos helpful, however i will agree some of the details portrayed in your mental health journey were a bit triggering and have kind of stuck with me for a while now. that’s not your fault though!; i think most of us in the mental health community are probably guilty of this and honestly i’m glad someone has finally spoken up about it! x

[@carlyedwards6971]

I find your videos very helpful I think I’ve watched 90% of them. I don’t think you should delete old videos, you can see the progress you’ve made and you’re maturing. That’s life.

[@Kai-co8pn]

I believe you shouldn’t videos take your videos down. They’ve helped me so much with my mental health and I’m sure they’ve helped many others!! You’re on a journey with mental health, just like the rest of us, and it’s very brave of you to record it and show people. Thank you for posting those videos 💗 if you choose to delete them, I understand why, I just wanted to give my opinion I guess lol

[@sarahhjenn]

Don’t beat yourself up! I will say it’s always good to introspect, but I think you’re wonderful and helpful! ❤️

[@rachelxx1260]

I'm glad you made this video! So important to spread awareness of this! I personally don't think you should remove the videos as they show your journey, and I know you like to show the real you, but at the end of the day you have to feel comfortable with what you put out there, if you're not comfortable with it then take them down, i don't want you to worry about them. I like that you want to repost other peoples successes! My mental health struggles aren't out there for people to see and I'm actually a bit scared to post, but I will enjoy looking at others achievements ❤

[@madiharris9241]

honestly, I have found every one of your videos helpful. although I’ve felt like I’m ‘not sick enough’ because I compared myself to you and your story, the videos still helped me feel less alone. even if you’d have left out a lot of it, I would still have been comparing myself to you and thinking the same things. everyone in the mental health community compares themselves to others constantly and they’ll even see pictures of scars and think ‘mine aren’t as bad and I don’t have as many so I’m not sick enough’, I still do this and I can’t help it. everything, no matter how small and insignificant, is something that will be compared. there isn’t much anyone can do about it so I don’t think you should take them down as they’re so helpful to a lot of people. love you ❤️❤️

[@jessrecoveryjourney]

i cannot stop watching this marie i’m insanely proud of you!!!!😭thank you so much for this you’re amazing!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@catherinebooth9810]

Thank you for making this video and for your honesty, it is wonderful to see. I have DID, PTSD and ASD and I am working hard in my recovery and trying to take responsibility for things I have done when I have been dissociated. It is not easy so big well done to you for having the courage to put it out there. I personally am ok with you leaving your videos up as they are your own videos and I find them helpful. But I have got to the point in my life where I own my triggers (I know it is not possible for everyone to do that) so it does not bother me even without trigger warnings which you always add. Lots of love 💜

[@TinselFairy]

I really think this video is a sign for me. I've been relapsing recently and have been actively looking for videos that are triggering which obviously just makes it worse. Thank you so much!

[@lazydays4me765]

All of your videos have helped me. Please keep being true to you because it does help me alot. There are all kinds of illness and levels. My mental illness is different then yours but I you say thing that really touch me. Don't take anything down and stay open. You want to make the video just make it and please don't take it back. You never know what video or even one line that will help people.

[@rejoiceamieghemen4638]

This whole video is truth, related to all of it.

[@ninaaishling7873]

thank you so much, ive been WAITING for a video like this! No ones done it yet!

[@conorkavanagh1427]

You've done nothing, but helped me xxx thank so much past, and new videos all have helped me x

[@DazBaldwin]

This is by far your best video, if not one of the best MH vids out there 💖. I’m totally guilty for the competition aspect and even though it’s madness to think about it objectively, when you’re in it, it’s a powerful enabling emotion that is really so toxic. I personally don’t think you should private past vids. They are a record of a time when you weren’t thinking as clear as you are now and I believe shouldn’t therefore be censored (albeit by you), as you’re now in a good place. People can always be offended or triggered by something and if you filter your content now and from the past to avoid this, you’ll have a very bland, non-real and unhelpful message. 100% keep being you, as this is why we are all here, all subscribed and all live your content. It’s a very emotive subject, but I honestly believe the only way to truly be of help to others is by being open and honest.

[@stephjackson9384]

this is so so true and brilliant but even harder when you can't get help until you fall into certain guidelines :/

[@shiznitz2720]

Don’t get me wrong some of ur old videos are triggering HOWEVER even though they’re a little bit triggering you do not understand how much they’ve helped me from being alone and felt like no one knew how I was feeling and so when im feeling really lonely and feel like I need to do something, I watch those videos and they help so much and so I’ll forever be grateful for you Marie😊

[@WatchMyHusbandCook]

This is such a hard topic and I think you have put it so well. This video is the greatest one that I have watched yet and truly means so much.

[@yelenarotar2307]

No marrie, the videos helped me. And I don’t believe we need to compare! There’s no need to compare

[@mariacegielka1218]

Marie don't delete your videos, someone always finds them helpful and do not feel like they're doing anything other than good xxx

[@patrycjalife7]

Honestly you helped me a lot with your videos and I can see your growth, that inspires me! I like your old videos because of that too, I can see a positive changes and I don't mean that you weren't that smart or helpful before because you were and now as you are getting older you also know more things and you can have a different approach to certain things which is normal. Keep going ❤️

[@marieroseeee]

thankyou so much for this comment xxxx