COMPLEX PTSD AND AUTISM: (HIGH MASKING SERIES)

[@muchamocha7]

Being autistic is definitely a strange mixture of being very intelligent and very naive. It's just kind of a purity of heart towards the world, and yes it leaves us vulnerable but I think it is also a good thing as long as we implement boundaries with how we interact with others.

[@merdershewrote371]

This is so insightful x I completely agree 🙏

[@Chinni_C888]

Spirituality says the sensitivity of autistic people is human evolution.

[@isabellaqueiroz4941]

Absolutely agree 🙏🌈💖

[@nnylasoR]

Amen!!!

[@winniewinkles]

That’s weird coz that’s how I feel as a person with cptsd and high sensitivity and thought I just froze at that innocent state or haven’t developed beyond it (in a good way, like who wants to be cynical or mean).

[@ahatx8651]

The 'naive or overly trusting' one was a punch in the gut for me - realizing in my late forties that I've put up with toxic, abusive behavior from very close friends, that I would NEVER tolerate from acquaintances, strangers or coworkers. For the longest time couldn't make sense of this. THANK YOU for the work you're doing!!!

[@carolinecichelly151]

Same ! 41 and just realizing all of this !

[@SadieHartMusic]

omg i'm 41 and got out of (another) abusive relationship almost two years ago and 1. i've been struggling with cptsd, but realized i'm asd 2. realized i've tolerated so much abuse and have been cutting everyone out. like BURNING it all down.

[@TheBlubunni]

I realised it in my early 50's 😢 even though it was later in life, I'm thankful that I now know what I know.

[@BobbyChipmunk]

I'm in my early twenties and very grateful for the people around me who have pointed out that behavior and raised my awareness of it

[@roadieric9472]

You're NOT alone ❤‍🩹

[@myriamzitouni3992]

Hi Kim, in ASD folks, special interests serve to provide a respite from the nt, it’s where autists feel safe and regulated. It’s much more than hobbies. Just a note, thanks for all your support.

[@ALG3228]

Agreed, and it is the deepness of the dive or the perseverative nature, not the subject. Many autistic folks (especially AFAB) have a special interest in psychology. Or TV shows like Friends or Buffy. YoSamdy Sam gives the example that lots of her NT friends liked the show Friends. But they didn't learn to code so that they could create a fan website.

[@vincentcaudo-engelmann9057]

I don’t think of it as a respite I think of it as “this is easy and natural” or rather “I’m pursuing what is truest to me”

[@floralaura5681]

Before I dove deep into autism, I was obsessed with the effect of menstrual cycles. I learned that premenstrual dysphoric "disorder" is incredibly more common in neurodiverse people, something like 90% experience it compared to 10% of the "typical" population. High sensitivity to hormonal changes, pain, feeling intense distress and dealing with a whole other level of hygiene. Puberty can be a big tipping point for physical, mental, and emotional challenges, the social atmosphere takes on a lot of nuance and subtext, and generally we are poorly educated around fertility and sex. Naivety becomes dangerous.

[@pinselpuma6772]

Gues that's why I have a "leave my hormones EXACTLY as they are" policy despite heavy mentrual pain and being transgender...

[@SideB1984]

I noticed hashimoto’s also comes up a lot with ASD+cPTSD+PMDD. I have the COMT gene too, impacts dopamine, estrogen, epinephrine. IUD saved my life.

[@cmkristi]

Wow. The world is starting to make so mutch more sence now! I have PMDD and CPTSD and suspekt AutHDHD... but if all these are linked somehow I'm not so unsure how one person can have all of them... thank you!

[@avettchick1566]

Yes, yes, yes, yes

[@DavidEdelsohn]

Thanks for the series. Thanks for mentioning that ASD can overlap with CPTSD -- not all parents / caregivers were understanding and supportive. A high-functioning pwASD child in a household with high-functioning Cluster B parents can be functional but still very traumatic and invalidating. An invalidating environment can add bad coping mechanisms to inherent ASD issues. Human beings rarely fit into simple diagnoses; there can be a lot of comorbidities. The correct treatment requires the correct diagnosis, but there often can be an overemphasis on choosing a single diagnosis. And clinicians can be biased to want to map symptoms into a diagnosis with which they are familiar. Embrace the concept of "AND".

[@cherylroberts5100]

Brilliantly said

[@aftonair]

So true! I agree 100%

[@terrahillman151]

“Feeling the safest when everyone is asleep…” 🙋🏻‍♀️ I’ve been looking for years for an understanding of this. I understood that I had this as a teen. But it got triggered and came back. I noticed that I had no anxiety from 9am -5pm. But after 5pm, when my ‘unsafe’ husband would come home anytime, my anxiety was super high. And I started working later and later into the wee hours of the morning so to avoid him still awake. And then saw I wasn’t even really doing any work-I could be watching movies or KZbin in my office but telling him I had to work. I found it strange at the time but after I went no contact it slowly became obvious why I unconsciously formed those habits. Now my struggle is getting my schedule reshifted back to ‘bankers hours.’ But u nailed it. Well done! Tysm!

[@northofyou33]

Ah, yes. I have always loved the world when everyone else is asleep.

[@shewho333]

I’ve always been this way too, but I thought it was because my abusers were asleep. But then I still did it when I was in a safe place for years. Now I’m in my 50’s, and I’m watching my older teenager (who does not want a diagnosis for her neurodivergence) do the same thing regarding sleep.

[@Daimo83]

One of my favourite things is to stay up all night and play video games. I don't do it anymore but time seems to stop completely in the early hours of the morning and it makes you feel free.

[@frostedsilver]

I am very much a night owl, but I think my sleep habits are more due to my sensory issues. Things are quieter, darker, and much less crowded at night, and so I really love being awake during those hours. Night to me means peacefulness.

[@northofyou33]

I definitely have both of these things, and am just discovering it at 71, after a lifetime of therapy, 12-step programs, self help seeking, isolating, social dynamic issues, immune system issues, naivete, insomnia, feeling safe at night, and just exhaustion over the whole thing. It's a miracle to find all this information in the last couple of years. Thank you. I just found your channel, and it's very helpful.

[@jojosbizzarefan2105]

I like your intros! You're great, and I really appreciate all you do here for us. You get me!

[@aftonair]

Thank you for this! I am an autistic person with cptsd. I've had several doctors insist that it's an either/or with these two diagnoses. Which has always seemed absurd to me. As though being autistic sheilds a person from abuse, or being abused somehow cures autism. Nonsense. Unfortunately, in reality, kids with autism do experience abuse. I'm a both/and. This roadblock to receiving appropriate diagnosis and care continues to confound me.

[@Crystalblue58]

Dr. Kim, yes, you are spot on! I have a diagnosis of PTSD and on SSD. I am turning 65 this year. I have always felt like a child in a grown body. I have questioned for a long time whether or not I also had ASD. Especially because of an IQ of 140 and lack of real connection with other people. I became an RN and had trouble on the socializing side with my patients but never on the technical side. Please keep going because you are ringing bells with me as being truth. I most definitely had a naieve (sp) outlook about being able to foresee the behavior of other people. I was always taken by surprise at their bad behaviors.

[@rosemarypetrilli582]

I can relate!

[@Chinni_C888]

Regarding the lack of empathy misconception: I used to be told by my toxic family that I am hateful and selfish because I didn't blindly and silently endure their abuse and control attempts. Then they ridiculed me for considering the feelings of animals, or people with a different background to us (religious, skin color, or social standing). Regardless, if they would be asked if I lack empathy, they would say 100% and present themselves as self-sacrificing martyrs.

[@Thomas_Winters]

My mom used to hate that I got along with the cats in the house. One day she asked me how I did it and I told her that I just hang out with them without being pushy and give them headbutts. She insists that I feed them when I’m in my room with them when I didn’t even have any.

[@amyhunter4309]

I struggle with this big time! I was the only one in my family who had more compassion and insight to dynamics that related to prejudice. Probably because I see the patterns of others and they’re so similar to mine that I just have this inherent and visceral understanding of maybe how they feel. The literal definition of putting yourself in another’s shoes.

[@roadieric9472]

You are NOT alone ❤‍🩹

[@elmapollard4238]

Remember females with AS are in many respects often polar opposite to the males, like having excessive empathy is often common. I was also diagnosed with CPTSD by a therapist who knows nothing about AS. I see the confusion. Also, often those on the spectrum come from families on the spectrum, like my mother who couldn't handle me being different at all, hence massive and chronic trauma. I suspect she was so focused on masking and 'fitting in' that she was obsessed with the idea that her kids should excell and make a good impression. Hence at home she was a real tyrant, but once visitors entered she fawned with honey dripping from her mouth. That used to be so freaky to me. Hence could never trust her again.

[@pamelasarris8262]

I agree, even though I am new to dealing with the AS population. My mother was the exact same way. My major trauma blow was when she allowed my stepdad to kick me out of the house at age twelve. I never trusted her again. She came to get me when dad questioned her about it. I told that I agree to the rules regarding curfew and my chores. Aside from that, I would self govern my life and for her and my stepdad to get out of my way. I did exactly that. She was so critical of me for everything. I wasn't allowed to have any opinions that didn't mimic her's. When guests came over, she was sappy sweet to them, and if the guests were adults, she would showcase her disciplinary control over us. She tried selling me that she would show her control and discipline over us, to show her guests that we were well behaved. I told her that no it didn't, because it made us seem more unruly.

[@alexadellastella5247]

Was she really autistic or narcissistic too??? Big question matk here since not only NTs can be narcissistic....

[@redmcclaff]

​@@pamelasarris8262theres 4 Traights to PTSD whish are FIGHT, FLIGHT, FREEZE OR PLEASE! read my comment at newest.

[@mekosmowski]

Is it a male-female thing like a strict dichotomy or is it more like a prevalence thing of different spectra of presentation? Like, is it that females and males autist differently, or is it that autism with a male social upbringing overlay tends to look different than autism with a female social upbringing overlay? I'm male, 49, was considered gifted kid. Aspberger's didn't exist as a diagnosis when I was school aged. There's very little, if any, research about middle-aged male autism. Will I benefit from learning about female autism? Why is autism diagnosis different? Why are MDD and GAD diagnoses handed out like candy but it's de facto impossible to get an adult evaluation due to lack of availability?

[@BillieGote]

​@@mekosmowskiYou're right, the dichotomy is oversimplified black & white thinking when it comes to autistic presentations. Rather than specifying male versus female autism, there's a movement towards renaming them as External versus Internal presentation of autism. This helps to include not only the people who present atypically from their gender, it also allows recognition of people who do not relate to their assigned gender at birth. This is especially important because of the high percentage of autistic population who identify as non-binary.

[@leoniemackenzie6605]

You have made so much difference to me by making sense of myself. My compassion to myself now is huge. I feel like a heavy load of self judgement and despair can be put down and I can breath. I'm 59 and it's a long time to just feel bad about yourself. Bless you

[@oliviachipperfield6029]

Fabulous. I have CPTSD and am highly sensitive. Lately i keep circling around ASD, wondering if i could be on the spectrum. I am sooo glad that you made this video.

[@kyssedbyfyre915]

Same. I have a CPTSD DX, along w ADD. It complicates things...🤦🏻‍♀️

[@chelseathomas9890]

Same! I’m circling around ASD and I’m curious if our current understanding of CPTSD is missing a true depth of understanding the long term social and sensory ways of being even after the bulk of “healing” has been done. this is opening an entire world for me.

[@higherground337]

Hi Kim! Great video! I'm a woman with ASD who grew up in a loving family, and my husband has complex trauma and ADHD. We share a lot of the similarities that you mentioned, including sensory sensitivities, emotional dysregulation, stimming, and needing a lot of alone time. There are also huge differences between us. I'd like to share a few of the main ones here: 1. He has difficulties planning for or looking forward to things in the future, while I don't have any problem with this. 2. It takes me a lot longer to process my emotions than him. 3. I have meltdowns. He gets dysregulated sometimes, but he never has meltdowns. 4. We've both had sleep issues at different points in our lives, but his are much more severe and long-term than mine. 5. This is a big one: I don't catch most of the sarcasm and random jokes that come my way. He has no difficulty with that at all. 6. My mind can handle only one thing or a few things at a time, while he can multitask and take in lots of information at once. Of the two of us, I'm a much more literal thinker.

[@restlessmosaic]

As someone with level 1 autism (diagnosed 6 years ago/age 31) and likely CPTSD: 1) I will make as much space as you want for learning. I always feel loved and validated here. That wave goodbye at the end always feels meaningfully reassuring. 2) It's weird to think about, but precisely correct diagnoses are mostly relevant for legal, human resources, or therapy options. Beyond that, if pulling from one set of solutions is helping someone, it doesn't matter if the diagnosis is exactly right - they're getting helped! In this way, I see it a lot like classifying a song into a genre. Does a country song require a Southern accent, twangy electric guitars, or talk about homes/bars? If a song has half of those but not the other half, do you file it under country in a record store? After a point, it only matters to bring people to the content. Where it does *not* matter is to gatekeep, e.g. "this isn't REAL country music - where's your accent?" or "you can't be autistic - where's your special interest?" So all sorts of life classifications have this same basic issue. You're not alone in the struggle. :-)

[@pearlsongfeather1788]

Would like to add that Postpartum Depression can exacerbate CPTSD and Autism overlap...this can be very long lasting for some. I am on this journey as well. Lots of discoveries including the role Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Syndrome may have as well. Boggling!! Enjoying this series very much. Thank you.

[@rubycubez1103]

I'm so sorry ur going through that. Postpartum seems like another world on top of the CPTSD. I'm sorry...

[@emmabby22]

I hope you find peace🩵

[@aliasgirl9]

I think I was undx’d postpartum bc I was afraid of being anything other than typical. After my first child is when I remember things starting to go downhill. And the times I would go to a doctor to try and seek help, the only thing they wanted to help me with was telling me to eat less, exercise more and take ssri’s. That when I said ok thankyou, left their office and cried. From then on it would be a several year cycle before things got bad enough for me or I got brave enough to try again. I never had a constant dr as an adult bc they kept moving away. I took matters into my own hands bc not doctor is going to be concerned about my well being as a much as me. I too ran into RSD among others until I discovered it’s just another symptom.

[@Obsessedwithpurple]

I find your videos very helpful. Thank you for posting them. They information really does help to validate how I feel.

[@sallie4str]

One of the reasons that I chose to be an artist at a young age- was to say to the social world " I'm allowed to be quirky, Im an artist." I have always looked for creative ways to push back, so I didn't have to fawn... I didn't get an ASD diagnosis until age 54. I'm very interested in understanding the difference between ASD and CPTSD. I want to accept what I can't change, change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the diffrence. 😊 Kim, I found this video very helpful! Please do more on this overlap. No, the intro was great! But please slow down a little. Some neurodiverse people have difficulties with process speed etc. ❤

[@allthefandoms92]

I love your long intros for one thing, and I really appreciate the care that you use when speaking about these topics. This is a great series and I'm really glad to see more of it.

[@firestarter1106]

It's good to embrace the positives. I love how I have special interests and can get really deep with it. I love how I'm happy and comfortable in my own space and don't have to be around people all the time to feel good

[@jasminealixandranorth]

Spot on video in every way. Absolutely....seeing the world through a naive lens - rainbows and unicorns - wrongly giving people the benefit of the doubt, and over trusting the wrong people has brought me endless problems.

[@Nutellochka]

Thank you very much for your valuable help and efforts! I can relate to everything you mentioned in this video.

[@prophouse504]

Thank you for this series - and please keep going! I’m 50 and post-menopausal (started at 35). I’ve had a lot of stressors over the last 15ish years that have triggered a reversion in the way I deal with trauma and every day uncomfortably situations. Most recently my abusive father passed - and dementia exacerbated his narcissistic tendencies. Less than a month later Mom threatened suicide and hasn’t spoken to me since because I called 911 - she had attempted before (she uses self harm as a means of control). I identify SO much with level 1 but for I have a history of a sarcastic tongue and I have a very vague memory of pre-2nd grade where I was very social - 2nd grade is where my dyslexia really kicked in and the “stupid” and “your brother is smarter” type comments began. All that to say thank you. Please keep going.

[@louern123]

🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@jenniferbujak2307]

just found this channel recently, thanks for all of your research and time spent to bring us all this information. i was diagnosed with ADHD at 7yrs old and put on meds ( this was the 80’s) then as a unmedicated teen i was diagnosed with OCD, dyslexia, dyscalculia and bi polar. As a adult looking back i can see where my mood swings ( bi polar) was a combo of a unmedicated Teen ADHD’er who couldn’t regulate emotions. My OCD was oddly specific and i think more related to all the sexual abuse starting at age 3-7 years old. Now listening to all of this new information i believe i have cptsd. I also had a very verbally abusive dad, who when he was medicated later in life is super cool now, not so much as a kid with all of his anger and mood swings. I got locked in my bed room once and was told i couldn’t come out until i was happy.. 🤦🏻‍♀️ As a adult i found myself in a verbally and physically abusive relationship adding to the trauma as my x killd my pets and tried to strangle me. I also my self got on a hyper focus on autism since i relate to alot , but its confusing since adhd also has similar symptoms, and the cptsd adds to the confusion. I stopped getting counseling a few yrs ago since i new more about the subjects than the people i was seeing from all of my hyper focused research on my issues

[@chillwinstonuk]

This is such an important topic. I've felt for a long time now that it feels impossible to separate so many of these terms. Where is the ADHD, Autistic or AuDHD adult who doesn't have CPTSD, codependent tendencies, and pathological attachments behaviours? After all, these are all words to describe internal experiences and how we relate and see the world....and we as humans create the words. As an autistic and ADHD man, I really feel there is a language that can't be described with words which I really feel particularly when In nature and when with animals. The noisy, shallow world is like pollution to above. It drives me crazy. This is why the more I unmask, and throw off the crap I've taken on from the world, I start to really think see that the Autistic person is not the problem, the world is

[@riversong_]

With sensory and intimacy. My husband grew a long beard. I have an issue with hair touching me, like that light touch, cobwebby feel. I had to stop our intimate moments because I just couldn't get past the feeling of the hair. I think he took it as me criticising the beard and his autonomy/masculinity rather than it being about the sensory side of things. I'm starting to understand more about my sensory issues but back then I was just a picky bitch.

[@miyaiun4723]

Hi. I have had a weird relationship with hair I believe my whole life. I think its getting worse. Or maybe its just that my whole situation is worsening and I cant even stand feeling my hair longer than a few cm. But I have symptoms of autism and I think my mom is autistic and narcisistic, but I also think I might have cptsd. Its hard not knowing and not having some means of dealing with it all.

[@pattischolten7303]

Thank you for this discussion. I have been diagnosed with PTSD by a few therapists. I have been thinking that maybe I am also autistic - I isolate a lot - love people but really haven't made any close friends in my life. Anyway - here to learn. I love the wallpaper behind you. Could you share the name of it with me please?

[@freeandfabulous4310]

I’m all of this except the victimhood, drug/ self harm issues! I’m more of a fighter but definitely keep going back to abusive type people with whom I’m already in relationship and forget or expect that they won’t do the dysfunctional behaviors. I’m always shocked at how mean they can be. Thank you so much! You are amazing, Dr Sage and I think you are really onto something here! Will continue to follow and then look forward to some videos on how to manage better with these symptoms!

[@charnesch4274]

This is a fascinating series. Thank you so much for doing it.

[@BryanAllenSmith]

Wow, thank you so much! I have been on a desperate journey trying to understand myself because I have 2 little daughters and I need to get myself under control to protect them from me so I don’t continue the legacy of traumatic family habit energy. Your so far the best resource I have found during my intense search . Thank you

[@sandralee7480]

Thank you so much for taking the time to make these videos for us. I am just now allowing myself to really dive into learning more about these types of diversities and how they may be related in my own life, and to have someone relaying the information that has such an obvious compassion & curiosity for the topic has been very comforting and appreciated. The way that you make a conscious effort to remain inclusive and mindful of all of the different perspectives out there has not gone unnoticed. you do so quite beautifully. Thank you for your courage and commitment to sharing with those in need 🙏🏻💖

[@divinelight4475]

Congratulations Kim on your silver medal from YT! Well timed video for me - have just started questioning the PTSD/ASD crossover in myself. So much rings true. I also work with vulnerable 16-18 year olds most of who experience what you are describing. Thank you so much Kim 💕♥️

[@opticalexcellence-wendytob862]

I can relate to your comments around trusting and believing only good things about those in my circle whom I trust and care about. Also, I tend to treat those I’m in contact with (a clients in my own store, for example) as if they’re my best friends. I think that’s maybe a strategy I took on to appear non-threatening and nice to people. It’s not a very good strategy, by the way. I’m am 70 yr old recently self-diagnosed ASD woman. Congratulations 🎉 on your award 🥇. I’m grateful for you and your videos, each and every day. Thank you for being you.

[@madiherr555]

as someone who’s definitely got cptsd and someone who most likely is autistic i appreciate this series so much

[@lifetimeactor6789]

I've been up all night and it's around 4:46 am where I am. What you said about staying up very late because that's when it feels the most safe (peaceful) has a lot to do with this habit I've fallen into. Thanks for all the work you are putting into creating these videos!

[@Taratreehugger]

I really like the disclaimer about still learning in the intro. Great way of putting it.

[@aliasgirl9]

I’m so glad you’re exploring this. Long story short, I did plenty of research myself in order to self Dx as a non credentialed late 40’s woman. As I await autism Dx, I feel conflicted as I learned everything g you discussed here and your previous video. My self Dx state according to what I’ve learned so far is that I am an HSP who has/struggles with disorganized attachment style, cptsd and or high masking autism. I also went through MBTI and tested twice as an INFJ. There may be something to explore there too but things got so overwhelming and I felt like I was on the right track so I started doing stuff about it to begin changing things for myself - to be the kind of person no matter what label I for most with, would take the good parts and learn how to take the not so good parts and make them work for me. I am healing and feel wonderful most of the time as I’m glad I looked for answers instead of waiting . Having a support person to talk to helped expedite that healing my helping me to recognize and accept that I wasn’t crazy. From then on, I’ve been flying through stuff and following my intuitions. Many blessings as you continue your research. I know there are ALOT of women out there who are hurting and confused.

[@adelita2115]

I'm an INFJ too...

[@karenelliott-grinnell4643]

We could be twins, I am 62 however. I have c-ptsd, am a HSP, INFJ, with disorganized attachment, possibly a high masking ASD .

[@Rosematterz]

Great video! It would be easier if you time stamp points in your video like 6:54 overlap, in the description ❤ I'm glad to have come across this to better understand my friend 💛

[@MyDreamInWonderland]

As a young adult with cptsd and *maybe* autism I had to learn to expect the worst of people. Eventhough I knew just how many people were scums of the earth, if they didn't outright reject or mock me, my thinking was automatically "give them the benefit of the doubt because you would have liked to have been given the benefit of the doubt by your family when you told them what your brother had done". 😓 Especially with people who told me had some trauma. Now I have to remind myself, "even if they have trauma, it doesn't make them a good person. Distrust them until they prove they're trustworthy". I'm 27 yrs old and I still don't know how much of me is cptsd and how much is autism though (That's how I found your video 😅)

[@meghangriesemer1129]

Excellent information. I am interested in how the Autisitic person responds to trauma. If you have both, how does that present and more importantly how can we treat?

[@parfenyj]

17:00 yes, I have recently realized that I feel safe when everyone is asleep, and it feels like a good idea to stay up until that is the case... not good for the circadian rhythm! ... thank you for the confirmation.

[@mstewie08]

This is fascinating, I am a high masking late diagnosed ADHD/ASD who was required to choose my diagnosis in 2009 to determine treatment path, and as my level of awareness was so limited to stereotypes of ASD and seeing how other "high functioning autistics" as it was called at the time were successful, I chose to pursue ADHD, and brushed the bigger problem under the rug. Fast forward to 2019 and im struggling to maintain brain function when I tested in the 97th percentile as a youth. Started digging into ASD and realized how wrong I was, and received my diagnosis shortly after learning they had changed the DSM to allow both conditions. So much catching up to do, and finding the place to start is the hardest part.

[@3rz-rhymesreasonsandwritte437]

As you are a psychologist delving into this field of autism, I'd be so happy to be a candidate to participate in any of your research on the subject of autism, if you are ever looking for candidates to study.... Thank you so much for entering this fairly "new world" of unchartered waters as a trained psychologist as I assume it must take much courage to side step from the norm within your professional industry. I've been listening to Yt videos for 3 years now on this newest research of people (apparently mainly females but it's seemingly prevalent in my male siblings from my observation) who internalize because of their autism rather than having the more obvious externalizing behaviours. Also, how it affects the nervous and sensory system. The many videos I've binged on have given me great answers to my issues, experiences and how I tick. And not only myself, but my adult family, (kids and grandkids) and also senior aged siblings, their kids being my nieces and nephews and my late parents and late aunts. It gives me understanding and reason to pardon my late mother's "antics"🙄. I'm the youngest sibling of a large and very dysfunctional family, 63 years of age, and have little hope or finanaces to get a professional diagnosis so we, us more senior aged autistic people, only have one option really which is to self diagnose. Thankfully there is a soothing sense of being believed and understood through virtual Yt videos such as yours and others for which I'm truly grateful however we are still quite invisible. I so look forward to travelling my own journey alongside yours as you enter the jungle of little unknown. I did an online test 3 years ago which indicated a high score of potentially being autistic and after all the videos I've watched I feel very comfortable with my self diagnosis. However, I wish I could also afford a private one but on enquiry, it will total somewhere over $3000 Australian at Minds and Hearts in Queensland which is fairly close to where I live. It's Dr Tony Attwood's hang out and I believe he's a world leader in the field of the autism spectrum and both types of behaviours. So a professional diagnosis is not likely to happen for me which is frustrating (and unfair 🙄). Also we have to deal with the fact that many of the unusual medical things that we need to see a GP for, and even specialists, go unanswered and we get put in the "too hard basket" which adds to our internal anger and frustrations... Also, much time I've spent sitting and talking with psychologists over approx 25 years all tolled, hoping and praying to find answers for my mental health and get improvements but nothing was ever forthcoming. It was as though I was such an odd bod to them and completely unable to be helped and couldn't be worked out. I've gotten more answers from the Yt videos in the first week compared to 25 years of "doing the right thing" by going to the professionals for therapy and answers. Now I much better understand why that is from your explanation in an earlier video that psychologists aren't trained in autism. It's a crying shame because my even more affected daughter finally got the courage to see a psychologist but she didn't get any answers either and she's gone very downhill... So thank you again and please remember that I put my hand up if you would ever like a candidate/s for research coz I believe I'd be very good for scientific research. 🔬👩‍🔬 🤭☺️.. 😀🙏🇦🇺🐨

[@arab6745]

Your words are always clear and precise, I've yet to find another expert on KZbin with such clarity and detail. Very satisfying to listen to. Thank you.

[@b.d.1978]

Thank you Doctor Sage for sharing your own pain in CPTSD and possible high masking autism and research. Your sincerity and genuine disclosure meant more than I can possibly tell you. I have lived a life similar - identify with your background, all symptoms, all relationship problems, not understanding, etc. You discussed my life. I am now 69 years old, did not reach my potential, am above average intelligence, but all relationships have been misunderstood and confusing. I am a true friend, empathic and am confused by the way that friends have left. My adult daughter doesn't understand me. I didn't understand me, except for the usual diagnoses of GAD, major dep, dysthimia, so on. I had wondered if I am on spectrum of some sort, yet it didn't "seem" to fit. What matters is that you gave me a sense of belonging and possible understanding of myself through your Video. Thank you for choosing to be vulnerable. I admire you greatly. Yours is the first you tube that I subscribed to. It was as a result of your openness and sharing of your pain. I can't thank you enough, Doctor. You may have saved lives.

[@LvsKent]

OMG, how on earth I have I managed to get to 65 and not realised this stuff!!! My Mum has called me naive all my life and I never ever understood why. Someone else once said you have your head in the clouds in your airy fairy world. Now I understand. No one has ever got me!! The signs have all been there. Rocking from an early age, still do this. I rocked myself to sleep as a child on all fours. I wore out mattresses and my parents had to take the legs off my bed because it squeezed all night. I have always been labeled as a problem. My siblings and my Mum do not talk to me anymore. The list is endless of symptoms which have been unexplained until now. Finally I am beginning to understand about myself. Thank you so much.

[@Mab-pw4yt]

Thank you for beeing a proffesional that also is humble! As long as we admit that we do not know it all, the greater chance to grow in learning, and when we need help, so much easier to respect and to seek help from an open minded person that also is serious and aim to listen and wants to understand.🌼

[@ThunderSen]

Few years ago I got the biggest compliment from my coworker who said I was such a normal guy. I celebrated that compliment like the highest accomplishment in life. I am now 35 years old and I recognized most of myself in most of your videos. Bitter sweet. Mostly bitter reality. I just can't.

[@jonwilkinson3886]

Thank you Dr Kim for exploring this complex topic & congratulations on your award. My journey may illuminate some subtleties in the juxtaposition / commonality of these conditions. I was abandoned and institutionalized along with my two older siblings by my parents when I was a toddler, then we were united again under my (crazy) mother’s care on an on-&-off basis with endless home moves resulting in 9 schools by graduating high school so I never really was able to form any close relationships and had little to no healthy male or female mentoring and little to no social training. I left home and went to sea on international ships as a career t 17 years of age which probably added to stunted emotional / social development. I was academically talented and became and Engineer with other degrees in science and business with a special interest in trains and all things steam powered then later neurology and psychology. I had great difficulty fitting into social situations and reading non-verbal and cultural cues as a young man and women had me completely stumped. I self-diagnosed as Asperger’s Syndrome in my 40’s but my subsequent journey has altered this belief to more a case of Childhood PTSD, which may be helpful in your quest for better understanding some of the nuances here. After leaving my marriage of 17 years in my 40’s I had a five year intimate relationship with a woman who was a full blown ‘Aspie’ with severely autistic identical twin boys and an Aspie daughter. One of the striking differences between me and her family seemed to be a severe ‘mind blindness’ on their part and an almost total inability of them to read facial expressions / micro-expressions, social cues, tone of voice and body language and a tendency to severe emotional melt-downs. My partner and I both deeply studied ASD’s as amateurs partly in order to assist her kids in life. She purchased a professional facial expression & body language test kit and what really shocked me was their almost total inability to discern emotional states in others, which I clearly didn’t suffer from. I have been doing a lot of research towards understanding various personality disorders and diving heavily into male / female interactions trying to understand dating and relationships, which I had absolutely no guidance in as a child or young man. I clearly suffered from some pretty severe attachment wounding which was probably further damaged by some of my traumatic past intimate relationships. Social anxiety with people outside a work or hobby environment had been quite troubling until recently. Working through selected courses in Thais Gibson’s “Personal Development School” has seen incredibly effective changes in my emotional calmness and ability to relate “normally” in social situations that would have left me drowning in the past. Thais’ “Integrated Attachment Theory” and courses are well worth a look for anyone else with a life journey like mine. - Never too late at 59 YO LOL!

[@annikachildofthoth]

Can't thank you enough for this... You are making sense of something so complex and deep! And congratulations you are so worth it!💕

[@cupofteawithpoetry]

Thank you SO much for this series of videos Dr Sage! My autism diagnosis also came with perimenopause. My first diagnosis was depression, then perimenopause and then a few weeks later autism. For a while I genuinely felt that I didnt know who I was. I think I was in shock from 3 diagnosis within such a short amount of time. Then I went through a long grieving process and now, with the help of some fantastic youtube channels and a year and a half of counselling from a counsellor who is experienced in autism, I am at the stage of happy acceptance. I would strongly advise anyone looking for a one to one counselor to look online for someone experienced in autism - it makes the absolute world of difference and it doesnt matter where they live if you have your sessions via Zoom, Skype or phone. I prefer it that way anyway, because we use Zoom, but audio only so that I dont have to make intense eye contact with her - perfect!! 😊

[@kaye_dee_did]

Dr. Sage. I'm so glad we're stumbling along on this at the same time. I think I may have both as well. You are my favorite female psychologist on here!

[@terransnaturesoul]

Thank you so much for your videos! This one especially ticks all the boxes. Access to one-on-one therapy is not always an option for many, but this seriously is the next best thing. Not only are you breaking new ground in research and understanding by actively taking feedback and building on what is already known, but you have created a wonderful community of caring, aware people who support you as well as each other. Hats off!

[@charleneheaman2033]

It has been both enlightens and incredibly validating and encouraging to listen to your videos. I originally found your channel when searching for information on Narcissistic Mothers and the trauma associated with that. In conjunction with my therapist I have begun unpacking that tangled web and recently chose to go no contact with my Mother. I’m still coming to terms with the impact of that choice. This series on high masking autism is opening my eyes even more as I feel as though my life is being described, especially in your talk about the list of characteristics. Wow! Mind blown. I value you, your time and commitment to being this information to the public. You are making a difference in my life and I want you to know that. Sending you love and prayers as you continue on your own journey to well being.

[@jenbloom6848]

I love your “long intros.” For me, it’s all about providing context (which I have learned can be an ASD trait).

[@louiseyoung1231]

I relate to most of these, but it's from CPTSD. The cross over is eye opening. thanks for sharing ❤

[@taushablack8020]

My adopted daughter is 14. Born addicted to drugs😢 Diagnosed with autism at 4 years old. She witnessed a traumatic event when my son was bitten by a rattlesnake and almost died. She was a very joyful child until she reached puberty at 12 years old. She is incredibly violent and angry. I don’t know if it’s because of the Autism or the post traumatic stress. Thank you for this video. It brought some clarity.❤️

[@scarred10]

Seeing someone get bitten by a snake does not change personality, it's the autism.

[@kohnfutner9637]

Age 12 is when my mom said I was an angel turned problematic. She was always problematic but she had a troubled childhood and divorce, I digress, I understand now better what stress she was going through but I didn't understand at the time- I was going through things, too. My mom and I were very close growing up and grew apart in many ways, I've become distant from almost everyone- people trigger me because they don't live wisely.. I didn't like being controlled. It's hard for the parent and child. I suggest plenty of space, welcome communication and don't judge or be controlling, try to be open minded and understand your daughter. Careful not to punish in anger. Hope y'all can get along and TRULY educate (love) one another.

[@klarmy8824]

So many good points again, thank you! On the subject of triggers, oh goodie it's almost the 4th of July again. I HATE fireworks. Bang! Boom! f-ing horrible.

[@Nancy-cm1rh]

This is sooooo helpful......😊

[@GentleJungle]

😢 oof. I know I have signs of extreme ADHD but also CPTSD. THE STIMMING! So... much yes on every other point. Autism, CPTSD & ADHD. Worst

[@rubycubez1103]

Bless you for even touching this topic. I find the psychiatric community would rather label late diagnosed women with trauma, bipolar, borderline, etc ... Im having this issue with my current psych who is an older Indian male. He keeps pushing the idea of dissociation related to trauma. I just think I have a vivid imagination and feel the most comfortable there. I still know Im in my body. Im in the process in having him help me taper off Luvox for OCD since its not helping. Ive been on the med for over a year and hes taking his time thinking the med still may work. Im so disgusted with the power I think he has over me. The therapist Im seeing is part of the same organization so I need to see them both to continue treatment. But shes in her 20s and Im 42. She doesnt have the life experience like me. I feel like Im too much for her. Sorry for venting. I just dont know what to do and hate feeling stuck. Take me as a client Dr Sage lol. I love your approach and kindness.

[@ewamariamajdan6200]

Thank you for the very informative series. I have cPTSD (childhood trauma, adult life trauma). I am also an HSP, which is the reason why traumatic experiences had such profound impact on my nervous system. I have all overlapping symptoms between cPTSD and ASD. Knowing the diagnosis would be great, but I would ultimately like to know how it would effect the way I should cope and deal with everyday challenges. Also how the diagnosis would effect my therapy. Thank you again for helping to explain why I feel so different.

[@v.k.2320]

Yeah operating in child mode with innocence is what I did all my life. I am only self diagnosed autism. Was telling ppl I think I have that since 15 years but no one was looking into because this are only rain mans. Since 4 years I am researching and now in this year I finally know I have it. Have to wait for an appointment for a screening. Female 41

[@kobusdevos4984]

Thank you for the podcast. Very interesting topic indeed and i am sure not one diagnosis will fit the individual. Now that i have listened to this coupled with the possibility of CPTSD it makes sense, or rather it widens the field even more. God Bless you All.

[@cbot2423]

Thanks so much for your continued effort and dedication. Congrats on 100k you deserve it! ❤

[@Wendyzee1612]

On the topic of language, I think everyone is still working on it - and it is changing all the time. What I have found (for myself) is that I don't really mind if the word is not exact, as long as it does not have negative connotations in layman's language. I will explain a bit: Words like disorder, deficit and even 'issues' when used without a qualifier, are inherently negative words outside of specialized fields of study. I know that this thought places a burden on people like yourself dr. Kim - however you are a voice - and a mental health professional, so your words will carry more weight. I like that you are very clear on the fact that it is learning process. My rankings for these 3 words in frequency of use: Disorder - NEVER Deficit - add the word 'perceived' - ie: perceived deficit. It can be clarified that it is neuro-typical social environment that creates the perceived deficit. I do not have these issues with my neuro-divergent friends, especially when no neuro-typical friends are present Issues - must always be qualified - and never that 'we have/they have' - don't personalize it. For example - There can be issues related to ...

[@sandrabryant6405]

Every time I watch these videos literally every point describes me. Intelligent uber empathic naive alien. Have been prey to sociopaths and narcissists. Also have cptsd childhood and adult trauma. Thanks for sharing!

[@vitalosiute]

Ive always suspected a link between the two in myself as a sensitive with cptsd and the other things you mentioned how it ties in with autistic qualities. This is super important as you begin to share, i'm excited to open up this conversation and listen

[@firestarter1106]

I don't mind if people don't get me. I embrace being unique. I find communication helps. If I don't cope well with certain things I try to be really open with people and tell them rather than build it up

[@ksthoughtpalace3042]

I was diagnosed with c-PTSD in my 40's, then years later also with ASD. Sometimes I cannot tell which certain behaviors/reactions of mine are born out of the repeated childhood trauma, or the autism heavy on SPD. On one hand it doesn't matter, but I am just curious at times. A counselor once said autistics are prone to c-PTSD, as just Being in the world for us can be traumatizing on a daily basis.

[@nuclearabomination]

I am not diagnosed yet, but I for sure have CPTSD. I also have had many people ask me if I'm autistic, and I was always mostly friends with autistic people as a kid. I don't want to be wrote off for having autism just because I have CPTSD because I really think it could be both.

[@r.w.bottorff7735]

Per your disclaimer at the beginning, I appreciate that you are using anecdotal sources in this. Thank you.

[@sheri6089]

Your clarification of the differences were so helpful to as there are a number of videos about CPTSD vs Autism. None of those really clarified this for me whereas your's has. I also wondered at my incredible naivete throughout the years, so now I don't feel so stupid.

[@LornetteNorman]

I’m shocked… by your description of how I have felt for so long.

[@giakhalsa7971]

Thank you so much. I think you did a fabulous job on a very complicated topic. I do not know too much about either of these topics, except what I have learned on your channel and other you tube channels Mental and emotional health can be so complicated and mysterious. Thank you for sharing some light. On this very deep topic❤

[@oleviawatters2352]

I've been on, a research journey to try to figure out my brain and I'm fairly,convinced that I have both cptsd and level 1 autism and can't get my psychiatrist to believe either one. I appreciate you making this series.

[@amyn3262]

Love that your recognising your level of education. Please stop calling it ASD. This term in itself is outdated but is still being used by most professionals. Autism is not a spectrum from most to least it’s specific to each individual. Think of being autistic as a mind map of different traits that you may or may not identify with and then there’s levels to how each trait may impact you. I am autistic and very well educated by other psychologists. Hope this helps

[@kriskilmartin8574]

re autism interests, im asd, a better question isnt what interests, but what are you really really really good at, or really really really love doing....that is their special interest. that is their superpower.

[@sheenaoconnell2096]

A lot if us appreciate your intros. Thank you for what you do 😊

[@espectroarcoiris]

Dear Kim, thank you so much for this kind and insightful video. Regarding being naive; I feel it is related to the CPTSD when I learned to behave and think as a non threatening individual in front of my aggresors (defending my self would make my parents react with more aggression) and through the abuse I got trained to ignore the thoughts that would alert me about dangerous situations. I can get overly empathic with the aggressors just to hide and block any glimpse of those saving thoughts. Even when someone is lying and I discover the lie I feel ashamed and gasslight myself to blind my mind and avoid confrontations.

[@merakimade9676]

The part where you spoke of being naive is so very true! I have the hardest time wrapping my mind around people being manipulated and abusive knowingly. I have always felt very naive, I just don’t get it and so I learned to not trust my own judgment. It’s put me in relationships where I’ve been taken advantage of.

[@LivMorYes]

I just found you ❤thank you for the work you are doing. I felt totally seen today and that was all I’ve needed.

[@dieresis9]

The intro was very helpful. After listening to the difficulties in making sense of overlapping patterns, such as biases and omissions in the DSM, it made me wonder if some of the newer computing disciplines, e.g., human-centered AI, might be helpful. With AI assistance, we could gather and analyze social media discussions of the experiences that highly sensitive and autistic people are having, and lift up ideas for research for improving diagnostics and treatments, and possibly also ideas for improving the ways we educate children, because it seems that to truly make a difference in improving quality of life for those of us who experience these problems, wholistic approaches will be needed.

[@hanabanana8127]

My stimming is I taught myself how to do needle felting and mastered it very quickly on accident because it's so centering and relaxing for me (even despite how many band aids I go through 😂). And now I have an etsy store where I can sell the things I felted so well I can't keep them in stock. And then I have a minor shutdown whenever I have to go to the post office, but I *have* to go because I have a personal yet erroneous belief that I can't trust the post office to do it right unless I watch them like it's Subway I went ahead and made an appointment with a medical professional who can do an autism assessment for me. But now I'm worried all they'll have is blocks or puzzles or something like they give kids, and they won't believe me about literally all the anecdotal and physical proof that I am autistic, wish me luck because I'm in Alabama and that's a problem all by itself lol Oh hey I could post an update ten months later, I am in fact autistic, and that has answered so many questions

[@SReginaSmallo-0]

I hope that went well 😮

[@hanabanana8127]

@@SReginaSmallo-0 it did! The way they do it is a series of tests like IQ tests and stuff and take elements of all those results, and kind of overlay them and see if the right markers line up! Also found out I'm not bipolar at all!

[@carmelittanewby9188]

Thanks for your information. Learning is power❤

[@metamorphosis702]

I appreciate this. I'm still really struggling with the question of whether or not I am neurodivergent or have CPTSD alone. I started to recognize CPTSD after leaving a long term abusive relationship. But then, as I was processing everything in therapy I started to see many of the symptoms that were present from childhood as well. And now I'm questioning all kinds of ways in was as a kid and throughout my life. There is so much overlap though... but this information is really helpful in helping me to get closer to helping me understand myself.

[@yanni246]

Your wallpaper is very calming as well as your voice. Your videos are easy to listen and learn from ❤

[@themekfrommars]

Pete Walker, Flight-Freeze Hybrid. Thoughts?

[@S.S.web4003]

I have cptsd. My husband has ADHD. When he would complain about symptoms or struggles, I would think, well I have the same issues. But I knew I didn't have adhd. That led me to researching, where I found your videos. Very interesting. I have hsp high sensitivity too. I know this video is on autism. But I think the overall link is neurodivergence, which includes adhd.

[@Slipping_thru_the_Seams]

i love love love that you're talking about this. can't wait to see more!

[@janeeni]

True.. and 🌿 these videos are of tremendous support for me!!! And I'm guessing they are for many 🌿 Excellent fertilizer for Self Compassion & Acceptance this is, thankyou 💖🙏💖 people around me don't get it, so your video is immediately comforting for me. ✨I'm not broken, I am simply fluent in a different mind/body /life language ✨🌟💖🌟✨

[@KellyCruz5]

Wow I'm soooo glad that u are touching on this. My whole life it's been a struggle.....I'm leaving a comment on here because I CUDNT leave it on ur other video 5 signs.....idk y but my messages probably won't make sense lol, but it goes with that video I just watched. It's spot on for my childhood n my life, n my parents ...both dead.....and now 4 my children now makes SOOO much sense n we have to!!!!! Keep this amazing work up to help ppl. But it's so me 💯. 🙏

[@deec411]

Thank you for these videos. I believe my son is autistic and was misdiagnosed as ADHD. He is 22 and is struggling with very little work history and I am so scared for his future. I am trying to get him reevaluated so he get the help he needs. I am also trying to deal with the guilt of being the cause of this because of my own autism, which I believe has also been misdiagnosed as ADHD.

[@mandaloolux9216]

Just want you to know I am in the exact same situation and I'm also scared. My son is in denial about his autism because he is high functioning enough to semi pass off as normal but has these idiosyncrasies. I don't know how to get him the help he needs because he wants to believe he's normal and it would hurt if he knew I thought otherwise. He's 24 and a beautiful soul and very smart but dysfunctional executively. I found out about my own autism a few years ago, I'm 45 now. I was dx with adhd when I was 17.

[@AmyF.1977]

You can have both ADHD and Autism! My daughter has both. I know others as well.

[@Scars.Animal.Rehab.Sanctum]

Love your videos Kim! Thank you!

[@bigbaddave1095]

Dr. Kim, thank you so much for your videos. About 3 years ago, I began experiencing panic attacks and more generalized anxiety, some situational depression, a loss of abilities like losing my ability to speak extemporaneously. A friend of mine asked if I was autistic and I said no. But after doing a deep dive into adult autism, and especially high masking autism, I'm fairly convinced that I am autistic. I'm in the middle of the diagnostic process right now and my psychologist is having difficulty in sorting out whether or not my symptoms stem from a combination of (possibly) cPTSD and inattentive ADHD or if they stem from autism and are accompanied by cPTSD. I've always known I had trauma, but until this diagnostic assessment I really didn't get just HOW much it affected me. My psychologist is stuck on one point and seems to be leaning away from autism because she feels that I pick up on too many NT cues. My special interest is learning about anything and everything. One of the categories I've spent the most time learning and trying to understand is human behaviour. I've been observing the humans for 48 years, trying to understand how to emulate their behaviours and fit in. I suspect I pick up on their cues because of that. I'm afraid my psychologist may not see it that way and may not be willing to diagnose me because, in her words, "Even if you meet all the DSM criteria for autism, if I can't differentiate it from your trauma and can't know if it is truly there or just appears to be there, then I can't diagnose you." It seems to me like a lot of high-masking individuals would be overlooked for a diagnosis under these conditions. Do you have any advice for how one might definitively decide or determine the genesis of all my symptoms? My psychologist did say that she hates that we diagnose based on disease names and disorders rather than based on traits, symptoms, and behaviours because - even if my traits, symptoms, and behaviours are given to me by cPTSD, they still have the effect of making me feel, act, and interact like an autistic person. And the diagnosis would be incredibly validating for me, letting me know this is not my fault and that I should be admired for my strength and my abilities to learn and not scorned for the ways in which I still don't fit in. Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.

[@rachelm79]

Maybe people who grow up with autism find the experience so traumatic that they end up with C-PTSD, or symptoms of. Being that highly sensitive, naive, “different” in this world is traumatic on its own?

[@LurkingLinnet]

Beautiful❤ Thank You Doctor Kim

[@jessicafowler736]

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it. Subscribed.

[@Fittiboy]

Only watched the first minute so far, but thank you for actually learning from the autistic community! I have seen some horror stories about misinformed professionals who get all their knowledge about autism from other allistic people. Of course that tendency doesn't have to be malicious at all, but it certainly creates all sorts of problems.

[@Darkles295]

I recently discovered your work. Thank you for sharing your knowledge you are very helpful to listen to.

[@sheri6089]

The naivete is amazing!!!