COMPLEX PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

[@lucristianx]

Childhood abuse is a tough one because we talk about re-integration when I was never integrated to begin with.

[@ZenithAstrology]

truth ✊

[@loverrlee]

Exactly. I was never physically or sexually (that I know of), but I was very much mentally and emotionally abused all throughout my childhood, making me feel like an outcast among my peers to this day. :(

[@ZenithAstrology]

+K0K0S washington posts horoscope yesterday said I would be talking to "older" relatives. Nope I'm def a unique Aquarian, as my Mom was the only one I EVER lost her in 2002, and in 1987 when I was 7 and was first taken to Colorado Christian home.

[@ZenithAstrology]

+loverrlee Both happed multiple times to me. Did my moms Astrology chart and it's very similar to mindy mc creedys although I am happy they tried to help, I wa re- sexually and physically abused in the grouphomes. I acted out on my sister a year and a half younger, because it was done to me by a male of my moms girlfiends friend, he went to jail and my sister is the one that told on him the first time. But my mom sweapt it under the rug. what was done to me, but THEY made me feel like a child molester. At 6 years old? I have therapy for this today, in fact. I am glad I re - trusted to go. for instance found how absurd it is to have a sex with another guy that is not your son's father and only a three-month period because that's how young my sister is she's only a year-and-a-half younger than me. my mom disowned her entire family for their sexual abuse that happened to her. and I never met any family on my dad's side because she took me away from him when I was very young and went with my sister's father and then maybe believe that my sister's father was my father. regardless I never forget stayed home ever. no one wanted to adopt a child that was involved in what they saw as incest at that time. so I stayed in group homes many people do not understand the difference between foster care and group home care foster care is where they actually try to give you a family and give you some love and you could possibly be safe. Group Home Care is basically like a free jail it's like the most violent place you could be and no one wants to adopt these kids because they're too much of a problem so this is the last step before actual Juvenile Hall. When I told my therapist what happened, she said why did you even get into trouble, well my mom was sexually abused which brought up her own stuff. she took it out on me though verbal and physical abuse, and back then they thought if kids act out there sexual abuse they were future "preadators"! Not true! this repeated situations caused major complext PTSD, one or two days Im up- healthy as a horse. then bed, its not that I feel bed sick. i just need to lay down, to feel and see only soft things. or if feel like I may explode. my mind was damaged my sexuality skewed beyond much repair. I look like the healtiest guy but carried the greatest pain. it is one thing to be molested yes and I understand the victim's pain, but it is another thing to be outcasted from your family the little tiny family that you did have the little tiny thing that ever did make you feel a little safe. and to be labeled by the rest of society as worse than a murderer at six years old and beyond. These are the mental plants that I picked up and then I'm STILL trying to clean from my subconscious today. People wonder why job interviews and resumes are so hard for me, there was no there, was no there! I was nothing! I was hiding from there! there was no registry back then so I'm not hiding from that but I was so traumatized by the complexity of the situation. most times all I could do was find a safe place with in a relationship where I couldn't speak what really happened but people would ask me why don't you get a job, when are you going to get a job? like, my mates family would ask this and I will try to explain to them that I just need a little more time to rest like they didn't understand that I needed rest. it was very hard to get my PTSD non reactivated. without being called a lazy bum a user. a weirdo. and I still came to study astrology and become an astrologer I worked very hard to get to where I'm at. And I appreciate and love the people who gave me a place to sit stay came to someehat psychically pick up on our wounded I was. but no one understands the tragedy of being accused of it! And losing the only parent that you've ever had a chance to love. my mom was crazy no doubt as I found that it's insane (through therapy 2 weeks ago) to sleep with a new person so soon after having your first kid. Mixing race while were at it. and I wanted nothing to do with therapy because at first until a mate of mine noticed that I have PTSD from someone that I wrote a book on it on TV. The thing is that I have PTSD from the therapists making my situation worse in my head, then it really was in my childhood. I mean this is the ultimate mind f*** because people in authority in childhood told me what I did was so wrong and then once I get to adulthood I'm told that what I did was not wrong. and that's what I felt when I was young and I could grow up a little bit to see what had happened to me and put it in perspective of what happened to my sister. for instance my sister loves me to death but I stay very far away from Colorado I cannot stand that place it reminds you of the most terrible times in my life. she even let me stay home with my nephew because she believes that what they did to us and our family was so wrong, I only visit very sporadically because I want no other accusations or stuff going down. but one time she left and she left him with me and I said Nicole, do not leave him here as I said it's not that I feel uncomfortable, to do something, its that you're reminding me of the situation and she told me that I have to get them out of my head I have to get them out of our family that they f***** up our family that she loves me and that I need to stay with my nephew and be an uncle. she was going to the corner store. She came up to me and shook me crying saying get them out of your head get them out of your head you're not a child molester!. I still choose to stay far away I love kids to but they also are my biggest fear because they struck so much fear into my subconscious I wasn't allowed to be around kids playgrounds I went to therapy where therapist pride into my sexual thoughts and I went to courts and was very traumatized in the group homes and getting in trouble for acting out sexuallyabused then. so complex PTSD I believe it's a real thing I really really hate that this is the real thing. but unfortunately it looks like a EDMR is not going to work for me. it looks like many other therapies where they target something in your brain some situation that happened that happened one time is just not going to happen for somebody that has complex PTSD. I am sorry that I couldnt attend therapy at first, but in the first couple weeks of me telling my story I found out that my mom was basically a whore. that's what my sister said when I called her and asked her she said my mom was prostituting when she was with my dad. so at first I did not want to go to therapy I was just hoping that my mates and my friends that I was meeting will possibly help me talk about it and sometimes they did but I didn't realize that I was also a traumatising them because whenever I meet someone that is in a crisis, I'm always there for them because I'm so used to being there I guess it's not really easy for me to get traumatized by someone story. but I find it amazing that once I did go to therapy I find out the absolute absurdity it is to have a kid and then make the place where you have kids come out, active again in such a short time. I would have stayed home and sacredly taking care of my first kid instead of being back out and getting involved with another guy, I mean my mom was very vengeful so she could have been getting with this guy just to take revenge on my father and this is just wrong. now if she'll have me as an only child this entire situation wouldn't have happened probably something almost as bad because my molester came from not within my family. but the reacting out of the trauma of my sisters would have never happened causing me to go into State care. Where it happens again. it is very hard thing but I am taking care of it sorry if I overstated here and I hope I'm not traumatising anybody with. but I'm just trying to get some of it out there. Matches my astrology perfectly. I tried to heal myself with just this, and it does work becuse many of the placments ential what happened, but therapy, i did need. i have to go today at 330 for 45 mins. I hate it but once Im there and time has passed I usually always feel better.

[@loverrlee]

Zenith Astrology I'm really sorry to hear you had such a hard time growing up (understatement, I know!). But it is good to hear you are doing better, and you've worked hard to get better. Hopefully it is true what they say - time heals all wounds. You are still here - so that means you are strong! As long as you never act out again, and as long as you don't continue the cycle of abuse that was done to you, that is all you can do. And that is commendable.

[@AlexLaPanda]

I saw another video on this, and the guy in that described it in a really good way. "Complex PTSD is caused by having to adapt to a difficult situation. Learning to behave differently because you live with a potentially dangerous person for a prolonged period of time is a common cause"

[@romanfox5368]

Oh, that's a good one I never heard before. Makes sense too given that most cases come from living in hostile environments with single mothers.

[@MrZwynne]

What video, if you don't mind my asking (a year later)?!

[@void.null.1987]

See, this has always made the most sense to me as a child abuse survivor. You adapt, but those adaptions don't work to your benefit in a "healthy" environment.

[@wordivore]

MrZwynne I'm thinking it might be Richard Grannon. Not sure, just a guess, but even if it's not his videos are really good anyway.

[@RaysDad]

AlexLaPanda being raised by a mother with BPD or NPD can be as stressful as wartime service. I took an on-line C-PTSD self-diagnostic test that indicated that I don't have the disorder. My major problem from having a BPD mother is my avoidant attachment style. I just don't see the value of close relationships.

[@jessicalee163]

Repeated emotional abuse should probably be included as well

[@mcmic1212]

Very true

[@nomadicway9028]

All due respect I do not like to compare situations or dismiss things but there is a huge difference between constantly being and life-threatening situations and being emotionally abused yes being emotionally abuse can cause a lot of issues with self-esteem and self-worth but it is far from complex PTSD

[@nicolew8868]

That was mentioned, domestic abuse can range from emotional, physical to sexual. Same with childhood abuse it could be emotional, verbal, physical or sexual.

[@nicolew8868]

I disagree RJ Alexander, not only as someone who suffers from Complex PTSD, but as someone who is a qualified Counsellor and Student Psychologist.

[@teaist612]

I couldn't agree more.

[@Maltcider]

Don't forget about childhood emotional abuse.

[@juliejoyce3998]

+Polycube i understand that im living with that ,we left our dad 7 months ago and we are getting therapy , but im finding that im losing friends over it as they did not understand about my anxiety , i tried to explain but they get angry with me as im not confident , and recently a friend left because the same thing they didnt like me saying i felt vulnerable and i asked em please dont put certain things on my facebook wall , i dont understand as i was being respectful but they decided to get agressive with me and blame me for her reaction of me , i always tell friends so they understand , id never hide it , should i hide it or what id feel dishonest if i did

[@Maltcider]

Julie Joyce There's a quote I can't quite remember about how people should always tell the truth unless speaking to tyrants. If these people are unwilling to really listen and empathize or they use information you give as a tool for harming you then you should try to not give them too much. I have a similar issue with wanting to tell the truth and be open with people who are not reciprocal and I have to continue remembering to say things in careful ways that don't reveal too much personal information, just the general info, but without lying unless there's no other option.

[@kr1221E]

I got a lot of that. I can cry really easily. I found workplaces, especially, places where jobs were non vocational, to be almost impossible to be in. My boss used to let me use the big boss's empty room when he was out, cos she could see I had trouble with people.

[@kr1221E]

yeah, i tend to share more with warm hearted understanding people, but if I sense the slightest bit of insecurity or hostility, I watch what I say.

[@cathybenoit746]

Fobile Moan I deal with this every single day. I hate the flashbacks. I was told before that I had a yucky sucky childhood.

[@chrislim7976]

Ive been recently diagnosed CPTSD from repeated domestic trauma from childhood. I am 53 and hope to still have a happy fulfilling life. Please never give up. ❤️

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

Me too, although the official diagnosis is PTSD. Makes me angry. Yet to be added to the DSM even after all these years.

[@kr1221E]

Why don't you mention constant emotional or mental abuse? They are invisible but the consequences can be VERY visible.

[@malbifund]

this is a narrow under-informed video produced as a marketing exercise as her business activity ... she is clearly stereo-tying from what she has read ten minutes before she produced her trendy video ... this is not a source of info.

[@babyangelic]

@@malbifund she's a qualified therapist as far as we know? saying " she has read ten minues before producing her trendy video" is really under-informed of you.

[@mariahfaithh123]

@@babyangelic even with her being a qualified therapist as far as we know, the fact that she didn't even seem to think to mention it does bother me. I have been professionally diagnosed with Severe PTSD, and when I was diagnosed she told me that while C-PTSD is not recognized in the DSM that is what I have. I grew up with emotional/psychological abuse by itself. It is a real cause of C-PTSD.

[@skld17]

I understand that just because she didnt mention it doesnt mean it also affects others. She was just giving examples. Its like if she was listing favourite fruits amongst people but not listing yours. There is 100s of examples. I have had repeated emotional, psychological and verbal abuse from the ages of at least 10-18(now) and I resignate with all of what Kati has mentioned. I am really happy she put out this video.

[@babyangelic]

@@mariahfaithh123 ​ I certainly agree; her video is incomplete and far from satisfactory as I was myself looking for any info on C-PTSD originated from child abuse ; my comment was much rather directed to the user that compared Kati Morton's channel to others that use the "mental health trend" to get views, while this is one of the few channels that actually tried to take this topic seriously as it should be. In a platform so saturated like KZbin, putting a professional spreading their work online and random video makers in the same bag is kinda worrisome.

[@valentine12311985]

CPTSD is common among survivors of childhood emotional abuse as well. Repeated, consistent threatening and abusive frameworks instill the ptsd traits into these survivors. Difficulty with relationships, feeling of deep despair and hopelessness. A child exposed to this upbringing is akin to a war zone experience

[@eyeswideshut7354]

Thats exactly right. Chronic trauma from adverse environments will take its toll on a person.

[@TheGhostChicks]

You cannot understand my joy right now at all these comments about child abuse or sexual abuse. How it can cause CPTSD. I have CPTSD from sexual abuse and emotional/verbal child abuse. Thank you I don’t know how to explain my gratitude.

[@sideeffect1003]

Allie Lyn - well said, I agree.

[@chloweful]

I'm from Canada and I have been diagnosed with both PTSD and complex PTSD recently. I hate how when many people always go right to "veterans!" When speaking about PTSD. It's frustrating. There is no videos / awareness videos on rape victims with PTSD and complex PTSD. Everything you mentioned.. The disassociation, the lack of control over emotions, flashbacks ect ect. I deal with every day. And night.

[@chloweful]

+Ex Amatullah Long term sexual abuse is what I meant like multiple times.

[@PricemoSC]

+chloweful So much agree. I have been hit by 2 cars, mugged and left for dead, numerous head injuries = TBI, PTSD + complex and depression. Im not a Vet, much respect to them, but FFS, so many other people suffer from this. Its frustrating to see/hear anything related to PTSD as "combat related and vets" there are us regular folks who are unfortinate enough to live this day in and day out..

[@howlingwaters2741]

chloweful There are plenty- just search *civilian*

[@nicklampitt3970]

chloweful feeling your pain

[@RavensongVA]

I agree with you completely. I deal with the same things.

[@theresatrauger5241]

I was surprised she said "coming back from war" and not "childhood abuse".

[@MedievalMeredith]

Exactly. I do feel she's wrong with making that statement and it makes the rest of the video a little biased. I'm missing some key features of c-ptsd. Like the trauma has to have occurred in the formative years, for an extensive period of time, by someone you're in a caregiving relationship with, and the most important one: there's no way out. Weird....I might be wrong though

[@bgarbled]

Thank you - my point exactly. I got that sinking feeling. Very hard to try to help others see you in right light when person finally explaining CPTSD keeps saying 'when you are in warzone blah blah' -person ur trying to finally open up to &let in gives you that (painful) eye roll,and from that point on their feeling confirmed that ur just a drama queen gets reinforced 20x & they will likely never even listen to u again. I'm STILL searching for something I can send to someone that explains & encompasses/validates our truths & the facts to others.. then again I could show them my diagnosis from 4 psychologist/specialists/dr.s and they think I fooled them all somehow.. unless I have blood gushing from both eyes, it's something not only in my control, but all in my head. People i know seem to have ZERO ability empathy.. an issue that only grows with the misunderstandings & misleading info out there.

[@Dubsackjack]

+satanic kitty. Torture, I had never thought of it like that, but that's really what it was, wasn't it. Is it any wonder then, why I would hate so much.

[@watchmansmitty1]

Funny. Combat vets don't whine about rape victims, car crash survivors, or abuse victims with C-PTSD. Never happens. Many PTSD group therapy sessions will have a mix of survivors of various scenarios. Because PTSD is like a language learned for many reasons. Everyone with C-PTSD understands everyone else with C-PTSD, no matter where or why they learned that language. And whining about ones particular origin story over someone else's just isn't done. In fact, that's generally a sure sign that someone is completely full of shit. We can spot a bullshitter in a second. It would be like trying to fool recovering alcoholics in an AA meeting. Not going to happen; because recovering alcoholics, whether they're 21 or 81 speak the same language. But, mainly, it's just extremely disrespectful for a fucking cry baby to take a big fat shit on people like me and my brothers/sisters who got this way because we're better than you; and we live a life of past good deeds continuously and relentlessly being punished. Now grow the fuck up!

[@ovawsm]

Christopher Smith, I see how this could feel like that but as a victim of childabuse/torture I suffer from the same issues as those who got traumatised in the war. Now we both suffer from the same shit however I am not able to get a special needs/ptsd dog and those who served are. This is just one of many examples where we who did not serve get screwed over therefore making it quite understandable that we get annoyed with people who always connect c-ptsd with veterans. We are forgotten, and that hurts. Obviously we too understand that veterans are not to blame for that and we don't, but I think we do have the right to tell the world we are here too and we suffer from the same thing. Also and I cannot stress this enough, the fact that you served does not make you a better human being than anyone else.

[@dakotan.2610]

I've been formally diagnosed with complex-post traumatic stress disorder, but it's often a very frightening process to mention it. The first thing people say? They jokingly mention that I haven't been to war. No, I haven't been to war, you are correct. Good job. But, even when it was severe psychological trauma (repeated for years) I developed a brain that was only necessary for survival. I have episodes where it feels like I cannot move my body and I'm stuck in this place I thought I escaped from. It makes you feel psychotic, it makes things seem unreal, and makes you question everything. It makes it seem like it's just yourself being stupid, or selfish. It's a very difficult thing. But, if our society sheds more light on these topics, perhaps more research can be done. I do believe that DBT is mostly helpful in these situations, we need more information.

[@theliftexpert]

Dakota ....You have been at WAR kiddo ....the trauma caused ,is due to an event or events that have hurt you on a deep emotional level . Our brain is designed to store information to keep us safe and react at the speed of light to avoid danger and survive. The great news is “you did survive “ and you can now get the help you require from a good therapist to resolve the past ,live in a healthy present and never allow yourself to experience the old pattern again. 🙏

[@amandathompson4692]

I also get stuck and feel like I can't move my body. I think it's from the fight, flight or often left out freeze. When we can't get away or fight back, our minds make us go into freeze mode. It's like an animal that has been caught by a predator and plays dead. I agree that it is frightening and feel so hopeless. Reaching out and connecting on here is a start though. Best wishes in your recovery.

[@madisondrew2966]

I was In my own flippin warzone as were you hun

[@NaginiRiddle]

I don't feel like I ever recover. This is my personality now.... Hundreds of traumatic events are... life. Thats life. ...

[@NazriB]

Lies again? MLS Student Debt

[@rekojehtmai]

child repeated verbal and emotional abuse led to my PTSD its hard to find information on PTSD that isnt about veterans... why is this?

[@TylerHurst]

Because not enough people like us have come forward, likely because we're terrified of destroying our families. It feels like stockholm syndrome to me. If you ever want to chat, my c-ptsd started early, too.

[@cvnf1745]

I completely agree. The ridiculous thing is, after years of suffering from abuse from a parent/guardian, now victims keep quiet to protect those who abused them because they're usually "family." It's a very difficult situation.

[@ovawsm]

Cecille De Jesus and when it wasn't the families who did it it's still nearly impossible to talk about because talking about it will hurt them which then hurts us again.

[@cvnf1745]

And don't forget the fact that people who know both you and that person will probably cry foul and say you are lying or making up stories.

[@Maltcider]

Society on the whole is extremely hierarchical, permissive of emotional abuse, and is ageist. All of which I think contribute to childhood emotional abuse symptoms being less publicly acknowledged.

[@harlequin75]

I am obsessed with revenge. For me, to see the other person live out their karma is so important. I need to see - otherwise I feel I will never recover.

[@youngpatrick29]

Ahh but the other person already lived out there pain or still are. otherwise they wouldnt have hurt you

[@lilthrall]

honestly, same. I live my life doing all the things my father said I'd never be able to do. I need to be more successful than him so he sees how full of shit he is.

[@harlequin75]

I wrote my comment about 3 months ago. It so happened that a few days/weeks after, I came across an article discussing this topic. The premise was that the longer we wait for and seek retribution in some fashion, the more we stay stuck. It was suggesting to let it pass. It does work. No contact is also important.

[@her8985]

harlequin75 your comment literally gave me an epiphany regarding myself. Thank you.

[@katejackson6502]

Been there! I enjoyed my moms suffering for years! Her boyfriend even commited suicide when she broke up with him and i thought yep thats what you get! Karma! 12 years I didn't have any contact.... now that she has cancer i made contact to find out that she has been in intensive therapy and has healed so much of herself.... it was time to let it go!

[@amandawild8522]

I feel like I'm fucked. I want my life back, but the idea of fighting for it is exhausting.

[@karenraychel]

Amanda Wild My exact thoughts

[@nicklampitt3970]

Amanda Wild i know exeactly what u r saying

[@SuperShandy777]

Jesus loves u very much

[@Angel_Peg]

Same

[@yg.6840]

How are you today

[@dalhar20]

I definitely have c-ptsd. Extreme emotional outbursts, constant feelings of powerlessness, feelings of resentment towards abuser, isolation, everything feels pointless.

[@maevequinn4127]

Further, there needs to be distinguishing between CPSD originating from child abuse/neglect and later onset CPSD. The former interferes with development in a way that the latter does not. It is an entirely different trauma experienced for someone has a pre-ill self to recall and heal themselves back to, and someone who does not. Sorry, but I find it frustrating that you focussed so much on vets in this video. I disagree that war vets are most affected. I would argue that people who have suffered child abuse/neglect are more far more prone, because their identity is formed in trauma and key elements making this condition differ from PTSD are related to malformations and distortions of identity.

[@ivyarianrhod]

+maeve quinn YES!!!!!

[@MrFire4effect]

I argee!

[@psu893]

+maeve quinn 100%

[@micheleroberts7230]

+maeve quinn Thank you so much. I've run into this problem while reading about healing from PTSD where they talk about your "former self". My self before the abuse was a baby! How can I even remember that self? I've had to explain to people that why I have the feelings and pain I have is because the abuse is an integral part of my development, that I never got to know normalcy or mental healthiness in any way. My wiring was screwed by them while it was still being formed.

[@TheDreamz]

+maeve quinn Exactly! How can we reintegrate back into a life that we never properly began?

[@loverrlee]

I can relate to this. But I wasn't physically or sexually abused. I just felt really isolated because I had a mother who was mentally ill and she shouldn't have been allowed to keep me and my sisters. But now I find it difficult to trust anyone, even my fiancé who has been nothing but loving to me. I always self isolate, even when I need social interaction the most. The other day I even stayed in my room when my fiancé and my sister and roommate were all having fun in the living room because I was scarred to meet their two friends because I didn't know them and felt like I'd instantly be judged harshly for introducing myself to them. :(

[@valmatt4112]

OMG!! Thank you so much for sharing! I can relate SOOO MUCH to no sexual abuse, well, I was Raped once, and when I finally told my mother, she said "no you didn't" and turned and walked away!!! ..or physical abuse. And I believe, after doing a lot of research on Covert Narcissists came to a conclusion. and when you started from 'the other day...staying in your room b/c scared to meet new people due to feeling Instantly Judged Harshly...omg, that is me!!! I thought, honestly, I was the only person on the face of this earth to feel that way!!! I am starting to see a new therapist, could I please show her your post!! Also, please KNOW THIS: I am sooo sorry for your pain. and please know, you can get through this feeling!

[@loverrlee]

Val Matt Of course you can share this post with her if that would help you! It is public after all, and I'd be happy to know my simple words are helping another person. I can't afford therapy right now but know I really need it. I have had a lot of bad experiences I need counseling on. Mostly I want to know what is valid/normal feelings and what aren't, because at this point in my life I honestly don't know anymore. I don't know if I'm the one reacting strangely to normal things, or if I'm the only normal one surrounded by other people's problems. You know?? lol But anyways I hope you get the help you need. Take care.

[@JaydenWantz]

I grew up in a household with parents with one parent with schizophrenia/bipolar and another who was too depressed to really parent. It is common for children of parents with mental illness and/addiction to feel that way. But you can get help! Therapy from a knowledgeable provider was really helpful for me. Look into DBT especially and attachment theory.

[@mr.general.dr.detectiveins2707]

I feel so scared to have children because I'm "mentally ill" and I would never want to hurt someone like I was hurt.

[@patricegriffin2828]

loverrlee I thought I was alone in these feelings

[@brendaplumley4491]

As a survivor of repeated violent childhood abuse (that lasted until I was able to escape in my early 20s), this really helps a lot in understanding Complex PTSD

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

I hear you.

[@charlieanne2772]

In my experience, a lot of people who would be better described as having C-PTSD are stuck with three different diagnoses when they could just have one - BPD, dissociation and PTSD. At least that's how it was for me. I actually think a lot of people with BPD could actually have C-PTSD, as the symptoms are similar and many people with BPD grew up in an unstable household where they were victims of abuse, or they witnessed it.

[@kr1221E]

I'm BPD and my shrink said its tied in with it.

[@kr1221E]

Actually my psychitrist said I had chronic ptsd from years of abuse, but the english official psych thingjig doesn't recognise it in the same way it recognises ptsd caused by one-off events. I think that is deliberate, so that loads of chronically people who've been abused get ignored, but my psychiatrist said that EUPD is the new name for Borderline here in the UK and that chronic PTSD is 'in with' EUPD, which stands for Emotionally Unstable PErsonality Disorder. I asked for Borderline investigation 7yrs ago and 5yrs ago and was FOBBed off both times, I knew I had it, I've been self harming since I was 2-3yrs old, normal 2-3yr olds dont self harm in the way I did, but I've had to live with untreated borderline for nearly 50yrs and all the psych meds I've tried made me worse, plus added side effects, despitte me giving each tablet at least 6mths to try out, and they were all horrrible to come off, I weaned off slowly, but had problems, extra aggitation, extra self harm, extra depression, extra anxiety, swollen ankles so bad, I had trouble walking by 8-9pm on a night and had to put my feet up, plus other physical side efffects, that if I listed would make this post too long to read.

[@charliemackenzie-nash5707]

+LucyPrettyPinkPony I didn't say everyone with C-PTSD had BPD or vice versa, but it is an important thing to recognise that many people with BPD diagnoses are survivors of complex childhood trauma.

[@JaydenWantz]

Many people with C-PTSD are misdiagnosed with bipolar or BPD due to issues with emotional dysregulation that can be part of many different diagnoses. Although it is possible for some people to have both a mood disorder and personality disorder or C-PTSD. Trauma and stress can also increase the risk of developing mental illness so many people have co-occurring disorders. There is definitely a need for both the public and mental health providers to be educated on the differences otherwise people may not get the treatment they need.

[@JaydenWantz]

Going up in a household that is invalidating has also been linked to development of borderline personality disorder. www.verywell.com/invalidating-environment-contributor-to-bpd-425186 Dr. Marsha Linehan who developed the leading treatment for BPD called DBT has written extensively on the topic if anyone is interested in getting more information.

[@manfagel]

Diagnosed with Chronic Complex PTSD and thrown out of healthcare... in sweden. Feels so awsome to be labelled *worthless* even by the psychiatry... Every day is a huge struggle and no one can understand, and i cant let them even see a fragment on how i really feel. So i isolate, i hide, i lash out in anger and i withdraw. Its horrible.

[@jakobsvendsenwilkens951]

SBr någonting säger mig att det finns något du inte berättar för oss här...

[@colleenmccluskey4]

I suffer from complex PTSD from childhood and adolescent emotional abuse, and it's difficult. I'm very glad you're helping to spread the word about it.

[@Sunset553]

like many other people, my traumatizing situations started at the beginning of my life, so there is no going back to a way we were before. I don't trust. The biggest part of what you talked about that fit is that my treatment has focused on interpersonal issues, but i don't know what i'd be like without the fear, distrust, or the nightmares. thanks for the videos.

[@mr.general.dr.detectiveins2707]

I'd rather be at school (where I was harassed) than at home where I was safe. Honestly I hate school but so many people ask why I love it when in reality I just want to be needed and That's the only place where I knew at least someone was pleased with me.

[@truthseeker3503]

the problem I have with clinicians is they may know the txt book symptoms of these disorders but they sure as hell don't know what it's like to live with them physically! a one shoe fits all treatment does not work!

[@nicklampitt3970]

Simon wadsley no one belived me from 21 yrs old till i was 38

[@falconb8t750]

Doesn't help that they also created the content in those textbooks that they study and pass down as fact to others. Now everyone "has a disorder and is not normal". Literally almost everyone today thinks they have something wrong with them (at least in western society).

[@ednagail]

Some of them may very well have suffered abuse as a child or a veteran or suffered trauma. A one size fits all mentality also does not apply to therapist either.

[@karagraham9764]

Simon wadsley Ouch yikes. Truth be told they aren’t supposed to share their own personal experiences with you very much bc the treatment is supposed to be about you but you have every right to continue trying to find a therapist who works better with you and the issues you want to work on. Hope you found one that is a better fit.

[@jlnioannou]

Agree!

[@mickyspudd1295]

Thank you. Yes I'm diagnosed with this myself - I live in the UK and it's recognised as a severe impairment. My story - brutally gang raped by grown men at the age of 8. I crawled home, literally, and tore finger nails out to get there. My dad was working very long hours and rarely saw me - my mother got me in the house and hid me from the world till my physical injuries were basically hidden and looked like typical childhood injuries. Dad didn't see them. I told my mother what happened and she did nothing. My brother saw me (almost the same age) and tells me one ear was almost torn off and I was bitten deeply from head to toe and bleeding everywhere - my mind has hidden most of the trauma from me. Long story short I got on with life after that. Sure I struggled but still did well at school. Relationships don't last and my life is now a mess (I'm 49) I've self harmed and attempted suicide (cries for help) but no-one came. My parents split when I was 10 and I made the mistake of living with my mother.. For my whole life she's not recognised me. I had Zero, and I mean Zero, support. Not allowed to attend college etc and constantly talked down or disowned - I clammered and bent over backwards to be good but it was always tore down in front of me - even to this date and with my brother backing me she refuses to believe I got good grades and have achieved so much in life. Heck you would think I wasn't her child. But.. not even a stranger would behave like she has towards a child. I've received psychiatric support for 19 years now and for most of it was misdiagnosed as mild depression. I was ordered to take many many different medications but none helped. It took a specialist team to sit down with me (5 of them in one sitting) to realise just what the problem is. I've severe depression but also MASS PTSD. Great - finally someone understood! But - the county where I live has a 2 year waiting list for treatment. It's madness. If I did a crime and was sent to prison I'd get the help I need. No - I'm better than that and will wait. The bad thing now though is that because this is so deep rooted in me it's doubtful that it will actually work (EMDR - the last and only thing that's not yet been tried). Of course I'm going for it - I would never rest and accept it if I didn't. The brutal attack wasn't reported until about 4 years ago. All parties (those I could remember but there were more at the event) involved were interviewed by detectives. Lots of friends I'd told at the time too. The police have decided there's no evidence (those responsible are cowards) and yes - my mother has denied I was ever attacked.. When I saw my mother after she'd been interviewed she screamed at me that she was having a harder time than me at the time which is rubbish. She's a bad mother, a bad parent and a bad person. I saw my dad after he'd been interviewed and he asked if I was ok. That shows I went to live with the wrong parent when they split.. A very long write up and I apologise for it. Call it a way of venting things but it may hep someone. I'm (probably) beyond help now but I've made it to 49 - others can too. It's never easy and you never forget. Triggers are everywhere and fire at random. Panic attacks are awful - it's not the heavy breathing you commonly see on TV - I land back at the attack. I relive it every day, many times a day, and it never eases. Even now I can see my mother being abusive to me. My brain has never processed and let go of the events and they're as real as this pc in front of me. Full colour, every word, every strike, temperature, the lot. Me now? Disabled through two separate accidents and basically can't do a thing except try my best not to slip back into a hole. Anyone who has suffered - please, get help as soon as possible. You won't forget but I guarantee that you'll have a better life for it. :)

[@rainbow7217]

Being raised in a cult=CPTSD.

[@reesecup3ify]

BLESS YOU! I couldn't agree more! I was raised JW and shunned/rejected by my entire family and left for dead. It's been 17 years but this experience has been so ongoing and pervasive, affecting so much of my life, i wonder if i can EVER truly recover.

[@rainbow7217]

+Benihana Kitty I also was raised a JW. I feel you will get there. Some of my best therapy is the solace of nature. It is raw and real. I really have had to focus on healing my blood sugar and Lars Clausen ICE method help me greatly for triggers. He has videos on KZbin. You can do it or you would not be here! Love and Blessings on this crazy journey!

[@zain4019]

Annie Vautour you will be okay, just believe it.

[@daughteroftheking5700]

So true 😔 my heart goes out to anyone who deal with this om a daily basis ❤

[@madisondrew2966]

Yes 100%

[@Sikizu]

I was bullied from the age of 5 to 11 from a girl my age, and it turned into physical abuse when we were both 7. It happened everyday, and I couldn't escape it, so I began to dissociate. I even have a few fragments that helped me (and still do occasionally) because I couldn't cope at all. I repressed the memory of her choking me to almost black-out (which also triggered an out of body experience) on the playground until 10 years after it happened. I used to have the most horrible flashbacks at school, but I didn't know what they were, and my teachers didn't either. My teachers also told me to not talk about my bullying. I thought that my role in life was to help other people by being their sandbag. I made my first honest friends in middle school, where I realized for the first time that people could actually enjoy my company. My list of diagnosis are selachophobia, misophonia, DDNOS, maladaptive daydreaming, and CPTSD. Just thought you should know that CPTSD can happen from prolonged, severe bullying as well.

[@sta090806]

I am a woman who was raped by someone I knew at 24 (now I'm 47). For the next two and a half years after the incident he threatened me with both violence and exposure (telling folks it was my idea) so I continued to allow him to sexually and emotionally abuse me.It took 13 years before I actually acknowledged that it happened - I totally blocked it out. Since then I've been hospitalized 6 times, diagnosed with depression, bipolar, panic disorder, ptsd...been on and off meds. My point it is I totally get the loss of self that occurs from trauma. I have no passions in live, I pretty much exist. I have a menial job (although I have two college degrees), part time. My life is forever changed. And worst of all I blame myself for all of it, I feel defective. I isolate from others because I feel embarrassed at the whole thing. My innocence and optimism was lost because of what happened to me. Anyway, thanks for this video, it is very insightful.

[@daughteroftheking5700]

Thank you for sharing so boldly 💗 you are couragous to 😊 I can relate with all you write esp. With the shame and thinking that it was my fault. I was raped and went to the police and rapported it one year later. They desided to drop the case bc lack of evidence. So I felt that they did not believe me. And someone close in my family told me it was my fault. So this was a narcissist that had contolled and manipulated me over several years, I believed them for some time 😔 How are you doing now? Are you able to sleep well? 💗

[@slothsluht]

In my experience, growing up in disadvantaged neighborhoods can do this too. Child neglect, frequent violence of many kinds, proximity to substance abuse, food instability and housing insecurity can all be prolonged, daily trauma. When considering class and race structures, this is incredibly important to include.

[@rebeccaa.3121]

Totally agree. I think the effects of racism are completely ignored in psychology.

[@Chasing70]

This happened to me. I am getting better. I had to isolate myself. Not speak with people, etc. I had extreme anger outbursts. My son emotionally abused me for the last 8 years. I grew up with Narcissist parents. There seems to be stages of healing. I can not find people educated in my area on this disorder I have. I educate myself daily in order to heal, by listening to podcasts & audible books. Thanks Katie!

[@CookisLove]

I was diagnosed with BPD but now I'm pretty sure i actually have complex PTSD and not Boderline Personality Disorder... I'm not positive and I don't want to diagnose myself with anything but I've done a lot of research and it feels a lot more like me. The diagnosis of BPD just never felt right. It's such a huge relieve to know this is an actual thing...

[@Olga-xb9yh]

Thank you for the video!!Could you ,please , make a video about Complex PTSD from childhood , during identity development? I struggle with finding who I'm ....

[@erinm3567]

Yes same here!

[@RahiVaidya]

After 21 years of life, I finally know what is wrong with me. Thank you Katy.

[@MakeBPDStigmaFree]

BPD and C-PTSD seem very similar to each other. I've heard of people being misdiagnosed as one or the other. I've heard of people being diagnosed as having BPD instead of C-PTSD because the latter isn't in the DSM. Both disorders involve emotion dysregulation. I would like to know more about BPD and C-PTSD and how they relate to each other.

[@pnblyons]

Thanks for sharing this. That is a very interesting observation. I have been diagnosed with having BPD and also PTSD. Your right seems like BPD and C-PTSD are kinda similar. I also have major depression and anxiety as well.

[@lindseyluna13]

Make BPD Stigma-Free! BPD? Does that mean bipolar disorder? Because I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but I started to do research on CPTSD and realized that I really matched the symptoms. I ended up addressing my trauma and now my "bipolar" symptoms have gone away and I wonder if I was just misdiagnosed. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 13 years ago and I don't think PTSD was really discussed back then.

[@kerriwolfton3195]

Lindsey Luna BPD = Borderline Personally Disorder, has some similar traits to Bipolar but not episodic. ( don’t mind my $5 words, I have Bipolar and BPD, PTSD , Anxiety and S.A.D and have done lots of research on mental illness, all forms of it not just what I have)

[@unluckyomen13]

I have C-PTSD with borderline traits...

[@MostlyCloudy]

I've definitely related most to both of these. Its made it difficult to put a name to what I'm experiencing.

[@silverbroom02]

Thank you for making this video! This doesn't get any airtime because it's not a DSM-approved diagnosis, which only serves to exacerbate that feeling of aloneness. And PTSD (simple or complex) seems rarely discussed except for in the cases of war veterans or survivors of natural disasters or genocides, which I think leaves many suffering people feeling as though their experiences are of lesser impact or importance. I have suffered from complex trauma/complex PTSD since infancy (only "diagnosed" and started being treated for it a year and a half ago). While there was physical abuse, I'm not really sure how that's affected me. I'm also not sure to what extent it was present, except that there was one incident that landed me in hospital and in isolation for three days, at 9 months of age, with first and second degree burns on one third to half of my body. I HAVE to say that the emotional abuse and emotional neglect have been by far the worst, and my therapist, who specializes in treating complex trauma, has told me that this is often true, even in cases where there was a ton of physical and/or sexual abuse: the emotional stuff is often the hardest to deal with. Lots of other prolonged and repeated emotional traumas were piled on throughout my childhood and adolescence... and even continue now, really, because I'm not emotionally equipped to deal with much when it comes to interpersonal stuff, feeling like a very young child so much of the time and everything feels traumatizing! They all tend to follow the same sorts of "themes," even though on the surface they may seem very different. The emotional flashbacks themselves are often re-traumatizing if not met with a corrective experience. In the beginning of the therapy process, I was in such a young state that the ONLY thing that helped was being held by my therapist. (I promise it was ok.) So that's what we did, and it helped move me forward because THAT'S what I needed. I'm better now than I was (thanks to a gazillion hours of therapy* with an amazing therapist -- *not that much of an overstatement). But I still have a long way to go and it's still so hard. Even though I don't really know any different. And in the past especially, it was absolutely excruciating, beyond intolerable. Overwhelming despair, desperation, hopelessness, helplessness, no sense of self, feeling abandoned, feeling so separate and distant from everyone that I was honest-to-goodness afraid that I might just float away and die without even trying to. I also deal with measurable, physical illnesses including chronic fatigue and dysautonomia (dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system), which have built up and built up over time, and finally come to a head in the last few years, and now have me pretty much bed bound, unable to function, and feeling awful most of the time. I theorize that it was the relentless stress - every minute of every day of every year, never feeling relaxed and soothed - that have officially left me with a busted body. Anyway - I guess I have a lot to say on the topic! I hope this isn't the end of the conversation. And I hope that others can find some validation of their traumas, no matter how insignificant they or others think those traumas to be. Thanks again for addressing this, Kati.

[@jlnioannou]

Thank you for sharing your story! I also have Complex Ptsd. I struggle with it every day of my life. People who don't have it just don't understand...

[@megara0243]

I think the saddest thing I have heard out-loud from trauma patients is something along the lines is “I don’t remember a before, there wasn’t a before”

[@elfie780726]

I've been told I have this. For me the feeling of being different and just kind of alienated from the whole human kind has been the hardest part. (I don't mean better by different, just different.) And not just because of the traumatic childhood,but it feels like deeper down to the core kind of deep mental difference. I do let some people close, but it's very hard for me to feel understood. I often feel it's impossible for others to love me, because I'm too different, and I don't know if I have ever found a connection that was really deep the way I would want it to be. I don't really focus of the traumas all that much. Yes, I had a difficult childhood, but I don't know of any other kind of a childhood, and I can talk about it,but I couldn't really find it disturbing in a way my therapist and doctors expect me to. And that's really frustrating, because I feel like I can't give them,what they want of me: to find it less disturbing. And EMDR and trauma therapy just didn't work for me. Though PTSD is my diagnoses, I feel maybe C-PTSD probably has a lot in common with (at least in my case quiet) BPD.

[@taylorlien569]

These symptoms seem fairly fitting to the way I've felt through much of my older childhood. I was severely bullied from about ages 8-13ish, but throughout my schooling it's always been at least somewhat prevalent. I'm eighteen now and heading off to college, and I'm finally getting a chance to start over. With this, I've been thinking about what that means and a big part of me has a lot of anxiety about once again being thrown into a new social situation when the last major time that happened was a disaster.

[@livelife5947]

This video is not helpful at all tbh, CPTSD sufferers are abuse victims e.g childhood abuse, domestic violence & narcissistic abuse survivors. It’s specifically sustained abuse that happens within relationships over a prolonged period of time. Revenge fantasies, flashbacks, anxiety, depression, self isolation, mood swings, disassociation, Stockholm syndrome, codependency, major trust issues are all common symptoms. “It’s pretty much the same as PTSD” uh no it’s not, it’s complex.

[@ang_ro]

This comment. 👏👏👏 This video is infuriating. She doesn't know wtf she is talking about.

[@LauraLeeD]

100% this comment 👏👏 I have CPTSD, she hasn't explained this properly or thoughtfully at all.

[@IbarraAlejandro]

Yes. she don't know what she's talking about. in this video she's wrong.

[@jenscott2057]

I love the fact that you explained all your information in "english" I could understand and share with someone who would also! Thank you!!!

[@suzsiz]

I think most people with C-PTSD are from trauma from childhood or being in abusive relationships and you should have focused on that, instead of vets.

[@dreamgirl_evil]

!!!!! This

[@whenpigsfly3271]

Yes. And when you get wise to the causes and effects of C-PTSD you begin to notice it in parents, siblings and others close to you... none of them in the military. Side note: The first PTSD triggering event in the military is boot camp. You are subjected to extremely stressful situations and of the hard wired fight, flight, freeze, or fawn coping mechanisms, you are systematically deprived of all but the fight response.

[@lithium2beryllium]

Thank you so much for being you. This channel has become apart of my daily routine. You have given me hope to live with bipolar disorder.

[@wabbitinateapot]

When I researched the topic, I was under the impression that the term cPTSD was in fact in the DSM. I'm shocked to hear you explain that it was actually refused!!! No wonder my therapists in my French town didn't know about this - they probably studied from the official French translation of the DSM... I had to explain to them about the term, and told them the french translation which I found on an independent psychiatry center. Our term for it is ''Troubles psychotraumatiques complexes.'' as in ''complex psycho-traumatic disorders'' - in the plural form. I found both in English and French that the definition includes prolonged trauma. In my case : -Witnessing domestic violence for nearly 20 years in both households I lived in (though I repressed all memories pertaining to the first one) - Suffering through severe psychological, emotional, and physical abuses (especially during 3 quarters of that duration) - Prolonged exposure and experience in a religious cult, with increasing religious duties and punishments as I aged from a toddler to ''maturity'' I really hope that the DSM-VI will incorporate c-PTSD and expand its therapy. It has to be acknowledged - and maybe through the persistant usage and lobbying by therapists such as yourself, it could be achieved, eventually. Thank you for your vids, they are quite informative :)

[@nicolew8868]

Me, me, me, me and me. I knew I had PTSD, but it just didn’t feel like the diagnosis fit. I’m really glad I found this and I’m sitting here crying. Thank you so much for this.

[@ALifeLearned]

Thank you SO MUCH for making this video Kati! I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, even though it isnt fully recognized, and thus, I really appreciate your help in bring a better understanding to the condition and the fact that it does need to be added to the DSM - you make a lot of good points about how it differs, and thus, needs to be recognized for its differences. One thing my therapist has told me that is notable about complex ptsd is that it seems to develop most often in people who have had attachment injuries that had existed before the actual trauma - often rooting back to their childhood in some way. To my understanding, this is why some people can go through very similar traumas, but not develop the condition (because they have healthier attachment styles, vs those who do develop the condition) I actually did a video about PTSD too, but my goal was to bring attention to the fact that this condition does actually happen to people other then veterans; so with that, I just wanted to thank you further for mentioning that it can develop from many other traumas outside of combat! There is unfortunately a community of people who sadly shame anyone who says that they have the condition, but arent from the military; so having someone like yourself bring attention to that fact is really helpful to the issue overall! I really hope you do more videos about CPTSD in the future! :)

[@karamay8449]

My understanding is also that a distinguishing feature of the kinds of prolonged traumas that result in C-PTSD symptoms is an inability to escape the situation, which often times means a dependence on an individual in the case of prostituted women, domestic violence etc. and can be especially detrimental in cases where the oppressor is the primary care giver to a child xx

[@ezpz7143]

As a survivor of what I endured my whole complete childhood. I would agree with every point that you make in this video. Thank you for Taking the time to do this for us !

[@perpetuallyhumanable]

***** this was hard for me to watch, it hit so close to the bone.I think the impact of complex trauma is widely under-recognised and misunderstood and is often mistaken for other mental illnesses. For me one of the biggest barriers to recovery is that feeling of not being the same/disconnection/being fundamentally flawed or bad. It feels like I'm trying to build a house without foundations and no matter how hard I try it just crumbles because my sense of self/reality is so fragmented. It is very frustrating! Thank you for talking about this as always you are great! To start addressing a problem it has to be acknowledged :) X

[@silverbroom02]

perpetuallyhumanable Those are really, really great explanations of how complex PTSD can feel. I can certainly relate! I think it can gradually get better with proper help though, if that's of any comfort.

[@chersmith7441]

You are the most down to earth person that I have ever seen on here that talks about these things. I wish so bad I could come see you and have you as my doctor . So many other people are so condescending and unapproachable-the other people on here that discuss all these different topics. Just wanted to say thank you so much for posting all of this. Wish I had found you sooner like way sooner lol Can't afford to pay to go to any doctor so youtube and reading on my own is all I have. And you actually respond to people and answer questions... that's so wonderful and rare on here

[@MsPrecious61]

I just found you page. Thank you for you willingness to research and actually id and verify CPTSD. I can tell you, being raised with neglect and abuse, that as a child, you are developing in every area of your life. It is like school. Little ones are sponges. All the stress and anxiety, the negative words become a way of life, a belief. If you are called dumb, then a child believes that. My deep anxiety came from never having approval. Being never enough. I was never told anything positive from my family-nothing! As I went before the world-job, anything, I basically apologized for me even entering a room. My whole being was not enough. I am one huge mistake. God messed up big time with me. Yet, with my family-He hit his jackpot. As an adult I am learning more truth daily. I have detached from the the negative people now. I still have health anxiety when I go to the dr and my blood pressure has taken a hit most my life. I am now on meds and have to detach from anything that triggers anxiety. I am on anti-anxiety meds too, just because I need time to relearn. Thanks for reading and God bless you.

[@teeo3044]

Thanks for the compassionate video Kati, this one rang true for me in a lot of ways. When one experiences trauma that is very different to what the average person in their community/peer group experiences it can be very isolating. It feels like no one will ever be able to relate and it would worry them if we told them. One of my skilled Psychologists I was working with a while back noticed that I was protecting others by bottling up the trauma as I thought it could upset or worry other people due to being so non relatable to them. That’s why professional help and talking with a trusted professional who has the skills to ‘hold the space’ so to speak was really valuable to me.

[@wolfferoni]

I think it might be time to make an updated video. There's a bpd vs cptsd video that much better explains cptsd but I think it deserves its own separate redo.

[@roxannmoore5323]

This is so needed. Please let others not only those who have served our country but those of domestic violence & childhood abuse hear this so they too have avenues of healing!!!

[@dianeemm423]

Another interesting fact. both forms of PTSD are classified as severe anxiety disorders... PETE WALKER folks..... he has amazing insight as a C-PTSD different himself.... we can find healing and peace...

[@Jasper-or7ui]

I have so much to say right now, but the only thing I can manage is a big thank you for posting this. It gave me more information about what I'm going through and how to help myself. Thank you

[@EmmaCupcake]

Such an amazing and insightful video, U have basically just described me and how I think and feel in so many ways, I have been diagnosed with PTSD although mine was a repeated trauma (childhood sexual abuse ages 8-14) The shame, the embarrassment the fact I don't know how to itergrate back into the world I feel so isolated and different from everyone. I'm not the same. What happened to me has ruined me. It's there in my mind 24/7, but I am trying so so so hard to change I push myself so hard. I'm making myself go out and try new things, I'm making new friends, I'm not letting my panic attacks and anxiety stop me because I'm stronger than that. Iv lost so much of my life already to what happened to me and I've tried to push it down and forget it or get over it but deep down I've been so fucked and broken iv been in so much pain in my heart I want to be normal. It's helped that some of the things u were saying I can really relate to, like u were describing me deep down and my thoughts. It makes me feel less alone and helpless. Iv come along way but still have a long way to go but I am working so hard and I won't let this beat me xx

[@Drstrange3000]

Emma Cupcake You're so strong! I will push through right with you. Somethings I think, we made it this far, so we might as well keep pushing. It is exhausting though. Like rolling a barrel up a steep hill.I hope you get to where you want to be!

[@loversarelunatics]

+Emma Cupcake i feel like ive lost so much of my life too. its so hard to look back and accept it. but now its time to look forward and make the most of the time i have left

[@ZenithAstrology]

Thats odd, mine makes me have 0 close friends, and 0 birthday parties. Ive NEVER had an adult birthday, not one and im 36, I trust mostly no one but my mate, and half sisters. I had one parent, I might have trusted, that helped cause a lot of it, but she died in 2002.

[@leahk.]

Emma Cupcake same here. Outside I am trying so hard to use therapy tools and get better. Inside I wonder how long more can I survive till I die and a struggle quietly just to exist or be around people. I feel no one can truly understand this struggle I carry. So I am misread when I react. But I keep on pushing forward. Ugh. Just a note: I was in an abusive marriage 30+ years before I found the strength to decide its time to leave.

[@maybelikealittlebit]

Thank you kati. You've given me a positive outlook on my behaviours. I know why I related to PTSD but it wasn't quite fitting. This explains how I've felt since I was a kid. I'm so glad to be able to take a deep breath and just progress with my mental health now that I have more clarity on my feelings. Thank you. I feel less alone. 💖

[@TinaSommer72]

Thank you for your videos....how do I get my fiance to understand that there is a reason I can't hold a job and that I am not lazy and using and abusing him. I am going through some hard times and he just keeps reminding me that he is making all the money and paying for the bills... I feel so worthless that I want to just disappear.

[@maryxoxo9]

Explain that you want to start therapy.. I've been able to hold jobs with no problem but am deathly afraid of relationships and will not be in one. He has no right to make you feel bad about not being able to do something

[@TylerHurst]

I'm doing the same thing and it's really hard. My wife is working hard and being supportive. I wish you the best.

[@TinaSommer72]

Tyler Hurst ... I am so happy to hear that I am not the only one that is going through this. I would love to keep in touch with you as a support that truly understands.

[@TylerHurst]

Please do. [e-mail]

[@Evajeanfreedom]

I hate to say it, but he doesn't sound supportive, he sounds quite abusive actually. I was with someone narcissistic for 2 years and it made my trauma symptoms a thousand times worse... he was retraumatising me almost constantly, and I had to get away from him in order to start healing again xx

[@anthonyramirez7272]

I’m doing this for personal reasons, but Complex PTSD symptoms 1. Affective Instability 2. Severe/Intense Dissociation 3. Cognitive Distortions & Social Withdrawal 4. Vengeful Rumination/Delusions regarding the Self or the Trauma Perpetrator 5. Interpersonal Relationship Impairment 6. Chronic Sense of Hopelessness I also want to comment that I feel like I have Complex PTSD. I didn’t feel it until I watched this video. Thanks for all you do, Kati! You’re absolutely wonderful :0)

[@extremesecrecy]

What about Complex PTSD when the person when through their whole life without treatment and does not think it has any effect on their life? + EMDR is not working?

[@megancrouch6813]

Is EMDR doing anything? I may be working slowly or it may feel like it isnt working because things are not getting better or they are getting worse.

[@morindahoelzle559]

I want to thank you for making these videos, about the hard topics not everyone has space in themselves to talk about. I'm in a place in my life where I moved across the country, and my hard time trusting has made it difficult to find community again. I don't people in my life right now, and these videos help me feel less alone.

[@mackenziewainwright-oakes1564]

i get weird when i hear about PTSD because i have it, but i never fought in a war and i never put my life on the line ... not on purpose. My PTSD stems from sexual abuse and rape. i feel like i cant even say i have PTSD because of the stigma associated with the military.

[@unluckyomen13]

MacKenzie Wainwright - Oakes They are different situations but just as traumatic. We are all left with these memories that haunt us.

[@oroville12345]

I suffer from anxiety and depression and PTSD day in day out from Afghanistan thank you so much for the help and understanding.

[@mgclef]

Can c-ptsd be caused by several traumatic events and not just one?

[@jaklumen]

Yes. Such is VERY often a defining factor for cPTSD, especially compared to PTSD. Many traumatic events, especially during childhood and over a longer period of time.

[@TylerHurst]

Yes, it did for me. It's the prolonged stuff that makes it complex.

[@jamesgwara6864]

Marianne Vergara yes

[@jlnioannou]

Yes

[@pcclavier7198]

Thank you, Kati. Your video is definitely well worth sharing far and wide. I was introduced to the diagnosis last year, which was quite a beacon of light in a world gone dark. Unfortunately for me, and I'm sure for many other folks suffering with this dreadful slice of hell, many facets of life have deteriorated enough leaving us without access to competent therapists or help. For those who have essentially lost everything as a result of the trauma related isolation, trust-lessness, depression, hopelessness, etc..... they may only have access to county behavioral health clinics where you'll most likely have a pill shoved at you after a 15 minute consultation with a psychiatrist, and if you're really lucky you can pay a reduced rate (vs feeding yourself) to spend time trying to get help from a poorly qualified psychotherapist who has never heard of C-PTSD, but will gladly run off a copy of an article explaining PTSD. As if the feeling of hopelessness manifested on our own wasn't enough, trying to get help without the financial means to do so compounds the hopelessness 100 fold. Clarification: One of the things you listed in the video was "repeated physical or sexual abuse". Is there some reason why emotional abuse is not included in that? Liking, Sharing and Forwarding. Sincerely, PC

[@CalmnessHeartsease]

NO, once I heard you’re just about war I knew you were not informed enough

[@ladybug947]

Thank you for pointing out the importance of information that this isn’t just something that veterans get- long term domestic violence victims are a huge group especially for those who were in long term violence from a partner.

[@FindingoutWhoIam]

I honestly believe there should be a difference between diagnosis with those who serve in the military And those who are traumatized in some other way I believe PTSD should be for war vets And CPTSD should be for other traumatized people It's frustrating for me, And no my ptsd is not the same as anyone else's I've been in therapy for 5 years and on medication. Nothing has helped.

[@theliftexpert]

* Jessie * .....your heart is in the right place ,however all ptsd is caused by physical or emotional trauma to your memories and corresponding behaviours and reactions to your life afterwards. It doesn’t matter if your ptsd is from a war ,a sexual abuse,being physically violated,being in a natural disaster ,childhood neglect or abuse or whatever..... The brain is designed to respond at light speed ,to keep us safe and survive and it is recording and storing everything to always accomplish this task . The good news “you accomplished this” and survived your historic traumatic experiences. The other good news is all of us ptsd survivors can reconcile our own troubling traumatic events,resolve ,how and why they occurred,be proud that we survived them ,be proud we are clear on what happened and get the proper therapy to get our minds functioning calmly again. Try CBD oil,try emdr therapy and find a therapist that helps you push through further. I am on my 4th therapist now and each one helped me advance closer to my goal to become a calm ,high functioning person again. Good luck on your journey,stay safe and love who you are !🙏

[@montelo555]

I've special attachment when you say "Hey Everybody!!". Its the phrase and the voice to which my feelings of peace and serenity and hope is associated with. Your videos have been helpful to me for so long and I'm so thankful for that. Thanks.

[@candyluna2929]

I think I have this... I just got out of a 5 year relationship with a narcissist. I have to tell myself that not everyone is out to get me.

[@briannadent1487]

Thank you for making this video. I thought I had PTSD, but it never completely explained how I felt and what I was going through. But this opened my eyes and now I know that many people can deal with this and feel the same way, which makes me feel so much better. :)

[@lupen_rein]

Kati makes this look almost scary, while in actuality most sufferers of C-PTSD never hurt anybody but themselves. Revenge and aggression are mostly actually minor problems, if they even exist. I suffered from C-PTSD and i was a desperate bag of fear, numbness and emptiness, desperately begging people to end my life. I never once hurt someone. I was the guy who never stood up again and just tolerated everything that came towards me, while at the same time acting on my numerous fears. I was socially isolated and in fact have only this week started to solve this problem, 7 years after the original abuse had ended. My experiences made me an atheist, but my beliefs have stayed. (Loss of religious beliefs can in some instances also result in depression or even more and not just be the cause of it)

[@quazymodo3648]

They exist I have always wanted to get the bastard that abused me I've never been able to let it go I have exsposive anger that I dissociate away from so I don't threaten anybody I get confused and think other people are that person when dissociated especially if trigger words go off

[@belleomalley1022]

My therapist called this "complex trauma" and I didn't really understand it until I came across your video. But NOW it makes sense. I've always been told I'm sensitive, and I had a LOT of issues trying to regulate my emotions as a teen and I still get very easily overwhelmed like 0-100 so quick. I feel so relieved and understood now. I'm not a broken, dysfunctional human. I was hurt. All this is a manifestation of that hurt. And there is hope because there is therapy. Thank you so much, Katie! Can't wait to order your book on payday!

[@maxim3830]

Great job, really, really appreciate this vid and your willingness to talk beyond the "mainstream" thing. Now, does it make sense to wonder if a part of the people diagnosed with BPD (because that's in the DSM) would be better off with Complex PTSD as a diagnosis (for better treatment)?

[@Sassysakura1]

This video was very helpful for giving me advice about myself and better understand what I have.

[@KeepTheDoubleSpace]

I was abused all through my childhood. At 15 I was groomed by a pedophile in his 30s and empregnated through rape. I stayed with him for 12 years. 6 years after leaving I still live through it every day. It still rules my life. I have 2 children with this 'thing' and they live with him...something which I can't compute with what he did and who he is. I have complex PTSD. I've had very little help....just pills. I can't pay for help. I am remarried but feel like I've had the opportunity for a normal life stolen from me. My husband is there when I wake up screaming but he can't really help, not really.

[@lupen_rein]

+Vicky Kuhn I'm sorry for you

[@cherielowriehernandez6578]

I'm sorry this happened. I'm overcome with emotions by the similarity to what happened to me. I hope that each day brings more healing to you.

[@S.A.W34]

I think you are doing amazing work all these years. Even when you had you own bad days you talk about it on a real level. I'm as complex as you can get and I appreciate you being real. Anyway keep up the good work and thank you.

[@changeme8035]

repeated trauma. foster care, emotional abuse, homelessness etc.

[@Hippie_Chicken92]

Thaankyou so much for making this video, as someone who was diagnosed with PTSD at a young age, then I was diagnosed with BPD at 15/16, and then 4/5 years later was told no it's not BPD, it's cptsd! Thankyou for enlightening us and sharing more information when there isn't much.

[@sunireneangie1826]

I have CPTSD because i was raped by my ex bf 2 years ago. he raped me over and over again. i was 17 and dumb. I felt like if i told someone about it then people will think i am crazy and that i made it up. even after 2 years, i still have major trust issues. I now have a wondrful bf who is super understanding and loves me so so much. but because of my past, i dont know how to trust him. because in my mind, every man is here to hurt me and leave me after hurting me.

[@aliisakalma8245]

Sun Irene Angie men generally hate women. But your ex sure was a complete sadist

[@aliisakalma8245]

Lyanna Stark "repeated trauma" it's closer to c

[@jezzypants8306]

im so glad i have found this video, i have just been diagnosed last month and felt completely lost, this video has given me so much more information, so thankyou for sharing this.

[@AdamMcMaster]

This is going to be a really long comment, I'm sorry in advance it's just hard to say everything and keep it short. When I was six my parents fell heavily into drugs and substance abuse and I grew up in poverty, I witnessed drug related confrontations between my parents and dealers, my Mom ran a "sex business" for several years of my life and I was aware of it on repeated occasions. When I was 9 years old I was taken by child services and placed with my grandparents while my parents were to attend rehab, I didn't get along with my grandparents which caused a year of arguments and stress before my parents were finally allowed to have me back the following year, however, four months later my parents had a heavy relapse and I was taken back to my grandparents. At the time my grandparents stated that they didn't want to take care of me as they had retired and were planning to go away etc., so my childhood best friend's parents fostered me for about 8 months. Three months after moving into my foster family's house, my Mom committed suicide. My mom had dissociative episodes when I was growing up which I witnessed, for example one time she woke up and went downstairs and put a pot on the stove with rice in it but no water, my Dad smelled something burning and went downstairs and asked what she was doing, she said she was cooking dinner (but it was six in the morning). In these episodes we were just advised to try to give her her medication and put her to sleep. It's hard to say whether or not my Mom was in a dissociative episode when she committed suicide, but I was 11 years old when she did. I turned 12 two months later and moved back home with my Dad who in grief had quit drugs but became a heavy heavy alcoholic. He had many girls in and out of the house that he would hold relationships with and he was drunk from the time he woke up to the time he slept. Eventually he was diagnosed with liver failure and a bunch of other things that came with that over time, and for years it was hospital trips and months of not living with him (he had eventually settled down with one girl who we then moved in with). When I was 13 I came out as an FTM transgender, and my Dad was very supportive but as time went on he spent more and more time in the hospital and I chose to couch surf between friends houses as I didn't get along with my Dad's girlfriend. When I was 15, my Dad admitted to being possibly close to his death, and married his girlfriend so that I wouldn't have to stay with my grandparents again if he passed. My Dad later passed away in the hospital that year from cardiac arrest, about a week and a half before my 16th birthday. At this time I was dating a girl for about six months and her parents were planning to move provinces, so five months after my Dad's passing, she chose to stay with me and we couch surfed together for a month before getting our own place. The place that we got was a room in the apartment of a heavy drug addict and it ended horribly in us being on the streets but thankfully only for a few weeks before we found another place. It was hard to ask a landlord to rent to a sixteen year old, but we found a place, celebrated our one year anniversary and stayed in that house for another year. Things got really abusive in that relationship, physically and verbally, my girlfriend became highly transphobic which was obviously toxic, and it was when my work found the bruises on my arm from being grabbed and that my phone had been shattered that they told me I needed help in this situation. She was later diagnosed with BPD and I was having my own personal struggles and things horrifically fell apart. I couch surfed again for a month and a half before getting my own apartment, which I live in now. I'm eighteen years old. My current girlfriend has moved in with me and is often concerned about my mental health. I often break down or just completely shut off, I've been diagnosed with a panic disorder and I'm on medication for panic attacks where I go unresponsive, all of my muscles spasm and I completely black out, so my meds put me to sleep and I usually wake up pretty confused about what happened. Recently I broke down and quit my job, I haven't really been able to hold a job since being on my own, I've been fired multiple times and had a lot of issues related to my anxiety or depression. I haven't been in a regular classroom since I was 13 until a couple of weeks ago and I struggle a lot to attend therefore I haven't yet received my high school diploma, I have an immense struggle to leave bed everyday and I know I'm really moody. Sometimes I'll cry in my girlfriends arms for hours, and often I'm told about doing things that I completely don't remember doing. I lose everything because I don't remember where I put it and when I find it I still don't remember putting it there. Happy events in my young childhood (before age 10) are really blurry. I'm sure they happened, I just don't really remember them. On a side note, I was addicted to ecstasy between the ages of thirteen and fifteen, and I was addicted to ketamine for seven or eight months when I was 16/17. I know that's a whole whack load of information and I'm sorry! I want to know, would anyone call this Complex PTSD? Or what would you call this? What should I do for help? Thanks for even reading all of that. I'm sorry if it's too much. Have a great day :)

[@gracietrg2812]

It sounds like complex PTSD after reading your story, and I urge you to get the help you need. ♡ I'm sorry to hear of your story, but I think perhaps suggesting to your/a therapist that you think you have PTSD will be a start in the direction to recovery. Stay strong because things do get better. You sound like a lovely man, and I hope the best for you in the journey to learning to deal with the problems you have :D A person like you deserves a bright future. I hope things get better with time :D (sorry for my English)

[@caseyjobobh8254]

Read your comment, try to have faith friend, you are not alone in your struggles. Hang in there

[@sukhrajnagra6782]

I love you Kati Morton. I watch your videos all the time. They have been extremely meaningful and beneficial.

[@saffron_allen]

Finally, at 36 I'm getting treatment for cPTSD right now. It's not easy though because on top of the life of trauma (physical and psychological abuse by my parents and the ministry from birth, singled out, made the whipping boy for my sisters, AND also raised in a fundamentalist cult from 0-14), I am autistic (wasn't diagnosed until I was 30). I literally spent my whole life going from one abuser or set of abusers to another, one set of traumas to another. From the cult, having the ministers see my autistic meltdowns and tell my parents "she has demons... you need to beat them out of her!" and the keeping us separate from the world, to my mother using me as a sounding board as she prepared to walk out on the family (and swearing me to secrecy), to the aftermath of that with Dad being a wounded animal himself lashing out, to ending up on the street, to being with my ex-husband who was extremely abusive, the lost of both my children (still born and newborn deaths) ...... That was the hardest thing to realize in trauma therapy. Trying to find a time in my life when there wasn't trauma, and not being able to do it. :( All of that would be insane for a NT person to handle, but it's so much harder for someone with ASD (say my medical professionals) so it's taking some extra work on my Psychologist's part. Because a lot of therapies for PTSD and complex trauma can actually hurt and re-traumatize people with Autism where they help NTs. :/

[@jasonjust-jason9489]

I just wanted to let you know another human being heard what you said here and wish's you well.

[@jacqslabz]

I can at least somewhat related. I went from abusive parents, to an abusive boyfriend, to abusive in-laws... there was no before-time and I don't even know if this is an after time because I don't feel like I can trust myself.

[@wheelchere]

Im REALLY glad you covered this. I have known about it for a couple years but its been glossed over when I've asked about it. I believe its someting I struggle with

[@Bubbles_L]

Please please please do video on selective mutism! I had it as a child

[@Bubbles_L]

Thank you so much!! xo

[@asmrnovastar]

THANK U. i dont have words. so validating and helpful.

[@epistte]

I wish that there was a way to hit reset on life instead of having to live with Complex PTSD, especially when I am still forced to liove with the person who abused me as a child. I see videos of abused animals being rescued and I wish that someone would come and rescue me from the hell that is my daily life. Most people cant accept that the person who they know could have done this as a child because many people think that she is a saint. I want a life but I cant find anyone who wants to do anything but write a script. I have SSI/Medicaid but their treatment is a joke. I am begging for someone to help me but nobody hears or cares. I am also transgendered and I don't want to become a statistic. Id love to be able to leave and change my name and my family would never find me again. I can't even take care of myself anymore because I just don't have the energy.

[@ZenithAstrology]

Yea I keep getting almost angry at God which is super rare for me, its just wierd. People who go through things should be able to get over them. It's like why does the Universe make it hurt, then, hurt some more... Probably my cortisol talking. I used to think I was coming out of it. But now, PTSD is real. I give up. But not literally.

[@epistte]

I am forced to live with her. Yesterday she had a meltdown for 2+ hours after a mental health case worker caseworker called. She told me that I would regret it if this woman started asking too many questions. I need a safe place to life before I can begin to get better and nobody is helping me.

[@ZenithAstrology]

+LucyPrettyPinkPony Thanks Lucy! I hate being my own best friend, but dang no one makes me near as comfotable as I do myself. Well, I am with my mate now. They do but it took a lot to get here. They are finally understanding it's physiological. Now im not looked at funny when I rest mid day. And I fought the PTSD lable, even lied and said I was in therapy to buy time to see if it was real, and the logic to repeating the traumas. My animal brain says hell no. But the logic is if I keep going over my stuff. I will be less startled at parties by my own situation. Less akward, I didnt know those were flashbacks and only heard the term used with Vets. Now I realize I avoided interviews, as Im a pretty stoic person. People do not pry and if they do, I give stupid story and not the real one. But jobs is like they need to know and they ask all my childhood stuff. Teenage stuff. And it feels immensely frustrating to be judged so superficially. For a routine they expect and demand, that i could never keep up with. You know my abuser did the same. Demanded my body. The interviewing reminds me the trauma subconsciously. Because I cant explain. I am trying to survive like anyone else. But there time tables and requirements almost insane for a regular person. Let alone me. But.that.was.a flashback!

[@ZenithAstrology]

+LucyPrettyPinkPony Hey, check out Nancyboy's channel. If I had the resources I would rescue you. Being trangenderd I imagine, is hard! I always say that life is pretty close how complex mine is. Well she is very inspiring and can maybe point you to some gays that might want to help. she lives in Florida.

[@sarahdominguez1964]

Thank you for this video! I have been diagnosed with PTSD but your description of CPTSD sounds much more like what I am going through. My issues are a result of 18 years of childhood emotional trauma. You really hit home on why these symptoms are occurring and you helped me make sense of it. Thank you!

[@jpw48sg1]

can this happen with emotional abuse as well?

[@womanlovercapitalismhater]

Yeah

[@jlnioannou]

Of course

[@danielleadams5236]

This made me want to cry, its hard for me to put into words all the things I feel, I connected with everything thing you said in this video and I really appreciate how you put into words what I could not

[@everybodysgramma5657]

I'm not a vat. I was diagnosed with the worst case of complex PTSD the shrink had ever seen in his 50 year career. Many shrinks ignore the fact it's not in the DSM. People are clueless. My family thinks I can just get over it. Mine is so bad it has caused actual brain damage to my amygdala. My fight or flight response is irreparable.i do not get violent. Generally I end up on the floor sobbing and peeing myself. If the trauma continues, I dissociate. Then people get even angrier at me. My mind enters a feedback loop where there is no correct response so it shuts down. They think I am trying to be difficult and giving them the silent treatment but I literally cannot speak or move. Then they mock my initial breakdown with fake crying to release their anger at me and show me how silly I am being. Then when I come out of it a bit I start cutting myself. I have a heart condition now so an attack could kill me. I hope it does. This is all on top of severe chronic pain from nerve damage. This is my portrait of complex PTSD.

[@catluvrr95]

Krystal Potter I hope you can get help your story is so sad :(

[@autumngrace8541]

They are Psychopathic Narcissists and you need to go no contact with these unhealthy toxic people. Yes even family.

[@mezcabukoglu7882]

Krystal Potter get the hell out of where you are, ask for help and get the life you deserve

[@caseyjobobh8254]

How are you doing now dear?

[@kerennelson9947]

Love your work Kati ❤ I've been blessed to listen to you vids when in some streful situations, which brought me back to trauma was coming to the surface. Bless your heart

[@yourenough3]

Pete walkers book from surviving to thriving cptsd book helped me greatly. And healing the shame that binds you by John Bradshaw ( healing toxic shame ) The road less traveled by M Scott Peck. I have so many other book suggestions for books. Anyone who has been neglected ( has an insecure attachment with their caregiver ie mom / dad or grew up in a narcissisticly / borderline abusive home will cause CPTSD. The DSM doesnt recognize this with abusive childhoods they only recognize ptsd - John Bradshaw is amazing they do have videos of him on you tube. Im not trying to sound like a Know it all I am only trying to help anyone suffering emotionally. It has helped me. Until you fix your inner child ( toxic shame / inner critic ) you will keep going in circles ie self medicatiing and attract unhealthy relationships eat food to fill the hole in your soul. It causes so many dysfunctional bad habbits in life and alls you are doing is coping. I truly feel for anyone that has had to endure this as a child and then deal with the consequences from that abuse in adulthood. Been there done that have the t shirt. Lol Best wishes to you all!!!

[@fortsawdust8323]

I lost the person I was, completely. There was a clear shift in my inner being, where I jumped from happy me to lost me. I have lived 14 years since that shift, and I still have not been able to find myself. Thank you for this video!

[@whirledpeasfursure7320]

actually, isn't complex ptsd is from childhood trauma? (those soldiers also had childhood abuse).. things like tonic immobility tend to happen to people who also had it as children first. blah blah blah.. IDK, just sharing how I understand it...

[@cowboy2185]

thank you for posting these videos and helping people, actually not all people know about PTSD or complex PTSD.

[@SuperMebunny]

Holy shit I finally know what's wrong with me, thanks so much

[@skeletikgames]

Thank you for posting this. It's a great video and was very helpful. To anyone suffering from the condition, hang in there, you're not alone, things do get better when we move toward our goals. Love, peace and chicken grease.

[@ashlyalexander9301]

Stalkers, Borderline Narcissistic Personality Disordered mothers, Childhood Neglect, Complex Compound Trauma, can all cause CPTSD. Find the balance, the gift that comes with every crisis. Once identified one can not just survive, but thrive in spite of the trauma!

[@karlharrison6544]

I have it from repeated childhood trauma. It has ruined every part of my adult life and it controls everything I do or even try to do. I also have massive problems with anyything to do with relationships which is particularly devastating. All of the symptoms mentioned have such an adverse effect. It particularly hurts when you wonder who you really are, often it just feels like you are C-PTSD, rather than being the real "you" with an illness.

[@pbjenney4531]

I stopped watching when she said it only comes from war I have cptsd I wasnt in a war just an extremely abusive relationship that has had terrible effects on my life

[@carinfreimond8080]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Nobody deserves to be abused. Are you getting any support?

[@kelliharding2381]

Thank you for this video it is wonderfully educational. I was diagnosed with cptsd from medial trama and everything you spoke about is my daily struggles. I agree more awareness for this illness is necessary to help with this horrible struggle. Thank you for your compassionate understanding this means a lot.