Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot

Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly green objects located in the blue area.
More coverage: onion.com

[@Magic_beans_]

Thoughts and prayers to the people of Green Longshape.

[@obamabinladen4109]

Yup

[@ahyarhartanto1802]

it's just more funny for me, as I am one of the green longshape people. and my city is located exactly where those phone guy reporting XD

[@nagata277]

Especially the long and skinny one there.

[@sacrificialobama8786]

@@ahyarhartanto1802 were you in the row of small people?

[@cowboymooman8776]

@@ahyarhartanto1802 i am also someone who lives in the green longshape

[@yunleung2631]

I can’t believe that on scene reporter just stopped responding. How unprofessional.

[@d9zirable]

Not his fault. The telephone image disappeared before he could continue

[@barbieblue3336]

Lazy

[@AudieHolland]

I misunderstood his name. He definitely was unseen reporter

[@ottojansen3556]

didn’t even say what colors the circles were

[@spiralhalo]

That's why they needed an expert as the reporter was unreliable at describing cocentric circles

[@jmckendry84]

This is like aliens who have disguised themselves as humans who are trying to blag their way through presenting a news report without ever having seen one before.

[@tommynorthwood]

😂 I cant unseen the aliens now. "Little human shapes"

[@andrewrivera8651]

I can't stop thinking that they're aliens now.

[@medexamtoolscom]

Actually I just saw a skit of that reminds me of, but now I can't find it since I can't remember what it was called and it's not in my view history that I can find, maybe I'm seeing it but the preview image doesn't give it away. But a bunch of stupid aliens were pretending to be various countries' reps at the UN, and replacing them one at a time and the humans were so stupid they weren't noticing this was happening even though it was happening right in front of them and the aliens were roswell type gray aliens, and the top comment was "I refuse to believe politicians are this smart".

[@crossfiregames6677]

CNN now in a nutshell

[@chrismckell5353]

A shout out to our alien overlords.

[@Citizen_Se7en]

"Well, the telephone image seems to have disappeared..." I lost it right there.

[@UnfinishedCombStudios]

I hope you find it again

[@allhailbigbrother648]

i know this is late but same pfp

[@borkbork3804]

Yes

[@tcg1_qc]

@@borkbork3804 lol this is confusing

[@borkbork3804]

No it isn’t

[@lepidoptery]

If you cut open an onion, it's all concentric circles, so the onion is the most trusted source for concentric circle news!

[@sauercrowder]

Some onions are even red

[@thefirebeanie5481]

Yep you can trust onions with red orange and yellow circular situations

[@cabbage2329]

Obviously, they have a bias towards concentric circles. Have you ever heard them say anything negative about concentric circles?

[@KenderGuy]

What if onions are made with concentric circles for the purpose of making the onion look more credible when it comes to concentric circles?

[@saalkz.a.9715]

You could say that the onion's concentric concentricity concentrates the concentric circle concentration. It is quite concerning..

[@canadadry5449]

I think this is the most honest reporting I've heard from a news source in a long time. It's very hard to find a news outlets without a bias, but the Onion clearly has higher standards.

[@Mohammed-2338]

I end up feeling more thirsty after drinking Canada Dry! I think the word "Dry" in the name has something to do with it 🤔

[@shadowtemp7839]

@@derusername7218 😂😂

[@jimjaspers2804]

You win

[@denisdeari1]

@@derusername7218 i live in Europe and it only seems like unbiased news but COVID and the war in Ukraine showed us that there absolutely is bias in European news. They always support the government

[@V1NYL]

@@denisdeari1 thank you for your taxes 🇪🇺🤝🇺🇦

[@BAGELMENSK]

*When you read the book but didn't actually understand any of it.*

[@sogyalsamdup7648]

Omg hahahaha

[@bobboberson7684]

LordMatt48 *pay attention to it

[@dwightstewart7181]

The Onion forgot the strange people, who always appear after the circles and lines, claiming it was like a nuclear bomb, yet we never see a mushroom (fleshy body of edible fungi) cloud dumping radiation.

[@senatorjosephmccarthy2720]

Now we have to know how to read?

[@digi3218]

@@bobboberson7684 No

[@sum8601]

this truly is news, information was relayed, voices were heard, graphics were displayed. Truly a day that will forever be marked as a day that happened.

[@skeetrix5577]

it's a hell of a lot better than any of the bullshit that they feed us today...I love watching this, the real news, so I don't have to hear about gay and trans people everyday in the fake news

[@Sqlldude]

With todays age and how things are going, I’m sure some details you’re talking about have some relevance compared to other trivia.

[@myczxr]

brilliant observation

[@Tirocoa]

It's certainly one of the news ever reported.

[@theZinator]

An interesting fact, those red dots and lines are often followed by pictures and videos of destroyed buildings for up to two months afterwards.

[@soliel5680]

Hello from the future

[@gigan2444]

Do you think there's a correlation?

[@howdoipickaname9815]

Not only a correlation, but a causation

[@SoberCake]

@@gigan2444 now let's not jump to conclusions

[@TheKorenji]

These theorists are getting out of hand in the replies

[@Quintusblake]

That guy’s name is On-scene Reporter.

[@Quintusblake]

ludlow 889 pleasure to meet you, Jim Janitor. I’m Colin Unemployed.

[@Quintusblake]

ludlow 889 no?

[@cypherusuh]

Did you noticed that very famous guy called Expert?

[@inanjarif1388]

@ludlow 889 I'm Ivan Waiter. If you can call McDonald's workers waiters...

[@yodawithasoda2272]

His wife's name is wheather

[@SamsarasArt]

i about died when he said "expert in a suit"

[@retina2045]

k

[@lukasr1166]

k

[@user-pr6ed3ri2k]

@@retina2045 what ????? kkkk k k k k k k k k k kk k kk k k k k k k kk k k k

[@dumb214]

@@user-pr6ed3ri2k you were careful to not put exactly three k's in a row huh

[@Lenalyn]

Show this to a friend, but mute it. Then watch their reaction when you play it again with sound.

[@Loading-tr7yv]

Lenalyn wow that’s a great idea

[@thrashingpanic]

@@Loading-tr7yv But there are those messages on screen about colors and shapes and concentric circles emanating. There's no way one wouldn't read them all if sound was muted. Human brain is still ;) used to search for data.

[@Loading-tr7yv]

thrashingpanic I might just have to edit those out

[@thrashingpanic]

@@Loading-tr7yv In that case this would be fun indeed.

[@alex_evstyugov]

@@thrashingpanic Well la-dee-dah, mister All-My-Friends-Can-Read.

[@LittleB2007]

Hilarious and sad at the same time. Back in 2011 a set of huge concentric circles appeared in the blue area just east of my little green thing, followed by long squiggly lines on the edge and more than 15,000 human figures...

[@米空軍パイロット]

LB2007 どこに住んでいますか

[@sliverbullet7973]

米空軍パイロット ???

[@skimask5167]

Aw man I don’t understand lines

[@lawrencehorner8418]

And I assume the human-shaped figures from 2004 was in reference to the Dec. 26 tsunami that year.

[@SippingVino]

LB2007 we’ll never forget I had lots of family still there. I remember the exact moment it was happening too

[@DrThunder88]

This is not funny. My aunt and uncle died in a concentric circle emanating from a glowing red dot.

[@Ying-yang6969]

After 8 years, I hope you're alright. Happy new year.

[@MarcofKenya]

Socially frustrated lol okay

[@Mr__Joe]

Dang, a lot of people replying to this one comment at the very beginning of 2020

[@xplosives1752]

Jared Nolastname KZbin recommended decided that THIS was the best video to start the new decade. Sure

[@christofour217]

Can you tell us what color the concentric circle was?

[@Champiness]

What really puts this over the top is that On-Scene Reporter seems to actually understand the situation but is immediately killed by it

[@smurfyday]

We didn't see anyone getting killed. It was just squiggly lines and stuff, and a lost telephone image.

[@donovanmahan2901]

Or the contact method was crushed by a rock, potentially the cameraman.

[@cliffspiller1363]

The On-Scene Reporter's "What?" was one of the best lines.

[@petermmm42]

tp be fair, we dont know if he died, its implied, but yeah

[@felixbabuf5726]

Gold. Pure gold.

[@FirstnameLastname-zc6ym]

No its red

[@fozzyburger189]

Gotta agree

[@ericalbertson3035]

You're the devil

[@medexamtoolscom]

Gold sucks. A million dollars worth of gold isn't even 1% as valuable as a billion dollars worth of chicken livers. Though it would probably be considerably more compact.

[@LittleWhole]

@@medexamtoolscom LMAO, this is technically the truth because it is actually technically true that "A million dollars worth of gold isn't even 1% as valuable as a billion dollars worth of chicken livers"... this is very clever haha

[@gorgolyt]

"We just heard a loud wind-like sound from an indeterminate source" ...my sides

[@jellohunter7981]

I hope your sides are ok. Its been 7 years so hopefully they recovered.

[@_nines8270]

@@jellohunter7981 8 now

[@jellohunter7981]

@@_nines8270 I got stuck in a time loop, and am forced to relive 7/13/2020 forever, so it is still 7.

[@_nines8270]

@@jellohunter7981 damn. that's unlucky

[@reduceparticles876]

@@jellohunter7981 Has your time loop been initiated by any concentric circles making ripples through spacetime? I know one Mr. Expert who may be able to help.

[@sheikhk.s.sarian2594]

POV : You're a child looking at news

[@ilynnad]

"Earth's overpopulation crisis will soon be solved by heroic meteor"

[@matthewwelch8839]

Lucifer's Hammer

[@zetanull9631]

@@matthewwelch8839 Meteor hammer?

[@snacks8465]

@@zetanull9631 Ban Hammer

[@medexamtoolscom]

No, not a heroic meteor, but a small red circle in an illustration with larger but hollow red concentric circles emanating from around it.

[@timothyhubert2305]

@Jerome Lund did you know all along?

[@joeeeee256]

"The green shape is expanding enormously" amazing 😆

[@user-oo3oi9ki2j]

THE SEVERITY IS INCREASING

[@CrowPlaysHD]

When you are supposed to do a presentation, but haven't prepared for it

[@Klont123]

More like when you copied the presentation, but didn’t understand any of it.

[@Aranimda]

It definitely has to do with phones. I once dropped my smartphone in my bath tub and I saw similar circular lines emitting from the location of where the phone hit the water.

[@kurtthewurt]

LMAO. "It's chaos! *ahhhh*" - "Do you see any concentric cirlcles?"

[@darvell29scott5]

Lol

[@kr-sd3ni]

WHAT?!

[@_Sparky144]

Do you though?

[@DracoSwordMaster]

"What color are the squiggly lines?" "I'm sorry... What?!" "Do you see any concentric circles?" 😂😂😂

[@smurfyday]

It was like talking to a crazy idiot. On-scene reporter shouldn't have been hired for a job obviously above his level.

[@notlucas6859]

how are u laughing there are literally people suffering from concentric circles dude come on

[@user-oo3oi9ki2j]

I laughed so much at that part lmao, the contrast between the sheer panic and then just comes super serious "what color are the squiggly lines" LMAO

[@BendySnowball]

Honestly I think this really speaks to how newscasters are really disengaged with on scene reports. The juxtaposition between the on-scene reporter and the telephone image really did it to me. It's almost like the reporters nor export really realized the extent of the damage created by the squiggly lines emanating from the concentric circles.

[@cyberdelicxp9125]

I quietley put the Onion on for my grandmother, when I visit. she thinks it's real news. I'm a terrible person.

[@RokeJulianLockhart.s4eb2q]

XD

[@Masupups]

CyberdelicXP I started doing this to my ma, she takes a minute to notice but she gets it lol

[@aaronyayger]

You're also just a liar lmao. But sure.

[@RokeJulianLockhart.s4eb2q]

@@aaronyayger There's no way to prove whether they are or are not such, so either ignore it if do still believe such or if you change your mind say something that isn't so negative and which doesn't help anyone. Also, as it's very unlikely anyone's seen your comment, don't like your own...

[@slappy8941]

You're a hero.

[@DangStank]

I do love that they made it clear what it actually represented instead of just making it a bunch of nonsense

[@unmeibushido]

I'm taking a GIS (geographic information science) course in college, and we saw this video when our teacher wanted to make a point how life would be if we couldn't understand maps.

[@robversion1973]

So we lose the Onion but get a lifetime of corny SNL. Why is this not considered the gold standard of comedy?

[@hemipemi]

All comedy show formats get old eventually. SNL are more deliberately targeted at a wide audience, something for all ages, interests, and levels/varieties of intellect. The Onion is more of a cult thing. The Onion was special, at least, the early Onion was, because it struck on a relatively unexplored vein of comedy (lampooning broadcast news at a level of professionalism so high that people consistently believed it was real), that had basically never been done before, but that also makes it a harder sell to 'normal' people who like to be eased in to their programming on the back of something familiar and relatable. They want the neural pathways that they've already carved out and comfortably defined as pleasing to be tickled, as opposed to having new ones blasted open. Different strokes. A globally aging population coupled with a decline in TV viewing among young people means broadcast TV is more or less doomed to go that way. I've not watched it regularly in a long time.

[@LAnonHubbard]

@@hemipemi "that had basically never been done before" The Day Today and Brass Eye predate early Onion by many years. They weren't on the internet though which might be what you were getting at.

[@victorzhangkq]

Robert Russo I’m really late but didn’t the Onion stop because reality surpassed satire?

[@Thatdudewithatie]

@@hemipemi wonderful explanation thanks.

[@slyguythreeonetwonine3172]

Most likely because it doesn't involve Leftist insulting 3/4 of the Planet.

[@louisantonio2462]

Hey there, Resident from the Green Shape Thing here, the aftershocks of the concentric circles are still reoccuring right now. Very accurate news reporting from 13 years ago--

[@rickyspanish4951]

what color and shape are the aftershocks? have they solved the noise problem? the world needs to know!

[@stupidgranny997]

I like how we heard the one sane person on the onion before his death for a few seconds

[@smurfyday]

The best dark comedy ever.

[@Zombienekers]

"Researchers have developed new screening method for physical disfigurement; test involves looking at patient" this is gold

[@fartx211]

this is what goes through my mind when im watching foreign news

[@TheLobsterCopter5000]

Truly earth-trembling reporting from the Onion.

[@avocadomonkey4892]

"Earth's overpopulation crisis will soon be solved by heroic meteor, say astronomers at Mauna Kea Observatory." So heartwarming to see this cooperation, if not selfless sacrifice, between meteors and planets in our solar system! We certainly need more of this sort of good news these days. Thanks, Onion!

[@ProGamer1515]

But what about those blue pointy lines and red half sun things? Every time I see them I hide in my bunker thinking it is an alien fleet.

[@ProGamer1515]

***** That too. Though that "White line of scanning" seems to create all of them. If is the true evil. XD

[@stericallyhindered2699]

I seen these concentric circles before. However I am still dumbfounded. Wow how amazing.

[@sandtanmaroon]

It’s so amazing that even though it’s fake it still evokes such an angry and frustrating reaction from me

This is one of the funniest Onion clips I've seen. The way he says "The green shape is expanding enormously" in such shock lmao, I cant handle

[@yodaman8015]

Kerbal space program pfp

[@1202SDFT]

all our hearts go out to the victims of concentric circles

[@knownas2017]

That's terrifying. We need more updates on this

[@redacted6813]

9000 years from now when the Squid-Aliens find this video they're going to be very confused.

[@chrismckell5353]

No more than any of the other weirdness going on these days.

[@siggyretburns7523]

"No one is really sure how often this occurs, nor the frequency of which it happens. But scientists are sure of one thing. The process will either repeat itself, or the cycle once completed, will start all over again."

[@markh.6687]

This is the type of up-to-the-minute, on-the-scene, detailed analysis the Onion is famous for.

[@IDontBuyIt50]

I am willing to bet there is NO other site that comes close to the Onion for vids getting "likes" that are over a decade old. I live for these old vid drops from Onion into my feed. Its like mana from a long ago, golden age of man.

[@HLScientistGaming]

fr dude

[@ewthmatth]

"Hold on, the green shape is expanding enormously! Do you see that?" hehe. my favorite part.

[@yairmohr]

This is probably the most brilliant newscast parody ever done. Simply genius!

[@jozsefhor]

agree totally. classic Onion

[@notlucas6859]

@@jozsefhor took 15 years for someone to agree

[@ruidadgmailcanada8508]

I too agree. Genius is rare. Every single word was important. No fluff.

[@jamesl9371]

Expert in a suit

[@jozsefhor]

every word a classic in this one

[@lego2will]

It took me 5 courses to understand that concentric circles dont just expand... They expand continuously, and in a very circular manor. Many things in nature have been known to expand, but only concentric circles do it in such a round way.

[@JonatasAdoM]

I love that on scene reporter sounds like "unseen" reporter.

[@eoghan.5003]

The next segment was about a jagged line which comes down through a series of boxes towards a horizontal line with numbers. Very concerning.

[@InstituteOfCreativeD]

One of my favourite onions...

[@ToddHowar.d]

This is peak observational comedy

[@primarytrainer1]

this is one of the greatest videos i have ever seen

[@gabbyty7144]

the headline at the bottom is hilarious. "we just heard a loud wind-like sound from an indeterminate source..." LOUD WIND SOUND HEARD

[@mightyvoovoo]

I can't even believe how well they kept it together for that.

[@andrewmihovich4252]

There is something *brilliant* here I can't quite think about.

[@Marqan]

This is quality news reporting right here! No silly stories, no drama, just the facts!

[@zenleek2129]

Truly ground-breaking journalism...

[@Kane_the_Newschool_DM]

This... is easily the best thing I've seen in about two minutes, since the last Onion video.

[@Infinity238]

"The downward slant on this jaged line." Absoulutly slays me!

[@rachelciel3330]

I knew I'm familiar with that map in the thumbnail... Geez, usually Indonesia is always safely overlooked from world-wide political battle and once we're getting attention, it's always for our concentric circles and squiggly lines.

[@jspiro]

This really was their absolute best video.

[@ricegum2022]

DO YOU SEE ANY CONCENTRIC CIRCLES!?

[@infinitelifeline2432]

"Well the telephone image seems to disappeared" i lose it there XD

[@DavidMcCoul]

This pretty much sums up the depth of reporting in news today.

[@a_literal_brick]

thank god it isn't triangles

[@ed_cmntonly]

"green mishapen objects" The Onion did not need to roast the entirety of Indonesia like that

[@hazukichanx408]

That was the most objective and unbiased report I've ever seen! =D

[@illustriouschin]

This sounds almost exactly like a Who's Line Is It Anyway? skit.

[@asagoldsmith3328]

Newsflash

[@asperRader]

I like how there's actually a meaning behind those circles but the reporters off-site are just taking it completely literally.

[@hellopaul1472]

really? what does the squiggle look like?

[@SkylaneMusic]

Yeah that’s the joke

[@ryanreedgibson]

Best explanation of plate tectonics I have ever heard. A dumb professor once told me it was called subduction. Sounds like he made that word up.

[@bl8388]

This is why I got into that career where people climb the tall triangles a lot. Changed my life!

[@bamnibaum]

I was piloting my plane over Lake Meade when I flew over some red concentric circles. I lost all instrumentation, my artificial horizon went vertical and lost all power. Fortunately I started a glide and about two minutes passed when all controls returned. It was a frightening experience. I'm still trying to make sense of it. Don't fly over a red dot with concentric circles emenating from it.

[@PlanetXtreme]

They forgot to ask "how red was the concentric cirlce?!" Damn you reporters!

[@agrawal.akash9702]

"do you see any concentric circles?" I died.

[@ignis_infinitus_infernus]

Sorry to hear that, I will avenge you.

[@TexasAmericana]

So did the on-screen reporter I believe.

[@randomnessrules4971]

"The map is not the territory" has never been so literal.

[@smurfyday]

That's brilliant.

[@betteronbrunettes]

Brilliant satire on how distant we feel to disasters happening on the other side of the world.

[@odinangie1377]

This is what the news sounded like to me when I was 4

[@swimteamizzle1114]

I'm glad this is finally getting some attention. Daily large red and blue arcs fly across America unchecked. The blue ones even have spikes on them sometimes! Awful.

[@Tater_Toot]

My math teacher showed us this video in class, and that's how I discovered The Onion

[@captainobvious9233]

The expanding circles represent a loud radio and the wavy lines pinpoint the best surfing zones.

[@Wasabifold]

"Earth's overpopulation will soon be solved by heroic meteor" I laughed so hard when I read that.

[@ChinchiIIin]

Are you still laughing

[@Thanasis_Koligliatis]

At 1:50

[@smurfyday]

Way better than Thanos.

[@undeadretard7]

"The telephone image seems to have disappeared..."

[@LordZero666]

The Onion reached their peak 10 years ago.

[@TommyAngelo1337]

Pretty sure most of their 08-09 videos are older than that and just got uploaded to KZbin when it became popular.

[@BeatleSoph]

brilliant as always. gotta love the onion

[@TheoneStanband]

I had a really shitty day today but this genuinely made me laugh and laugh some more. This is just great, concentric circle expert lol

[@urip_zukoharjo]

As a person from Cilacap (where the four lines met up on the expanding green shape) I confirmed that we were not assaulted by the concentric circle, instead by that squiggly triangle shape guys

[@sid2112]

Drag queen invasion, eh? Yeah that's rough. We get those a lot here too.

[@sketchuptutorial101]

Im from region that red circle hit that day :/ still love onion for the joke.

[@naufalaz33]

What province?

[@alfiqh9105]

Mishapen province

[@bmw3-er]

Me too

[@bmw3-er]

@@naufalaz33 South of West Java

[@qPlung]

This is by far the best onion report. Simply brilliant! :)

[@jozsefhor]

unparalled

[@OddJames]

As long as the circles consent everything is okay.

[@LCTesla]

this is like abstract art

[@sigmamale197]

At least this news outlet reports more facts than CNN and foxnews

[@05swanbe]

yep, its real. Concentric circles are a growing phenomenon across the globe and can be linked quite closely to an increase in upward jagged lines

[@icarus313]

This is so...abstractly hilarious!

[@Carphi2000]

This is what the news felt like as a kid

[@InvisibleMan-125]

"We just heard a loud, wind like sound!" BREAKING NEWS: WIND SOUND HEARD lol

[@Hannodb1961]

... From an indeterminate source.

[@greg55666]

I just love the word "misshapen" here. How is it misshapen? Compared to what?

[@Hazzar595]

I'd love to be a concentric circle expert!

[@reubenwenger8319]

Watching old onion videos is all I do now