Conlang Critic Episode Eight: Kay(f)bop(t)

jokes and lists and lists of jokes
crazyninjageek...
/ discord
/ toki-ito-li-pona
/ badconlangingideas

[@melvinshaw7574]

The sad reality of Kay(f)bop(t) is that it is probably the one conlang I've ever seen that does exactly what it intended to do perfectly. Inefficient as hell, mind-numbingly sadistic, and intentionally bad? It is all of those things, not as a result of a creator forgetting something critical, or failing to account for variation in speaker preference, or some other detail, but because it was designed to deliberately encapsulate absurdity. Esperanto, eat your heart out, this is a language that is legitimately perfect in its accomplishment of its goals.

[@connermckay4012]

Esperanto isn't actually that bad until you get into the adjective agreement and eurocentrical vocabulary. I think it gets way too much hate, frankly.

[@devonoknabo2582]

@@connermckay4012 true What is wrong with adjective agreement

[@user-qd7zb4wm9b]

@@connermckay4012 The diacritics (ĉ, ŝ, ĝ, ĵ, ĥ, ŭ) aren't the best for an IAL either...

[@arcticflower7223]

I am still optimistic about Interslavonic. For me the one constructed language I've ever been truly excited about beyond simple curiosity.

[@gazeboist4535]

I mean, people have tried and failed to construct bad languages in the past.* Good job Mr Swanson. * INTERCAL is an annoying language to program in, but it's ultimately easier to use than minimalist languages like False or Brainfuck, and it fails to be actively hostile the way malbolge is.

[@eros330762]

>percussive bimanual stop >faciomanual click >phonemic hats RIP my sides

[@lunahoshi2844]

Don't forget the bimanual trill. Apparently people have a lot to say at concerts

[@MisterHunterWolf]

@@lunahoshi2844 nah, thats rubbing your hands together. you mean a bimanual ejective stop.

[@Officialhelpkenet]

Phonemic hats is the funniest word I've ever heard.

[@ferguson704able]

Officialhelpkenet Along with hatonym.

[@ronlinetsky2095]

And faciomanual clicks

[@haru-bun]

that is two words

[@TheRojo387]

I just rendition the capelemes as tones instead.

[@gooball2005]

i think we need to get the IPA committee on this, we definitely need a symbol for *tips fedora*

[@hbar45]

"Simultaneously more specific and less precise" 10/10 Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle as observed in a conlang

[@Quintinohthree]

Ace December ΔsΔp>h/τ, where Δs is the uncertainty in specificity and Δp is the uncertainty in preciseness.

[@biblebot3947]

Quintinohthree it would actually be h bar over tau Or just h over 2 tau

[@jorgehaswag7294]

Imagine clapping facepalming and switching hats all in one syllable

[@nddragoon]

um ACKSCHUALLEH the bimanual click is only used in nouns relating to penguins

[@thewanderingmistnull2451]

@@nddragoon That makes it even better.

[@emmettbrown3463]

@@nddragoon why is that so? applauding? parodying their attempts to fly? why don't they use bimanual clicks when talking about seals?

[@EnriqueLaberintico]

@@emmettbrown3463 it's a joke from the BCI Tumblr.

[@field5758]

But they're talking about the facio manual click not the percussive bimanual stop

[@rileysmith9105]

I lost it when i saw "unvoiced manual stop"

[@tearlach47]

What's a voiced manual stop??

[@codygriffin299]

Chronarch ~cl- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -ap~

[@fairycat23]

Butt consider the unvoiced gluteal stop (which isn't in this conlang but wouldn't be out of place).

[@yangkong7935]

Sean Wilson it is sometimes known as a “round of applause” since your vocal chords are active and you are manually stopping

[@helloiamenergyman]

Daniel Swanson tells a joke at the commedy club. He then heard multiple unvoiced manual stops

[@lordpatthethird]

I just left a really bad idea for a language. Every vowel and every possible diphthong, but no consonants. Communication is all done through screaming, and meaning is conveyed by Tone and volume as well as the actual sounds.

[@Toimu13]

Patrick Moscatello "all communication is done through screaming, and meaning is conveyed by volume"! Sounds like an international internet language!

[@completeepicness5070]

eeeAAAuuoOoAuEouy

[@chromatos7428]

I imagine it would end up sounding rather like a Theremin.

[@ronlinetsky2095]

Lol it's hillarious, i want to make a conlang based on that idea.

[@cobaltvi4462]

Did you mean: *French*

[@Sarsanoa]

missed opportunity to use emoji as IPA stand-ins for faciomanual click and percussive bimanual stop

[@aryamaangoswamy179]

I once had that idea

[@yaitz3313]

"By case" includes "Suit", "brief", and "Justin". Gold.

[@gamefan1353]

So the Babylonian Story or the Rickroll are the same without context. Got it!

[@vrilnau5396]

Just as God intended

[@davidfinstein9911]

It's a very useful feature. Now you can Rick Roll someone while maintaining plausible deniability.

[@HeadCannon19]

He Rickrolled God

[@timseguine2]

I somehow think that most of the vocabulary was constructed specifically to make that joke work.

[@platinummyrr]

@@timseguine2 most? I'd guess all!

[@dangswan]

The orthography is boring for 2 reasons: 1. It's supposed to be "pronounced like English" - inconsistently and never defined using the IPA 2. After getting the conjugation right, I had had enough and wanted to work on something else, so I decided to skip the native orthography. Thanks for the feedback. I now have kay(f)bop(t) orthography back on my todo list. puf(t)bib(f)rezh(p)zhel(t)luk(b)san(t)ap(t)vlir(t)sang(b)es(p)u(t)vom(b)ngag(t)ash(f)tin(f)vlim(p)kay(f)dan(f)

[@et5896]

kay(f)bop(t) was made to be bad

[@simonjohnston3100]

Tetrahedrony faciomanual click

[@machaiarcanum]

I have been looking into Kay(f)bop(t) [Can the hats be implied? Just Kaybop is faster] and I noticed that your word kay(f)dan(f)ga(f)snil(f)...dan(f) means both 41(odd number) and 721(odd number). Was this intentional or an accident?

[@mickrobertson7782]

This is the best conlang I think I’ve ever seen, despite getting rickrolled. Probably the greatest part about it is that I have a science teacher who very much approves of my nerdy tendencies and I can show it to him. His name is Daniel Swanson.

[@WillBassman]

Daniel Swanson Where can I get a pangolin hat so I can properly articulate this language?

[@asyao4198]

i've always wanted a language with a facepalm as a consonant

[@thatoneguy5239]

There now is one!

[@TheZetaKai]

The "facio-manual click" is a part of our collective lexicon, and I for one could not be more pleased by this development. I'd tip my hat to Mitch, but I'm not sure which one to use for this sentence.

[@EmperorDodd]

@@TheZetaKai Ah, but it's not a question of which hat to wear for that sentence, but which hat to wear for EACH SYLLABLE of the sentence! Or we could just pick one arbitrarily. A tip of my pangolin to you!

[@dangswan]

So I just realized (4 years late) that the Han characters you mention were probably actually a text encoding issue. In my notes the roots in question are zɪg(f)ʔʌ(f)zɪg(t)ʔa(f) ø(p)

[@jdjk7]

This is... interesting, because the Han character thing just seems totally congruent with what I would expect of this language.

[@dangswan]

@@jdjk7 They also seemed congruent to me, which is why I never questioned their existence until I was making pronunciation guides and couldn't find them.

[@jdjk7]

@@dangswan The fact that jan Misali accidentally gaslit you about your own language, for four years, is... profound. Powerful feel.

[@kornsuwin]

that just made things funnier

[@emmahird2795]

In my opinion, the fact that it was unintentional gives kay(f)bop(t) the jokeresque chaos it deserves to have.

[@MrInsdor]

I actually like the idea of conjugating by edibility, day of the week, certainty and market value. I laughed a good while. This was awesome. Your faciomanual click was very weak by the way.

[@Mercure250]

Don't forget honesty and subject magnitude relative to that of a breadbox :')

[@floracanou7613]

I think the two sounds should be called bimanual percussion and faciomanual percussion respectively

[@ann6048]

ferengi conlang

[@brandonchandlerMGnO]

Conjugation by matter of death is my favorite. I know this was a long time ago, so happy reminder.

[@gluk8838]

imagine a conlang with no vowels. only consonants. you can only communicate via beatboxing

[@adamecek64]

Meet Drsk

[@theradioactivefox3593]

he had in his possession a bunchberry plant

[@elnico5623]

Introducing Drsk

[@GuiSmith]

For all those saying and thinking of Drsk, do remember that the vowels are a quasi-phonemic part of that language. They exist and are used, but not as a differentiating part of words and are inserted with some variance. This is about beat boxing, the cursedest cousin of Drsk.

[@davinchristino]

Honestly such a language would be awesome

[@jaydub3733]

Never did I ever expect to be rickrolled by a conlang's translation of the Tower of Babel passage.

[@zimlit]

I just got rickrolled by a conlang worth less than 10 dollars

[@slamwall9057]

Same. I also got Spicerolled by it I guess

[@Armiteus]

I lost it at the phonemic hats

[@_skysick_]

AKSHULLY i think the term "faciomanual FLAP" would be more accurate.

[@solarplayza2614]

ah yes the face really be | > - > |

[@themobiusfunction]

Faciomanual trills?

[@EnriqueLaberintico]

Yeah, a manual click would be a snap.

[@johnhooyer3101]

I was keeping my cool at all of the absurd things in this video, and then it got to "We are not strangers to love. You now the rules. I know the rules. I'm thinking of an entire commitment. You would not get this from a different guy." In a roundabout way, this video just Rock-Rolled me.

[@theeclipsemaster]

It made me do a faciomanual click.

[@allisond.46]

I once said there are two types of conlangs: thought experiments (“thoughtlangs”) and ones that are actually intended to be spoken (“practlangs”). Kay(f)bop(t) required me to make a third category: jokelangs. By the way, yes, I made up those names on the spot.

[@angelodc1652]

engilangs, auxlangs and jokelangs

[@IntergalacticPotato]

technically, kay(f)bop(t) would work as a thoughtlang, the thought that starting it being "what if i make my bin into a language"

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

It would be perfect if it could decline nouns for sexiness and likelihood to explode, and if it could decline verbs to express the level of drunkenness with which the action is done.

[@mmmmmmmmmmmmm]

@Luis Muñoz telling if people are into you would be pretty easy lol

[@aaale376]

I'd always use the same suffix then

[@magiv4205]

@Luis Muñoz It would make everyone's dating life so much easier

[@mikebliss3153]

OH NO, THE LANGUAGE IS EVOLVING

[@billiamswartz2355]

The verb part is already true in mental state, sexiness is such a good idea though

[@GibusWearingMann]

Zigazig ah killed me.

[@anselmschueler]

I don't understand the joke, could you explain

[@Levi12O8]

@@anselmschueler spice girls

[@RoamingAdhocrat]

Many parts of this video killed me.

[@bacicinvatteneaca]

@@Levi12O8 I DON'T GET IT

[@bigshrekhorner]

@@bacicinvatteneaca It is a reference to the song "Wannabe" by Spicegirls.

[@matroqueta6825]

3:00 This language might be a meme but in full sincerity declining words into the [submehic, mehic, okayic, coolic, magnic, marabilic, awesomic, epic] cases is the greatest feature in a language I have seen so far!

[@yarnmisery]

whats marabilic from? idk any word thats like 'marabil'

[@Kleo3392]

What if some guy made this his kid's native language?

[@Sovairu]

Oh god! I'm not sure that I could expect less of some of humanity ....

[@miguelceromil]

I think that kid would not survive

[@tibiademon9157]

the kid would have to carry four hats around at all times and switch them at incredible speed every time he says a syllable just to speak

[@dragonoftaters]

I was actually joking with Daniel (the Daniel who invented it) about doing this to his future kids. He doesn't like that plan.

[@dangswan]

If I understand language acquisition correctly, there's a decent chance you would prevent them from ever being able to learn any language, which I think is an excellent reason for me to disapprove.

[@StarshadowMelody]

Imagine you're playing a text-based adventure game and you read "You hear a faciomanual click from the other room."

[@thetherrannative]

This makes me want to abandon my attempt at creating a legitimate, decent language and spend two straight weeks creating a monstrosity instead.

[@merrymerryjerry6736]

I died at the 'nouns must be suffixed with MARKET VALUE' part this is great! And 4:13 YOU!!! Actually , to the people that created this language, BRILLIANT!

[@korayacar1444]

MerryMerryJerry Imagine trying to sell something on the open market. You'd need to put a market value for the open market.

[@lubieplackixd9223]

manner of death is interesting too

[@angelodc1652]

@@korayacar1444 I guess you can put ø(p) to indicate something is not for sale

[@piguyalamode164]

luckily, for everyone's sanity, you can approximate to an order of magnitude

[@robingaming3391]

This language is even simpler than my first kitchensink lang *faciomanual click*

[@109Rage]

Lol, the picture at the end. So, in lojban, "vore" means 42. Thus, vore is life. God dammit.

[@HBMmaster]

www.zazzle.com/the_lojban_word_for_forty_two_t_shirt-235546272470236980

[@serglian8558]

Yes. Vore is life & death. But mostly death, luxkily

[@casperchristiansen2458]

They apologised for the inconvieniance, you jerk. Haven't you read "So Long and Thanks for All The Fish"? It wasn't their fault that "vore" is the answer to the question of life, the universe and everything!

[@otesunki]

I don't get it.

[@DragonWinter36]

@@HBMmaster unfortunately, the product doesn’t seem to be there

[@isaacsilbert8976]

It's nice when you find a conlang out there who's express purpose is to be ridiculously complicated or just for shits and giggles. Always makes me laugh. Oh, btw, maybe in the future you could critique one of the well-known conlangs from the conlang subreddit like Siwa, Vyrmag, Unitican, the Sumric language family, Ausulene, Vahn, Mneumonese, Fenekere, Waj, Draen, Karadii, atánnabhek, etc.

[@HBMmaster]

just updated the Big List. btw, I'm not on Reddit, so I don't know what the conlang subreddit is doing.

[@isaacsilbert8976]

You should check out the subreddit, some of the conlangs on there are really well made and I reckon are well worth the time to have a quick glimpse at in any case.

[@BloodRider1914]

This video is impossible to dislike

[@HBMmaster]

looks like we've got 4 hackers then

[@BloodRider1914]

😑

[@poppy-spades]

This aged interestingly

[@KCSutherland]

"The percussive bimanual stop, sinestrolateral click, dextrolateral click, and the faciomanual click" had me dying, 10/10 language

[@dclikemtndew]

I don't understand what the title of this video even means but this has been haunting my reccomended videos for what feels like years now. The nonsensical title and thumbnail of this video is burned into my memory like a remnant of a past life. Hopefully now that i've finally clicked on it, i can escape its wrath for good.

[@gamefan1353]

Okay, faciomanial click is propably the best thing I heard so far. Bimanual percussive stop is also pretty good

[@rileysmith9105]

I would learn this language but I don't have eny hats

[@OrdonWolf]

It's probably silly to overthink a years-old conlang video, but I've been thinking that the calling a facepalm a 'click' is a bit weird. Afaik all clicks are ingressive, meaning you perform them by sucking in air. I propose "faciomanual percussive", percussives are already part Extended IPA.

[@b4byj3susm4n]

“For manual consonants, the pulmonic-ingressive dichotomy does not apply.“ I’m sure that’s what it’s fictional Wikipedia article would state. 😅😂

[@frtzkng]

Name all letters of the alphabet: A B C D E F G H I~ *Hanzi character for enzyme*

[@jfb-]

That is some real dedication to a rickroll

[@Superboi7777]

I'm rewatching Conlang Critic and suddenly this Conlang becomes so much funnier

[@renerpho]

It becomes even better after watching Daniel Swanson's recent videos.

[@i_teleported_bread7404]

The Tower of Babel story doubles as a Rickroll. *I am immediately sold, 10/10, stop making conlangs everybody, this wins.*

[@KittydogCrystal]

my favorite conlang

[@ciciinho3968]

4:13 He got unknowingly rick rolled by a fucking conlang, the guy who did Kay(f)bop(t) is an absolute legend

[@philipschloesser]

And that has the same translation as the story of the tower of Babel

[@renerpho]

@@philipschloesser Which was bad conlanging idea #393, by the way.

[@aidenbagshaw5573]

If someone can differentiate between the two lateral clicks when speaking them, they need to be rushed to the orthodontist's in an ambulance.

[@windwatcher460]

Fancy, precise words for silly things are wonderful. Faciomanual is a great example: entirely self explanatory so people won't be confused by it, but can't really call you out for making it up since you communicated just as intended

[@spcxplrr]

its impressive how daniel here was able to make the babel text a rickroll

[@bubblewraposaurusrex1866]

Ah yes, the linguolabial trill. Very common in that one Spongebob episode.

[@epingchris]

Imagine if future archaeologists found only records of Kay(f)bop(t) as the sole surviving documented "human language".

[@Frahamen]

"faciomanual click" that's a great idea, I'll use it in my conlang!

[@iid7281]

4:13 *I TOOK ME FOUR YEARS TO REALIZE THAT THIS WAS A RICKROLL I CAN'T-*

[@thewanderingmistnull2451]

I'm certain this entire language was created solely for that purpose.

[@slamwall9057]

​@@thewanderingmistnull2451 so am I

[@Janack]

...I laughed for a solid minute after you listed "manner of death" and "awesomeness".

[@datdictatorboi]

4:14 Alternatively, you could translate it as: We’re no strangers to love You know the rules, and so do I A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of You couldn’t get this from any other guy

[@mayhair]

that's the joke

[@datdictatorboi]

@@mayhair I know

[@soopFPS]

linguist youtube is such a gem. jan Misali just called a clap a "bimanual stop"

[@ruby8065]

Basically a new type "memelang"

[@ObeyBunny]

You know, this is the video I go to when I want to shine a soft sunbeam onto an otherwise crap-tastic day. Thank you, Conlang Critic.

[@pentelegomenon1175]

I guess that Bible quote and that Rick Astley quote could plausibly be translations of the same text, which would have been something like "Sometime after each of us had learned the language of the heart, together we arrived where a rare opportunity was presented to us, an opportunity to live and dwell together."

[@yerdasellsavon9232]

Wait nouns marked for market value Kay(f)bop(t) has been purchased as the official language of ancapistan

[@danielbishop1863]

Every few years, Swanson has to update the dictiony for inflation.

[@pretzels1208]

"Percussive bimanual stop" never fails to get me

[@icannotchoose]

4:20 Rickrolling on another level

[@lichenthrope__]

#4:20

[@NStripleseven]

“Honesty and subject magnitude relative to that of a breadbox” what

[@arklu4598]

1:23 i percussively bimanually stopped my hands in laughter

[@booloffs.3912]

this was a good episode

[@quinn7894]

3:05 Mental State! Kay(f)bop(t): [mathematical] -dan(f)iel(f)- [passionate] -not(p)dan(f)iel(f)- [panic] -al(p)so(p)not(p)dan(f)iel(f)- Me: [intoxicated] -ha(p)ha(p)-

[@joshuanedved8752]

I love how there's even ambiguity with the ...pronunciation? of the pangolin/turkey hat

[@ossi_2429]

Percussive Bimanual Stop and Facial Manual Click. This is pure art.

[@aimulnwza]

I laughed at conjugation depends on day of week

[@jmclean6648]

This made me laugh too many times!

[@MachMultiple]

When the name of your language changes due to inflation.

[@archai2142]

4:23 thats part of 'Never gonna give you up' by Rick Astley... *weve all just been rick rolled by a sentence that could have an entirely different meaning...*

[@thewanderingmistnull2451]

Not only that, it's a passage from somewhere in the Bible.

[@archai2142]

@@thewanderingmistnull2451 huh, didnt know that, cool

[@tonio103683]

Ahaha, linguistic fart joke xD 1:40

[@otesunki]

I just tryed to purnounce it and realised what you mean. =/

[@asdfghyter]

I thought it sounded more like this? kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHypnmhsf6yYeNk

[@kathrynjones2383]

First impressions: This thing is a beautiful work of art.

[@sehr.geheim]

I watched this episode so many times now, but today, as I'm now accustomed to always trying to pronounce IPA symbols whenever I come across them, the labio lingual trill of course had to be pronounced, and I get the joke, lol

[@Cookie_Wookie_7]

I almost died laughing when he said it has hats because of course it does

[@chris7263]

It's been years, and I still crack up at the phonemic hats. I happened to think of them today for no reason, and I had to come back and rewatch this.

[@fairycat23]

"What is art?" This. This is art.

[@death0personified]

Haha spice girls! 2:27 zig a zig aah

[@jan-Pala]

"thank you to... actually, nobody wanted this." - jan Misali, this video

[@IcyPandaGirl]

WAIT I UNIRONICALLY LOVE THIS RIDICULOUS LANGUAGE

[@adriangd5040]

the idea of phonemic hats is actually so funny to me idek why that was the hardest laugh i did all month so far

[@Win090949]

Because making a bad conlang is so easy this conlang is ranked #1 in his ranking.

[@sinom]

"the percussive bimanual stop" had me laughing out loud.

[@sinom]

The faciomanual click wasn't even that funny after that because you were expecting by that point.

[@b4byj3susm4n]

You should be applauding lol

[@gwest3644]

The facepalm is weird, but the worst part (by which I mean best part) about kay(f)bop(t)’s phonology is the “left” and “right” clicks, which are both just the lateral click and can’t ever be distinguished unless you somehow can see inside the mouth of the speaker. It was a nice touch to include one of the worst features a conlang can have (rare sounds that are difficult to distinguish) and take it up to 11 XD

[@camiblack1]

I can't believe it took me 6 years to get what the joke is for null... I did a facio-manual click at that.

[@hubertk7363]

I've never seen such a great phonology! (I died from laughing when I heard the names of these consonants)

[@DianaBell_MG]

How do I know I"m a linguistics nerd, (other than watching this vids) everything I just learned about Kay(f)bop(t) just made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.

[@halfnwhole751]

0:01 I don't remember request this

[@DominoPivot]

I forgot why this was in my "Videos that hurt good or hit different" playlist. Percussive bimanual stops to you AND the creator of this language, this is still a pretty funny joke.

[@svantenelander7131]

Best rickroll ever, 4:13

[@b4byj3susm4n]

I burst into tears at 1:56 “phonemic hats”. At work! 😂🤣😂

[@taimao2]

Love this. I'm getting that conlanging desire again. I might have to revive my conlang from the days of Langmaker.com. I'm honestly not sure if I can remember all the vocab and grammar. I'll be back, just have to dig up some old notebooks.

[@Migixkem]

This has been reccomended to me for so long KZbin really wanted me to click this and as expected I didn't understand anything

[@kaioocarvalho]

Percussive bimanual stop was fucking brilliant!

[@bananacat3109]

i keep watching this because kay(f)bop(t) is hilarious and it never gets old

[@casperchristiansen2458]

Finally, a lang based around Korean jazz music. I think-I didn't see the video yet for the sake of this joke. Update: It was worth it.

[@calindarul]

As soon as I saw Facepalm and Clap in the Phonology I just lost it

[@proto_maver1ck]

"Honesty and subject magnitude relative to that of a bread box" had me fucking dying 💀

[@rubbedibubb5017]

Ziga zig aaa is what they ding in the song ”wannabe” by spice girls lol

[@Chunk_Larked]

nobody: Conlang Critic: Kay(f)bop(t)

[@fernandomarques7905]

This is the only correct International Auxiliary Language.