Cooties (2014) KILL COUNT

[@DeadMeat]

►► Go to buyraycon.com/deadmeat​ for 15% off your order! Brought to you by Raycon. ►►Email MOVIE REQUESTS to [e-mail] (please don't leave them in the comments!) ►► Support me at patreon.com/deadmeatjames for rewards like explicit versions of Kill Counts, full-length commentary tracks, early releases, review videos, and more! ►►Check out the DEAD MEAT PODCAST - new episodes every TUESDAY (On hiatus until August 17th!) - at deadmeatpod.libsyn.com/ ►►Thanks for watching - comment with your favorite joke!

[@pilotmatthew1787]

I wish

[@bluecubenn]

HEY JAMES! COOOOOOOTTIIIIEEEEEESSSSS

[@ashleygiron5959]

Ji

[@noahcorish1078]

I have been waiting for this for sooooooo long

[@noahcorish1078]

Dead meat are you excited for the forever purge

[@TellItAnimated]

I love how Elijah Wood has really ingrained himself in the horror genre since LotRs, he, Daniel Radcliffe and Robert Pattinson have all done a great job of reinventing themselves since their popular franchises from earlier in their career.

[@NoCommentaryGaming100]

True

[@PonchitoPoncho2050]

Indeed.

[@calvinjager4691]

Exactly

[@kyuuwaiisbrother2220]

Make more videos Please

[@eddieg4858]

Love your videos dude :)

[@Sinvicta]

James nailed the Coach look!

[@noidedjay]

hey sin!

[@seanbeanie1401]

Lol

[@zerx5692]

69 likes lol

[@shadowboss7895]

Hey sin

[@delta_theta753]

Oh, hey sin, love your videos man.

[@tyvania1322]

So is nobody gonna talk about how the girl could literally see the black goo in the nugget and still ate it

[@vigaliy7217]

Or how she even ate school food

[@glitchedhunter2837]

Food is food

[@OriginalName-ge3gv]

Idk I eat expired nuggets with maggots all over them at school. Not too different isit?

[@okjeffy6581]

Well I am still wondering why the fuck did they kill their own students

[@annetteadcock1848]

Im more interested that they served chicken nuggets for breakfeast

[@thedragonmaster1436]

I just realized that the guy that played Sheriff David is both a Golden Chainsaw kill in Brightburn, and Dull Machete kill here. He's won BOTH awards

[@TheDankNootTF2]

He was also in Breaking Bad!

[@thedragonmaster1436]

@@TheDankNootTF2 really? No shit. Good for him! Hope his career is still landing him awesome roles

[@giovanniulloa7054]

@@thedragonmaster1436 why did you say no shit

[@Flameonoodle]

@@giovanniulloa7054 Guessing they used it as "Oh My God" "Oh Man" or "Wow"

[@bernlin2000]

First and only time that's happened on the Kill Count?

[@snake_wit_tophat9835]

“he gets overunned by zombie kids” *doesn’t get added to the kill count* *somethings wrong, I can feel it*

[@dantelovesbleach]

The dude did survive though

[@powermetallistic2293]

@@dantelovesbleach Yea, thats why he knew some trick was gonna come in the movie.

[@moltenshard]

@@dantelovesbleach He gives the commentary after watching the movie

[@8bitboss]

becuase he survives

[@JolteOnWisconsin]

No way Dwight Schrute goes down that easily

[@goldenhand9107]

9:49 the reason i find that joke so funny is because it was improvised, that reaction from Elijah Wood is probably 100% real; he looks _so_ taken off guard and offended. i love it

[@bigbrocol1908]

Elijah has the “Did he just call me a fuckin’ Hobbit?” look on his face, freaking priceless

[@bernlin2000]

I would cringe so much...like, we know, Rainn, you dork. "Sneak around like a Hobbit" crashes together both The Office AND Lord of the Rings. Why remind the audience they could be watching 2 better things? 🤣

[@vandalsavage6743]

That joke and "I can totally pass for Harry Potter" in Wilfred the TV Show were so self aware 😂

[@amaandesai7037]

“I’m sorry little one” -The Forever Purge

[@alexanderhopkins917]

Wait a minute wait a minute didn’t jack mcbrayer play Tom in the odd squad movie I have seen the odd squad movie once on pbs kids

[@kalibruhmoment3032]

So I'm guessing that movie didn't so good huh?

[@Wooshey_Wooj]

The “who is that lady!?” Joke was HILARIOUS already James. No salt in the wound pwease. Lol.

[@ExcitedBlini-ng6jq]

I feel bad and sorry for her

[@2diceyy]

9:01 "WHO IS THAT LADY" literally the most funniest line in this movie

[@houseofaneverendingdor5666]

Lol

[@frostyzombii]

off topic, but i like your pfp!

[@slayerking5267]

ye

[@abrahamlincoln8327]

Made me chuckle!

[@houseofaneverendingdor5666]

Im out of joke

[@rockbroplayz3654]

Imagine doing a kill count of Disney “Soul” it would break the record

[@diognes4846]

They say how many people had died :)

[@tonyflamingo8637]

He does horror movies though not Disney movies

[@diognes4846]

@@tonyflamingo8637 yeah thats matpats territory

[@rudra.patel.001]

@@tonyflamingo8637 Your name is very classy, I must say.

[@clonecommanderfang2827]

Imagine doing star wars episode 4 or 6 space station explosion

[@MegaJSK123]

Who else paused on that document to read all the Kill Count requests? So many good movies on there, the ones I wish were higher are Lost Boys, Wolf Creek and American Werewolf in London

[@samon5391]

Also my favourite,as the gods will!

[@spacespider4998]

I was one of the people who said terminator

[@JosephCWest]

I’m so surprised Army of the Dead is number 1, I love that film so much

[@charmeter2183]

I want 28 days later and a quiet p lace part 2

[@JimboRustles]

I wonder what the color codes mean

[@sadshiver]

"Oh look, carnage" is probably one of my favorite random lines I've heard in a while.

[@spotlightanimation6719]

I want it on a tshirt tbh

[@spelunkymaster]

Bro said it so casually too, like it's normal for a virus to spread around the school and have the teachers get eaten by the kids.

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

That Should Be A Meme

[@MicoCrafty]

Baby zombie lmao

[@katysch]

This has absolutely nothing to do with the kill count but I’d like to say something about James. I’ve been a fan for about 3 or 4 years and I’ve noticed over this time how considerate James is. He doesn’t support problematic creators and is very open about it. He also addresses offensive things in movies he covers very well and maturely. James even includes flashing lights/image trigger warnings. James is a wonderful person and deserves all the support he receives. Love ya.

[@SirBlackReeds]

Does he? He covers horror movies. The only kind of trigger warning he needs to use is one for epilepsy and "this is a horror movie kill count, so if you're squeamish then why the hell are you watching?" Crap like "trigger warning: racist imagery" is pointless and diminishes his content. Furthermore, who exactly is a problematic creator? For an example, E;R gets called problematic but the man's mostly a shitposter.

[@elliereppe9021]

@@SirBlackReeds for example the man who created jeepers creepers, that man sexually assaulted a young boy. James does not support him or his work. The trigger warnings are for things like for a example self harm, as someone who has struggled with it immensely I appreciate the warnings and know to mentally prepare myself or to skip forward, it’s so someone doesn’t get upset or damaged by the content being displayed! Hope this helps :)

[@katysch]

@@elliereppe9021 couldn't have said it better myself

[@extratoasty29]

@@elliereppe9021 just wondering is there any other creators James has talked about not liking? I ask this because I havent seen kill counts in a bit

[@Jojo-xe1bg]

@@shineeshaymin he said he’ll do it when he dies so maybe there’s a chance:)

[@stacyfrickboi6218]

When James looks like he's about to tell you his grandma can run faster than you

[@leifhelland6313]

"AND SHE'S DEAD!" I had a rough education.

[@wingbeacon8760]

@@leifhelland6313 damn

[@SixHunnidFL]

Those kids that were absent that day were verrry lucky

[@heystopthatnow222]

@Lucas Sanchez LOL!!!!!😂

[@louie9355]

@Lucas Sanchez "ah damn!"

[@HopePapernacky]

Well it still spread across the world

[@JetBlack2024]

I mean the towns were over run so I don’t think they faired any better.

[@sutterismine]

cue FInal Destination 6

[@Halfbreedmofo]

That ooh look carnage line from from the teacher with social anxiety killed me.😂😂

[@thatblackhoodieguy5492]

Same name

[@Crackheadcentral2188]

@AlphaPhoenix7959well…

[@RatchyRaccoon]

“I’ll go aHEAD and count this kill.” James… oh James… I can’t believe I ever stopped watching your content

[@Leigha-kp9be]

I know I also stopped watching him I don’t know why

[@heyitzzitro]

I occasionally watch him when he uploads movies I either know or I’ve heard of

[@BlaizeTheDragon]

It's more like a bingeable channel. Wait until a buch of videos have been uploaded then splash an evening out on them.

[@user-lr8ow2jg4e]

I just came back because of the title. I stopped watching him for a while for no reason at all. I will watch him now.

[@user-lr8ow2jg4e]

@@BlaizeTheDragon You either binge watch em now or you don't watch him in months. There is no in between.

[@noosakareal]

"Oh look! Carnage!" The best fucking quote

[@totaltakeovergames7275]

I feel like only Leigh Whannell could’ve done that quote too lol.

[@ceverett68]

favorite line of the movie

[@bioscar4998]

I would say that first chance I get when a Zombie Apocalypse began-

[@jasonstinson6249]

When does he say this?

[@Propane_Taank]

​@@jasonstinson62498:09 is when he says that.

[@ShortHax]

If Gordon Ramsay made a cameo in the movie, the kill count would be almost nil

[@totodilemegafan]

youre verified so i must like, its a rule

[@titipezehealing4348]

tf I just clicked on another video from lpl, Jesus Christ another comment spammer

[@danilau2379]

"What is that?Cooties?!In my food?You donut!!"

[@stegt8484]

It's fookin RAW, GET OUT!

[@DemBigOlEyes]

Actually, it would have a higher kill count than Final Destination, with Gordon roasting everyone left and right.

[@valenciageode25]

I like that the kids don’t act completely mindless. Patriot has enough cognitive ability to cut the electricity, respond to an alarm from another kid, and let the others is. Also playing with their food.

[@NovaPheonix]

"A character you don't even remember!" James, please, he has a sick van of course we remember him

[@cesarvictoriano8072]

and he’s played by Hurley from Lost. And isn’t a major disappointment with what they do with his character. Unlike on LOST.

[@PurpleFury2375]

@@cesarvictoriano8072 LOST was far from a disappointment. And Hurley had tons of character, but then again, i have a bias as I was the only one in my house that liked the show. I felt a connection with the characters

[@NovaPheonix]

@@cesarvictoriano8072 It's really just the Van for me, I want it

[@jimmybrown4205]

@@cesarvictoriano8072 Disagree, Hurley has one of the best arcs and most deserving fates on Lost.

[@skyofthelivingdead]

“So socially inept he has to study small talk.” Same.

[@zee-bruh5993]

introvert check.....sorry

[@Its_Me_Romano]

You lying

[@aaronseidl5941]

I feel attacked 🤣

[@stardragon7893]

Never have I been so offended by something that describes me perfectly.

[@killergamer7222]

Bro you’re lonely that’s so hilarious I forgot to laugh

[@oranji7258]

Everyone knows that the only cure to cooties is a “circle, circle, dot, dot; now you’ve got your cooties shot”

[@phantompenguin1065]

Why did I never hear of this

[@owyemen9367]

@@phantompenguin1065 either someone you know never got cooties or they never got cured

[@fledthehunter5293]

Oh, I just got smacked with a stick

[@captain1203]

@@fledthehunter5293 LMFAO

[@h1tokiri]

what does cooties mean exactly? lmao im confused

[@christianfrederick4272]

I like how that dude says "Oh look, carnage" as if it's not the first time he's seen this

[@jesusmeza1678]

He is a teacher obviously he seen carnage

[@ItsTheVioletQueen]

“‘It’s a comedy!’ And they were like ‘well, we were thinking more of a horror’ and my response was ‘but it’s called ‘Cooties.’’” He says that but then “The Bye-Bye Man” came out which isn’t classified as a comedy.

[@leomoreno7369]

It isn't?

[@randomnessltd]

Surprisingly not.

[@spicybeantofu]

Have you seen it? It's not that bad it's a good idea just a bad name.

[@arolurker3511]

Not intentionally, no.

[@jimmybrown4205]

@@spicybeantofu It's not good.

[@xin3443]

Can we just appreciate how much effort James puts into the costumes of every kill count? I absolutely love that lol, one of my favorite parts of his videos!

[@honeydewopal]

One day my dad rented this film from the towns library (yes we can rent films from there). I was about 8 or 9 years old and I thought "okay this might be funny, i'll watch it with my dad." I sat down and when it got to the part where the teacher got ripped apart, I started screaming and crying and had to run into my room. Safe to say I was traumatized for a few months and didn't eat chicken nuggets lmao. A few years later, I see that Elijah Wood is going to a Con that I go to yearly and decided to meet him for his role as Wirt from OTGW. After waiting in line for almost 2 hours, I finally got up to him and told him about my experience with Cooties and how I almost became vegan. He laughed and said "I don't think that was the intention of the film." He was super nice aha

[@boogiemann9363]

I'd like to tell all the fake "fans" who've been saying James is lazy to kiss my ass. Dude works so damn hard to give us amazing content that none of us have to pay for. This isn't just a part time hobby it's the man's job and he is amazing at what he does. From the bottom of my heart James thank you for everything you and your crew does. BE GOOD PEOPLE

[@alcatraz1018]

Spittin' straight facts

[@BerserkCD]

Going to quote Southland: "Do you work a job? Are you not given a break during that work day? I'm working a long shift, I feel I'm entitled to a break, just like you, on this hot day."

[@boogiemann9363]

@@Colechamdiceman man that's such a high IQ edgy post I can't quite comprehend it

[@kierogd2292]

I think the main purpose they meant while saying this is his job is that he has a life outside of it. Not counting kills sure “ruins” the power by of the show but is so tedious that t can add much more work that already needs to be done. Now also in many videos, James himself said it’s his show. He gets to do what he wants. He is nice enough to count movies like the purge fully so if you can’t deal with on video that’s your loss.

[@jada.b.]

Right! He’s human too!

[@thebrideofghostface]

From the creator of Saw and the creator of glee is a killer tagline, dude.

[@osim_mc]

350 DAMN LIKES AND NO REPLIES? LETS GET THAT UP TO 1

[@thebrideofghostface]

@@osim_mc lool

[@thephony1651]

450 DAMN LIKES AND NO REPLIES? LETS GET THAT UP TO THREE

[@radiodemon3907]

How bout we get to 4

[@Dashie_124]

YESSER

[@lambsus9380]

“Oh look, carnage.” He said casually

[@hi-bl4vq]

"Just enough blood and death for me to get a sponser"

[@realjedilucas]

So my favourite food is sus 🔪🔫

[@themyofmy]

@@realjedilucas 📮📙📔📗📘 THERE IS AN IMPOSTER AMOGUS!!!! MUNGUS!!!!! EHEHEAHAAHAHEHEHEAHEEHEHE

[@realjedilucas]

I SAW @@themyofmyVENT!

[@stevenmattrell3448]

- Me watching the Venom 2 trailer

[@ubernate860]

Im happy Elijah Wood was able to climb out of the Frodo hole. He's truly talented and deserves so much more

[@YamiSpyro2011]

Every time James changes the rules for kills: Your show mate, im just here for the kills

[@tetoterritory]

idc if he changes up the rules in videos, i’m just here for the great videos

[@kagemushashien8394]

You like Spyro the Dragon and yugioh it seems, me too

[@YamiSpyro2011]

@@kagemushashien8394 that obvious aye?

[@abvgavl]

Most people: "Don't do drugs kids" Dead Meat: "Don't do drugs kids...unless"

[@dookie7299]

Nice pfp

[@bowlofstrawbs2863]

Nice pfp

[@Jar0fTeeth]

Nice pfp

[@remedy3507]

Nice pfp

[@yvox.71]

Nice pfp

[@BreedableVaporeon0978]

This feels like an alternative universes version of the Guy Who Doesn’t Like Musicals

[@amberdragon895]

It even has its own clivesdale!

[@possums154]

Oh for sure

[@nananaomi]

Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em

[@B1998-u6i]

I hope that and the other Hatchetfield shows get counted some day.

[@benji7372]

Exactly!

[@hueyang2646]

“WHO IS THAT LADY?!” My favorite line.

[@keatonwestbrook2385]

And my favorite familiar voice.

[@pokealien]

I'm glad to know that people are actively requesting Hatchet.

[@thepancakelover2355]

Dudeee, I’ve watched all the Hachet movies and I must that if James does the Hachet kill count, it’ll be my favorite kill count of this year. Sadly, he might have to censor everything since Victor is really violent!

[@manifestedbeauty]

I watched all of them with my family and I'm literally begging him to do them. By the third one, James is gonna lose his mind.

[@altaccount9351]

Hatchet, you mean the Gary Paulson book that was turned in to a mooooooooviiiiiiiiiiiie

[@Slurv3]

Would love it too, but no way he can post it without being demonetized

[@brettshulenburg4779]

I came to say the same thing! It's my favorite!

[@nateds7326]

These kids are ruthless, they killed one of the 2 most dangerous bounty hunters in all of New Mexico with no effort!

[@eatthatbuddy]

Badger and who else I couldnt find them

[@aneurysm.865]

They should send the HECU soldiers into the school lol.

[@portman3950]

@@aneurysm.865 nice

[@jockeyfield1954]

@@aneurysm.865 "don't shoot! i'm with the student council!" *gunfire intensifies*

[@julianmartinez1100]

For mrs hardford

[@fatpowerful]

Big fan of James’s ‘middle school gym teacher’ fit.

[@crosseyednarwhal7004]

It’s scarily accurate

[@SuperBaxterbear]

@@crosseyednarwhal7004 Besides he's not old and creepy looking lol.

[@cml__as]

i’d really like to see a sequel for Cooties, one that picks up like straight from where they left off, where they resolve the storylines like the love triangle or finding a cure

[@JamesG1880]

As an elementary teacher it really does seem like this movie tried at moments to have a thought provoking premise. While the kids might not literally eat you alive, they will figuratively if you aren’t cut out for the job😅😂

[@SupernaturalDetective]

They can smell weakness

[@slimyderek_7139]

@@SupernaturalDetective 😂😭💀

[@slimyderek_7139]

@@SupernaturalDetective this comment gonna be popular within 2 days😂

[@silverhawk8699]

You know what, I can't argue against that, seen it firsthand😭😂 Also thank you for taking on one of the hardest jobs we have in modern society, you should be given more credit and pay😥

[@0Dawn_of_Time0]

If this movie was real, no child in school would eat a green chicken nugget. I seen some kids in school almost throwing up from a slightly burnt corn dog lmao.

[@deadseriousGAME]

Fam as a British kid I just get my bacon sarni from Tesco meal deal innit

[@ohmygahdbilly]

@@deadseriousGAME the food of champions

[@deadseriousGAME]

@@ohmygahdbilly 😂

[@edwardthibodeaux8815]

@@deadseriousGAME bro at my school kids would drink “juice” We called it that became hotdog mustard milk was too long to say

[@ninjafalls1739]

Yeah if I saw that I’d flush it

[@alienartist6811]

8:10 “Oh look! Carnage!” Is probably my FAV line from this movie

[@BraidensWorldEntertainment]

Madness combat in a nutshell:

[@unitedhags000]

Same😂

[@break_the_galaxy]

Same energy as the "children fighting! I can sell this!" line from Gravity Falls lmao

[@bellaknightR597]

He says so casually lol

[@Jamie-z1j1e]

somebody better call venom we just found carnage

[@Lauria-gb2hq]

Can we appreciate how much work he puts in the background of his videos

[@biggoochdog2129]

I feel bad for James in the new purge movie, that’s a lot of body’s to count

[@h3artr3nd3r]

Was it a good movie?

[@peepjones3717]

@@h3artr3nd3r it’s pretty good not the best of the series but definitely worth a watch

[@h3artr3nd3r]

@@peepjones3717 Okay, thank you

[@scousefcburkito6523]

How many do u think are there

[@minigamercool]

dont feel bad he makes so much money from this shit

[@stevenmattrell3448]

*The group goes to Danville “Hey Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today!”

[@nicholasgoatbe912]

LoL

[@smcool0514]

no. No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOO!

[@comatoasted82]

Cracks a smile then heard perry nervously cluck in the background.

[@carliecairo]

*When the gym teacher said "sneak around like a little hobbit" I almost chocked on my lemonade*

[@WumboMing]

chocked

[@carliecairo]

@@WumboMing lmao *choked*

[@bernlin2000]

15:05 But chicken nuggets turning kids into raging zombies checks out? 🤣 James' ability to attempt to tease out logic in a highly illogical situation is awesome

[@michealbrennan8107]

It was actually a fly that infected the nugget

[@avantikachaturvedi183]

this is a kinda late, but imo the adderall and ritalin putting the kids to sleep was a really good story effect. Basically for people with adhd, stimulants (like adderall) have a calming effect and even stuff like coffee can make you feel tired. it's a joke about how all the "kids these days" have adhd

[@Possum.man27]

As someone with ADHD, and who has taking adderall, it does NOT always work. That shit had me SCREECHING

[@adriannebee2056]

Yeah it's a really gross ADHD joke that the movie did not need to make.

[@erynnmurphy2996]

@@adriannebee2056 I didn't really get the joke either and I have ADHD, So I guess it's like a hit or miss thing. Idk

[@bearoqueiro8905]

I feel like every kid with adhd didn't get it, because it doesn't make sense. talking from the perspective of having adhd, thanks folks for invalidating our existence again as if it already doesn't happen enough

[@erynnmurphy2996]

@@bearoqueiro8905 I agree with that. I know I have ADHD but a certain somebody in my family says I'm either stupid or just brain-dead, my mom really helps me out.

[@SeamlessR]

Holy shit, a Crossed movie test. God dammit I really don't want to see that comic made into anything live action. The rest of Ennis' work has been improved by their adaptations but I just don't see it happening for Crossed. This feels like a one shot of the Crossed infection just at a school.

[@ztlabraptor211]

Crossed would never be allowed on TV. Way too much gore and sexual violence and all that

[@Kingcole6]

​@@ztlabraptor211 A film series though would be SLIGHTLY more likely. Also, until we get a legit adaptation of Crossed, Cooties and the 2013 remake of The Crazies are the closest we'll ever get. Cooties: Because of the very darkly comedic tone matching some of the non-Ennis stories more than the ones he wrote...for better or worse depending on how you view Cooties and/or Crossed. 2013 Crazies: Because it features zombie-like infected that are capable of using weapons including firearms, being intelligent enough to set traps if need be, and killing people in sadistic gory fashion. That and the story's bleak tone at times does match the hopelessness of the Crossed universe.

[@madara4665]

It will get an kinda real life movie, where the People get an Virus and do the most bad things you can imagine. It’s an Taiwanese movie, though has a lot of similarities to the comic, but no 1v1 I would say. I send an link for the trailer, looks promising.

[@Kingcole6]

​@@madara4665 let's hope this is legit. Edit from 2024: It was...and it was nightmarish

[@Incredisav]

Do yu really think that Preacher and The Boys series improved on the comics?! I for sure don't.

[@That_0ne_Dev]

"sneak around like a little hobbit" I love that Elijah gets bullied about that in other movies. His face was just like "Oh you did not just say that"

[@OscarTien12]

Also hey, Fun fact, Jack McBrayer was known for playing other characters such as the engineering Fix-It Felix Jr. from Wreck it Ralph, the nerdy Irving from Phineas and Ferb and, oh yeah! Hoopin' Goofball Wander from Wander over Yonder, holy shit!

[@DoubleKay31]

McBrayer was also a part of the “Wreck-It Ralph” movies as Fix-It Felix and the series “Wander Over Yonder” as Wander.

[@bradya456]

Wreck it Ralph kill count

[@CalifornianCuttlefish]

and 30 rock

[@craiglepetich3457]

he also played a small part in the big bang theory as penny's brother

[@keatonwestbrook2385]

Oh yeah I totally remember that.

[@EdwinHargraves]

pretty stoned, and "oh look, carnage" has me dying right now lol

[@JamesEnsor]

Hell, I'm sober as a priest on Sunday and I thought it was pretty damn hilarious, too.

[@EdwinHargraves]

@@JamesEnsor lmfaoo, clever response man 😂

[@maxweltersworld2270]

I once had a dream where I was in a Cooties apocalypse. My mom and I were in a strange building and it had zombie kids in it. They were weak and I killed them with punches and kicks. They were also smart, so they could still speak, and were better hunters. My mom and a zombie kid got into a fight and they both killed each other. I stayed the night in the building where I met Dwayne Johnson and we fought more zombie kids. We walked for a while until we found a train that we would use to travel somewhere. Before we figuredout how out to work the train, a giant army of zombie kids ran towards the train station. The only weapon I could find was a pistol, but it wouldn't be enough to kill all the zombie kids so we shot ourselves to have a quick and painless death and then I woke up. That was a fun dream.

[@prematuretigerflesh7717]

Sure bud, we believe you...

[@maxweltersworld2270]

@@prematuretigerflesh7717 I swear to god, I'm not lying!

[@xtr3me663]

You had me dead at Dwayne Johnson

[@godvm1164]

@@maxweltersworld2270 lol same even I get dreams like this like when my loved ones die in the dream I wake up crying. And I frequently get horror dreams.

[@ElPasoCountyArchives]

"Holy shit is that the rock fighting little zombie kids?!!"

[@FeganFloop]

3:05 that is the first lunch lady I have ever seen that is gentle when putting the food in the container. Every lunch lady I have just kinda throws it on there and trys to grab as many piece sof food in one scoop so to avoid having to do it a second time.

[@juciy8599]

Can’t wait for The “Fear Street Trilogy” kill count

[@aleeshahope27]

I bet golden chainsaw is gonna be the breadslicer kill

[@paulamcnaughton5939]

I agree. And for part two it will be the decapitated kill

[@bigbandit4436]

Is he doing it?

[@iateyourcheetos9951]

@@bigbandit4436 if fear street comes out in blu ray he well most definitely do it. If he doesn't it's bc it's not in blu ray

[@MrSketchyPlays]

@@iateyourcheetos9951 Isn't Fear street netflix exclusive?

[@noeldizon9667]

Remember, James: Grass plays hard to get. The more you want it, the less it'll show up.

[@kevinrooney3351]

The thing about _Cooties_ IMO is that it's a movie I suspect a lot of teachers really love. It's basically a love letter to the profession that's all about the lack of respect they get from society -- from parents, from their bosses, you name it -- and in which they are the heroes saving the day. That's the big thing I noticed watching this, more than the jokes or the kills: it's a movie about how teachers are awesome.

[@arkking552]

Ignoring the zombies of course lol

[@Electricity_artz]

It’s kinda funny how the voice of wander(from wander over yonder) , a cheetah from the lion guard , and fix it Felix , is in this movie-

[@ninjabunnywholivesinsideaw8216]

Badili in the lion guard was a leopard, but yeah, that's hilarious!

[@HJTTI]

When there's a kill count...waking up at 9 am or earlier on a friday is well worth it ! -

[@DesmondTV-pn1lg]

Great point

[@tjanisse]

True

[@aidenmartin1722]

9 am is so late bro

[@DesmondTV-pn1lg]

It’s 9am Est here, Fook ur time

[@nataliagalindo4931]

it's 2pm here 🥳

[@CozyRainyDayz]

Any time I watch a horror movie someone in my friend group always ask "how many kills were in the movie?" and this just helps me out like crazy

[@2111ah]

Love the pfp

[@CozyRainyDayz]

@@2111ah thanks, your pfp looks nice too

[@maryswaim2387]

I honestly have to tell my friends then they say cool so you have the good friends lol

[@robynnhoud]

@@2111ah just about to say that lol

[@ZenythGamingKitchen]

coffee i came to write the same thing. love sally face

[@SplendidSuperman122]

Everyone when Wade kills Dink: *Terrified shit my pants face* Calvin: “Regular day in the neighborhood.”

[@ruffusgoodman4137]

Wait until the G A R B A G E D A Y !!!

[@oscardepaz6805]

he literally said "he cheated off of me" after he died.

[@evanw.3756]

I love how he always decorates and dresses up for each movie

[@ferrisbueller3231]

16:10 Hey, don't diss Danville like that! Sure, there's an evil scientist who tries to take over the Tri-State Area every day, but he's a really nice guy when you get to know him!

[@greyblueme9711]

Good dad, too!

[@FNCSGodAlfie]

James: there is blood in movie. THATS WHY RAYCON IS SPONSORING US !!! *sighs in relief*

[@BabeLincoln33]

Hey James some advise for your grass growing operation- first spread the seed on top of some worked up ground then sprinkle the seeds lightly with water from a watering can not from a hose. And lastly pack the seeds down. I would suggest driving a riding mower over the seed for larger spots and possibly stomping on the areas too small for the riding mower. Hope I was able to help.

[@TheOneAardvark]

Meanwhile in Danville... Phineas: "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!"

[@randomhorror1266]

This is one of the only horror movies that actually grossed me out and made it difficult for me to finish it. But, I did watch it and thought it was ok.

[@gamingseed2511]

Same here, it wasn’t the best horror/comedy film, but the concept is nasty and it was memorable

[@delook983]

Then don't watch Martyrs

[@TalesOfOria]

Tusk

[@Failman-xy6ge]

Ah yes Danville, I’m surprised the zombies aren’t pharmacists

[@redoranmagic6806]

Lots of me! Lots of me!

[@Joe-bo2fv]

@@redoranmagic6806 this lyric unlocked a memory I forgot I possessed. I cannot thank you any more

[@Glaedrein]

I died laughing at the Danville joke

[@thatclipmakerguy9959]

So what you're trying to say is... there's lots of him?

[@tetoterritory]

i’m also surprised there aren’t any evil doctors with large buildings

[@slaywee]

"So, you have a new Kill Count for me?" "Yes Sir I Do!"

[@JohnSmith-gr3pq]

Pitch meeting! Nice!

[@willcooper4733]

Counting these kills was super easy barely an inconvenience!!

[@ConetheCone]

They should make a sequel to cooties, I feel like the ending left us on a cliffhanger

[@DemBigOlEyes]

I thought for a moment the title said "Cuties", and wasn't surprised. EDIT: The kill counts are the careers of everyone involved in the film, especially the kids.

[@Nova_501]

It should be classed as a horror movie tbf

[@mikhailgorbachevsovietunion]

everyone gangsta till james puts you on the kill count irl

[@AmandaDrainclog]

Next kill count : James A Deathnisse

[@Emike-nc9ew]

Yep,i made that joke before

[@ket_pasty1585]

i remember watching this when i was 9, gave me nightmares for weeks, i generally didn’t want to go to school because i was scared i would get cooties and rip my favourite teacher to pieces

[@RudeboyzRudeboyz]

Sorry to hear that

[@Pringles928]

LMAO WHY AM I LAUGHINGG 😭😭🤚

[@RudeboyzRudeboyz]

It's okay bro it's okay

[@lordyoav7836]

Okay what is your pfp from

[@RudeboyzRudeboyz]

I don't know sorry

[@Plasstyre]

I misread the title as 'cuties', and I thought it was gonna be a completely different type of horror.

[@m7.alsharaf747]

No dude... no

[@jeffthemercenary]

That will be the first real life kills

[@pesciisthebestcharacter5100]

"The dull machete for lamest kill goes to me after having to watch this."

[@Plasstyre]

@@pesciisthebestcharacter5100 "Golden chainsaw for coolest kill goes to Netflix's credibility after okaying this."

[@rivera5b]

13:25 of course she thinks this is a 2012 style apocalypse, because ironically Tamara’s actress, Morgan Lily also starred in 2012.

[@yoshabetic]

This was actually the first movie I have ever seen that had something even remotely correct about diabetes! Even though that situation wasn’t spot on accurate, it has come closer to a realistic scenario than any other movie I’ve seen portray diabetes. Kudos!

[@henryjensen2849]

I know right? I have had it since 5, and this is spot on.

[@lucretiamaggio6154]

Agreed! I am a T1 diabetic, and I hate how we are often portrayed!

[@break_the_galaxy]

Same! I'm a type 2 diabetic and I was surprised at the accuracy

[@Kiera_Spooky]

My aunt is a type 2 diabetic, and my mother had gestational diabetes when pregnant with me. It is awesome to see good representation of how the disease truly is ❤

[@vandalsavage6743]

You mean KOOTIES!

[@leviphipps2462]

Given this is the first Kill Count I've caught in a hot minute, hearing my hometown's school mascot being called out in a middling 10's horror comedy sure is a surprise.

[@espurrispossessed]

My twin and I didn’t eat chicken nuggies for like 2 years because we were so grossed out by the chicken nugget scene lmao

[@PurpledaisyShasta]

This movie makes me think of little monsters. Basically a whole kindergarten class, their teacher, and an uncle acting as a parent volunteer shaperon survive a zombie outbreak at a touresty farm. The guy who played the live action lefoo (Gaston’s sidekick) in Beauty and the beast gets his faces ripped off my a zombified puppeteer

[@ceilinh6004]

"Oh, look! Carnage!" Best line/line delivery in the whole movie.

[@reptilesnake8272]

Coach: sneak around like a little hobbit Elijah wood’s brain: HE KNOWS TOO MUCH!

[@jourdynne27]

Important note to please remember that requests are counted *for consideration* whenever James isn’t sure what to cover on the Kill Count and wants to see what people have been asking for. The sheet is *not* meant to be taken as movies that are coming up on the schedule, so please don’t be mad if you don’t see all of these movies being covered next. Thanks, and keep those request emails comin’! 🥳

[@DeadMeat]

Dear God, so much this, haha.

[@alecjlewis1]

@@DeadMeat I love that people are out here to help you out James!

[@placeintheworldfadesaway5800]

Finally, someone who says that comments get ignored.

[@dirtiscake4701]

We just gonna skip over how this was commented 10 HOURS BEFORE THE VIDOE CAME OUT?

[@StickiestOfCheese]

@@dirtiscake4701 *People supporting his Patreon gets early access to videos.*

[@furyunleash22]

15:02 As someone who used to take Adderal, I can confirm that those kids would not have fallen asleep. If anything, it would be harder for them to get to sleep. Though on the bright side, they'd have a loss of appetite so you wouldn't be eaten after they kill you at least.

[@Canadian_Zac]

"So socially inept he has to study small talk" Im in this movie and I don't like it

[@linasayshush]

Yeah I have actually literally studied small talk

[@JulioTMaker]

@@linasayshush and you’re doing a good job now. 👏

[@seraphimzero6612]

The Ruinous Powers do quite a number on your social life

[@SnickerTheDoo]

cries

[@melaniescribbles]

As an autistic person: I related to that bit a little too much. I'm frankly okay in regular conversation, and I'm hardly without a group of people around me. It's mostly proximity socializing, but at least people often find me pleasant enough to regularly be around me. But small talk? Dude, I just can't! I wish I could just skip that part of socializing, if that makes sense? Like, it just costs me a lot of energy to have those 'watercooler conversations', if that makes sense? I dunno, those just feel so draining to me, and I really end up having to detox from thoe at home. I'm really better at more substantial conversations like 'Man, you wouldn't believe what happened to me on my way to work this morning!', I often walk away from those with more energy to do other stuff in my life. But I just don't do well in conversations like 'How about that weather, huh?'.

[@HoppyAA2]

James really hits the "I'm gonna give you a private lesson after school" vibes

[@Colechamdiceman]

Show us on the doll where they hurt you, Adam

[@ashleybelar4820]

🥴

[@carterf7025]

2 genius kids when they find out there's a zombie apocalypse going on: "I KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO TODAY"

[@erichfiedler1481]

Ah, so the Phineas and Ferb episode "Night of the Living Pharmacist" Doof zombie: Lots of me.

[@LegallyinsaneLoL]

Mom! phinias and ferb are killing zombies again

[@luisdavila9560]

He's a semi aquatic egg laying mammal of action he a furry little flat foot who never stears from a fra-e-ay-e-ay he's got more than just mad skill he's got a beaver tail and bill

[@bizzaroblake2519]

PEST CONTROL

[@natewithgamingpoops8538]

Mom! Phineas and Ferb are murdering the toddler that ate jeremy!

[@nugget0928]

8:11 This is the greatest comedic delivery I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing, and it’s literally just 3 words.

[@asherrivers3740]

Fun fact: Thats Shelly Linker chasing after the van.

[@AlexPerez-tv1zg]

My therapist: Tennis James isn’t real, he can’t hurt you Tennis James:

[@potatononny]

lmao good one

[@lizabe11_eg]

Yes.

[@KingEndymionrose]

Tennis James: I'm coming for you, you can't run.

[@DemBigOlEyes]

Tennis James? Not PE Freddy Mercury?

[@smilinggoomy]

James A. Tennis

[@iwannabeyahtzee8056]

That 'Cootie shot' from Tamara was actually a pretty sweet moment.

[@MARZ-030]

This movie is the reason why I double check what my food looks like, inside and out

[@walshdog61]

“The Wyandotte to your Southgate” is golden, almost as good as “the Riverview to your Grosse Ile”

[@PrettyWaffle]

as a lifelong Michigander, can confirm

[@possums154]

Or the Hatchetfield to your Clivesdale

[@chadtaylor9796]

I was so happy to see that “Cube” was one of the most requested kill counts. Let’s go, keep on sending requests for it via email

[@faceplant6.4]

I saw that “As The Gods Will” above “Cooties”, are you still gonna make a kill count off of it?

[@SiegZeon-d5x]

Most likely yes, it seems like all the green movies are the ones we are getting a killcount 100%

[@tyronedadsmithjtother9718]

For me, at 16:15, it's Waterloo to Cedar Falls. We both have a college, but ours is a community and there's is a university, as well as the fact that they have basically all the communal kid play places (i.e. a Chuckie Cheese and a Trampoline park while all we have is splash pads as all our pools are gone now), yet most Alumni of their university, as well as many whom grew up in the area, are from here (Waterloo). Like, it was either go to the CC as a jump off and find a career or trade, or go to the university and never come back again and or only comeback when your degree didn't pan out. I chose neither as it was easier to just get a job, make bank, and gtfo

[@thatguy8777]

Oh my god, that blonde kid looks just like my dad when he was a kid. Blonde hair, tank top, it's honestly terrifying.

[@alexal6660]

imagine how lucky you’d be if u were sick that day

[@Kxelf]

😂😂

[@the13throse]

"So what happened at school yesterday while I was gone?" The kid who's always making stuff up:

[@HopePapernacky]

Well I mean it still spread everywhere out of the school

[@FlameyyWameyy]

Technically, everyone was sick that day

[@Thetreng]

But unlucky when the virus spreads everywhere

[@crodog100]

Paused to be nosy at the list James posted and Hellraiser didnt even break top 10 which kinda shocks me and damn I really slept in the one day of the week I know Kill Counts come in

[@Njx063]

15:08 i take that and it does make me sleepy/droopy/depressed, but that takes like 2 hours. The first 45 minutes nothing happens, then I get a massive adrenaline rush lol. So I guess it sort of makes sense, but only if they waited a while. Though, the higher the dosage, the more depressed/bigger side effects.