Cops, what is the stupidest criminal you have ever met?

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[@pedrofuentes5276]

My mom is a cop and one time some old lady called the precinct for a disturbace call and she was answering the phone. Well, the old lady went "im calling for disturbance, my neighbor has a rooster in his backyard and wont stop chirping and crowing". My mom replied to the lady almost laughing "what do you want us to do? Arrest the rooster?"

[@kp2223]

Story 15 I guarantee that he had failed a grade somewhere and his parents lied to him about his age.

[@Emulleator]

or his parents are as bad at math as him

[@WomanRoaring]

Sounds like Kelsi from that 70s show, he was a year behind in school and forgot 😂

[@Loccyster]

He's definitely 20 because everyone is 10 for two years. Because fifth grade is really hard for everyone.

[@laurachavez8724]

@@Loccyster that’s the first thing that came to my mind 😂

[@Loccyster]

@@laurachavez8724, Great line. The look on his face when he realises is gold. I often have Community perpetually looping in the background when I'm at home lol

[@Luna51111]

For story 10, sleep medication can be addictive. I get the feeling this guy might not so much be dumb, but hooked and unable to get a fix

[@feraltaco4783]

I never got hooked but damn did I do some weird things. Leaving food in the microwave. Moving things. Falling asleep in the middle of whatever. Had to lay myself down immediately after I took it at night.

[@KitKat10281]

​@feraltaco4783 I was on ambien for a while and started doing sleepwalking-type stuff. I had tried to eat a whole box of cereal in one sitting, tried to cook a full 3-course meal, and one time, my ex had to take my keys out of my hands, as I tried to leave IN MY CAR - all fully asleep. That was the last time that I ever took ambien! 😂😮

[@oldwoman5942]

Not a cop but …..a guy in my town robbed the local grocery store, with a stick…a stick! Plus he didn’t wear a mask, plus both of his parents worked at the store, plus he had been going to the store since he was a child….plus he left the store, walked across the street and entered his house while the people in the store watched. He was very high and very stupid.

[@adammullarkey4996]

I was watching a UK cop show the other day, one of those where they basically put a cameraman in the back of the police car. Anyway, they pull over this guy and he's very clearly under the influence of something. They search him and find a bag of white powder in his pocket. One of the cops makes a comment about how they found a "bag of crack cocaine." The guy defends himself by saying that it's not crack, just regular coke (both are Class A and get the same penalty for possession). When that doesn't work, he tries his second defence. He explains that he bought the drugs the weekend before, and put them in his pocket. He goes on to explain that he accidentally put on the trousers with the coke the morning he was caught, and that he meant to put on a different pair. So, to summarise, he tries to defend himself by saying he had a different illegal drug, and then by saying he put on the wrong pair of trousers that morning.

[@Suilimani]

Not a cop but my dad was. he told me a story about a friend who was having a chat with a couple of folks. He walked his route no car, they challenged him to a race cause they were convinced they were faster. Well they start running and suddenly the call goes out over dads radio to get to so and so there’s a cop being chased by 2 people. People thought the cop was running away from the guys and called 911.

[@johnmckown1267]

for the last video; I'm 70. I don't have time left to mess with that situation. After over 50 years of driving, I know how to use the reverse gear. And it doesn't "insult my manhood" to be considerate.

[@ErikZarins]

*THAT FINAL STORY WAS SO DAMN HYSTERICAL* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nicholasfarrell5981]

Story 6 sounds like something that would get cut out of a sitcom for being too ridiculous.

[@renakunisaki]

I just looked it up and apparently ducks can indeed snore.

[@johnmckown1267]

Try pigeons! Where was a flock of then nesting on my neighbor's roof near my bedroom. I still hate those flying rats. No snoring, cooing.

[@steve5772]

Friend of mine has a computer repair shop. Any good looking boxes that parts come in go on top of the cabinets in the shop as decoration. When people paid for parts for repair jobs up front, he would pin the cash to the job sheet and put it on the wall out the back so he knew the customer had already paid. One night, his shop got broken into, they made a complete mess of the front, went in the back, looked all around, didn't see the cash pinned up all over the wall, but stole a couple of broken laptops. 20 minutes later, they came back and stole as many of the empty display boxes off the tops of the cabinets as they could carry.

[@AramatiPaz]

Great 😂

[@blissfullycat02]

From NY, had a family member who went down to help at Ground Zero (9/11) and told me that there were a handful of people who tried to get in and steal things from the areas around there. Not only is that so messed up but there were also hundreds of officers and others helping, why would you even try with that many witnesses?!...

[@jakepullman4914]

I'd assume they were too distracted saving lives to care about criminals. Doesn't keep it from being messed up though.

[@CoolCademMAnimates-fz1ui]

My grandfather told me this. One day when he was 5 years old he was evacuated from his home because of a mass shooting. A cafe owner that lived right at the bottom of the hill my grandfather’s house was on, and was the nicest guy ever, had locked up because these German sailors threatened to kill him. The janitor, or whatever you want to call it, knocked on the door to clean the cafe early in the morning and the cafe owner didn’t answer because of the threats. The janitor resorts to calling the police and telling them that the owner killed his son which led to an officer breaking into the cafe through a ladder and open window without a warrant. The cafe owner gets scared, shoots the officer through the door and then the police department is told the cafe owner killed an officer. This turned into the cafe owner hysterically firing at the officers who were trying to kill him and break into his home. The owner, his son and the first cop were killed and a fire fighter was shot in the arm but survived. Some of the gunshots hit my grandfather’s house. The police department there kept it a secret for 60 years and until then, they did everything they could to try and make it seem like the cafe owner’s fault.

[@TracksideProd758]

"The janitor resorts to calling the police and telling them that the owner killed his son" "The owner, his son and the first cop were killed and a fire fighter was shot in the arm but survived." The police department there kept it a secret for 60 years and until then, they did everything they could to try and make it seem like the cafe owner’s fault." This is a damn rollercoaster of emotions, and I don't really know how to respond to all that.

[@CoolCademMAnimates-fz1ui]

@@TracksideProd758 yeah… I get that. It was a terrible thing that never should have happened.

[@nileprimewastaken]

that cafe owner was probably traumatized for the rest of their life this is one of those events where no one person can really be at fault because there was a series of events, but if it was anyone it was probably the janitor

[@CoolCademMAnimates-fz1ui]

@@nileprimewastaken there was no “rest of his life”. The cafe owner and his son died.

[@CoolCademMAnimates-fz1ui]

Update to anyone interested: My grandmother met an RCMP officer who was on duty when this happened. He’s in his 80s or 90s but when she asked him about it, he said he’d rather not bring it up because he has been trying to forget about it for decades since it happened.

[@onionbubs386]

My husband works as a security guard for a Target warehouse. The employees are told about the security cameras when they start and they are not at all difficult to spot, and yet that doesn't stop multiple people from stealing products directly in front of the camera. He's a little disappointed that some of them aren't even at least *trying* to hide it. And they keep super close track of inventory too and who's working where at what time, so even if they do it away from the camera, they still always end up getting caught. Usually they steal more costly things like iPhones or Apple airtags, but one dude thought it was worth risking his job over like $30 worth of Airheads candies. He didn't even use a box cutter to open the packaging, just ripped the damn thing open and left the box lying on the ground.

[@RayneSaltair]

My favorite who gave you a license story is from about 23 years ago. I used to work for a university in their grants dept. I'm on lunch, with my head down, sitting in my car which is turned off, with the window open. Someone is beeping I look up it's some kid sitting in front of me. I go back to my book. About 10 minutes of beeping later, idiot decides to yell, are you leaving? I yell back NO and again go back to my book.

[@ARKdeEREH]

In 2020 when the pandemic began, the governor of my state used executive authority to enhance the penalties of a variety of criminal offenses to discourage crime during the emergency pandemic period. I'm a librarian and a woman was caught using a sharpie to draw stick figures on the front door of the library where I worked. She did that shortly after the governor's crime enhancement order went into effect. The police were called, but the library director thought jail time was too extreme for such a minor offense, so she didn't press charges and the vandal was let off with a warning. We heard that less than a week later the same woman was caught drawing stick figures on the state capitol building elsewhere in our same city. That time, the vandal was arrested and jailed. I don't know what the final outcome of the case was though.

[@ElizabethCherryBlossom]

If you know the lady's name, maybe you could search her up

[@ARKdeEREH]

@@ElizabethCherryBlossom I knew her name at the time, but I don't remember it now. There were just SO many crazy patrons at that library that it is hard to remember them all. I have a nearly 400-page list of weird things that patrons did or asked, mostly during the pandemic.

[@The_OwO_Shogun]

@@ARKdeEREHtell us a few, pretty please.

[@tsm688]

but it remained a mystery

[@KaiHenningsen]

@@tsm688 It's terrifying how many results come up for a Google search of "lady jailed defacing state capitol".

[@Icantthinkofaname1.]

My parents told me that when we lived in London the people who lived under us (I think) were burgled, but they didn't steal any valuable devices like phones, the tv etc but they did steal a camera. Maybe they were a very committed photographer?

[@bdpickett]

Clearly the camera contained the one piece of evidence that would solve the whole case. (Whatever that case was.)

[@achimsinn6189]

Not a cop, but when I did mandatory military service, we had THAT guy in our unit.THAT guy means the kind of guy who keeps on getting himseld into trouble with ridiculous actions for ridiculous reasons. Like laying down in the bushes and falling asleep during a training march - getting him in the brigg for 1 day, Talking bad to officers several times earning him additional watches, duties and penalty chores. Refusing to do those chores and/or not doing them properly earning him another day in th brigg. etc. The final sttraw was when he actually shot a rabbit while being on patrol, bringing him back to the watchpost and requesting that somebody would start a fire to cook it. Our commander tried his best to give him a chance and keep MP out of the situation so he was put in the brigg for 2 weeks - the longest time that one could be sentenced to without MP being involved where I live. First day after those two weeks the guy went awol, stole a truck, ran that truck into the ditch after like 3 kilometers, ran away from the accidant and caused a police search to be started for him as nobody knew whether or not he is OK or injured. When they got him in the local pub, he claimed he was running from the russian mafia as they would have sent assasins to kill him. IDK what happened to him afterwards, but as now police and subsequently military police was involved, he was being taken to prison at least for further investigation.

[@lucykitsune4619]

Look dude if you're gonna be a drug dealer, you should have the most nondescript car you can possibly get!

[@MasterHigure]

Story 18: There is a classic Norwegian comedy show (Fleksnes) where a standoff like this is the premise of an entire episode (albeit on a narrow countryside road rather than a parking lot).

[@KaiHenningsen]

I experienced such a situation. At the time I did some programming for the music collection of a lawyer, and he had just arrived to take me to his home (I don't drive). Now the street I live on is just wide enough for two lanes, except one lane (on alternating sides) is reserved for parking, so you have effectively one lane, with a bit of passing room where the free lane switches sides - a bit of a slalom run. This works fine for the typical low traffic. Only at that moment, there were a number of cars following behind us ... and a number of cars coming towards us. The first two enter the passing space and stop because the rest of the lane is already filled with cars. Oops. Pretty much nobody can move, except the last cars in either direction. Some irritated waving and honking. The lawyer leans back and does an "I have time". Took a few minutes, until the oncoming cars (I believe they were fewer than behind us, but it's been decades and I could misremember) gave up and reversed (a short distance) to the start of the street, where there's a short stretch of two full lanes, and we can exit.

[@kricku]

Freaking Fleksnes

[@jaredcrabb]

Story 3: Maybe for before he breaks the law?

[@Maria-ok7oe]

I remember a story on the Dutch news where robbers tried to rob a store early in the morning and were disappointed at the amount of money. An employee then suggested they come back around closing time when there had been a whole day of selling and the guys left without taking anything. The employee called the cops that there might be a robbery that evening in their store and sure enough, 5 minutes after closing time, the robbers returned to get their money. Of course, they did meet a whole squad of cops and were arrested but its still funny how stupid some people can be.

[@anjachan]

he told his name ... amazing 😂

[@WomanRoaring]

In college for my law class we had to go and observe court for a day. I saw the proceedings of a 20 something guy who along with a friend beat up a guy walking down the street because of the color shirt (a uniform) he was wearing. So when they found out the guy wasn’t a gang member they went to his apartment and tried to pay for his dental bill in exchange for him not going to the police. Dude totally called the police and they were arrested. They were in court that day because 1 of the guys hadn’t finished his community service, he had 40hrs to do and had only recently finished 5 so the judge threw him back in jail. His lawyer said, oh he did another 2hrs yesterday but it’s not on the record yet, judge said, it wasn’t enough effort since he had a whole year and counting that it was only 7hrs. I remember thinking what a moron.

[@SilverStarHeggisist]

Corvettes and Pickup trucks, The Universal duchebag mobiles. I say this as someone who drives a lifted truck and gets annoyed at the other truck guys who give us a bad name.

[@jaycooper2812]

Not a cop but a store employee. In our store entry there was a bank on one side and a small satellite police station on the other. 2 idiots tried to rob the bank one day and burst through the doorway turned left and fired a shotgun onto the ceiling shouting that it was a robbery. They promptly both were shot. The idiots turned left into the police station instead of right into the bank and fired shots into the criling before realizing their mistake. They opened fire in a police station during shift change when there was 20 cops in the building. The police laughed about it for months. One guy was killed and the other got a 70 year prison sentance.

[@Chuckf66]

The drunk brake light driver reminds me of Tubbs in The League Of Gentlemen: "We didn't burn him!"

[@jacekatalakis8316]

I've so many from one schoolfriend who managed to get roasted by the guy he was robbing. So, the guy decided he needed money and to commit armed robbery. One or two problems. 1. He was robbing a bar where he's a regular 2. No mask 3. He left the take on the bar and fled. Went right back in past builders to get the take and was promptly detained while the police showed up Same guy then called the bar for a reference to put on his CV while applying for a job when out of jail. This guy. Most recent was on GTA Online, and he was bragging about his life of real crime. I just told the lobby what he did. He threatened to come deal with me. I told him look, name, you failed at armed robbery. You'll either be defeated by a locked door or punch yourself in the face when trying to hit me. Cue roasting from lobby and much mockery whenever he spoke up on that lobby. The same guy then threw a giant rage fit because he repeated the trick from up there, in the game. It's hard to do since the game all but automatically gives you the money. But no, then soemone else was all oh, sweet, I'll take the free money. Guy chases down the thief and goes to shoot him. No bullets. Guy gets orbital cannoned and rage quits saying we are all mean to him. Bonus, This is the same moron who tried to do the pump fuel and drive off without paying one. Problem, he drives a petrol car. He put diesel in it and the car just rolled to a halt after a few feet. The guy was yelling at the cashier tha they sold broken petrol and he wanted his money back. Cue cashier going but you didn't pay for it...t

[@jakepullman4914]

19:00 I don't know which was the worse waste of time, the stubborn drivers or the guy relating the story. It's like he had a three minute speech assigned to him but only a thirty second story.

[@philliplopez8745]

Typically it is their Sargent.

[@shaydes-]

new fear unlocked, being off about my age

[@tsm688]

don't commit a felony involving your age and you'll be fine

[@koltshaw3158]

I actually have one similar, guy came into the store I work at with a shotgun, and long story short, while the guy was getting arrested, there was his I.d card laying right on the floor. Also, he walked there, no vehicle or getaway plan

[@Elsneakakaze]

That last story was longwinded as heck and provided about 100 details that were not relevant to the story at all.

[@celestinemorningstar4851]

I'd be worried about the dude in story 10 accidentally overdosing, considering he was taking a bunch of sleep meds.

[@andacondanation1933]

Story 16 actually made me laugh out loud. People are strange...

[@bubzilla6137]

Story 1: Pizza guy may have stuck around because he didn't want the pizza coming out of his paycheck. I'm not sure if that's a thing for real, or maybe only certain places, but I saw that online somewhere once. A pizza guy had to pay for a delivery the person changed their mind about or something like that. Or maybe he just really wanted a tip! 🙂

[@stephenhendrie65]

Smashing a bus stop…so I arrest them. Didn’t expect the poster to be an officer 😂😂

[@randycarter2001]

From the parking lot story. "Upon realizing that the only crime that was being committed was that both of these guys could possibly reproduce" Ain't it the truth. ROTFL.

[@SirberusKhaos]

if you get pulled over before the car is in the system as stolen, having your license increases your chance of talking your way into being released. also drive safely an legally in a stolen ca ("drive it like you stole it" is how you draw attention to what should be a quick, silent crime where you vanish into the sunset) disclaimer, I am no a lawyer, or a car thief.

[@xboxgamer23904]

I lost brain cells over number 16 like holy crap thats stupid.

[@Einimas]

A guy in our rental house "wondered in to the garage" my roommate saw him and started confronting. His excuse was: I was looking for some water. We got our clothes drying outside stolen at that rental place...........

[@FizzieWebb]

1:54 Because.. if the car hasn't been reported stolen and gets pulled over for say an RBT, one of the first things cops say is "License and registration." Be a pretty shitty way to get busted after taking a car.

[@cmtippens9209]

Brings to mind the unsightly, nay, ugliest trend that's becoming more and more popular every day - full face & head tattoos. I cannot, for the life of me, understand how people whose chosen "career" involves illegal activities of all sorts think that making the most visible part of their anatomy into a one of a kind billboard as ideal. I mean, even the most timid or scared victim will be able to recall what you look like when you've got a cranium covered in ink. You're not going to blend into most crowds very easily. And with security cameras just about everywhere, your highly decorated pate will be photographed at some point which means you'll be in the hoosegow sooner rather than later.

[@steve5772]

My area manager walked up behind someone in store, called them by name, reminded them that they are barred and told them to leave. They asked the area manager how he knew that was their name. "you've got it tattooed on the back of your neck"

[@Link-from-hyrule]

Surprised that every story was not from Florida

[@gingermfc1048]

You should do one about sex workers and the weirdest requests they have encountered. Guarantee it will be interesting. People are very weird. No kink shaming but yeah, lots of interesting stuff for sure. Love your content

[@wolcek]

Story 15: guy was counting in C, the cop was counting in Pascal.

[@kathi1245]

Me and my best friend were witnesses to this but it so funny. We were walking to our bus stop and we see these guys shaking some vending machines trying to get the drinks and stuff from them. We get to our bus stop and 5 minutes later, we see the guys split up and scarper, one guy thinks he's got away with it so he stops running and casually walks across the street when he gets tackled to the ground and cuffed. Now me and my friend are in a state of shock at how quick this police officer managed get the guy to the floor and then cuff him. He looks up and sees us and nonchalantly goes "alright ladies" before pulling the guy up. We were in stitches at that and our bus literally pulled up a minute later so we never got to see the final outcome but that is one of our favourite stories to tell

[@DavidWsTrainVideos]

Story 4: made me laugh out loud….

[@yin-sin]

Not my story nor a criminal One of dad’s classmates locked keys out of a car that wasn’t his and the car was broken down. He went back to the high school and some friends (my dad being one of them) headed back to the truck. The guy opened the car with a wire and a police car drove by and the guy put his fingers out like a gun. Once the truck was unlocked and they were back at the high school, a bunch of police cars showed up and the officers had their guns drawn. The “car jacker” got out of the car and ran. This was late 70’s early 80’s and my dad and the other guys in the car called the guy a “dumbass”.

[@GraysonLemon]

That last story is so funny

[@Chuckf66]

The sleeping pill thief! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[@BlueLordStan]

The last story kinda got me laughing because I do drive a pickup, but I prefer to drive a car just because how big those trucks can get but if the driver that big pickup could was paying attention he could have easilyeasily just wait until the cars are cleared before he made a big wide turn.

[@user-bv1fw9ns2p]

Oh UnderSparked I think you should have watched Be Amazed & Infographic & America's dumbest criminals LOL!!!

[@QueenMizu]

15:15 thats a bit rude. Not even a bit thats hella rude. Robberies happen everywhere 🫤 so curious what type of apartment building do you think it is

[@ethan4237]

They can and do happen anywhere, but I’d hazard a guess that a local police officer would be pretty up to speed on what crimes and their frequency tend to happen in certain parts of their jurisdiction. It may sound rude, but, that doesn’t mean it isn’t accurate.

[@QueenMizu]

@@ethan4237 my comment is referring to what under sparked said at the timestamp...

[@cecewaters5765]

Or he just wanted to sleep

[@Priuloch]

That last one, the Truck is already half-way through the turn and its facing Head On in the cars lane, blocking the entire interseciton for any 3rd party? Truck should have right of way. Corvet should back up.

[@kadeng6528]

The last one reminded me of when I was 15 and at a concert and a middle aged man and his wife started screaming in my face that I was blocking there view when I went into the aisle (I was in the front row of bleachers I had an aisle seat and they were on the other side in the second row with aisle seats) to get a video of the whole arena quick (literally 30 seconds). They were 40 something's screaming at a 15 year old girl to get better seats next time. The man even ran off to get security while the wife screamed in my face more. I started crying because well I was 15 and being screamed at and when the guy came back with security they were demanding I get kicked out and the security guy just looked at me like he hated his life and asked me to stay out of the aisle. Funniest part is the security guy stood where I was "blocking their view" for the rest of the concert (I was the second person they had screamed at for nothing and security was fed up). Why are middle aged people so angry all the time?

[@robinkelly1770]

Last story In Australia land open to and used by the public is a public road under the definition of the motor vehicle and transport acts

[@IShy2]

I saw these 4 guys with a dog change a "No Trespassing" sign and than they just walked on in This is a joke :/

[@daynajones757]

My best friend is the dumb one. Got pulled over by SLED they said apparently I was buying 🍃🍃🍃 from a gas station which sounds absolutely stupid I know where to get the stuff if I needed it and not in public 💀 I guess somebody called them and told them that because I had A LOT of enemies at the time they were delusional even had my car window busted & car spray painted took care of it fast though so they could feel stupid seeing me drive through town with a fixed car the same day/week. Anyways when I got pulled over they took me out the car and brought me to the hood of their vehicle to ask me questions & while he’s getting my information down my best friend jumps out of the car and THROWS THE BLUNT SHE WAS ROLLING UNDER MY CAR 😭😭😭 and starts speed walking up to us and another officer (there were like 3 SLED cars) started yelling at her to get back and nobody asked her to get out of the car and he notices the 🍃🍃 she tossed under my car and he said “PICK THAT SHIT UP” 😭😭🤣🤣🤣 yoo she ended up in handcuffs because they found her sleep medication in a ziplock bag but it was prescribed to her and everybody had to go home with their parents except for me. They didn’t take my cigarettes though but I’ve quit them since then.

[@villiamanimelover]

Ok, my mind did a fucking brain fart on Story 4. So, depending on where the high schooler was (Let's say, the U.S.), if the 3 years is the key info here, and drinking age being 21, let see... 21 - 3 = 18 years old is most likely the kid's age... the age of the fake ID mentioned he was born 2001, which is 3 years younger than he should be, so he was most likely born on 1998, + 18 = 2016, the year he tried this stupid shit. (Yea, I'm just as dumb 😅)

[@renovationasmr]

You sound like edvasian! It’s been bugging me who you sounded like!

[@fractalgem]

Apparently zax are real. (Last story)

[@jy246u3]

Story 17. I don’t get it, what kind of apt building…?

[@craigwatt1303]

mmmmmm international pancakes

[@elchappo1320]

Unalive?

[@Bella-hk3ds]

15:18 19:34 21:11

[@Codm22712]

Im not the forest one here buy I’m the first one to comment that has to count for something oh plus I’m the 5th person to like

[@biggie2568]

nobody cares that you're first & fifth

[@elhazthorn918]

It took me a while to realize what you were trying to say.

[@Codm22712]

@@elhazthorn918yeah I’m just now realizing that there’s some mistakes in my first comment

[@MoleculesAndMinecraft]

Sorry if this is annoying, it's meant to be helpful. "I'm not the first one here, but I'm the first one to comment. That has to count for something. Oh, plus I'm the 5th person to like." Feel free to copy and paste.

[@rinakeuchel1668]

2 ads every minute?? no thanks

[@empereurloutre]

Allow me to present to you Adblock or any adblocker. (It is free)

[@1tz_Rav3n]

8th comment! (I think)

[@beckyreinert137]

second to comment lessgo

[@damocles8417]

3:40 cop admits someone premeditated a crime and then claimed he had no authority to arrest the perp. I’m sorry but you lost me there. This video gets a down-vote. That was a crime, and should have been prosecuted.