Costume College 2019 || The Introvert's Guide (ft. Bernadette Banner)

[@CathyHay]

Thank you for your patience, everyone! This is my longest and most complex video to date, and it was a labour of love. Many thanks to my KZbin coach, a certain Ms Banner, who cheered me on, gave me valuable feedback, and saw me through to the final upload! Oh, and btw, the pants with suspenders that everyone's asking about: www.emmydesign.se/en/webshop/shop-by-collection/spring-summer-2019/pants-jumpsuits/the-miss-fancy-pants-slacks-black.html

[@TessaOswin]

Cathy Hay if I may ask. Knowing people can really help me with the stress as they can help me understand the social conversations of the event. If you wanted to find internet friends before. Where would you go to find them?

[@CathyHay]

@@TessaOswin Great question! We answered this exact question in @morgandonner's Q&A video last week, in much more detail than I can here!

[@elizabethlovell9997]

What a wonderful book! My grandfather was born in about 1895 I think, and brought up in Lincolnshire. I cannot wait to buy the book for myself! Thank you for highlighting it.

[@TessaOswin]

Cathy Hay thank you.

[@FaerieDust]

Thank you SO MUCH for the link!! It's quite a challenge for me to find pants I like in my large sizes, especially ones that aren't fast fashion - I was so happy to see that these (and many more on the site) come in larger sizes! I'm quite in love with the brown wool/silk blend ones...

[@shaidabegum.]

Every time Cathy and Bernadette put their faces together i think they're mother and daughter. They look alike. Your friendship gives me warmth.

[@lindapesnell5723]

Cathy looks too young to be Bernadette’s mother. They are more like sisters. ❤️

[@angee9996]

I'm still convinced that they are the same person... Though I haven't yet come to the conclusion which one of them is the time traveler

[@dcinrb8538]

Sisters ♥️ My sisters are 22 & 18 years my senior. A family friend commented on how we don't look alike but we each resemble our mother(?) Hmmm, what is this woman insinuating about our parentage...

[@designdoctor247]

I just found Bernadette's channel! This video just popped up. wow. I felt the same way... thought they were mother and daughter.

[@OpheliaOphelia1788]

I'll be honest, I'm a new viewer, I thought they were partners (as in girlfriends)

[@shepherdessinthefray]

"Not that we don't want to see people, but that we want to see people strategically." - introversion in a nutshell. #relatable

[@BuchanvanVeen]

I want a T-shirt with that text!

[@wandering_in_the_woods]

Basically introverts in a nutshell

[@amandaspence8167]

Yes! For me part of the stress is dealing with all those feelings coming at me at once. I pick up on other peoples’ feelings and it is exhausting.

[@super_siri]

SO RELATABLE!!! And I'm an extroverted introvert, I like people and being around them, but I can still get overwhelmed, and need way more time to myself than non introverts.

[@super_siri]

@@amandaspence8167 Being an introverted empath is the WORST! I actually had a panic attack at a party because I was unaware of how much of an empath I was, and everyone at the very large party I was at were basically drunk, so their emotions were more open than they normally would be.

[@katieyeti4420]

Oh Bernadette's face when you both realised it was over and you both have to go your separate ways again. Never mind the talent both of you have, you're friendship goals encapsulated in two wonderful people. I need to call my bestie now. I'm not crying, you're crying.

[@hopenield8234]

Cathy and Bernadette are transatlantic twins!

[@DebraKadabra]

@@hopenield8234 I'm thoroughly convinced that the lovely Bernadette is a time-travelled, equally lovely Cathy. They're not twins - they're the same person.

[@TayrnsTime]

I adore Cathy and Bernadette in the same videos and hope they are staying in touch during the pandemic.

[@JenniferGallion]

I just adore the way you and Bernadette look at each other. There's such warmth and love between you two. :)

[@toniroche-simmons2238]

The friendship between you two is awesome. The closeness between you two. You must have known each other in another life! Xx

[@Victoria-hs5bm]

I’m late but absolutely this. I want what they have. Haha

[@jotsntittles5783]

@@Victoria-hs5bm I too - that special someone (of the same sex that is similar to me, of whom I get and they get me)

[@loganj.harrison6315]

Its a sister like kind of bond that is just extremely comforting

[@Sailor_S]

I think the amount of time you can spend with Bernadette compaired to everyone/everything else really captures how introverts have different levels of...tolerance? to stimulation from outside sources.

[@ragnkja]

Spending time with one person you know is definitely different than spending times with lots of people you don't know all that well, especially when that person is also an introvert and doesn't mind if the two of you just sit quietly together, doing your own things.

[@AliceinDisneyWorld1125]

The way I've described it to my boyfriend is it's having a gas tank, and some people take way more gas to deal with than others. (And then once you run out you have to go and hide by yourself until it refills) Bernadette doesn't use up as much of Cathy's gas as an entire convention full of people.

[@roseleathem2884]

Ok so I finally get it. After months of watching everyone and being like omg that's so cool i wish i knew how to sew or had the patience to complete a project I took it upon myself to go out and find a pattern so i could use some fabric that mum had that i loved. And I get it, the excitement of having made something that is wearable is amazing. It's not historical and certainly not hand sewn but it's a start and I'm proud of it. The first item of clothing I've ever made and will most certainly not be the last.

[@sc0ttishlass]

CONGRATULATIONS ! It is an amazing feeling, right?! To create something, to alter it to your own desires and shape and then wearing it.

[@canucknancy4257]

Awesome job. That first leap of faith is always the hardest. Well done!

[@mmw55122]

Wonderful! You GO!!

[@andinarizkia]

Your comment gave me courage to statt sewing for myself. I dream of having a good quality coat with super material that will last me decades, but buying it sounds impossible with my current condition as a college student. I can, however, save up for the wool/tweed fabric that I want and will certainly try to hand sew it once I'm comfortable enough to handle a harder project. Thank you!

[@toniroche-simmons2238]

I'm late in the game in commenting on your comment but I too remember the first time I ever sewed something that I could wear! It was in the early 80s and I made a top for myself out of a bed sheet!! It was bright yellow lol and I loved it. Since then I've made a piece here and there. But I've always given up because I never thought I was good enough. This time I've made myself a 20s style "one hour dress" that I drafted myself. And I made it from a single duvet cover!! Watching Bernadette and Cathy and a couple of other people who I love watching, I have decided not to buy any more brand new clothes from stores. But I will buy from charity shops and online that pre owned. Xx

[@jennyormrod2288]

As a fellow introvert, thank you for all of the tips and tricks. I sometimes feel like I'm surrounded by extroverts who don't understand that sometimes after a full day at work surrounded by people I don't always want to see anyone. I also get many people saying things like:- "Oh you're too young to be tired!", "Oh you can't possibly know what tiredness is, you don't have children or a husband!" "Oh are you sure you should live alone? We don't want you becoming a hermit!" I'm extremely grateful that there are people like you who assure me that being an introvert is normal and that it's okay to not want to be around people all the time. Thank you.

[@AH-cy4md]

Introverts unite! We’re here We’re uncomfortable And we want to go home (or back to our rooms)! But seriously, this was great. Once you accept yourself as an introvert and/or highly sensitive person, you can more easily enjoy socializing in small bits, leaving when you’ve had enough, and not feel like a weirdo. 🥰☮️

[@AgentPedestrian]

"Nope! It's gone." I have never felt such relief in relating to a person. If you can't chase the thought. It has to come to you. No remorse just carry on. As a person with ADHD this happens to me all the time. Often mid sentence. Thank you for putting that in the video.

[@CathyHay]

It's good to let go! If it's important it'll come back to you. I'm so glad that resonated!

[@SarahBent]

This is really great. I'm an ambivert, but I also have chronic pain and fatigue. This way of setting goals and breaks works really well for those of us with Chronic illness as well.

[@JNPrettyOnTop]

Sarah Bent Yes, this right here!! Same, same. 💜💜💜

[@angellinafosse1936]

I just wish I could figure out the balance between between too much and too little. I seem to over do things and make my health worse.

[@oliviahitz6602]

I hope everyone finds someone who looks at them the way Bernadette looks at Cathy. 17:56

[@cryingeyeslove]

13.09 too

[@erin-eh2sl]

whenever I feel lonely or need a friend, I just come to costube. What a wonderful group of people you all are.

[@mollykatew5655]

I just smiled for 30 minutes straight.

[@elizabethlinehan2576]

Me too!

[@antonstroms407]

Couldn't have said it better =)

[@sywilliams]

Ditto!

[@lasphynge8001]

"I'm extremely chilled out... or just tired, I have no idea." I relate, that's totally me! I need lots of sleep and there's a threshold of sleep deprivation, which I attain fairly quickly, beyond which I like to say "too tired to get upset". Always see the silver lining, I guess! But more seriously, lovely vlog, you did an awesome job at sharing the experience! Thank you!

[@ukehimesama]

The high floor thing is an unlikely tip, but as someone who when tired tends to fixate on annoying noises it would be a big snapping point for me. I think knowing those little things about yourself is really important when you are going to be pushing yourself. Knowing when it's time to hide out in the toilet to catch your breath.

[@kbrandt4015]

I'm an introvert and I'm going to use the phrase "concentrate the people-ing" from now on!!! LOL!!

[@michelleross9782]

I so wish you & Bernadette lived a little closer at least to do a project together. Maybe reconstructing a Dior Haute Couture gown to see what historical ideas & practices were used. Maybe to do an amazing reconstruction of a French or English garment of nobility. (Coronation or Wedding garments)

[@APrimbun]

Just started watching but I have to say I loved that "we've successfully peopled" comment. It's so me. 🙂 So I've now watched the entire video and I can only say that you distilled everything I've learned in my entire life on coping as an introvert in a world that doesn't necessarily suit our style. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I intend to share it to some people who don't give a hoot about costuming/historical dress but are also introverts. It's that good, in my opinion. Thank you!

[@lotuswildflowers]

Thank you for making the time to make this for us! I love the camaraderie you share with Bernadette (it was her obvious love for you that pushed me here where I could fall in love with you too). I am not a historical costumer but it seems like an amazing little world and I love peeking into it with you.

[@JNPrettyOnTop]

lotuswildflowers This. 💜💜💜

[@TheAgeofFabulous]

I’m an extroverted introvert. I can do presentations and speeches but once I’m done, I need my room and down time. I have a group of online girlfriends, we’ve been together for 12 years, and we have an annual get together. Often there is 4 to a room, I can only do ONE other person at most and that person must be a fellow introvert. And they know that I only do one group event a day. That’s it. Also, Cathy, I could listen to your voice allllllll day long. I don’t do ASMR but your voice is magical.

[@tanvikhare9710]

So you're a confident introvert. Good for you😁

[@brissygirl4997]

If I'm ever in a room full of people I don't know, I'm usually sitting off to the side not talking to anyone. I don't find being around people particularly difficult, but I don't go out of my way to make conversation and interact with people. Thank you Cathy for sharing your knowledge and experience on how to tackle such big events.

[@angelal6700]

Or DragonCon, Atlanta GA. Try going in costume, found it freed me from the shyness stapling my lips together.

[@bonniehyden962]

Ms. Cathy...I do believe this Texas Girl has fallen in love with you, M'am. You and Bernadette are such a beautiful pair of human beings. I do believe I'd pay money to have the chance to hang out with the two of you...even though I am not anywhere near as seriously interested in sewing or historic clothing as the two of you. I do believe, though, I shall have to put the possibility of visiting you on my Bucket List. ...for no other reason than to enjoy a cup of tea and some quiet time with you, soaking up some wisdom and building an honest relationship. You are a rare human, Ms. Cathy. Rare and real. Thank you for being just who you are. (deep curtsy)

[@jamessamuel1255]

Bonnie Hyden I couldn't agree more. Such a genuine and intelligent and beautiful character with a creative mind like no other

[@DebraKadabra]

Howdy, fellow Texan here! I wholeheartedly agree. I don't know how, but I fell into the rabbit hole with Bernadette's videos, then Marika (Enchanted Rose Costumes), then Noelle (Costuming Drama), and then Cathy and Morgan. I've never sewn anything seriously beyond ripping the seams from a Hallowe'en mask to restitch it back up into a cap of sorts... and thanks to The Peacock Dress I've done some digging and I have two "pets" - the lovely red and black jump dress Kate Winslet wore as Rose in Titanic (I'm a fan of the old ocean liners and the Edwardian era is my jam) and just literally within the last few days Worth's 1898 Butterfly Gown that was donated by J. P. Morgan's longest surviving child Frances Tracy Morgan Pennoyer to The Met in New York City (which I've been to - once, when I went on a lovely weekend getaway in 2015). I don't know why I resonate with these lovely ladies and the OG haute couture but I do. It reminds me of a simpler time, and reaffirms a lot of things that I believe spiritually. I'm rambling and teary-eyed, but I just wanted to drop my tuppence to thank Cathy for being who she is. You are a beacon to this more introverted ambivert. x

[@skully6223]

I agree as well about the paying money to hang out with the two of them. I'd be ok just sitting in the corner listening to their conversations or soaking up Cathy's wonderful advice.

[@celiahaddon4087]

Thank you Cathy for this wonderful guide for introverts. I have booked onto a sewing retreat weekend in October and I am already feeling anxious about it. Your video made me realise that it’s the “peopling” that worries me. Setting my objectives in advance will be really helpful I’m sure. Your advice is always pertinent and constructive. I’m a UK sewist but I am very much alone with my hobby/obsession. I feel better about that when I watch you.

[@thebarefoottealady]

I love that you left the documentation of the specific events to others and focused more on the time spent in your room decompressing. This is how I handle the scientific conferences I attend for work and it’s so necessary.

[@SuperMrsMar]

19:15, yay, that is me in the back in the blue dress! My roommate had gone to bed early and I found myself alone and not knowing anyone, but not willing to call it a night yet. I saw this lady sitting by herself and asked to sit with her. I figured I would either end up taking a break and rest, or striking up a conversation. The latter happened and I ended up making a new friend. As much as I loved the classes, it always feels so good to be surrounded by so many wonderful, like-minded women. Thank you for this video and for the big hug when I got up the nerve to meet you!

[@CathyHay]

It was so lovely to meet you! Ooh, tell me your IG and I'll put you in the description!

[@SuperMrsMar]

@@CathyHay @the_dancing_mare Hopefully I wrote that right

[@aestheticallyaspiring2692]

A 30min vlog from Cathy Hay!? What have we done to deserve such sublime content!?😍 your videos are spectacular, and truly uplift my mood when I need it most, thank you💕

[@stayingmyself]

Watching you and Bernadette interact is so wholesome and makes me incredibly happy :)

[@louisechristinelarsen2248]

Such a beautiful and wise guide on how to get the most out of life while protecting ourselves within. We introverts take out time to do our very best when we do a talk or lecture, and as we do not tell anyone, it does so good seeing you, sharing your experience. Thank you so much!

[@lunamorte155]

I don’t know why but I felt quite emotional at the end of this video. It was done beautifully and I know that next year I’ll be there because no matter what I can do this. Love from Missouri. Thanks Cathy!

[@lydiaderhake2532]

"This is the point where I start tidying."

[@e.urbach7780]

What great advice! I tried some similar techniques this year, too, after being too tired to do even the things I thought I could do, last year. I brought my electric kettle and a small bottle of milk to the hotel for the first time, after getting tired of the coffee-scented tea with powdered creamer that I made in the hotel room last year, and going back to my room for a cup of tea in the middle of the afternoon really helped me rest. The tip about ordering room service so that you can have a real cup and saucer, though, is genius! Last year I called the front desk and asked them to bring a cup and saucer to my room (because they wouldn't let you take them out of the dining room or the Friday Night Social room), and they brought more styrofoam cups! The other main thing that I did this year, that saved my energy and sanity, was to wear regular daywear (jeans and T-shirts, in my case) to classes on at least one day, only make one completely new costume for the whole weekend, and wear old costumes the rest of the time. I definitely recommend it!

[@anon2129]

Thanks for making it easier for introverts that are only just joining the community and aren't sure how to go about it.

[@kottaraislapsi]

The connection you and Bernadette have is just overly heartwarming and you just absolutely saved my horrible, miserable, depressed day. Thank you.

[@peanutsandberrys]

I never met you but from this video you seem like the nicest and most loveliest person to be around. I am sure everyone could be happy to have a Cathy in their live. Lots of love from Germany!

[@alabamalisa3872]

"it's possible to be proud of your accomplishments without it being perfect" thank you. I just started sewing again last year. Not doing a comparison to what I see is hard. Social media makes learning easier but getting discuraged easier also.

[@immoralq]

I am watching this as i rather clumsily sew frogs onto a brocade waistcoat that I made for my partner. It is absolutely by no means perfect, and certainly not historically accurate in anyway; I was just so determined to try after watching you and Bernadette. Your obvious love for sewing shows in every stitch and i thought, "I want to see if that's for me."

[@nikakozar832]

Every time I see a new video from you or Bernadette I'm so excited, and you two together in one video is a special treat hahah!

[@mealmoth8369]

I absolutely agree on the importance of quiet times and calming down when you're in an ongoing social situation. A few years ago I was part of a six week scientific expedition in the Arctic Ocean, with the ship fully packed - about 50 crew and 50 scientists. Because I was one of the three youngest ladies on board, we were assigned the only three-berth cabin (two being the norm), and one of us was on a different team and a different schedule. The only private, quiet time I could make for myself was shifting myself into the night watch, so I'd at least have our lab to myself between 11 and 3 am. Our chief scientist however was a pretty extroverted person, and she very much encouraged parties and socialising... I really learned my boundaries with "peopling" then (but I made a few friends, too) ^^ PS: I really love your videos, and this one absolutely shows off your editing skills! And it also takes us from high energy to low to high to low and perfectly underscores your point.

[@albinocavewoman]

What a cool story! I have a friend, definately an extrovert, who used to be a fishery observer for NOAA and had the most hilarious and insane stories about being at sea. I loved hearing them, but was always overwhelmed by the thought of all the social interaction involved.

[@CathyHay]

Thank you very much! It's sometimes hard to imagine how we cope when other people force us into these situations, isn't it! But we learn so much from those hard times.

[@agypsycircle]

My mundane job at the moment keeps me fairly isolated from most people, and I’ve found that I crave solitude whenever I’m actually home with roommate. It’s funny because most people still think I’m an extrovert because I can approach people and get into weirdest conversations with others! But I honestly have to hide in my room and just unwind and calm myself down and some of the tips you showed are ones I’ve used unconsciously for years! Hugs to you and Bernadette and my pocketbook willing, I hope to actually meet you both at Costume College next year!

[@maisoncourouge]

I LOVE your “intention” idea. I’m getting ready to go to an annual needlework seminar next week...and I am DEFINITELY putting the tips in this video to good use!

[@CathyHay]

Ooh wonderful! Let me know how it goes!

[@Moon13Dreams]

I think your video was my favorite to watch from this years Costume College. I don't think I'll ever get to go to, but I liked seeing it from another introvert's perspective and I was just smiling the whole time

[@celticgoddess81]

You ladies Sherlock outfits came out great. :D I loved the video Bernadette did of you three! Great job!

[@susanfrank7897]

Cathy you and Bernadette are so wonderfully amazing and so much fun to watch.

[@mariemakesstuff]

You both raise my favorite introvert tip around 26:00 - go with an introvert buddy! Having someone at an event with whom I'm comfortable, and who understands the introvert life, is so important. I love that you are both one another's introvert buddies.

[@Quietcloud]

Such a lovely bit of advice on how to respect one's introversion! I love it.

[@velvetbat]

Thank you very much for this video! It was super helpful! Being an introvert who also has asperger's and chronic illness (chronic pain and fatigue), I always felt like multi-day conventions were no option for me. I still don't think Costume College is possible for me for now (I'm from the Netherlands, so the trip alone would be too much for me), but I will keep your tips in mind and try to apply them if I ever dare to try a multi day convention more locally. :D And it's also very eye-opening to see the other side of a convention. I love watching videos of costume college and other events, but when people show only the excited stuff I never realise people can (and do) take breaks in between too, to recharge.

[@kirstine8286]

What a lovely, sweet, endearing, wise, well-paced and beautiful video!! You and Bernadette put such a smile on my face; as a fellow-introvert, I so enjoyed vicariously experiencing costume college through both of your channels - and I think I shall be borrowing the term "peopling" for my own use!

[@dpr6582]

Yes, peopling is certainly a buzzword for me now.

[@celticgoddess81]

I totally agree with you, Cathy. I think I tried to do too much this year. I went to the tea and had to leave because I had a full-on anxiety attack. For no reason other than a lot of people. That' hasn't happened in years. When I attend again I'm going to limit how many costumes I bring and how many things I try to do. This was the first year I tried to go to the tea.

[@CathyHay]

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that. But this is an experience that'll help you hone your own Costume College method just like I have. Years ago there was a racing driver called Gilles Villeneuve, who used to get to know a new racetrack by overdoing it and spinning off every corner until he found its exact edge; he then knew exactly how far he could push the car to go at maximum speed, whilst also staying within his limits. That's what you did this year! ❤️ It was lovely to meet you!

[@celticgoddess81]

@@CathyHay I completely agree! And it was lovely meeting you as well!!!

[@catzkeet4860]

This pointed up something that i think a lot of people dont realise about introverts. It was what Bernadette said, about how during her first CC she spent a lot of time in her room feeling lonely even THOUGH she needed the decompress time. Introverts DO like socialising , and we DO enjoy the company of others, particularly those who have passions in common, we just dont want to do that ALL the time, and selfishly or not, we need to do it on our terms. Personally i work in a job where im dealing with people all day........when i get home my cats are about all the conversation that im willing to partake in!! Thank you Cathy for reminding us that while we extroverts might not be the life of the party, we still have something to offer in social situations and others can still offer something to us, we just need to take it in digestable chunks. And that its ok to do that. Oh, and no i dont sew (tho i can and have done before) and am highly unlikely to ever end up at CC given that i live in NZ, but Cathy, your words of wisdom apply to so much more than just CC so cheers for that

[@LateMarch]

This introvert is taking a well anticipated solo vacation to France and your neck of the woods next month, and I’ve been slowly convincing myself that I don’t have to have every sixty seconds planned out with things to do-so I’m feeling well justified from your words of wisdom. And I’m quite pleased to add to that your technique of asking myself to decide on my top priority for the next day instead of holding fast to a serious itinerary!

[@canucknancy4257]

That was another wonderful take on CoCo. As a used to be extrovert turned much more introvert after 15 years of slowly adopting many of my wonderful autistic son's quirks, I appreciate all the sharing and tips that you impart. They work not just for events like this, but also just in regular life. It was lovely to see all of the other You Tube ladies (Bernadette, Marika, Noelle, Morgan etc.) in all their grandeur and your scandalous undergarments, Lady Moriarty, and Gentleman Jack costumes were amazing. Thanks again for your advice and wisdom. Take care of you.

[@traceej4685]

As an introvert myself I like how you plan a schedule when dealing with days packed full of events and socializing. It’s very helpful to me and I think others when trying to maybe an effort to get out there when we don’t want too! Thanks!

[@viralhangover]

It’s been so interesting watching the different CC vlogs and getting the different perspectives people have of the event. I haven’t decided if I want to try to go next year, but I feel a lot more confident about it than I did when I first heard about costume college. One thing I’ve found that really helps me when I go overboard and try to do all the things is ask myself “Do I actually want to do this, or do I think I ‘should’ want to?” It helps me center myself and not overdo things too much.

[@Berumira]

So wonderful! I hope one day to come to CoCo! I think I am an "extroverted introvert". I enjoy my time alone for the most part, but once I am comfortable I can talk someone's ear off about the strange things that interest me (clothing from La Belle Époque, insects, plants, and other misc things in my encyclopedia of a brain). My social anxiety also propels me to be a bit loquacious. I love watching your videos because I feel less alone in my desire to dress in historical clothing! Your passion and love on the subject really is inspiring. Your advise is wonderful and I feel so lucky to have found you amongst many other marvelous women on the internet who share this passion! Thank you X infinity!

[@Nephthys_Nile]

Thank you so much for this video. Not only did it compliment the other videos from CoCo so nicely, but it also added to the weight of my counter-arguments to not wanting to attend next year (I’m not sure my bank balance is thanking you for that). You have such a calm and down-to-earth way of presenting rather complex topics, and for that I will be eternally grateful. Also, both yourself and Bernadette are just delightful when you’re in shot together.

[@dogdonut3]

I'm also an introvert. Your tips here were so appreciated. The thing that comes through this video so strongly is the bond introverts can have. It's so good to be understood and supported for just being yourself. It's such a lovely feeling.

[@emiliekatrina]

I started following your work as a wee lass on LiveJournal back in 2006! I remember when you launched Foundations Revealed/Wardrobe Unlocked and, as a teenager with no checking account, I couldn't partake in all of the glory... time changes all things, thankfully! Until just recently, I had taken a hiatus from sewing, and my friend re-introduced me by linking to Bernadette and subsequently to your amazing videos. I'm so grateful you are still around being more amazing than ever and I finally get to participate in Foundations Revealed & Your Wardrobe Unlocked.

[@marthabjo]

It's so inspirational to see that even if one is the sort of person who gets worn out by crowds and "doing all the things" like you're expected to at events like these, it's possible to attend and get something out of it and feel like you get your money's worth - because I think that would maybe be my biggest concern. Thank you for showing us it CAN be done!

[@skabs508]

The way Bernadette looks at you is lovely. She’s so in that headspace of I love this person next to me, this person next to me is lovely and I adore her. ❤️ I think the way you look at her is the same. You are just wonderful people and I am so happy I found your channels.

[@GabeRaven]

Captions!!!! Yay. I’m a new viewer so I don’t know if you caption all your videos but thank you so much. Most longer vlog style videos aren’t captioned so I don’t get to enjoy them so this is amazing. Also being deaf on top of being an introvert can make socializing super hard so these tips are very helpful!

[@CathyHay]

Thank you for saying so! I do make it a priority. Apologies if they weren't super accurate yet when you first viewed this - as soon as the video goes up I have an outside company do the subtitles and auto-deliver them to the video, but I've just gone in and edited them now so words like "Dior" and "couture" come through correctly!

[@denisegratteau1747]

I am also deaf and dearly love the effort put forth for good captions. People always comment on your calming voice, which I have never heard, but I feel it in your words of wisdom and facial expressions. Thank you.

[@lisadoyle2284]

A few months ago, I found your channel and Bernadette's channel. I suffer from extreme anxiety and isolate a lot. While binge watching both of your channels, I relax and feel the stress leaving my body. I had crocheted before, but had never had a successful sewing experience, until recently. Although both projects were body pillows for friends, it's a start and really made me feel great. Not only due to feeling less anxiety, but because I felt like I accomplished something and made someone else feel good. Thank you for all you do and thank you for helping me feel somewhat normal and not alone!

[@bonniecolleenpappin8807]

Thank you for making this video for us. As an extrovert married to an extreme introvert you have provided a glimpse of how I can help my husband survive such occasions. And you and Bernadette are so like sisters. (Not that I have a sister for reference.) So refreshing!

[@CathyHay]

Oh that's wonderful! I'm all for helping extroverts understand how we tick and what we need!

[@aurorad3522]

This was my first time at Costume College. As much as enjoyed it & especially meeting you, Bernadette and Constance, I needed a reset afterwards. I went to Sequoia National Forest and hiked 4 miles up a mountain to camp out.

[@shannon2711]

Thank you for sharing all of these beautiful, soft, and gentle moments! An event like this would cause me deep anxiety and your sage advice makes it feel possible. Additionally, this video makes me wish you and Bernadette lived closer, cause oh wow, friendship goals. So thank you again for this delightful and inspiring video 💕

[@AdelaideBeemanWhite]

This video has made me (as an introvert) very excited to come to Costume College next year!

[@Faefire]

Seeing this made me very happy. It is unlikely I will ever have the means to attend costume college, but there are similar conventions in my own country and attending them might be possible (if I have the courage). In the meantime I enjoy sitting in front of my computer with a cup of tea and my cat, working on my embroidery and watching the vlogs. I'm alone in my room but not lonely and really... that is all I need. Also, can I say, that you look very handsome in the suspender-trousers in the beginning? You wore them before in videos and I always thought they suit you incredibly well. I might need to sew myself a pair. :) Thank you for the wonderful vlog.

[@Marialla.]

As a fellow introvert who has ended up wrapped in a curtain in the corner of the room sometimes to avoid crowds, let me thank you and bless you from the bottom of my heart! I have trouble even attending church because my social anxiety is so bad. You have given me many good tips for getting through important social situations that I do care about and want to attend. Thank you so much!

[@dominiquecurran1941]

I am so envious of your friendship with Ms Banner. My best friends are both extroverts and so I am often overwhelmed alone. Having another introvert to hide with must be lovely.

[@leonapage]

You & Bernadette are so adorable❤️ your interactions are like mother and daughter

[@BexxiM]

Coming home and seeing this in my subscription, made a very dismal day so much better Ms. Hay. This has eased my worries about attending Costume College and I am looking forward to and now inspired.

[@ashley-cz1sl]

I love when you and Bernadette get together and are in each other's videos.

[@margaretbarclay-laughton2086]

This was truly inspirational I find some videos awfly exhausting full of "you can do this, do that, go here , go there" and I am left thinking I am inadequate because all that bustle would either tire me out or have me hiding in my room. You showed that by being strategic even big events are possible. Thank you.

[@flibbertygibbette]

I find it helps to make a BFF at any conference or convention who is similarly introverted, and with whom I can really connect. I need a lot of space but I also find in-depth one on one conversations very restorative after the chaotic energy of the general conference and meeting lots of new people, etc. Can be fun, and always good to meet interesting and talented people, but also exhausting when it's so many people and not much chance to really deeply connect with people.

[@cathleenvance4441]

Well, my gosh, I just cannot get enough of you two...meaning you and Bernadette...it's like peeping through a magic glass and watching two Victorian ladies enjoy the day...for real...You are both so beautiful with flawless skin and beautiful smiles and it makes me wish I could sew, and draft patterns and purchase silk thread, needless to say, you have taken me back in time if only for a moment.

[@bertuccigirl]

This is really lovely. And I don’t think just for introverts. There are a lot of valuable tips here for everyone, going to any kind of highly charged event like this. Thank you for sharing, excellently done, and definitely worth waiting for. I so wish I could just sit and chat with you and Bernadette and hear what you think about where your ‘people’ are going, what you saw in your 30,000 foot view.

[@shannonbrazil6135]

You are a GREAT teacher! I hear it in your voice. Thank you for everything you do for others.

[@CATcatCATwoof]

I hope you both can reconnect in the future after wounds are healed are you're both in better places. You're kindred spirits.

[@lvxmiri]

I clicked on this video expecting a no-nonsense, done-and-done guide to CoCo and I couldn’t be more pleased that this was not the case! You’re all such inspirations and I am so incredibly hype for Costume College 2020!

[@melissaintheclouds]

All three of you looked amazing as your Sir Arthur Conan Doyle triplet set.

[@tracybartels7535]

The life of an introvert! I've seen this and 2 days (so far) of Noelle, and I am i awe of you two and your introversion skills. I know I would be trying to go to everything (alone) and get overwhelmed and have a meltdown, and you are so wise, you are my introvert event mentors and I vow to learn from you. Also, though I can see the anxiety in you in this video, I have to say that your videos are so calming that I will watch them even if I am not interested in the topic (though I usually am). Being able to feel anxiety an yet project calm online is quite the gift, so thank you.

[@TheUncannyDoll]

I'm so grateful for the parts in your video where you show yourself calming down from all the socializing. I have to do that when I go to big events too, because I'm introverted and on the autism spectrum, and a lot of people still don't understand. Thank you for proving that it's not crazy or selfish to take a step back to breathe and collect yourself!

[@jorien42]

This was surpremely relatable! I've been slowly getting sucked into the costuming vortex through the medium of regency dance. You know the thing... "I should try and make a dress for myself, that would be useful for events", quickly escalating into "And these are the other 36 projects I'd like to do from this range of historical eras." It was so nice to get a look into Costume college, plus it absolutely nails my experience of peopling as an introvert. Several birds, one video!

[@pixiekit]

I appreciate that you say to pick what you want to do. As an extrovert that’s also super important because I want to do EVERYTHING! So picking my priorities at events makes sure I do what I want to and don’t miss something but instead of potentially missing something because of recharging, it’s potentially missing something because of doing something else

[@DartmouthProductions]

Thank you Cathy for a lovely video. I found this to a very moving video. I have been thinking a lot the last week about how I as an introvert and a person with chronic fatigue and anxiety interact with people generally and I have found this video to be incredibly helpful. Also I love that the Worth gown was lined with TARDIS material.

[@ruthiezophia2946]

It's lovely watching the friendship between yourself and Bernedette.

[@МарияПанфилова-т7у]

Such a calm and peaceful vlog and lots of sound advice I wish someone gave me years ago! I attended a few events and had a meltdown the very first day every time. But having seen your vlog (and, of course, quite some certain other ones) I now feel inspired to try and go to Costume College one day!

[@themoonlightfox4969]

I could listen to you talk all day. Your voice is so calming and I love watching the videos you and Bernadette put out. Great for an introvert to take notes from.

[@lovoniaparks]

is that a "gates of hell" medieval sailor moon outfit?!? YES!

[@MorganDonner]

This was such a beautiful video, thank you so much for making it! So many parts of this are resonating deeply with me right now, I appreciate the advice, and will definitely need to rewatch this before my next CoCo trip!

[@DanielleStJohn]

"Nope, it's gone" hoo boy that is a whole mood

[@raeward8092]

Thank you for this. For decades I’ve been essentially forced to people on quite a grand scale. Your coping tips are so welcome. I could have done with knowing about them 20 years ago but they are still welcome now. I’m absolutely loving the friendship between yourself and Bernadette, it’s such a special thing. Much love x

[@arielsmith-essers3079]

I loved this video. As a fellow introvert I have to agree that this is the best way to approach ANY convention. Be kind to yourself! If you feel overwhelmed take a break, or sit in on a class that's simple. I went to the Australian Discworld Convention for the first time this year (with my sister) and I had many a day that I went back up to my hotel room for 15 - 30 minutes for a cup of tea and a break from people. It did wonders for my ability to socialise with a bunch of strangers! I loved that experience, and have to agree that all of this advice is so good for multi-day conventions. I love your work Cathy! Our lady of sage advice

[@Truelle67]

Thank you for this, your videos are soothing and make me emotional. I love your relationship with Bernadette you both really lighten up when you're together and it's lovely to be able to witness it. I hope for you many (good) adventures to come.

[@rebeccaude4412]

My goodness, I watched Noelle’s vlogs daily, then I watched Bernadette; Morgan & Marika’s Q&A came next & all the while I kept thinking that I was so similar to Noelle which in personality, is 100% true! However: I have multi autoimmune diseases with Chronic Fatigue, & I felt this big let down due to being in a flare here at home & realizing I could never attend CC b/c I want to do it all, which is how I used to live. My husband & I don’t have children, plus we both studied & worked hard to afford the lifestyle we wanted not only for ourselves, but my niece & nephew who call me “mom”. It is vital to me that they experience the world & things that their parents (mainly my older brother) don’t care if they see or do. So we did what we wanted, when we wanted! Now; my whole life revolves around how much I can accomplish in a day without going so far that I ruin my next day. I explain it as though I’m walking on a tightrope & trying not to fall off where there is no net, only a flare that will end with me stuck in bed for a week or more. I guess I’m just trying to say, your viewpoint on CC, the way you approach it, the idea that I don’t have to do it ALL to gain something spectacular out of it: maybe I would be able to attend? Plus you & Bernadette should make it a much longer vacation, fly to our home in Indiana where we live on water & have a multi-level deck, a large fire pit down on the “beach”, a ski boat & pontoon boat (adrenaline vs. picnic & relaxation 😂), then the flight is less than 4hrs!! Honestly, I very much appreciated your advice, tips & tricks. Even extroverts have anxiety, I have ever since childhood. We just all deal with it in different ways. Thank you for showing another side to large conventions. Illness can take over your life however; I can be miserable at home or I can go do something I love & enjoy which usually makes me feel much much better. You are as wise as you are beautiful Cathy Hay! 🤗💜😘🦋

[@sharonriley4137]

Just want to say the same things as everyone else - love the introvert tips, love seeing the CoCo from all these fantastic women's perspectives and LOVE watching you and Bernadette together !

[@margaretmyres5626]

I've been waiting for your video. I've watched Bernadette's as well as Noelle and Enchanted Rose, Morgan and a few more. You all give a pretty nice overall view of the whole event. I enjoyed seeing snips of the classes offered and everyone's different experiences. Thanks

[@lauralongland6176]

Cathy, thank you for the time any energy that you put into your videos. I am a dressmaker, but not particularly interested in historical dress or costume design. I feel like there is so much more I can learn from your channel, including how to be kind to yourself which is often easily forgotten. So thank you!

[@elizabethpothier6270]

Thank you! I’ve always been the type of person to do my own thing. Now I’m realizing by watching your video that it’s really my way of controlling my exposure to people and stress levels. Thanks for showing a different side to this!

[@mmw55122]

You two really are, I believe, Sisters from another Mother...and that is truly a beautiful thing. Thank you both for all that you do.

[@courtneywalsh9780]

Bernadette talking about doing a 50s Dior look from the perspective of Victorian Dressmaking and now I’m just imagining her doing her own spin on the ‘Bar Suit’ from the New Look. I feel like it could go pretty seamlessly into her wardrobe!!!