Women Reveal The Questions They Ask Men To Discover Red Flags

Article: brobible.com/culture/article/...
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[@roamer38]

One of my red flags is a woman who spend the entire date looking for red flags instead of trying to enjoy the date

[@pontiacw7]

Right, they're not dating, they're red flag fishing.

[@shem7146]

aka insecure women

[@PnPride]

Sorry but that's dumb, if you are looking for a serious partner ofc you will have to check if your date has any major red flags and I'm saying this as a guy, its a common sense.

[@Mcfc2Rich]

That's not the point though, he said spending the entire date doing that. If I wanna be investigated I'll go an commit a crime do you know what I mean? ​@@PnPride

[@jackwatt8988]

If a woman asked me "is there anyone who would be upset to find out you are on this date" my response would be "Myself in 20 minutes when I get home".

[@larrykippings]

😂😂😂

[@SpoonHurler]

I'm usually already upset seeing her without filters. (I'm kidding btw) 😂

[@dripdaddydolluz2856]

💀💀💀

[@peterbrenner9342]

Yes, my wife might be upset if she rose from the dead...

[@Michael-YTCSAD]

Me: so in other words, you are trying to ask me if I'm seeing anyone whilst beating around the bush about it?

[@charlie7816]

Anyone who asks "what is feminism" definitely has an answer in mind. That's not a get-to-know-you question, it's a quiz with right and wrong answers. More specifically it's an ideological purity test of a very aggressive sort. Any woman who asked me that would not get a second date, and would probably get a flippant answer designed to piss her off, something like, "I don't care enough about feminism to discuss the definition."

[@mattrubin89]

Swipe left on left

[@sethdecamp4919]

If I were on an actual date I’d just get up and leave after dropping a few bills for my half of the bill

[@elektrovert]

It's an easy red flag for guys though. Also, it's not mansplaning if they ask the question.

[@ot23234]

"I'm a big supporter of feminism! It gives you broads something to do in your free time, when you aren't cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children."

[@FabianDialer-vw1zk]

Depending on her view on Feminism it can be a good question. A lot of women see feminism as what it is. A scheeme to ruin them.

[@nothingpersonal1000]

"Is there anyone that would be upset if they knew you were on this date?" Only the thousands of women that wish they were sitting in your seat

[@joshuabenitez3260]

What did you learn from your past relationship? I learned to be more selective of the women I date and to not just jumping into a relationship with a woman. I learned that while lonliness is hard, staying with someone who keeps hurting me is much worse. I learned that I want a woman who accepts me for who I am and aligns with my values. I've learned that I want a woman who listens to me and takes my thoughts and feelings into consideration when she does certain things that affects us. I've learned to no longer compromise who I am to make a woman happy. I learned I am not responsible for a woman's happiness. I can't make people happy. Happy wife, happy life is not true; it's toxic.

[@danielharnden516]

I learned herpes is bad mmmmk.

[@ponokunishima1]

Reverse the question back on them first, they will “test” you.

[@peterbrenner9342]

I learned that it is unwise to ignore even the smallest red flags.

[@raghavhabib]

It’s a tall order! Better to go our own way.

[@Avenger_XYZ]

💯

[@michaeljjt1976]

Is there anyone at home who would be upset to find out you are on this date? Yes. My dog. She wants me all to herself

[@AdamFiregate]

Spot on. 😊

[@americafirst9144]

🤣🤣🤣

[@MrHoll87]

You just aced two questions at once, you absolute legend.

[@MileHighGrowler]

Exact response I'd have! And truthfully, they do hate it 😄

[@fireworksfanatics2777]

That's what I thought about too! Make the interrogation into a win

[@masonparker302]

“do you belive in aliens?” I actually got a very similar version of this question on a first date from a 21 year old brighter than average college girl who asked me “what animal were you in a past life?” as we were walking from her apartment to a restaurant. My answer was an aloof “damned if I know”. She said “thank GOD! I'm so glad you're not some looney wacko”. The rest of the date was fun and we ended up happily kissing at the end of the afternoon.

[@trueblueclue]

And then you woke up

[@masonparker302]

A lthough I have had both kinds of experiences, this is from my wide awake real world. If she had not responded with relief and kept silent I could have added "would I be any smarter if I did know? I'm human now aren't I?". And then STFU and see what came over the net. @@trueblueclue

[@shem7146]

This is exactly why I like girls who are into reading or just media in general. They have the character to ask and answer weird questions that 9/10 of women don't have.

[@user-og2wt3le4j]

There was a woman I dated who told she had to file for bankruptcy in the recent past. She told me she had bought too many crystals, which gets expensive apparently. It turned out she was a new age wack job. It was a red flag and a major reason why I broke up with her.

[@lordofentropy]

I don't know, maybe go on a first date without some plan to figure out red flags? See if you enjoy even being around the person at first; see if conversation comes naturally for both of you and if you can make each other smile and even laugh. A red flag is someone whose idea of a good first date is, "how can I trip this person up?"

[@justacoginthefkery]

As a woman I do agree for the most part. I do understand the first question as there apparently are a lot of committed men (& I'm sure women too) using OLD to cheat on their partners. IMO testing simply sets the stage for unhealthy relationship dynamics instead of letting things play out naturally. Given that most ppl will eventually show you who they are, it's completely uneccessary.

[@lordofentropy]

​@@justacoginthefkery Indeed. I feel like the red flags will show up organically, in fact probably even easier than if the person is in on guard dodging landmines during an interrogation. Sure, keep an eye out for them, it'll be obvious how they treat others, like the waitstaff or people in line; you'll see if they actually listen while you speak and if they're actively engaged instead of waiting for their turn to talk about themselves.

[@justacoginthefkery]

@@lordofentropy exactly. It's expected in those first couple months at minimum for most ppl to hide their flags behind layers of charisma or their "representative". Some ppl will actively mirror ppl or just say what they think one wants to hear when asked certain questions. You can learn way more through simple observation.

[@Danny328DT]

Intentionally spotting red flags could be a sign of trauma from past relationships. It could also indicate fear of commitment or trust issues. In that case, consult with your therapist to see what solutions can be given to you to pursue healthy relationships with someone.

[@justacoginthefkery]

@@Danny328DT that is not necessarily true. The brain often operates on what's called confirmation bias. When you learn information or operate from a set belief, the brain becomes primed to search for ways to apply the information or ways to confirm your beliefs. So when ppl begin to learn about things like red flags & abuse whether they went through trauma or not, their mind looks for red flags & naturally begins to spot them more easily. It has little to do with having issues.

[@ct90twa]

Absolutely a deal breaker on the animals. Someone asking the feminism question in first date is the red flag. I can guarantee we would end that discussion when I insist she picks up the check, in the spirit of feminism.

[@Snake369]

Strongly anti-feminist so i'd immediately generate hostility for it.

[@chrish2112]

Feminism is a hate group. Full stop.

[@patricknichols4670]

I don't like the question about animals at all. I'm not a pet owner, or a dog person. I shouldn't have to give some pandering response to placate someone. Not everyone likes dogs. Specifically, not everyone likes YOUR dog.

[@tavrincallas3218]

Any feminist from a normal country (as in, not the US) who's worth their salt would be ok splitting the bill, and even insist on it to some extent. This Summer I've been on a date with a pretty cool girl from my country (Italy) who's a feminist, and when I offered to pay for her coffee, she was almost offended

[@user-ee6dz3rd9g]

@@patricknichols4670 lol I remember a girl I dated brought her dog over after I said no, holding it like a baby with a pleading look so I gave in, then she later threw some new sheets over the dog ...some sure do like their pets

[@stevend2748]

If someone replied " i would create scholarships if i won the lottery" I'd be like "okay relax mother Theresa, this isn't a job interview"😂

[@barongerhardt]

My old answer was buy a used ford pinto. Nobody asks someone driving a pinto for money.

[@SpoonHurler]

I have a 10/10/80 methodology with all money makes or bumble into. So 10% I'd waste on stuff I want 10% I'd give away to others and I'd pay taxes, save, interest, live on the 80%.

[@visaman]

Miss America pageant.

[@Ryan66437]

Pay off both my parents' and my loans and put the rest into a mutual fund as my retirement money.

[@storm4710]

Like @SpoonHurler Depends on how much i win but in general 10% to a local homeless foundation, 15% for new vehicles and a house, 75% investing in safe low yield stocks

[@tomasfarish7959]

Wow, the tattoo question brought a great response from you (loved the eye roll!) Regarding preferences, I know that there are a lot of women who won't date me because they think I am too old for them, or maybe not tall enough, or not good looking enough. Those are preferences, and I try not to take them personally. But if I dare to express an opinion like "I don't like tattoos on women", or "I don't date fat girls", I am labeled controlling, or a misogynist!

[@clave7203]

I actually got this question to a degree from a girl during a date. She’d recently gotten a tattoo on her wrist that I asked her about, and then she said she was going to get a tattoo around her clavicle area. I guess I didn’t respond with the most enthusiastic response because tattoos are not my thing, and she got very defensive after that. Proceeded to grill me for my opinion on tattoos, girls with tattoos, and the in-depth reason as to why they were not for me. It was that “asking why non stop” sort of situation, super annoying.

[@ItIsMeJamesE]

@@clave7203 Should have just left

[@Ash_Wen-li]

​@@clave7203She took the tattoo comment as a personal insult. You'd have to be careful with how you disagree with her in a relationship. Not worth it

[@williamclayton9566]

My wiring interprets a tattoo on a woman as a skin disease.

[@clave7203]

@@ItIsMeJamesE Basically ended the date after that topic.

[@Dseated]

Womansplaining is telling me how to mow the lawn or renovate a room. Explaining a woman's perspective is a joy to listen to. Thank you

[@AwesomeRando]

20:10 "Even the people you think are perfect have a red flag." This right here. To me, the scouting for red flags is a red flag itself.

[@xFersureMatt]

Exactlyyyy.. the whole.. looking for flaws in the person youre dating.. if you look for flaws.. you WILL find them.. and then you will abandon.. and then repreat. Meanwhile everyone gets hurt that youre criticizing for red flags.

[@justacoginthefkery]

Personally, I absolutely look for red flags myself, but I don't set ppl up to show them. They'll do it all on their own. What I do is practice discernment to look at the nuance behind things as some flags may actually be yellow or green. & yes, literally everyone has something somewhere. Things like accountability, self-awareness, taking the time to heal or grow mentally & emotionally, their core values or priorities can make all the difference.

[@ash_dando]

Agree. The whole idea of asking indirect questions is inauthentic and manipulative, and is thus an orange flag. I don’t think there’s a shortcut for getting to know someone, observing their behaviour to see if it matches what they say, and only giving your trust gradually.

[@theevolutionofthebear3093]

What did I learn from my last relationship? Don't try to figure out what she wants to hear. Tell her how you actually feel and don't apologize for it. Some will leave, some will pitch a fit and call you names and some will stay. All of them will respect you and the good ones will stay because of that. Not because you can make her temporarily happy by telling her what she wants to hear.

[@michaelconnors1301]

"Tell her how you actually feel and don't apologize for it." Exactly. If she doesn't like how you feel, then you're both better off for having figured it out sooner rather than later.

[@jinaolen786]

This is so so so important

[@brianbard3846]

Dude you ROCK.

[@LTV_inc]

Being honest is probably what will keep you together when the shtf.

[@roadsidebong6333]

It also nakes you stand out from all her yes mam orbiters

[@sleggarri]

Keep a first date light and fun. Everyone is on their best behavior for the first few months anyway. You will likely get answers that they think you'd like to hear, which may lead some to feel manipulated when reflecting on their remarks in the future. Spend the time to discover their character over a series of meetings. Observe their behavior especially how they treat the people in their lives that they are comfortable with, family, friends, co-workers, etc.

[@timmyc7898]

Words tell you who people want to be, actions tell you who they are. I truly enjoy your videos, thank you!

[@Tele-grem-CourtneyRyan01.]

L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝✝️.....

[@timmyc7898]

People say who they want to be, but there actions reveal who they really are. I have always tried to treat people with respect and kindness no matter who they are, CEO or the guy in the warehouse.

[@wholetdudein3826]

On a first date Don't talk about RAPE: R- religion A- abortion P- politics E- economics Do talk about FORD: F- family O- occupation R- recreation D- dreams

[@TheOnlyAndreySotnikov]

The first batch can be the most critical questions; it’s better to discuss them as soon as possible to not waste each other time. Imagine if I am an American Palestinian, and she is happy with 4,385 “collateral damage” of Palestinians since October 7 and thinks there should be more. Dating between us is simply impossible.

[@matthewharrigan3568]

If your goal is a long term relationship, religion is important to talk about very early, perhaps even before the first date

[@buckjones4901]

Those tough questions need to come up before too long, but first date it is risky, but could also be rewarding if you both feel the same way.

[@csx6910]

I wouldn't be overt about politics but I'd throw in questions that would give a good impression on her political views. If I get a hint she's a Leftist, there's no second date. Interestingly enough, that would give me an idea on the other three without even asking.

[@hotpockets69]

I'm not dating or marrying a Republican, so I absolutely need to know what their political leaning is.

[@jasonshriver1587]

If a date asked me what is feminism, I would answer: "That's a red flag right there, Bev, that's a red flag right there."

[@sebikelifeusvetparatrooper]

In the closet DICK🥒RIDER perhaps🤔.

[@csx6910]

Shows she's likely anti-male and has a victim mentality and can't point out one right a man has that a woman doesn't today. Who wants to be in a contentious relationship?

[@Trex10100]

Feminism is pegan goddess worship

[@smacc3670]

Totally dumb question unless you’re a rabid feminist

[@Brandelwyn]

Dont tell them about the red flags, youll only teach them to hide those better

[@chrism6764]

I went out with a woman who had a pet Tarantula, named Annabelle (the spider, not the woman😁). Not the sort of pet I was thinking of when I asked if she had any. For the record, she treated it very well.

[@tavrincallas3218]

You raise a great point, as I have a phobia of spiders and couldn't possibly date somebody with a pet tarantula lmaooo That would be a red flag for me personally, so I may as well ask on my next date

[@mgancarzjr]

​@@tavrincallas3218you could use the spider to get over your phobia.

[@kenknapp2319]

Sounds like my type of girl

[@MrHoll87]

@@tavrincallas3218 Them having a pet tarantula while you have arachnophobia isn't a red flag on them or you. A red flag usually implies a serious character flaw, and owning a pet that creeps you out isn't a flaw, it's just a compatibility issue. It would be a deal breaker rather than a red flag. And I say this as someone who also hates spiders. I could never date someone with a pet tarantula either, but I wouldn't consider that a red flag in the person. Now if you're politely honest and open with them about the phobia being an issue for you and they lash out over it, THAT would be a red flag. But just owning a pet that gives you the heebie geebies isn't itself a red flag.

[@Snake369]

The frustrating part about the feminism question is they want men to praise feminism, be strongly supportive of women abandoning feminine gender roles etc but expect men to adhere strictly to male gender roles and archaic courting expectations. Like... you want me to be a feminist except when its inconvenient for you and you want to be a feminist except when any expectations are placed on you. Why are we lying to each other?

[@peterbrenner9342]

Feminism is the FIRST deal breaker. Get a cat and forget about men...

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

They don’t know what they want -

[@dian277]

every feminist doesnt' think alike. you're generalizing. once one starts generalizing, it all goes down hill

[@whatthecinnamontoastfudge]

@@dian277 yes, they DO. That’s why it’s this whole ass “movement”. That’s why behaviors and attitudes are mostly the same across the board. Don’t kid yourself.

[@peterg76yt]

Feminism is about equal rights. Not equal responsibilities.

[@ajtaylor8750]

*"Is there anyone that would be upset to find out you were on this date?"* Like who....the FBI? CIA? IRS? Uncle Sam?

[@Ifalvarado]

FBI indeed. They want to know everything about their employees. Spouses for example if they are from a different country. So joke with her "why you are a us citizen are you not" playfully, she will like it

[@razor6552]

The Albanians

[@ash_dando]

I reckon I’d deflect this one with humour: “My parole officer”

[@VladAngelOfDarkness]

Lmao best comment x'D

[@elektrovert]

lol

[@markbaum9615]

What is feminism ? Simple...it means you buy your own drink as you watch me walk away....

[@byrdmaniacsg2776]

Oh, good one.

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

Haha nice. As soon as I heard them use that word in done. Or ALL (men). Because, that just states their uneducated because there’s no such thing as all as in everybody doing the same thing.

[@dian277]

never have I connect tattoo with any of those things you mentioned. it's always been just permanent ink embeded under the skin that can change color over time to me. that's eye opening

[@jacquesc3166]

Bot malfunction, no where did the OP mention tattoos... 🤣

[@kym-bid-bidstrup3623]

I love your channel and, in particular, your balanced assessment of opinions/actions/frailties/emotions etc etc. Thank you.

[@user-mr1ku5iz8l]

Guys need to ask these two questions in return: 1) Have you resolved your daddy issues? 2) What have you done to overcome your fear of abandonment?

[@assass7012]

Also: 3) where do you stand politically 4) what is your religion? 5) what is your stance on abortion 6) do you want kids? 7) when and how many? Need to ask these 7 questions because they're detrimental in determining the compatibility of the future of the relationship, with religion likely being the most flexible belief

[@coltonwilkie241]

​@@assass7012 8) How much do you weigh?

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

So now men abandoning their kids is on the women? Lol Funny stuff.

[@user-mr1ku5iz8l]

@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816 No, but shouldn't it be the woman's responsibility to overcome this fear so she does not bring it into every relationship for each Man to deal with?

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

@@user-mr1ku5iz8l right. It would be a shame for men have to be held accountable for other men's bad behavior. Sorta like men can have daddy issues as well. You know... Men have been abandoned and it can effect them just as much, if not more. Tell me. Do you think men that refuse to cook and clean and want to be doted on are also needing to get over their "mommy issues" and should to do that long before they make some other women cook and clean up for them? Or....and. is it a double standard? No one wants a partner that has issues. But no one is perfect.

[@Vegaswill714]

If someone who i recently met asked me a series of these questions I would feel as if I were on a job interview rather than a date. Asking these questions (especially if they're asked in sequence) would be a red flag for me. Most of the things you are looking for could be ascertained by just being with a person and observing their reactions as situations come up.

[@hotpockets69]

A date IS an interview though. You want to learn about someone to see if you're compatible. Da fuq....

[@Ash_Wen-li]

​@@hotpockets69Job interviews are one way. Dates are not

[@bigneiltoo]

@@hotpockets69 No, a date is not an INTERVIEW unless it's the MAN interviewing the WOMAN. He's the one paying. The idea that a woman wants to act like the BOSS when HE is paying for dinner?

[@hotpockets69]

@@Ash_Wen-li if your job interviews are one way it's because either you've only applied to warehouse positions or you didn't come prepared with anything to ask.

[@gmoneymac23]

@@hotpockets69 These Q's can/should be asked BEFORE the first date if they are truly disqualifiers. Would save a lot of time and money.

[@jack3493]

Based on these comments from women, it’s no wonder men don’t want to date anymore. Way too big of a headache

[@cheyennesmith3365]

Most comments I see from men are much more toxic and miserable than they make modern women out to be.

[@tylerg.2599]

Exactly. I wanna have fun with the girl, I don’t want to be interrogated. That shit is too much stress.

[@roadsidebong6333]

This vid was cringe. These are questions a 13 year old girl would ask her first crush. It all sounds very juvenile but i think she has to appeal to her audience of hopeless romantic teenagers with this kinda advice.

[@jer1776]

Its mostly older women that do this interrogation stuff on dates.. and women wonder why men in their 30s go for women in their 20s

[@travislucy9394]

Thanks for producing this type of content Courtney. I struggle in social situations, particularly with women, so I have subscribed and intend to watch most content you put out there.

[@jaytv4eva]

What did I learn from my last relationship? Not to ask questions like this on a first date cuz she gave the answer I thought was right but then I found out she was just telling me what she thought I wanted to hear 🙂🤣🤣

[@transitionsnc]

Exactly. Asking questions is a waste of time. A contingent of people will not answer them honestly.

[@Courtney-Alice-Gargani]

People aren’t themselves on their first date because they’re on their best behavior.

[@Nev1812]

So basically a job interview 😅

[@Pssst.ByTheWay]

I don’t believe in “being on your best behaviour “ it sets a unsustainable standard 🤷‍♀️

[@Ash_Wen-li]

I don't do that. I act like myself. Maybe just slightly better than normal at most

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

Negative. All we hear is you complain about guys not being on their best behaviour. Want to try that again?

[@Jikrin]

Some people are on their worst.

[@Bob-cd5pp]

This is destroying dating, it is like a job interview

[@thrilla72]

Job interviews ask better questions though

[@ragtagvagabond]

That’s because all you are is a paycheck to them.

[@csx6910]

That's what dating is though, an interview to determine if the person is good enough for something greater.

[@andersnielsen6044]

@@csx6910 Exactly.

[@cheyennesmith3365]

@@ragtagvagabond that’s the most cliche excuse men use not to date.

[@ChrisZ70]

Courtney you have exquisite taste and sensibilities. The more I hear from you the more I like you. Your critique of men's attire no-nos was spot on, and now that you say you don't like tattoos on women and wouldn't get one yourself, I think you're on the next level! You are so smart and classy.

[@mikecampbell7502]

Wow Courtney. I have watched a few of your videos and enjoyed most, I was struck this time by your demeanor. You are so level headed and give such good responses. Rolling your eyes at appropriate times🤣. You made me lol a few times. Great video. Thanks! ☺

[@shantideva30]

one good question that came in my mind at a date was: "if you could learn a thing to perfection in 1 day, what would that be?" we talked about that for 1h+ ^^

[@chef-magoo]

I struggled with the idea of perfection, especially after having lost my vision, and wanting to prove that I could do things just as well as anybody else. My conclusion was is that there really is no such thing as perfection. It’s in a ethereal concept, and differs from person to person. Your idea of the perfect chocolate chip cookie most likely difference from mine.

[@shantideva30]

@@chef-magoo if some (or me) says "to perfection" it mostly means "verry good" and is not meant about the philosophical concept about perfection. since we are not the BORG, we dont drive for perfection :)

[@Sekir80]

@@shantideva30 Most of you don't.

[@LucRio448]

See, THAT sounds like a great question to ask someone too get to know them as a person. Though I wouldn't even know my own answer to that, since I enjoy the process of figuring out stuff far too much fun for me to want to learn something in 1 day, then I can't keep learning it the next day. I mean maybe something I need to learn but don't want to but... perfectly in my mind constructing a perfectly balanced diet for the day every morning and anytime on the spot maybe, or perfect (as in healthiest possible) running technique... but it would just end in "I could USE this", and not in "I want to LEARN this", so it doesn't really tell much about my personality or passions or stuff really? Well, except that I'm overthinking a simple question right now maybe :D

[@ash_dando]

That’s an awesome question, I’m stealing that one!

[@olafthebear2327]

On a date Her: What is feminism? Him: A joke

[@kaibalfour2318]

Yup that will end well🤣🤣

[@QuetzalcoatlOdin]

​@kaibalfour2318 for all the right reasons!

[@SpoonHurler]

Or a sign I'm about to only pay half for our only date 😂

[@bigjake1814]

Psyc op created to drive division

[@hotpockets69]

It's fascinating how y'all hate women, yet act genuinely confused why you can't find one to be in a relationship with. Just be gay.

[@Redsentinel27]

Yet again a very good video. Courtney, thank you for being so grounded in your perspective. You're as lovely as you are realistic about what actually matters in the minefield that is modern dating. I appreciate your practicality and how emotionally balanced and mature you are as a young woman yourself, and I applaud you for your sound advice here as well as so many of the related topics that you cover. Your level of communication is exactly what it takes nowadays and more realistically always should be the case between men and women, let alone people in general. I feel if more people listened and took your advice, the world would be a better and much happier place. Thank you.

[@andrew6815]

To question 9: My mother is an alcoholic and abusive so I don't talk to her. Did you ask about her behavior or just our current relationship? Because based on your question, my answer would be, "we don't talk" (which is HER choice btw, I've never denied her that right, she chooses not to anymore because she doesn't like the fact that accountability is generally one of the topics of conversation). I would not have walked out of this "date" because I don't believe in embarrassing people publicly like that. But I likely would've decided by about question 5 but certainly by question 7 that this was not going to work and that there would be no 2nd date. A lot of these questions demonstrate intolerance (which is pretty unattractive to me) and more than a few of them hint at (or outright display) a pretty disrespectful attitude towards men based on their gender... no thanks.

[@RonaldGibson699]

The pet question: I love cats. However, our two cats have been gone for 30+ years. Losing them is so hard. I just really don't want to go through it again. I haven't had another pet since.

[@chef-magoo]

I feel you here! Big dog person, myself, lost my two girls one year after the other two years ago, still haven’t gotten over it still miss them deeply. I do one another for baby, but, like you said all that comes up first is the thoughts of losing them again.

[@chef-magoo]

in my opinion, a first date is about seeing if there is something there, that spark, a connection, even the desire to see that person again. I think, perhaps the second date is the more appropriate to start looking at those things that will have a deep impact on a relationship. for me, I think the ultimately most important traits or empathetic, kind, and humble. Past that I think alignment in sexual and social ideals are paramount. Then political alignment. I consider myself politically conservative; meeting less government in my life, and socially liberal, meeting, live and let live, everybody has the right to live their life the way they want to.

[@marathoner43]

A lot of these questions I feel would make for a very uncomfortable first date, and if she's asking most of these, I would consider it a huge red flag. I would want to keep it more fun and light-hearted on a first date. Lottery? First hire an attorney trained in how to deal with lottery winnings so I don't have to personally claim it...would rather remain anonymous. Then, invest most of it, and if it was enough for me to quit my job, I'd move into a small house in the woods preferably on a lake. Live simply and off the interest on the money from winnings. Ashamed of from my teenage years? Maybe not taking care of my body as well as I should have. I've taken care of that now. Only wish I had done it sooner. Tattoo? I have a preference of no tats or small and tasteful, but who am I to judge what you want to do? Aliens? With all the stars and galaxies out in the universe, I have to think somewhere out there, there must be other intelligent life. Animals? Sure. Love dogs (especially big dogs, i.e. not ankle biters) and cats. Election? If she talks about politics on a first date, I probably don't want her.

[@michaeljjt1976]

Yeah, a huge red flag is anytime a woman brings up serious issues on a first date. If they come up organically, briefly, fine. But otherwise if the first date isn't full of flirting and banter, then I'm probably not asking for a second date

[@bhart3321]

For the lottery you read that reddit article. I saved it too just in case lol

[@SeaIify]

@@bhart3321 Which one, may I ask?

[@thiacari]

I agree, more important than any of these is: is it fun being together? Do we get along? It doesn't matter if the man is a sister-loving ex-gf-respecting feminist with similar political ideology that loves dogs, has the same religious ideas, who would invest lottery money smartly... if you have zero chemistry, there is no banter, your humor doesn't match and their talking points are boring.

[@williamturner1441]

You are awesome Courtney and we all hope there are many like you in this crazy world. Great job Mom and Dad !!

[@Assassin274]

Very interesting video. Like this topic and love the change of paste in content but all within context of what you do. Well done, your doing great much support

[@Adrian-zu6tm]

as soon i heard "reddit" i could tell this was gonna be from delusional women

[@thefox47545]

To add to the question of asking about other women in their lives, women should observe how men act with other men. I've seen men be absolute sweethearts to all women but treat other men like crap. They're just kissing ass to all women to get on their good side but if they don't or refuse to get along with both sexes then that's a red flag. I've heard women say about some guys, "Oh, he's so sweet" and I'm like, "HIM?! Really?!"

[@storm4710]

Yeah it should how he treat's people in general

[@GregXHunterz]

That's a good point. I noticed this behaviour too.

[@garybuentgen7024]

I love how genuine you are, Courtney . . . very refreshing.

[@dhanrajmohan701]

Public comment. Ms Courtney you are down to earth. God bless you. Honesty and respect and understanding brings peace of mind ❤. Life has many path but one destination. It is important to choose the right direction and path in life.

[@gabrielrivest3872]

You are just so good honestly. I see so many things on KZbin about "not being a good guy" or how to be an alpha or high value man and stuff like that... I try to build myself an opinion but what you present in the end just seems to always be the most sane and good way to see things.

[@owowhatsthisjustme]

Doesn’t matter how much you improve yourself they always go for chad and Tyrone in the end

[@justacoginthefkery]

All of those types of videos are centered around attracting women who aren't likely to be long-term or healthy relationship material though. For example, using negging/ backhanded compliments or ignoring games to manipulate others are very likely to attract broads who aren't emotionally stable or mature, have unaddressed abandonment issues & deep-rooted insecurities. Those types will give chase not because they truly like the guy, but because they want the ego high of being "picked" in the moment. At the same time, those games will even drive off the stable ppl who view being ignored as a boundary of non-interest to be respected & negging as an insult & a red flag of a potential abusive personality type. The entire "high value" concept is also centered around a materialistic focus. If you use your wallet as bait, you're naturally going to attract more gold-diggers. It absolutely behooves men to also look at the source of who they are taking advice from & use some discernment. The mid-20s who've never had a stable relationship obviously can't give advice on successful LTR. The guys who surround themselves with gold-diggers, party girls or OF models can only speak on attracting those specific types. Men who are multi-divorcees or have a long string of failed relationships with zero successes clearly can't speak on how to vet properly or maintain a long term relationship. There's a lot of all 3 of those out there attempting to give men "direction" these days which is a big part of some problems.

[@Batzarn82]

Many of these questions are red flags to me in itself. If I went out with a girl and she was bringing a bunch of negativity (the first two questions) and trying to test me (like the feminism question) I’m out. I go out on dates in good faith and to get to know them. I think more serious questions come later. Also, the fact this came from Reddit I knew would be a red flag in itself. It’s not a very diverse place by and large.

[@LTV_inc]

Very well done. Your advice is intelligent yet not dogmatic I love people like you at dinner parties. I’m listening. 😊

[@josephlombardo1267]

Heading out to a first date Totally going to use the $1M question! Thanks for the refresher ☺

[@marcneef795]

Green flag: none of these questions is being asked and both persons just have a nice conversation. 😊

[@lawrence31415]

On one date, the woman jokingly asked me if I had any red flags. And I told her, "Yes, my favorite sports team wears red!" That's when I found out she and I rooted for different teams, haha

[@Mister_Ben]

I've got to try this! Mind if I steal it?

[@marks984]

I do have a red flag. And the first time you say something false I will be dropping that red challenge flag.

[@keepmovingadventures9102]

Very well said on the tattoo question…. I feel the very same way. People have their preferences and that’s not controlling at all.

[@Mister_Ben]

Thanks Courtney! Your videos are always so affirming and encouraging. Thanks for not only reminding men that they can have standards, but encouraging us by reminding that there are lots of good women out there (unlike what many would have us believe). Some of these questions would introduce a bit of tension, so I'd generally try to be comfortable despite the tension (maybe throw in a little humor to keep things amicable), ask her the same questions to see how she answers, and not try to break the tension, but ultimately let her decide if her question was intended to introduce tension and if she wants our date to be tense. I'd love to see how you rate my answers! My answers: Anyone upset i'm on this date: "Not that I know of... I certainly hope not! Is there anyone upset that you're on this date? Learning points from last relationship: "I've never dated before!" If you won the lottery: "How much are we talking!? Just kidding! Great question! I'd probably pay off my parents house, invest enough to where I could survive on dividends enabling me to do what matters most to me, and slowly invest the rest in people who need it. OK, your turn!" Shameful stories from my teens: "Interestingly, most of the things I'm still ashamed about are things that should hold no shame. There are, however, a lot of shameful mistakes from my teens that I made, but I've resolved them by apologizing, doing what I can to make things right and either toughening up and accepting the consequences or eating humble pie and accepting forgiveness. Are there any stories that you'd like to tell?" Tattoo: Cool! What are you planning to get? (if she asks me if I like tattoos then I say) "I'm not the biggest fan, but I probably just don't yet understand the art form and the culture surrounding it. Who knows! Maybe i'll change my mind?" Believe in aliens: "I think that, when someone is brave and determined enough to go to a foreign country, I wish the best for them... so yeah, I guess I do believe in them" What is feminism: "Unfortunately I've not figured that one out yet! I've heard a lot of different explanations from a lot of different people. Has that been on your heart recently?" Do you have pets: "Thanks for asking! Yes I do! Better not get me started on them though, your ears might run away." Seeing how you treat women: This is a good one guys. Just treat them well. Not only could it make or break a date, but treating everyone well will come back to benefit you, plus it just feels great. Who won the 2020 presidential election: "I did" Eating at places with bad service: Have a sense of humor guys! Maybe suggest that you pick the place next time lol. Don't tickle me: "Of course, you'd have to take me out to dinner first." Just letting us talk: Guys, you shouldn't fall into this trap, because you shouldn't spend the whole night talking anyways! Just ask good questions! If she intentionally refuses to engage with you, then just politely be silent too. If it is apparent she is unengaging because she wants to see you mess up, then she shouldn't be on a date with you, be kind to her, but find someone who's actually ready to connect.

[@MessageInABottle869]

The first question is not a good question to ask, most men would say no even if it’s not true so I wonder what women think they will found out by asking that.

[@jacksobe]

I think a lot of these questions aren't so direct, but come across in the form of "shit tests". I dated a girl once that made a lot of money modelling, and she would go and blow it all at the casinos. She said to me on our first date, "I love reading Consumer Reports magazine because I want to see if I'm getting the best deal." This was a shit test, and her way of weeding out someone she perceived as cheap or frugal, which would not be compatible with her lifestyle. At the time I didn't know what a shit test was, so I just agreed with her, and there was no second date.

[@LightsCameraJake]

So mind games. Yeah you dodged a bullet.

[@m.c.martin]

Honestly, people who can’t be stingy with their money spending are always going to be unhappy. Some women just don’t get that, and models think they’re going to be doing that forever

[@Ash_Wen-li]

​@@m.c.martinBlows through her money being a boss babe and then marrying rich or ending up single

[@SinsOfScience]

Thank you for all your great advice. Been watching your videos for a long time, but haven't commented in a long while. But, I HAD to comment just to say this: THANK YOU for not talking about politics. Seriously. THANK. YOU.

[@aaront4472]

All you have to do to discover women’s red flags is to give them the silent treatment. They can’t handle silence.

[@Shah-of-the-Shinebox]

Boom

[@Danishmastery]

Right on the money. They can’t handle having validation taken away from them.

[@Koettnylle]

Ironically, deliberately ignoring someone would be a red flag.

[@noserialkiller3596]

When Courtney speaks, I feel relaxed. No Serial Killer.

[@thrilla72]

She's got a soothing voice, surprised she isn't a therapist or a nurse

[@noserialkiller3596]

She should've married me. I have so much misery to give her. No Serial Killer.@@thrilla72

[@visaman]

​@@thrilla72she is all of that and Super Model, in her spare time.

[@Krucifus]

lol adding "no serial killer" to the end of any sentence only makes me think "why did you mention that?"

[@carybaney2548]

This is the most fair and balanced channel I have seen. You have good input Courtney. Keep it up!

[@bgb9822]

Holy crap I literally had the same answers that you did about winning a lottery. Although I don't have kids ( I can't have kids) but I have a niece and a nephew. I love your channel. You are so awesome. Keep up the great vids!

[@user-jn7ud7cu5w]

Question #1: "Would anyone be upset that you're on this date?" NEVER has this been the case with me. Matter of fact, I'VE been the one having to ask my date that over the last 7 years because the women that enter my orbit almost never clean their plate....especially since Instagram came into the picture, my God. It's insane. My folks ask me when I'm getting a wife or having kids. I have to tell them it ain't happening any time soon. Unfortunately, there's a HIGH probability both my parents will be passed on by the time a significant woman enters my life, if at all. I'm 38, so the chances of finding someone who hasn't been married, had children my age AND dont have any serious character flaws is VERY slim. Question #2: "What I learned from my last relationship?" Love isn't everything. You need to be responsible about your finances, your time, etc. Also, There is no such thing as "soul mates". A successful relationship happens only when two people decide and commit to the idea that they live completely for the benefit of the other person, there is no longer an "I", but an "us". Most people nowadays cannot grasp that, which is why all these relationships fail. They aren't living to be of service to their partner and their love/affection is conditional. That WILL NOT work. Question #3--What was something I was ashamed of as a teenager?" Nothing really, truly. I was pretty chill and never got into trouble. I was (and still am!) REALLY into music and spent most of my time learning an instrument and listening to everything I could, instead of smoking pot, pissing off my parents, getting laid, etc. I wish I was maybe a bit more popular and I wish people came over my place to hang out when I was a teen, but that's really it. I was just a bit lonely. I dont blame myself though, because unlike other kids who grew up with the space to duck away from their parents, I had mine on my ass 24/7. I lived in a very small house and my bedroom was less than two feet away from theirs, so there wasn't shit I was gonna get away with. And it wasn't like I had super-close friends that would've let me stay with them if I got kicked out, so I knew better than to push my luck. As a side effect, I was seen as lame among my (spoiled rotten) peers. Question #4: "....Tattoos" Not into women with tattoos, as a general rule because it isn't feminine looking. It also screams you may have serious issues and you may have problems with impulse control. That is not a good indicator of someone that is good for a lasting, monogamous relationship. Plus there is nothing sexier than the clear skin of a well-kept woman. Tattoos make you look like you have a disease or something and it WILL (I repeat, WILL) look terrible when you get old. Question #5 "Do you believe in aliens?" Anything is possible. Do you think as expansive as this galaxy, universe, etc is, that we'd be the ONLY intelligent life forms? I can't imagine we would be. Whether you believe in God is irrelevant...do you think God would ONLY make humans? I dunno. I like to keep an open mind about this kind of stuff and simply say "I don't know". Question #6 "What is feminism" CHECK PLEASE!! Question #7 "Do I like animals?" Yes, but I STRONGLY feel that you should not own a pet unless you have the time, space and patience to properly care for one. You should not own a friggin Cane Corso living in an apartment. Question #8 "Who won the 2020 election?" CHECK PLEASE!!

[@sinisterkyle4884]

💯

[@johnadams1281]

bro we're literally the same haha, definitely asking for the check if they ask question 6 and 8 lol #MAGA24

[@thiacari]

Everyone has character flaws, you just have to find someone whose flaws are endearing to you :) By 35, many women have kids, that's true. But usually the ones with children have also learned more about what's important in life, and how to give of themselves. Then again, they might have less tolerance for male immaturity. Women without kids might be a bit inflexible and set in their ways. But as long as you're willing to grow a bit, and they decide to change a bit too, a partnership is plausible! If the base infatuation is there.

[@ElTheJono]

Anyone asking most of these questions is a red flag.

[@alcorrado6865]

Your reactions are golden! I think I'm gonna watch this again just for those 😆 The more I watch your videos the more I appreciate how genuine you really are.

[@alejandroperez-xf3qb]

I love your channel and thank you for all your help. YOU ARE AMAZING COURTNEY 😉😉💐💐

[@paulymac5513]

I think a person's actions are what counts instead of asking questions so much because people can tell some good lies about themselves. Spend some time to see how he treats other people and pets, etc.

[@jimbopumbapigsticks]

Completely agree. Judge people on what they do, not on what they say. Actions reveal character.

[@besafredl]

There were some good questions (lottery, aliens, animals), but most of the other ones were massive red flags in and of themselves, that would have me pay the bill, get up and end the date right then and there.

[@markspence3750]

I did not like your videos at first, but the more videos I watch, the more I think you are spot on. Great video!

[@czlowiekwidmo121]

OMG you were so SPOT ON with about expressing preferences... Same with mansplaining - I get this a lot, especially when the other person does not have any substantial arguments. You prove time after time that you are 100% non-biased and objective, as well as deeply insightful. I love your videos and yourself for that. Thank you so much!

[@bogdankovalenko5096]

Any of those question during the date is huge red flag. Pretty much the dealbreaker.

[@TheProtonSpinner]

Oh yeah, taking queues from a Reddit article is going to make for an interesting first, and most likely last date. "A census taker tested me once...." 🤣

[@slimdifference08]

Hey courtney. Another Great video. While I agree with your comment on politics, I think it is important to observe a partner's ability and willingness to embrace new information or alternative points of view even if they don't agree with damn. I know for me a conspiracy buff or know-it-all would be an automatic turn off however in these situations I don't have to ask about politics because if someone's in know it all this will generally come out in the course of the conversation anyway. As for the comment about deliberately choosing restaurants with bad service to see how your partner reacts, while it is important to observe how your partner reacts to disappointment or unexpected challenges, when does not have to manufacture a situation to test this because it will generally arrive on its own eventually anyway. Eventually the partner will be disappointed or will encounter a difficult situation and you will then be able to observe how they react to these situations. I am generally uncomfortable with the idea of manufacturing situations just to see how your partner will react.

[@wanaster1themetalhead144]

The best advice I have is don't think about what she wants to hear. Answer for yourself the way you think is best. Only then is your life truly yours.

[@trentreffner5699]

"Ask about other women in their lives - mother, sisters, friends. Pay attention to how they interact with female waitresses/cashier's/etc. See how they treat women they are not necessarily trying to impress in the moment." This right here makes me want to ask "Ask about other men in their lives - men under 6 feet tall, don't make 6 figures a year, or have a $5 footlong, etc. See if they fuck the men they are not necessarily trying to impress in the moment."

[@tavrincallas3218]

Why do you compare being nice to women we as men may not be interested in and fucking men women may not be interested in? LMAO That's a very moronic comparison to make, it almost made sense until the end. It's perfectly ok to ask them how they treat guys they're not trying to impress

[@amandaforrester7636]

Being kind doesn't equal sex, dude.

[@trentreffner5699]

@@amandaforrester7636 but women who fuck one dude who is courting them while stringing another along and making him jump through hoops when she has absolutely no interest in him sexually, but will feign kindness and interestest because having him in her life thinking there is a chance benefits her in some way are NOT being "kind." And you know that is what women do as their nature. Do not deny this with anecdote.

[@trentreffner5699]

@@amandaforrester7636 but you are right... a woman's idea of being kind is not using every means in her disposal to make your life a living hell... what a great gift women offer. Too bad they don't give it more often. I guess they believe it will become overused. Fuck my life.

[@jimmusthegrimmace]

@@amandaforrester7636 and being present doesnt mean free meals yet you demand those regularly.

[@danothin9137]

So much of this interrogation first date style can completely be jumped over if you get to know someone a little bit before asking them on a date. Dating should be, “hey, this lady I find attractive sparks my interest and I’m looking for a life partner so I’m going to ask her out to express my interest and allow us the opportunity to get to each other”. Most the time now, all we know is they’re physically attractive and we want to get in their pants. So many dating flaws/schemes would be avoided if we completely got off social media.

[@user-cz5lj2vx1f]

WISDOM on your part! If only your outlook was more common.

[@nathanowen4226]

Hi Courtney Ryan, this is Nathan and u do a great job on your videos. Keep up the good work 🤗 ❤🌹

[@patwalsh2868]

Hi Courtney, This was a very interesting video ! I agree with some n disagree with others , some were so blatantly common sense , I am polite , n try to make it the best time that I can with what we’re doing, to where we are , I’m Protective n a Total Gentleman , a Warrior Poet ❣️ I’m just myself n go with what comes naturally to me ; seems easy to me, I’ve walked up to this Hot Babe n walked across a empty dance floor with live band , n asked her to dance , cause my Bud was scared, n we danced all night !!! Lead singer was her man n he thanked me !!! How Cool , I hung with the band !!!!! Thanks Hun !!!😊

[@zsguitaraccount4283]

Some of these are really good and some not so much. The first question flew right over my head. Stop sugar coating and just ask the person if they're already seeing someone or not. The tattoo question is another one. Instead of coming to a potentially false conclusion that a guy is controlling because he simply doesn't like tattoos. Maybe the guy doesn't like them because his past experiences with tattooed girls led him over time to identify and associate particular traits in behavior or attitude that he found undesirable, especially when he compared them to untattooed girls. It would help some of these ladies to expand their horizons of understanding and to critique the effectiveness of their own inquiries. If a question poses the possibility of more than one understanding or misinterpretation, it would be a lot more beneficial to ask the guy to elaborate on his reasoning of opinion than to automatically make a bad judgement about him.

[@FirstLast-cd6vv]

In contrast, men don't need to ask questions to discover red flags in women.

[@user-hs8wo9mf9c]

Hi Courtney, I watch several of your videos and other self-help videos about dating and what woman want in a man. I also learned a lot about dating and how to approaching a woman. I feel overwhelmed that I almost afraid of going out that one wrong word doing something clumsily that I will fail. I need to be myself, but I will put my best foot forward and do the best I can to.

[@ash_dando]

Practise, practise, practise. When you ingest new knowledge, you also need to take action. Don’t worry about making mistakes - you will get better on each try. Getting out there and trying to at least say “Hi” to women, and teaching yourself that rejection is not actually bad, will do wonders. Do it over and over again and journal your progress - you will see that you gradually get better.

[@genesultry6447]

This young influencer/u-tuber is a treasure, a real breath of fresh air, as they say. I like her! Well, done, Mrs. Courtney Ryan 💜👍

[@seth_piano]

"What did you learn from your previous relationship?" I actually adore this question. I've become aware about how I perpetuated the way my parents treated me as a child and passed along that same treatment to my partner - for better or for worse. I think getting into specifics becomes gossiping and trash-talking and I don't want to do that. I just want to make a conscious effort in the future to think more critically about how I'm treating a future partner and not just passing along the same treatment I was handed. I like all the questions that are in this! I dislike how some of them have sneaky motives. I don't take issue with being asked "what is feminism". I just don't want to be ridiculed for "mansplaining" it. I think any question asked in good faith is fine :)

[@batman3217]

Those Questions are on a Job Interview.

[@ElijahGartin]

I just have to say, based on your responses to some of these questions, your husband is a very fortunate man. It's refreshing hearing your take on things. Thanks!

[@branandubh]

I love how you stand up for the men a bit, it's very touching. I think we need to end the gender wars and try to understand each other more.

[@Ed-xv4sy]

If only MEN had the dignity and self respect to walk away from the dating sewage.

[@thefox47545]

MEN do, simps don't, and there are too many simps making males in general look bad.

[@cheyennesmith3365]

Refusing to date is not a flex for men.

[@thefox47545]

@cheyennesmith3365 I think he means the "sewage" part of dating. There are still good women out there, but there's a lot of sewage. Some guys dive head first into the dating scene right into a pool of sewage despite the warnings. They gotta think more with their heads rather than with their other lower heads.

[@neoreign]

@@thefox47545 I second this. We're in a simpdemic right now🤣🤣

[@karuns9500]

If i won the lottery i would build a dome to prevent gold digging women from getting in. 😂

[@cheyennesmith3365]

Or you could simply just don’t date gold digging women.

[@chrisquedenbaum3972]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ you always have great messages

[@joqiii3]

I think question number 1 can be phrased differently. I have had only one date since my wife passed. I met the lady on app so when we met for lunch, we decided to discuss the ups and downs of online dating.

[@sibarra417]

9:25 yes I do believe in Aliens and yes I do believe that ancient human society has been visited by Extraterrestrials I do watch ancient aliens.

[@Max1musPrime]

For me, the political aspect is super important. I’m super into that and passionate about my country and it’s hard when even some of my closest family and friends vehemently disagree. I generally have to suppress that part of my interest but you can’t do that in dating, especially since it’s so important. There will be a lot of hard conversations as far as that’s concerned in my dating life.

[@bigneiltoo]

So if you say you support your country then one of the following must be true: A) You're a Trump supporter. B) You're a liar.

[@Max1musPrime]

@@bigneiltoo Definitely a Trump supporter. The biggest. 🇺🇸

[@joshuaortiz2031]

Were you in the military

[@Max1musPrime]

@@joshuaortiz2031 Nope. I never had the opportunity.

[@alphawlff]

I am upfront and honest from the beginning about myself with women. All of the bad things about me are told. Not too many have walked away from me.

[@Strive1324L]

Good for you Court, that you don't drink alcohol. I'm middle aged, and have had VERY little, alcohol. I don't drink because I have seen what it's done to members of my family, and that was a BIG eye opener for me. You made the right choice, Court 👍

[@Tele-grem-CourtneyRyan01.]

L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🎄🌝✝️.....

[@Xraviz]

These questions are a red flag for me 😂 I’m glad that you also thought they were weird Courtney.

[@andrewgray1965]

re: tattoo question. I find tattoo's distasteful. The more of them there are, the more distasteful it gets. So, it's not about me controlling, it's about me not choosing you if you get tattoos. You make your choice, I make my choice. If you have tattoos, you'll need to have some very serious positives to compensate for the negative. At this point, if you're about to tell me I'm insecure. Nope, think more deeply, I know it hurts, but you can do it.

[@arckocsog253]

I hate tattoos. I know they’re popular now, but I still find them low class

[@mylesaway2566]

The number one lesson I learned about maintaining and growing a healthy and stable relationship is simply communication. Being able to communicate and articulate yourself so the both of you can come to a mutual understanding to resolve any conflict is really the bread and butter to any healthy relation. The second point would be that I shouldn't compromise my own needs to meet hers, so basically, don't be a simp, but there is an accept ion, if you have a kid. In this case, your kid always comes first. The third would be learning how to forgive yourself and reflect. Regardless how abusive or toxic that last relationship was. Life without forgiveness, is living in a prison. Learn from your mistakes and use them to become a better version of yourself. Lastly. Don't ever get into a romantic relationship with a women twice your age.

[@thiacari]

It's also important to differentiate needs and wants. Needs: many times a week alone time, bro time, sports, extra work. Occasionally cooked meals. Wants: many hours of hobbies every day, extra work every night for years, wants everything cooked clean and laundered with zero input, can't participate in kid pickup/care Through discussion a couple can work out their needs, and make sure the needs of both are met. Then, if there is time/money/energy left, it can be spent on wants. If someone is disrespecting all your needs, it's a red flag, on both sides.

[@mark_nemecek]

11:05 - "I'm questioning this article now." Yeah, me too. 🤣

[@Dr-Alexander-The-Great]

I don’t know about red flags. But my favorite country is Switzerland. Because their red flag is a big plus 🇨🇭

[@drip369]

That is a bonus ha ha haaa

[@Hoffanheim]

Good to know i‘m from Switzerland😄

[@Ifalvarado]

And I bet they accept it too!

[@CourtneyRyan]

Hahahaha

[@Bombadil-ez9ns]

It used to be that Libya was the greatest green flag. But sadly, they've gotten away from that.

[@ChrisW1019]

On the subject of cats and dogs, I think people associate treating one's pets with how they would treat and raise children. I see why people would ask that on a first date. How well someone likes or dislikes cats and dogs is not the be all end all.

[@humanpsychology.1]

Very helpful topic

[@tylerbentley6121]

Courtney, I think you always have great advice and opinions!

[@listerinr]

For the lottery question: cocaine and prostitutes 🤷‍♂️