Signs Of A High Value Man (A Woman's Perspective)

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[@ejays99]

The Dinner thing kills me. With the amount of times we get ghosted after the first date, these girls ARE NOT getting dinner out of us anymore LMAO. I feel like an absolute clown when I put so much effort and money into a first date, to never even get a text back. I'll stick with a drink or coffee first, sorry ladies.

[@GreiverFenix]

100% agree.

[@garbageday99]

Why are you paying for her dinner on the first date?

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

Don't be sorry. Unfortunately, so many women use first dates for free dinners that I won't do it anymore.

[@mrquick6775]

@@garbageday99 Because we as MEN have been preprogrammed by women AND society to take the risk and then not complain when we get shytted on by women. Yes, the game is rigged against men so BAD that we’ve been taught to not only finance the risk, but to understand that this is just part of how women behave and we’d better not have anything negative to say about these parasitic narcissistic women, or the processes involved(state, government, simps, etc) that also lend themselves against men and that shame us into being quiet! I’m glad more and more men are taking all these things into account and starting to ask the right questions. What’s in it for us? Instead of just being expected to open our mouths wider and not question the default settings but just swallow it whole, hook line and sinker!

[@jamarteamer1281]

I agree, no steak dinner on the first date, coffee date will suffice and lately ladies haven't had a problem Witt that, if coffee goes well who knows maybe we venture somewhere else after the coffee shop like movie, or last weekend I went shoe shopping with her cause she had to get some shoes

[@collegegymgains1012]

Here are some tips from some of my experiences: 1. Only put in as much effort as she does. 2. Use texting primarily as a way to set up a date. You don't want to become the girl's penpal. Be straight to the point. 3. Don't go in with expectations for what is going to happen. 4. Prioritize yourself. Develop some hobbies and some things to fill your time with. 5. Rather than trying to find a girlfriend, try finding people that associate with your goals and values.

[@radioactive.11]

The 5th one is actually really helpful because I've been really struggling get back into the dating Market and trying to at least find people to talk to but in the last few years I really achieved some goals that I really wanted to achieve and now I'm kind of goal less trying to find new things to set as goals

[@johnhaywood9799]

Hi Courtney, Fabulous video. I never expect any intimacy for at least 3 months at least. You have to get to know one another first. I would always respect her wishes at all times.

[@streetfreakpatrol240]

@@johnhaywood9799 3 months? SIMP

[@games4us132]

​@@johnhaywood9799after two month you'll see her with other guy.

[@drilldesigner]

Agreed

[@user-og2wt3le4j]

Dinner is okay but I had a woman take me on a reverse date once. She packed a nice picnic lunch and we sat in a park for two hours eating our food and having a nice conversation with no interruptions. As a guy I appreciated the effort on her part.

[@johndingo7527]

i had a first date where she caught the ferry accross the river and met me in the park. I greated her with a picknic that was simply chicken and wine. it was just nice and simple, and we both enjoyed ourselves. we ended up being married for 10 years. unfortunately we broke up, but i still have fond memmories like this one, and wish dating could be as simple as it was back then.

[@user-og2wt3le4j]

@@johndingo7527 Those were the days. A friend of mine saw his future wife at a train platform in Paris. He was mesmerized. He went up, struck up a conversation, and fast forward they have been married for 34 years.

[@awsambdaman]

An awesome gesture! Men just need appreciation

[@Jumpingjackflash123]

Yeah now you HAVE to have sex with her. What a bummer!! 😂😂

[@CaptCanuck4444]

My son just started university and he's met this girl who brings him homemade lunches at school regularly. I think that's the cutest thing ever. He's a high value male, and she knows it. Tall, handsome, athletic, smart, funny, polite and from a good family.

[@oldkayakdude]

First sign of a low value woman - makes a list of random expectations and posts a video on tiktok about it.

[@pmaitrasm]

😂😂😂

[@Akira-ph5dv]

Yep

[@KlaustheViking]

But when “red pill” men do the same thing, it’s not the same?

[@zegy8454]

Not random dude wtf If you want to be with a high value woman you gotta be high value as well, and this list seemed pretty reasonable to me. Not saying that all women that ask for these things in a man are worth it, that's up to the guy dating her I guess

[@thechupacabra123]

I don't think that's true at all. Nothing about her expectations are random and all kinds of people make tiktoks, but you do you booboo.

[@ajtaylor8750]

What is so wrong with a coffee date? It works in the favor of both people to have something simple when they first get to know each other, as opposed to going out on a dinner date which seems more suited for people who are familiar with one another.

[@CourtneyRyan]

I’m with you on this! It really comes down to the individual but I’ve gone on coffee dates before and it was a great experience. To each their own I guess 😂

[@jmagicd9831]

I think dinner date is appropriate if you ask out someone you already know. For someone from an app, not a chance. Give both people an out and if it goes well, dinner a week later is more doable.

[@jmagicd9831]

@@inkedsleeve4226 A dinner date is not dispositive for being broke either though. Most people are debt ridden and shouldn’t be eating out at all. It’s not poverty, it’s financial responsibility especially in a, high-risk, low-return situation like a first date. Open up the wallet more as you build rapport and trust, but not before

[@Wonderwoman79G]

Coffee dates means that you cannot afford to date or you are low effort to most women.

[@kellygreenii]

@@inkedsleeve4226 No. It means that the person hasn’t “EARNED” a higher level of investment yet. No GF benefits on a first date. If I’m going out with someone I know from another context…and know there is attraction and some degree of rapport? Sure, I’ll risk spending more on a first date. But if this is someone I’ve met online? No. I’m not going chain myself to someone for hours who may not be who she presented herself to be, and where there may be no chemistry in person. If she’s unwilling to accept a coffee date, then that’s a red flag. She’s more into the money and the “experience” than she is into getting to know the person. Go take advantage of someone else….

[@yenibobenny]

What makes the couple stand out together even further is if she is just as polite as he is and says thank you when he holds the door open for her. Showing appreciation for the gesture is just as important.

[@Lee1517]

Well said

[@joehawk9839]

That's been one of my number one rules when dating. If a woman or myself doesn't say thank you that sends up a major red flag. It shows you that the person expects it and doesn't appreciate it. No thanks not for me. Totally agree.

[@joashedwards7206]

Holding the door? We in 2023 not the 50s

[@yenibobenny]

@@joashedwards7206 Well, yes. I also hold the door open for anyone that is behind me and have noticed the difference in attitude between men and women. An older gentleman was borderline sentimental when he said thank you and it made me feel terrible about how he must be treated daily. Women on the other hand more often than not don't even give me a nod.

[@joashedwards7206]

@@yenibobenny Well imma believer in supreme equality and people should open the door for themselves unless the person is disabled or and elderly person sure but to young people ? Hell nah especially when ur on a date like I don't get the holding the door, pulling out the chair for her paying for her meal and all this gestures ....for what? Why are we men pedestalising on the first date it would make more sense if she was your wife but a first date? And most women don't reciprocate that? What's the point of wasting that time and energy???

[@user-jn7ud7cu5w]

Reminder: this stuff only is valid if the woman is interested in you to begin with. If she isn't CLEARLY into you, there is no amount of taking the lead, showing you are punctual, making plans, confirming plans---or any of that stuff---that will get her to commit to a date. You WILL be flaked on and all this effort will be checked off as being "creepy".

[@Laughing_Individual]

Exactly. The attraction has to be there first.

[@tomcavanaugh5237]

Even if you wear the right kind of shoes?

[@poeticeclipse]

This also goes for a man. A man wouldn't even put in this effort if he wasn't interested to begin with.

[@danwarner7816]

I can't stand fake relationships rather have woman whose truthful, genuine and kind than someone who takes you for granted 👍

[@risnlion6439]

Ive been considered above average in terms of looks(I dont see it), and even then 99% of women don't give me a chance. Whether I approach them in public or online dating. It's all bs. The 2 things that matter are confidence and not caring.

[@GreyWind86]

Men...it doesn't matter how you approach...if she's not attracted to you, you will always be labeled as a creep.

[@maryamadedeji24]

That mean you dating above you leave ,the woman you are approaching have low interest in you

[@magdavelas]

Terse but true

[@grepora]

How do you know she is labeling you a creep? Did she tell you or did someone else tell you? Did she look down at you? Be careful not to read too much into how someone treats you. Maybe she is just having a bad day or tired of guys hitting on her. If she labels you a creep when you are trying not to act like a creep, then she is a low value woman (or a narcissist) no matter how attractive she may appear. A high value woman will always appreciate a man who acts like a gentleman towards her, regardless of whether she finds him attractive.

[@trnovsky33]

@@maryamadedeji24 no she is on his lv but thing she has hight value

[@spaceoddity2485]

100% true

[@JDMDNP]

When I was single and doing the (online) dating thing, I initially took everyone out for a dinner date. Let me tell you, that stopped after about 8 first dates because every single one of them I knew within 10 minutes that person wasn’t for me. It wasn’t really a financial issue, more of a time issue of spending 2+ hours with someone I knew wasn’t for me. I started doing coffee dates after that. If I didn’t see chemistry then I’d end it in about 30 minutes. I eventually meet my wife of almost 10 years on a first date for coffee.

[@risnlion6439]

Just because you don't feel chemistry with someone on a first date, doesn't mean you wont on a later date. I can't even tell you how many times I've been dropped after a first date. This is why so many people are single and miserable because they never give someone a genuine chance.

[@divinityai]

@@risnlion6439 well, you can give a person chance on coffee date, that's the point,

[@stonalisa3729]

If it's not there on that first date why would it be there later on? The girl just wasn't feeling you and she has so many options that she can easily drop a guy she isn't vibing with after a first date. If i didn't vibe I wouldn't want to waste my precious time either. The chance is that first date @@risnlion6439

[@shanghaitatoo]

I second this. I have kept giving a 'genuine chance' to people with whom I don't feel chemistry, it never ends well. The same for people who given me a 'genuine chance' when they don't feel chemistry towards me, never works out for both of us. Our own Intuition is the number one thing people should trust with dating. Life is too short for not listening to it! My only regret is that I realised this too late, but I'm happy that I got there!

[@admirallightningbolt]

What time do you usually plan coffee dates? It always seemed tough to me b/c anything before noon people aren’t necessarily awake. And it also rules out weekday dates completely b/c no one drinks coffee after 5PM (or should). So that basically leaves two slots: 12-3 Saturday or Sunday, but people are often busy on weekends.

[@CaptCanuck4444]

Coffee and a walk is a great first date. It's a great litmus test to filter out the entitled women and princesses. Most importantly, I don't want to commit to a 2+ hr dinner if it turns out that i know the woman isn't for me in the first 15 minutes. Which happens regularly to men, and women. A feminine woman who is genuinely interested in a man for the right reasons isn't going to demand a "Foodie Call" right out of the gate.

[@adester1]

Expecting more than coffee/tea or meeting in public on a first date is no different than a guy expecting more from her.

[@danwarner7816]

As for intimacy I say give it at least 3 months no longer

[@chadstevens6605]

Agreed. 100%

[@RyuuHou22]

After a month I'd be questioning the legitimacy and potential future myself, barring some personal trauma/reason she may be working through that prevents deeper intimacy than say, hand holding, hugs, or simple kisses.

[@yukisnoww]

@@inkedsleeve4226 So your focus is on the food & place? or to understand the other person? Coffee/tea is fine, we do it as a social thing all the time. It's flexible too, in terms of timing, dressing and is a nice environment overall.

[@danwarner7816]

@@yukisnoww I think woman in video thinks it's boring but she don't want come across as pessimistic

[@xyzct]

The sign of a high value man is a man who is true to himself, and who doesn't pander to this endless, ever-changing list that -- even if you were to deliver 100% -- would be all wrong. Women don't know what they want, even though they are convinced they do. Just do you, and if they like it, fine. If not, that's even better, because most of them only provide high blood pressure.

[@Vortex_ICEcold]

Holy shit someone actually finally figured it out. Well done! You are right. They do not know what they want. They make list and write everything down. But you said something at the start. You said that a high value man is true to himself and doesn’t care about these lists. The funny thing is that the girl who made the list would throw it away once she sees that type of man you described. Furthermore, I think people especially men nowadays need to hear this. A true man doesn’t work on himself to meet the expectations of others. Rather he does it to meet his own expectations.

[@drip369]

That rushing aspect is true, my mother always said the quicker you rush into things the quicker it falls apart and it is true

[@Jumpingjackflash123]

Me and my ex met and 4 hours later we’re fking. Don’t make any difference in terms of 3 years together. In fact if we did the 3 date bs we’d never even get together. It’s different for all

[@ChrisW1019]

For me a sign of a high quality man/woman is intelligence. I hope to find a woman with whom I can have intelligent and enlightening conversations.

[@darth_blackcat1694]

This was one of the key features I found when I first met my wife plus adding she is also an effective communicator. So often we see men and women both unable to hold a basic conversation as well as effectively communicate. As Judge Judy famously said, "Looks fade, dumb is forever".

[@aaron6622]

Intelligence, yes. But it needs to be partnered with a strong moral compass. Otherwise she's just a clever devil.

[@x-man5056]

I like smart women also. But there are lots of intelligent criminal minded women out there. 'Intelligence' alone is not enough to qualify as High Value. There are many high value women out there who are of average intelligence also. Many times they can be a more loving choice. Re-evaluate. Keep your net large.

[@mrquick6775]

@@Tondaloona03 😯👀😁😂

[@Dionysus_Athena]

You’re confusing intelligence with intellect.

[@TheWinterfox10]

It's amazing how much of Courtney's advice needs to be given with the caveat of "assuming you're talking to a woman who isn't an emotional trainwreck."

[@_TeIe-gram_RealCourtneyRyan]

I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🤦‍♂️,,

[@MuahMan]

I'd settle for one not addicted to Xanax and box wine.

[@mhill88ify]

She needs so many caveats, there should be a full disclaimer at the bottom of the screen.

[@Audentior_Ito]

Hard assumption to make! Everyone loves to rag on "blue-haired land-whale feminists," but let's not pretend that we haven't also seen the "conservative Christian single-mom who wants a man to treat me right & expect nothing before marriage." Sociopathy is the new normal for women.

[@WaywardZombie]

If she's a bit of a wreck then let her know you don't want anything serious, just casual

[@matthewroth1]

I know this might sound tacky, but after the first and second dates, if I learn new and "small" details about a girl, I'll make a note on my phone or write it down as soon as I get home for reference in the future... between work, gym, hobbies, and friends, I can be forgetful. This method ensures I can still impress her and over time it will ingrain those details to my memory.

[@man_of_iron]

That's actually a great strategy for networking in general.

[@JamesMedaugh]

To me the expectation of full on nice restaurant for a first date is psychotic. I kind of see her point if it is someone you already know or is in your social sphere, but if you've never met in real life it is a huge risk both financially and time wise. Coffee/drinks/park dates are specifically for making sure the person is who they say they are and are quick and easy. It's wild to want to spend hundreds and hours with a complete stranger. Women on apps need to get with the program on that one. (PS me and my girl also had our first date as a brunch date, so 2 for 2!)

[@justacoginthefkery]

I absolutely agree with this! Modern dating is so backwards to me. The demands for instant & constant communication? The whole point of the chatting stage is to figure out if you want to make the person a priority down the line, but ppl demand to be treated like top priority immediately. I had guys get mad because I wasn't attached to my phone 24/7. Fancy expensive dinners, gifts & intimacy right away? No. That's love-bombing. The effort & investment should increase over time, not be full on right out the gate because it sets a certain standard which isn't sustainable for most ppl. Ppl aren't taking the time to reasonably vet properly, can't respect those who do & want to run way too fast with total strangers. That's why it's such a freaking train wreck.

[@grepora]

It seemed to me that she really wanted to go out to eat. A dinner date seems so cliche. Sure she gets to see if he eats like a slob, but he's on a date so he will likely try to show good eating behavior. Then there is the drama about who pays what. If he pays will she feel obligated or will she just be getting a free meal?

[@alex_tucker]

Dinner is a terrible first date unless you met in person like at a social event. If you meet online anything more than a 15 minute casual meeting (like coffee/tea) is an over-investment and over-commitment which should raise questions.

[@Cooliewhistles]

Exactly

[@citydogpack]

I agree with all this and I do it all when I date. However it seems like a whole lot more is expected out of a man. Planning and paying for dates, dressing up, flowers, Uber, holding doors and pulling chairs etc. All this for a person you don’t even know and you don’t know if she’s even interested or if she’s dating several other men. That’s why the first formal date should be after a coffee or drink meet up.

[@macenwilt3102]

Couldn’t agree more!

[@RyuuHou22]

Amen to that. If we haven't hung out, gone for a simple walk, coffee, or enjoyed being around one another naturally and connected that way first, then no way am I going the full nine yards. And yes, the way she talked, it definitely sounds like she'd be going on these dates with several guys at once. Fuck that noise.

[@hannahstriker]

That is the primary reason on why you should only go on dates with high quality women to begin with. Usually, there exist apparent and obvious red-flags during your first interaction with someone. You should always evaluate the individual you are attempting to date beforehand, so as to avoid any potential misconceptions.

[@FelipeGrisi_]

I went out with a girl these days. We already knew each other and had a little thing in the past. Life just crossed our paths again, but during the date she said she had Tinder gold subscription and more than 4000 matches! And she actually showed me, because i couldn't believe. Man thats more than I could get in 10 lives!!!

[@citydogpack]

@@hannahstrikerthat’s exactly what the coffee or drink dinner is for. It’s to figure out whether both parties are even interested in dating. While you may be able to tell a lot about a person by their dating and social media accounts there is only so much information you can gather. It’s extremely awkward having to sit for couple hours with someone who clearly catfished you yet you’re expected to remain a gentleman and spend a couple hundred bucks.

[@lifesIronyboard]

My opinion, my feelings are mixed on the effort issue. I was in a 30 year relationship and what made it last was both of us were authentic. Effort tends to imply acting in a way not natural to you as a person. I would rather be rejected for who I am than be accepted for who I show the world. At some point, a truly, fully intimate relationship requires all masks to come off.

[@yukisnoww]

yup, it's hard to keep up the act. I feel like people try too hard to be liked, especially when they are attracted to someone initially, but it's really unsustainable and not a good way, since you wind up wasting years or even crossing into marriage, then realising it's a dud. Hard decisions early , easy life later, not difficult too, just stay true to yourself.

[@tpespos]

I think you have a different definition of effort in a relationship than others. In my opinion a relationship without effort is not worth having. Love without effort to me is just continence. It’s not real love. But that’s a different definition than you are using

[@xenon6947]

you are not high quality men in eyes of women.

[@Stanthemilkman]

But if your authenticly a dipshit with nothing going on you gotta change that.

[@CaptCanuck4444]

Disagree. What's made my similarly long term relationship last is the ability to call her on her BS when she was getting a little out of line, and her doing the same to me when i needed it.

[@Laughing_Individual]

I agree a woman doesn't owe intimacy but if we're on date 2 or 3 and she's done absolutely nothing to reciprocate my gestures, then I'm ghosting her. And don't give a damn about how she feels by then. Men want a woman who actually tries. When a woman doesn't even try, then we feel used. We're putting out money that took precious time to make along with extra time and energy on top of that to entertain her. This is why men are sticking with coffee/ice cream/walk dates.

[@chacazulo1987]

What way do you want her to reciprocate your gestures? By sleeping with you? Or what?

[@Laughing_Individual]

@@chacazulo1987 It doesn't have to be sex. It can be her treating you to something for a change or getting a small gift. No matter how small it is. Just a sign to say to guy that he's not a foodie call or an ATM. Women simply have to step up too. That's all I'm saying. Sitting there looking pretty is simply not enough anymore in modern times. This is the dating landscape that modern women have created with the advent of the sexual revolution. They can't be expecting traditional stuff when they're not traditional themselves. Women don't owe men anything. Men don't owe women anything either. Respect has to be earned. Love has to be earned.

[@industrialarts3921]

I kiss her on the first date if I like her - always. If she gives me the cheek it means she's either not interested, has "rules", or it was just a foodie call to get dinner/ validation/ attention. In any case, they don't get a second date. But, I screen them well enough now that I never get the cheek.

[@JEMANF]

You are absolutely right my friend and I agree 1000% percent👊🏽

[@JEMANF]

@@industrialarts3921I like your approach my friend 👏🏽👏🏽

[@aleidius192]

Some women have a very weird attitude toward first dates. When you are on a first date with someone, you probably just met. Why would you expect a TOTAL STANGER to buy you a hundred dollar dinner at the Ritz? Especially when there is a very good chance they'll never see you again. There's no such thing as getting out more than you put in, and at the time of a first date no one has put in anything!

[@dask1516]

Sounds like you watch one too many movies you should never take a stranger out on a date at all that's just stupid. You need to get to know them through texting and talking for at least a week or two before hand and by the time you go on your first date there should already be sexual frustration and eagerness to meet.. never take a woman out on a date that is a stranger that is a huge problem and you should never do that

[@Snarge22]

What I expect from a woman on a first date: Be fit, feminine, friendly, be respectful, and show some grace. That's right ladies. You need to bring something to the table as well.

[@superbob24]

Except men have to do all that too, except masculine instead of feminine.

[@paulx7620]

Absolutely, men's lack of standards beyond they have girl parts is pathetic.

[@paulx7620]

​@@superbob24no men have to do all that and about 2x more. And most women don't even try to do those and still expect men to be 100% on point most women are a joke.

[@Danny328DT]

Be fit, do you mean being normal weight? I'm not judging if you like muscular women though.

[@paulx7620]

@@Danny328DT I generally would use "fit" to mean reasonable endurance and not excessive amounts of body fat. I'd say it's a fair guess he did also. Women just can't look "muscular" without using peds at least compared to the average healthy man. Anyway hope you have an awesome blessed day Mr Danny 😎👍

[@stevenwatsham5973]

If a woman likes you.. She likes you!.. And it does not matter where you go or what you do! Dinner dates are for only when you are in a settled relationship!!

[@FrankM]

Notice, the first two on the list is a demand by the woman, but nothing about what she is reciprocating to the man. I've done dinner dates, and coffee and walk dates. I always paid for the first date, and always sent a text after the date that I enjoyed her company and asked the woman to let me know if she got home safe. I have never received a simple "Thank you for the date" text from the woman. I now use this as a means of filtering out women. If she doesn't -- at bare minimum -- thank me for the date, I assume she's not interested, and I just tell her the next day we're not compatible. It's sad so many women just don't have basic courtesy and kindness.

[@elwoodrussell5097]

That is exactly my experience.

[@briar35981]

Perfect comment ! They want it all and give the bare minimum in effort.

[@JohnMoog-ug6bk]

Dinner date = resource extraction

[@R0d_1984]

It can be, and is far more so these days, but thats not the point of them, it's become so for about 30% (some cities/areas etc maybe 50%)

[@user-cz5lj2vx1f]

Coffee, drinks or walk in park are totally REASONABLE first dates. And any woman who's "insulted" that she wasn't taken to dinner on a first date isn't worth dating! (one of the 5% women who watch Courtney's videos). Let's turn this into EXPECTED behavior: NO expensive dinners on first dates! Period.

[@MysticMike8462]

Agree with all but the fancy dinner date. I think there is less pressure for both parties with coffee/drinks- business casual is great, much less time commitment from both getting ready, ordering, conversation flows better when you aren’t pacing your eating, etc. Honestly, start 1 hour before lunch (coffee) or 1 hour before dinner (drinks) If it’s going well, ask if she is getting hungry and move to a new venue (ideally you planned ahead and food is within walking distance) or if it’s not going well then that’s an opportunity to excuse yourself.

[@joshholibaugh2151]

Sounds like a perfect setup to allow this a women to take advantage of you. Never dinner on the first date, never flowers on the first date.

[@R0d_1984]

I think part of the issue is being able to work out if the women is even worth taking out on the first date, if "we" would even have a 25% chance of success(maybe even 10% ?), the women would be worth it, the tiktocer suggesting 8 dates (8 weeks), it's not just s3x if you want a relationship, but after 8 (3!) dates and you like her, it's getting real tough...

[@dask1516]

Look dude you should never take a stranger out on a date you should talk to the woman for at least a week or two beforehand you should get to know them a lot better by the time you go on your first date there should be sexual frustration and eagerness to meet one another.. sometimes when you meet the person face-to-face both are nervous that's why you should always keep it casual don't go on a fancy dinner date just something simple like a hundred dollar steak house and you should always pay for the first date because you're the one that is asking them out plus it makes you masculine and her feel like a woman and that also builds sexual frustration and it's very attractive

[@R0d_1984]

@@dask1516 And how would you suggest that occur?

[@playthegame7445]

Have u people noticed that is always what men need to do, but u hardly hear of what women needs to do when they need the most improvement

[@R0d_1984]

Women are perfect...

[@drip369]

"I feel like" killed her validity of approach.

[@CourtneyRyan]

I do this too so I can’t even say anything 😂

[@drip369]

@@CourtneyRyan not as often as you think haha

[@EriPages]

​@@CourtneyRyanit's a woman's base response to her environment

[@Mcbevhills]

She lost me at dinner dates. I used to be that idiot

[@EriPages]

@@Mcbevhills Dinner Dates are NOT for FIRST dates They're reserved for AFTER sex, or at least after several inexpensive park/walk/ice cream/errand/etc. types of dates NEVER a first date.

[@bradlawrence5619]

1) If you're approaching dating from a perspective of "value," you're already in trouble. Good relationships are not about "getting what you're worth." Does anyone think about their relationship with their best friend in these terms? 2) Let me get this straight: I have to plan the date (without you criticizing my restaurant selection), be confident AND funny, be chivalrous, have an eidetic memory, compliment you, AND not screw up my shoe selection. All on the first date. 14 points is quite a checklist, and those are the items she's willing to say out loud. Women's lists are always twice as long; they just don't tell you the rest. She's violating the first item on most men's lists: don't be high maintenance and annoying. Good luck out there.

[@THunt-ss4hy]

Great comment. Be yourself. Guys listening to this “high value” advice is putting women on a pedestal. Wear those New Balance trainers to the date to weed her out.

[@letsplaywar]

@@THunt-ss4hy Thank you you're so fucking right just to clarify. Guys listening to this “high value” advice is putting women on a pedestal. i love that advice.

[@THunt-ss4hy]

@@letsplaywar It’s approval seeking behavior

[@Jumpingjackflash123]

Bro, I’m telling you. These are all BS checklists. I was dating for a decade and I did almost nothing on these check lists. It’s WAYYY simpler than the girl makes it seem. Only thing on that list I did 10/10 was good banter and teasing and humor along with decent dressing it. Everything else was improvised

[@letsplaywar]

@@Jumpingjackflash123dress for success.

[@dudemcaverage3903]

Besides the fact, that she has a few points right, let me ask a question: Why does it always comes down to the point, that people make a list, what they WANT or EXPECT from others? How about you make a list for yourself, that allows you to check, if you are a decent date partner yourself? You can expect as much as you want.... If you dont fulfill the requirements to deserve this, you wont get it. Simple prinicple: You harvest what you sow!

[@poeticeclipse]

While I don't disagree with this statement at it's core, we have to remember that men also have a list of wants and needs. We ALL also have standards and if you don't know your standards and what you'll "settle" for or find aligns with your values, you're not going to be successful in dating because you're not self-aware. We should also ensure we're also our best selves in the dating world. I don't disagree with you. But part of that is knowing what we want and what we find fulfilling in our lives.

[@dudemcaverage3903]

​@@poeticeclipseTotally agree. What you can do about yourself AND what you looking for in a partner should go hand in hand. Sadly too many people dont fulfill both sides: its weither what they want without asking what they offer OR they look what they offer, but have no clue what they want.

[@poeticeclipse]

@@dudemcaverage3903 "what they want" is a great point. Too many people are openly stating on a dating app they aren't sure what they want and then people get mad at them when they just want to hook up or just want a one-off date experience. None of us should go into a dating experience thinking we're the exception to the rule and can change someone or make them suddenly want a serious commitment sometime soon.

[@dudemcaverage3903]

​@@poeticeclipse Exactly. Many people have no clue, what they want. Its like they wait for a person to enter their life magically and fill it with sense. In the end we cannot change anyone. We can be an inspiration or motivation to change, but the will to change and the process of change itself, has to come / be done by themselves. Its their life. Its our duty to find out, who we are, who we can be and what we want. Sadly, too many people are deeply influenced by media and got completely lost.

[@R0d_1984]

These lists are made by feminist psychologists for the most part, they are designed to drive men and women apart.

[@Metatarsus0]

I agree with being a habitual gentleman, but contriving situations as a test of gentlemanliness (as many women do) comes across as manipulative and instantly kills any desire I have to do such things. The point of "slow and steady" is that these things will reveal themselves naturally over time. Incidentally, a high value woman to me is authentic in her words and actions. 😂

[@CaptCanuck4444]

Agree. As soon as I get the impression I'm being "tested", I do less.

[@ouroboricscribe3201]

Funny how they all mention communication being key, yet they do the least clear and straight forward attempts if at all.

[@heroedeleyenda05]

This video is a great example of TOXIC femeninity -Manipulation -Setting high expectations while offering nothing in return -materialism She talks about how a woman should not offer intimate companionship until a commited relationship, but the man is expected to provide financial incentives such as gifts and expensive dinner dates before being in a comitted relationship

[@russellhobbs1356]

Kindness is sooooo important yet I have noticed that some women seem to view this from a negative perspective. For goodness sake, a bit of kindness in this crazy world won't do any harm. Just my considered view. But also liked a lot of what the contributor said and she came across as both normal and sensible. Thanks Courtney. Appreciated as always.

[@SharifSourour]

I’ve done a lot of planning in advance with women with mixed results. It has actually worked better for me spontaneous and spur of the moment. More often than not a woman completely ruins all my efforts and expectations for a plan even when I do everything you say here. Worse than that sometimes she’ll do it multiple times which becomes inexcusable. I unfortunately don’t do that anymore as a result and unless there is some kind of business incentive (even that can be shaky) or we’re not already tight, I don’t do the plans just like I don’t usually do dinner dates anymore until we’ve hung out at least once.

[@RonaldGibson699]

Hi Courtney! Remembering small details. Definitely. My friend and I were apart for many years, but we re-connected on FB. She would always get blown away when I would remember her sons' birthdays. "Oh, I can't believe that you remember that!".

[@CourtneyRyan]

Love it!

[@meddyven]

I had the sane type reaction, from a woman I dated for a year, when I texted her and told her I was thinking of her, on veterans day, after her father, who was a veteran. She said " Thank you for remembering my dad".

[@brianbard3410]

Congratulations to you, your one of a rare breed of people who are listeners. It's a shame that this simple trait has become something of a great virtue these days. When someone says that they are bad at remembering names and other things, It usually means that you are a self-centered simple mind that cannot get past themselves to see anything virtuous in anyone else.

[@RaakTheAnnunaki]

I believe a walk in a park is a good first date. You can actually have a conversation and focus on each other. A dinner date as a first date, you can't really focus on each other, cause of distractions.

[@mikeklein1779]

And eating dinner in front of someone you just met is extremely awkward

[@Cooliewhistles]

Not to mention I’m not buying 5 strangers dinner when u find out in first 10 minutes you aren’t a match for three of them

[@RaakTheAnnunaki]

"you a fool for that 1"😂😂😂😂

[@x-man5056]

@@mikeklein1779 Seriously? "extremely awkward"? Never ate on a plane? Breaking bread together is an ancient rite for making new friends. I mean talking with mouth full could be a minor issue but 'extremely awkward' sounds clinical. Are you exaggerating for effect?

[@mikeklein1779]

@@x-man5056 Sure, I've eaten on a plane, but that's a bad comparison. Do you honestly care what kind of impression you make on people that you haven't ever spoken to and won't see again after you land? I don't.

[@ivogriffu6803]

Loved the video as always miss courtney , Idefinetively wanted to see a video like this one because sometimes dating is kinda intimidating but you definetively help us out

[@jtrojan]

I think the list offers sensible advice for a first date. This advice should apply to all men, not just high value men (how you define it). In today's dating environment I think a first date should be simple and relaxed. A coffee shop or lounge should be ok. A man doesn't want to seem cheep, but hey, laying out more money for dinner may not be warranted. After all it's a first date and focus should be on the person not the money. It's said that Me Too didn't just sanitize approaching women, it sterlized it. So men need to be careful about approaching a woman. There is still a good deal of risk involved if you approach the wrong woman.

[@stevensaleh6955]

I think starting out with a drink somewhere (you can get coffee or tea - I don't care) is a nice way to pre-qualify the woman. If it goes well, you can take her somewhere nearby for appetizers, food, etc. Make her pass your tests so you don't waste a lot of time and money.

[@poeticeclipse]

A great way to requalify someone without investing MONEY and a lot of time is by having a FaceTime date! See if there's a little spark or connection. If enough positive energy is exchanged you can amp it up to an in person meeting.

[@dereksalas8195]

A classy happy hour spot is my go-to

[@justacoginthefkery]

​@@poeticeclipse yes! Calls/ vid chat can filter out a ton without any risk or waste for both sides. It was a huge step in my vetting process that not many even made it to. You can gauge listening & convo skills, compatibility, build more connection if it goes well. If they refuse, something is up. If someone can't/ won't accept calls at home after work hours or weekends, they're likely hiding something or rather someone. Super simple, free & easy.

[@RyuuHou22]

I'd be curious to hear what she considers to be traits of a high value woman. These days this whole "high value" thing instantly makes me think of female dating strategy types. Which means I run the other way immediately. Not that most of her points aren't good. Just kinda get the vibe of "what skeletons are hiding" in her outlook on what her part is in everything.

[@poeticeclipse]

I'd love to hear a VARIETY of men from all walks of life make a list about what they look for in a woman and consider high-value. I don't think it's consistent across the board.

[@pace1195]

Obviously, if a man can afford a nice restaurant, flowers, gifts, and be willing to wait for intimacy; he might have a chance depending on how much more is in his bank account instead of just his wallet.

[@RyuuHou22]

@@pace1195 One-sided finances when dating definitely needs to become a relic of the past. Just feeds into this toxic idea that all we offer is what we can provide financially.

[@colingraham1585]

@@poeticeclipse1. She’s hot. 2. She’s nice.

[@pace1195]

@@RyuuHou22 Totally agreed. Unfortunately, there's the old cliche, "Men see women as beauty objects, and women see men as success objects." Very few successes are also not financial.

[@brianthesnail3815]

I accept that I am a 60 year old guy happily in a 40 year relationship with my wife but I am given to understand that modern women regard a 'high value' man as literally high value in a monetary sense. What he earns and what he owns is a starting criteria. The red flag here is it must be nice restaurant, he brings flowers, he must be well dressed, all ways of assessing income. He opens doors, pulls out her chair, acts like a gentleman, a follow up text by the man after dinner? Is this some kind of performance art? What is she doing?

[@nataliakonyashova3085]

As a person who loves buying flowers to women, 5 dollars are enough to buy one rose (in Moscow). I usually pay more than 100 dollars for a bunch (of 25 roses). It's 10% of my month income. Please don't think that it costs us nothing.

[@pace1195]

They know it costs. That's why they like it. It shows you have some amount of money to burn frivolously on them. The question is whether you have something other than money for them to get into a relationship or just string you along for cash and prizes without ever committing to anything.

[@R0d_1984]

Never pay more then the equivalent of $25 and not before the say 3rd date, she has to show that she is actually interested, she may find something she doesn't like still and end it, but at least she isn't eating your wallet.

[@superbob24]

Women love to treat their intimacy as some prize men have to earn, but then act surprised that men are so sex minded. Every single quality women bring to a relationship, men also have to bring, and then a laundry list more of things. Dating is so one sided towards men having to put all the effort in and its so frustrating. Like what would a list like this for women even look like?

[@buddhaweatherby368]

I appreciate that the focus was mostly on behaviors, as these are very definitely within someone’s control.

[@TheCaster26]

I love women who bring me out for dinners , bring me on surprise shopping excursions, shows at the theatre with drinks and weekends away. Women like this are the best for me.

[@_TeIe-gram_RealCourtneyRyan]

I wanna have a discussion with you ❤️ Above🤦‍♂️,,

[@Superabundentlife]

Many of these examples are simple ways to communicate excellence. I work in a public sales environment, and I can honestly say the little things that show you are interested in interacting with a person can set you miles apart from someone just "doing their job".

[@nebula189]

with the first one, you gotta keep in mind it's not just what the woman wants, a man might also not want to or want to go on a dinner date or etc.

[@poeticeclipse]

This is about finding someone who has aligned values and wants.

[@pace1195]

@@poeticeclipse And, you can find that out only while eating at a fancy restaurant?

[@poeticeclipse]

@@pace1195 I never said anything about fancy. My point was that not all men want to do coffee or a walk on a date. Some men don’t like coffee. Some men don’t drink alcohol. Find someone who matched with what interests you. It’s like saying “I only like to go bowling or mini golfing on a first date.” Not everyone wants to do that so you just have to find someone who has similar interests and wants. My boyfriend is a chef and my biggest hobby is cooking, so for us it made sense to make our first date to be a new exciting restaurant for both of us. I’ve had a first date with guy that are picnics in the park where we painted on canvases because we both love art.

[@pace1195]

@@poeticeclipse Fair enough. With the original video wanting men to pay for a nice dinner, flowers, and wear certain shoes; I inserted her points into your comments. I agree with your premise.

[@michaeljohnson6019]

I understand there seems to be a long list of things that women like on a date. Nevertheless I would add that the gentleman should enjoy himself primarily while being courteous to his date as well.

[@simontmn]

High quality woman definitely isn't demanding a 1st dinner date with a man she's never met.

[@Swearengen1980]

No one has ever waited 3 days after a good first date. This is a movie/tv/social media theory that no one in real life has ever done. Some of the comments can't grasp that the woman clearly noted that coffee dates aren't suitable if you've already met. Coffee dates, while not my style, are fine and are popular because most people meet online these days. She is clearly not speaking from a dating app perspective. Next, you can see someone more than once a week without love bombing them or rushing into it. Especially older people who aren't always on the go like 25 year olds. It's presumptuous and a bit absurd to conflate 2 dates in a week to be "rushing things" without all the nuance involved in what type of dates, activities, or conversation that consists of. These are not black and white, right or wrong, all or nothing scenarios. It really seems like most people lack critical thinking skills. I can't even make it past 7 minutes in this video.

[@R0d_1984]

The expectations along with the level of variability is crazy...

[@espenhals8731]

I remember really feeling like a low quality value man in 2021. Trying to not have a scarcity mindset during covid in a small city in Scandinavia is 99% doomed to fail. But luckily i did manage to get out of that pit, and thanks to you, i am getting even farther on my journey in this life as a modern westerner. Keep up the good work!

[@Snarge22]

Maybe this is the mindset to have for Scandinavians ;-) kzbin.info/www/bejne/qnial56Vebqta8k

[@macflod]

I loved my time in Scandinavia, although its big so not seen it all! Which part you from?

[@espenhals8731]

@@macflod More and Romsdal

[@macflod]

@@espenhals8731 nice! I was in Kristiansund!

[@robwrone]

2:48 I'd like any woman's perspective: What if she is initiating the frequent texting? Any reason not to go along with that? Currently in that situation. Woman I'm seeing usually texts me a little while after we've hung out and at some point in the day if we aren't hanging out. Back and forth responses aren't constant, it's every couple of hours throughout the day. I enjoy it. No double-texting if she stops responding or anything like that, obviously. Just seems like she wants to chat and I'm happy to do so 🤷🏻‍♂

[@Teddy_Gautier]

Courtney, I feel like I say this almost every time I comment on your videos, but you’re so wholesome and always make so much sense, it’s honestly very refreshing. It makes me feel like common sense is still common 😂 One thing I wanted to add about the point you made about how expecting anything in return in a relationship can make it very transactional, and feel cold almost, is the fact that if you do anything in life with that approach, I honestly question your intentions. You should be wanting to do something nice for someone else genuinely, not because you expect something in return. Another banger of a video!

[@louisbutler7209]

😑

[@THunt-ss4hy]

I don’t buy dinners for strangers. Dates/dinners are reserved for girlfriends and when in a relationship.

[@victorbaulk8506]

Keep in mind.... all these preferences and rules go out the window if she is really attracted to you. BTW, it is men who determine if another man is high value. Not women. That is why if you want my #1 rule. Have the other men in your life qualify your dates.

[@fredrikbergquist5734]

Isn’t it the other way round: it is her female friends that define a high value man. But a woman like Courtney is too self secure for that.

[@victorbaulk8506]

@@fredrikbergquist5734 Unfortunately her friends aren't the best indicators. There are always exceptions, but Women tend to place their friend's emotions above sense. A guy with 'game' usually has no trouble convincing her girlfriends to validate him, but take him around a brother, father or uncle and you will get true feedback. Also beware of Men in your friendzone, they most likely want to date you and will give you bad advice as well.

[@ozzycortes]

If she doesn’t do coffee for first date, don’t date her. She has to earn the dinner date.

[@pharmcat8484]

Some women just don’t like coffee. Like my wife.

[@CaptCanuck4444]

@@pharmcat8484 You're missing the point. Stop simping.

[@jerpaluck2010]

Being a gentleman is underrated. In a world of guys who are more concerned with being cool and slick with pick up lines you can stand out more being a gentleman!

[@dolphinated]

I always tell my friends the first 90 days of seeing someone, you're meeting the representative. After that, you can gauge what you're in for. Not 100% proof, but pretty accurate.

[@R0d_1984]

Studies have shown that most people will last 7 months (be on their best behaviour), this was first used with people in jobs, though it seems to be much less now...

[@Cooliewhistles]

A high value woman will send you a thank you message after the date

[@elwoodrussell5097]

You mean you buy dinner, provide transportation, entertainment and you expect two words. You are asking way too much.

[@R0d_1984]

"high value" ? You mean a normal sane person... If she doesn't she just got a free meal and doesn't like you.

[@lawv804]

No dinner dates. At least not first dates. If a woman really likes you, she wont care where the date is. If she doesnt like you, feeding her expensive food wont change that. Its also hard to have a good conversation while eating.

[@sak1339]

So much wisdom in one so young! I'm a much much older man, and you have my admiration. I do not doubt your husband extended that first brunch date to an all day date. He is a smart and lucky man.

[@meddyven]

I agree with you, on your response on flowers. Waiting until the 2nd, 3rd date is more proper. I've had mixed results, like I was coming on too strong, so I pulled back on giving them, until later. It is more genuine then.

[@R0d_1984]

You bring you girlfriend/wife flowers, why the frig would you bring flower for a complete stranger that you bring not see again, and you might be just one of many she's testing out, or just getting a free feed out of; Though i get how it makes you stand out, but the expectations are huge.

[@fredrikbergquist5734]

I know a guy that we called ”the Spider”. He made friends with all her friends and then started courting her. This put immence pressure on her.

[@467076]

Immense pressure in a good way or a bad way, this sounds like manipulation lol kinda toxic bro.

[@fredrikbergquist5734]

@@467076 You are completely right but he had good success with the most attractive girl.

[@EriPages]

​@@467076it's worse than manipulation, it's absolute beta orbiter behaviour He should approach her directly instead of trying to angle in as a "friend"...weak AF

[@man_of_iron]

​@@467076how is it manipulation? You're not coercing anyone, just showing everyone that you're a good catch. Typically, a woman's friends will be the first to discredit a guy for whatever reason. If you get on their good side, they can't bend her ear that way.

[@DavidPalmer_blinder]

i started dating my girlfriend on August 8th. We started with just a "coffee date" (we both drink tea). But within 2 hours of that date being done I texted her to a nice dinner early the next week. I made reservations and texted her back to be at the place (a high end seafood place, she told me how it's her favorite type of food). And just after that, each week I would make a different reservation, I would always make sure to show up first (i'm always early for all of my appointments) and we just started developing a very real connection. She told me, straight up, that what most attracted her was my reliability, consistency, confidence and yeah, having a plan. Because she got to just relax and be her feminine self and that to me is just a huge massive win. So yeah, i have to say everything in this list is spot on (well except for the shoes thing, i wear higher end clothing, i have a job that I can afford higher end clothes, but i will not ever wear "dress shoes" lol! nope. Yeah i will wear a very nice blazer, expensive shirt, even a tie, and very nice trousers, but I'm going to wear comfortable shoes!). But yes, spot on with this list, and good for you, Courtney for reinforcing what I thought would just be common sense, but yeah turns it, it isn't.

[@Swearengen1980]

"After that, each week"...Weeks and weeks of dating and you're still not picking her up, but meeting her there? But yes, having a plan and not asking her what she wants to do is where most men go wrong before it even gets started. Too many bitches out there who can't be a man, make plans, and tell her. Most women want a decisive man who takes the lead.

[@DavidPalmer_blinder]

@@Swearengen1980 one minor detail, we live in a large city, very few of us who reside in the city own cars, and i always choose a place within a few blocks of her apartment so it's always super easy. on the weekends i will just uber to her apartment, pick her up, then just add a stop to where ever we are going. it's better than taking the train or finding a cab.

[@delawarehistory1675]

Doesn't sound like the "equality" women are looking for. If they want equality, shouldn't it be 50/50? I'd personally feel taken advantage of after a couple dates of me doing all the work and paying for everything while she preaches "equality". Especially if its high end. If thats a problem for her, she can go on down the road.

[@FamilyManMoving]

There are some nice shoes out there that feel as good as track shoes. Sure, you pay $500 or more for them, but they are worth it. Edit: I wasn't commenting on your dating style. Rock your way. Just suggesting to someone who likes quality to not overlook a nice pair of shoes - the kind that you can take to an actual cobbler to service when needed - not throw in a trash bin. I have a pair that are almost 20 years old - not a daily driver, but I've worn them often enough - that look like new. No rubber glued soles, so flimsy lasts. Comfortable on day one, too.

[@mhussain5669]

I like these longer 20 mins plus videos, esp when its just you, coherent thoughts and you go in depth

[@stillawake76]

Date 1: Just drinks. It’s easy and casual. Some women (and men) are nervous on a first date, so keep it light. Alcohol tends to relax most people, so it can help make the interaction less formal/stressful. Pick a place with good atmosphere, and limit yourself to 2 drinks max. Date 2: dinner If you decide to see each other again, dinner can be an appropriate level of escalation from the first date drinks. Nothing too expensive or fancy. Atmosphere is more important than the food. Find a small restaurant with a cool vibe.

[@_ericescobedo]

I have a first date tonight with a really cool chick I approached over the weekend! These tips were overall great but per usual, I agree with your perspective more. I’m nervous but more so excited and it sounds like she is too. Wish me luck, Courtney! Thank you for your content :)

[@CourtneyRyan]

Ahhh good luck! It’ll be great! ❤️

[@omotayosatuyi252]

Wow did it go bro

[@LABoyko]

Slow and steady wins the race in love as it does in life.

[@Jagshemasher]

I usually always took first dates out for a meal - usually somewhere fairly decent. I think you know after a first date (sometimes it only takes 5-10 minutes) if you are interested in seeing a girl again and I typically would find out if the girl was interested in going out again at the end of the date. Agree with not texting 24/7 - back in the day we didn't have texting so it would be a phone call to arrange the next date - frequency would be weekly initially.

[@isaiahslagboom7512]

Thank you Courtney! You're always posting awesome videos! I bet your husband is very proud of you cause I sure am 😄! Anyway keep it up

[@mrquick6775]

Fellas, you can be sure that the guy that does what the first woman asked to do will not get respect, sex, love or anything else from these women. Time and time again, women will respond to the opposite of what they say they want! Spend as less money as possible and she how she responds to that. If she really likes you the date or place you take her really doesn’t matter. I stopped taking women on dates eons ago and my success skyrocketed! Play at your own risk! Peace and blessings’

[@cam6887]

Girls that don’t like coffee dates are IMO way more likely to be wanting dinner dates so they get free dinners. As a guy who has been going on a lot of dates in the past year, I’ve noticed it takes one whole date to even vet a woman to see whether she’s worth spending money on for a dinner. Dinner dates are at least $50-100 and let’s be honest, women most often don’t want to pay

[@jdarnellsix]

I'll combine others remarks into one. And many of these were ignored, but they were right on. The best one is if a girl likes you or not feeding her EXPENSIVE food WILL NOT make her like you any more.

[@adammanuel63]

This video was very informative and thank you for your time and consistency Courtney, you’re amazing. I think a part of being valuable is to most definitely communicate and express how you are feeling. Even if it’s negative for instance and you don’t want to go on the date. Just communicate that you want to reschedule within a decent time frame (1-2days) but make sure to follow up and care for not only the other’s feelings but for yours.

[@buffman6947]

Flowers and compliments can be seen as superficial and needy in the initial stage. It’s dubious. Also all these points are things she finds attractive in a man she is already attracted to

[@rickm2573]

Guys are starting to do drink or coffee dates as the norm because too many women use guys for a free meal and we're getting wise to it. It's a materialistic/ Gold digger test plain and simple

[@SystematicMechanic]

Yup. Imagine buying some girl dinner and getting no reciprocation. If we wanted to feed strangers we'd just help the homeless.

[@akt1982]

@@SystematicMechanic “If I wanted to feed a stranger, I’d give food to the homeless”. love this. Definitely using it.

[@levioliver3794]

Unfortunately true. As I’ve said elsewhere, assume $200/date. Just 5 dates in a month is a car payment! No loss for the women…

[@morgatron4639]

​@@levioliver3794What car do you drive that costs $1000 a month? Are you counting insurance for that too?

[@aziouss2863]

The opening doors is actually something i have always done for EVERYONE! i am disabled i open the door and use the wheel of my chair to keep it open. Every single time i have done that it was appreciated. No matter who it is man woman neither old young it does not matter they all appreciate it and say ty. Now does the disability "vibe" play into it. Sure maybe. But honestly i cant imagine it going differently if i was anyone or anything else... These gentlemen actions as long as they come from fundamental good nature and not an "expecting something back" Are just good!

[@BillGrahamtc]

A game of scrabble We have a scrabble board in the break room at work. One day I was adding Japanese words to the scrabble. A female colleague came up to me and we struck up a conversation about scrabble and then went into Japanese. Neither one of us know Japanese fluently and we weren’t out to impress one another, but the conversation turned to a discussion about language acquisition and it opened a channel of friendship for us. Neither one of us are looking to date anyone. I’m married and much older than she is: probably close to 40 years older. The point is that not all relationships will be romantic, but real friendships are equally special. Now, we smile and wave at one another at work. You will have many more friends in life than romantic partners. Your circle of true friends might remain small, but anyone willing to be a friend is a treasure.

[@Solista670]

Anyone else agrees with me that perhaps it would be the woman to reach out after the date to thank him for the great time, and not the opposite? As he initiated it, spend (not only) energy to make it happen, entertained her etc. (list is long!)

[@R0d_1984]

Hmmm, not really, the guy would normally say to the girl before you (or in the car) drive her home, or her car, or taxi that he enjoy the date, she might agree (if not ask), either ask if she would want to come out again (if she enjoyed the date) or maybe wait a few days (this is where it get tricky, women are strange).

[@THunt-ss4hy]

Ugh. Come up with a name “high value man” and the list is things that just cater to her. Just do what you want, men, you aren’t seeking approval. Feel more comfortable wearing sneakers to a date? Wear them. Seeking approval is feminine. If she’s into you, you don’t need to do anything. Also remember that women don’t know what they want. Do all the things in the list and she may not like you anyway.

[@pace1195]

Yes!

[@pharmcat8484]

She may not like you anyway, but following this list doesn’t hurt. The whole list is basically just “be a gentleman, be reliable and be confident.” Nothing wrong with those points in dating OR life in general.

[@pace1195]

@@pharmcat8484 Doesn't hurt anything except a man's pocket book when he needs to take her to a nice restaurant on date #1, purchase flowers, and wear high enough status clothes to be noticeable to her. If it was only the three items you mentioned, Courtney probably would not be doing a reaction video on it.

[@levioliver3794]

@@pharmcat8484Meh, I can be a gentlemen and not cater. Sorry, but most of these feel like demands. Why is it all on the guy? She can send a text to say she had a good time, right? But that part is up to the guy as well? So plan it, pay for it, flowers, transportation AND send a text after? 🤦🏼‍♂️

[@joashedwards7206]

​@@pharmcat8484We are expected to be gentlemen but these women are not ladylike in the slightest becuz its too "opressive" for them gimme a break these hoes demanding king like behavior is laughable

[@jeffreybrooks8643]

Regarding appropriate dress, I assert that this goes both ways; both the Gentleman and the Lady ought to show this aspect of respect for each other, as well as the restaurant, etc places they go on their dates. TIP: GUYS buy some high quality dress shoes, shoe polish, and a buffing brush (if you don't know how to do this, then ask someone who does).

[@radioactive.11]

Hi Courtney, Most of things on the list are no brainers to me but I really been struggling to get back into the dating field and have no luck at all meeting women because as you said a lot of guys including me are afraid of getting blasted or reading mix singles and dating apps suck, a lot of goals I have sought out I achieved already like buying my first home and idk if it because rn in life i don't have a big goal to go after or not what very much appreciate your advice

[@Mac_Kymera]

A dinner date should be 3-4 dates in. Men shouldn’t be spending x, y and z on a dinner date when they may end up paying a fortune, only for her to ghost or reject you the next day. I am also a kinda no to the flowers thing. Yes I will eventually but too early on may be perceived as you being soft, nice guy and I’m putting all my eggs into one basket with you. Heavily disagree with the you must confirm the date approach. If you make a date Tuesday and she doesn’t show up Friday that tells me she didn’t plan ahead, isn’t reliable and wasn’t too excited about seeing me. We don’t need last minute confirmations when it comes to doctors appointments. Why? Because we plan for it and are interested in still attending. It certainly adds to the mystery.

[@quasidoc7726]

"indirect communicators" but claim men need to learn how to communicate better. lol Think I said this here once before; Its amazing to me that the female species, who excel at communication (supposably) only send subtle que's to men they are interested in. Its no wonder we all struggle for relationships.

[@R0d_1984]

Usually only other women pick-up the signs, i have a mother and 3 sisters, i learn't nothing about them really, other then that they were neurotic and b!tchy...

[@Grumjum]

I found your channel few days ago. Thank you for all your advice. It means a lot coming from a "high value" woman. I wish you all the success Courtney.

[@Lost1nTranslation]

A high quality woman adds peace to your life. She also supports you from the studio apartment to the mansion. And if you lose your job and you have to go back to the 1 bedroom for a bit, she supports you through that as well. The older you get, the more you realize that these are some of the only requirements for a happy and healthy relationship. Mutual respect is also paramount.

[@I3PREDACON]

The way Courtney paused when she said "Maybe you have a different opinion.".. I really wanted her to say "too bad I don't care for it" Lol!

[@CourtneyRyan]

😂😂

[@samadams6487]

Okay so there are many RP sites and one of them is strong successful male and basically the rule from him never ever ever ever go out to dinner on first date. Always a coffee date or something like that. Maybe, Maybe on a coffee date Maybe pick up a tablet on a dinner date and especially if it's the first one which he does not recommend absolutely not. Dutch. I concur because that first date is more than enough to determine whether you're wasting your time and one should not invest too much time effort or money on something that is absolutely definite to go nowhere

[@expensivefreedom]

My wife and I got married six months after we met and are still extremely happy after three years. The key with dating isn’t the amount of time you spend doing it.. What you do in that time is critical. Our first phone conversation was four hours of discussing beliefs around finance, religion, raising kids, and how to handle crazy in-laws. We aligned perfectly on every one of those points. After that call, we both knew it was only a matter of time before we got married. When we met (I lived in Phoenix and she lived in South Carolina) the spark was definitely there between us, so that was the last hurdle removed. Don’t waste your dating time avoiding the big topics of life. You’re looking for a life partner, so find out if they do life the same way you do and pay attention to whether their lifestyle lines up with their words.

[@matthewzahoor]

I just subscribed so I found this and other videos very thoughtful. I have work to do before considering dating but time is not on my side as I’m old.

[@HiTechGuy310]

I just want to say that I wait for your videos; you always pick smart topics and take the time to discuss them. High quality classy women like yourself are rare.

[@Cr7pt0r]

As a man, after the first date where I planned everything, paid and had a great connection I expect the woman to invite me to a date herself… her inviting me out shows she is also interested and invested in knowing me better… and as matter of fact no matter who invites or plans the date, as a gentlemen, I will always offer to pay

[@danwarner7816]

That's good even though I like decide dates. My ex did what you were saying months ago and ur right it is good sign they interested Edited: rather than them using yiu as free meal card or free takeout 👍

[@D.M.S.]

Dating advice. Do whatever you want, be yourself, but not an asshole. Most of the time, you're golden with that.

[@BGS22202]

The dinner date demand is a power play. If it succeeds, she knows she has the power to make you spend $100+ just to meet her. It dehumanizes you and it’s a license to dehumanize her in return. You’re a consumer and she’s a product that you have to buy to enjoy. So treat her like a product you bought and don’t think twice about discarding her as soon as a new or improved product becomes available.

[@Pssst.ByTheWay]

All i can say its nice to be the chooser. Its a heck if a workd where you can put up standards and then get to pick and choose I wonder if this is really the reality, or delulu

[@pcall1975]

How refreshing it is when a woman invites you over and makes you dinner! The free ride is over ladies. No dinner, no drinks.

[@kjbphotography2532]

I really appreciate that this list is rooted in reality ... Not one mention of income or height.

[@TSierra]

I agree with her, I personally don’t like dinner dates as the first date but that’s just me. I think it’s too much, I’d rather go for something small like the arcade or ice cream, something like that.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Me too! I was always too nervous to even eat anything LOL