Coworker Excluded Just Me From His Wedding And His Life Became A Crapshow...

Coworker Excluded Just Me From His Wedding And His Life Became A Crapshow...
#reddit #redditupdate #redditrelationship

[@ziolan8970]

What bugs me is the fact that Pam excluded what sounds like most of bob’s friends, but was cool letting the women in the group harass the few single guys there were

[@warjdani]

I think it was just me but I think Pam has a crush on OP because why in the hell would she give a damn if he's going out with Beth.

[@alexablaze5425]

@@warjdaniin later part bob told that pam actually had crush on OP

[@Yellowbeing08]

​@@alexablaze5425he actually said that it looks like it, not that it is

[@BraveryWing26]

@@warjdani She DEFINITELY does.

[@Sanderford]

Don't you know? It's only bad when it happens to women, not because of women. That's okay.

[@telanana]

Man, you know what would've been a more reasonable solution to "I'm worried the single guys will get drunk and harass women"? No alcohol at the wedding instead of excluding a massive chunk of their friend groups. Like, sure, it's a bit of a bummer going to a big party like a wedding reception and not being allowed to drink, but it's so much easier to lie and say you just want a sober wedding than imply all your friends are rapists :/

[@betsyb]

LITERALLY! if you don’t want guys getting drunk and harassing women (a reasonable worry if you’ve been in a situation like that before), then just don’t have alcohol at the wedding! or limit everyone to a certain number of drinks! there were so many other solutions she could’ve come up with that didn’t exclude anyone or make them feel like potential sexual predators

[@newturtle3]

Yeah Pam screams narssacist and jealousy. P sure she obviously likes op but hates her sister much more. So she probably wanted no single guys to not have her sister be the life of the party if not all eyes were on her.

[@dawidlol1337]

How about don't be friends with pieces of shit

[@matthewbarabas3052]

people might sneak in alcohol?

[@Gabbz737NEW]

​@@newturtle3 right? Like after the wedding she's mad that her sis is dating op! They're both consenting adults. Wtf does it matter who her sis dates? Can't she be happy for her sis to be with someone that makes her happy? No. She can choose who is and isn't at her wedding, but she can't dictate who can or can't date. I don't think Pam & Bob's marriage is gonna last.....

[@FigliadiSephiroth]

So when Beth says "if you think you're leaving, you must be out of your fucking mind" it's romantic, but when I say it, people call the police.

[@reignellwalker9755]

woah woah woah

[@Fad1ngRainbow]

I suppose it does have different meanings depending on the context🤔

[@Blurgamer17]

Bruh 💀

[@agentpaper8130]

Don't pull out the duct tape or zip ties when you say that. No cops called. Wait till afterward

[@frederikpedersen1820]

woah woah woah mr. its just not romantic when they are underage

[@xxSweetySaraxx]

I love how throughout all of this OP is like “and after all these weeks I’m still yet to receive any god damn Apple Cider Donuts” 🤣 i think that’s what he truly only cares about 🤭 Also it seems like Pam wants OP, her reactions towards OP is creepy and weird. I wouldn’t be surprised if she confesses her love to him down the road 😬

[@thatonecooktone]

Apply cider donuts do sounds amazing and id be upset about it too lmfao

[@NiggazHomie]

I mean Bob told him that he will get those donuts hence his obsession with them.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

Apparently they have an open marriage... which was my initial impression before that fact that was revealed

[@gamershadow8]

​@@nationalsocialism3504thats what i felt like that was where it was headed

[@barefootcoolboy_3264]

''I love all this tea but I could really use some goddamn apple cider donuts'' Real thought I had while listening to the story.

[@scpfoundation8376]

Good lord, Pam done fxcked up both hers and Bobs friendships. If someone told me I wasn’t invited because I’m a man so I might be a sexual deviant, I’d cut contact too.

[@hamzanasser5171]

But they literally explained that there was a commotion from a previous wedding from single men, so I was smart to avoid it at all costs, it’s their wedding they can do that if they want

[@gamingplayz10]

​​​​​​​@@hamzanasser5171 Yeah, but her argument of not inviting sexual harasser falls apart quickly, when it apparently doesn't extent to woman. She literally was describing her sister as a slut with no impulse control and she was practically keeping OP safe by not inviting him to the wedding, because he was "her sisters type". She literally described a potential rapist and sexual harasser, but she still invited her sister. Isn't that a bit too ironic? Or is she impling that men can't be sexual abused too? And because she is impling that. It means that she has seen her sister do that, but apoarently when men is being sexually abused the wife isn't traumatised enough to not invite her. (I also know that it turns out that her sister wasn't a sexual harasser. She was just excluding him because she was jealous of her sister. But my point still stands. Her argument is still trash).

[@stabegabe]

@@hamzanasser5171 At a certain point don't you think it becomes sexist? It's made worse when you realize her husband didn't even agree, and it's his wedding too. To say that solely because a single dude is present he's a threat lol, an extreme parallel of that would be saying that black people aren't allowed to go to a venue because the host claims "they had a bad experience with black people before, I don't want them here" bit racist isn't it?? Oh but it's their party so it's justified and they can discriminate as they please? How is this any different. Yea you can invite who you want to a party, but if your basis for that is their inherent, unchangeable qualities such as gender or race, and not because you just don't like them as a person, it becomes discriminatory

[@Gojiradogzillagodzilla]

@@hamzanasser5171 Yea they can do what they want, and they also face the consequences of their stupid decisions. They literally said "I'm not inviting my >>>FRIENDS

[@ShiftyMcGoggles]

@@Gojiradogzillagodzilla As a wise dude once told me: Fuck about and find out. Pam fucked about, and she found out. Just a shame she dragged her husband into the finding out part with her.

[@herticate8579]

I hope Pam learned that generalizing men is stupid, Who wouldn't be offended that your friend excluded you because you might be "potential rapist", that's just over the top, they could just have hired security. her trust in men is insulting at least and idiotic at best.

[@Stefan-10]

I dont think its really about "potential r*pists" but more about single drunk guys doing stupid stuff to attract the single ladies. Imo her reasoning is not bad, but her communication sucks. I dont really see a difference in a child free wedding or a single free wedding (should've excluded the single woman aswell btw)

[@Only1199]

@@Stefan-10then don’t have alcohol at the wedding if you’re that scared that people are going to act like twats when drunk. If you’re that scared guys are going to get drunk and ruin it, make it one of those alcohol free weddings people have.

[@hanmitch457]

@@Stefan-10I mean if it were random people that you’re not close with then that’s fine but these are your friends …. I mean what do you expect ? No matter the communication skills it’s always gonna come off as I don’t trust you around my single friends because I think you might be a predator ….. she basically committed Social suicide and we have to realize that ir was NOT worth straining her marriage over it …..

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

@@Stefan-10But the women at the wedding acted like she accused the men of? She deserves exactly what she got because she did treat all her and his friends like predators

[@TAC9_]

bro do u know how much security costs? but yes i agree

[@robinronin]

Pam is such a fantastic person for treating both OP and her own sister like they’re sexual predators. She also does NOT care about the women around her, she can’t even talk about her sister in a normal respectful manner to OP, who she barely knows. Imagine going up to your husband’s coworker and saying “you’re my sister’s type and she’s a sl-t”?? Super inappropriate behavior.

[@nicoleb-r3033]

And so hypocritical! Pam is very much into the same things as Beth! So, what makes her such a saint?!

[@Akitoscorpio1]

I respect this man's dedication to getting some "GOD DAMN APPLE CIDER DONUTS!"

[@clarkclarke]

I wouldn't have eaten them ...

[@juanvelasquez1167]

I don’t know, the donuts sound good. I would ask for coffee to go along with the donuts😊

[@shawnycoffman]

Same! That cracked me up and I'm so glad the man got himself some apple cider donuts. 😆

[@LadyBern]

I've heard this story many times before but I'm just now realizing it was never about single guys ruining the wedding by hitting on her single girl friends. It was about her not wanting others to hook up.

[@m96216]

I think it was about not wanting her sister to hook up with anybody because she is jealous of her

[@shawnycoffman]

I think she just didn't want Beth to hook up with anyone.

[@shreyanshsingh-cu7xj]

Man got his priority first , THOSE GOD DAMM APPLE AND DONUT must taste noice , i want some too

[@flyingfish64]

He's right. Apple Cider donuts are top tier delicious

[@brendadickson9583]

I want them too 😂😂

[@lechatrelou6393]

Yeah, makes me want to try them NOW

[@melverys]

I honestly feel bad for Bob. When you’re getting married and especially throughout marriage, you should never try to “keep the peace”.

[@Katriella.]

Yeah, as soon as even the partial truth was revealed, less than halfway through, I just thought "No way this marriage lasts"

[@SusieBlup]

It depends. Both parties have to make concessions here and there, otherwise you're stuck in your position and the relationship doesn't last

[@melverys]

@@SusieBlup of course you have to compromise but you can’t lose yourself in the process and should instead recognize when something is unreasonable

[@WilliamBrowning]

Pam is a control freak and enjoys power. Bob is going to be miserable.

[@terylsmile3642]

Bruh if the marriage is already this rocky no way can they survive an open marriage.Especially with only Pam making the decisions and Bob having to "GIVE IN"

[@videomangosyt3914]

he is not the AITA , Infact it's bob's fault for lying about him being sick , if you're scared to tell people you didn't invite him why even bother telling them lies like he is sick and blah blah.

[@nigelis2345]

At least from the later updates, Bob made it up to him by giving a good word to Pam's hotter sister.

[@dickdaring365]

Because he didnt want to make his wife sound like a psycho on their wedding day by saying “Pam says no single guys are allowed”

[@rolin8076]

Just a nitpick but you’re supposed to say NTA or not the a**hole. AITA already means « Am I the a**hole »

[@iwritesmut59]

I’d say he’s is wrong for lying but that doesn’t make him an a hole. But the wife is

[@Blurgamer17]

Bob was being led by the balls from Pam. She's the A. Bob came through in the end and gave OP an even better gift than a wedding invite: He became OP's wingman.

[@MetallicBlaize]

To all of you blaming Bob. BOB IS THE VICTIM IN THIS STORY OP got slighted, but more than made out in the end. Poor Bob is the one who needs sympathy.

[@juggernot92]

Haven't even had their first anniversary, and he's already in a bar drinking away his sorrow over his wife's BS. Poor Bob

[@overlord-6644]

She didn’t even wait till they were married to ruin his life

[@TiberianFiend]

Bob's not a victim. He chose that ball-and-chain.

[@ThePopo543]

Poor Bob needs a divorce asap.

[@timewarpdrive77]

Nobody here is a victim; its a dumb situation blown up by stupid people

[@BonnerDoesYouTube]

Pam is SUUUPER jealous that OP got with Beth. Seems like Bob and OP are gonna be bros while OP's dating Pam's sister and Pam's gonna be stuck coping.

[@Blurgamer17]

Cat-lady time!

[@stormysurge9083]

"So get this, your sister said you were a raging sl4t"

[@ThePopo543]

I personally think Bob should just divorce her. She's a jealous narcissistic b, and Bob is in for a rough life if he doesn't get the f outta there soon.

[@thatoneguywalking]

Yes she is. She is attracted to OP.

[@rave-ein]

I am extremely shocked at the fact that she is being extremely obvious about it, like TF? You ARE married! Wtf you going to do with him as a friend? He is clearly a good person who wouldn't sleep with his friend/co workers wife...LOL I truly feel bad for Bob.. poor guy he just keeps getting the BS side effects of Pam's delusional antics, do you think she's already picked out her and OPs imaginary children's names?

[@kancelas]

Pam was throwing red flags all over the place by not inviting single guys instead of hiring security

[@nicksuazo4377]

Or NOT serve alcohol

[@timewarpdrive77]

Thats not really a red flag

[@066kshitizvsingh4]

​@@timewarpdrive77That's a complete red flag, Especially given that most single guys were going to be Bobs friends. it was more than likely a way to exclude Bobs friends+her maybe actually having a crush on OP

[@sparkeyjames]

@@066kshitizvsingh4 This is not an unusual situation. Post wedding many new wives ban their new hubbies friends. It happened to me and another guy we had as mutual friends. We both got kicked from his life because his wife threatened to cut him off if he didn't. Funny part was that mutual friend was one of the groomsmen (though not the best man. The best man was the grooms brother). The other friend was as pissed about it as I was. I also was at the wedding and reception as a guest.

[@jerric1228]

This story isn’t over, considering they will still be connected to Pam if things work out between them. I wonder if that joke about her having a crush on OP wasn’t a “true things often said in jest” situation, and she was keeping them apart because she didn’t want to see the sister she is jealous of together with a guy she’s attracted to.

[@jessf.9759]

Exactly what I was thinking when her husband made the comment 😮

[@raven2785]

Oh, I think it's more than a crush. And that's why Pam didn't want her sister to know the OP, potential cheater that one, on top of being an inflexible moron who lost all of their friends because of it. The husband better get an annulment while he still can cause this woman will make divorce a nightmare.

[@yozarahirvi4750]

this story is a year old and haven't recieved any update yet

[@reignellwalker9755]

Jesus loves you so much that is why he died on the cross for our sins and he rose from the dead 3 days later. By putting your faith in him as lord and saviour you will be saved God Bless you all

[@shadowthedarkshadow6960]

​@@reignellwalker9755nothing said here was religious? So why are you basically trying to shove religion down our throats on KZbin of all places?

[@andrewnguyen4801]

Doesn't invite single male friends under lies but really under the pretense that they're sexual predators or barbarians when drunk. Male friends get offended. And she is frustrated why people cant be "understanding"...

[@Arkryal]

So the bride's sister (OP's now girlfriend) Beth, got Bob (Groom) and Pam (Bride) into a "non-monogamous lifestyle"? OP focused on the BDSM, but the non-monogamous part is what stood out to me... 16:32 And now Pam, who thinks OP is the "coolest guy ever" is upset that he's dating her sister, after she went to great lengths to keep them apart. That didn't slip my notice. I suspect more drama is coming down the road, lol. Sounds like the new bride has some ulterior motives toward OP. I'm glad I don't have all that nonsense in my life. But even still, I was moved by this story. In the end, OP ended up with his coworker's "slutty" Sister-in-law, AND two dozen doughnuts. That's the most beautiful ending to a story I've ever heard. I'm getting a little misty-eyed just thinking about it. 😊

[@bigbleeg]

Op seems a little slow

[@farel0888]

​@anigerianninja4577 it depends really. Op can opened up the relationship and experience the Ethically "Promiscuous". Or he can closed it in which its up to Beth to be Faithful. It is uncertain as if right now, how they would proceed it. However one thing that we can see is that Pam and Beth may got in conflict in the near future. Pam really wants OP in her own hands while also depraving her sister of her own man. If she keeps this up then she eventually would want to separate OP from Beth, by anymeans necessary. Its a good thing that OP filled his case to HR, just in case.

[@shizukagozen777]

​@anigerianninja4577 Right ?? What's fantastic about dating that woman ? I'm so disgusted. Ugh.

[@ShiftyMcGoggles]

@anigerianninja4577 Is it wrong for a lady to just, enjoy fucking? Gods forbid the womenfolk gain any sort of pleasure from fornication! I'm picking up that she's just a kinky gal who likes sex, and she's slept around because she's not been asked out.

[@kermeinchara4328]

​@anigerianninja4577It's all based on what each of them are into and how they handle the differences

[@LOLKING-gi9wl]

Everyone is trying to be philosophical and shit about feminism and what not, I'm just happy OP got them DAMN APPLE CIDER DOUGHNUTS!!! Bob is the man for introducing those two and I hope it's flying colors from here on out.

[@cexilady3333]

OP is NTA. Bob is a small AH for allowing Pam what she did. Pam is the biggest AH, especially bc she obviously has a crush on OP. She’d emotional cheat with OP given the opportunity and that’s why she “wanted to be friends”

[@Cinabonz]

How long do you think it will be till she tries to break them up?

[@cexilady3333]

@@Cinabonz hmm, good question. It depends on if OP or Beth let her talk to either of them at all.

[@TamimPlays]

The only way Pam's argument would've even come a LIGHT YEAR close to reasonable was if she excluded single women as well. At least then her excuse isn't lying at infinity.

[@TamimPlays]

Sorry for the math talk, i just wanted to emphasize how stupid all of that is.

[@mnomadvfx]

Ye as if 'attached' men or women are incapable of doing stupid things when drunk, including hitting on other people.

[@PatrickCervantez]

Out of all the chaos of this story the one thing I'm wondering is how good are those freaking doughnuts? Dude turned into Cid Highwind over them. Now I'm hankering for some goddamn apple cider doughnuts and goddamn tea.

[@_cup_of_tea]

Trust me, they are so delicious 😂

[@Zerox5861]

As a new englander, denying someone apple cider donuts is an insult.

[@Blurgamer17]

Tea? 🇬🇧

[@ORGANPARTY]

I know I’m gonna look up how to make some now

[@alexdvf7300]

​@Zerox5861 honestly looking to see if there's a recipe cuz they sound fire. Especially since my man was craving them throughout the whole story.

[@mara3874]

Pam's self-sabotage skills are so damn good I cant help but be astounded AND entertained.

[@zerofate9669]

Seen and read this whole story already. Bob wife should have just added security and be done with it. Instead she chose the nuclear option which basically got not only her friends and coworkers hating her but also hating bob as well. Bob has every right to feel resentment for what his wife done and put him in, but she said so herself, 'I'll take the heat for it.' Guess she didnt expect this much heat that his own boys just said fk you, now she's grasping for friends to make, its pretty sad but hey, actions have consequences. And also pam seem to be a jealous type to her sister from the way bob tells op she describes her. Nothing wrong with liking sex, its normal. But I feel as tho shes jealous her sister may be more successful and have many eyes on her without trying while pam has too. Or could be the golden child thing again with parents. At the end of this, its Pam's fault, bob as well and they might as well try to make whatever of their marriage work, cuz it sounds like annualment is right around the corner.

[@raven2785]

I think it's less jealousy and more that Pam wants some hot d***ings from the OP. literally no other reason why she would be so focused on the OP when they barely even know each other from a work function. Crushes don't work like that, she's in lust.

[@f687sNFM]

she also wanted op as a second husband given how she wanted op to avoid talking to any woman she thought rivaled her

[@Catherine.Dorian.]

Oh yeah I felt that Pam was shaming her sister to OP and definitely jealous that they got together, seemed like she tried to make sure they wouldn’t. It does seem that she has a crush on OP, maybe he’s more physically her type? But man is she crazy

[@zerofate9669]

@f687sNFM i wouldn't be surprised if she came onto him intimately.

[@gfg758]

The sad thing is they could have just said no Alcohol at the wedding avoided all of this shit

[@7819thomas]

Bob needs an annulment asap, this reads like Pam has more than just a crush on op and this will drag Bob and her marriage down as she compares themselves to Beth an op

[@a_noelle8595]

Agree

[@tallyp.7643]

"Why wasn't I invited?" "I wanted my girl friends to feel safe, so no single guys." "So you think I'm a creep who'd hurt your friends?" "NOOOO! I like you and think you're a good person." "So why wasn't I invited?" "I wanted my girlfriends to feel safe...." Yeah, she freaking buried herself with this circular reasoning. She's mad that others can't understand her viewpoint, but SHE can't even explain it properly in a way that doesn't make her sound terrible. And Bob's guy friends doing the "F-You Fishing Trip" and donating money to women's shelters instead of giving them wedding presents? Freaking BRILLIANT!!! I'd like to make friends with those guys myself.

[@kanteannightmare]

Pam is gonna be a nightmare. That level of controlling is a massive red flag.

[@Blurgamer17]

At this point, wanting an extravagant wedding is a red flag. You don't get that appetite from being treated poorly, you get it from being spoiled....

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

Not to mention that Pam is possibly gonna cheat on Bob

[@Katriella.]

Right? "I want a big wedding but also 2ant to exclude a huge chunk of both our friend groups" Bob needs to get outta there, or maybe even leave her for Beth lol Since she was their introduction to poly Just hope Beth doesn't turn out to be just as crazy, if not more since she has smarts to go with it

[@Levithos]

So she got traumatized because her friend had trash friends at her wedding? Yeah. The wedding went off without a hitch, but their marriage won't. I'm glad OP got his apple cider donuts, finally.

[@juanhaines7295]

I heard this whole saga. Glad op got a girlfriend out of it. Also it's only a matter of time until bob and his wife divorce.

[@dontworryaboutme6410]

Facts its a ticking time bomb 💣

[@Blurgamer17]

Hope Bob and OP can stay friends though. Bob was properly sorry and more than made up for his blunder by being a wingman.

[@-insertarnombredeusuarioge7340]

And donuts, dont forget the donuts

[@droganovic6879]

Pam really screwed Bob over, didn't she "I'lL tAkE tHe HeAt FoR iT" but nowhere to be found Bob gets cornered and lies, presumably to dodge _the convo he shouldn't even be having,_ then everything implodes Also, Beth got her sister and Bob in on her lifestyle of non-monogamy? So they're swingers then. And Pam might have a crush on OP Riiiiight This is all circling back to one overarching sentiment. Poor Bob 😅

[@michaelpothier]

Plot twist: This is a covert advertisement for GODDAMN APPLE CIDER DONUTS

[@karheipa6290]

that would be absolute comedic gold

[@rickamsler3088]

so... here is the thing. it is your wedding and you have the right to have whomever you want there. That said you do need to be honest to people as to why they are not invited. because if the story is different for different people (he is sick / he is single) then you are going to have problems. My own FIL disinvited himself after my wife and I decided to not allow his wife (stepmom) at the wedding because she had basically kicked my wife out at 18-19, and never once has endeared herself to any of my wife's family. We also had a venue that had a max capacity of 120 people and let people know to rsvp if they were going to be able to make the wedding and that 120 was a cut-off count. (we didn't end up having that many at our wedding since my family is spread out everywhere. so lots of cards.) I think the real issue here is the dishonesty. if bob had just been upfront about why people werent invited then it could have been a much easier thing to blow over. a trauma is a trauma, but don't create more trauma by lying about yours.

[@BoutrosSP]

So is anyone else picking up on the fact that Pam and Bob are in an open relationship becuase the sister in law got them into ethnical-nonmanagqmy, and that Pam wanted to keep the sister away from op so that she could have a chance at him? Is it just me who thinks this?😅

[@MikeB-us5cg]

Yeah, it's obvious by this point. Pam was hoping to rope him into some degeneracy like an open marriage, and the OP dating her sister seriously has destroyed that pipe dream. I wouldn't be surprised if, since the last update, Bob has divorced or annulled things with her.

[@NXTangl]

I mean, she could have shot her shot with OP anyway, if Beth isn't into the monogamy thing, but my guess is that she doesn't want to share partners with her sister because of her inferiority complex. Or just spite.

[@_cup_of_tea]

I can’t wait for the really Big FU to Pam when OP and Beth get married AND they don’t have that stupid no single guys restriction 😂😂😂

[@f687sNFM]

i remember this one, pam was confirmed a misandrist and wanted op to herself, which is why she excluded him, since she knew her sister would date op (and they are) and pam is still mad about it.

[@AleV69692]

Please link?

[@ItsMeCola]

Link please!

[@PrismCasillica]

The fact that Pam keeps begging to meet up with him in person makes me think shes trying to set up a trap.

[@yukiandkanamekuran]

a security guard would have been 10x better than no single guys. besides, you can't protect everyone.

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

Who would have guessed friends and family would take offense to being called xual predators? There's zero way this wouldn't have blown up

[@Felwinter999]

Honestly it's hard to understand Pam's point of view when she can't even trust her friends to control themselves on her big day unbelievable.

[@user-wj5cx2zp7v]

"Pam seems pretty upset at me and Beth being together..." Pam needs to hold her tongue and mind her business, she's done enough already.

[@jen6893]

I don't understand what she's upset about, unless she really does have a crush on op

[@Atitkos]

@@jen6893 Half the audience suspects that the crush is real so, it has at least a little bit truth to it.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

​@@Atitkosthey have an open relationship that her sister Beth got them into... everyone just seems to breeze right past that fact. Pam wanting to fuck OP was obvious but since both sisters believe in fucking other dudes then there's no reason why Pam can't fuck OP anyways

[@nkdotexe]

Getting into an amazing relationship seems a pretty good compensation for being excluded from a wedding and accused of being a creep…

[@PsychoMachado]

WTF is Pam mad about? "I knew this would happen" so what? OP can't date? She wants OP on the side? She could have used this as means to actually becoming friends with OP, since now he's dating her sister, but no! Her reaction is to be mad her sister is with someone she considers amazing. I pity Bob.

[@tjafloyd]

How did Pam think it was going to go well after accusing all of her single male friends of being predators

[@Dinkle_Berry]

yo this the bride sounds weird as hell why does she care so much if her sister gets in a happy relationship...

[@newturtle3]

Imma say Pam hates Beth alot. It explains the no single guys policy but inviting family single guys. Pam sounds very jealous and narssacistic. She used the drunk guys crapfest as an excuse. She then casually mentioned "oh btw my sister is very promiscuous and i dont want her grinding on you". Like okay but who cares if she does? Then how Pam blew up when Bob said he introduced Beth to the OP via her instagram. So yeah Bob was on the money being sus about his entire marriage. And alsp the co workers and both bob and pam's friends. Especially the one dude who was quoted. Well whatever op is winning and Pam will probably become insufferable if she continues like this. Only dude who will suffer is Bob.

[@DivingDog0]

Why are these people so bad at keeping secrets? "So we tell people there's not enough room at the venue, and that's why we're excluding them." "Yeah okay. That's fool-proof." "Repeat it back to me." "The person you're asking about is ill. Don't check with them." "I'll introduce you to the sister." "Won't your wife be mad?" "Yeah. This is kind of a big middle finger specifically to her. But there's literally no way she can find out if no one tells her it was me." "Okay." "Sure hope the sister doesn't do that."

[@conscripthornet4430]

For the second one, Bob probably knew that pam would find out eventually but he just didn't care like he stated in the post, he just wanted a "fuck you" moment to pam.

[@RalphelValentine]

​@conscripthornet4430 I really don't blame him, it was her sixist and jealousy butt that cost him all that drama. She's not a good friend or sister. She knows that op is her sister type but instead of hooking her sister up, she decides not to invite op for being a single man and this still could of been prevented, if they would of introduced the sis and op before the wedding and potentially have them come as a couple.

[@EmeraldRoseDragon]

​@RalphelValentine but she didn't want them meeting at all. She specifically didn't want her sister around OP because he was her sister's type and she definitely has a crush on him

[@mindassassin]

She agreed to explain it and take the heat as part of the deal, but then immediately failed to do so. That marriage started with a lie, and one with life-altering repercussions at that. That shit is not about to last.

[@juanvelasquez1167]

Woof! Woof!😊

[@Memeguy370]

"Honey? Where is my sup-APPLE CIDER DONUTS"

[@75SuperMario]

I thought I read a similar story to this; where the true reason why she didn't invite single men was because the bride was a 'frenemy' to all of her bridesmaids and wanted to rub it in their faces about her special day. Apparently the chances of hooking up after a wedding are high and she wanted to keep that stat down.

[@LattePunch]

Judging the majority of a group because of the actions of a few rarely ever pans out good for anyone. A couple random single guys acted like dogs at one wedding so all single guys will behave that way at weddings. Great logic there pam.

[@zachwatkins4201]

I really do feel for bob, dude made a couple mistakes but his wife BOMBED his relationships

[@CoffeeBeanWitch]

Please for the love of apples can someone please send OP his long awaited apple cider donuts😂😂😂 But this just reminds me to keep work colleagues as professional level and nothing deeper than that because it gets complicated. Plus Pam needs to reign it in about accussing innocent men of being predatory, i find that disgusting. Bob needs to wake up and smell the red flags 🚩 🚩 🚩

[@nomoney-ov7ro]

What an adorable ending man I was grinning so hard when he kept gushing about Beth 😂

[@peeonthe3rdrail414]

It only happened because he's tall.

[@nomoney-ov7ro]

@@peeonthe3rdrail414 lmfao 😭😭

[@peeonthe3rdrail414]

@@nomoney-ov7ro If you're not a short guy, you could never understand and I don't expect you to.

[@nomoney-ov7ro]

@@peeonthe3rdrail414 I'm a girl 💀 I really don't understand at a personal level but I can sure guess.

[@peeonthe3rdrail414]

@@nomoney-ov7ro Exactly.

[@foxu7380]

I SERIOUSLY don't get women like Pam. First, yes, I understand the fact that she was traumatized by an incident that ruined what was supposed to be a happy occasion, and that can leave a scar on a person. HOWEVER, literally assuming just the single MEN, JUST the men, would be sexually harassing the women at the venue? And that's not even mentioning the fact that they were her FRIENDS, people that she SHOULD know and TRUST. But she invites the single WOMEN instead, that ironically wished he single men were there. Do you not know your friends that well or something? Or did you just assume that all single men are rapists? Even if it meant that those men were your friends? Why would you stay friends with them if that's how you truly felt about them? So fucking shitty I swear. While granted, most of the time weddings are supposed to be about the bride(s) and the groom(s) respectively, however its mainly about people getting together, whether they're family or complete strangers to each other, it becomes a happy occasion when you see others becoming close because of you and your significant other. Wouldn't you have been happy about that? Which brings me to my second point: OP. WHY is Pam even UPSET that her now husband's co-worker is dating her sister??? I'm starting to think that the "joke" Bob made about her having a crush on OP is suspiciously true. The way she blatantly talked shit about her sister and calling her a slut was not only way out of line but I think was also her way of sabotaging something that she knew was a potential relationship, something that would make her sister happy for once and she, of course, like a typical petty female, would've hated the fact that her sister, just because of her life style, would be happy. And it somehow would have "ruined" her chances of trying to get to OP. Not all, but most women can be evil like this, whether it was because they were genuinely hurt and hate seeing other people they despise being happy because they can't or refuse to have the happiness they deserve, or its because they don't get enough attention and start shit where its truly unnecessary but they like relishing in the fact that they get the person/people involved where it hurts. A lot of women will deny this, but its a stone cold fact. A lot of them have been capable of ruining other's lives for stupid, petty shit similar to this, especially a man's. And they know they can get away with it, and its so damn sickening. sorry for the rant, this set me off so bad. It was so unfair to OP, Bob, and all of Bob's friends. Pam wasn't the one making sacrifices. It was your now husband. How tf do you move on from something like this fr? But the silver lining here was that at least OP got his apple cider doughnuts finally just by doing the exact thing that was Pam's apparent worst nightmare. Honestly, justice was served deliciously.

[@MikeB-us5cg]

Just view it through this lens, and her behaviour will make sense: She's a misandrist and an entitled modern woman.

[@UpsideDown853]

Yeah, you don’t need to apologize for the rant. Rather, I am sorry for you that you are like this. I have no idea where your deep insight into how “most women can be that evil” came from which just makes this feel like you are not handling your interpersonal relationships very maturely. Have a good day, seems like you need it.

[@MikeB-us5cg]

@@UpsideDown853 I've noticed that, on this video and others like it, it always seems to be women (going by usernames) that try to defend this sort of behaviour or attack or belittle male posters for pointing out a woman's bad behaviour that'd have men raked over coals if the genders were reversed; very rarely is it (apparently) men doing the defending. Guess the old stereotypes of women flocking together despite knowing they're in the wrong isn't a stereotype. shrug

[@UpsideDown853]

@@MikeB-us5cg ah, yes. You “noticing” things has me all convinced. I guess I can feel your rantional logic from here. Uwu.

[@williamb.8762]

Wait until Beth asks to add another guy to the relationship. "Ethical non-monogamy"

[@ChakkyCharizard]

Yeah that's what I was thinking. If Beth is poly, he better be prepared to also be poly😂

[@samaritan_sys]

These people make me sick… if you can’t be exclusive with your partner, it literally means you don’t love them. End of story. Real, romantic love takes 100% of a person’s focus in that department… if that focus wavers, it’s because it’s not real love, and it’s sick that they pretend that’s not the case. Just cope for people who want to have their cake and eat it too.

[@ThePopo543]

Yes Bob has the right to invite and uninvite whoever he wants, but as soon as he lied and said "op was sick so he couldn't make it" he lost all rights to keep it a secret. Edit: nvm I just finished the video. Bob's innocent, Pam's a jealous judgemental b who ruined her own marriage and friendships with her fail reasoning. If you're reading this Pam, you svck, you did this to yourself, and you got all that you deserve.

[@Im_Just_Here248]

I understand concerns but 1. Girls where hitting up on the handful of single men at the party showing that maybe you should invite people you trust and not stuff based on gender. 2. It’s true. If you can’t trust your guys friends why’s re you even friends? Like wtf

[@Zellonous]

Saying "PoC" unironically is a redflag for me. "ethical non-monogamy" is a fancy way of saying cheating with consent. Why would you want to date someone like that? Even if you set boundaries they're just gonna cheat on those too.

[@samaritan_sys]

Ikr? It’s just cope for people delusional or emotionally immature enough to think that it’s even possible to romantically love more than one person at a time. Healthy humans minds don’t work like that… if you aren’t 100% loyal, it ain’t love, it’s a fuckbuddy.

[@DiscoGhost2009]

Bob's wife is super manipulative. Excuses for everything.

[@skollseye7068]

If you can't invite me to a public event, how are we supposed to be friends exactly? God forbid you invite me over for dinner. And while I understand some level of reticence over the behavior of men in this world, the assumption that it's only single men is laughable.

[@Zantetsu13]

Given that the sister is an "ethical non-monogamist" I'm guessing the story is going to repeat itself one way or another.

[@KenW418]

That's what I thought too. Isn't she just going to want an open relationship? I mean, if he's cool with that whatever, but it makes the "be my gf" thing pretty dumb. Either way, he should definitely make sure he gets Bob a beer for that one.

[@juggernot92]

Bob also said the sister got them into some of that stuff. I know he focused on the BDSM but was the wife angling for an open marriage with OP as her side dude?

[@EmeraldRoseDragon]

​@@juggernot92definitely and was mad that her sister got with him

[@missingone9185]

Look I get it, safety is important. Generalizing is bad, but security is just too important to risk. What I don't understand is WHY THEY DIDN'T GIVE THE MAN SOME CAKE AND HIS DONUT?!?!

[@laroybell3313]

Getting with the sister was the best apology he got from them LOL

[@smorphous8928]

Honestly, accusing their friends with such ludicrous accusations and saying that’s why they’re not invited to a wedding is so ridiculous.

[@NekoKuro-il8rz]

I think Pam didn't want OP to go to the wedding because she didn't want OP to meet her sister. Her sister got Pam and her husband into a lot of BDSM stuff, including non-monogamy, and Pam really liked OP. I think she wanted to include OP in their relationship because she liked him and is mad she lost the chance because now he's with her sister.

[@serenitysfirefly]

Now I feel inspired to take my partner out to get apple cider donuts The issue is that they're asleep like a normal person and I'm watching Reddit videos at 4:30 am 😂

[@karheipa6290]

bruh.but if you guys did have hope you had a great time

[@serenitysfirefly]

@@karheipa6290 I totally forgot. 🤦🏽‍♀️ Thank you for the reminder!

[@karheipa6290]

@@serenitysfirefly my pleasure,have ag reat time!

[@jrbudoybudoy]

JUST GIVE THIS MAN HIS APPLE CIDER DONUTS! He wouldn't be mad as heck if he got them donuts.

[@BattlefieldNPC]

NTA - whyd bob lie, he coulda straight up been honest he has no reason to lie but here we are bob 😂

[@TheBluePhoenix008]

I have big FOMO but damn if I wasn't invited to a wedding of a guy I barely even know, I'd just go "ok dude just don't call me a creep okay bye"

[@McKennaBates]

All this happened because Pam doesn't want Beth to be happy.

[@Nekosenpai24]

Sounds to me that Pam just wanted OP all too herself and was willing to ruin her sister's rep just to keep him away. 😂Too bad for her, it didn't work out! And now Pam has no choice but to sit and watch her sis enjoy OP's company while stewing in her own jealousy. 😌

[@mikeconnors9287]

I think Pam had a hard crush on OP but was already engaged to Bob when they met. Very jealous that her sister got him instead of keeping him in reserve if Bob/Pam broke up for some reason.

[@asmrsand3972]

That's why you keep work relationship as just work relation and don't expand it to the private part of your life.

[@Chris-wu2hc]

I’d be content if I didn’t get invited to a coworker’s wedding if they are just an acquaintance. I generally find large weddings where every acquaintance is invited to be a boring spectacle that is less about the couple sharing something beautiful with those close to them and more about getting attention from people whose opinions shouldn't matter. But I'm not about to lie or be lied about so you can save face either. Own your decisions and actions and this is a non-issue.

[@LokiToxtrocity]

The issue doesn't lie on them not being invited the issue lies on the Bride's reason to not invite single men, by labelling them as potential creeps, or deviants, then you learn that the single women in the party got drunk and started hitting on the few single men that did get invited which reveals the double standard and her Hipocrisy.

[@retrojordans5]

He’s not the AH but his whole story is why you should NOT be that involved in your coworkers life. Like your project manager is looking at you crazy rn.

[@Chrissy666pyro]

10:16 plot twist she wasn’t speaking about her sister she was speaking about herself. Maybe she was too afraid of getting a little bit too tipsy and trying to go after OP. OP is probably her type same interest in video games he’s tall had a good 15 minute conversation and he wasn’t even trying to hit on her just casual talk and getting to know her.

[@theoryarchon7214]

I’m just glad he finally got those apple cider doughnuts-

[@Vikashar]

Thank god OP finally got his apple cider donuts! He was like the Trix Rabbit

[@JoeCommenter-bl4su]

Bob is in for a rough life. This is how she is at the beginning of the marriage when she is on her best behavior.

[@FrontierGamers]

It's their choice who goes to the wedding and who doesn't. It's their day, not his. However, that doesn't give them the right to lie about why he wasn't there. He's NTA.

[@FlipTheBard]

In the end, the issue was that Bob's wife had the hots for OP and didn't want her sister to have a chance at OP. Talk about being greedy, she got married and was thinking about another man already...

[@grim_reapepper]

"Lesbian party" 💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@HumingBirdOfTheWind]

Mission Accomplished: Getting those god damn donuts.

[@MadMansThoughts]

Crazy to think that treating friends in a sexist way might lose you friends.

[@imhere1303]

I find it really obnoxious when people base their worldview on the bad behaviors they see online.

[@scarletvaldez29]

Out of everything that happened to OP, I'm just really glad he got those donuts 🤣.

[@dogguy8603]

I feel like a reasonable solution was to invite eveyone but make it a dry wedding with no booze

[@DrewHoward-tk1jz]

BRO FINALLY GOT HIS GODDAMN APPLE CIDER DONUTS! YES!! 😆

[@gid-and-friends]

See… if he would’ve went to the wedding, he would’ve met Drunk Beth and she would’ve been terrible, tripping, saying inappropriate things and insulting people, no one would take her serious. Because he didn’t go, he got to meet the real Beth and she’s amazing. That’s how life works.

[@rainynight02]

Not the jerk for answering a question directly aaked of him. Coworker is a jerk for not inviting him. Edit: "I think youre a good person, but I couldn't risk it" is an absolute horrible way of putting it lady. She could have simply said "if we had made an exception for you, then we would have had to make exceptions for others eventually or have other big issues, thus who knows who would have been there and bitter, so it would have beena. Domino type effect." Or something like that. Or, you know, be honest with people to begin with. Or say "it traumatized me, and I know y'all are good people, but there's this fear in me about the situation." And if it was genuinely presented as an irrational fear... maybe people could understand that. If they were presented with it to begin with.

[@_axxika_3715]

Bro pulled the uno reverse card on PAM😂😂 I'm thrilled rn- that is karma in the finest😂😂

[@RahimKhan-ic9qv]

The fact she was hysterically screaming no one was understanding her POV is total narcissistic.Ofc any men would be extremely furious and offended if there were indirectly accused of being a potential sexual predator and rapist.

[@Conqueror25]

10:05 Pam asking OP to give him a chance to clear herself up when she didn't OP a chance to get get to know him better 🐔

[@CassiusSharp]

This is just me having a morbid sense of humor. It would have been funnier, if some of Pam’s single guy friends were gay so they was no way they’d hit on the women but Pam still excluded them. Also I think a lot of people understand why Pam did what she did but how she did it was extremely shitty.

[@Generic_chaos]

Bro he could’ve got free food he IS a doormat for letting people convince him he is a doormat

[@Seajack64]

The bride can't understand the consequences of her misandry because she can't a even acknowledge that she's a misandrist. As if that's not bad enough, she reveals that she's also a misogynist in the way she speaks about her sister. I wonder what other groups she hates? She's also sex-negative but into BDSM... What magnitude of cognitive dissonance does she operate under? It even sounds like she was really keen for OP as her choice for the non-monogamy. She will continue to cause suffering for herself and those around her until she is capable of developing some self-awareness.

[@SS_SUKUNA]

.. so.. did Pam totally forget that women can also be as “bad” as men? Like there are many female r@pists out there and female s3x offenders..

[@LostOnceLefthanded]

Must have been one hell of a wedding since this many people get upset over not being part of it, lol.

[@LokiToxtrocity]

I to would be upset if I found out the reason I wasn't invited to the wedding is because I was single, and that would make me a potential sex offender. Her reasoning was flawed, especially when she let the women hit on the few single guys there, talk about double standards.

[@blclegger]

It is absolutely wild to me that that people in the comments were asking him why he felt entitled to an invite. Like they realize this would be considered by most companies to be workplace bullying

[@evelinoliveira2513]

The groom said to not make a big deal out of it, in my point of view, op didn't made a big deal, just said point blank he wasn't invited and that he wasn't ok with not being invited. And about the bride's reason, it's actually pretty reasonable but like the friend said, if she thinks their male single friends are ab*sers then why is her friends with them in the first place?