CPTSD and Self-Defeating Behaviors: What It's Like When You STOP

[@blissiimo2064]

How have I not found you before? As a clinical psychologist, I am trained to assist others, however, you are speaking to me personally in your lectures. Im listening to them one after the other. Perfect timing to hear all of this. I wish you were in Australia, so I could see you for 1:1 sessions. Thankyou for the work you are delivering.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Gosh, thank you. I do offer one-on-one coaching -- completely on Zoom, and will be accepting new clients in Feb or March. I'm also hoping to lead some events in Australia about a year from now, so who knows? Perhaps we'll have a chance to meet in person!

[@dianadeane9233]

I’m a clinical psychologist in Australia too and feel the same way. I am connecting all my clients with CCF and Pete Walker. And I’d love to have some 1:1 sessions with her too. I’m with you 😊

[@ProudEve1]

Yes plz come to Australia 😍🥰

[@celiastevens4058]

Anna I too would love the opportunity for one to one work. I can't see how to access this Witt you personally on your website. Please let me know how. Your vids are the best thing I've found on trauma and healing x

[@jazzyj819]

I’m slowly coming out of survival mode and starting to live

[@Sinsearach]

This is a great way of interpreting it. Am slowly getting there myself 🤞

[@melanieleonard968]

me too

[@Fefe559]

Omg … SAME

[@ChristineSimard]

Me too!

[@joannesberkshirescenes9414]

Omg I now know why I spent my entire childhood and periodically adulthood fantasising I was rich & famous, whilst still living my life and sometimes achieving. I have achieved a lot in recent years & I don’t fantasise about being someone I’m not anymore

[@jcjc6144]

I watched this while stuffing my face with spaghetti swimming in butter and parmesan but hey at least I no longer have black and white thinking while still checking a couple other boxes off this list.

[@nunyabizness3890]

This made me laugh. Thanks!

[@azsli2]

Im having a pb apple with lite whip cream. Yours sounds good too. Wish i could still eat it.

[@bookmouse2719]

ate peanut butter cookies ....not the best choice.

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

Better than eating your own soul

[@marthahawkinson-michau9611]

Progress? It’s not always going to happen all at once?

[@eddierayvanlynch6133]

Re: Our choices It's been said that we're a reflection of the five people we spend the most time with. Kids can't usually choose them, but with practice, we can. Stay strong. (Thanks again, Anna!)

[@josephinetyree1476]

I feel for my youngest grandchild...never being wanted...being used for the 'income' ... I see me in her... I'm trying NOW to get my self ...mentally ?? at lest physically ( with med issues ) stronger..so that I can somehow ?? help her.

[@joshuataylor6087]

Learning to steer clear of crap jobs or exploitative or abusive bosses.. oh my gosh, damaged and traumatised people attract these jobs like flies

[@jesseleeward2359]

Yes

[@KalicoKat86]

Wow. I’ve only had these kinds of jobs. I can’t do it anymore. I’ve been unemployed too. I want to become self employed in a new field. I’m just trying to build up the nerve to do it. Maybe hearing someone else clarify this issue and connect it to CPTSD will help me heal my mindset and move on.

[@bjewel3751]

How true., (speaking from experience)

[@bbilgers8686]

All kinds of people find themselves in these jobs! People with residual trauma are more affected by these situations and get more entangled with the abusive people or dysfunctional experience. Everyone is fair game for messed up workplace dysfunction. After healing, you become a detached observer instead of one of the players. Sometines, the abusive person in the workplace leaves you alone and sometimes you're the target. Regardless, the abuser doesn't trigger you or get to you anymore. You're able to handle the situation with strength and grace. :)

[@jesseleeward2359]

@@bbilgers8686 haha yeah absolutely temp work. You need a skill in this world. Fuck 8 dollars an hour drama. That's what I used to call it. I guess different social classes have different cardinal sins. Lower class is wrath. They can often not recognize that you attract more flies with honey than with viniger and fail to self actualize as they drown in a game of tit for tat. Middle class is envy, greed. Dedicating all their waking hours to the acquisition of what they think others have in their life. Missing out on the experience. Upper class is sloth, vanity, and lust In that order.

[@launacasey6513]

I also think it's okay to get discouraged, as long as you can recognize it quickly and give yourself a little pep talk and some gentle, supportive words.

[@azsli2]

I always say "its ok to fall down but you have to get back up. Its not ok to stay down anymore"

[@lanishortsunshine5773]

yes, gentle..kind..love

[@bookmouse2719]

my husband casually mentioned how I haven't been out of the house for the last year...

[@lulumoon6942]

💟 I have found that, when possible, being around people who emotionally regulate themselves and had good boundaries, potentiated any other changes I attempted to make! Of course finding these healthy folks, and being wanted back can be hard, but when it happens even in small exchanges the modeling of safe and healthy emotions and behavior by them is like a frequency we become in tune with once experienced. Knowing this now makes choosing to be alone when necessary, instead of unhealthy people and situations much easier, thereby freeing energy for continued healing and changes. ❤️

[@fineandnatural]

I'm becoming more aware of this as well. By the way my daughter's nickname is Lulu!😊

[@lulumoon6942]

@@fineandnatural 😊

[@lulumoon6942]

@@MsRocksa Thanks, only took 50 years to figure out LOL

[@hansfreekit]

this lady is an zen master angel sent from universal heaven to save every goddamn one of us! Huzzah!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's really sweet :)

[@hansfreekit]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy its true! x

[@danielc5205]

Distancing from toxic and/or one-side relationships has helped me a lot. Lastly, I've told myself that 2021 is the time for me to starting dating again. Being in my 40's, finding someone decent to date might be too hard to find. Changing my status from bachelor to married has been on my bucket list for way too long, and I'm not getting any younger.

[@holeesheet2021]

There are some great dating sites out there. Covid might be an issue though.....

[@Applepie910]

So how are you doing one year later? It isn't true that meeting new and decent people is harder in your 40s. It's basically a belief that keeps you from healing and changing your life. :-)

[@jonstersmall2716]

It's over rated mate.

[@jfowlDance]

I resonated with the good feeling of each of these points as recently as the new year. Watched to confirm I wasn’t dreaming, I’m walking in wonder instead of cptsd. Thank you for your help in getting to the door!

[@markpollard3552]

I can second that sentiment! After some years of dismantling and rebuilding, watching this helped me take stock of how far I’ve come. So much wonderful support out there . Anna is my favourite Fairy by far!

[@RobSalamander]

If I said I have to feel safe, and home is such a sanctuary to me, would anyone else identify? Its so odd having how I think and feel described to me. But, what a relief. I knew I had something wrong after a school reunion nearly 19 years ago. It’s been really, really tough getting to this point. X

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're here!

[@joelycruz9154]

I completely identify!

[@rebeccarashid2412]

You have such wisdom and a way of shining light on things one may know, but maybe not deeply understand. Thank you!!

[@chloem.872]

Thank you. I feel like I'm just now starting to get out of these self-defeating behaviors, but I don't want to say too much too soon. It's just a relief to hear something like this and to believe it and not get offended by it. I hope every one of us here knows that if we're healing, we're on a really good path and things will start to get better soon.

[@galacticecho7027]

I'm getting there. Thanks for this list. Sometimes it feels like two steps forward and one step back, but I'm slowly changing. I just wasn't prepared for how painful it can be.

[@azsli2]

Two forward one back is still forward just with more steps.

[@favoriteone8636]

Me neither!

[@dianegordon2702]

I found this totally by a small stroke of luck. It's so refreshing to hear specific behaviors to know if you're on the right track. Feeling hopeful. Thanks for what you do.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was helpful!

[@wordivore]

Sometimes NOT seeing people and their behavior as black or white/all good or all bad can be confusing. It can be difficult to understand at times when you get angry at someone's unacceptable behavior, if it's an actual deal breaker or if it's just something 'human' that should be let go of or can be discussed and resolved. I guess that can depend on future behavior as well, if it's resolved or not. A lot of the unacceptable behavior I've accepted in a relationship I'm presently in is coming to the forefront of my mind more than ever now. I am seeing how my lack of boundaries and lack of understanding of my own values got me into this situation. In addition, I'm seeing the parallel of this relationship to the relationships within my FOO.

[@sojournerkarunatruth4406]

I’ve eliminated UberEats, started fasting for brain and body detox, ditched the emotionally unavailable guy and I’m continuing to better myself 1% every day #loveyourselffirst

[@good4gaby]

great name!

[@AADM.1]

Same here!

[@Applauseify]

I have been spending 95% time in fantasy since my childhood..I take so many mental vacations. I avoid applying for jobs even when my job is getting over. I fantasize about unavailable impossible guy. I struggle with saving money even when I earn limited amount. I feel ashamed about who I m and dream about who I would like to be while not working at it

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We understand that type of checking out completely! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@shytiarafowler]

I love everything about this video as I feel I have finally crossed over to this side - it’s still a process, but I’m feeling so much better & have a different outlook. My life has completely shifted & part of me getting there was watching your videos! THANK YOU! 🙏🏾💝💐

[@maryannslatteryburrows7228]

great to hear! i am a newbie, need a new life asap.

[@alisonsinger6259]

I've been practicing Yoga Nidra for almost a year, and I AM this person! Feeling like there is a light growing within me. Connections are deeper. Releasing and getting back to me. Loving the desire to not have the tv on.

[@riledmouse4677]

In my anecdotal experience, everything she has said is 100% true. This is exactly how it has played out, in my life. Long and painful journey... but totally worth it.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I agree, the journey is worth it! -Cara@Team Fairy

[@wellingtonsboots4074]

I think what holds me back is that I keep trying to find that frightened little boy and the scared man, because I don't have anything else to contrast it with. I do things that i recognise as good and start to feel that i'm making progress but then it's like all the fears surge up and the bad times and feelings win out because that experience is so much stronger than anything else.

[@NotTylerDurden]

All those fears and bad times and feelings -are- your inner frightened little boy. Those experiences are essentially the traumatic experiences your younger self couldn't process and just buried at the time, finally bubbling up to the surface now that you've made room for them. That's you, when you feel that. All you need to do with those feelings is to feel them in the ways that you weren't able to as a child. Process them as best you can, try to understand the actions and motivations of everyone involved, give yourself conscious soothing and reassurance, all good and well, but the most vital thing is to sit with the pain and -feel- it. That's all it's asking you to do. Just to be clear, in no way are you losing progress to these surges. This is what progress looks like. Every time your impossible, too-big feelings surge, you have an opportunity to sit with them, feel and listen, and reduce them slightly (or significantly, I don't know your healing rate). But it isn't a setback, it's 100% part of the process. I'm emphasizing this because I felt like a failure for years because I fought the feelings and got nowhere, and then immediately got somewhere the first time I sat with them. Felt like a right dingus.

[@bbilgers8686]

Things come up in waves as the layers heal. You are Normal. Keep going!!!!

[@indianiecworld]

to me the best indicator of changes is the different quality of people i began to attract

[@marthahawkinson-michau9611]

I want to heal from my past. I want to make 2021 the year I finally unlock my real potential. I’ve been hiding from everyone and everything, including myself for way too many years. I’m done letting the world(and myself) screw me over. I’m taking charge. Alright, so I have a lot physical, mental, and emotional garbage to deal with. One step at a time, but this is my year.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes! I'm really glad you're here.

[@marthahawkinson-michau9611]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thanks!

[@good4gaby]

I relate so much. I admire this brave and beautiful statement! It would make a great mantra. I’m tired, too. Each little step counts. I’m trying to be patient with myself. Sending well wishes your way.

[@sherry8782]

I just love your voice and video. I feel calm just looking at you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So nice of you

[@luminyam6145]

You are just the most amazing woman. You would not believe how much you have helped me. I cannot thank you enough.

[@leventejuhasz3492]

Wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear! I have started my recovery from CPTSD 1-1.5 year ago, and now I really do feel basically all of these poins! It just needed to be articulated. If feels so much better, basically a new life, getting better day by day, month by month! Thank you and kudos for the soon-to-be 100k!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you! Very happy for your healing! (and strangely excited to get that KZbin silver plaque!)

[@azsli2]

Yes! I got rid of a narcissist and i noticed i took more showers and ate less junk and more healthy snacks

[@brianarbenz7206]

Healing happens in spurts. Progress happens, then it slows down or stops. When you hit a point where things get tougher, that doesn't mean you have failed and are going to fall back. It means more progress will be coming.

[@charlisparkles]

I just remembered how much your livestream eased my mind on New Years ... thank you for these videos. Soothing for the soul xxx

[@jimparker7778]

Tech toys can be a problem, but the power and ability to connect electronically with real people we care deeply about (mom) or my daughter, is so rewarding.

[@911preety]

At 58, I only have one thing left, and I notice it leaving more and more; black and white thinking. It isn't nearly as much of a problem for me as it was all my life, but it's still a gradual healing, God is truly shining His light in my life and taking care of me, all the while teaching me how to finally take care of myself!

[@nicbro3831]

I can post this here because it will be safe. My family of origin was incredibly toxic. Im working through my trauma. But I just cannot stand my MIL. She made my bf, so im grateful for that and all the other things they've done for us. But even events that happened between us years ago are as fresh as yesterday. She showed me then that she wasn't a safe person. Every time she has caught a glimpse of the real me she has not been accepting or receptive. So even though she tries really hard to get close to me, it actually makes me dislike her more. Like the nicer she is, the more I remember she can't be trusted and the more annoyed I get. I feel super bad about it, but I can't unlearn what has kept me safe my whole life.... when someone shows me who they are, I believe them. But I cut them out of my heart and there isn't a way back in.

[@josevillanueva9705]

You deserve 10+ million subscribers

[@reconstructingphilosophy]

I suggest reading In Praise of Blame by George Sher. It’s terrible advice to do away with all blame. Pathologizing blame is incompatible with taking ethics seriously. Sometimes it is altogether appropriate to assign blame and work towards justice including at times through pursuing legal remedies. Failing to assign blame when one has indeed been severely and culpably harmed can be a way of failing to accept accountability which at times calls for standing up for oneself and others.

[@JuliannaHolmes]

I guess I’m a major work in progress.

[@barbrathompson9798]

Thank you,,, So many of these I've seen have changed in my life ,,,, yippppppeeeee I had a healing session where I started laughing ,"saying " I am safe" Thank you

[@papi77on]

Thank you!

[@jeaninegordon4980]

You are an earth angel. Thank you. Also, listening to this makes me pat myself on the back for the healing that I have done. It's wonderful when one can go "ooh, that's me" over and over again when it's in response to signs of healing :-)

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@greasybones6802]

Living in the moment and knowing your authentic self will give you more peace.

[@aprilscheller7580]

I just found you & know that it’s the grace of God working in my life & knocking at the door to invite me further out. I so appreciate the plain & practical sometimes painful TRUTH !! Thank you for correction in love.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome

[@Sophouska50]

this channel was recomented to me by thekla petridou , a psychologist from cyprus . i cant thank her enough . it all resonated so much , the content ,the stoy i cant stop watching

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm honored. Please let her know I appreciate her faith in these videos.

[@lilahermosa5971]

Hi Miss Anna! Watching from Philippines, and now I am a fan. Been watching to your YT videos and sometimes I listen to your podcasts guesting. Today I have decided to get a journal and jot down important notes from your videos. I know healing should start within me, and I couldn’t thank you enough for these advices. I am ashamed to accept the fact that I grew up with CPTSD as a child and I keep denying it to myself but after watching your introduction videos, I know in myself I have a childhood PTSD. My mom is a super strict mother who disciplines us with corporal punishments while growing up. I didn’t know that her way of discipline involves physical abuse and are masked as her “love” to me as her kid. My father was an absentee father since he was working overseas. Both of my parents are chainsmokers and that didn’t stop them smoking even if me and my siblings have asthma. I keep denying that I grew up as a normal kid but when I entered college and chose Psychology I understood that my parents also suffered generational trauma and are projecting their traumas in me. I am now a Licensed Psychometrician and a Mental Health Advocate and sometimes when I think of it I am shy to admit that I have CPTSD and have suffered emotional abuse as a kid. Your videos are an eye opener and like you and everyone else, I am still a work in progress. I want to heal because I also want to be of service to others as mental health advocate. Healing is linear so is learning that traumas we have doesn’t make us less of a person. I always remind myself I am worthy. Self-awareness is very important. Thank you for being an inspiration to all of us. 💜✨

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for your thoughts :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@LiveWelll]

Hi, I had a crappy childhood and that made me so blind. What I hate the most is that then I failed as a parent and then my kids had a crappy childhood. I've come a long way in understanding generational dysfunction. I know my mom had a crappy childhood as well. What sucks is that I can see that we all have cptsd and boy do we all know how to deregulate. We have had some bad ones. I've been sharing your videos with my children in hopes they learn how to deal with it so it's not passed on to the next gen.

[@jessicab3951]

This is so beautiful! Thank you, thank you, thank you- for clarifying for me that I’m letting go of these self-defeating behaviours slowly. I now take care of my health- I’ve let go of carbs because I’ve noticed how badly my body reacts to it. I’m animal based/ keto-carnivore. Its helped my mood stability and clarity- I can focus on my careers goals more. I’ve chosen a career path and I’m sticking to it. I also workout now- I enjoy gym classes I used to binge on carbs and sugar but it left me feeling terrible. I have better and more intimate friendships, which has been so healing. I find myself saying “I’m ready to be an adult now”. I’m still bingeing Tiktok but I’m so bored with it. I don’t blame anyone, I focus on solutions and take absolute responsibility for myself. I have distanced myself from a friend whose known me for 12 years, she’s been through everything with me. And I’ve noticed small comments about how I’ve changed- I now have something to live for me = me. I have so much love, care and security that I want to provide for myself now. And through sabotaging myself for years I betrayed myself, I betrayed my dreams and desires. Now I’m a capable adult who can make it happen. I prefer reality so much now- I have routines, my goals to focus on and so much more to enjoy in the real life. I have a career plan I’m following. Thanks for this video ❤

[@danchix0009]

I started writing down my fears, resentment, and shame as you have instructed and then listening to your meditation. Every time I wrote it down somehow felt like all those things wrote down are lifted from me like they were not me but something I have added to my energy field. I now view all the worry I used to live in as something that doesn't serve me. I choose to not give it power because I feel how it stops me from being the best version of myself. Especially during the meditation, I physically could sense where fear is in my body, so crazy! Your work is incredible, and it really has helped me so much. Healing is possible! Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

This is SO good to hear. Congratulations. And thank you for sharing your good news here, where so many need to hear it. I hope I meet you in a Daily Practice call soon!

[@Exodus26.13Pi]

Nice production quality. "Everything is black or white!" Wow, so many great points.

[@wge621]

This is awesome. I was on a very dramatic healing journey since July of last year. I feel like I relate to almost all these things now. It's a great feeling and I'm a lot more conscious of when I'm off for some reason

[@katherinefisher3081]

I am there. Focused on me and my joy.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@andrewjohnson6716]

Thank you for making these videos. They are a great help to those who have been under-employed due to their CPTSD and may not be able to afford the therapy that they need.

[@bonniebester606]

Fantasy Can Be Your Creative Imagination Building A Bridge to Your Dreams!

[@nelesseptember5973]

Anna, you are a lifesaver! I am always close to tears when I hear your words because they resonate so much with my story. Surviving trauma is one thing, but living with the consequences is another. I`ve retraumatized myself in so many ways where I found myself suicidal and stuck. Ripping my own heart out time after time. If I had a good thing, a thing that made me happy it caused so much anxiety and stress I would always feel compelled to destroy it. The physical and emotional pain can feel safer just because we are used to it so much. Happiness, freedom and living is a state that feels out of control. So learning to tolerate the good without destroying it over and over again is the hardest one for me. Your work is such an inspiration and I always recommend your videos to people who go through similar situations. Thank You!

[@flamingrobin5957]

i love that you encourage people to take responsiblity for their growth and not see themself as a victim. we were victimized and need compassion and self compassion but we also need people who challenge us to step into our power that we gave up to our abusers. C.C. Fairy youre very gracious how you present the truth.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you. What a lovely compliment.

[@lindafelder3902]

This was HUGE! This video confirms that all the hard work, all the tears are worth it and I AM healing. All 10 signs area evident in my daily life today! Thank you cc fairy for your part in this ongoing transformation! Light & Love

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was useful!

[@genevieveforest7]

Omg, I have worked for SO MANY ABUSIVE BOSSES!!! Sexual harrassment and assault in the work place seems to be a frequent issue for me

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's a very tough situation- hope you can start implementing some of the strategies Anna teachers to face these difficulties. This helped me the very most over a decade now courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice -Cara@TeamFairy

[@holeesheet2021]

Trauma fairy, you should do a video on ACE' and how they predict future outcomes. I think its powerful stuff. And a lot of it could be sharing linls for people to self study to learn more.....

[@bbilgers8686]

I was shocked when I looked at ACE years ago. My score was high but I defied the odds.

[@kellywilliams6823]

Just took the Ace test and was also shocked but sadly not surprised. The happy news is that eleven years ago now, somehow, despite all of the years of torture, torment and agony I found someone who finally cared enough about me to give me a safe space (not at first but eventually) to start to heal. I completely changed my way of eating (SAD to WFPB), cut out the malignant narcissistic relative in my life for good and have been blessed with two wonderful children of my own who give me more love than I ever thought was possible. My only fear is not being emotionally stable/healthy enough for them and luckily my love for them keeps me on the right track and moving ever forwards with my healing. Having an ACE score of 9 is not a life sentence, it just opens my eyes to the amount of work/healing that needs to happen. I know that work/healing will continue the rest of my life and I am *so* grateful for resources like the Trauma Fairy. Thank you!

[@Jennagreekgirl66]

I love you Anna! You make my heart full ❤I’m so happy you are here to help me as a young woman to navigate these difficult patterns, you are an Angel ✨

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad!

[@kristinryling1879]

I’ve decided to begin your meditation practices. I can feel the tension I carry in my body, if I’m going to stabilize my body, I need to reduce the damage to my nervous system. I bowing out of media news, I keep that at a bare minimum these days. If the world wants to go mad, I’m not joining it. I was thinking I’m getting more reclusive, but what is really going on, is I don’t want the calm I’m trying to cultivate to be sabotaged. I tell certain people, please don’t tell me terrible happenings at night before I go to bed, so they do it more, I getting so turned off to these people. We are inundated with news and tragedy, it makes us omnipresent, but I don’t think humans are intended for this sad ordeal, because we are not omnipotent, we aren’t all powerful. I’m very much trying to pick my focus these days, I’m afraid it’s different for my somewhat lost friends. C-PTSD requires a person become introspection, you have to grow, so many of my “normal” friends never look at these things, and they aren’t open to change. I think some of my human blossoms are falling from grace. I’m a follower Anna, because the teaching you provide is self work, hands on, not drugs or therapists, the other outside, it’s me, it’s you, it’s us finding the way. ♥️🌹🕊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad you are beginning a meditation practice...I highly recommend writing fears & resentments just before meditating. Here is link bit.ly/3608opl

[@refreshingAnd]

How are you so good?! I’m feeling these improvements and it’s incredible! All started thanks to coming across you. You’ve made me feel understood and given me a direction to go.

[@kimiriz9343]

For me, it's hard as people start labelling and yet they never tell why they did what they did and what had I done or been doing to them especially when they are people I have never met or talked to before or are they angry because of the way I lost my control and said things I had never said to anyone before in my rage? Or because the person is someone they adore so much or some one they put on the pedestal? It was targeted at a person who is a total stranger who made videos showing his middle finger which went on for months on end. As he keeps silent and has until now did not respond there is no way I can find out why.

[@Natalia_gb]

it's important for videos like these that help us feel in our bodies what regulation and healed feels like. awakening these parts in us energetically. would love to see more of these.

[@SCWatches]

Just wrote a comment after another of your videos and uncanny how close to this. Erased it as no one really wants to know. Thanks anyway.

[@nancyduynslager6981]

Best video, will be listening to this again

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you like it! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@lanishortsunshine5773]

yes, worse I'm worried I will turn into that sigh... I'm sooo ready for this help

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

It's yours for the taking :)

[@dianabowen8774]

Munching on a boiled sweet listening to you not a good idea before bedtime. Dropping that one off the shopping list on my to do list.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

:)

[@ada5141]

I love you and your relentless quest to help us Thank you 🙏🏽

[@corierae2046]

Resonated with quite a few of these thankfully but my biggest challenge as of now is the workplace and dating.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

There is a course just for dating & relationships and a new one coming soon on Connections which is not limited to romantic relationships. Perhaps see you there!

[@honeyjam9593]

Wow, I feel so seen. I can tick all of those boxes. And here I was, confused as to why everything was so difficult for me. Now it’s all making so much more sense. I’m so grateful I came across your channel.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad I could help!

[@GS-st9ns]

I remember my first self-defeating Behavior was procrastination. I did not want to go to school without my hair and I knew that being late would be humiliating.. Now, sometimes I'm late because my hair has to be perfect. Being late is embarrassing. C-ptsd does not go away, does it?

[@apple369]

Hi Anna! Thank you very much for all your videos. I found your channel on new year's eve and the synchronicity is not lost on me considering I've been stuck (for years) with my own trauma recovery. The irony is I'm a trauma-informed somatic counsellor yet I struggle ridiculously with my own CPTSD. You've turned on so many lightbulbs and connected so many dots! I'm excited about witnessing how the daily practice shifts things for me - I'm excited - and that's something new. Truly, thank you.

[@smileyface702]

It was actually kinda encouraging that I recognise myself in some of these signs of healing. Good changes have started to happen and there are definitely still things I need to work on. It can be really easy to feel hopeless and broken sometimes, so i appreciate your videos and they provide hope.

[@megaduck7965]

Thanks, I think I’ve cracked the symptoms and understand how to work on the cure . Time to start living and stop wrecking myself and my mind .

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Welcome!

[@sws3013]

This is all so true! It feels great to feel free and “normal” and life really does start to get so much better.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, it does!

[@Sisoszone]

Amazing :-) Seems I'm getting better... Is slow process but great words of wisdom. Thank you..

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Keep it up! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@sheenapearlbarandino3776]

All you videos speak to my heart 💗

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for being here! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@aJordan21]

Thank you for everything you do. ❤

[@mariahpanit7365]

You truly are amazing and thank you so much for making theses videos its helping me already mentally and emotionally

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@chelsyiorio3001]

You are just so lovely and darling. Thank you.

[@disgruntledkitten9127]

This has just confirmed how much ive changed these last two years. Its the loneliness and not wanting to have people too close that im finding hard. This video has really helped me today. My siblings especially one is still no where near able to understand why im doing ok and she does try to sabotage me. Ive distanced myself from my family but im now kind of a pariah , Hope the new positive relationships come soon. Thankyou xx

[@earthdancing]

Omg, so much is up today and I listened to this podcast. I can entirely see my patterns and fears clear as the day. My spiritual practice is pulling me in and doing its upmost to transform this being. I'm giving it everything I have ti stay present and living with myself.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad!

[@LexiA0327]

Every single one resonated with me and I’ve only been working on it for about two weeks this is amazing I can’t tell you how much you have changed my life for the better thank you so much.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for the feedback, we are thrilled it's helping :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@reg8297]

Self defeating behaviours how I gone thru so much abuse most days of week I am shaking to the core even if I try not to think I feel I'm about to go unconscious I've also learned most people betray u why cause everyone is a sinner I was shocked to find that even people I met with good lives can betray and treat u like shit

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

People. I know.

[@tavishisheal8991]

Thankyou so much, i realised I was doing this retrauma thing. Happy to have found you!

[@charlestischer6735]

I feel like your talking to me and about me in your videos. God bless you! I'm so happy to be understood! Keep up the great work!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, thank you

[@MishkaTia]

Your so wonderful even the way you explain it all thank you so much 💕 This is so helpful

[@Nikolebichon]

I re-traumatized myself by being so angry towards my siblings (including a twin) that they don't talk to me anymore. I didn't even realize it at the time how angry I was. Now years later, I can totally see how my anger was a trauma based coping mechanism and understand why they cut me out of their lives. Also, now that I see it, I'm traumatized from clearly seeing my mistakes for the first time and how bad my anger was. I wrote them all emails to apologize and express my new healthier perspective but I doubt they'll even look at it. I did it to myself unknowingly while struggling with my childhood trauma. It's something I have to live with but at least I'm not angry at them anymore (if anything now I'm ashamed of myself, I'm working on forgiving myself considering the abuse I grew up with but I'm still wishing I did better all those years ago.)

[@dianelewis9458]

You probably didn’t realize your faults at that time. Good for you for apologizing and owning your own stuff. I hope things work out and you reconnect with your family, but even if they don’t, you took the right step.

[@Nikolebichon]

@@dianelewis9458 thank you so much 🙏 living with CPTSD and severe depression sucks so much. Everyday is a battle to survive. Even with all the abandonment and neglect, I’m lucky to be alive.

[@Sashas-mom]

I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this channel! I subbed immediately. I love the title of the channel and all the awesome topics I found on your channel. I’m so happy and hopeful. 🙌🏼

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for subscribing!

[@cathychase663]

Yeah I really like you too- you are calming and talk up to us. There are other very harsh ones on this like Royal We- dislike that one- ugh -so harsh he is.

[@innervision97]

Thank you for this refresher. I have been able to witness myself experiencing these changes on a daily basis, even when it creeps back up on me i know the progress is steady.

[@SeamusCameron]

I really like most of this video and have seen it's efficacy in my own life. I have a minor qualm though. Some of the signs of healing/trauma are only fully applicable if there are no comorbidities (ASD/ADHD/OCD/etc). If someone is not just struggling with CPTSD it gets more difficult to see the line between the trauma and the disability. Especially if the person isn't aware of their comorbidity. I thought I was a lost cause and couldn't get better for years up until I finally realized there was more wrong than just a visit from the "Crappy Childhood Fairy".

[@Thysta]

1.) Stopped smoking 2.) Care for body is almost optimal 3.) Stopped alcohol 4.) Eating is a lot better 5.) Sugar and junk still here 6.) B&W thinking still here 7.) Messing up time on internet still here, but better 8.) Toxic people out, cool people in 9.) Work discipline is something I am working on at the moment, I still have thoughts like "I am not applying to this job because my life will be too easy" 10.) Blame "episodes" are still here, causes soo much guilt 11.) Unavailable partners, amm, sometimes still looking at FB profile of borderlines 12.) I am cool with being single for a long time I'm not actively looking for anyone, BPD girls usually picked me up LOL 13.) Time spent in fantasy still here but about like 30% of what it was [As I write these it really start to hit me that these behaviors are really what people do DURING trauma] 14.) Money? The crazy-useless-mad spending is 80% gone. 20% is being spent on junk food, not okay but better than alcohol

[@wednesday3561]

Thank you! Beautiful confirmation that I am finally healing! Very exciting 🤍

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great!

[@mereditharmstrong9054]

I’ve been feeling depressed and isolated working through this. Listening to this feels hopeful. Thank you for making this channel.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

There is hope! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Bholaday44]

Very, very good, very helpful. Affirming for me as I have worked through so much - thank you. I would love to share with my sister but wonder if she would truly 'hear' it.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, very hard to get people interested, but sharing videos is one of the easier ways...

[@dubravKA1111]

Thank you. Much love. 💛

[@user-cs3bi2cj7b]

I absolutely love your videos God bless you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you-appreciate you watching :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@MI-ur3me]

Thank you so much for wonderful uplifting video. It’s hard to find peace when an ex habbit is to tie a woman (bec they cant think right,treat a woman right a narcissist) no one deserves to be a victim of bully and abuse stalk & put hidden cam, I am already in deep sorrow lost my entire family & victim of trauma from previous abusive relationship suffering from depression & anxiety, yet exposed me to being the target of bully and abuse disrespect privacy, torture mind what have i done wrong. Because if there’s someone good knew what I’ve bee going through would have end all the agony and injustices and not tolerate my ex of the wrong doing, will resolve and give justice. Had caused all people’s mind to think the way he wanted(no justice, no stop for agony suffering from no peace of mind, stealing destroying life entering our room at night when we’re asleep, destroying my peace and mind shaming & bullying no resolution peace and justice for all the losses that had happened to our lives and 2 decades of life suffering from sickness Repetitive unending trauma depression anxiety the disturbances from bad experiences &memories it caused all the agony I have been through) Its not about defeating but stop the abused and bring justices to all the wrong doing to our life.and fix what have been destroyed to reprogram we canot tricked the mind &say” all is well” when the mind knew its not. even I imagine its ok the hearts beat so fast nonstop bec my (mind /memories) have been severely destroyed& injured. No one deserve mental torture. psychological abuse we all need resolution, to resolve immediately not prolonging torture due to all bad experiences, all wrong doings caused the damages and injustices to come to our life.this is between me and my ex, it should not be one side, not allowing him to keep poisoning people’s mind of the wrong doing.bec we dont know what he’s doing behind our back. please know &understand the panic&nervous breakdown it can caused to any woman who longing of peace, love and just God be the center of our life(God for me means all the good not evil) cause i want God to reward me to a good place where all pure good intentions peoples are being placed. severely affected my health,relationship & mind of my family’s family and friends, our (me&my son’s) reputation and mind. Truth will always reveal at the end of all our lives God is the truth. when we returned this life God will reveal all we have done and what happened we all will know.. (who &what) will be the consequences for causing it. mistakes should be learned and not used it as habbit to make more destruction to anyone’s life. My ex keep throwing blame to other people. when its more easy to correct than tell another lies. To the extend God can nolonger forgive him. He gone way too far rather just to fix. im not competing to use the word defeated all we wanted is peace.make it out through this lifetime safe at peace like Jess i could already have a good life in Heaven. where no one competes anyone pulls anyone life to experience hell or do us any more damages to our life, mind, family, relatives& friends people’s people in our surrounding, reputation, destroy all that are precious to my life whether it be my stuff &people who were supposed to be our angels we onced cherished that are very valued to our life(we were not able to return and do good deeds to them {{bec of all the bad happened (trauma after trauma) not heal from last (evil and then another evil again)destroying life}}. I would stil have done more good I was able to save mama, brother, dogs etc I wouldnt have lost them, due to all BAD HAPPEN i suffered health deteriorates panic, nervous breakdown “head””heart”” chest”” all affected. couldnt help them bec I couldnt help myself due to trauma CPTSD. (the unseen forces of God’s enemy keep hurting people ,injured their mind more to hate) only people awareness will be able to help them fight God’s enemy from tricking the mind to do& think bad to others.

[@carolina.rentes]

Guys, I haven't found the carb sensitivity assessment. If it's not too much to ask and if you did, could you help me? I've been watching all the older videos since I found this channel, so I know that there is a chance of no one seeing this comment. Since I'm already here, thank you so much for sharing all of this with us ♥️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

this is an older video. The new link for the "the food plan I follow" is near the bottom of the description section on all my videos.