Crackerjack 2: Hostage Train - The Cinema Snob

[@TanaraKuranov]

Well, you have to admit, it's pretty impressive for Reinhold to defeat a knife-wielding attacker with nothing but a hot mug of...something, and the shirt on his back. What he was doing at his computer in his underwear is a whole other question, but I'm not one to judge. Kinda awesomely hilarious, if you ask me.

[@DinosaurFan88]

The gun sound effects in this movie just make me want to play Goldeneye...

[@TheGlitched64Reads2]

Aah, that intro music. Reminds me of the times i'd try to watch Cinema Snob while going to bed, only to be woken up every 30 minutes to very loud metal music for no reason!

[@ch0pt0p55]

Yes, I too have experienced this.

[@coreyweber2340]

What the hell? I thought the League of Super Critics was connected to Channel Awesome. Kinda bullshit they are taking your views

[@StonedGremlinProductions]

It's not, it was run by Blip and Maker.

[@mikececconi2677]

Blip and Maker, it's like someone got their ineptitude in someone else's scam or is it like someone got their scam in someone else's ineptitude?

[@LtHavoc1983]

Send them a DMCA takedown notice, seeing as they put your stuff on there without your permission?

[@Hromovlad1]

oh, thought Lindsey ran that one

[@akosbarati2239]

I started to watch Brad's videos a few months back right up until the first one, except the ones that aren't anywhere to be found and aren't re-uploaded anywhere, case in point, Crackerjack. To my knowledge, the former Blip made a legit contract (being a KZbin partner) with them, except for Brad's videos, which were, as he said, super-edited to get viewers to watch it on the site that since has closed. I'm no lawyer, but any video, that was made during the existence of said contract and even has the moniker that it was made in part for Blip.tv (as featured in Lupa's videos) can be shown on the channel. In my opinion, the best version would be if Brad could find a hosting service where videos don't easily get copyright struck and playlists can be created, as the recent one is also a mishmash.

[@bartlebyscriviner6456]

The year is 2027...and Snob has finally decided to review Crackerjack 3.

[@marcellofunhouse1234]

the real cracker jack 3 is out last year

[@eijiniizuma6184]

theres a crackerjack 3?

[@HaveanOreshnik]

@@eijiniizuma6184 yes, the full movie is on KZbin actually

[@HaveanOreshnik]

@@eijiniizuma6184 but it doesn't star Judge Reinhold and the character's different, not called Wild it's Jack Thorn now, played by Bo-Svenson

[@Zelkova0234]

I'd watch Ryan stiles play that role as long as there is a carol Channing impersonation for no explainable reason

[@nvfury13]

Zelkova0234 That sounds amazing actually, as long as Colin Mockery (sp?) is also in it.

[@redblueandgray]

Nick V Mochrie. His daughter used to be on TGWTG.

[@SpeedyEric1]

"Would you like me to be Carol Channing?"

[@roringusanda2837]

@@redblueandgray TGWTG??

[@boraxkid1097]

The first joke about Reinhold reminded me of the Simpsons joke where even MARGE found him amazingly bland and inoffensive.

[@sdjfjsdljk3]

Wow, re-watching this episode and I think this is the first time that the "Will it fit" fictional show is mentioned. So great I stumbled onto this after watching the livestream and Brad mentioning this episode in particular.

[@wyrmoffastring]

Diamonds? MA GAWD

[@robertlehto4667]

aww I was going to reference that....

[@goufr3540]

BE DIIAMONDSSS!!!

[@BigGrim87]

Your father the black panther is your father?

[@robertlehto4667]

I think we should be friends.

[@BigGrim87]

Robert Lehto hmm I don't know, I think we should be enemies

[@JounLord1]

I can't tell if Judge Reinhold is overacting or underacting.

[@Kitties_are_pretty]

His performance is somehow reminiscent of Hulk Hogan in Suburban Commando *and* Angela from Sleepaway Camp 1 at the same time.

[@SpeedyEric1]

"He's here for his fuckin' weinny whistle!"

[@ivyg6178]

Lol, exactly 😀

[@brianfuller7691]

I couldn't tell either.

[@CineMasterDamian]

Yes

[@redrum0127]

i was pretty upset after finding out judge reinhold wasn't an actual judge. it still urks me, i feel so lied to!

[@whiteydiamond]

Nothing screams badass more than Neil from Tim Allen's Santa Clause

[@Clay3613]

You've never seen Beverly Hills Cop 2 have you?

[@SpeedyEric1]

Speaking of which, I love the joke about the Oscar Mayer weiny whistle.

[@JasonSanders]

oh hai

[@whiteydiamond]

@@JasonSanders dude!

[@shamingsquad5147]

I feel like this would be the real-life version of Threat Level Midnight.

[@URFTBOUND4LIFE]

I'm sorry but I can't take this dude seriously as a action hero. I mean, Bette Midler kicked his ass in Ruthless People

[@jokerresurrected4261]

Great pull

[@nakenmil]

Also none of the people in the movie wears clothes that fit.

[@theNewBee]

To be fair, Bette Midler could kick all of our asses

[@spideyfan1990]

10 new episodes in one day? Thanks Snob

[@kjanikova6731]

Wooooooot!!! First review ever I saw on this channel related to Czech republic!! We're so tiny and virtually unknown in the US, I will take this form of recognition!! Also, the actor playing Hans is actually very popular in Czech and is a great actor!

[@Spartan155]

K Janíková so how many Americans still think that Czechoslovakia is still a country 😂 God they're an adorable people aren't they?

[@kjanikova6731]

Spartan155 You say adorable, I say annoying :P It's been over 20 years, people!

[@Spartan155]

K Janíková ya but I have to live next door to them on my south :p you learn to live with them

[@kjanikova6731]

I hope you can help spread the news, then :D

[@Spartan155]

K Janíková You're frankly lucky they don't think Europe is one country lol

[@olivermarijuanajones5041]

How did the crew keep a straight face at Judge Reinhold attempting to impersonate an action hero?? And in the whole second half, Reinhold seemed to be in a remake of 'Soul Man'

[@thekiwibird37]

I damn near died over the weenie whistle line. That line alone was worth sitting through this visually abysmal movie. Bless you for this review.

[@danstiver9135]

"He's here for his fuckin' Weenie Whistle!" 10/10

[@TemmiePlays]

the ad I saw was the one with people singing "Take me out to the ballgame" 🤔 3years clairvoyant Snob is my new spirit animal

[@michaelbarker3591]

why do all these videos have 2 dislikes, who the fuck watches 10 videos in a row and dislikes them all?

[@AussieDragoon]

It must be the league of super critics

[@DataCab1e]

This looks like it was edited together from Billy's deleted fantasy sequences in Beverly Hills Cop II

[@rickpgriffin]

Don't worry, I stopped watching League of Super Critics the moment I realized the episodes were abridged

[@Demonanimator]

rickpgriffin same

[@nomduclavier]

rickpgriffin Snob the Abridged Series

[@TheSeptet]

"Screw the rules, I have bad lighting!"

[@NegaRenGenX2gay2lift]

i love House◙pets too

[@N7spongy]

They were? How so

[@agentleman4610]

Admittedly I discovered Snob through the League but quickly stopped watching League when I found Snob's official channel. Give me the unfiltered Snob over a super edited version any day.

[@90sJeremy]

This is obviously the movie that shot Judge Reinhold to stardom. Without this he would of never got his role in The Santa Clause Trilogy lol.

[@SpeedyEric1]

I first new of Judge Reinhold from the first Santa Clause.

[@ColeVecsion]

Pretty sure i know him from a episode of seinfeld, wasn't he the up close talker?

[@roringusanda2837]

@@ColeVecsion The Close Talker!! Get the Seinfeld's some water! They'll need water on the train!

[@TheMisanthropist69]

With all the double-crosses in this movie, are you sure it wasn't written by Vince Russo?

[@SpeedyEric1]

Nice touch on starting the video with the League of Super Critics music you used, and thank God you resurrected you review of the first Crackerjack on your site. 2:23- The theme to Terminator 2, this is not. 4:23- I thought "Whatever" was Phelous's catchphrase. 9:18- At least we never saw Judge Reinhold play Judge Dredd. I also wish I was watching Hellboy, but I'll be too busy watching the DC Extended Universe films in preparation for Wonder Woman. 20:06- I love that Santa Clause joke.

[@tropicjohnny360]

Thank you, Mr. Brad Jones, for this onslaught of Snob episodes. You are the one truth!

[@graemesmith6721]

Whoever told poor Judge Reinhold he could be an action hero with that baby face and those puppydog eyes? And that was Michael Sarrazin as Smith? I remember him from "The Gumball Rally" and "The Reincarnation of Peter Proud." And here he is playing a low-rent William Sadler clone. How sad. :(

[@culwin]

Do you have the URL to "Will it Fit?" Asking for a friend

[@ser6Ijvolk]

Shit, that Judge, Jury and Executioner joke had me in stitches. Also tell me he doesn't look like he's wearing blackface 19:45 .

[@floydlooney6837]

He found a coal mine in the tunnel.

[@shnoogiedogg9800]

That "I'll add sound to that later" joke always gets me haha

[@Clay3613]

Judge Reinhold became Mickey Rourke when his face was covered in soot.

[@adamcheek2244]

*HE'S HERE FOR HIS FUCKIN WEENIE WHISTLE* I can't stop laughing

[@TheArtfulNarrator]

Yes! 20:02 The Santa Clause reference was perfect. Well played.

[@MissGreenAgain]

This movie's music is much better suited for "To Catch a Yeti".

[@mikekz4489]

I miss my mall's FYE store. This is the kind of movie I could find in their clearance section.

[@carlosarmandovegavazquez7038]

I've never see Karl Roden with a pony tail. He looks as equally scary with a bald head.

[@TheBattlesword]

Cinema Snob: “Don’t watch my stuff on the League of Super Critics page” Also Cinema Snob: “Doug Walker (the guy who founded League of Super Critics in the first place) has done no wrong!”

[@ghostface5559]

As a person with a lawyer (distant cousin) in the family it hurts seeing people who need legal advice. On the bright side 10 or so years and I can be a attorney/lawyer, so if you still want that money I could represent you in court.

[@JordanFountain003]

A few times while bingeing these reviews I'm asked to watch a review on a channel not connected to it (never heard of the League, guess I'm late). But I always give credit where credit is due... Like to the creators.

[@M.A.S.K._Crusader]

I love the first Crackjack review, Are you going to upload that one to youtube? Love that one line, Looks like he's got his class photo unpacked and everything

[@davidrowland902]

I'm really confused why this isn't a blackspoitation-Die Hard knockoff...

[@Helljump001]

David Rowland im confused why wood rocket hasnt made a parody of craxkerjack 2

[@rorrim0]

dude the obvious porn title is packerjack

[@TheRealNormanBates]

No, no, no. If there was a porno action rip off, it would be called CRACKERJACKOFF.

[@rorrim0]

Or Whackerjack.

[@rorrim0]

Monroville or whackerjaker

[@pentelegomenon1175]

I would love to make an Airplane-style scene-for-scene parody of this movie, and call it Roasting Heat (anagram for Hostage Train).

[@starless1444]

Oh god, I had no idea that they did that to you on the League of Super Critics page. I won't watch those videos. Thank you for specifying.

[@letthemhateprovidedtheyfea9975]

Oh no it's a Kenny?!!!

[@migsill2168]

Wow, after the Avengers upload on the League of Super Critics page, I thought you stopped uploading for the longest time. That's where I first discovered your work. Now I see why.

[@Amesang]

I hear watching Judge Reinhold portray Jack Wild is a surefire way of summoning forth the Boogeyman… the for real one. … Nah, I'm just kidding! Nothing bad can happen when watching Crackerjack 2, right? I'm sure everything is perfectly

[@DragonMaiden77]

"My name is Judge"

[@SpeedyEric1]

Judge Dredd.

[@phantomzone2725]

And I am... the law.

[@geoffreysorkin5774]

LAAAWWW

[@peteralfano4278]

I'm the guy who played the "overacting hostage" with the bad accent who got shot. That wasn't my voice anyway. But I did get a kick out of your commentary. Judge Reinhold was very nasty on the set.

[@royalfoil5413]

That's really cool. It would be really cool if you contact Brad and have a little interview.

[@HaveanOreshnik]

seriously? like during the set he was obnxious?

[@peteralfano4278]

@@HaveanOreshnik Yes...he was not very cooperative. Luckily my 'big' scenes weren't with him

[@HaveanOreshnik]

@@peteralfano4278 yes some others who worked with him said he was unbearable to work with, so was his wife, spoiled atittude, but also great to hear you got a kick out of it, you still act or live life to the fullest?

[@peteralfano4278]

@@HaveanOreshnik thanks. I do what I can....

[@TheSteelStallion]

5:59 Even she seems curiously confused as to what happened to her.

[@CanItAlready]

FWIW, I stumbled across a full version of the Crackerjack review yesterday on a NOT-League of Super Critics channel, whose owner states in the description that he'll delete it if Brad asks him to. It's just under 25 minutes long.

[@ch0pt0p55]

Who tf told Judge Reinhold he could star in an action flick?!

[@chrislondo2683]

His agent I guess.

[@chrislondo2683]

@Molotov Inkorporated, I bet he fired his agent after this.

[@Rottenberg666]

Ah good ol' Karel Roden. It's so weird when an actor from my coutry (Czech Republic) randomly pops out in American movies

[@HaveanOreshnik]

it's how i felt seeing milla jonovich

[@tyrant-den884]

because when I watch The Santa Clause, I am thinking: they should make the psychiatrist an action hero.

[@SangTheCryptek]

Ahhh, so this is the birthplace of 'Will It Fit?'

[@devinharbert6071]

I like Michael duddikoff , he’s an underrated actor.

[@fartcat8569]

Was there a prize in that DVD case?

[@crazycarl7794]

Jack and Morey flying high...

[@the503creepout7]

i ran a train on some hostages once. still can't believe i got away with that one.

[@Gh0stbusttyler]

I went into another tab for a second and when I came back I honestly thought that Reinhold was in black face at 19:49

[@timsillery8709]

No idea why but I thought that Robert Patrick off Balls of Fury and Spy Kids fame (and maybe some sequel or something) was playing Judge Reinhold's role.

[@JamiJR]

All these years I though Judge Reinhold was an actual judge who got a part in the Beverly Hills Cop movies as a publicity stunt. (Like how actual news anchors will have bit parts as news anchors in movies or weathermen or what have you.) I didn't know he was an actual actor, that he did other movies besides Beverley Hills Cop, or that Judge is his name/nickname/stage name. Seeing this review made me go look him up and learn all these years I was wrong. Basically, I learned something new because of The Cinema Snob.

[@missalcoholic4572]

OH MY GOSH YES!

[@B.-T.]

You think Reinhold was miscast? You should see the 1998 Canadian actionsploitation movie Airborne. That one stars Steve Guttenberg.

[@dbsommers1]

That remains my go to' not an action star cast as an action star' example. Sean Bean got killed in that, as I recall.

[@B.-T.]

@@dbsommers1 Yes. Yes, he did.

[@McMeatBag]

This is better for me if I imagine Judge Reinhold as his character Billy from Beverly Hills Cop

[@TheEmbessyNetwork]

I can imagine this as a spin off of Billy being a badass and the big twist is that it's actually a screenplay that Billy is working on and it's HIS version of what he thought happened in Beverly Hills Cop from his POV. It could be a comedy!!

[@xscore9795]

St. Pepper She-Wolf of the Hostage Train! You're killing me dude! Why am I laughing out loud tonight? Dont abuse substances, kids.

[@Ryan-vl2nn]

Judge Reinhold? Really?? Hell why not some other badass like Paul Reiser?

[@killerbee2562]

At least this movie used real blood squibs

[@carlmadsen5734]

sorry to hear about your problems with the league... they shall be excommunicated. I think you should start a "society" just to spite them

[@redvelvetunderground]

lol @ the police chief slowly casually sauntering out of the building after being told there's a bomb about to go off at 4:28

[@alexthelizardking]

Reinhold is God. if your drunk

[@fuckoff8388]

alex thelizardking *you're

[@murdermusprime7065]

Judge Reinhold would of made a good Max Payne. The movie was nothing like the game any ways.

[@johnoneil9188]

Between this and Simon Sez what is it with bad action movies having names aimed at children? Also I can´t help but wonder if the movie would be better or worse if it had Eddie Murphy in it.

[@Crowley9]

I feel like it's been too long since the the last time the Snob covered an obscure 80s-90s action movie.

[@chrisdooley6468]

His Neil Breen movie review a couple months ago was gold, absolute frickin gold. Check it out

[@redheadboyyy123]

20:02 i actually grabbed my side in pain from laughing so fucking hard at that joke

[@KyleRayner12]

Ah, the origin of "Will It Fit?"

[@FabricFool]

Wait..what? Jack Wild?? He was in HR Pufnstuf! It’s so great he’s doing action films...I had such a major dropdead crush on Jack Wild....sigh. I may have to watch these films, if for no other reason than to hear someone refer to Jack Wild from time to time. Come to think of it, that’s a great action hero name; I’m surprised I haven’t heard it more often.

[@rainyfeathers9148]

Thing is, Judge Reinhold has a 'comedy' face same as Ryan Styles. Then again, that's what I thought about Lee Evans🤔

[@sfighter0085]

Ah yes "Crackerjack". The Cinema Snob tie-in to "A Good Day to Die Hard", or as I'd like to call it "A Good Day to Kill a Franchise", even though I never seen the movie aside from a "Bad Movie Beatdown" review of it with FilmBrain and a Chris Stuckman analysis of it. So thwy made a sequel to "Crackerjack", a "Die Hard" clone that's miles superior to the crap we got in theaters back in 2013. Pretty clear this was straight to video, because I don't think Theaters would be dumb enough to release a movie with special effects (with the exception of the minature train explodind which was kinda cool) so dirt cheap. Also, Judge Reinhold?! REALLY?!! I liked in movies like "The Santa Clause", "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", "Gremlins", and from what I saw of the "Beverly Hills Cop" movies, but him trying to play a badass action hero is just laugable. Great Episode!!!

[@Scatscar1985]

The bad guy shot his female partner so they could rip off "Die Hard With A Vengeance"...

[@darkhero352]

OMG I forgot Judge Reinhold was in the santa claus.

[@amandabraun4588]

10:52 Diamonds? MAHGOD!

[@BloodrealmX]

I've only seen the original Die Hard. I'm getting the feeling it should stay that way.

[@thesuneversets]

Nice how the box cover train is a completely different train than in the film lol

[@mephosto]

guns, diamonds, and molestation would figure into my villainous train scheme.

[@jonathanbethards3689]

Somebody give him his damn weenie whistle before his bad acting kills us all

[@lizzychrome7630]

They named the bad guy after Peter Lorre from "M"?

[@FrenchPaul1988]

When was this made ? The computer the lead is using at a point feels like the mid-1990s (and it comes with that magical software that makes tiny spots in pictures crystal clear too) but the FX for the explosion look like a cheap 2000s movie (something from The Asylum for instance)...

[@phantomzone2725]

In 1997, but I think it was made shortly before the release since it was direct to video.

[@Haveba]

Yes finally, thanks Brad!!

[@mathieuleader8601]

Did the Crackerjack get bushwhacked

[@TemmiePlays]

I can't see judge without picturing him playing an Oscar Mayer weiner whistle in The Santa Clause.

[@TheSefirosu200x]

I think having unsympathetic hostages and victims works... When Doctor Who does it. Like in Flatline. You always know the most shitty guy is going to survive.

[@maugos]

The League of Super Critics still exists? I would think it was shut down by now.

[@aquabreeze7612]

So what's stopping you from posting your review of Crackerjack on your own KZbin now?

[@StonedGremlinProductions]

Some old episodes it's a gamble, because it's hard telling if they'd get taken down over copyright. Blip was a lot more lax about that kind of thing, which makes it harder to upload older content to KZbin seeing how the clips were edited into the episodes completely different.

[@anikmonette2140]

Stoned Gremlin Productions Maybe you could re-review your old stuff? Some viewers likes a new take on an old review and here no one will blame you for doing so...

[@scitechian]

The psychiatrist wiener from The Santa Clause is playing the lead role in an action movie. That would be like putting Sacha Baron Cohen in a serious adaptation of Les Miserables. ...Oh wait.

[@scitechian]

Update: Awesome work on the "He's here for his FUCKIN' Weenie Whistle!" line.

[@nessarolla]

Isn't that the dad from the Santa Claus movie?

[@kennynealtube]

HOLY SHIT a Life and Death reference...

[@ExplorerDS6789]

22:40- Crackerjack 3: Season of the Witch.

[@shnoogiedogg9800]

By the last third of this movie Jack looks like he is in blackface