Crafting a monster in Woodworking Simulator | Monster Factory

Monster Factory is de-industrializing and making a bespoke, handcrafted monster for a change.
themcelroy.family/

[@natalie7851]

this is the perfect cross-section between justin's hobby of woodworking and griffin's hobby of causing problems on purpose

[@sapphic_sophie]

Referring to causing problems on purpose as a hobby is the perfect definition of being a younger sibling

[@kyzf]

Justin makes tables, Griffin breaks games.

[@thebackup2121]

Yes! 😂

[@wwren]

Oldest brother vs babiest brother problems

[@samuelrodriguez4374]

Gotta log looking back when people actually though Justin was into wood working

[@Pixlriffs]

Can't wait to see the cosplay of this one

[@iblame_nargles]

I really want to make this gentleman and have him in my room.

[@iblame_nargles]

not like that

[@gregwessendorf]

I'm gonna go as the floor pit.

[@trhh07]

Why is it that so many of the people i sub to have some connection

[@imawizardandachef435]

8D don’t tempt me

[@calebbroeker7895]

You could've had the dagger go into his back and call him Julius cedar

[@cinnamonro3344]

FFF THATS SO GOOD

[@asukadefender6711]

underrated comment

[@taakotuesdays]

wait that's so smart

[@trahnettilhcs]

Oh, you’ve done it! Second Life, you’ve done it!

[@matlaw]

travis isn’t invited to these sessions so you need to forget where you are and wake up in your adhd lane 😊

[@graceolson3752]

justin sounds like a disappointed father trying to teach his teen son, Sprite Pepsi, how to wood work.

[@evanholt1752]

oh gee At least he doesn’t need to worry about his son getting someone pregnant

[@waylandvolundr3913]

Now if only his other son RC Josta could find a hobby to help get him out of his funk.

[@McMaster1471]

they could always ask their cousin Root Beer Surge for help

[@katzekaiserin]

Still one of my favorite quotes

[@falloown_]

But sprite Pepsi, the little scamp - doesn’t yet know that his father is going to make him sit on his chair boy

[@calypso4533]

The energy of this episode is like half Monster Factory and half classic Polygon playthrough a la Catlateral Damage or Truck Driving Simulator

[@sarahwilliams8438]

I was thinking the home improvisation gameplay video

[@poinai]

yeah, I kept thinking of that car mechanic simulator vid. I miss their overview series videos

[@dennis_duran]

It’s partially because they used to do a lot of sims

[@SuddenlyLikeMagic]

feels like 5 though, duddntit?

[@calypso4533]

@@SuddenlyLikeMagic you don't have a brother

[@charlie7186]

This is what magnus looked like during the suffering game

[@McBehrer]

I appreciate that reference

[@c1nnamodoll]

i was gonna say they have him the eye scar just like how magnus have i think

[@imawizardandachef435]

OH MY GOSH YES

[@angelomc6632]

THIS MADE ME LAUGH

[@inseparalien]

THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING WHILE WATCHING LMAO

[@thekneesbee]

Griffin just absolutely not understanding that the wood in the lathe looks round because it's spinning and not because the lathe makes things round is my brand of strawberry jam

[@Evanko]

peak himbo

[@Bolt6265]

As a game developer I kinda expected it to just actually have just turned it into a round thing just because it's super not trivial to simulate this and it would be significantly easier to deal with an actually round mesh. This game has some complex mesh manipulation going on and I'm impressed. Whoever made this clearly cares a lot about wood working to make something that isn't total garbage. Honestly makes me a little jealous of the knowledge to do this.

[@kyzf]

@@Bolt6265 Honestly pretty dang impressive, imagine these kinds of mechanics being incorporated into other games. You could _literally_ craft your own armor, weapons, furnishings, etc.

[@every_username_is_taken]

​@@kyzf Why would anybody want that? You saw how hard it was to make a simple wooden chair. Plus, the more time and money devs invest on this gimmick, the less time you will spend actually having fun. "Oh. sorry we didn't have time to polish the combat, we were too concerned with a mechanic 5% of the target audience will actually enjoy"

[@flowerheit4512]

@@every_username_is_taken of course the combat would suck but that wouldn't matter. While the dumb heroes were playing with swords we studied the lathe.

[@bigbadgammagnome]

Imagine being the developers of this game and having a place to view all the great creations people made in your game, and then you get this submission of a vaguely man shaped figure, holes and chunks taken out of it with the words "YOU" scrawled out in blood red on its torso It's like the McElroy's are openly threating the developers with their boy Pismokeio

[@Freddie_Kurst]

Suddenly the mouth dagger makes a lot more sense

[@Alexandr.ine2005]

This is not threatening at all

[@1tylerq127]

I broke down into hysterical laughter several times before even finishing reading your comment, thanks for that, if you were trying to kill me you came darn near close!

[@bigbadgammagnome]

@@1tylerq127 I'm glad my comment tickled you so! The near death experience was not intended, but that's the price we pay for comedy sometimes That flirt with laughter and death is when we most truly feel alive

[@cholulahotsauce6166]

Screaming 🤣

[@garfieldbrooks]

pismokio isnt the scariest monster they've created, but he is the most ominous

[@jacksmith3148]

Pismokio, the Portent of Dark Things

[@spicevoid8703]

Pismokio, the Silent Totem of Doom

[@garfieldbrooks]

Jack Smith pismokio is 100% one of final pam's many sons

[@justsomenuts]

i thought it was Bespokio

[@garfieldbrooks]

thejoeface i think its pismokio like a mix of pinnochio and smoke bc of his vape?? i could be wrong tho

[@Knuckleb0ne]

Im down for Monster Factory turning into a conceptual series where Griffin and Justin are the monsters and they just do whatever they want.

[@4nn4h]

I think it's clear by this point that they've been the real monsters all along

[@crackedemerald4930]

It's an anthology

[@beardedemperor]

Um, actually, Griffin and Justin were the names of the scientists, not the monster

[@sethescope]

@@beardedemperor this gave me a good chortle, my friend 10/10

[@faroshscale]

I love that as soon as griffin puts the holes in it and it vaguely resembles a face, he starts referring to the wood as "he" instead of "it"

[@garfieldbrooks]

the innate human urge to anthropomorphize anything that vaguely resembles a face

[@chococtopus]

I desperately hope this starts popping up in recommended for people who are really into IRL woodworking

[@alistairpage-mcgill2723]

It has!

[@shawnsalada9923]

Can confirm that watching IRL hardcore woodworkers ABSOLUTELY enriches this experience. Perfection.

[@cawcawmeowmeow]

My hobbies have collided and I couldn't be happier.

[@Otie_Boy]

When are Justin's farthole wooden chairs going to be available on your merch store?

[@sharkofjoy]

Wait why are you blaming Justin for this

[@Sam-dv8mt]

how did you make a comment 6 days ago?

[@Otie_Boy]

@@Sam-dv8mt The video wasn't listed until today, but I had already been watching the monster factory playlist when it was added unlisted, so I was able to watch it.

[@Otie_Boy]

@@sharkofjoy Oh, don't get me wrong. Griffin is absolutely the ideas man in this innovation in chair making. But Justin does the woodworking so I figured he'd make some artisan-crafted chairs for those in need of some fartholes.

[@takethewordss]

@@Otie_Boy I really just accepted the timestamp at face value because time is a construct anyhow.

[@solophentii3468]

“Measure none-ce, cut as many times as you need.”

[@sariannas2799]

I want that on a t-shirt.

[@blarg2429]

@@sariannas2799 How will you know if it's in your size though?

[@armleg]

blarg2429 Dude, did you read the quote? They’ll cut it until it fits. Smh

[@blarg2429]

@@armleg I'm just imagining the most raggedy, sliced up shirt in existence now. Thank you.

[@CJJC]

Sarianna S Careful putting anything that looks like “nonce” on a T-shirt.

[@personperson1604]

"Just like chair!", chair experts admit

[@BlockPartyRobotLeague]

"Disgraced chair manufacturer Ikea gives up" edit: fuck i should have put "Two new chairmen elected"

[@binary_terror2]

Toe to tip!

[@Annie-br2uh]

Take it to the bank, boys. This one’s just like chair!

[@bugdracula1662]

carpentry creator Magnus Burnsides retires from carpentry, gives job to McElroy brothers "they are better at chair than I am" he admits

[@sophia7715]

Toe to tip, it’s a perfect chair!

[@nickstotter1145]

Up next: wooden man recreates griffin and Justin in Flesh simulator.

[@taylordiclemente5163]

Features tools like flesh saw, flesh plane, flesh lathe.

[@nicholasstotter6592]

@@winddancer613 I guess that sorta happened with WWE...

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

"You promised me FLESH!" Creepio from Auralnauts

[@graykeenenight.4571]

isnt flesh simulator just spore

[@itsashane1552]

“Wooden Gentleman” sounds like a euphemism

[@Rabbit_Hill]

I am absolutely going to use it that way

[@doing_aok]

is he a ya know “wooden gentleman”

[@mixmastermind]

In this episode: the McElroys complete a custom order for the Blair Witch

[@rynemcgriffin1752]

Don’t you mean the Arby’s Parking Lot Witch?

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

@@rynemcgriffin1752 I don't like her. She changed the menu and there's nothing I can pretend is food from Arby's anymore.

[@nemesis3392]

They did it, they made a monster factory that doesn’t disturb me while eating!

[@funx24X7]

Perhaps, but I still found it to be an extreme choking hazard from the laughter

[@NezumiWorks]

So you consider this a failure, then?

[@themidnighthumor]

I thought I was the only one who couldn't watch this on their lunch break haha

[@boanthony]

Nemesio Dela Cruz i have this exact problem

[@lawrencescales9864]

24:07 would make me uneasy eating with that slow ass drilling into the head near his vape pen

[@huh.2]

I think hearing griffin say “dummy thick” made me actually black out for a second

[@huh.2]

16:08 for anyone who wants to relive the experience

[@spencykings3182]

for me it was justin singing "i can make you a man" from the rocky horror picture show (1975)

[@stupidass69420]

@@spencykings3182 I got whiplash from that

[@crazyashlii]

I'm only 4 minutes in, and the amount of times Justin has told Griffin "that's a lathe" is killing me

[@derekehlmann2126]

I hope, in my heart of hearts, that some woodworking madman makes the McElroys an exact replica of Pismocchio and gives it to them at a future live show if those ever happen again

[@zoejones3244]

Definitely a miniature guy, imagine someone take the train with a 6’6 threatening wooden gentleman and standing in queue🤣

[@adaritter9597]

@@zoejones3244 .... I don't see the problem they should definitely do this

[@LostApotheosis]

Surely draping The Gentleman with a sheet will make The Gentleman *less* disconcerting.

[@morgansearle3912]

They're gonna have to go really careful with their lathe.

[@alphasquid1933]

Yours is the truly correct spelling of Pismocchio.

[@ToyKnives]

"Griffin and Justin Craft the Perfect Death Threat"

[@commandrogyne]

the nature of humanity is such that we just invent pinnochio again

[@pocketchia374]

I love your profile pic

[@menilakataraseefluppenimia6970]

But this time without the Italian fascist

[@garfieldbrooks]

Deckardioneious Ghanax pinnochio was a facist????

[@menilakataraseefluppenimia6970]

@@garfieldbrooks overland.org.au/2014/05/making-real-a-fascist-puppet/

[@menilakataraseefluppenimia6970]

@@garfieldbrooks It makes a lot of sense if you realize that the moral of the story is that if you're bad child you'll be enslaved and murdered. That and also the racial caricatures.

[@Mistheart101]

As someone who got into woodcarving like 6 months ago and is a long-time Monster Factory fan: This is tailor-made to appeal to me. Thank you, boys.

[@leannechambers4064]

Was woodcarving your quarantine activity? That’s really cool.

[@lazybum965]

Time for your to subscribe to Justin’s instagram! He’s been woodworking in quarantine.

[@ryntalkstoomuch4686]

the sanding is really clean what kind of wood did you joints

[@sharkofjoy]

Dovetail

[@TheReedbl4ck]

U broke me

[@defn0tjake]

good craftsmanship

[@thephoenixsystem6765]

Look at those joists

[@sigilvii]

oh mortising? yeah buddy what kind of wood glue are you using

[@ashrishaw5435]

16:40 I love it when Griffin sounds like he's gone to a whole different HOUSE to laugh

[@LordCantalo]

"Computer, stand the gentleman." There's something about that line that I love.

[@sharkofjoy]

"The Yaw of My Saw" is the name of my new Bluegrass band

[@kellennicholson4488]

Imma yaw your saw if you don't let me steal that

[@shizaya]

Did I stumble upon the SECRET MONSTER FACTORY

[@crowsarewatching540]

OH YES YOU DID

[@shizaya]

This comment doesn't make sense anymore but I'll always remember that beautiful chapter in my life where I had access to a secret Monster Factory

[@c1nnamodoll]

LMFAOO SIX DAYS AGO MY DUDE ??? WHAT

[@morganl5875]

lol how?

[@laorille]

@@morganl5875 Probably Patreon?

[@igamergirl14]

Finally, Justin's "How to Fake an Interest in Woodworking" comes in handy.

[@zoejones3244]

It looks so clean!

[@weirdbuttrue24]

How long did the sanding take?

[@fanfandom551]

Is it pine?

[@Kumagoraa]

Oh my gosh I accidentally found a secret episode. I knew watching this playlist while I sleep every night would eventually pay off

[@kingofbeetles]

NOT KIDDING THATS HOW I FUCKIN FOUND THIS EPISODE HDJVDV it started playing right as i woke up and for a whole ass hour I thought it was just a dream this video doesn’t feel real at all

[@dildonius]

This isnt a secret, it literally was uploaded 10 minutes ago

[@janakavolpe3640]

Not a secret... just uploaded

[@theWeaverofTales]

@@dildonius It was made public just now - it existed a week ago (check the dates on the comments)

[@Sara3346]

@@dildonius note he said this six days ago.

[@pocketsizepunk]

This is the canon design for the Suffering Game mannequins

[@NoGoodIDNames]

Justin's caught between his pride as a woodworker and his duty as an entertainer and you can hear it in his voice tearing him apart.

[@katsdraws]

This feels so much more like they’re just two brothers playing a game together and forgot they were recording. I adore it.

[@ryanne.5172]

When they took the first piece out of the lathe I let out a terrible cry. I think it was a laugh, but I can’t be sure.

[@Muttsley]

Is this just Justin trying to show off his quarantine woodworking skills

[@watermelonsunglop]

YES

[@Mrsthallium]

"What kind of wood is that?"

[@coryspiers2360]

When we were boys, it was Monster Factory. Now that we are men, it is Monster Workshop.

[@magic2174]

i love the implication here that boys--not men-- belong in factories

[@mothmanofficaltm8397]

@@magic2174 where else do they belong?

[@chiplickums9263]

When they're inside the spinning monster it's like the end of insterteller

[@LimeyLassen]

splinterstellar

[@TheSkullivan12]

Can't wait for part 2 when they take Pismokio through the story campaign.

[@lCYU81]

Impeccable gluing job. A single dollop really holds Pismokeo together when get gets spun on the lathe.

[@solsticelacer]

Griffin: "I think he's out there, watching, waiting..." Me: "... commiserating?"

[@atticwindowful]

Say it ain't so!

[@ruleestory]

I cannot even articulate how hard I laughed at, “Griffin has decided to measure nonce and cut as many times as you need.”

[@WG55]

I like to imagine that Justin and Griffin are taking a woodworking class at their local community college, and the teacher is having a nervous breakdown.

[@Levacque]

It just makes it so much better to imagine a normal man running after them behind the camera, not necessarily trying to stop what's happening, but certain that he can't ethically stop supervising.

[@k.g.donathan6271]

"How's that look?" Griffin, softly and calmly: "Not great."

[@gideonebeling]

When I saw the options for what to make at the beginning and compared them to the thumbnail I thought, “surely my good friend Griffin will choose free play so he can get the full experience of woodworking without limitations. Surely that is the sandbox where he can truly spread his woodworking wings and soar, guided by the capable hands of his wise brother.” I was not expecting him to choose chair.

[@Levacque]

I was not expecting Chair to lead anywhere. I thought they'd fudge around and then go to free build, but certain shape started emerging like a marble sculptor.

[@spellhaus]

15:49 Clint McElroy just rose straight up out of the depths of Griffin's genetic code with that laugh

[@Dazzaster84]

Oh boys, I hereby commission a new series of Just Like Art

[@maiab-w8733]

please!

[@sunnysherman7915]

Oh already at the outset you can see how much this is going to distress Justin.

[@nolanchill]

"Hey wanna watch two guys play Woodworking Simulator?" "I dunno, that sounds kinda boring..." "It's Justin and Griffin-" "I'M IN."

[@lr-]

I’m utterly shocked they actually made a freestanding wooden entity

[@skyexander6604]

Imagine seeing a Kijiji ad for a Freestanding Wooden Entity, I would hurl my body into the sea.

[@Genderanarchy]

Honestly Entity is the perfect adjective for this special guy

[@maddiebeatty]

wow, this monster must have been a pain to sand!

[@McBehrer]

The joints are really nice. What wood is that?

[@rileypaulin7441]

It looks so clean!

[@grimbostink7607]

Really clean joins on this one.

[@LostApotheosis]

I tried to share this with my mom knowing she wouldn't vibe with it and she almost immediately sent back "your choices in entertainment never cease to amaze and disappoint me in equal measure." I- well...

[@jprofio]

The fact that it's pointing makes it that much more threatening by the end tbh

[@theWeaverofTales]

Man, this feels like an old fashioned Gameplay Overview Good good nostalgic energy in these trying times

[@pinkfloydguy7781]

I spend like 2-3 hours a day watching their old gameplay overviews...

[@justaddwater6644]

What nobody’s talking about is how this opens the door to them playing minecraft on Monster Factory

[@PyroNebula]

Of all the Monster Factory monsters, Pismokio is both the least and most frightening since he's just a bunch of wood but since that's the case he might be the only one who could easily be created in The Flesh World

[@dimihall2767]

he did it again. The genius, Justin McElroy, has conned us into watching another video that was specifically created for him to tell us about his new favorite hobby and how much he knows about it. I hope he’s happy.

[@demoniccats5217]

My favorite part is when they are trying to build the chair and Griffin turns around to see an already built chair and just goes “wait.”

[@GiantButterKnife]

"Father, how did I come to be?" "Well, you see...I was making a chair, then I kind of just got carried away." "...."

[@besidethebishop]

"Then I said FUCK IT and just started tearing shit up"

[@julielaughs14]

"Just a chair you could really strain some pasta through" HOW DOES THE MCELROY BRAIN COME UP WITH THIS STUFF

[@spore4ever91]

WHEN ARE JUICE AND GRIFF DOING A LIVE ACTION MONSTER FACTORY AT JUSTIN’S

[@partlyironic]

This is definitely an underrated Monster Factory. Return to it often.

[@montanarose4622]

Six months, and the two things Justin has learned from his woodworking magazines are A) what a lathe is B) bevel

[@wumbology6072]

I’ve had a rough week I really needed a monster factory episode

[@hard.g0re]

I hope you feel better hun :(

[@wumbology6072]

Spooky bitch!!! You had no need but that’s so sweet 🥺🥺

[@mdoughty]

i love u weebus

[@MortusSweet]

♥️♥️♥️

[@wumbology6072]

maeve ❤️🥰❤️❤️

[@lukesguywalker]

the whole body in the lathe made laugh so hard i started coughing. that was a lot

[@hpalpha7323]

loving the hand crafted, artisanal monster

[@Dragoness091]

remember that wood witch from Brave? Yeah this is exactly how I imagine everything in her store was made.

[@mikkischlauder4388]

17:47 Really wasn't expecting the Rocky Horror reference in Woodworking simulator lol

[@ericaschoenberg7782]

Mikki Schlauder in JUST! SEVEN! DAYS!

[@S0MEKAT]

“woodwork simulator” *aka justin mcelroy’s entire quarantine*

[@TheAmazingAlyse]

I like to imagine this didn't start off as a Monster Factory, but it sure ended up there

[@tombrown9587]

Damn that Stanley 7 sure is a beautiful tool. Some people don’t like hand tools but I think it’s just perfect when you’re trying to get your grim portent of a creation dead flat.

[@vnseelie]

my dad has a large collection of antique Stanleys and thanks to this I know EXACTLY what I'm going to do with them when I inherit them

[@dogtheories]

I'm unnaturally obsessed with pismokio just saying his name gives me so much serotonin I think im broken inside

[@maydaymads]

I think of Justin singing “in just seven days, I can make you, a ma-a-a-a-an” while gazing upon their creation at least twice a day

[@monk864]

19:01 OH God, it's busto! He's trying to consume the universe again!

[@krisu3441]

Y’all just make an SCP. Like, why is THIS genuinely the most terrifying creature you’ve made. This video screams insanity, delirium, hysteria and chaos. I loved it 🖤

[@nomnomsammieboy]

finally plank friends. the only companions i need.

[@neofoxboi]

This ends up looking like something that'd be worshiped in an A24 movie.

[@giantworm4699]

“try and put it in the vice!” “is this the vice?” “that’s a lathe.”

[@kyleolson2642]

Love how Griffin drops right into "PBS Voice" while making this rustic, handcrafted horror.

[@piercenborchardt5224]

You should do a monster factory with Heroforge Custom RPG minis Then play a one shot with them

[@pecanarchy]

“Who needs Tony Hawk?” Yeah, you got all the boards you need right here

[@Cameron368]

Zeke Teenweed was DEEPLY offended by that comment

[@eliallen3528]

I would watch you two play literally any game with 'simulator' in the title.

[@Nidogen]

The way Griffin says the word "chair" in this episode activates my fight or flight instincts

[@rancidprince3133]

I wish the arts and crafts series had come to fruition

[@theironworks]

"Is that even? Not even close!" My stomach hurts from laughter

[@scyence]

This gave me the polygon gameplay overview video tingles.

[@sweets8710]

I felt it in my bones that there was a new episode. Oh bless, blessings upon us

[@mammon_is_god]

Justin invented the greatest horror game: Dad In Woodshop. You have to stay in your shop and build as your family slips into lunacy outside. "Dad, come skin the cat with us. Dad, it's time for lunch, we're eating grandma's bones" "No thanks kids, just gotta...uh, lathe another thousand boards"

[@Kryptnyt]

The reality-bending lathe really makes me want this game.

[@jesseb9600]

I'm glad Monster Factory can just be Griffin and Justin messing around with a game. It is hands down my favorite thing on the internet!

[@GaaMacgfx]

Justin must be screaming inside watching this without being able to play lmfao

[@marissawilkinson1400]

"look at those side by side not even close" lmao

[@danielcampbell2838]

"You know how you love chair?" has made its way into my daily vocabulary.

[@willd.4808]

I know that the McElboys are hip with modern memes and slang, but nothing could’ve prepared me for Griffin saying “dummy thicc legs.”

[@fineblanket]

I feel like Justin's love for woodworking really held him back from fully enjoying and getting pits deep in the Bauhaus-esque interior design Griffin wanted to create.

[@osaka_lilac]

when they started cutting through the ground i kept imagining that one bit in every loony toons cartoon where someone cuts a circle around them on a cliff and they just fall

[@rhysgerbiltron4041]

20:16 yah u made him dizzy :(

[@cjrockband]

Magnus "Five attacks" "Pismokio" Burnsides, The Wooden Gentleman

[@BucklingSwashes]

I need someone to recreate Pismokio in real life and reveal the surprise at the boys' next live show.