Angry, Dysregulated, Can't Think? Here's How to Feel Better ASAP!

[@madamedennis6726]

Disregulated...I had no idea it was a thing. I've experienced this all my life. Better now but still happens on occasion. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us and how you walk through this! I think just knowing it's a real thing, it may help real me in faster. Thank you💕

[@TheFinalBathAmber]

Same

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it helped! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@BrainSturgeon]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy your team does incredible work with CCF

[@kareng7397]

It takes me 2-3 days at least to get better after anything that causes anxiety for me

[@steve4524]

Me to Karey It’s good to know we are not alone on this journey

[@wallysmith6344]

The part where she said she used to cry everyday.That where I’m at now.😢

[@kimhodgson1748]

Same with me

[@BELOVED_JOSIE]

It’s so embarrassing I feel so much shame when I get dysregulated especially around people

[@daniellecharming]

Me too

[@Dagmahra]

Me as well :)

[@vnette9777]

Same but I remind myself that No one is perfect we all have bad moments and I forgive myself for it and try to move on but yes it's so embarrassing when I lose it.

[@ixizn]

I’m right there with you, but try to remember that the shame in itself can be (and often is) dysregulated too, so don’t forget to be kind towards yourself. Shame serves no purposes other than making us feel bad. Guilt is one thing if we’ve done something wrong we need to set right, but shame is likely from our childhood and not something we should’ve ever been forced to carry to begin with. Lots of love ♥️

[@vnette9777]

@@ixizn ♥️🙏Thank you.

[@shimmeringchimps3842]

I can 100% confirm that limiting how much you keep repeating a story and stop ruminating is THE KEY to happiness. That was a major part of my healing.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@luannkelly5071]

Getting ripped off disregulates me big time. I was ripped off and defrauded by an interstate moving company. I lost 3/4;of my household belongings and still haven't recovered 3 years later. Your Mr. Roger's method has been helping me so much.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so sorry that happened, thanks for sharing. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@erkrabeusylime]

This happened to me too I’m so sorry it’s incredibly stressful

[@cookiesmom584]

Me too. Super hypersensitive to getting conned & lied to since it’s happened so many times in my life. I think we can all relate, deserve to forgive ourselves, be gentle with ourselves, accept, learn and grow💕💕 LOVE this honest community.

[@Lulu-gg2zq]

My name is Luanne too. Just spelled differently.

[@bethtaylor9773]

Thank you for your honesty. Yes, I can be triggered by someone acting like people did when I was growing up - especially the denial of reality. I think that my brain gets stuck on an a round and round track of trying to figure out how to fix it - when it's not something I can fix. The daily practice (step 10 for me) is absolutely helpful. Then doing a quick step 7 to ask that fear and anger and resentment be taken away - whatever part of it that God wants to remove right then. It's a process. Eventually, God lets me know what I can and can't do about it. I memorize some of the Psalms and other scriptures and say those each morning in order to remember that God is in control not me and that He's protecting me. The dysregulation doesn't happen often, but my idea is that it's normal to a degree after the upbringing I had - which isn't happening now. Thank you for the other techniques.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you have some steps to take :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Julie-iw3mh]

@ Beth Taylor Hi Beth which Psalms do you read and scriptures that help you understand God is in control and not us? I like your comment and I do the same but have terrible anxiety and fears and worries.

[@bethtaylor9773]

@@Julie-iw3mh I think that it's different for each person - that what God resonates for each individual is like an iep (individualized education plan). My personal favorites are Psalm 1, Psalm 23, Psalm 27, Psalm 91, Psalm 96, and Psalm 103. Have memorized over time those and say them each morning - it's like a prayer. I started small and just expanded. Also Matthew 5:3 through the rest in pieces; John 1:1-18, John 15 the whole chapter. My favorite is Philippians 4:4-9 - that's where I started, and it grew. I think the Lord will lead you to your own playlist as you need it bit by bit. Thank you for asking and letting me share that.

[@Julie-iw3mh]

@@bethtaylor9773 Thank you Beth for sharing this. Have you had to do a lot of work to recover and did you suffer trauma depression anxiety on this journey ? Sorry to ask more questions, it just gives me hope I can get a bit better. Been so unwell for 3+ years and it's been a long time of daily suffering. Holding on by fingertips most days.

[@bethtaylor9773]

@@Julie-iw3mh Yes, lots of 'work' - in Al-Anon working steps with a sponsor. It was a gradual erasing of the old idea that people have the power to make me or break me and a replacement of those old feelings of being unloved and not being able to trust...with the awareness of God's power to make me ok anyway - that He loves me and that Jesus loves me - that He is living and so trustworthy

[@lindsays2007]

This video couldn’t have come to me on a better day! Lots of stress today. House hunting, big job interview coming, dealing with in-laws, on top of my partner being in a wheelchair due to a chronic disease. But just hearing your story and what you’ve been going through with your emotions, and how you pull yourself out of the pit, gave me sooo much comfort! The guidance was great and I feel like I can breathe again.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yay, that's great :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Norton57]

Aw! Thanks for the prompt to think about positive memories, and to articulate to sensory stuff. Often I think about my Grampa for delightful memories : like once I made him a pie and he would occasionally bring up how good it was - for about 20 years! He used to mention offhand little details, like how he loved the smell of fresh cut hay when he was a kid. He had a really tough upbringing and I think he figured out how to regulate like you describe in this video. And he was a radiant person who brought so much joy to everyone. He's proof for me! My hero!

[@lindsays2007]

Thank you for sharing your Grampa with us. What a wonderful guy. Love the pie story. And mmm fresh cut hay! Thanks again :)

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's a great memory to have, thanks for sharing! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@susanfrongillo4509]

Anna, you are a godsend! Seriously! I’m a 58 yr old woman who has suffered from childhood sexual snd emotional abuse and parental alcoholism. Your teachings have helped me so much! My emotions and behavior feels validated and I now feel like I have tools to work on it! Thankyou! I feel like i was guided to your channel. Huge!♥️

[@sonorasenora5911]

They just don't get any more real and transparent as you are Anna...so APPRECIATED bc that's NOT easy for people like you and us...THANK YOU

[@MariahRuthven]

All your videos are helpful, but when you share your own experience it makes me feel more connected to you. Thank you for sharing this and sharing your techniques. I have similar ways, thanks to you, but seeing you talk about it and knowing you are actually practicing your own healing makes me realize 2 things. 1 : I have a long way to go and 2: it’s okay, because look at you being an inspiration. Thank you Anna.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We all have a long way to go, and we get comfortable with that. Here's a link to the Daily Practice technique :) bit.ly/38JfzK1 -Cara@TeamFairy

[@redhead911126]

Idk if I have cptsd but I found all of this incredibly relatable. That's exactly how it feels when I get angry with people. I also found that working in increments is a game changer earlier this year, it helped me do things even when I feel depressed

[@ShadaeBalancesKnightAstro]

I’d love to try out working in increments as it’s extremely challenging for me to work through negative emotions. Do you mind sharing some tips that have worked well for you?

[@nainasarkar183]

Yes please, share some tips

[@goodgrief888]

For some of us who grew up in extreme dysfunction with a caregiving adult who made us walk on eggshells and saw malice in even our best of intentions, the suggestion of doing a good deed for someone you know can give us flashbacks to the many times our good deeds were looked at sideways. I even gave my BPD older sister flowers relatively recently after she caused a lot of problems in my life, but I wanted to rise above the situation, let her know I wasn’t angry, and that I was going to let it all go. She accepted the flowers, and I believed we were in a good place. But word got back to me that the story being told among my family members was that I “threw” flowers at her in anger. That’s the last time that we spoke, or will ever speak. Definitely doing something kind for someone YOU DON’T KNOW where they won’t find out you did it is the ultimate in feeling good about yourself. I know you also suggested that, and I want to acknowledge that as well. And that’s something I have found can be the least triggering for those of us who grew up in extreme dysfunction. There’s a womens shelter across the street from me that houses women and their small children from abusive situations. They accept money, but also gifts of unopened food, toys, and clothes. It feels good to give anonymously to that shelter and know that I’m not a “selfish evil malicious POS” like my older sister has always told me that I am. :)

[@debraspence3559]

I had similar experiences as you where I was treated like the enemy as if I was a horrible person for just being a child. There is an underlying part of me that wants desperately for people to know that I mean them no harm and that I'm a "good" person. Sending a virtual hug 🤗

[@goodgrief888]

@@debraspence3559 thank you, Debra! I appreciate the virtual hug and am sending one right back! Back at the beginning of our relationship, I felt the need to force my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) to say things to me like “You’re a good person. You’re not a bad person.” I didn’t even realize it at the time where all of that came from. I just thought everyone else was getting all kinds of verbal acknowledgement all the time and I wasn’t, and needed to tell people how to say it out loud. Now that I’ve permanently separated myself from my super toxic and dysfunctional family, who were still, until very recently, coming into my life and completely derailing it, creating complete chaos, and causing me massive anxiety and panic attacks because of their lies, gaslighting, and scapegoating me even decades after we all left our parents home, I have finally been able to see very clearly how much better my life goes when I don’t have any contact with them, and how suddenly all of my “chemical imbalances”, not to mention my constant need to be reassured that I’m not a bad person, not an evil person, that I’m ok, that I am not the cause of everyone else’s problems all the time, etc, it all stops after a few weeks of not having any contact with anyone in my family. Weird!!!???!?

[@debraspence3559]

@@goodgrief888 wow that's wonderful!!!

[@goodgrief888]

@@debraspence3559 Oh, and I want to say, with the help of The Crappy Childhood Fairy, who taught me about dysregulation and the neurological changes that happen to a person who is continuing traumatized with verbal and emotional abuse. I really had no idea that I had CPTSD until stumbling upon the Crappy Childhood Fairy’s videos. Now I’m actually doing hard work in therapy, and watching her videos, and writing, to undo all of the years of damage. And won’t let them damage me anymore. It’s been super hard to get everyone around me to understand that this is what I need is to stay away from these people, but my therapist and my husband both said, after the flower situation happened “I think you shouldn’t have contact with these people anymore.” It’s validating to know I’m not imagining these things. Thanks for listening and sharing your story too

[@kimhodgson1748]

@@goodgrief888 my childhood is very similar to yours, I too only realized I had CPTSD from watching Childhood crappy fairy, may I ask what kind of therapy you are having as I have had therapy in the past and it has never helped heal my symptoms and trauma. I know I need therapy but I dont know where to start to find someone who can help me

[@honestreviewer3050]

I have been watching your videos for the past 7 months and this is the first time I have commented. I just want you to know how pivotal you have been in my life. I’m tearing up just writing this. I have a clearer understanding of myself and an amount of grace that I never thought I could have. Thank you thank you thank you for finally giving me a name to what I have been experiencing my whole life since an extremely damaging and violent childhood. It’s changed my self perception from being a damaged person that someone will just have to learn to tolerate, to hope that I can actually heal and get the relationship I know I want and deserve. I have yet to experience a more powerful resource and actual tools that will help me. I know you hear this all the time but I really hope that it sinks in. You bring hope love and understanding to so many out there and I am so very grateful that you decided to follow your heart so that you could help the hearts of so many others. I am eternally grateful that I came across your channel and I’ve already purchased your dating course. Keep on shining!

[@Fae313]

Anna, this video couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m not embarrassed to say your channel and the timing of your videos feels like divine grace. Thank you for your work, by healing yourself you have been able to help so many others heal. You are an inspiration and a model for us all 🙏❤️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So appreciate your support! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@keelydunhill2308]

I couldn’t agree with you more…❤

[@kathleenmagois7904]

Thanks for sharing this ! I was recently the victim of a fraud. Once I got everything stopped and ironed out, I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and shame of feeling like this senile old woman and a total mark. I didn't even want to leave the house. You're right that talking about these feelings doesn't help, just stirs them up even more. Writing them out though really does help to put things into perspective. I really appreciate all your help and support.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad writing them out was helpful for moving forward. Sending you encouragement. - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@manillascissor]

I went on three dates with a lovely person and while texting about the 4th, she let me know she wasn't interested in a relationship w me anymore. I was GUTTED and it ruined my night and plans for today. I moped, cried, and took a few naps. But today, roughly 18 hours later, I have things I have to do and I'm getting ready to do them. I let the bomb hit me and it really hurt (still does), but luckily I have my own life to get back to. Her loss 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@Wormwoodification]

I think you're allowed to be upset when someone breaks up with you.

[@ColdDiva]

Thank you for showcasing your process within your humanity.

[@klelo001]

Anna, This is what I love about you so much, you're not afraid to tell the truth!! The truth just resonates with me. We are all healing, it's not like you're the "Master Crappy Childhood Fairy" and you don't dysregulate anymore. It happens to you because of your PTSD and then you reregulate, that's the key to catch the dysregulation and be aware of it and take steps to reregulate!! I also want to thank you because two days in a row I got slightly dysregulated and was able to catch it and take the steps to reregulate. Before it used to happen and I had no idea of what was going on, I just thought I had a really bad temper...😘

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Exactly! Thanks for your kind comment.

[@amberhyland]

A panic attack threw my whole day’s plans out the window today. I felt like the sky was caving in on me and I was exhausted - slept the entire afternoon. Thank you for this video!! It’s so nice to know there’s hope on the other side of this

[@marleenstukkien5384]

"You're made to be in the service of good": this is why I love your channel, Anna! For me personally, it's so true, it gives my life new meaning, living like this, a right to be here (and to everyone who disagrees on that: that sounds like a you problem, not a me problem, not anymore). So happy to have discovered this secret to getting a second chance and so happy that you spend so much time and effort to share what you know about giving yourself that second chance with us 😊👍

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for that beautiful share! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Missy-vc3mz]

Ditto!

[@kimhodgson1748]

Same here

[@sybilizzard6401]

I'm so sorry you had a bad week and I'm sorry for anyone who struggles with emotions. Today I also had a terrible day falling out with narc family members. I was domineered and gaslighted and left like a sack of worthlessness. I'm not perfect but I do have so much empathy and I get almost zero back just domineerance and I'm not enough. I know the absolute darkness and loneliness and powerless and self blame and feel detached from the world. Right now I want you all to know I care you feel bad and I care that you should feel better and I want that for all of you and you are not alone despite where you are and what's happening. We all on same earth and when we feel terrible there are others that do too and they would want you to be OK so please just remember that as this vid and comments made me realise this. Care about yourself like others would even though we seem so far apart. We are all here.X

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Appreciate the message of love! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@bethtaylor9773]

I taught special ed LLD for 34 years. You're right - writing is VAKT (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, tactice) and works neurologically. The auditory for me is reading what I've written to someone else and to God.

[@Connie10000]

Amen sister...me too

[@Liz-sc5dg]

Coming back from being disregulated, I have a long cry and snuggle with my cat, drink ice water, I have some really favorite episodes of Time Team UK that help me feel grounded then I can go for a walk and have some protein. It took me a long time to figure out what would help. I'm grateful for the crappy childhood fairy for guiding me through the muck.

[@cristinaevans139]

Ps singing really helps as a tool for me to reregulate and you don’t have to be good at it but slowly improving is so fulfilling ❤

[@platosbeard3476]

You probably know this, but singing, or humming, stimulates the vagus nerve, which leads to a relaxation response. Personally, I like to insert my pet's name into popular songs (I may be a bit weird 😅).

[@leahweinberger583]

Ooh...good to know

[@beccabean5770]

Wow, thank you for your honesty & vulnerability. A blessing 🤍

[@marc1391]

It is so helpful to hear you have the courage to tell us how you are still so affected by cPTSD so we can understand that even someone we admire and learn from is not immune to the setbacks we all face. It’s easy for me to assume that you have conquered all - and so reassuring to hear that it is ok to have a week long reaction to something like this and that there are things you and we can do to get out of it. Thanks for sharing your current struggles.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for hearing the message! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@nadyabrand4444]

This video came at the perfect time. Had the crappiest day filled with shame and humiliation and self pity which I rarely allow myself. I cried. Haven’t done that in months. Still need to cry some more and move on. Thanks sooo much. 💚

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank YOU so much for being here! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@ixizn]

First of all, I’m sorry you’ve been going through this, Anna. Thank you for sharing with us. I’ve been incredibly let down by doctors in the past year and have been so upset about it that it’s hard to function, like on top of my usually really bad C-PTSD symptoms. Came back here to get some comfort from someone I know will speak to my heart and put words to my experiences and emotions, and you never fail to do just that. Love to you dear human, I know we don’t know each other but your kindness has such an impact on many people’s lives. I hope you know that and it can brighten your bad days even if just a little bit! God bless you. 🤍🌻

[@robynmarler3839]

Strongly agree! X

[@lindsays2007]

It’s lovely how you put into words how she impacts you. Great compliments to her! I’m sorry the medical community is failing you. That’s tough and so disheartening at the very least. Hang in there!! 💙

[@ixizn]

@@lindsays2007 Thank you for the kind words! All the best to you 💛🌸

[@evanburke5460]

OMG I am so glad I found this tonight. This is my problem. CPTSD!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@bethtaylor9773]

I remember when I was at the lowest point of my life. I called my sponsor in AlAnon, but she was out of town, so i called my grandmother sponsor....who told me to go do something for somebody else. I thought, "You don't know what you're talking about!" But she did. I did what she told me - had to not get caught doing it - and it helped a great deal. I remember baking quadruple batches of cookies and taking them to the counter at AA - multiple times' when I was so angry....for people who were actually trying to get sober lol!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Good work!

[@bethtaylor9773]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Yes, it worked :)

[@pixieblue1916]

Thank you so much for doing what you do. My whole life I’ve always felt like no one truly understands me or my dysregulated states, even I didn’t understand them! Until now ❤ This is just an absolute blessing!

[@daniellecharming]

Thank you for sharing your personal experience

[@shawnasatchell8897]

Thank you for being human and honest . It’s so much better to listen and learn from someone that understands and also makes mistakes and I can relate too God Bless You Thank you 🙏 I will keep watching:)

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Please do! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@hayden9389]

When you desrcribe yourself as the crappy childhood fairy, it seems you truly are. I have spent the past 15 years effected by cPTSD and didn't even know. I stumbled upon your channel in a mid off-work-in-bed doing nothing wracking my brain for answers on why my relationships in my mid 20s have become deeply difficult. I understood i had issues with alcohol from having an alcoholic parent but never really knew this severe. It all makes sense now. I sit with a book you recommend 3 days after finding your channel. I sat this morning and mapped out my mind with post it notes on my wall and began to work it all out thanks to you. Deeply thankful for your work. You gave me a deep sense of inspiration at a time where i truly felt lost. Started to see a future today. again thankyou so much.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's wonderful, thank you for sharing and for giving yourself the gift of doing this important work! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@chilloften]

It’s so nice to hear from others about how to handle dysregulation. And that they nor others are out here being perfect. Thank you.

[@trusound170]

GAH! This was what I definitely needed around noon today! Only it wasn't anger but rather panic and anxiety. I was in a worry spiral! I had a panic attack and constant worry about half the day. This was decorated with internet searches on health problems, constantly checking my pulse (something I tend to do when anxious and panicked) pacing and water guzzling. I went off the rails like a legend. I always find these episodes to be followed by some serious neediness! In the past I have found my self reaching out to communicate with all the wrong people and regretting it later. I get to feeling like I need human contact, hugs, talks etc... but I have no source for these things from anyone close to me. So I end up messaging or texting people that I know will respond or that I hope will respond. If I'm not careful I will end up in a depression, But I give myself a gold star because I am learning how to recognize my dysregulated state and how to handle what I feel appropriately. I did a "panic flow chart". I have a lot of stickers, emojis and whatnot, and a plethora of colored ink pens. I use all the colors and place stickers or draw little images as needed in the chart. This seems to help me so much! I can't say I don't still feel needy or lonely after, but I have a much better grip after looking at my pattern and just drawing and writing it all out in this way. ((HUGS)) to you! I am so happy that you can go to your husband and just get heard when you need it! You deserve that kind of love! I hope you have a great week!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Hugs to you too! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@phorion11]

I relate so much to your comment, right down to the medical anxiety and pulse checking. I hope you're feeling better now, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone! 💜

[@trusound170]

@@phorion11 Thank you! I appreciate that!

[@susandelongis885]

Venting is the brain naturally looking for patterns when threatened. Noticing it moves us out of blind reaction toward problem solving and a conscious response. Anything to get us to even one rational thought can move us back to reality. Remembering even one thing that we learned from those past experiences can help us to resolve the present conflict. I hate regressing. But it’s natural. Keeping one learning from it like a mantra to remember quickly gets me out of it faster. Thanks for all the great ideas to help get there so we can move forward with less damage, especially when someone does want to harm us in some way. The present has something unsafe or we wouldn’t get triggered. Instead of unloading, we can use venting to identify it as quickly as possible. For me, the shock of feeling betrayed even a little keeps me stuck and is the type of threat I personally most need to work on. I’ve found the workplace often does have undermining people. Learning to accept and expect this is a real challenge for me, let alone how to cope well with it.

[@ancaprodan3685]

Another approach is just face them. The emotion is already there. Lean in and find the root, protect your child self and change the memory.

[@Jen.K]

Yes, this is what works for me. When I can let myself feel, and follow the feelings back into my past, I can usually find the core wound from my childhood. I was emotionally abused and neglected as a child, so I can easily become dysregulated as an adult, causing my nervous system to over react to the current situation.

[@aywancfc]

You are so incredibly relatable. Thanks so much for sharing your own struggles (I’m sorry you were treated that way, btw. I’ve been there before too!) and sharing how you were able to pull yourself out of it. I love the sharing kindness idea, I will try that the next time I am in a funk :) thank you ❤️

[@cookiesmom584]

Oh Fairy! Thank you for being real w/ us! It helps decrease my shame. I can’t believe the same exact thing happened to me on the same day only with our pool cleaner who had been cheating us all summer…. thus the black fungus. Once I started in I escalated quickly. Grateful for these tools to re-regulate. Shows me to LISTEN to my intuition because I knew something was up. I forgive myself for the (deserved)random annihilation but my cortisol levels are still suffering 1.5 days later.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

It is SO true that talking / venting over and over again to try to get it all out doesn't work! The first "round" maybe, but if you then start all over again, it's just re-living the trauma and you're stuck. Keeping on talking about it isn't going to change it. The story won't change or somehow become ok. I took FOREVER to realise this, and I still am known to over-vent. I'm sorry you had to deal with this traumatic situation. One good thing is that you have learned even more about yourself and how to cope, and you've put into action those steps to re-regulate yourself, and you're also able to share this much needed knowledge and feelings with all of us. I think I've said this before, but you are the most genuine, caring and helpful person I have ever "met" about complex trauma and emotional dysregulation, because you truly understand it. You've lived it. And hey, you don't have to be perfect to help us with these videos! ❤️

[@susannavancole2868]

Anna, the more I watch you, the more I love you; you are so genuine, honest, raw and vulnerable. With sincere appreciation and thanks to you, I finally believe that at 57, I have the chance to heal: You have lived my life; You've crawled, and walked, your way out of a cave covered in rocks AND snow !! You truly are a Crappy Childhood, and, Crappy Life ANGEL because you genuinely CARE ... Thank you so much; You're an Inspiration and a BLESSING🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Aw, thank you!

[@signaturelements]

One of the things I’m trying to really work on is not getting worked up on my partners behalf. Thank you for pointing out that it’s unhelpful especially when my partner is seeking to simply vent and then get back to a regulated state. I have some childhood issues for sure but this is something I only just started noticing thanks to his clear communications w me. Thank you for your content and especially this video being so raw and personal.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@goldenviolet]

Thank you for this video. Negative feedback is not easy to get. I have been in a bad neighborhood, and l don't do anything back to them. I do say things inside my house, but after ten years of hell from them it's all l do. I don't talk to them anymore because they are so sure they are right. I am tired of living under constant supervision from the this situation. It seems to trigger me, so l don't get stuff done.

[@goldenviolet]

Thank you for highlighting my comment. Whoever decided to do this experiment with me is not a good person or group of people. Because l am disabled and disrespected in my hometown, I feel so bad about my genetic disorder. I see my neighbors laughing at me. My local government officials have been hurrassing me too. Fining me and constantly sending thing to the wrong address. As a matter of fact there are laws that bar defrauding disabled people. When l talk to these people, it is like two different species cross talking. I understand their need for power over me. They let my stalker beat on me everyday for this past 10 to 12 years. Why was this allowed? Why wasn't l protected from him by the police? This has happened at a time when l haven't anyone to talk to or to reach out to. It just seems odd. But this happens everyday to women over a certain age. It shouldn't be allowed.l am doing the best l can when l am the center of a big fraud. Blessings to everyone.

[@maddi3582]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, but thank you for sharing and by doing so, making a negative into a positive, and really it's a positive that sows seeds by offering how we can grow through these challenging, disabling situations! And it really strikes home because I had my own 'situation' a few days ago: I was simply chasing the progress (3rd time of contact) of an incredibly important order and, after being given the run around again, the penny dropped and I realised that my good faith in the progress of the order was just bs. And here I was being chastised by him for following through on the timings he had told me! That powerless feeling of being coerced, blamed and manipulated was so disturbing and took me back to awful past times. But. I managed to write a letter - not to be sent, and have sat with it for a couple of days. Your video has given me support. Thank you! I understand I need to recentre, to disengage from his behaviour, stop 'othering' myself, and because I cannot cancel this order, I need to manage my expectations and keep myself safe. And tea always helps! Thank you Anna 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing, tea always does help :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@sarahdolliver2786]

That's what I'm missing, someone to offer comfort and listening especially during situations like this

[@pennyrobertson6118]

Thank you Anna 🙏 for sharing your truth. The best helpful advice for CPTSD I have found to date. At 60 years old, I still struggle with the embarrassment of deregulation & dissociation. I found your advice here so very beneficial & am so grateful 😊🙏💜

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome

[@viktoriavichkutkina9147]

How amazing she is! Thank you Anna for amazing topics and the way you begin every video without “hi, welcome back to my channel etc”, just straight to the point. And you are just so healing!!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for the feedback! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@TheFinalBathAmber]

I always wondered why I am the way I am before I found you. Now it all makes sense, and I am eternally grateful

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Knowledge really is power :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@cheryrobertson2735]

I'm like you, sometimes I try yelling etc (door slamming ) I cry when angry also. Yelling makes me feel terrible. I hate myself as I am acting out my anger. The story of bad things happening, feeling fearful & resentful, always brings a spell of being disregulated for too long such a set back for me. Nature time will sooth me and I find myself in the present.

[@AncientSouthwest]

Manic, but so important! I love your videos because you generally speak from a healed place, but I so appreciate this raw moment of set back in which you reaffirm how relevant your perspective is. Well done.

[@wheelchairgeek]

I got to a certain point in life where I had done all the self-development I could manage, tons of therapy and loads of spiritual self-reflection. Yet...I had one embarrassing area I was NOT making progress in. It felt embarassing. Then i prayed and prayed and prayed please help me find the help for this. It would be a sort of sudden lack of self-control in my usually calm, bubbly and christian personality. Then I 'found' you. And it really was the final piece in the puzzle. I'm 51 and so it's taking time but I can feel the difference. Thank you. It must take energy to produce these videos but it's making such a difference to so many therapy exhausted individuals who want to remain kind and good. Thank you ❤

[@catsmith7234]

Our Empaths sense of injustice is outraged. Thanks for the information on how to come down safely.

[@Hangingoutoverhere]

Thank you for posting. Things like this help me feel not alone.

[@sonorasenora5911]

I DON'T CRY...I CAN'T CRY...I WANT TO CRY...I NEED TO CRY...I FEEL MY HEART CRYING BUT CPTSD LOCKED THE DOOR TO THAT NATURAL WELL DECADES AGO...so unnatural...intangible ...very therapeutic...eludes 😞me

[@rebeccastatz9226]

Me tooo 😢

[@lorriredmon8212]

I recently found your channel and I'm listening to your very calming voice and feeling grateful that I now have your tools in my life. Suddenly I'm crying, not sure why yet but just really grateful. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. You're a gift.

[@deenadistefano352]

Hands down best video ever. Living successfully with CPTSD is all about coping skills. You laid out a total plan that works.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for the kind words. Grateful for your support, and that the plan is working for you. - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@juliemoore6957]

Saving this video to review when I am upset. So good!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@MinkasTNR]

Thank you, Beautiful Anna. This was so helpful. Thank you for sharing this with us. I didn't realize I gravitate to an old memory. I didn't realize this was part of it.

[@susanphend2189]

Thank you so much for your words. I have the issue of rerunning old hurts and dwelling on them. Will be learning about Pomodoros, too. ❤️

[@monislifemine]

Wow thank you so much for this video. I had to fill out some in depth paperwork for my Doctor and it involved a bit of sharing dates and just naming certain events that had to do with my trauma. As I was filling it out I became more and more overwhelmed and freaked out on my husband over nothing. I felt I had to run away (I was safe at home) I told my husband I'm leaving, I grabbed my purse, phone and got into the car, I backed out and realized there was nowhere to go to escape my feelings. My husbandand came out and wanted to know what was wrong. I had no idea how to put into words what I was feeling I simply couldn't talk. I wanted to cry but I am unable to. Not sure how to cry. Anyway your video helped me see I was disregulated. I eventually came in the house and told my husband I had been triggered. I am doing better in times past I would have left for a while wandering aimlessly. Thanks for what you do.

[@ahnaahna7278]

Discovering/listening to your channel is giving me hope that I can heal. I have been very sensitive in all environments all of my life(68 years). I have been in therapy in past and it helped some. Did other things too. But some recent experiences have shown me that I can now utilize some new healthy strategies. Thank you. I will re-listen and practice.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're finding hope again. Sending you encouragement! - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@jen-dy6tm]

Im glad you got back out of that state. And very glad you shared that with the rest of us. Ive just had one of those life-alteringly bad days too, and had to use all of those steps - ALL of them - to get regulated again.

[@trelkel3805]

You have to re-frame it in your head being rational and compassionate and later when you have forgotten that and re-live it do it again, don't let the negative spiral start up again

[@melissap7790]

This was incredibly helpful. Thank you for being open honest and vulnerable. I have gained so much value and healing from your channel particularly on how to regulate and take better care of my emotions and triggers. Hope things continue resolve peacefully for you. I'll be revisiting this session again. x

[@quietreflections18]

Thank you, Crappy Childhood Fairy! I really appreciate you making this video and sharing your personal experience! and advice in this regard I'm not sure how I missed this video when it was published, but I found it at the perfect time! Fortunately, I normally stay pretty well regulated these days and I was so surprised when I found myself completely dysregulated due to a confrontation with a stranger in the laundry room of the building where I currently live, this past weekend. I was so surprised to find myself 'yelling' and engaging with this individual, and then having to deal with the fallout. It was just so 'unlike' me. lol This video really helps. Thanks so much! Lots of Love, Jaden XXXOOOO

[@MsWillowish]

My gosh you are wonderful. I love your authenticity - to me you’re a standout in the virtual community. A v similar experience of feeling dysregulated myself through an event last week. A betrayal. Yes all that icky stuff comes up. Good to know your tips. Thank you so much. X

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for being here! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@jimwilkey7294]

You are an absolute Doll always being vulnerable and open with your struggles that help us ALL! Big Love 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much for the kind words. Jack@TeamFairy

[@pureawakening1048]

This woman is PURE GOLD ❤❤❤

[@vickisorenson7795]

Thank you, Thank you for being willing to share your experience. I got dysregulated this week and wanted to die. There was a terrible thought going through my mind that I am so horrible that I shouldn't live anymore. To be clear, I would never take my own life and cause pain to those I love, but I was in such pain. Anyway, I realized I was dysregulated and so have done what I know to do including getting another perspective by watching mental health and CTSD videos. It helps to know I'm not alone and to get confirmation and new techniques. Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad this video helped, we all need a bit of a reality check sometimes :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@nycrawgirl]

This was such a great video. I relate to what you said so much. I flip out on people and feel terrible afterward even when they "deserved" it. I'll try these techniques.

[@cindymcclanahan2639]

I’ve been wondering all my life what is wrong with me. I feel so intense and raw all the time. My brain kept remaining in past trauma and I didn’t know what to do. And I didn’t want to be stuck in the past. Your talk on disregulation is just what I needed to learn. My body has responded to my state of trauma and has been in a constant state of stress. I know what is going on. I’m not crazy. You have a gift of insight to people with PTSD. I have hope! I look forward to watching your other videos. Bless you! I’m a parched person looking for water. You have given me water.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@akankshasingh6471]

Thank you so much for sharing this! It helps me see and connect how I feel when I am dysregulated and how I react and then finding the steps to reregulate again. This really helps!!

[@catgrl76]

Thanks for sharing your story. I too can go to a dark place when things blow up and it's so hard to see the way out. The playback loop from Hell goes around and around in the brain and nothing good comes of it. I like the idea of paying it forward to transmute the negative juju. Certainly will put that into practice 🙏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@joelthomastr]

Wow, you turned your own experience into a vignette! It must have taken some bravery to be so vulnerable with us. But as much as what you usually do is immensely helpful, this is next level.

[@karen_ellen]

I feel that process. I pretty much lost it today. What you said resounded loudly with me! Some of your thoughts at the end were good thoughts that can really flip the script. Thank you so much. I think I feel like you're the only human who gets the way I feel today from the inside. I'm now at the crash and burn state. I'll finish supper and do a craft and self soothe and restore some of that rational mind. I've been watching a lot of your emotional regulation and dysregulation videos. It's helping me a lot to give words and concepts to things I have been feeling lately and for a long time. Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it resonated, thanks for sharing. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@MsScottynz]

Thank you so much for sharing this Anna. Your story is very relatable, about losing your temper due to a feeling of injustice, all the old inner voices pop up again.

[@SN-sz7kw]

This was so helpful. I had these episodes for much of my later life. Had no idea the role trauma and dysregulation were playing. I just felt rage & shame, & terribly ineffective all around. Thank you for your transparency. 💗💗💗

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad the video was helpful! Thanks for listening :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@babaganouche9605]

Honestly... I feel a bit relieved that I am not the only one who just "loses" it sometimes. We are trying, but some people really do stretch all the patience we have

[@fitnessdestiny]

I just have to say again how much of a miracle it has been to be able to connect with your content in in a deeply felt way. My heart can feel the compassion in your words so deeply that it feels like a completely fulfilling human experience. ✨ Just to touch upon doing something kind for people. I am one of those people (and I would imagine this will resonate with some others) that appreciate the gift of being able to give kind acts for others because it is meaningful to me that I can express a form of value toward others. I don’t really know whether or not it makes me a good person. I just know that I feel deep gratitude when I am in the space to give to others. It is not about wanting to view myself in a better light, but appreciating the ability to express the value I see in another persons light. I think that’s maybe why my kindness can’t be exploited very easily though… I’m not into acts of kindness that create a leveraging system to exploit, and if I am not in the space to do some thing I won’t. Until you can stand in the power of ‘no”- you’re ‘yes’ doesn’t matter🤔

[@Cat54867]

Just a few minutes into this….omg I adore your honesty.

[@Cat54867]

Your experience and explanations are valuable in a hundred ways.

[@noprobllama9747]

Thank you for this video. I will use the techniques to try and alter my mood state. I recently stressed over an injustice that a was done to my dance teacher. They were fired with no reasons given. The decision from management had apparently been discussed and voted on months ago. They dismissed the teacher of 18 years under false allegations and without any mediation or recourse. They didn't even tell them face to face. As the teacher was a sole trader and not an employee apparently they could simply be served a months notice and let go. Such disrespect for so many years of service. I couldn't stop the horrible thoughts of injustice from whirling in my mind. It took almost 3 days for this feeling to subside. Even when doing mundane things to vent off the thoughts, discussions and emotions in my head would be so overbearing. I felt so helpless. For me it also brings up past events and negative thoughts which spur my mind into a spiral of depression. I wanted to do something positive and break out of the mood but simply couldn't stop my mind from racing. The helping others therapy seems to stand out the most in your video. I'll try that. Again thank you.

[@carmenhernandez-es3hq]

Today is one of those days, I had a ptsd moment last night and once I get home I’ll release and write. Thank you 😊

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's incredible. Beautiful awareness about what's happening, and wonderful that you're taking steps to release it. Sending you encouragement. - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@MyMonkeyMind7]

This video is helpful to me, for many reasons! Thank-you! One is the idea of being an 'agent of good', which gives me a perspective on spiritual health, without referring to a religion.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@rinnswimmer]

I’m baffled by how many of these videos I relate so directly to. I don’t have any serious trauma in my life but I do have ADD (which is known to be connected to emotional dysregulation) and definitely some emotional neglect issues from childhood. Therapists never seem to have picked up on these things for me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad the content is helpful to you :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Heyu7her3]

You should find a therapist that is trained/ has worked with ADHD adults. Emotional dysregulation isn't formally classified as a symptom of ADHD, so it can go ignored by people who don't know to address it.

[@MsBettyRubble]

So sorry you had to go through this, Anna. I've been in very similar situations. A mentor helped me by letting me know that if a service provider of any kind ever insults, belittles, or shames me, it's time to end the relationship with that provider. I hope you don't have to go through this again.

[@kathyingram3061]

~I had a really similar situation & i could not get angry cuz i didnt know if id be able to find someone else to finish the project~It felt good to manage to stay calm & handle it diplomatically~

[@sixthsenseamelia4695]

So laid back, almost fall over backwards. Sometimes, I don't get as angry as I aught to in nessecary situations. Have only lost my sh¡t once. Scared myself. Not doing that again.

[@rturney6376]

This is a video that some people can use every day if needed.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Agreed! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@eminayiden]

This was so lovely, thank you for sharing ❤️

[@kristy5599]

I like the random acts of kindness idea, and have done this on and off in my life...I struggle with the tendency to compulsively people please and constantly seek validation through pleasing others. I think doing them 100% annoymously helps with that tendency.

[@oc2538]

Thanks, I never heard anyone else explain how I experience things and then the need to retell the story. It's so beautiful how you speak about your sons. I dwell esp with the in-laws and blowups. My desire is to go no contact because without them around things are better. But then guilt and shame having to make that call.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Times like these are where Anna's tools make a big difference :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@pamelatoombs4150]

Me too!! I cry & get emotional when I'm disregulated. I wish I had it because my poor friend didnt know how to handle me😔🕊 thank you Anna.

[@tamarakonczal6350]

This is one of the best videos I have seen by you. Thank you.

[@LillyJeanne]

Thnak you for sharing this experience. I have been very stressed for multiple days now and cannot do my work and other tasks how I would want me to get things done, leaving me very frustrated. This was a good reminder, that sometimes it's just like that and we need a few days to get back on track - and that's ok.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@insightandintuition276]

Love that you share your challenges open and honestly. My understanding of emotional dysregulation is an inability to accept our emotional response. Denial can lead to Compulsive behaviors first thing I ask myself is what I have been eating in the past 72 hours I find I cannot tolerate even the smallest deviation from a whole food plant-based diet. If I mess with refined sugars flours artificial sweeteners Etc and definitely affects my emotions Thanks for sharing your experience strength and Hope🤗

[@SweetUniverse]

Someone angry, yelling, etc., doesn't bother me at all because my mother was like that 24/7. I never knew when she was going to fly off in a rage - and also have someone yelling at me & calling me names. That doesn't bother me at all & is good in a way but is also kind of sad.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

It is a bit sad, but you are where you are :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@keithpurtell1213]

That thing with the anger-driven Story being hypnotic is true. As a male, I grew up with societal cues telling me I should solve problems with anger. Think about all those movies where guys go in with guns blazing; a symbolic message. In the thick of an angry moment, my brain will prod me to keep going, saying this is about overcoming injustice. It doesn't matter if the person I'm angry with is 100 miles away, I just keep raising my blood pressure and damaging my health. Thank you for exploring this.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your perspective! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@rhondacosta160]

YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW MUCH I NEEDED ...THIS. Thank you Ana. It's also a big month astrologically and there's sooo much heaviness going on and it's all kicking my butt. Yesterday was a total shut down day. And you're right I'm not proud of the behavior that others insight and you go there. It happens. 👹🙈🙉🙊