Emotional Neglect and the Lure of Unavailable People (4-Video Compilation)

[@daveplanett]

I recently found your channel and I’m equally amazed and grateful for the quality content you are providing thank you for everything you do 🙏🏻

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@desperate1982]

Bookmarking 😮 why have I never heard that when this has happened to me with my ex

[@KeN-mq6pp]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy🎉😂😂😂😂😂u😂😂😂🎉🎉😂😂🎉😂🎉😂😂😂😂

[@Catsandnature-1234]

she is the best

[@lindsey2930]

This is a documentary of my life!!! I connect with much of what is expressed in these letters. I am new to this channel and in 2 days of listening to multiple videos I have felt progress in myself ( I realize this could sound crazy to a new person her reading comments) I would judge the same. If you are someone who is skeptical, yet desperate for understanding in how trauma has manipulated and/or created reality for your life, I CAN guarantee YOU will find comfort in this channel... Listen to variety and read comments. That's what I have done the past couple days. I appreciate this channel and everyone who is also struggling with CPTSD😌

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for being a part of our community here. We appreciate you too! Nika@TeamFairy

[@Mary-1000]

Yes I'm taking a deep dive as well. I'm a new person and can't believe how my experiences parallel those in the letters. After five months I hope you are doing MUCH better. ❤

[@yasminhabibti721]

He ain't tired! He's married and NOT to his job! And, he's a liar! Norah, throw the trash out because you deserve your space be clean.

[@youtube_username_]

Norah's guy is most likely married. The fact that she's not impressed by him claiming he's seeing a therapist now is great - good for her! She's not letting him string her along anymore. Anna Runkle's advice is spot on.

[@annebos4634]

That therapist visit may also be a lie

[@missmelis4938]

Agreed. He treats her like a sex worker.

[@nerdyrebel1050]

Once identified, dealing with limerence takes a lot of self discipline. The feelings don't go away unless you sever that tie.

[@Golf2foto]

100%

[@elizabethoneill9572]

This is me, I was a "beggar for love" any little bit of kindness fed me for weeks. Be kind to others, it might save their lives...

[@OsbornFamily-n6i]

The way you said this really resonated with me. I am hungry for kindness.

[@retrorenegade1967]

🥲❤️

[@Mimimia306]

Norah, regardless of why he is unavailable, he just is. It sounds like you are ready to move on. Best wishes to you in getting out of a situation that does not give you the full relationship that you want and deserve. Be strong and don't settle for crumbs!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for sharing your encouragement for the letter-writer! Nika@TeamFairy

[@JauntyCrepe]

Just a note to that one letter: if your romantic interest is your therapist, THEY ARE NOT A GOOD IDEA. They are directly breaking their code of ethics if they are entertaining that. ABORT ABORT

[@ND-or5so]

That's not the only reason why.

[@JauntyCrepe]

@@ND-or5so well yeah it’s a crazy unbalanced power dynamic. But someone willing to risk their license and disregard their ethical principals is just one of many reasons to not get involved

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

If he is married to either another person and or his job... Highly unlikely that he will ever change... I think for her better no relationship than a bad one...

[@Ydce1891]

This is spot on ❤

[@taghazoutmoon5031]

He became better. I became worse because of the relationship. So draining. Once I started to fight back, he blamed me for his issues.

[@Adecia-v8j]

Same story as me My mother was the drinker tho

[@Ydce1891]

It’s so comforting to hear that others are unsure if they want a relationship or marriage. Not that I want anyone else to feel that way but it makes me feel like this is common for cptsd and it’s not just something wrong with me 😅

[@roxannsanchez6536]

My question is- did she talk to anyone -friend- 😅about this relationship? Anyone who hears this.... no holidays and 1 x a week visits and being strung along all are clear signs hes got someone. Her body knew, emotions and healthwise, but her mind didn't want to accept it. Trust yourself and ask the hard questions. You must not diminish yourself in any relationship!

[@gabriellegreen2647]

I get a kick out of your company name. Crappy Childhood Fairy. I think that’s what drew me to this channel. I knew awhile ago that traditional therapy was not the type of help I needed to heal. I was looking for and needed something different. I knew just talking about it wasn’t going to help when I didn’t know the root cause or where my trauma stemmed from. This is the first time where I have felt completely comfortable with my trauma and it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone. It also helps that you have experienced similar situations and understand trauma. It helps to know that someone has been through what you been through. So when I found you i said thank you god, finally someone who understands and gets it. The stories you have shared, the wealth of knowledge and resources you have provided has helped me tremendously. I really like that you read letters people send to you and break them down. This is a really great exercise and I’ve been incredibly touched by the stories you have shared. Thank you. ❤

[@stephanied9629]

Whoa. Norah, honey, he is married. 4 years and nothing is different? He’s married.

[@jeanieshank1433]

I never wanted marriage until I went to coda. True healing. Facing my Limerent issues and my past traumas. I couldn’t define me or what I wanted. I’m working on it now.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

What is coda?

[@tinag9694]

Codependents Anonymous. It's a 12 step program. It's great. They have a lot of virtual mtgs and some in person depending where you are.

[@blackeneddove]

@@tinag9694thank you for this. I think this is worth looking into and may help me.

[@bernadetteb176]

What i have come to realize is if you are a child of someone who has had terrible neglect and trauma. They blue print all their coping skills onto you which then the parents rail against your reactions and behaviors. Best thing I have done is spend my life always wondering and trying to understand my behavior and confronting some of the more painful things i have done . Trying to be a better person. Understanding childhood trauma . The best part of all the work is the volume turns way down and the more I have begun to understand what is really mine and what is other people and their stuff. A very individual journey . I really hope this dear woman finds her peace and when she does things will feel better ....get better and may she have a full and lovely second half of her life .

[@wendybarker5118]

Bad partners approach eveeyone. It is not that we attract them, we say yes to them. There is a difference.

[@JuiciferPandoraRex]

as a woman who grew up as a fatherless girl, ill admit that in my 20s (and a little bit in my 30s).... there was NOTHING more attractive on a man than a wedding ring. i would convince myself that i was actually happier being "the other woman" than being someones gf or wife. it was like being an aunt vs being a mom. you get to do the fun stuff (dates, adventurous sex, etc) without any of the responsibilities (bills, kids, chores, etc). get em all sugared up, then send em home. after a number of those "relationships", i started to realize that it felt shitty to not be considered worthy enough to keep around, to meet their parents, to pay bills and have kids with. not to mention feeling like a real piece of garbage for contributing to the harm being done to these men's wives and families. looking back, i was always hoping, deep down, that they would eventually choose me. at 42, im still not emotionally healed enough to have a healthy relationship. but im no longer unhealthy in that particular way. so at least thats progress, i suppose.

[@Stumpybear7640]

Good for you for have the wamanity to admit how you have lived and its affect on the women of your lovers. I hope you progress from here and get to love yourself properly ❤

[@roseofsharonhinson]

I am a survivor of child abuse. I cry often. My entire childhood was full of physical abuse. Presently in therapy. Its not easy. But im alive. When i was a kid. I never thought i would make past 8 years old. But im here.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Good luck on your healing journey! If you're interested, try Daily Practice. It is a great way to process fears and resentment. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

[@roseofsharonhinson]

Thank you

[@littlewoodchopper2659]

I suffer with bipolar and cptsd. Trying to educate myself on both. Everything I hear is so hopeless. Thank God for your videos. Only ones to seem to offer hope

[@Adecia-v8j]

Hey were twins!!! ❤😂

[@Charlie23007]

I really like what you said about not playing small but becoming ourselves and using our talents to help others! That is a very helpful comment! Thank-you for all your advice and good council! 😊

[@erinkessler1475]

Hallelujah! Thank you for saying that monogamy is a good thing and validating my beliefs on that. I’m so tired of encountering poly, ENM, and “open relationships” in the dating world. They sound like excuses to me not to make an effort and not to commit.

[@FreeQueen-md7zm]

ENM? plz define, thnx.

[@missmelis4938]

Agreed. Open relationships give space for people to avoid being truly vulnerable.

[@keriwebster9117]

@@FreeQueen-md7zm Ethical non monogamy

[@Avaaaw]

These people try to project their insecurities and vice onto society. That’s a no no. You either commit or you don’t and you leave people alone.

[@carly8056]

I love how just by the magic of saying the word “ethical” in front of non-monogamy, somehow instantly makes it so, right? 🙄

[@ajvs2054]

Anna is just an Angel for sending out her healing, strong messages! Thanks a lot to her and her Team! ❤❤❤

[@KatErina-ii6ru]

This guy is married come on!! He’s hiding his life from her and his wife. If a man won’t spend the night with you or go on a trip with you or share his life with you, leave him alone 😢😢😢

[@Christinacatalano]

I wish this weren’t a probable outcome. But i agree.

[@pmcdonald8219]

That didn't occur to me until Anna said it. But, yes, it makes sense.

[@carolnahigian9518]

exactly..

[@wendylee7242]

He's married,or living with someone...

[@SZ-vk4te]

Exactly my thoughts ! 😢

[@pippa8410]

In a previous relationship I was a secret to his friends and family. Staying in that situation really does a number on one’s self esteem. He was separated and going through a divorce and although they had been living separately for years, he was worried about what others thought of him dating. To top it off his ex and him also kept putting off their divorce. I was upset and he could never muster the empathy to understand my negative emotions around this. I focused on being a secret and blamed myself. I became very insecure over anything and everything. When really it was about his own low self esteem (needing approval from his friends and family) and his unwillingness to completely end things with his wife. I’ve healed enough from that to know to not stay in this kind of situation and also to not take on others problems and make it something about me. I feel good about myself and dating good men without messy situations. It’s been a freeing and fun experience that I’m allowing myself to have!

[@lauriemorales7605]

I was starved for love and food 😢

[@a7744ry]

For me the first video hit home, especially when I first watched it a few years back. I had gone out of an abusive marriage, and after a few years have been in similar situations with dating, only that had lasted around 6 months. I guess I was not paying attention to any other red flags as long as the guy wasn't abusive. Didn't spend holidays or much time with me- no problem, I pretended I don't have any needs. This is all so very sad for me now. It's so sad also that Nora spent 4 years in a crappy relationship..I hope her life has changed for the better

[@candidawojcik6356]

I was with held love from my mother.She was emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive. It was not just mentally an issue but physically also> When I was 15 I started having severe anxiety attacks to the point of passing out. I am 47 now and I don't have them as much but still occasionally do when things get a little too emotionally tough. It's a very scary place to be but hopeful things will get better,

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

Unavailable, is a word that I have often used to describe my mom.

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

So much heartbreak in my life that I have given up on love...

[@Ballpython77]

i know the feeling. same thing as me. I married a Covert and i'm in a battle for divorce. 15 years as if it meant F ALL. I even saved her life in a accident few years ago...meant nothing. single for life even if a crave affection and love constantly. I was never loved in 46 years, family, parents narcs. ex's all had narcs behaviour. I have a magnet for them staying single is the only sure way i'll never get abuse and manipulated again. I loathe being a empath, it always got me manipulated. I love women but women hates me.

[@dennyfie]

​@@Ballpython77I was only manipulated once it was awful,to add insult I knew her from high school 46 yrs ago.she screwed me over on purpose,that is what hurt the most. No more relationships for me, I hate deceit and she knew it, I have never dis- liked anyone as much as her.evil...

[@wendylee7242]

I feel invisible, I feel like I've missed my season for having a loving relationship...

[@Stumpybear7640]

Love the person in the mirror, guys! That's where it all starts x

[@turner2952]

The best thing that anyone can do is focus on their job/financial health. Once someone is financially/job secure in themselves, then outside relationships will be easier to navigate. We should take care of our own needs first. Food, clothing, shelter. It all takes a good income coming in each month.

[@youtube_username_]

Yes, it's fundamental. If you become financially dependent upon a romantic partner you'll be in a very precarious situation.

[@rianna2434]

I felt the same way for so many years. I was able to climb the corporate ladder and became a workaholic. The office became my safe place to avoid my crappy life with a narcissistic husband. Looking back, I should have used some of the money I earned to take care of my mental state. To take care of myself. If only...Today I'm trying to rebuild my life and I am very grateful I found this channel. Thank you for this channel. I feel safe here and learning a lot.

[@amelittaberretta9109]

Yes, thus I often reached out to the wrong people, sadly! For morsels of love!

[@debbievoss3496]

A person who makes you happy. So far, that has only been fulfilled by a puppy long ago.

[@FigureOnAStick]

Bookmarking 1:00:00. So that's what the randomly flirting very hard one night and then brushing it off as just having fun was for. Here I had been thinking she actually liked me...

[@pilzelfe]

thank you for this comment 😭😭 i watched this video a couple days ago and forgot what this was called, i scrolled through the comments for like 10 mins hoping someone would comment on it

[@kate_kate_kate]

Sometimes it's not even bookmarking. Girls sometimes flirt for entertainment, boost to self esteem, validation. Bookmarking is like you have a possibility with her someday when she's drunk or sad. Aimless flirting is you have zero chances, she wouldn't even remember she flirted with you.

[@fluora]

Thank you, this was eye-opening! (I almost typoed I-opening:)

[@ND-or5so]

Omg! This already sounds like my relationship with my passive-aggressive covert narcissistic husband. He was totally unavailable even when he was at home with me every night. He neglects, ignores, and disrespects me, every day there is some kind of abuse. He abused mentally, emotionally and psychologically, and financially. Gas lighting, head games and totally manipulated me any chance got and he is a pathological liar, he has no empathy whatsoever and no self awareness, emotionally immature, lazy, not supportive and no appreciation for all I did for him and how I carried the whole relationship including his half. All the things that I didn't and wouldn't want in a man. These are not qualities at all that build a healthy, loving, solid marriage. 9 years of abuse and a waste of time for me. I left him. I'm trying to heal now, and it's a tough road.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You made a good decision. Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

[@faith-o8w3j]

"Bookmarking" great new term i learned

[@georgeallen8781]

The piece on Vivienne's letter is so spot on, I'm so glad you didn't hold back. I really feel for her, but it's time to start caring about how her actions can hurt others.

[@Adecia-v8j]

Identical 2 my childhood but it was the mother that had addictions My partner and I have bn 2gether 3 years... no emotional support and he gaslights and judges my depression as to say Im unemployable/useless Why do I stay We dont have children 2gether so why do i keep trying 2 make him happy... Not that he says thank you ever

[@Gita111]

Anna you are truly saving people🌺👏🏻👏🏻

[@DenardPatterson-re4ym]

Preach!!! preacher!!

[@vividdreams7072]

This was enlightening for me. Am in therapy for third time dealing with stuff like this. So thank you , to the women who wrote in and for wonderful response. This channel is awesome and deeply meaningful ❤

[@saralackey3435]

How can you have a "relationship" with someone who you only see once a week? Not spending holidays, weekend or overnights is a huge red flag! If this guy really wants to be with you he would make the time.

[@Amira-eq1fg]

TIRED 😂 THIS GUY IS MARRIED AND HAS HAD A 4 YEAR AFFAIR WITH YOU DEAR. RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@lauriemorales7605]

It is so draining!! I can relate

[@johannakuhlin4787]

I've come to terms with the fact that shit went side ways and I watch your videos nodding. I can see every red flag and every mistake but I can't see or find the energy to move in any direction.. it's like I'm stuck in between enlightenment and "is it worth it to keep on"..?

[@joan5051]

I have been watching you for about a month Anne. Awesome teaching. I have tried so many times to do the daily practice it’s not easily accessible

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You may be interested in the Daily Practice calls. During the calls, you can ask Anna (or other CCF coaches) questions about the practice. If you're interested, please contact our customer service team at [e-mail] and they will share with you a link to the Daily Practice call calendar: Nika@TeamFairy

[@kristamonae]

I had a similar situation with a man who was not married . He worked two jobs. He never slept because he worked so much when we would get together he would just sleep. Found out he’s homeless sleeps in his car and gets his mail sent to his moms . Smh

[@khadijati2205]

Your voice is so beautiful and what you say helps me, thank you ❤

[@aro40]

1:00 bookmarking several times dents confidence.

[@melanieloring5049]

Thank you ❤

[@AfuaYmani]

I love your videos and your hair looks so good. Those layers are layering, lol. One day I will write to you about my situation. I need some insight

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

It does work Does it for a week and feel less fear

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

For 2 weeks I do the dayli practice Between 1 time and more and more 2 times a day, with 15min meditation. I began with 3 days, the way you teach it, too try, after having made it with your guidnes and felt a difference after that first time 🙏🤔👍 The difference was Amazing.😄😙 I have C-PTSD 🤯 and lived in fear and stress most of the time since I'm 15 ( now 53 ) and it worked !!! But twice a day 20 min meditation was too much. I decided to stick to 10 min ones a day, no matters what happens and made a comitment with my self to never stop this practice, for all my life. For me your daily practice is what makes the reste possible, without I'm scared that the c-PTSD will gane power over me, slowly down and down.... I feel it in my guts and trust your experince. It is hard work too integrat some thing new in my life and I'm tired to loos the benefits because I stop meditation as I felt better and Wanted to meet poeaple, thinking that's what I need. Human support ! Thank you too help me see the priority and help me stay fucust. I use multiples health approches. But I'm new here on KZbin. Since I discuvered that there was the informations I need, I watch different KZbinurs. What I like, is that I choose who I lissen to and keep those I feel trustfull. It is easy, because I say yes with all my body while lissening 🙏💕💕 I reconaze my story and my pains describe by poeaple who don't know me. I was desesperate, I worked hard on me but, even I did improove, the chronic fatigue, fear, stress, emotional flash back, no understending support, no friends ( I'm weird, smell stress, fear and ask questions all the time... No one wanted to tell me... Now I prefer too get those from you, said in a soft and empathic way. I can understand them better now and learn to behave. With my KZbinrs therapists groupe I get the help I need. With chronic fatigue I have too take it slow and give me the time I need to build a good understending. For that I immerge intoo good thoughts, questions, explanations, mirror effect and much Moore. It helps me to see reality at it IS. And I writte more often, moove a litel bit more. Juste with the Fary ❤️ daily practice I change and use those too add an other helpful action, that flow toogether... And One thing leed too an other change.... Like that way, baby Steps 👍💯🤘💪 I heard your story and don't want to get back too illness.... I had enough of those 😥

[@Loesjewes]

"I want someone who at least wears shoes 😂". I laughed so hard haha. And also cried a little because it almost felt like it was my experience you responded to. Not gonna play small anymore. Thank you! And my heart goes uot to all of you and wish you lots of love ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@throttle4593]

I learned about the wire monkey when I was a psych major, and my reaction was similar to yours. Pavlov's dogs was another one that was horrifying. It makes me sick that researchers are so cruel sometimes.

[@Augfordpdoggie]

there s nothing cruel about pavlov, also, the way humans treat each other is far worse

[@i.ehrenfest349]

@@AugfordpdoggiePavlov I don’t know, but if you aren’t bothered by the Harlow experiments on the monkeys, something’s happened to your heart…

[@Koozomec]

The elephant in the room is she was not emotionaly available during those years. The time and oportunities lost...

[@grimnproper1492]

"Name it to tame it" 👍!!

[@deidrapowell8762]

Sounds like he is married

[@2rythm797]

Last year I decided to ghost... yes.. ghost... 4 people who I think trying to get inappropriate. I felt bad for ghosting but somehow the only way for me to feel safe was to ghost them. So I did not give them any response. I feel like, you are giving me the confirmation that I've done what needed to get done. Thanks Fairy!!

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

Lack of energy is the worst for me 😢😢😢

[@sashaclark4626]

Eroticized feelings of longing, wow you put into words what I have been feeling. I have a next door neighbor I see and talk to everyday. I have known him for 2 yrs now and we are very very good friends. Something shifted in our relationship about 3 -4 months ago and I developed very strong feelings for him. Before I had absolutely no romantic feelings for him and all of a sudden I cant stop thinking about him 24/7 and the fantasies. I told him I thought I was starting to have feelings for him and he told me he didnt think he could ever love anyone except his girlfriend of 25 yrs who passed 2 1/2 yrs ago. I will not go into all the details he has told me about her but I can tell they had a trauma bond for sure. He asked her to marry him after 1 yr and she said no and do not ever ask me again. He told me they broke up and got back together countless times until she actually married someone else. Lasted only a short time and she came back again. He took her back but for the last 10yrs they were "only" friends. They had everything but the sleeping together, and I believe him knowing him like I do. His mother was horrible to him growing up so all this is not a surprise. He is not moving and neither am I and it has been very painful having these feelings. I have tried convincing myself to not have feelings for him. We are older and I want to go back to being just companions. I stopped dating and having any kind of relationships for almost 20yrs and this is the first time in a long time. It snuck up on me and I was not expecting it. I knew my picker was off, I always picked unavailable men. The issue was I identified the problem but did nothing to fix it. I have to tell you I have only been using the Dailey Practice for a couple of days but it has made a HUGE difference! I noticed after the first time. I do not feel as crazy and I can focus better. The eroticized feelings of longing are almost gone. I know I have enough of my own issues and I do not need a project. Thank you!

[@CuriousChristy]

1:00:00 So glad you are telling her!

[@suecordova5264]

I could definitely hear in Anna’s voice and body language completely changed on the second girl. It was definitely personal for her. I’ve been listening and watching you for 5-6 days now and this is the first video that I’ve heard and seen Anna come out the gate like that at the young girl. It was a bit harsh. While I know sometimes we need tough love, I think this one really got to you. Remember this poor girl is trying to learn and understand what is happening. I’m glad you settled down but she really didn’t need that. Just like the rest of us, she is here for understanding and love. The one reason I like listening to you is because you are a helpful hand and aren’t harsh. I’ve seen others KZbinr’s with similar setup with reading letters, and they do what you did to this young girl. Please understand she is just trying to understand and while I understand you have trauma surrounding cheating men and younger women, this girl isn’t trying to be proud. She is here realizing she needs help. I hope this isn’t going to be the trend moving forward whenever older men and younger women come up in other episodes. We are all here for a reason, and we all start somewhere. I guarantee she’s already feeling awful and has beaten herself up already. Clearly this is a topic that has a lot of trauma for Anna. Other than that one letter, the information has been good. I hope you continue to heal. I appreciate you help and information.

[@ninastafford195]

I would like to suggest Celebrate Recovery as a great 12 step program.

[@noremac0123456789]

Absolute book marking…this guy is using this young girl to pump up his ego.

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

So mooved by your story 😢😢😢😢 thank you for sharing ❤❤❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing these kind words :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@carolnahigian9518]

Losing friends, opportunities due to NEEDINESS! GLAD I hot help and went No Contact with FAMILY BULLIES!!💜💟💜

[@one-step-at-a-time-curiosity]

Maybe she's with my husband. He sounds like him, "always needs to rest."

[@IndigestionMaster]

To the third person, I ended up in a situation like this! Not with an older man, and he was single at the time (when we dated) - But we always talked Too Much when he wasn’t single, and looking back, I really hurt his last ex girlfriend. I’ve since had to work very hard to recognize my role in that, and what I did wrong, and how I was selfish. That said, I understand how you feel, I seriously do. He made me feel attended to and cared for, but obviously, he wasn’t very faithful to his partners and when we did date, it turned into the first caller’s situation. I hope you find someone better- and trust me- it’s not worth it! You can do better.

[@desperate1982]

If he works so much, where's the money then? 😆

[@HootieOwl]

My childhood was like Nora, exactly 💯 except it was mother was a chronic alcoholic. Had 4 brothers. She was emotionally always unavailable. I need your guidance so badly. Keep picking unavailable men. SO I'm learning so much. GET NOTHING FROM my relationship. BIG 0. My name is Elle. Thank you

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

❤❤ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SHARE 😮 learn so much about my self Thank you for this Amazing CPTSD COMMUNITY My Catt show his support and when I ame not HERE he doesn't like it and does keep distance, but still observe me ❤️❤️❤️ Right now Zen 😺 is on me 👍💯❤️💪🤘

[@TSis76]

Thank ypu, Anna!

[@ez2u1]

Thank you

[@dawnhultgren983]

I was listening to this as I was cleaning my house, and something that was said was so striking that I had to stop and respond. In the letter where the young girl is luminous of the person that is 2x her age and in his 40's it was mentioned that because he older he is more "emotionally mature" I strongly disagree and tell you he is not emotionally mature, and probably still emotionally a child. Emotionally mature men attract and pursue women of the same age. This is my guess, but he probably married young (age, and emotional), and though he has grown in age, he never actually emotionally aged (matured). It also sounds like he is testing the waters to see if he can get what he wants, and how you would react. From the description my "cheater red flag" is screaming.

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

I struggel with relationships. I have no close friends..... Because I feel attraction for what is familiar too me. I don't date befor I have a better insight, knowledge and capacity to found the Right People too be with as friends..... And I have a discipline too build, in order too become my BESTY... GRATFUL FOR YOUR GUIDENS ❤️❤️ I had many questions I have an answer for NOW ! Like Light in the Dark 🙏🌞

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We're all rooting for you! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@amelittaberretta9109]

I have lived alone for 40 years alone, not the best, nor the worst looking woman. Years ago, I lived in “a hope” I fear that I have been living in a “make believe world”. The years are gone, and now am I waking up? Rather late.

[@Mary-1000]

It's hard for me to wrap my mind around going to 12 step meetings as alcoholics and drug addicts are highly triggering for me. I've actually tried and I was a mess......never went back.

[@Pure-Pisces]

At 56....I'm too scared of another dysfunctional/painful relationship....due to my CPTSD & choices I make & accept....a healthy relationship is so foreign to me! 😢

[@strongereveryday1891]

1:36 thanks for the explanation of attraction to younger men.

[@lauracarstiou3505]

I totally understand the second woman. She tells my story. I do think of my love life as experiments.l think of all my life as an experiment. Now I'm numerically older but not in my head. I'm in an avoidant LDR with a younger man. I don't want anything else even if I give him up. Been married twice long ago and don't want to be married now. It just seems like having CPSD dooms you for picking the right men. If l can't have happy relationships l can at least have an adventurous life. BTW been sober since 1990. Thank goodness l don't crave sex like before..not ruling it out but it can wait

[@MMC30581]

This man is cruel and does not care about you or your feelings. The greatest form of love is consideration and he has none for you.

[@333angeleyes]

Hi Anna, have you heard of P. E. R. M. A. by Dr. Martin Seligman? You often say happiness is the best medication to control the symptoms of Childhood Trauma as an adult. So I'm curious of your opinion on using P.E.R.M.A as a blueprint for building happiness.

[@studiosandi]

He sounds like he might be married.

[@JTTTTT850]

If love was food i was raised on a combination of raspberry cheesecake and broken car windshields depending on the day

[@mheartshape6817]

The answer Nothing is the same anymore Love has dissolved with the summer wind Bereft, I stay and persist on my own But inside there is a massive black hole made out of loneliness and pain I miss you! My arms are shivering of wanting to hold you and I am aware, you will never ever return Autumn is the fall of what had been You pushed me very, very far away and I pursued my stride ahead I had to run from the answer I knew The answer I searched for but couldn't attain The answer you kept swaying around with and I misread I interpreted the lines you blurred every now and then The moments I was hovering between heaven and earth The smiles that were given and then withdrawn The promises that were made and broken soon The wait that would end but never did so. I dreamed and reality told me something else This cannot be the time to play! Going to you full of passionate wanting, But always coming back empty-handed Our roads that looked similar, yet never crossed The mirage lurking from afar was merely a ghost Is it a yes or a no, I wanted and you never gave I doubted the signs to belie my fate I kept toddling between night and day, confusion led me on to disbelieve it was a game negligence was the reward for my care Anticipation in love gave no gain Illusions of joy turned out to be a postponed despair You have been dismantled, you are insane! Unavailable heartless figure walking shadowlessly You keep acting as normal in an exciting chase Finally I had to give the answer to you myself It was about time that I put you in the right place! I had to turn the tables around to win this case Silence answered your deception An answer you never expected to come from me This healed me from your wounds and left me crying in agony

[@80sgirlwhamduran]

Ugh, what do you suggest for people dealing with being alone, when valentines day happens? Dealing with getting over limerance and the void of that day?

[@susannluckmann7705]

I think I will book a relaxing spa day for and by myself. And I want to cook something for myself, something really nice. And I'll read the best book there is 🥰

[@carrielegg5480]

Get together with friends and family. Start making plans to not be alone. It helps alot.

[@BeehiveEnvy]

As. a. child , It was punishment if I had much. attention! Now. doing a. LOT. of reflection I face a. lot.....Not. something I recommend doing alone...

[@Stumpybear7640]

Get help. X

[@youtube_username_]

Gwen, you're 21 years old. That means you're HOT. Men are going to be attracted to you and come on to you. Ones that are much older and already in committed relationships are creeps - they're not worth your time. Of course it's tempting to engage with someone who wants to engage with you - but ultimately it's a waste of your time, so just ignore them and don't engage in texting. That will free up your time and energy for more suitable relationships. Get out there where good ones can find you. Find the places where the good ones are, and show up there.

[@youtube_username_]

@@elipotter369 That is so smart. I can't say I'm entirely relationship smart, myself... but I'm learning and getting wiser. I'm glad I'm not a young woman anymore - that helps remove the intensity of who/what gets drawn to me.

[@noremac0123456789]

My mother said repeatedly that she kept waiting for me to shoot up and grow a few inches- assuming that would solve my weight problem. Forget the fact that she was an absentee mother who maybe should’ve talked to me about what was going on with me, my issues surrounding food, and low self esteem.

[@JuneAdams-li9sy]

Aw, yes, the lilacs and the man. But what if we don't want the human bondage of marriage? What if we are keyed to higher values: agency, connection, acceptance, peaceful co-existence and so on? Any suggestions Anna?

[@mmohseni69]

Thank you Anna , you are kind, please I need your help. No I am not a lady but I am very sensitive and I am a guy I need your help please please guide me I have CPTSD and ADHD and clearly I need your help, I am listening to your letters and I need help. Tell me plain and simple what shall I do?

[@Ryder382]

💔 starving forced to eat food.. 54 now she wasn't my mother who beat me silly 1972 -2022 She passed away 2022.. I'm still not sure how to feel for her.

[@roastdchestnuts]

Hi Fairy, I recently due to many reasons have to stay at home and I think many old sealed secrets got out, I think I need some help but I am not sure on what kinds. I wonder is there any way to message you privately? My current situation is quite complex, therefore I couldn't elaborate here. best, Cel

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

cptsd ...I definitely wanted and want still, marriage!

[@Anonymas-di6zc]

There's a tyrany of Happiness, that refuses to give place to take care about ouer suffering😢

[@mucotessi1178]

But you guys here tell me if it s common for people with ptsd not to see themselves planning to be married, or ir s only me , i have been always wishing to be with someone but never ever though of me getting married and that ruled me into dating married men all my life,

[@KatErina-ii6ru]

For YEARS I thought deep down in my heart I wasn’t worthy of getting married yet I longed for it FOREVER. Also dated married men more than one, thought they would marry me, or dating abusers and narcissists. I had no idea all this was connected to CPTSD. You’re not alone!!!

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

I never wanted to be married, when I was younger I was afraid of being trapped (part of my C-PTSD), these days I just feel more stable and relaxed not having a partner. I’ve had boyfriends but I don’t think any of my relationships have been healthy. I don’t feel marriage is a necessity for myself and personally don’t think getting married is a reliable indicator of anyone’s self worth, as paradoxical as that may seem to some. We’ve all heard of horrible marriages, and know there are devoted couples out there who aren’t married, and worse - people who were devoted but got married only for marriage to essentially ruin what they had.

[@Christinacatalano]

Omg yes. It doesn’t even feel like it’s a possibility

[@SuperEinstein21]

physically

[@desckUgah000]

I try so hard to be patient and understanding with people but this guy triggered my abandonment and neglect wounds...we were not officially together but no drama happened it was left on a positive note and I got foolishly hopeful....its been two months and he's ignored my last message..I am so angry want to send him a message telling him he will never have another chance.... for my own pom. I go back and forth about trying to have a balance of setting boundaries and empathy for others but for whatever reason I feel pushed to the max whenever pursuing love even when I give them all the space in the world... I don't know if this is reasonable to feel this way, am I justified in my anger and not letting him have a back burner open door option? im 37 its taken so long to heal from ptsd and I've made great strides.. so mentally tired and I feel hopeless now.

[@i.ehrenfest349]

You don’t owe him a back burner open door…

[@mfrivapalacio3061]

Start Rock climbing at a gym, you’ll find a great community, you’ll get in shape and you’ll be in nature with nice people. It’s the greatest female community ever