Space Station 13 : Bloody Haircuts

[@Atomicrow]

"Do you know who I am? I'm the man you maimed!!" Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?

[@Ask4This]

XD

[@rats335]

@Theo Eric shut up

[@dervis621]

I really expected a "Which one?" question to that introduction. :D

[@KingFunky]

For you, that was the haircut that ruined your life. For me, it was Tuesday

[@silvervirage2491]

A barber saying "Get him to my barber chair, else it's just murder" is the most hilariously ominous thing I've ever heard.

[@PrimarisBlackTemplaDraven]

Reminds me of Sweeny Todd

[@astrodreamer946]

"You will be the most powerful barber ever" also a good one. lol

[@divergentdreams1951]

Can't believe that bald guy came back as a whole ass Sith

[@israelcrane6424]

Just the Head of Security outfit. It reminds me more of Rando's Armor from Lisa the Painful.

[@Greggery]

the man goes full phantom of the opera just because he has a bad haircut xD

[@jwalcheski]

he turned into rando lmao

[@Ducktape500]

@@israelcrane6424 it’s the same armor. I believe it’s a reference

[@israelcrane6424]

@@Ducktape500 Rando did nothing wrong, he was trying to make it better, i missa rand-

[@aspenlovelock8115]

The crew: we need botany to produce the oxygen and create stable food sources to keep the ship running Botany: hon hon Le ants in ze weed

[@thejasikhovakha7472]

Botany is in charge of oxygen?

[@Gardosuro]

what is in ze boof TABARNAK

[@MentalRetardsRUs]

It is here we now have garlic weed

[@freshguacer]

@@thejasikhovakha7472 pretty sure the only gas botany produces is toxic fumes

[@Snow-dg7xg]

le hanzes

[@wharfiggle]

The bald guy turned into the Lisa: The Painful villain at the end lmao

[@vincentvalentine4401]

Well a tragic hero who failed. Poor guy(;-:)

[@Amy-qv3oq]

A similar face too lol.

[@lakesquid2671]

Rando’s true backstory

[@numnaut1314]

Rando did nothing wrong, but not this Rando.

[@bionicdragon5]

"Villain"

[@JakeTakesTheCakes]

Criken: (Burning alive) Chef: Sooouuuups Ready!

[@EbonMaster]

BORK BORK

[@foliagedcloud8096]

I dont know why this the most hilarious shit I've watched in months.

[@nopls1762]

same, everything in this video is hilarious

[@23238r3]

Botanist round was pretty funny but when shit hit the fan on barber? I was crying.

[@ianalvord3903]

Want more? kzbin.info/www/bejne/i4OtkKSJjdeojZI

[@clevercoins5360]

It zooms in on him as he again stabs his customers

[@lionblaze99]

same....I still can't stop, can't breathe

[@dudestop1198]

imagine getting a haircut from a firebreathing Incredible Hulk with scissor hands

[@Dorf274]

This is just another day in SS13, especially Goonstation

[@daepicmonke2647]

*Attempts to give a bald man a hair cut* *shanks him in the back of the head* "SIR YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH HAIR"

[@robosoldier11]

Ships Log: "Make note never get hair done by barber Criken."

[@czha8329]

How do you cause so much manslaughter WITHOUT being fired?

[@andeadaccount8329]

Officer: Mr Criken mind explaining to me why you stabbed this person thirty times in the stomach? Criken: I was trying to cut his hair but he sat in the wrong chair

[@zarp3436]

A cop, head mutilation, and a tool meant for hair cuts….. I guess Space Station 13 is stuck in the middle.

[@kamikaze4172]

Remember kids, if your weed tastes like bread, it's baguette weed

[@firekirby123]

And if it tastes like chips and cheese, it's nacho weed.

[@kamikaze4172]

@@firekirby123 That might be the munchies kicking in, man

[@tomwitowski]

Oui

[@kamikaze4172]

@@tomwitowski I see someone smoked the bread weed

[@Denter86]

And if the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. Or something. What were we talking about?

[@MixRedo]

In this episode: Criken accidentally becomes Sweeney Todd.

[@Timmysteve]

AND Edward Scissor Hands!

[@StyryderX]

*accidentally*

[@matthewbdemented]

The Demon Barber of Space Station 13

[@OrionDawn15]

Then he turned into a pickle. A firebreathing one at that.

[@Otto_Von_Beansmarck]

@@Timmysteve although that wasn't an accident

[@burnttoast26]

First was the Sseth tide, now comes the Criken tide

[@mrlasanham4931]

Its not gonna be THAT but i dont think

[@theFonzii]

tomato is the one who can be thanked for organizing this

[@homesquared]

@@theFonzii Correct, strange that Tomato chose Goonstation, which is typically more chaotic, and he wanted MRP server. But hey, /TG/ can't have _all_ of the spotlight.

[@tripodranger7873]

@@homesquared Goonstation actually reached out to him and offered to set everything up. That's why he went with it.

[@LowRes_Corgi56]

Goddammit

[@St0rmC4st3r]

Criken: Makes an SS13 video The entirety of SS13 playerbase: "Uh oh...."

[@LittleLightUwU]

time for the panic bunker

[@sirtopkekii5074]

GRAYTARDS

[@L.CROSS0]

Does it always turn bad?

[@Stanehable]

@@L.CROSS0 Nah. Sseth tide brought lot of new players. In the ends it was good for the game . Normies will fall off within few weeks while the good folk gonna stay.

[@immortalartisan4724]

another fucking wave

[@Razeluxe01]

"Which arm?" "Booooooothhhh" "oh word" God this had me dying. I hope there's more videos of this coming.

[@SorryBones]

I remember playing chemist and injecting LSD into the hamburgers at the chef’s place to make the entire station trip out. It was hilarious, they couldn’t pin me for it either since the detective was a stick in the mud that followed space law. I should play the game again sometime Also, I remember my favorite thing to do as geneticist is to drop a syringe on the ground labeled “SUPERPOWERS” in the middle of a hallway. It actually turned whoever used it into a monkey, but somebody fell for it every time. Classic

[@teecee1827]

Monkey is too obvious. Put mute + spatial instability in the syringe for more fun.

[@IdosoSeboso]

I remember losing my shit when I put lithium + sulfuric acid on the burgers and about 5 crewmates starts having an epilepsy attack on the ground. The time I put AB+ on my blood type and start injecting people with my blood brings good memories too

[@IsaSaien]

holy shit I loved the guy showing up in costume "do you remember me?" "the man you maimed" I fucking lost it, that is some legit fun as fuck character development

[@stephengamba5078]

This is probably one of if not THE funniest Criken video I've watched in a long time. Couldn't stop myself from laughing the whole way through, this was absolute gold. I hope there ends up being more of this game down the line.

[@Northwoods62]

I like that the clown speaks in comic sans. It's a nice touch.

[@homesquared]

Tomato set up a private, subscriber-only server one week before Criken streamed. Barbers on Goonstation typically get *_zero_* attention. Don't expect people to treat you like a protagonist, like they did for Criken.

[@Denter86]

Yeah, if you want good roleplay, you have to get people in. If you don't want to be the initiator, Barman's a good role. People always need to drink on Goon and it usually leads to roleplay.

[@worldrenownedpsycho4941]

Barber is a weekly role also. Also also, no, you can’t give monkeys haircuts. But you can give them toupees.

[@ZIMMERTODAY]

This makes me miss when I was a new player getting high as fuck on way to many u of meth stabbing a guy to death then dying from heart failure those where the good days and potassium bombing bee station or letting out a super plauge on many other stations

[@LohTek]

Actually goonstation players are all pretty hardcore roleplayers; if you get a good gimmick going like Criken did with the incompetent barbering they will generally play along because its funny.

[@Fuhgl]

He went with a random name, no one knew it was him

[@RainshadowAirsoft]

Oh my god wow the barber part had me in tears for like 5mins straight!! This is my new fave next to the barotrauma videos, more please!

[@homesquared]

This was Criken's first impression of SS13 (on Goonstation, no less) Keep your expectations low!

[@damoclesecoe7184]

This is some of the funnies SS13 stuff I've seen in a long time!

[@Frostwolf_103]

How can he possibly mess this up as barber xD

[@jones7590]

"They need an actual doctor in there!" Best situation xD

[@DarkonFullPower]

"I think my plant grew fish." *You have my undivided attention.*

[@GhostKing-bq4sh]

People on the station: *Watches Criken maim several people by accident trying to give them haircuts.* Also people on the station: "I need this man to cut my hair right now!"

[@Awesomewithaz]

To quote Chris O'neal on the Space Station 13 people, "If you give those people an in they'll take a mile."

[@GhostGhosterson]

I think it was Swain that said that

[@bluryach]

@@GhostGhosterson they both said it in different contexts

[@spas012]

holy shit, i thought this day would never come

[@firekirby123]

After Barotrauma, it was only a matter of time.

[@PogOrDog]

Same

[@Balpindo]

@@firekirby123 he's gonna understand what the clown mask actually means in barotrauma now

[@firekirby123]

@@Balpindo Yup!

[@WarpEnnn]

@@Balpindo And what does it means?

[@Brendedn]

6:16 I just noticed for the first time that ghost drone dragging the fuel tank onto the lit cigar. That damn drone was blowing up botany.

[@reecopolis2248]

Wow you ruining someone's haircut and maiming then for life turned him into a supervillain

[@Kagira2006]

Criken cut that guy's face off and he came back as Rando. That's INCREDIBLY fitting.

[@Thebongosusetobethicc]

Oh my god. The barber scene actually had me crying laughing. Holy fuck. Seeing Criken fail at cutting hair was so unbelievably funny. This is what I subbed for boys,

[@RandoFromMars]

That Rando cosplay for the guy you maimed is just... oh my god.

[@Se05239]

I've not laughed so hard in quite a while.

[@cryptosporidium1203]

Awesome, I can't wait to see the incoming Cricken Tide! Thanks for introducing more people to this amazing game.

[@Pontans79]

I was just dying laughing the whole time! More of this please.

[@frighteningspoon]

omg YES it’s so good to see you play this and hopefully you’ll play even more of it! How hard is this game to learn? It looks hilarious

[@spas012]

the prophecy is now completed

[@georgebushdid911]

it's easy once you commit the hotkeys to muscle memory, but it's one of those games you need the wiki open in another window.

[@MrNight-dg1ug]

@@georgebushdid911 Nahhh. Just become a fucking god at the game, and literally know everything there is to know

[@MrNight-dg1ug]

I recommend watching a Basics tutorial on YT; It's around an hour. Then watch a tutorial for each job, and - if you need more help - go onto the wiki.

[@MediaMunkee]

Very. It's easiest to learn the interface and most job duties in an isolated environment when you're not being assaulted by the usual insanity of a round, but this has the side effect of nobody knowledgeable being around to keep the essential ship functions operational. Also there are _at least_ three to five significant forks of the game that all evolved somewhat differently and the maps, mechanics, controls, and restrictions are significantly different between them. The interface is also rough as hell even when you're intimately familiar with what you're doing, and anytime a big youtuber makes a video like this the servers get flooded with new people having the same idea you are right now. If you have a few friends willing to go in blind with you, you'd do probably everyone a service by hosting your own private server and joining via direct IP. tgstation13.org/wiki/Downloading_the_source_code#Hosting_a_server Start by figuring out the interface, then teach yourself engineering. Use YT videos, the wiki, whatever you need to. You need to get the engine up and running to keep the station powered, so if you figure it out you can take things from there and if you don't the station will likely be unrecoverable so you'll have to start over anyway!

[@theblackpantslegion]

H A I L C A R G O N I A. Welcome to ss13. May your tide not wreck it, and the players who watch this learn to be good spessmen.

[@Magnacraft]

"i cant use the fire extinguisher.. i have scissors for hands!"

[@raydvone684]

Never laughed that hard in my life.

[@RainshadowAirsoft]

Me either i laughed til i cried

[@MisterPikol]

What sad lives you have

[@zealouschampion7794]

I'm so happy tomato setup these servers for subscribers

[@masterspartan1313]

Honestly I don't know why this vid made me laugh as much as it did, but it hurts

[@wolfofdoom3294]

No joke I couldn't breathe.

[@ave789]

"Help, sec to surgery! He's turning her into a Papa John's!"

[@burger-jd8cx]

shut up

[@fus132]

"You can't consent into becoming a @@burger-jd8cx!"

[@PuddingXXL]

Oh no. I hear the gate keeping from all the way over here!

[@larrygaroth9773]

Its been too long since I’ve laughed this hard watching one of Criken’s videos, holy shit

[@NotExactlySans]

HE TURNED INTO A FRENCH CANADIAN, HE WAS SMOKING A BOWL OF POUTINE

[@bowmin1]

I generally had to take a good 5 minute break from laughing too hard when he started cutting people by accident.

[@sebastianlofstedt5937]

I absolute loved this video. I laughed really hard for when youbkept cutting your customers apart than their by accidents, even when you thought you knew what to do

[@imspear9172]

Hey hey people. Criken here.

[@imspear9172]

Today. I'm going to cover the whole station. In space lube!

[@BigMontey]

@@imspear9172 Security hes turning her into a papa johns

[@SignalRaptor_]

Viva the independent state of Cargonia

[@zach7]

no need to compare criken to something lesser

[@saturniidspectre]

Have you ever dug too deep?

[@MediaMunkee]

0:44 Houttuynia Cordata... what a wonderful phrase!

[@MrLighthouse6]

God criken is finally playing the most intense rp game ever made, god bless

[@thomasross6824]

“We need an actual doctor in there” fucking killed me

[@firepulse1905]

holy shit i spent that entire barber part dying of laughter. this game makes for some wild moments.

[@kingglorie]

Straight up the funniest thing that has been posted in quite awhile. Good shit.

[@JimmyBe3]

best content in a loooong time, and you put out a lot of good content!

[@omfg622]

This is probably my favorite video by far honestly

[@ianalvord3903]

"Set your intent to Help and aim for the head. "

[@Blaze____________]

This was excellent, please return to this game. So much fun.

[@buffluigi1646]

I really hope he post more space 13 this had me on the floor laughing definitely gonna check out the twitch vod

[@moonum4567]

I've never laughed so hard that my gut hurt. Congratz Criken

[@mountaindoge141]

*Looks at giant pile of blunts* "Ok, this should last us at least a couple of hours.

[@platyclysm4633]

Please Criken.. please more of this. I haven't laughed so hard in a while

[@mastershangchi3410]

That was one of the funniest videos I have ever seen

[@wyguy91]

"ill just take a little off the top"

[@riemaennchen]

This was actually pretty damn great. Please more of this.

[@j-cool-guy-OFFICIAL-CHANNEL]

almost choked to death watching this. freaking amazing how you just keep on maiming your customers!

[@00110000]

Literally logged in for the first time in several months 30 minutes before this video went up. Guess I'll try again in a few more... But honestly, love ya Criken. I just hope the servers will be alright haha Edit: Holy shit this is the hardest I've laughed in months!

[@a12Ga]

This is awesome, love to see more

[@lilmonstercc1]

First video of yours that Ive liked in a very long time.

[@beanman395]

The man that got his face cut off became Rando, not everyone will get it but the ones that do understand why that's really funny.

[@flamesofjihad4069]

I couldn't breath from how hard i laughed at Criken scalping that man wow.

[@Mike020389]

Holy crap this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen, please make more.

[@DivineDragoon]

This was absolutely amazing and exactly what I needed. Thanks doc.

[@Gonzihh]

havent laughed that hard on one of your videos in years, keep SS13 up, its a good stuff

[@tonycallme3667]

"you, my hair" - Proceed to slowly turn to camera with his shining head

[@mauser98kar]

I just love how barber accidently went Sweeney Todd on those poor bastards. And then become Edward Scissorhands. All while his ex-customer turned dark lord and tried to take revenge at him. True SS13 experience.

[@axlios6778]

One of the funniest videos yet!! Please do more of this game

[@Ghillied985]

I didn't realise I needed this content but now I need more

[@nuttybames8690]

I like how out of all the jobs in these games criken always just wants to be a gardener

[@antond12312]

Don't forget that if you streamsnipe you get sent to the shadow realm.

[@BaddyZ]

This was like the most fitting game for Criken I've ever seen. It was made for him!

[@tahu251]

I played this pretty intensely a few years back, and Criken has only just dipped his toe in with the pure unadulturated shenanigans that will happen in this game. I hope he has a go at some of the more complex job roles; detective, xenobiology, hell myabe even some Head roles or Captain! I look forward to seeing more content!!

[@iamdingus]

holy fuck the spot on LISA reference at 14:30

[@stezenast5878]

That chef in the first game must have been a villain. As soon as you phone him that you have garlic, your garlic blows up lol

[@drewhutchinson8814]

This is absolutely chaotic and I love every second of it

[@Jonsoner]

Crikentide reeeeeeee. Hope that the new guys have fun on SS13. Check the wikis boiyos.

[@WalrusQuake]

You have no clue how many years I've awaited this playthrough

[@ihavebread9623]

I think the barber segment is the hardest I’ve laughed in my life

[@XHunter316]

The joy I get when I see "Tabarnak" in a random video is somethin else

[@abysswalker2115]

I have waited for this for the longest time

[@deusmachinashirou5044]

No matter what video it is Cricken succeeds in making it hilarious,dear god i'm laughing so hard that my stomach hurts 🤣

[@TimmyChalk]

Amazing video! Absolutely hilarious, do more of this game

[@monknicious]

Loving the SMRPG music in the background!

[@MarcusQuintusTitus]

Hell yeah. More of this!

[@lu5513]

The barber part really made me laugh, do more like that!

[@dolanforlife]

I've watched this video 5 times. If you can make anything this funny ever again i will love you.

[@symbiotesoda1148]

The Barber of Station 13: Coming to a theater near you.

[@thomasross6824]

This is the perfect game for Criken to play, I’m surprised it’s taken so long

[@BomberJacknut]

Space station 13 is a beautiful game. So many possibilities for things to go so horribly wrong and yet so horribly right....

[@goodluck2119]

We need more of this right now!

[@williampipoly1069]

I didn't know what to expect from this video, but certainly not BREAD-FLAVORED MARIJUANA JOINTS.