Kick Me In the Azorella Compacta - High Andean Plants to Blow Your Mind

Join us as we get light-headed and experience altitude sickness while botanizing the volcanic landscape of the Andes of Northern Chile at altitudes high enough to make you keel over and puke. See a member of the carrot family that can live to be 3,000 years old. See what harsh temperature fluctuations and increased ultraviolet radiance to a member of the cotton/hibiscus family when repeated genetic recombination and natural selection works their magic over millions of years. Experience the rejection of offering camelids a salad platter and being rejected. This is Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't.
Species List for this episode :
Cumulopuntia boliviana ignescens (Cactaceae)
Azorella compacta (Apiaceae)
Senecio behnii (Asteraceae)
Pycnophyllum sp (Caryophyllaceae)
Polylepis tarapacana (Rosaceae)
Nototriche nana (Malvaceae)
Mutisia hamata (Asteraceae)
Erythranthe depressa (Phrymaceae)
Plazia daphnoides (Asteraceae)
Enjoying this kind of low-brow educational material/toilet humor? Consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Merch store : www.bonfire.com/store/crime-p...
Consider sending hate mail/ angry grandpa remarks to : [e-mail]
Dim-witted conspiracy theories, whiny remarks and semi-literate climate-denier comments removed like lint hair from an ass crack. Unless they are worthwhile enough to respond to with ridicule, at which point I will respond with some smarmy shit just for shits n' giggles.

[@kevcrabill7921]

I never thought I would fall in love with the sound of a man screaming at plants alone in Peru, but here we are.

[@stonew1927]

Chile

[@seejjordan]

"do cute things make you feel less homicidal?" should be your next t-shirt

[@TwinCitiesFancy]

He's got my money

[@calamagrostis88]

One of your best, really strange plants in one of the most extreme environments on Earth. These videos are a very valuable scientific record of these amazing species.

[@Inexpressable]

Thats true, imagine how many plants he's filmed that will proabably be gone in ten years.

[@paulshowers1200]

Inexpressable imagine how many plants will be gone in the next 24 h

[@Gamerkat10]

@@paulshowers1200 more so when he's in cities for that one. Here that's a little extreme ngl. Don't get so nihilistic u just give up you know? no fuckin difference then between u and the suits

[@StaticTremor]

“He’s doin’ it, he’s helpin’ the flowers bang themselves.” Probably wouldn’t get that at university.

[@priceandpride]

17:10 looks like someone blew their... Nose lol thought he was gonna say something else

[@STROONZONY]

Tony is a fucking classic!

[@rocki_bb]

My all time favorite college instructor was a pg version of this, but on anatomy and physiology

[@williamharris9799]

You definitely do, my botany instructor liked to say, "flowers are all about sex". Then go on for a while about how Linnaeus was a perv because he named plants after the number of male and female parts in a flower.

[@harrisonbrand8985]

staying up late for geology midterm. i’m glad my current distraction involves more geology.

[@melissac5740]

Practical procrastination

[@BethLove333]

Ya like lookin' at fractals?

[@GildaLee27]

"Christmas kinda makes me wanna throw up."

[@doppenheim64]

Hilarious! Me too

[@melissac5740]

@Your friendly Neighborhood Dealer F that. Any kind of profiting off of others is messed up. Besides the purpose of capitalism is to continuously grow, that just ain't possible on a finite planet. No form of capitalism is environmentally or economically sustainable.

[@melissac5740]

@Your friendly Neighborhood Dealer "What the bourgeoisie therefore produces, above all are it's own grave-diggers"

[@thelukeewan7602]

Yeah, weird customs. Like go to the forest, find the most perfect tree, cut it down, drag it to your living room, dress it up and watch it die. On a personal note, sad but true, 40 years ago I was married to a mouth breathing Humboldt county hillbilly that actually shot a tree off with a shotgun when he couldn't find his buddy with the saw. Wish I could say that was the worst thing he did before I left.

[@marypaquet3372]

@@melissac5740 Absolutely right. Capitalism is based on the idea of profiting off infinite resources. .

[@TitansTracks]

What this guy is doing in real life, is what I looked forward to so badly for in No Man's Sky back in 2016. To go out into alien worlds and discover cool looking stuff. To really get an understanding of the environment. This is probably one of my most favourite channels. Nothing will ever be as engaging as the world around us. There is so much to learn and discover! 💎

[@bobrickleson2087]

Oh shut up you nerd

[@TitansTracks]

@@bobrickleson2087 Nah I'd rather speak my mind and not worry about what dumb asses think. It's a lot funner this way, now gfy 😘

[@StaticTremor]

Bob Rickleson If you have a problem with nerds you better just keep moving fella.

[@rivitraven]

No man's sky ended up a disappointment compared to what I wanted it to be. It sort of just became repeat after repeat in the planets. I really wished it was better than it actually was. I expected there to be multiple ecosystems across planets instead of the same thing all across it.

[@TitansTracks]

@@rivitraven Tell me about it! I dropped in today to see the new "Variety Update" and what you said still rings true. There not true ecosystems when you just land and see everything there is for the whole planet. It's actually a really depressing game to play, monotous grind for resources, a jetpack that barely works, the buzzing and repetitive music and of course the amount of time just waiting around. It feels like there should be more to it but really there isn't. I don't think the engine they built is very fun, it's great for all these prototype ideas but in terms of actual gameplay it's very stale and repetitive. Even worse in VR where everything is blurry. Hand crafted planets would be the way to go. I feel like their whole procedural generation thing really screwed them over!

[@CarnivorousPlantsAndGardening]

It's almost 12:00AM and I'm going to watch this video

[@zzyzx2297]

One of my personal favorite episodes in fact its probably my favorite. Idk what it is about plants adapted to extreme solar radiation, drought, cold temps and the high altitude of the Andes but they really get me in my heart's soft spot. Really cheers me up thank you!

[@victorsaloum9731]

thank god a new vid i was dying of boredom don't ever stop man!

[@Grrinn]

He'll run out of Earth eventually...

[@victorsaloum9731]

Cheshire Grinn he better be a geriatric doing this then.

[@watcher3774]

He might stop to teach.... hes a knowledgeable with life fucking experience.

[@jasminewood395]

@@Grrinn not at a botanist pace... He could botanize Chile alone for 500 yrs and not be done

[@JornSilverblade]

05:00 Xenophyllum weddellii 05:45 Senecio humillimus (not S. algens or S. behnii) 07:05 Senecio adenophyllus (probably) 09:30 Pycnophyllum tetrastichum 11:50 Werneria aretioides 13:15 Oxychloe andina 22:45 and 23:15 Nototriche turritella

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

What's up Kai thanks for the help on inat last year.

[@pissoff247]

Hey man. You're an inspiration. Ten years ago I was shooting dope in an abandoned house. I went back to school got a degree in chemical engineering because I love chemistry but I was going to be old as fuck by the time I graduated with a PhD in organic chemistry and I could finish a bachelor in chemE in four years and make more money. Today I work in the pharmaceutical industry as an automation engineer, so I dont even do chemical engineering. I like what I do, but ultimately I fantasize about running off into the woods and spending my life in a cabin. I much prefer the natural world to the mindless pursuit of money. I study mycology and teach beginner classes in wild mushroom identification. Anyway, I think you're right on. We should hang out some time.

[@damiangraham3571]

i love Fractals!! And, yes, I finished school in the early nineties. That landscape"s wicked

[@amendopublicaccess5742]

I always look forward to seeing your videos and tell people about your channel probably too often.

[@swaddington9399]

Damn, that Apiaceae looks like a Sedum...weird...thanks for taking us to Chile with you!

[@jasminewood395]

I hope he stays there for a year!

[@ryPish]

This is such a strange landscape... you could have told me most of those were alien life forms found on the dark side of seventh moon of planet 9 and I might have believed it all, were it not for all the clues left by evolution tying most those weird bastids to some other plant I've seen before, real nice close ups.

[@boinger1988]

Best channel on KZbin hands down.. Thanks for spreading your knowledge, and making us laugh at the same time. Watching from the southside of Chicago!

[@eddiewiller]

Those Azorella compacta are pretty cool. I have never seen something quite like that.

[@tonydavies8683]

it looks like a really tight packed Sempervivum aka: chicks and hens succulent

[@green3975]

I think azorella is edible as well.

[@kmakiri9156]

It seems I found my new favorite KZbin channel! This has everything I could ask for. Botany, swearing and misnthropy. Thank you!

[@jamesdriscoll9405]

Those Vicuna look sorta happy to see you. Just saying. The Altacama is amazing, thank you for sharing it. Did you see any of the astronomical observatories they have down there? Ancient ruins? Just wondering.

[@stonew1927]

Vicun'a? Atacama? Are you comenting on the wrong video? And so many others clueless giving you thumbs up? lol

[@tiioga8053]

I got fired cause I was listening to ur channel at work it was worth it

[@PixelPariah]

Love you vids and the banter, dude. Keep it up!

[@nancynickerson4341]

What an amazing landscape. Thanks so much to CPBBD for taking us on these expeditions!

[@edwardlittlefield447]

Thank you for making all of your botanical videos for us. The quality is fantastic and I love the humor too! Thanks!

[@gthomas1421]

I appreciate the work you’ve done. Thank you.

[@johannesdietrich724]

No, I as a German don‘t feel offended. „Werner“ is a famous cartoon in Germany. It‘s translated in many languages. Maybe you watched it. Like your stuff, i‘m botanist too, and like your style to speak without unnessessary scientific terms. Botany for everyone. Keep on going for eternity.

[@sadophyte831]

This channel is really what i need in this winter. Everything around me is cold and wet but i can still observe nature vicariously

[@sarahsunshine7248]

That was very educational and beautiful scenery. Ty for your hard work and knowledge

[@X3R0D3D]

dude i'm so glad my buddy showed me your channel.... love ya my man

[@mchaelhb]

you continue to be one of my favourite people on the internet

[@joshuafox3994]

just gotta say love this channel and thank you!

[@crawlspace9750]

You talking in your videos is better company than the majority of people I've met, much less encounter regularly.

[@cybeermancom1]

Ur doin gods work ma man. This is amazing love watching at plants, love sitting back, also ur funny

[@gallaherchris]

I love these videos, they put a smile on my face.

[@kiksyame1481]

I enjoyed this tour so much, thank you :D

[@ShunNiikura]

Thanks a lot! As a European I really love to see these habitats. Thumbs UP!

[@RichardStansfield]

Thank you so much for showing us an amazing landscape. Love how you describe things, don't ever change, makes me smile 😉

[@dbrowne9341]

OMG what a wonderful ep thankyou!

[@prescott5328]

Banger

[@rojopantalones9791]

A buddy of mine who's hugely into horticulture as a whole is someone I hope starts watching your videos. I shared a few with him, hope he watches them, cause they deserve more viewership

[@johntellnott12345]

New fan! So enjoying your work, well done, and thankyou. This one is beautiful, loving those ground coverings, oh and your voice is most entertaining, if that's not offence to note.

[@slocoast5]

So incredible! Love watching. Actually motivated to get outdoors.

[@michaelnancyamsden7410]

Thank you for this trip into altitude and unusual plants. Enjoy your teaching. Never spent the time to consider adaptational botany. Would never have even seen these without your hard work. Thanks.

[@ComblessMan]

Love this series. I save it to watch so I can pay attention. GFY.

[@jl9998]

My mind is blown. Thank you for this video.

[@aaronmfparr]

This is amazing stuff. Thank you for doing this.

[@mediumbug]

thank you for sharing. much appreciated.

[@wendysalter]

It's hard to know what to say...it's so amazingly magnificently miraculous =. Thanks Joey, loving these explorations.

[@wacey7455]

Those mat green fractal plants are so weird and cool looking. Its so neat. We are inside this neat bizarro world of nature. Your vids always strip away the cultural frameworks of green is boring and really just show the plants in their cool glory living in the abiotic environments. Their shape and forms perfectly fit into their homes. Crime pays, your videos are just exceptional... Context gives meaning. Keep it up man!

[@fop6033]

Hold on! I gotta take my bong rip before I watch this!

[@hellwheresthefire]

Amazing plants,and amazing landscape!

[@alejandrorobles6865]

Amazing plants, adaptation at its best

[@nashton9964]

Those blobby plants were really cool to see, didn't know anything like that existed, and in such varieties, too!

[@SrWho1234]

You have to visit the valdivian forest, it's beautiful and unique, trust me. I'm from Chile and I think it's my favorite ecological region.

[@ProximaCentauri88]

I just discovered yesterday this channel after searching tillandsia. I love your style man.

[@simonolsen9995]

8:57 - The local shaman checks out Tony.

[@kenhunt2861]

Simon Olsen : el condor passa

[@wendysalter]

Nice catch

[@Filbie]

Your explanation around 15:30 was blowing my mind!

[@mezmarionybarra]

So cool so cool so cool thank you so much again again again all this wonderful info share!!!!

[@thelukeewan7602]

Tony Joe, love your vids ! Hope you have someone watching your back while you explore and share with us.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Chile is safe compared to Mexico. Not going to walk up on illegal cartel grows or encounter armed narcos here, both of which I've had happen to me on separate occasions down (up) there.

[@zorrokitty5666]

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Didn’t one of your friends find a grow operation in death Valley?

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

@@zorrokitty5666 yes in Hanaupah canyon.

[@OUSurf2]

Awesome vid thankyou

[@Kavukamari]

that green mat is really weird, thanks for showing me, i never knew something related to carrots could look like THAT

[@brianballa3086]

I LIKE ... thank you for sharing

[@philgriffiths5514]

I Love Coots.. And seeing those compact plants and animals in habitat amazing. Love to see that stuff in the wild.

[@TheNaturalProgressive]

I love your work! Maybe some day you would be willing to go slumming and agree to an interview?

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

I guess. Buy me a burrito and we can talk. Heavy on the beans, hold the rice : [e-mail]

[@jasminewood395]

Email him! It's well worth the burrito!

[@TheNaturalProgressive]

@@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt Happily buy you a burrito! I will reach out tonight!

[@TheNaturalProgressive]

@@jasminewood395 Yes!!!

[@TheNaturalProgressive]

Now I am getting excited! Joey has some fans that watch my show too! 🤗

[@MrTurbocobra]

What would posses someone to give this a thumbs down? Its F'in brilliant. Greetings from west-central Illinois.

[@juliacapone2231]

yet another great video! keep at it :)

[@Thegermansarecoming]

10:00 nice effect. More magnification type shots please ireally enjoyed that

[@jasminewood395]

Yes! I was dying for a mag shot of that malvacea at the end. That was a banger too!

[@royahold1966]

love it.

[@danielward4827]

I love your videos, your intelligence mixed with your Mafia type accent makes me both learn and laugh!

[@kingpopaul]

That's some nice diversity! Its nice to see the adaptations to limiting factors in these areas.

[@analogbunny]

I don't think I've been this curious about root systems in years. Those mats that grow over the rocks... I'd be so into looking under to see how it holds on. Usually the roots are just "it has a root", but sometimes... the interesting shit is underneath.

[@RazsterTW]

Have to figure that it's been growing on top of older and older decaying plants. I too wonder what the root system looks like.

[@trevorstannus2604]

The root structures of plants are still largely a mystery, so get out there with a shovel! (As they say countless times in Edible Forest Gardens). Understanding them better would enable us to plant gardens that share the soil’s resources and provide us with better, longer lasting yields from useful perennial herbs, shrubs, climbers, and trees!

[@thismianeptunis]

As far as I can tell, while there are probably plenty of rocks under that thing, it doesn't really "grow on rocks" in the sense that something like moss or lichen would. It has a large taproot that reaches pretty deep into the soil, which is common for Apiaceae (they are the carrot family, after all). So it isn't so much holding onto rocks as it is expanding outward and happening to grow over the rocks in its path

[@cdawg3551]

I need a Borneo video where you go up close and personal with Rafflesia arnoldii 🙏

[@allonesame6467]

Found one. On youtube no less!

[@TheYellowjim]

Its a strange place, great video looking at all the strange plants ! 👍

[@benjammin3714]

Yes the video I was waiting for! Azorella's and cute shit comfort me, and there's lots of weird cute shit on the altiplano! For the coca tea... I had to use about 5-6 teabags worth to get an effect. It was surprisingly pleasant mixed with the lack of oxygen. You walk through the Atacama long enough you realize why the Spanish had so much trouble colonizing. Loving this series! Safe travels.

[@demonorse]

22:30 the bark reminds me of opening up a clove of garlic, it makes the same noise, multiple thin layers.

[@josephswafford7578]

Love. The. Work. Don't. Quit.

[@daynight3444]

Did not know if I should laugh or cry when you said your cactus was good at catching diesel particulate. Poor thing haha

[@matildagreene1744]

Love this ! My brain feels like a sponge.......LOL..soaking up all this info plus your marvelous Chi town accent..Great way to start a day ! Thanks :) And yes...cute shit DOES make me feel less homicidal..

[@falcoperegrinus82]

Wow, that Azorella is a crazy plant!

[@PenntuckytheCrag]

Beautiful orange and red flowers

[@igot99problemsbutmyaltaint81]

Greatings ya sassy bastids!!

[@whikihowable]

I like to imagine he's a hit-man that makes these videos to serve as alibi, just after burying bodies in the middle of nowhere.

[@mrpieceofwork]

Wait... you disparage Xmas in this one? Yes please.

[@stonew1927]

Back in 1997 I spent a couple of months traveling around Bolivia and a bit of Peru. I ventured towards the remote Uyuni Salt Pan, the largest and highest in the world, on the altiplano of the Andes along the southwest border of Bolivia with Chile. It's an otherworldly landscape, with solitary snow capped volcanoes, strange shaped rocks (Dali Rocks), multi-colored lakes populated by Andean flamingoes, and llamas, alpacas, guanacos and vicuñas scattered about. It was cold and dry, and the stars at night never shined so brightly anywhere else on Earth. Along the way, I would see these smooth, round, mossy like growths. They turned out to be Azorella compacta highlighted in the video. In Spanish it's called llareta, or yareta (from the native Quechua yarita). These plants are said to be able to live 3,000 years! There were these small, rabbit like animals that would eat them, called vizcachas (in the video he calls them chinchillas). I hear that now this area has been "discovered" by the internet crowd. I'm grateful that I was able to experience it when it was still largely unknown to the outside world. It's a very special place . . .

[@timd8912]

Thank you

[@K0R3inc]

Hey mate. I'm keen to suggest you tell us a bit about the safety aspects of your travels. Any tips and tricks to navigating through rough terrain, what equipment you use?, how good is your camera? I'd love to see what it's like behind the scenes. Do you carry a sat phone? What distance do you travel when you go botanizing? There's a whole episode you could do for people who are interested to go do some botanizing themselves. Love your work mate!

[@vicaldama9314]

Beautiful thumbnail pic!

[@AndreaDingbatt]

WOW! Just, WOW!! And, Another,~ WOW for Good Luck!! Ive Fallen in Love with This Landscape!! It is Quite Simply,~Freaky as Feck!!~ Im Very New to this Amazing Botanical Stuff! My Family think it means I have Become *Effeminate,... HaHaHaa! Mr Dingbatt. .(Still with Mrs Dingbatt,Just..Lmao!!)

[@taleandclawrock2606]

Cute little Asteraceae, " does it make you feel, less homocidal"? Thank you for forever changing the botanical snobbery of mainstream:-))

[@audiokemestry]

Feels like I'm listening to an italian mobster who retired from the mafia to go and get a PhD in botany. So cool.

[@jasminewood395]

How long you gunna be down there man? These are so good! If you did a vid a day for a year down there I still wouldn't be bored... There's so many great areas to botanize in that region ...

[@k33k32]

that azorella is awesome! I feel like half the plants here are channeling hen and chicks - so much parallel evolution in action!

[@MarkusMalecki]

Hey. I am german and I have to tell you, that we - indeed - have humor. 12:20 section 8-) Our humor is just more on the darker side. So that is the reason, I really like your videos. And besides that, I am happy, that I don't have to break my bones in that territory. Go on. Your videos are excellent.

[@samlipsit517]

Very nice ice seep...cute

[@nathanboyd7460]

Wow, your voice really sounds different in this video. Must be the elevation. Seriously cool ass video!

[@TheTiniestMoth]

i really dig your videos, man. one for the accent that originally drew me in, but also because you REALLY know what the hell you're talking about but you don't sound like a snobby university professor

[@tp6335]

I like your altitude!

[@oliverhel9629]

Nice hike...

[@kommikoo7360]

I don't understand your ranking of various families of plants, but I enjoy them.

[@CHASRIZM]

Dang that green mat plant looks really cool