Atacama Hemorrhoid Balm/Wind Misery w/ Echinopsis atacamensis

A gradual upward crawl to see a species of Columnar Cactus that grows like a hairy white totem pole at 14,000' elevation. See what evolution has done to a tall-growing succulent plant adorned with spines to enable it to grow at such a high elevation with thinner atmosphere and freezing temperatures.
Warning : the wind is a nightmare in the latter half of this episode and no I will probably not invest in a better microphone. I'm low class and low-budget and probably wouldn't even know how to use one if I had the opportunity. Feel free to email with advice if you have it or give a shit.
Species list for this episode :
Grindelia tarapacana
Corryocactus brevistylus
Parastrephia quadrangularis (Asteraceae)
Echinopsis ferox (Cactaceae)
Dunalia spinosa (Solanaceae)
Hoffmannseggia sp. (Fabaceae)
Stevia sp.
Chuquiraga kuschelii (Asteraceae)
Echinopsis atacamensis (Cactaceae)
Questions, hate mail, advice, semi-coherenr sociopathic ramblings : [e-mail]
To purchase shirts, hoodies and other merch that will display your fascination with evolution, floristics and biophilia; as well as your irreverence for modern human society :
www.bonfire.com/store/crime-p...

[@nancynickerson4341]

I love his botanitude.

[@calamagrostis88]

Whenever I am out in a sensitive area like a desert or an alpine meadow I try to really slow down and avoid stepping on special plants. It is so easy to kick over a small cactus that is 10 or 20 years old without even noticing it.

[@TheBoshy]

It's a lot older than that mate

[@BruhiSwearToGod]

The intro insult is one of my favorite parts.

[@BruhiSwearToGod]

Also at 6:30 where you sound like an airline pilot talking to the passengers

[@FixedGearFox]

@@BruhiSwearToGod the outtro is what gets me. "Okaygofuckyourselfbye"

[@2handsandwiches]

Made me smile too

[@JoeJoeTheCapybara]

It helps me feel loved! ❤❤❤

[@teriyakimoto9296]

if it's not the heat, it's the humanity

[@darwinrussell]

Came for the coyote cub. Stayed for the attitude and botany.

[@swimbait1]

The botanical discussion I like but what I find most entertaining is when he goes off on the way humans are.

[@johannesdietrich724]

He insults, he is pissed off, he is my most favorite botanist.

[@metalicminer6231]

He's got a good brain for Latin. Funny Af too.

[@sydthegoat88]

Sir David Swearingborough

[@Nhoj31neirbo47]

I particularly enjoyed the panoramic shots. The light at about 11:40, 14:50 and 21:40 is quite something. Thanks!

[@T1ddlywinks]

Your negativity always brightens my day =]

[@geoffbreen2386]

Finally at 14,000 ft a valley of Echinopsis atacamensis. You bring us some amazing sights. This is probably the altitude limit for columnar cacti.

[@421hammerhead]

Outstanding Tony. Your ability to know what is in bloom and where is amazing. I know you use software and books to help locate and familiarize yourself with the area you seek. What is truly spectacular is your ability to rattle off those plant names ~ like magic.

[@katiekane5247]

Thanks for climbing & huffing for those of us who can't. Desolate but gorgeous landscape. GFY Edit: some of my favorite subdivision names; Ustebe Woods Floranomora Flattened Forest Humanity sucks!

[@isobe260]

crazy how there’s so much life and beauty even at 15000 feet in the desert! thank you for showing us ❤️

[@troyclayton]

WTF, Francoaceae? It's not even in my systematics book, only 20 years old. I bought it new. Guess I'm gonna need something more current and comprehensive. It doesn't seem like that long ago... I love seeing the Gnetophytes, and volcanos, lol. edit: And many thanks for the enjoyment these videos have brought me, and many around me.

[@dansummerfield9390]

Good Morning from Australia, I'm off to work now so gonna like your upload and watch it later.... On the down low, are you up for posting out anymore stickers yet?

[@Rotsuoy]

The cactus in the middle of the screen at 18:59 looks like it's giving us all the middle finger.

[@nonoluigi]

No, that's just a sculpture of Joey pointing at something . . .

[@timmiller2246]

Don't mind the wind noise as long as we can understand you, adds to the understanding of the environment you're in.

[@malkie638]

Great to come home from out there with all the media and other inputs,,,and escape to the wilderness

[@lucyb15]

loving the light on the spiny landscape

[@jasminewood395]

Godamn! This is great! I mean the wind in hardly bearable but every plant you focused on was a gem! You need a 2 man crew to document this man! There's ppl like me that are starving for botany vids like this!

[@c0rnsocks]

Thanks

[@najakwarkle]

Those vistas with the echinopsis atacamensis, so so beautiful.

[@Icehippieviking1001]

Love this guy! Great to see a for real person doing this! Keep up the great work!!

[@dbrowne9341]

omg what a splendiferous show thank you!!! wandering botanist!!!

[@ogieogie]

Thanks.

[@adamheckathorn5319]

I've become addicted to these videos. I was a JW for 28 years when sitting at home quietly out of the blue I realized it was all bullshit. Now as an Atheist I am astonished at the reality of the eons of time that have resulted in the evolution of species diverse and beautiful.

[@Inexpressable]

Definitely go read Life on Earth by David Attenborough. I read it a couple of years ago and all the pieces of the puzzle of life came together.

[@jameswalker3416]

So I've been been obsessed with plants the last couple of years and I'm also an atheist. Anyway I'm a lone atheist in a sea of Christians and at least once a week I get your so obsessed with plants and you think God's creations just spontaneously came into existence. It's so funny to me that there fine with saying god has always been there but plants couldn't have evolved from nothing.

[@arcticspirals]

Hey Adam, there is more and more of us. I too find myself in a sea of Christian ish people. They believe in the Bible but appropriate any other cultural pretty they want and be 'spiritual'. Then again I suppose that is Christianity has always done.

[@pansepot1490]

Adam Heckathorn, hi! Congrats for turning into an apostate! 😁 If you like science and evolution I highly recommend Aron Ra’s “systematic classification of life”. It’s a series of short videos about the evolution of life from the beginning to us humans. It’s amazing, very scholarly and comprehensive yet accessible. Here’s a link to the playlist. kzbin.info/aero/PLXJ4dsU0oGMLnubJLPuw0dzD0AvAHAotW

[@Inexpressable]

@@pansepot1490 hey man, thanks alot for sharing that - definitely gonna give it a look. the idea of understanding classifications can seem a bit daunting, but this playlist looks to be very helpful

[@NewMessage]

My Buddy's GF: "OMG, this guy's totally my spirit animal!" Me: "Would your 'spirit animal' kick your ass for using the term 'spirit animal'?" My Buddy's GF: ".... Nobody likes you, you know."

[@postoak2755]

At the risk of beating a dead horse. Again. Amazing Place, amazing plants.

[@LifeEnglish]

Thanks for the video, Tony. Super informative. Funny as always.

[@jjeshop]

Fantastic

[@cgriggsiv]

As always very educational love the way how you do things excellent style

[@elizabethe744]

Love your finger ruler tattoo! Really convenient!

[@LordDragox412]

He doesn't need one on his feet because they're already a foot long!

[@edwiddows541]

Crime has one that converts centimeters to imperial.

[@LordDragox412]

Spikes. Spikes everywhere ;___;

[@towjam37]

"I feel like the grandpa now!"

[@lcbrme138]

Stickers have been applied to the appropriate locations

[@chuxmix65]

Thanks for posting a vid from the edge of somewhere Tony!

[@RatDad69]

Pissed off and informative... You have my attention sir.

[@cacogenicist]

Those boulders _definitely_ were water-rounded. There are ancient paleo-channels in the Atacama. Fluvial fans, even.

[@lynnmoss2127]

Thank you so much

[@jamj8965]

This channel is a blessing holy isht

[@yesplease9021]

Thank you for the awesome videos brother!

[@michaelhockus8208]

loved this, thanks for sharing

[@koloblicin]

i actually liked the wind blowing in my ears,

[@Inexpressable]

I'd be likely to agree, but the iPhone microphone isn't all that great

[@koloblicin]

@@Inexpressable maybe your speakers/headphones arent that good cuz i even heard the wind singing around the big cactus. honestly sounded like i was with him there.

[@koloblicin]

@@Inexpressable but maybe im just high as fuck and you are right ;D

[@Inexpressable]

@@koloblicin I haven't gotten round to watching the full video so haven't seen and heard that cactus, my bad. but I just think that the iPhone mic isn't really cut out for win that much, as it can often get a bit loud, would be much better with a wind cover thingy

[@Inexpressable]

but don't worry I'm high as fuck too. I'm glad Tony gives us an occasional bong rip break

[@BRIANJAMESGIBB]

re. pollinators: " Warmth may be a significant reward for pollinators on cool days and during cool seasons, thus encouraging pollinators to spend a greater amount of time engaged in foraging and pollinating behavior (Cooley 1995, Rands and Whitney 2008). This may be especially important for hymenopterans, dipterans, and coleopterans that are unable to thermoregulate internally (Warren et al. 1988). Moths have only recently been reported as pollinators of cacti in the Atacama Desert (Schlumpberger and Badano 2005) although, to date, they have not yet been reported as pollinators on Eulychnia. Because both moths and bats tend to emerge near or shortly after sundown, these pollinators could also benefit from residual warmth as a thermal reward. Whatever the reason, equatorially oriented cactus flowers have been shown to attract a greater abundance of insect pollinators than non‐equatorially oriented flowers (Figueroa‐Castro et al. 2014)." esajournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ecs2.1937 . does keep referring to bats and en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atacama_myotis is the only neotropical Myotis that is known to hibernate and exists in colonies of up to 30 individuals at over 3000m altitude so it looks like there is a bat :)

[@krjoyner56]

I recieved your hoodie today! rockin the "Dept of Unauthorized Forestry" in a house with my bestie/roomie who works for the real Forest Service. He laughed and advised caution to anyone practicing Guerrilla botany acts.

[@davidbarts6144]

The North American cactus you are thinking of is probably Sclerocactus papyracanthus. They had them in New Mexico, where I lived as a teen. They were almost impossible to distinguish from a clump of grama grass!

[@rr3dd]

You forgot to add the gorgeous Junellia sp. (Verbenaceae) to the species list!

[@WayneTheSeine]

I am amazed you can stay at those elevations for that long without going full on altitudes sickness. I am also amazed there are no disgusting Walmart bags hung up in the cactus up there. They are like ornaments in west Texas...hanging from fences, power lines, cactus, mesquite .... I think it may be the Texas flower...or is it the bluebonnet .....not sure.

[@marzymarrz5172]

nice sightseeing trip. Thanks

[@frogjunk]

Wondering what is going to show up in my feed after watching this video with such a name lol.

[@cynergy4]

Grindelia smalls nice, was it scented? Sounds like my niece. When we were camping in the Mammoth Mountain area, she complained that there were too many trees, and how there should be a mall there, arghhhh!

[@katherinecopelin8670]

Thanks for sharing! Awesome✌

[@janetlovesu]

Just got my Stop Humanity hoodie. It's my new favorite thing

[@jmiller3892]

How in the fu%% do you get to travel like you do I envy you , keep up from Pennsylvania

[@standarddeviation7963]

I sprained my ankle just watching this video.

[@margeauxmcclelland3338]

What a cool area! It's so desolate!

[@koloblicin]

amazing, those little white text comments you put in your video made me laugh more than all videos i watched in the last like 2 weeks at least! ps: not only the texts made me laugh

[@arunabhadas8799]

This guy is awesome Classic italian style accent "Fugget bout it"👍👍👍☺☺☺

[@landobaggins]

Joey, how often do you get out in the field to learn?

[@StanTheObserver-lo8rx]

In the garden,those tree like Echinopsis cactus are fast growers..up to a foot a year. At the very least,much faster than Sauguros. Another great vid. So, 10,000' and 86f?..I guess they never have to suffer the triple digit heat of low deserts,or hot nights. Can hardly wait until you get to South Africa...so many botanical things I have or seen are from there.

[@Psychodeathification]

Echinopsis pasacana and some other ones grow that fast in the garden, E. atacamensis, E. ferox that are in the video grows pretty slow still tho.

[@StanTheObserver-lo8rx]

@@Psychodeathification Ah,ok. The really long spined are hard to get . I was wondering about how they do...but Pasacana's are near rockets by comparison it seems.

[@TealPanda7]

awesome!

[@TheVitaminQ]

I like the tubes.

[@jackwood8307]

You know I almost started to watch the news when i just said fuck that theres a new video! My nerves thank you!

[@demonorse]

10.09 the "White Punks on Dope" Tubes? Yes I like the Tubes. Saw them live in Royal Oak Michigan.

[@000Krim]

You are awesome

[@JacksonCA2]

This one was great, as usual. I know you’re there for the plants but there was some pretty spectacular geology going on there too that could have used some commentary! A broad low Mesa, nice layers, I’d guess there’s a fault line somewhere in there too.

[@sativagreenthumb5786]

asshole

[@garchompy_1561]

how is it that you can remember the latin names and their evolutionary trees? do you have any tips on remembering them? is it just "spend long enough doing it and youll get it eventually"? I had a uni module a while back and had to remember a few clades/families/etc and REALLY struggled with it.

[@sarahsunshine7248]

What fun!

[@darrenmarchant1720]

salaam thank you for this excellent report as always.

[@reecherdbrown8156]

Surprised that the land isn't repurposed for a pile of condominiums already.

[@TheNaturalProgressive]

I love high desert..

[@humandoodad]

Oh hey, I went to The Tube once years ago. It was a weird vibe for sure.

[@flamomo]

This place looks so fucking beautiful

[@gthomas1421]

Love me some Lonedago.

[@user-zq9xh4rc3c]

You should invest in some fuzzy handcuffs.... so you can take your old pair of fuzzy handcuffs and use the fuzz to cover the mic area of your camera/phone/whateva to help with the wind noise

[@thedudegrowsfood284]

So yer sayin' that high-silica magma is more likely to spatter the bowl

[@thedudegrowsfood284]

of da volcano, dat is...

[@sarasmr4278]

That basalt shit just keeps on comin tho

[@thedudegrowsfood284]

musta had a bad burrito

[@michaelhockus8208]

I get close enough taking Celsius, doubling it, and adding 30 for F.

[@andybaldman]

*I'd love to hear more about the process behind what determines which family (and/or species) things belong to. You name off the families all the time, but much of the time I have no sense of how you're arriving at that info. It would be very informative over time, for those of us who watch a lot of your vids.*

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

I intend to do a vid on flower morphology when I'm back home. Flowers are what unite plants under a certain family. Once you understand this and become familiar with a few of the prominent plant families in your region (depends on where you are and if you have access to any remaining intact wild habitat - the precursor of what was there before the shopping centers/billboards/freeways), you'll be able to see a plant that you've never seen before and know what family its in, maybe even what genus. The trademarks of a plants flower structure that tie it into being a member of a certain family are called "apomorphies". Check out "Botany in a day" or Wendy Zomelefers book if you want a follow up on the meantime.

[@andybaldman]

@@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt That would be phenomenal. I love all of the other aspects of this channel, but that's the one part I haven't been able to decipher from the vids (though I do have the repository of book PDF's, which I'm just starting to dig into). Thanks for changing the way I see the world, Joey. I really do appreciate your work here. (And I love watching your sub count tick up every day. You're going to be at a million subs in no time. Hope you're ready for it.)

[@TristanJCumpole]

I'm guessing you caught the total eclipse out in the Atacama?

[@slimpkns7864]

I suggest just glueing a small piece of foam or screen over the mic hole to cut the wind.

[@Aighthandle]

Slim Pickens the wind is part of the asmr

[@patterguitsit7124]

Feel free to instigate me in every video. Don't get to pc cause it will be boring.

[@itwouldntsurpriseme]

I'm feelin' instigated, an' I like it

[@jonassalk1387]

Some of those plants look tough enough to grow on Mars.

[@thedudegrowsfood284]

we should start a gofundme to purchase a Mars rover for Tony. If anybody can find life there, he can.

[@cacogenicist]

Chert basically _is_ chalcedony, yes? Along with flint, jasper, and agate? It's all micro/crypto-crystalline quartz.

[@thetwopointslow]

So how stuffed with coca leaves are your pockets?

[@jasminewood395]

Wow, coreocactus fruit really looked like a fresh branch popping out, there was clearly loads of them, all identical so I don't doubt they are the fruit... But that is an odd variation on the theme... Then again you can kind of say that about all cacti, still extra odd tho... Could really hurt somebody if ya slap am around wit dat!

[@cacogenicist]

What's the alkaloid content of _Echinopsis atacamensis?_

[@metaparcel]

You could easily start one of those group tour businesses where you take a bunch of plant lovers or whatever to different places in the world. It wouldn't have to be a large group of people either. I'm sure people have told you but people would pay a premium to be cursed at high up in the Andes looking at fossilized roses.

[@vutEwa]

The Tubes is also a rock group :)

[@3dwezzy740]

say i belly floped on an echinopsis atacamensis what do think would happen

[@mickeythemaltipoo3756]

At this point I'll pay somebody to touch my fuzzy 😂

[@chuckpack3327]

Get a furry cover for the mic. Or glue a small piece next to it so it covers it. Should help with the wind noise. Awesome video.

[@adammohler9928]

Oh ya its a flower. But u got it all right

[@igot99problemsbutmyaltaint81]

Well Good Mornin to ya too ya goofy bastid Thanks again for the info bro

[@sarasmr4278]

I read that in his voice, well done

[@metalicminer6231]

Eat your fucking heart out sir David Attenborough. New subscriber, great bit of botany.

[@lithostheory]

Mammoth hair cactus.

[@cgriggsiv]

Is that white sand or is that snow after all you are up at 15,000 feet

[@jasminewood395]

He said its a salt flat

[@Youtubeexpert420]

First 5 seconds "good morning assholes" Me: subscribed

[@nicknomski8399]

About 14,100 feet altitude, pretty damn high there