The Tumor of Sprawl, Remedied by Halophytes and Rare Cacti

Again we return to #Gypsum, this time in the promised land of Southern Utah - where the rednecks dance on cancerous housing developments, the cows shit chocolate and Pediocactus sileri grows on nearly barren gypsum hills. Gypsum endemic plants of Southern Utah quell the pain of life in this culturally bleak wasteland.
#Pediocactus sileri
#Arctomecon humilis
#Physaria whatheshit
Join us as we take you on another profanity-laden tour of some of the evolutionary wonders in the world of botany.
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/ crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
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[@jmpattillo]

I drove through Hurricane Utah a few years ago and thought this is what it would look like if we colonized Mars and decided our first buildings should be a Walmart and some retirement condos.

[@xyzy1]

For the uninitiated, it is pronounced hur-i-cun

[@LichenDragon]

Something very wholesome about a random dude wandering through the Utah desert spreading cactus seeds and making sure they're in good spots to grow.

[@nikocat3481]

I know right, he's like a modern Johnny Apple Seed, but funny and smart af.

[@onemoreguyonline7878]

I'd eat peyote and wander the desert with this guy to spread cacti

[@cwetfeet]

One of the things on my bucket list after I retire is to travel around the southwest with a botanist, archeologist, geologist, and a psychologist. It will never happen but this is pretty fucking close. Thank you for doing these.

[@2sk21]

Me too. When I walk around my neighborhood looking at plants, I can almost hear Tony's voice narrating what I'm seeing.

[@theboxcaradventurer1874]

I'd read that book.

[@fossilman2]

yah the time represented by evolution in progress and geological layers speaking of vaster reaches of time gone by, makes our present seem infinitesimally fleeting.

[@swaddington9399]

@@2sk21 I can now too. And I can also hear his critique of suburban sprawl now too. Its oddly comforting somehow

[@AriIceland]

You forgot philosopher!

[@larmacg]

Highlight of my day. I live in the Scottish Highlands surrounded by the moorland mosses, bryophytes and heathers. It lifts my soul to see the plant life where you are.

[@cgriggsiv]

The Scottish Highlands are beautiful places well You are blessed

[@larmacg]

I am indeed blessed. I was thinking of experiencing desert flora and forna rather than relocation. I like the tumult of weather and the ancient Caledonian Pines here 😉

[@malkie638]

Love the Caledonian Pines, Glen Garry to Glen Elg then over the sea to Skye on the Corran ferry 😉 is a great journey

[@b.a.d.2086]

@@cgriggsiv Basically overgrazed destroyed forests.

[@b.a.d.2086]

@@jtrose6995 SHUSHSSS! The tumor will hear you.

[@jeffreyseymour2369]

@8:45 "There is a storm on the horizon. I mean that literally and figuratively."

[@snowstrobe]

Most poetic.

[@Emiliapocalypse]

Come for the plants, stay for the social commentary.

[@itsacorporatething]

Emiliapocalypse for me it’s the opposite

[@AriIceland]

@@itsacorporatething Both for me! - Amazing content!

[@mathdesm9306]

The guys like a cholo Attenborough, shit just goes trough your ears like silk

[@RobertBardos]

I don’t even give a fuck about plants and I want to learn with this dude. Great stuff!

[@anon6056]

@@AriIceland same here

[@smcic]

This is the best channel on the you tubes.

[@Wintersoxfan77864]

100%

[@adisonlandon9883]

Seriously, have we had enough of this cancerous sprawl? So many people without homes and we need to tear up land for these aesthetic and ecological nightmares of american greed.

[@smcic]

To add to it, all of the affordable homes are being demolished to build McMansions in their place. It really is cancerous.

[@Randomeaninglessword]

@@smcic Feeling that vibe where I live right now. They keep cutting down forests to build these really high-priced cul-de-sacs.

[@cgoodm]

Not to mention that greenfield development is often subsidized by municipalities incurring the infrastructure costs of lifetime operation. So the developer's quick buck made on behalf of the nimby saps bigoted land speculating tendencies are being fed by your local tax dollars. I wonder why I switched majors from environmental science to urban planning? I guess I thought I couldn't get any more depressed lol.

[@GeorgeMonet]

Or how they build ever more sprawling single floor commercial shopping centers cause retail pays higher rent even though one hundred away you already have three commercial shopping centers full of businesses struggling to pay their rents! No one wants to build moderate sized and moderately priced apartments because the rent they'd collect simply wouldn't be as high as what they could land if a failing retail business moves in for two years before folding. And the dumb dumbs working ain the local bureacracy greenlight the shopping center cause the developers promise it will bring in more jobs and tax revenue. Yeah more minimum wage slave jobs.

[@everettduncan7543]

@@Randomeaninglessword Antonia, Missouri: I saw it in action. Just to make a lake and a fake community

[@pissheadpete9320]

“You see things vacationing on a motorcycle in a way that is completely different from any other. In a car you’re always in a compartment, and because you’re used to it you don’t realize that through that car window everything you see is just more TV. You’re a passive observer and it is all moving by you boringly in a frame. On a cycle the frame is gone. You’re completely in contact with it all. You’re in the scene, not just watching it anymore, and the sense of presence is overwhelming. That concrete whizzing by five inches below your foot is the real thing, the same stuff you walk on, it’s right there, so blurred you can’t focus on it, yet you can put your foot down and touch it anytime, and the whole thing, the whole experience, is never removed from immediate consciousness.” ― Robert M. Pirsig

[@sapphirestrm]

I feel much better, in fact this was prescribed to me by my daughter (in place of COVID news). Thank you!

[@chris-yx6vp]

Your voice and your knowledge comfort me even more now than ever. Thank you.

[@cartwheels4amile]

As a 4x4 guy myself I'll say this to my fellow drivers: stay on the trails and drive respectfully so we can all enjoy these areas. Much of the fun of OHV driving is getting to explore the unique beauty that the desert landscape offers... so keep it nice for your children and grandchildren and STAY ON THE TRAILS.

[@coier1]

Solidarity from Greece amazing videos as usual comrade your adventures are inspiring, keep spreading awareness and fighting. I wish you best of luck stay safe and strong, eat well and rest well.

[@christiansky942]

Γειά σου φίλε

[@wolfbear7]

We Agree. We call it the disease. No land, no nature, nothing. I lived in Manhattan (NYC), Hollywood, Glendale, Ca, and Tujunga where my mortgage company tried to screw me over. I moved to 10 acres of high desert serenity between the 14 and 15 freeways.. I love it. I love plants and animals so I'm having a great time. Your attitude is very close to mine. I love your channel. Thank You.

[@camgood3097]

"You can sit in a can on wheels all day" lol. It's so true. Everything you say is completely true.

[@JuCo2010]

I know little to nothing about botany but this channel inspires me to learn me. The dry humor is great as well.

[@thedudegrowsfood284]

Bit of an Edward Abbey flavored rant at the beginning. Me like.

[@lylelay]

Appropriate, as he's only a few miles from Wolf Hole, Abbey often used it as his address

[@karengallagher1959]

Mr. Santoro, I was just going to say "growth means cancerous tumors, too!", but you already made the point. The natural beauty of Utah is stunning, and it's sickening to see humans tearing it up once again. Keep doing what you're doing; you're a true gem.

[@ruthmusser4449]

Drive a mile, throw out a beer bottle. Open another. Mfers make me sick. I can't hike without seeing coyote shit full of foil or plastic.

[@nathanwestfall9412]

I love desert life, I was born in Nevada. It's all gorgeous. Thank you for sharing!

[@memylastname9972]

Your knowledge of botany and geology is just beyond belief and your narration absolutely cracks me up. Sir, I take my hat off to you.

[@gps9308]

Thanks for this we really needed it today. Amazing work!

[@Tatterdemalion-77]

Imagine a life where you spend 10 hours or more driving your SUV to and from work, then choose to spend your weekend driving around a 4-wheeler or something. Good practice for a later life in a mobility scooter I guess. Never walk anywhere again, the American Dream!

[@jwilli726]

The east is already so relentlessly developed I'm used to it, but there's something particularly troubling about seeing the "wild" west so suburbanized

[@lilmattmondays6814]

Yeah it’s getting there

[@benmccallum9638]

A bit of me dies every time I go near developments, what makes me spew more is knowing the fuckin amazing flora that gets dispatched of to put that shit there. All the the house roofs are the same dull grey. Kids need nature and colour, not more dullness. Love these flora vids dude. I fuckin love micro flora, well actually every thing. So many of these desert vids have heaps of similar plants and conditions to South Australian deserts. Painted desert out of Coober Pedy has heaps of crazy endemics species living on breakaway country with gypseous soils.

[@brendafallos3796]

Who is going to be left that can afford these places I wonder? They keep building stack n packs too but the ones they already built are empty. It is confusion for sure.

[@DavidAtchison121]

Thank you for posting more frequently. Your videos are helping me deal my any daily anxiety.

[@elsydro8064]

Cup of coffee and this video, love to learn from this guy

[@joyg2526]

You're like Johnny Appleseed if he cussed a bunch and spread native plant seed instead apple seeds.

[@camgood3097]

Johnny Appleseed was from Leominster, Massachusetts (just a few miles from where I grew up, in Ayer, MA). You can see da big red apple on the Welcome sign ahn da highway... He was the original hippie, and he wore a pot on his head (possibly because he was kicked in the head by a horse during his younger years).

[@Emiliapocalypse]

Cam Good so that’s why the Leominster sign has an Apple, I never knew. Used to pass it driving to western Mass

[@camgood3097]

@@Emiliapocalypse same here. I just learned this a few years ago, and I passed by that sign for decades without ever even thinking about why there was an apple. I think it might have been because Leominster is also known for being the birthplace of plastic (I visited the plastic factory on several field trips as a kid)..

[@joyg2526]

@Gene Beuglet Someone should've told Johnny that lol He did all that work for nothing

[@scottschaeffer8920]

Amen brother! Here in the Midwest, we’re even more brilliant-we pave over and build on the richest farmland in the world. OMG!

[@benjaminmurray5552]

Rodents, birds, and small reptiles are going extinct in some places because of invasive cats and dogs brought in by these sprawling tumors. I wonder how far you went from that suburb in the beginning, and if that area has seen any recent reductions in native fauna. Like you were saying, that cactus you spread seeds for might have its natural dispersal disrupted by these tumors.

[@cpgamer117]

Bit late on this video, but having lived in St. George for my high school years and then gone on to work in the house construction field there, you're totally on the money about the lifestyle there. People building bigger homes than they need, going into debt with boats and big mormon SUVs and trucks, working a rat wheel job to keep their 5 child families alive. It's really depressing to see but it just keeps expanding.

[@snuugumz]

Nice. Two of my favourite things to wake up to: the spectacular colours and textures of Utah’s geology, and the dulcet tones of he who films it oh-so-expertly, the tattooed love dago with the viper’s tongue and the artist’s eye. Ya wanna learn? Stick around. Oh, is his swearing a deal-breaker? Umm, ‘bye! Whassamatta, are ya scared that Jesus won’t love you no more if you listen to dis guy’s sparkling commentary? Then allow me to set you straight and direct you to page one, chapter one of The Gospel According To Saint George of 113th Street: “Fear not the Words, For there are No Bad Words, but there are Bad Intentions, and Bad Thoughts.” So don’t be a fuckin’ stiff, lighten up and listen to what this occasionally wildly entertaining gent has to say, and, who da fuck knows. Ya just might learn something.

[@louisepickett]

what she said

[@lunkerjunkie]

To paraphrase Shakespeare There is nothing good or bad but the thoughts that make it so. Are you from the st g?

[@snuugumz]

Aaron Eggleston Ach, no, sir: the St George I refer to is how I like to think of the late, great George Carlin, who was a firm believer that there are no bad words, only bad intentions and bad thoughts. Sorry for the confusion.

[@lunkerjunkie]

@@snuugumz copy that. I shoulda put that together myself.

[@karengallagher1959]

Indeed!

[@AndrewJohnClive]

Ah. It’s a pleasure listening to your sanity.🙏🏻❤️

[@markbelote3729]

Halophytes are interesting as are you, being on lockdown, quarantine, you are my springtime , thank you space cowboy.

[@earlyray8495]

Your videos are so fascinating

[@Joemama555]

Any chance you could film in 60 frames a second so the panning around is less blurry and hard to see? The little rocks and small details combined with the MPEG compressing of the video make a smere of a collage... Love your educational work!

[@jimcusack433]

This is great journalism as well as botany. America's residential-only zoning policy was created by the Oil Industry after they had bought up and destroyed much of the public transports systems. Edward Teller warned against this in his 1953 address when he coined the term 'greenhouse effect'.

[@issacsnee6318]

Thanks for what you do. This is my new favorite channel. Also love the way the dog posted up.

[@anon6056]

You're not too harsh on the sprawl. It's actually nice knowing that I'm not alone in my low opinions of it I still hope I can do something to change it. Like you do

[@kariburk9364]

Incredible landscape. I spend 9 months of the year devotedly entrenched in landscape maintenance for my bread & butr and you, good sir, add factful fascination to my 'work' with your "botanizing on the full frontal landscape'' and whatnot. Sending thanks for your excellent vid work & best wishes from the mountains of the West Kootenays in Beautiful British Columbia Canada

[@PowerTom286]

Beautiful

[@thefunkosaurus]

Freaking sweet out there!! Some of the best views in the West. Plants. Rock. Thanks. GFYS

[@Slugos45auto]

Botany and humor in one place. You're a funny man Joey...

[@SuperDaveP270]

Love your vids of course but you have said bunches of times how you hate cows. Cows are not exactly bright, but I don't think they are as dumb as people like to make them out to be. They are not typically allowed to showcase their abilities because that is detrimental to hamburger or milkshake production. But when left to their own devices, they act like every other herd animal, gathering in groups for protection and care. I once came up on a herd of Holsteins and one was wallowing around on the ground bellowing like mad, about to give birth. The rest of the herd formed a semicircle around her even though I was on the other side of a fence. The would stamp and snort, and being dairy cows there were no bulls in there. As I went down the fenceline they rotated with me. It was quite an interesting experience. Not to mention how I have seen herd of 150+ head of cows just always go to their correct stalls and stations all on their own, hardly ever made any mistakes. Beef cattle are a bit different. Most of the times when we see beef cattle, we see them rounded up and crowded in, getting ready for shipment or even slaughter. They are lost and confused, which to a herd animal is pretty devastating. Pretty much all wild herd animals tend to be heavily preyed upon by anything that can bring one down so they tend to be fearful and skittish and even more so when isolated from their herd, and cows still own a lot of that. Very different, to be sure, but I do believe a little underestimated. All of the problems that I personally have with cows are not with cows, but with people, and the whole market for beef and dairy that puts cows in this position of taking up and polluting way too damned much space on this planet. Just my two cents I guess.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

I don't so much literally hate the animals themselves. That'd be kind of pointless, not to mention a waste of energy. I just hate the fact that they're everywhere, spraying liquid shit in 30 directions solely so sedentary lifestyles can keep shoveling cheeseburgers into their mouths only to end up dying of heart attacks at age 60. But yes, cows are also somewhat stupid. I mean, there's no way that 10k+ years of selective breeding for docile (stupid) traits hasn't had an effect. Ever been around bison? The internal wiring is a bit different. And it makes sense. Wouldn't want to breed an animal that wasn't easy to control. Hard to make hamburger out of smart animals, the poor bastards.

[@danc3868]

@@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt remind you too much of our own domestication? I get that.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

@@danc3868 if I knew it was this easy to trigger vegans by talking shit on cows I would've started earlier.

[@Wintersoxfan77864]

thanks bud.

[@melvboi-nd1br]

I've been watching your videos for quite a while and I gotta say, it's surreal to see you do this where I live. I moved to st George about 2 years ago and I've been deeply intrigued by the geology and plants in the area ever since, and it's cool to see someone explain what a lot of the things are that I've been looking at this whole time

[@TheOneTheyCallTim]

1:59 I am so happy to hear someone else preach this. You are speaking my mind. That's not living your life, that's living some bullshit fantasy society makes you think is 'normal' but it's really all just keeps you broke, unfulfilled, and depressed. Fuck 'normal', it's overrated. Preach on!!

[@superfluousscience2960]

Tony giving impeccable social commentary as usual 👍

[@sldulin]

Another good one. Nice rants & excellent camera work. I'm often curious what relative ph of those soil types are.

[@southwesthardypalms]

Utah native here, they are around 8 - 8.5 PH

[@WayneTheSeine]

I hated to see this one end. The Southwest is so frigging beautiful. Like someone else posted, I would love to travel the area with a geologist and botanist. I usually take a trip out west every year but have missed the last 2 years ...... Your vids help feed my head. As for the hideous houses....will they ever learn that less is more, simplicity is genius and quality has no fear of time. That shit will be falling apart in less than 20 years.

[@gabijones2445]

Stay well, thanks for the video. The very end made me laugh.

[@hoosierhiver]

My neighbor is a truck driver, on his days off he drives around in his truck aimlessly, sometimes just sitting in his truck in the middle of the road.

[@judeteoh_75]

the start of this episode was the best thing Ive ever heard

[@fiorideisole]

Thanks for being real, dude. Really needed to watch this today.

[@rlskeers]

I live here in STG, and i love what you'r doing in your vids. Thanks for the education.

[@SayHelloLeah]

He is so knowledgable!! He is literally full of facts I'm impressed

[@tangosierra1]

University of Utah Red Butte Gardens have a conservation department which grows most of the endangered endemic plants in the region, including Pediocactus siliri.

[@cynergy4]

When my dad lived in the desert, my step-mother told me not to walk barefoot in the desert. I did anyway and ended up with a section of dried cholla in my foot. One of the most painful things I've ever experienced! Atriplex confertiflora is one of my all time fave plants, I find them gloriously beautiful but then I'm a bit odd. They are a beautiful lime green in spring, and by autumn they start turning beautiful oranges and yellows. I find some of them to be kinda Rasta looking. I'm part desert rat on my dad's side, love it there as long as it isn't summer. Bladderpod is a nice plant, but it doesn't smell so good

[@henrydaniels5889]

Thank you for everything you do

[@StanTheObserver-lo8rx]

Garden centers sell Gypsum as clay soil softeners. I guess as it softens it also poisons? They don't mention that! Yeah,I've tried it. Never noticed any difference and never bought another sack since. I would guess not only are the plants in the vid salt tolerant.but not needed,but also have a need for extremely high Ferrous needs? Now,Iron I use with great results..garden and aquarium plants..love iron as long as its chelated. In Utah..so much iron no chelation needed I guess. Love the dog. Just checking out the scene. Those ears listening for gophers or mice underground. Does he do that hop thing and pounce? My old Aussie Shepherd ( my genius dog) would do that. A trip to watch.

[@Wonderhussy]

I could watch him bagging on housing developments and their inhabitants all day 😆

[@Deipnosophist_the_Gastronomer]

I really enjoy the way you explain the relationship between the various plants and the soil types.

[@numbgirlcrybby]

man, i love this guys dog. what a cutie

[@bluepacificsurf]

Listening to your intro, you would understand Bill Bryson's book, A Walk in the Woods.

[@charlesfredrick4789]

Great video unbelievable scenery!

[@catheriner999]

I like that Atriplex plant you looked at, the fact that it has those salt crystals and effectively beats the soil's salt content to reverse the osmosis other plants would face is really cool. Imagining how something like that evolved to make that non-intuitive leap - instead of trying to reduce it's own salt intake it's maxing it out - that's really something else.

[@skimND]

Great explanation of the osmotic potential in the halophytes.

[@ealaibracket1]

This virus has taught us that the world will be fine when all the humans are gone. Nothing gets my heart pitter-pattering like cryptobiotic crust. That's gneiss.

[@curioussoul6059]

Tbh, I don't think anyone is worried about the planet. When people say "save the planet", (like 99% of the time) they mean "save humanity".

[@samschocket5388]

To the moon ,Mars n beyond!!!Our future&destiny!!!

[@vencent8329]

ealaibracket1 the world will fine if all leader die at the same time 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@calamagrostis88]

I like to think of the corona virus as the revenge of the pangolins.

[@Hayley-sl9lm]

I had a professor who looked at pathogenic viruses in an ecological way as having a "kill the winner" strategy. The more the planet is filled with one species, reducing genetic diversity, the more likely viruses (which often are very host-specific) will be able to travel the globe. The viruses that are most sophisticated though don't make their hosts very sick...

[@jl9998]

Thank you.

[@MonoiLuv]

Here for the honest reflection on our ways .... The Tumor. Thanks for the fresh air, Tony.

[@demonorse]

"when there's a moron at the helm" HAHAHA you gotta watch every second of these things!

[@MyFaceInATube]

Just FYI, your videos might be the only thing that's keeping me from going nuts. In fact, you've replaced the news in my house. Thanks for keeping me grounded!

[@fordprefect80]

You'd like my job mate. My workplace is 3 mins drive away and I spend 8 hours a day pushing large garbage bins around a hospital. But I really should walk to work. Love your channel buddy.

[@JungleJayAdventures]

Very quickly becoming one of my favorite youtubers...

[@nickpeterson6647]

Edgy botanical outings, this is fun 😁

[@kitzkamp1]

You have nailed it!!

[@anthonyd1185]

Lmao at your advertisement at the end reminded me of the shop owners in the movie “Ernest scared stupid”

[@jonathanhamnett4044]

Great video! I miss the old block caps font so much...

[@TheEvilUmpire]

This fuckin guy's got me reading fuckin botany textbooks at 2 fuckin 30 in the morning. Swear to god...

[@nikocat3481]

Damn you roasted their asses high brow style, this is why I love your content so much. Plus your vids are surprisingly educational, keep doing you my dude. I especially like the promo at the end lol, thanks for providing such great entertainment in these trying times.

[@BigGrease1]

"You ever wonder what the aurochs were like? The wild ancestors of cattle? I bet they were a lot smarter." *mic drop*

[@tangosierra1]

I love the rant, I get angry when I go to Southern Utah as well.

[@burbman60]

Thanks bud!! loved it.

[@Quasar502]

Nice diversion. Thks

[@michaellangan9092]

We got a modern day southwestern Johnny Appleseed here.I Freeken love it.

[@kevintaylor1572]

You are great ! Botany and world observation , you're right on point ! Funny as hell !

[@crazykansan3026]

Thank you

[@patrickdobbels2342]

This is good. I learn a lot.

[@johnc6719]

So not one other person in the distance from that development is out there hiking and exploring the geology and cool plants. That cactus Pediocactus sileri was named after the Kanab, Utah farmer Andrew L. Siler in 1883 who collected cactus to send to the famous botanist Dr. George Engelmann at The Missouri Botanic Garden. This one came from Pipe Springs, AZ. You were right. Siler was a white guy and he is definitely dead

[@yose6418]

The leaves at 25:00 look like Sporks!

[@ErikMeinhardtAnacortes]

You are never too old to learn something new. Until today (I am 59, btw) I had never heard of Circular DNA. Thanks T.

[@johnbarfoot79]

Hey! Love your videos. Is there any chance you can do a whole video on mosses?

[@secollier1009]

14:20 "Nobody told them that the 80's are over. Okay? Let it go. You're beautiful without it."

[@snowstrobe]

Bang on. [bom bom]

[@PseudoPhlegm]

you gave me a taste of that tumor. I NEED MORE

[@Love-tl2gh]

I love your words of f¥€kin wisdom,they are like Angel's singing. 👍👍 much love from your northern brothers.

[@olliepoplol5894]

“Do love the Mormons tho... always the most repressed, always have the weirdest kinks” yo I fucking love this guy

[@frankvanmeter3408]

the most honest person on y.t.

[@Nubic1]

Thank You! be well , friend.

[@thebabscast5154]

These no-walking layouts are inorganic. You totally get it. Cities or rural

[@alexistowles1497]

That Utah life .. great and interesting thank you