Cringey Anime Cat Woman Tries To Seduce DM IRL *NSFW*

[@dejaquejarmeunrato686]

Somewhere, out there, there's a DM cringing jelaously because he isn't being hit on by a weird catgirl

[@silence_dais]

Right? Like it's as if that GM made a Monkey's Paw wish and it really backfired on them.

[@fhuber7507]

The true neckbeard would have been all over that.

[@silence_dais]

@@fhuber7507 pretty sure most men would given the opportunity as the idea of a foxgurl waifu DnD nerd is hard to resist if you aren't in a relationship yourself.

[@Srksius2802]

Murphy's law. This kinda shit only happens to loyal already taken guys XD

[@Nildread]

@@Srksius2802 yeah, there's something strange that happens to everyone else when you're in a relationship. But that might be because if you aren't in a relationship strange things like this seem less strange.

[@linkbro4374]

this man *types* like his highest stat is charisma

[@Thewitchinthebasment]

i read that and immedietly thought Wait im a stat??(My name is..Yeah . sorry just had to say it. i hope you have a lovely day i love uour comment)

[@conlanrichichi2328]

Because it is

[@TheJim9191]

Thanks man lmao

[@EdwardTHead1776]

High charisma is one of the most influential stats IRL

[@LordRydag]

I didn't the cringe would come from op

[@PinataFreaks]

This is one of those situations where if the genders were reversed cops would have been called. Very much not ok behavior.

[@sasserine]

It came dangerously close to the cops being called, as is. A half naked woman, screaming in a public corridor, could easily have persuaded a witness to call them, even if she stopped short of making a fake allegation.

[@Moonorchidwolf]

Honestly, it's still really gross; it shouldn't be any more "okay" for a woman to sexually predate on a man.

[@DrZaius3141]

That's the thing though, if the roles actually were reversed, in addition to "feeling uncomfortable", there would be a definite sense of rape threat in the air. In this situation, the guy was always in control, nothing could ever happened without his consent, baring any drugs. With reversed roles, it's a different tale. So yeah, MRArons should look at this situation and wake up instead of feeling vindicated. Because there are many male "Annie"s who'd play wing man for attempted sexual assault and many male "Trish"es who fall madly in love with people who are in relationships and don't reciprocate those feelings. So all the man female "DM"s that get caught up have a much harder time stopping it, being how not all that many of them are likely to be in any rugby teams.

[@eo3927]

@@DrZaius3141 If you believe whatever the "Trish" in this situation was doing is arrest-worthy, I don't see why you'd think otherwise if the "Trish" was a man, even if a female version of the DM in this situation was more at risk. Unless you think it's the risk that should justify the arrest

[@DrZaius3141]

@@eo3927 "Risk" is a useless word in this context. "Threat" is what it's all about. The DM was never in any threat. He never felt threatened because he never had to feel threatened. Switch genders and the DM would have immediately felt threatened, because she was in a room with a lunatic that could overpower her. The actual "risk" as you so ignorantly deflected with might have been the same, but if someone were to threaten you with an unloaded gun, you'd still be rightfully afraid despite no real risk.

[@ginger424]

Even if he wouldn't be in a relationship, HE DIDN'T WANT IT. Consent guys, the problem here is consent.

[@lRedskull]

Confirmo

[@Coconut_Prrson]

Finally someone said it

[@whitestoneandy797]

Thank you. Men so often get generalized as always wanting sex or a woman's affection. Sometimes we don't want it. We chase but we're not animals.

[@needsLITHIUM]

@@numberbndl3763 there would be cries of "CREEP" and "RAPE" and dials to the police. This is one of my biggest pet peeves with gender double standards, the whole creepy rape vibes both genders give each other but them blame the other side for. Example 1: If a girl is scantily clad, and is raped, she was "asking for it" - NO SHE ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK WASN'T. Example 2: Rape is only if the victim is penetrated, so guys cannot be raped by a woman unless she uses a strapon or something - NO THEY ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK CAN BE RAPED; RAPE IS RAPE WHAT THE FUCK.

[@needsLITHIUM]

@@numberbndl3763 so many people claim to be egalitarians and shit, and then say some fuckshit like "you're a guy, you always want it. you must be gay" And most of the assholes who say this garbage are supposedly pro-lgbtqa+ feminist women, in all irony. Mainstream 4th wave feminism is just entitled faux-victimhood mixed with opportunism, cancel culture, and gaslighting, and makes them no better than the chauvinist bastards they're trying to combat. I may be a straight, cis male, but I am a feminist, I support gay, lesbian, bisexual, non-binary, transgendered peeps, and am all for equality and egalitarianism. My support for women is the same as my support for BLM - VIGOROUS. NOBODY should be attacked just because of who or what they are, or over some fucking label or something. That said, I do NOT condone hypocrisy, I do NOT condone double standards, and I do NOT support duplicitous fakers and manipulators trying to milk the suffering of others for their benefit. Amber Heard's and Jussie Smollett's of the world, FUCK THEM, because there are REAL victims out there who are DISMISSED, UNDERMINED, and DISCARDED EVERY DAY. THESE FUCKWADS GET THEIR STORY NATIONAL AND INTERNATIONAL TRACTION BECAUSE OF WHO THEY ARE, AND THEY'RE FUCKING LYING?! A black Nascar driver's crew made an honest mistake? OOOHHHH LET'S LUMP HIM IN WITH THE FAKERS. Actual rape or domestic violence victim? BETTER VICTIM SHAME AND VICTIM BLAME HER AND GAS LIGHT HER HALF TO DEATH, THEN CALL HER A LIAR AND A SLUT SO SHE HATES HERSELF. UUUUUUGGGGHHHHH MAKES ME RAAAAAGGGGGGEEEEE HOW ABUSIVE OUR SOCIETY IS TO LITERALLY EVERYONE. Even the supposed oppressors get the shit end of the stick, if you really look at it, so we're all miserable and we all hate each other and we all fear each other... huh. Who would gain from something like that?

[@Mae_Dastardly]

Alternate title: aggressive furry attempts to take advantage of defenseless himbo

[@ellasinclair3845]

*the better title

[@randomlygeneratedname]

The correct title

[@ladylilith6495]

Sad thing, as someone in the furry community, is that I knew someone who would have acted like this... only with a dash of Craig and even more manipulative to the point of near-physical abuse upon another friend of mine in the community, an event that caused genuine PTSD. Suffice to say I never had a session with her, thank fuck and it took my friend a couple years to begin recovery.

[@kyle21843]

i wouldnt necessarily say he was an idiot but definitely didnt pick up on the social cues that this girl was a fucking nut case. sounds like high intelligence and dump wisdom like he said in the video

[@nohintshere]

this title, unfortunately, can be applied to many situations i have witnessed and/or experienced in my life

[@MyrKeys]

You can tell this guy is a DM because this story was amazingly written.

[@the4given196]

he rolled a nat 20 on the storywriting performance check

[@XX-cx7rt]

Lmfao I'm loving all the "you can tell he's a DM," and the "Indeed, his highest stat is charisma," comments. They're absolutely making my night please keep it up

[@gentlemansgambit1018]

He is a poet. His descriptions are amazing.

[@hazukichanx408]

I don't agree about wisdom being his dump stat though - he had the sound judgment to be one of the male persons in this world with the courage and integrity to say "no thanks" to random sex with a woman he isn't into. He also somehow avoided becoming the villain of this wacky story (except to the two people actively plotting to break up a seemingly happy, healthy relationship). A true dudebro would have 'tapped' that fox girl, cheated on his girlfriend without a thought, then blacked out drunk after. But... y'know... It's okay to not be a dudebro.

[@growingoaks]

Lmao you can just be well written and educated. Thats an option too.

[@jasonrobertson9618]

I agree Annie is the one to blame here... she was his friend, she knew he was in a relationship, and she should have known better. The crazy girl was being inappropriate but it was Annie that was actively betraying his trust.

[@benni3566]

Agreed. She was also being very unkind to Trish by encouraging her to go after someone that she knew was unavailable. It's like telling a kid to stick their hand in a wasp nest because there's candy inside.

[@Nildread]

@@benni3566 makes me wonder if Annie was encouraging Trish to think the DM's in game flirting were his real feelings.

[@benni3566]

@@Nildread Right? I'm thinking she was probably a Narcissist who was bored and looking for some entertainment.

[@Nildread]

@@benni3566 she did make it clear that she thought his current gf wasn't good for him, as if that's her business.

[@manace]

I just dont understand how everybody automatically assumes this girl is crazy tho? Anime obsessed, sure. Poor judge of character, definitely. Smooth operator, hell no! But why does everyone assume she's crazy. She had a crush on a guy and he wasn't into it. That's not crazy that's life.

[@jorgehuertas3995]

Man, what an absolute chad. Physics, rugby, DnD, loyal, grounded and the list goes on

[@TheJim9191]

stop, you're making me blush.

[@mickytherat8020]

@@TheJim9191 the madman himself :0

[@succulentravioli954]

@@TheJim9191 :0

[@mikkurzhal7390]

Honestly, I have way more often met friendly golden retriever dudebros than I have sexist brute dudebros. Despite being a bookworm nerd with social anxiety, I'd much rather want a garden variety dudebro than a self-proclaimed "intellectual" who thinks being smart is a personality trait.

[@ub3rfr3nzy94]

@@mikkurzhal7390 Because the stereotype exists in American 90-00s movies and not in the real world, but everyone like to pretend like it's real. Men aren't 2-dimensional.

[@rory_person_being]

See, this is what we in the biz like to call "sexual harassment"

[@henryhunter9643]

Nuh-uh. Because it happened to a dude it doesn't count. That's how it works you know. Because men ALWAYS want sex. (that's sarcasm BTW)

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

@@henryhunter9643 you just described most feminism in Poland. Here, have a pizza 🍕

[@billcipher826]

@@veryangryduckpl2122 I think that's just modern feminism

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

@@billcipher826 F%$#, you are right. Have a pizza 🍕

[@massivejuicer1635]

@@veryangryduckpl2122 have nothing important to say but I m hungry. Can i have a slice?

[@UMCorian]

Hissing when she gets rejected was where I lost it myself. At least that's commitment to the roleplay!

[@dai7v7]

I usually hiss at people so(inser vision meme) Maybe I am Trish

[@thesaltycat9493]

@@dai7v7 Uh oh.

[@yuli161-daedalus]

@@dai7v7 HANS GET ZHE FLAMMENWERFER

[@tessablol309]

I hiss at my bf whenever I'm mad at him for something and not in the mood for kisses and cuddles. lol my bf is also a DM but didn't have to force myself onto him lol.

[@italucenaz]

I think she's just too much of a furry, it's not acting

[@Toxicgamerdog]

I like to imagine crit crab is an actual crab, trying to hold a d20 with his little fiddler crab claws

[@NotAHologram]

That would be cute

[@theblackantonio]

I mean, there's no evidence that he isn't.

[@calibricalypso]

That mental image is the cutest thing

[@ellenbrooks8061]

Aw, that's so cute!

[@thecursed01]

crab is the ultimate form of evolution. everytome in history when there wasn't crab, crab evolved. restistance is futile. there will be crab.

[@The_Byzantine_Ottoman]

Honestly this "annie" sounds like a real piece of work. "Trish" is clearly unwell, which while it doesn't excuse her actions does explain it. "Annie" is being a terrible friend to OP and just a bad person in general. "Dave" is a good friend though, and it's obvious they planned to ambush OP when he wasn't there because he would have been a good enough wing man to prevent it. EDIT: Ah, Crit Crab agrees.

[@gulgaffel]

dunno if you'd call it a wingman. However it would be one of few situation where being a cockblock would be a good thing. Hail Dave the goodest cock blocker

[@vanzero356]

Naw it's a wingman. Wingmen also help keep the threats away as much they help complete the mission. At least, a good wingman would.

[@Former_Halo_Fan]

"Annie" is a terrible friend to "Trish" too. Not only encouraging her plan but actively supporting it. Also uh... regarding her terrible friendship with OP. There's also the problem of her not understanding why her friend doesn't want to cheat on his girlfriend with a girl he barely knows and never met with outside of a few D&D sessions. Or her assuming that "Trish" and OP were some sort of perfect match while clearly not knowing enough about either of them. She might have a few screws loose herself.

[@mikkurzhal7390]

@@gulgaffel lmao the goodest cockblocker I shall give that title to any friend who chases off bar creeps from now on.

[@OlTimeyChara]

Rich is just there

[@wadehansen3085]

NPC'S 👏 ARE NOT 👏 CONSENT Well not normally anyway

[@Gatesealer89]

that is not a phrase that i have ever heard or thought ever needed to exist. This story has shown how wrong i was.

[@king0vitrial]

I'm gonna use this. Thank you.

[@williamtimonen6814]

NORMALLY?

[@-kenik9629]

@@williamtimonen6814 This is a Magical World~

[@peterlane7128]

Amen, brotherman 🙌🙌🙌

[@Kd320schannel]

You know without context like one of those students sitting outside; watching a basically naked woman with foxears on pouting and storming down the sidewalk away from someones house while the guy is standing in the doorway in disbelief has some other hilarious connotations come to mind.

[@s-e-e-k-i-n-g]

if annie can't even respect the boundaries of other people and their relationships, there's no way she respected Dave's. glad dave got out of that one.

[@henryhunter9643]

I wonder if there were other issues in their relationship and that was the final straw, or if he was smart enough to tell that if she would try and encourage his bestie to cheat, she absolutely would cheat on him, so drop her like the hot garbage she was.

[@OffbeatWorlds]

Oh Annie is ABSOLUTELY the one to blame here. Yes Trish had some screws loose, but Annie not only encouraged her unwanted flirtatious behavior fully knowing that OP had a girlfriend, but helped plan a deeply inappropriate attempt at seduction which could only wind up with Trish being humiliated (seriously, wtf did she think would happen here?). Good for Dave for breaking up with that awful person. Edited to fix typos

[@NachtroseSVK]

The only horror part of the story ist, that they pulled it through knowing that the DM had a GF ( and probably had not a problematic relationship ). The DM being single, this might be a funny/weird story about "how i met your mother". Having a few screws loose doesn't mean she isn't a ok-ish girl outside the table, may it be a little kinky or quirky. I myself have one girl friend ( not my GF ) that can be a little psycho at times, but still one of my favorite friends.

[@july7498]

@@NachtroseSVK Not really

[@july7498]

@@NachtroseSVK You sound a bit desperate

[@NachtroseSVK]

@@july7498 and you read that where exactly?

[@Nildread]

@@july7498 there's a difference between saying "I'd have gone with it if I was single" and saying "sure, what she did was weird. But it's not the worst possible situation. It reads more like someone that has some strange ideas as far as mating rituals go, rather than someone who should be in a mental hospital"

[@LashNSmash]

This is a nice ending, Dave got out of a relationship with a girl willing to help another male someone cheat... if boundaries mean that little to her she would also cheat so Dave my lad, that’s a bullet dodged

Agreed, if she doesn't respect others relationships then she does not respect her own, all it would take is a few drinks, a hot guy and snorting some coke in a nightclub toilet.

[@kashuwullguy2334]

Dave got out of a relationship with a girl who helped another woman sexually harass his friend*

[@arcradire1559]

@@kashuwullguy2334 Both of your statements are correct.

[@Nickle_King]

Yaaaaaa. Even if your fantasy is that cute girl waiting in your bed, it happening in real life is REALLY creepy. People think most men would jump straight out of their pants at that situation, and sure some might, but most I know personally...no. Just. No.

[@gamingmaster6377]

TESTOSTERONE LEVELS ARE LOW OVER HERE

[@Neo-Bladewing]

See, the action isn't what most guys (most people in general, actually) look for. It's performing the action with a person they genuinely love. Even if someone is drop-dead gorgeous and madly lusting after you, if they're a total psycho the discomfort overcomes the sexual desire.

[@gamingmaster6377]

@@Neo-Bladewing SHUT UP, NERD I DONT WANT NERDS HERE

[@LunaBirbosa]

@@gamingmaster6377 your username is gaming master

[@Former_Halo_Fan]

@@LunaBirbosa that is how you know he is an ultrachad. /s

[@StabYourBrain]

So is this the female equivalent to a fedora wearing "Nice Guy" ? The Fox Ear wearing "Nice Girl" ?

[@fangsabre]

Well, to her credit it doesnt sound like Trish spent the next several days trash talking OP all over social media trying to ruin his life.

[@kevinb5417]

There are a LOT of those in the world of roleplaying, most unfortunately.

[@derekbrown5420]

@@kevinb5417, oh? Where, exactly, might one find them? ... Uh... Asking for a friend...

[@drago3036]

@@derekbrown5420 Are Amino's still a thing these days? I mean, maybe it was because it was an UNDERTALE one, but there was a LOT of those when i still used this kind of social media... XD

[@justsomeguywholikeswater3566]

@@drago3036 You especially find creeps on MHA amino. Females and males alike try to force gay ships onto you if you're roleplaying a canon character.

[@kingzeeb319]

*hisses at me like a ca* "bruh" That sequence alone made me cry of laughter.

[@lilchristuten7568]

Well it made the op laugh too so...

[@naheleshiriki5496]

Like seriously, what in the actual hell? Also what the hell is wrong with Annie, she's mad because op was a good boyfriend and didn't cheat with her friend?

[@funnyvalentine6360]

@@naheleshiriki5496 Biased bitch, that's what she is.

[@dai7v7]

I usually hiss at people so I feel weird now TuT

[@coyote47713]

I feel like the anime catgirl thing is something you pull out after you start dating. Especially after talking about it with your partner first.

[@theuncalledfor]

Yeah, make sure your partner is either into it, or willing to put up with it for your sake.

[@davidkolak7923]

It wouldnt be that bat if she wasnt purring and hissing, because then maybe a bit later you cold ask her to put the ears of as well, like the purring is the most creepy shit ever Edit: this eould be acceptable only under the condition that the guy was singe.

[@someshyguy]

I imagine them looking like a character from that awful Cats movie.

[@CritCrab]

EEW NO GROSS STOP PLEASE NO WHY NOW THAT IMAGE IS BURNED INTO MY SKULL NO WHY

[@nicholas1888]

@ALYSON MATSON DEMONESS!!! BY THE HONORU OF MY CRAN, I SEND YOU BACK TO HELL

[@johnnysizemore5797]

AAAAAHHHHH, MY EYES , THEY BUUURNN ! CRITCRAB , HELP ME BLEACH THIS OUTTA MY EYES !......

[@ezekielellis7471]

In response to @someshyguy: Memory, all alone in the moonlight. I can dream of the old days, life was beautiful then. I remember, the time I knew what happiness was. Let the memory live again.

[@articusramos808]

Here is a bag of holding filled with fireball necklaces. Use them.

[@angelgorm8230]

Me: *having a calm and fairly uneventful evening* Also Me: *Checks Subscriptions* CritCrab: **Cringey Anime Cat Woman Tries To Seduce DM IRL *NSFW** Me: Aww shit, here we go again

[@devindeocharan8323]

I as well my guy and almost spit out my cup tea during multiple points in the video

[@ManuYoCom]

"The short-circuiting of the sanity wires in her brain". That's the most poetic burn I've ever read. Also the most brutal

[@FrogEnjoyer17]

OP is a born writer

[@qwer9676]

oh god I just realized critcrab now has his own crabsona that moves as he talks

[@mazingdaddid]

Hehehe... He's a Shelley...

[@burritodoggo122]

And it has a mustache.

[@davelemon8142]

He just has a dead crap on a stick and uses it as a puppet

[@Rhyxelz]

He has stills!!!

[@alistaircraig7849]

Fuckin stop it

[@Konpekikaminari]

It's funny (in a bad sort of way) how the one detail about Annie setting this up _completely_ changes my view on this whole mess, mostly on Trish I honestly feel more sorry for the lass than disgusted with her

[@G1NZOU]

True I feel like while she took it too far she likely did it with the encouragement of Annie. People do weird things they normally wouldn't do when they have someone egging them on. Annie should know better than to play matchmaker, especially with someone who is already in a relationship.

[@Konpekikaminari]

@@G1NZOU yhaa... Annie either held OP in very little regard or hated his GF with a burning passion to basically set up her "friend" for what's basically social suicide in case the plan failed

[@NCR_Trooper]

I love how this madlad of a DM was even ready to sacrifice his T-shirt to get her out of his bedroom xD

[@selflesswarrior]

I wouldn't want it anymore, I don't know if I'd be able to clean it enough to where I'd still have the mental and physical fortitude to even wear it again.

[@TheJim9191]

I never got that T shirt back either. I imagine she either burned it or it's part of a shrine at this point.

[@bardssinisterstories2607]

The edits doubled how disturbingly funny this was.

[@guttyjip]

BenBurn 123 yeah crabs edit game has picked up lately. New logo and everything, my man makin big moves

[@murrmurrr8276]

I lost it at the gnome for a second

[@bigpapajohnbacon5887]

BenBurn 123 the gnome at the beginning was my favorite

[@cheez-itman2784]

When she hissed and bruh sound effect played I died fsr

[@BrosBGaming]

Ive got so many loose screws i could start a hardware store.

[@leftistadvocate9718]

"get out of my room before I call the police" is the correct response in that scenario.

[@Raoul9753]

Empty threat, if he called the police, all she had to do was facry and claim he somehow assaulted her and he would be the one ending up in trouble...

[@leftistadvocate9718]

@@Raoul9753 I highly doubt that

[@Raoul9753]

@@leftistadvocate9718Take a look at the case Depp vs Heard and then say that again. And no, this is not an isolated one in a million case, Depp just was lucky enough to have evidence (not that its helping him much) and the case being public enough so people couldnt ignore it.

[@blueskylark9965]

Yo. Op was nearly raped. Like this genuine sexual harassment, and it is absolutely making my stomach churn. Like he was CLEARLY not consenting.

[@godspeedhero3671]

According to society, men are always consenting 100% of the time.

[@Lucifronz]

He was not "nearly raped". She at no point tried to hold him down or coerce him into sex. Once she was rejected, she ran out. She's weird, a bit crazy and clearly entitled, but do NOT start throwing around that term like a jackass when real rape is horrifying. This is a case of a crazy, rather selfish person, trying to steal herself a boyfriend in a cringy, possibly even sexual harrassment-y way. Rapists don't take no for an answer. All she did was run with her tail tucked between her legs apparently hissing the whole time (which again is very fucking weird) to soothe her ego after being turned down in a humiliating manner (which she brought on herself, but was reinforced by a shitty friend).

[@silence_dais]

Yeah under different circumstances, this would have been a cute story of how two nerds got together. Definitely agree that Annie is the real one to blame here. She doesn't like OP's GF, that's fine as you don't have to like them. However you shouldn't sabotage the relationship and use your friend to do it too, especially if your own partner would have been against it. Also I feel super bad for the three dudes as it sounds like the situation really killed their fun together as a group.

[@justanotherglorpsdaymornin5097]

you're telling me a chick and a fake friend conspire to get you alone with the (now naked) chick after you showed no interest in her and it's going to start a healthy loving relationship?

[@gandalftheantlion]

Just another Glorpsday morning I think he means that if they were both single and interested but the dm was shy or something. For some people this scenario sounds like a dream come true, but this guy already has a girl friend also is not that into anime stuff.

[@justanotherglorpsdaymornin5097]

@@gandalftheantlion I'm completely ignoring the anime stuff (because that doesn't really matter one way or another) but getting aroused during d&d, conspiring to get op alone in his house then striping and getting on his bed without his knowledge. Reverse the genders and you're calling the police for sexual assault.

[@gandalftheantlion]

Just another Glorpsday morning unless they like that kinda thing... but that’s true.

[@josephallen5976]

@Kuuryo it sounds like Annie was angling for some alone time with op or the other guy as well given her reaction too. Either way its fudged up

[@coranbaker6401]

"So put down your airships and your will to live." Ha! I've only ever had one of those! And it was already confiscated by the US Air Force in that Area 51 incident...

[@notoriouswhitemoth]

Joke's on them, an airship at least would've been useful!

[@articusramos808]

You got yours taken away? How fast did you go?

[@tranquilclaws8470]

The US Air Force confiscated your will to live?! Crazy!

[@supersaiyangplays7842]

Why would you try to hook someone up with a person that's already in a relationship? Shame on you Annie.

[@Nildread]

Me at the beginning: I know "player has crush in DM and attempts to seduce" is a typical trope/bad thing. But people have crushes on people, it happens. It all depends on how they handle it. me afterwards: no no no no no. handled poorly, handled poorly, handled poorly. Oof this is just weird, the DM was in a relationship. I don't even know.

[@rexmastersins9349]

This isn't just handled Poorly, its a planecrash. If you have a crush on a person in a relationship, get over it.

[@Nildread]

@@rexmastersins9349 agreed.

[@CareerKnight]

@@rexmastersins9349 If you have a crush on someone your opening move shouldn't be to try and have sex with them.

[@antekordic]

To be honest the only thing that confusses me in those situation is what the hell are girls/boys thinking. "Uhm let me just get this person out of relationship with my sexuality and then he'll be happy with me." Even if that fucking works what makes you sure they won't do it again??? I mean if you did it what stops another girl/boy to do the same? Literally like those people are dumb to rationally think or?

[@bibbobella]

Even if they hadn't been in a relationship this is..without a doubt..the worst fucking way I could see someone do this...attempting to fucking force your way on someone like that..disgusting. Even if she had kept the ears off and just tried to wait for him in his bedroom that would have been unacceptable..it puts him on the spot in a really uncomftable way.

[@HalfTangible]

0:13 Oh come on, crab, this can't possibly be worse than "roll Temperance to avoid having your way with the underage girl"

[@HalfTangible]

13:21 .......... Okay, so This might be worse just because it was IRL

[@goncalocarneiro3043]

I will say that while the first reflects what could be some mental problems and bad stuff, this case actually demonstrates boldness to act on it. So which one is worse depends on if you think imagination of something terrible is worse or acting on something somewhat lighter is worse.

[@SofaKingDead]

Which story is that?

[@HalfTangible]

@@SofaKingDead "Craig returns! The DM who broke the rules!" v=Q1tQMWXavfA

[@vakiova103]

HalfTangible I love watching the change of statement

[@niamhcorrigan3972]

The fact that they definitely knew his best friend would stop it and specifically mentioned him not being there as a good time to make her move on him is so predatory that I can't imagine either Annie or Trish being anything other than boundary-ignoring assholes

[@OrangeyChocolate]

“Her and Annie both did practical effects design,” explains everything to me. You really do get the weirdos on those kinds of courses. And I agree, Trish is *far* from blameless, but Annie is the real villain here. She enabled and encouraged Trish’s inappropriate behaviour rather than pulling her up on it like a real friend should, especially if Trish has some kind of mental illness, which I’m inclined to believe she does.

[@TheJim9191]

Honestly everyone on that course was wild. They threw great parties though.

[@G1NZOU]

I agree, if Annie was a good friend she'd have advised Trish that DM was taken, and that while it's ok to have a crush on him it's not ok to make him uncomfortable or just jump into his bed with no clear consent from his end.

[@alvarox951]

more than having a mental illness i think she is really into otherkin stuff...wich still can end up in pretty akward and cringie behavior

[@nothingtoseehere8771]

Given how crazy Annie acted in the end I'm pretty sure it's because she's got screws loose too.

[@ssgoko88]

@@alvarox951 randomly bringing in the trans community, cause you're just that nice and charming and gosh darn it people like you

[@theserpentslair8072]

So this is a Nice Girl's behavior in the wild. Nobody should do this. Gross.

[@wert1234576]

God I imagine it like a Pokemon battle but the [run] button is gone

[@MayHugger]

@@wert1234576 So an online battle.

[@Self-replicating_whatnot]

It's your t shirt or your sanity, take your pick.

[@alnu8355]

@@Self-replicating_whatnot depends on the shirt bro. Just kidding you can always buy a new shirt.

[@sheepking8440]

@@Self-replicating_whatnot the choice is obvious and it involves a shirtless British guy

[@thelogic2034]

I have met a few girls like this, they're insane. I have been hissed at and I have heard actual purring. I never thought it was physically possible for a human to purr until I heard it for myself.

[@yuki97kira]

Go for the girl that made perry the platypus noises. Shes a keeper

[@fluffynator6222]

Wait, are you serious about the purring?

[@mikkurzhal7390]

@@yuki97kira omg yes

[@mikkurzhal7390]

I mean I know how to make purring noises but thats more cause I've had cats since I was 6 years old and they seemed to like it when I made those noises. But also I would never in a million years make any cat noises towards another human.

[@DaddyHensei]

I realized a human could purr, from a stripper. 😂 Paid for a lap dance, neck was nuzzled and next thing I felt was purring. Lol. Ngl I liked it, honestly thought she was an actual cat.

[@jbark678]

"I'm a stereotypical dude-bro....I study physics...." Hmm....

[@veemie8148]

sounds like a king tbh

[@bloodfiredrake7259]

Knowledge and wisdom are different.

[@iamaunicorn1232]

You ever been to a tech school? That's where all the dude-bros end up. Physics or mechanical engineering. XD

[@zine51c]

The guy us basically a sorcerer high carisma some what smurt

[@alnu8355]

Lots of charamistic dude Bros are smart. I don't know if OP is near as charming nor charismatic as he describes himself. Just how charismatic are you if you have to tell everyone how charismatic you are? And what's with OP insisting he's a hollywood rom-com archytype? But, I digress. Unlike D&D were your characters are supposed to have a finite stat block ensuring they are probably not capeable of everything, real life is not near as fair. Edit: Nope, OP is real, confirmed it with Crit Crab in the comments. NVM.

[@kendrickrochelanzot2053]

Cringe, anime, cat, and seduce are bound to make a saucy story. The onetime the DM is the victim of unwanted flirting

[@amarareed2432]

This takes me back to my first few weeks in university, this guy was looking for people for his D&D group myself and others joined the final person who joined was this girl who looks like the hex manic from the pokemon games. She was soft spoken and didn't really talk much but I guess she was into the guy who started the campaign cause she would stalk the shit out of him, until one day he came back to his dorm room and she was there wearing one of his black dress shirt and nothing else. He made clear in earlier introductions that he had no interest in women but she thought she could change his mind.

[@Onnarashi]

Female privilege.

[@godspeedhero3671]

Idk, that girl sounds more based than deranged like the girl in the story.

[@bobthebuilder366]

​@@godspeedhero3671🤢🤮

[@KevShaw808]

Cringed. Underhanded to try and hook up with the guy when they knew he had a GF.

[@jinxtheunluckypony]

This is really bordering on sexual assault. I was seriously worried for op when he went back to his room. Anne and Trish are horrible friends.

[@eracer166]

“Friends”

[@lt-ug2pz]

honestly he should have reported her to the college for her behavior.

[@renoloverxoxo]

Jinx Jade honestly showing someone your genitals without consent is sexual assault. He said she was just wearing one of his shirts so he probably saw her junkmail.

[@jinxtheunluckypony]

renoloverxoxo You’re right. I wasn’t sure if that was sexual harassment or sexual assault and I kinda just guessed.

[@renoloverxoxo]

@@jinxtheunluckypony it depends on a number of factors, mostly where you livw

[@TheOniraf]

This dude has anime protagonist level of not having a clue.

[@TheOniraf]

@@ScottEproductions I disagree, actually it can be true for small hitns, but if giant stuff fly over your head you lack empaty.

[@pyranthas]

He did state his dump stat was wisdom.

[@thomasl1061]

Maybe that's why she was so into them.

[@zaryellllyyy]

But he does have a gf already what's the point of even "taking a hint"

[@mikkurzhal7390]

@@ScottEproductions I dunno about that, I've definitely been a lot more perceptive about people I have no interest in than people I *have* been interested in

[@Reyna3103]

I just love the passive aggressive editing everytime CritCrab reads a wrong word.

[@Phoenix-lv6dr]

Imagine using Anime to seduce someone.

[@MazaAzi]

"Hey baby, would like to pick me up like a potato chip and EAT ME?" - Virgin Mc Neverlayed

[@johnnysizemore5797]

@ Maza Azi-- oh, that's a badly awesome one! I got one better, and this one was used when i first met my future wife(didn't work, but it got her attention!): " Hi, i'm[INSERT NAME HERE], this is my brother[UNIMPORTANT PERSON] and my friend[VERBALLY THROWN IN FRONT OF BUS] who has a [SIGNIFICANT OTHER] ...."

[@Nildread]

I read that as "Annie" and I was like "is Annie an archetype now?" Lol

[@Nildread]

Also, just imagine if, while laying on the dudes bed Trish said "Omae wa mou shinderiu" Side note, I knew a girl in highschool that made cat noises during class, it was very strange and confusing.

[@johnnysizemore5797]

@a very chronic tonic -- hey, nice fedora! [tips currently worn fedora]

[@crown_magnetar]

"For the night is dark and full of fox-eared discomfort" LMAOOOO

[@adamjustice6485]

Well I wanted to hear about mah boi Clupperdunk and his levitating tankards!

[@bigslurpee2078]

Sounded sick man

[@blvalverde]

Poor Rich trying to be an entertaining mage. Smh.

[@TheJim9191]

Rich tried his level best, but unfortunately wasn't fantastic even in social situations that WEREN'T unbearably uncomfortable, so this tipped him over the edge.

[@RPGTales]

So this became a LARPing session? Somehow I also feel betrayed by Annie too.

[@johnnysizemore5797]

@RPG Tales-- i guess i can be happy that i look like a Walking, Talking Potato irl. That way, i never have to worry 'bout Annie or Trish. Unlike all you Handsome/Gorgeous suckers....... :D

[@malcadorsigilite6120]

Johnny Sizemore How dare someone as dashing as yourself self deprecate your appearance so. You look just fine sir.

[@johnnysizemore5797]

@Malcador Sigilite -- thank you for the compliment my friend, but if i don't make fun of myself, then someone else might. I told a rl friend of mine: I was born in a dark room, and it WAS at night, but i was not born in a dark room LAST night.

[@porkbandit1107]

@@johnnysizemore5797 you sexy looking ass tarrasque

[@johnnysizemore5797]

@ Pencil jar -- thank you! Now i'll know why that Tarrasque keeps looking at me funny ....:D

[@MetalHeadbanger7]

Truth: I was too busy laughing my ass off to start cringing.

[@AtodaK]

Today's takeaway: make sure you have permission before you take off your clothes and try on your love interest's clothes.

[@BrawnyStream]

This kids is why a little word called *CONSENT* is important, it saves you time, embarrassment, and possible criminal charges.

[@_Woody_]

@@BrawnyStream Well last one is only a concern for guys anyway

[@jooot_6850]

@@_Woody_ Heh. *cries*

[@FaolanHart]

If the genders where switched this'd en up with a restraining order at least.

[@eracer166]

....yeah.....

[@p.a.w.sthetravelinggamer6750]

Truth

[@p.a.w.sthetravelinggamer6750]

Insert anime protag luck here. End up in German dungeon in Iceland being spoken to in Japanese all while French people are making your food and calling you master, you sly vampiric son of a bitch.

[@gokel_hd3616]

@@p.a.w.sthetravelinggamer6750 wft

[@Soggy-In-Seattle]

Oh this would have been attempted rape if the genders were reversed.

[@HojuMedia]

The comedic timing of that "Bruh" was sublime

[@dboot8886]

I diagnose you with g- "I had a girlfriend." ... Good boyfriend. I diagnose you with good boyfriend.

[@tiagoprieto7072]

...you were gonna say gay weren’t you?

[@dboot8886]

Tiago Prieto Y-yeah...

[@stormisuedonym4599]

To be fair, you don't have to be gay to not want to jump the bones of some crazy chick.

[@lilthreegame7991]

I mean, it's not gay to not want to fuck just any girl that spreads her legs for you, its called standards. He wasnt into her, even if he was single, he still wouldnt. I give him props. I dont have those standards.

[@nirdram8549]

Being completely honest, you better avoid the crazy ones. I can assure you, no matter how hot they might be, the trouble is never worth it. That goes both ways, btw.

[@ramirezthesilvite]

Set her up with Craig.

[@CritCrab]

One of them aren't leaving alive

[@DolFan316]

*YESS!!! THE PUNISHMENT SHOULD FIT THE CRIME!!!*

[@liamdalemon1525]

that would be a match made in hell (heaven would be too corrupted by these two)

[@TheJim9191]

Calm down, Satan.

[@henrysutherland5292]

This made me actually cry. like catgirls are one thing, but irl they're kinda cringey in most situauions.

[@PowerSkiff12]

Cringe is like a drug it’s not good for you but you can’t get enough of it

[@sorufa888]

PowerSkiff12 amen

[@Answerisequal42]

The eloquence of this dude is incredible. Cudos to his colorful description of her insanity.

[@TheJim9191]

Thanks fren

[@Kreptic]

Kudos*

[@IMayOrMayHaveNot]

Well, he did say his highest stat IRL was charisma, guess this proves it, I at least enjoyed the way he writes!

[@massivejuicer1635]

Dude seems like the genuinely cool dudebro who always picks up the spirits of their friends. Definitely maxed out his charisma for sure 😤

[@jtcookie96]

I...I'm gonna be honest, while I didn't throw up, I feel very I'll after that story. These two people, went out of their way to try and get this guy to screw one of them and potentially ruin the relationship he had at the time. I...I'm speechless. Completely and utterly speechless, I'm also autistic, so I don't always see social cues, or know what's entirely normal for how people behave and even I think that what these two did was horrendous, I hope that they got the help they needed and that this was a huge wake up call for them.

[@petemadrona2252]

Don't worry my dude. You're right on the money. They do sound like they both need help and I too hope they got it

[@DolFan316]

You see women like Annie and Trish all the time on Tinder. Or so I've heard.

[@anthonystike6034]

I think that maybe Annie got her comeuppance when Dave broke up with her over it.

[@King_Of_Midgard]

Most of my friendgroups growing up were mainly composed of girls and if someone they thought was "cute" was dating someone not in their direct circle they almost always tried to cause breakups, though usually their plan was lying to the guy about the girl in question cheating on him and seducing him AFTER the breakup, not this crazy BS. Not sure if I just found like 12 different groups of crazy people through my school years or if its just that ladies can be hella predatory, either way, shit gets creepy fast. Did manage to convince a couple of the groups to cut that shit out though when I explained how downright creepy it was to guys to them. Apparently some of them (not gunna assume they speak for all people like this) thought that trying to seduce someone who was in a relationship was "sexier" because "oooh cheating is a taboo!~" when its just creepier because you're trying to trick someone into betraying the trust of someone they care about. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if girls like this are the reason the girls who think all guys are pigs who will inevitably cheat on you exist.

[@DHTheAlaskan]

Gonna be honest I'm exactly the same way. Can't pick up subtle hints to save my life or pick up social ques, but this set off all the red flags and alarm bells.

[@hereitcgaming9294]

This is why i what to no longer be a human and become a crab

[@Roanan.]

We should all become crabs, let the waves soothe us, let our problems wash away, and let the good vides flood in.

[@caleb688]

Kaeror Crab Rave is not an animation… it’s a *prophecy.*

[@Self-replicating_whatnot]

@@Roanan. Crabs also rumored to throw the best rave parties.

[@matthewbaldauf1677]

I don't understand how so many people end up playing with one or almost all strangers. But I thank you for your sacrifice because without you these entertaining/disturbing stories wouldn't exist.

[@CocoWantsACracker]

I ended up playing with only strangers because everyone in my circle of friends was either not interested in D&D or was already in a group (that I left when I got into an unrelated conflict with two then-friends in said group). Based on my experiences with the two groups I joined that way, I can totally understand people looking for strangers to play with in order to make new friends.

[@captainrumia2607]

She should've played an anime crab girl instead.

[@malcadorsigilite6120]

Captain Rumia Only acceptable alternative.

[@Nildread]

@@jonumine6250 no, everyone loves crabs. Boys and girls a like, cheat on their partners for the crabfolk. 🦀 That's why they hang out near the genitals.

[@brendonhavener]

Logan Chiminera that actually got me thinking about what a pubic-lice-girl would be like.

[@Nildread]

@@brendonhavener top 10 things you should never think about.

[@rexmastersins9349]

Oh she played a Crap Human being in IRL, I know its not the same thing, but it at least sounds similiar

[@HollowTomajikate]

A: I always thought Crit Crab had a wizard beard for some reason... Can he have one made out of sand? B: God, I can smell the wet sand, I like this background a lot more than the game play stuff. Makes me feel like I came down to the shore to talk with a crab.

[@CritCrab]

And that you did, friend.

[@HollowTomajikate]

Wow, my first creator heart and a reply all in one, thank you so much!

[@kitsunelandon5302]

No

[@Kairos_Akuma]

Love how they called him "selfish" for not CHEATING on his GF lol. Cheating is one of the most selfish things you can do.

[@damiendarko9411]

I've seen that sparkle in a girl's eye before... right before she told me her parents were cousins...

[@troljynx9953]

I like your profile picture funny man, it perfectly represent how I felt reading that

[@Solarballs77]

Is your pfp your reaction to that news?

[@justin2308]

Why the freak does that profile fit so well...? 🤣🤣🤣

[@damiendarko9411]

@@justin2308 It's the profile pic our world deserves :)

[@supercharliegalaxy]

In my house rules for my table has "Sex scenes WILL fade to black." It's abit awkward to describe all that. Like I'll give a lil teaser and say "Make a performance check!" fade to black then tell them the results if it was good, bad or weird ause that's what my DM taught me XD

[@bobbilly3606]

Unless your a bard, or its a significant character moment, I tend to not allow such scenes. MAYBE say something happend during downtime. And I’ll just FTB if it does happen. Were here to murder hobo and roleplay, not act out erotic fantasies. Unless were playing FATAL.

[@CorruptionAura]

@@bobbilly3606 there would not be the book of erotic fantasy if that were the case

[@xXCherryKoolAidXx]

I don’t fully black out, but I’ll give some suggestive descriptions before addressing another player to transition the scene. In one of the campaigns I’m running, we’ve got a player who has, so far, had a three-way with two hot biker girls she arm wrestled with at a bar AND started an orgy with strippers and a rich old lady during our Mansion Party two-parter. I usually have her roll some kind of performance check, and I’ll kinda trail off like, “Yeah, you’ve got a girl on each hand and you’re blowing their minds right now.” It’s hilarious without being too graphic. What’s even funnier was going from a massive party orgy to my other two characters; one stole like 80 lbs. worth of crystal silverware and the other killed a drill instructor, tried to get his baby Acceleraptor to come with the party as a pet and then spent a good half hour trying to steal Kingpin, the world’s only living mini megalodon from his tank. Mansion Party was a b l a s t

[@ThanesTito]

the only time a sex scene didn't fade to black on a campaign I played was actually after the fact, because my character had faded to black himself (failed a constitution save to not get blacked-out while drinking with werecat ladies), and me and the other player asked to see the security camera feed the morning after - it's amazing what you can create with a Devil's apocalyptic form (we were playing Demon the Fallen) and a couple werecats

I want to hear about the results of weird.

[@SWAGberg2012]

“…artsy and enthusiastic with a real twinkle in her eye which I would realize all too late wasn’t a twinkle but the barely perceptible electrical feedback which indicated the short-circuiting of the sanity wires in her brain.” Me after reading and/or hearing Crab read all that: Well, that’s certainly a nice way to put it XD

[@TheJim9191]

I have just been through and answered more of the AMA comments, and while I'm here, I wanted to thank CritCrab again for such a great edit. Even I lost my absolute shit at the scream and the "bruh". Keep being awesome, CritCrab.

[@iliaskaravakos6830]

Coming back to see this video has become something of a tradition for me. Your writing is excellent man. I almost always audible laught at this (at the very minimum) inappropriate scene.

[@TheJim9191]

@@iliaskaravakos6830 ayyy thanks mate

[@JohnTrustworthy]

Yeah, I'd like to scratch off cat-girl off my wish list.

[@jooot_6850]

Reality strikes again

[@Solarballs77]

@@jooot_6850 yep

[@Oxygen1004]

@@jooot_6850 :( yup, gotta stick with the cat boys

[@jooot_6850]

Morningstar or normal boys 🥴

[@Oxygen1004]

@@jooot_6850 Both, both are good

[@thiccburger290]

The best part about this story isn’t just that the girl was absolutely, 100% committed to her act, but that this man wrote it out so well that you could viscerally feel the cringe. Bravo. Fucking bravo.

[@michaelymuffins3894]

*ahem* He is indeed SIR David Attenborough, the man has been officially knighted by the Queen.

[@DreadlordZolias]

Is being knighted really a higher honor than getting a doctorate, though? I mean, I could probably get knighted by saving the Queen's Corgi from an oncoming car, but I'll still need to spend roughly 7 years in college to get a doctorate's degree.

[@chunkygiblets4678]

@@DreadlordZolias It's a way bigger deal. Calling him Dr. is like introducing Elon Musk as a paypal dev.

[@grelp]

Lol why not call him Sir Doctor Professor Attenborough

[@lordhelmchen3154]

@@DreadlordZolias I mean getting a doctorate is tough and means you are pretty damn smart... but being knighted by the Queen of England is an honor not that many people have in the world. Of course it technically does not mean anything about you as a person or if you are smart or brave or something... but to put it in context: Millions of people have a doctorate but only a few thousand or so (if even that many) are "Sirs". Also being a knight (more or less) of the richest and most popular queen on Earth sounds badass. :P

[@tim2slimjim]

Why change "Sir" to "Doctor" when talking about David Attenborough? The man earned a knighthood. It's a very respectable title.

[@xySuperManxy]

Antimonarchists exist.

[@cathalnolan8007]

I think based on the editing it was just a mistake when narrating, or in the transcription from the post to the script. Bit of an odd one tho given he is basically always referred to as "Sir"

[@godspeedhero3671]

Yeah, and knights are much rarer than doctors, so it's a strange choice to edit it.

[@damascus9876]

"Which I realized all too late that wasn't a twinkle (in her eye) but a barely perceptible electrical feedback which indicated the short circuiting of sanity wires in her brain." OH. MY. GOD. That's brilliant!

[@Memnto_Morii]

"The loose marbles rolling around in her skull" haha that killed me

[@TheLoraxshadenough]

This is why we have unofficial rules for d&d, and one of them is no trying to screw anyone at the table IRL.

[@thatstranger6114]

This is an impossible rule for my playgroup as the DM and one of our players are married. But it's expected to not bring your personal drama to the table. Which should be a given...

[@edric4704]

@@thatstranger6114 To be fair, they are not "trying" to screw another player, they already are ^^ or not, depending on the marriage...

[@fairygoodmuller8065]

id say spouses are fine as long as they can separate irl and ic. gf/bf id be worried about splitting up and not playing anymore

[@an_omniscient_nobody]

This was one of the most entertaining stories I’ve ever read. OP is such a wonderfully charismatic storyteller :>

[@net_spider]

Anime can definitely be cringy sometimes, but anime is simply another medium for stories. These stories can be weird, cringy, and nonsensical, but so can any story in any medium. I find it utterly strange that people can get so fixated on things like this that they lose touch with what is actually appropriate or not in normal society. I love anime, I said it, but you won't see me acting like this at all... that is just truly strange and I can understand why people think that the anime community is full of people like this.

[@annabella1650]

If it helps, most people understand that not every anime fan is bat shit crazy.

[@OscarGomez-hg8cb]

I think it’s more that crazy people that fixate on anime tropes are more visible that the ones who fixate on other media, because anime is geared toward the main characters standing out from the rest (the different hair colors, modified uniforms, outgoing and loud personalities, etc.) and so anime-crazy stands out more when compared to, for example, LARPers

[@annabella1650]

Oscar Gómez That’s true, and I’d also say that maybe trying to apply cartoon logic (I know, anime and cartoons are different, but bear with with me) to real life has bad results. A lot of anime uses over-the-top expressions to deliver the point/punchline (as does a lot of animated media), and the second you try to mimic that, things go wrong.

[@OscarGomez-hg8cb]

Anna Bella yeah, thats also a good point, they tend to over-exaggerate expressions in anime to what in the west would be “cartoonish”, but since they are “ordinary high school students” delivering them and not, say, half-dressed ducks with ptsd and anger management issues, people might not get that they are supposed to be over the top exaggerations

[@annabella1650]

@Oscar Gómez That and most of the time the people using them are doing so in a mostly normal situation.

[@sjd83]

9:21 Dude! It is SIR David Attenborough! He was knighted by the Queen of England in 1985. Don't give me any of that 'Doctor' bullcrap!

[@dracojester2971]

The sprinkled edits and memes in this one were top notch. Not to mention the analogies of OP

[@marekadams6956]

"So put down your airships and your will to live..." To be fair, I'm pretty sure we can't have both at once.

[@cyfreusz]

It's such a strange feeling - being soothed by the waves and squirming from cringe from the story xD

[@chickenpermission7298]

Dr David Attenborough nah man he was officially knighted by the queen so he’s actually a sir

[@teenfoe]

No one cares.

[@peytonmac1131]

I feel like being a Doctor is more of an achievement than being a Sir.

[@ckopen7192]

bro, being a doctor is way more important than a pointless title given by another person with a pointless title who gets to live off other peoples money just for existing. id much rather be called something that actually matters if i were him

[@minteaskullz]

God...this reminds me of this ONE incident on my senior year of high school. I wasn’t there but here we go. This was told to me by one of my friends that went to see one of my other friends perform in their orchestra concert. He noticed his ex girlfriend (really toxic and hated her) was with her new boyfriend (our ex friend for being a asshole and being blindsided) was there but didn’t give a shit that they were there so he just saw down somewhere in front of them and away as possible. Take note that they were the only ones sitting in the way back. The concert began and my friend was enjoying it so far until...suddenly. The whole auditorium.. *THE WHOLE AUDITORIUM* was being filled with sighs, mewls and MEOWING that the orchestra teacher stop the students had to stop the students playing in the middle of a piece so he can call out whoever is making those nasty noises. Lord and behold...friend’s ex girlfriend and ex friend WERE *DUCKING* IN THE WAY BACK AND SHE WAS MEOWING! He told me everyone that was close saw and worst of all one of my old teachers were sitting with other students and saw what was going on too when he turned around. He probably regretted turning around. Yes they got into deep trouble especially ex friend because he was in ROTC. Friend’s ex girlfriend was already in trouble for many other things so what happened in that auditorium was added to the list of things of Fucked Up. I should probably mention that band (used to play trombone throughout freshman and sophomore year), orchestra and maybe choir, record just the audio of their performance so the next day in class they can take a listen and the teacher will point out tips and note where to improve next time. I’m pretty sure they had to delete that audio for sure but I wish I was there to hear it myself. Not to see it because I don’t wanna pour bleach on my eyes and set them on fire.

[@nothingtoseehere8771]

Did they get expelled?

[@indiagale7918]

Oh my GOD

[@minteaskullz]

@@nothingtoseehere8771 they got suspended actually. The guy was in ROTC like i said so you can bet your ass that he got some major shit from his superiors or whatever they call it.

[@minteaskullz]

@@indiagale7918 there was a lot shit that went down at my school but that was one of the best/worse things that happened to two people I didnt like anymore on my senior year. A lot of things happened in my senior year like the time we went on lockdown bc of a robbery that was happening across the Wells Fargo right in front of campus. It was on the news

[@Kreptic]

Yeah no one cares.

[@stanbunn1329]

I only cringed when the op finally revealed he ha a gf, if he was single I would have just figured he wasn't into her. Honestly the rest of it just sounded like an awkward girl trying to come in to someone.

[@josh-mf7lt]

I will say not letting him fade to Black was pretty awful also, the rest was tolerably awkward till it was made known that they knew he had a gf

[@funninoriginal6054]

Everything after the gf reveal was just... why.

[@Nildread]

@@josh-mf7lt awful and weird, but they were drinking. It's still weird, and kind of out of left field for the DM but would have been kinda less awful had the guy been single. It's just so bad, that it was planned, they knew he was in an relationship, and they just assumed he'd be into it. You'd think maybe annie asking ooc, "so do you like cat girls?" Or even "how do you feel about Trish". Sure, that would have given them away, but if you're going to get rejected, what's worse? Asking before you're naked if someone is into you, or asking while naked while having absolutely no clue of the answer and knowing the guy is already in a relationship. I personally think getting rejected while not being naked is better.

[@justanotherglorpsdaymornin5097]

nope, if someone lay on my bed in just my shirt after conspiring with someone I thought was my friend to get me alone I would nope right out of that situation regardless of my relationship status

[@Nildread]

@@justanotherglorpsdaymornin5097 what if you liked her?

[@gk9606]

This woman is NOT missing any screws. I mean how can you when you had none to begin with?

[@billcipher826]

"... lose your will to live" Me:You can't lose what you never had.

[@cheatcode436]

That actually kind of makes sense for you Bill.

[@WoodmanFeatherhigh]

I mean, we're all laughing, but try to imagine your reaction to the same story, only with all the participants gender-swapped. Food for thought.

[@lucilucid]

I would feel the same- This story is just horrifying and the fact that we need to genderswap it to understand that shows how messed up things are.

[@kotaleartist]

it would still be as horrifying and kinda funny, especially by the way it was written, probably more so imagining a dude in a lil bitty tshirt. like when he ran out would his junk just be all out? is this the tale of the buff woman himbo and the catboy femboy? i don’t know which would be funnier actually.

[@tde4438]

Bruv, I didn’t just cringe. Every cell and atom in my body did a full dry-heave in sync. I am in utter horrified awe

[@DuchDude]

CritCrab - "so put down your airships and your will to live and let's get on with the video" Me - " 'cmon crabs, how bad is it going to be? We already saw greg and the airships stories after all" *video plays* Me - "welp... I'll go tie down the noose, want one too?"

[@notasovietspytrustme4392]

I’ll take one, also do you have a pen I can write a note with real fast?

[@deimos2278]

Extra Tight please. I want to make my exit Quick.

[@bluemariomedia8351]

Don't get the noose. GET THE WHOLE GUILLOTINE!

[@jasonguan132]

that would be great

[@35november]

I am a DM, who is muscular and tall, studies physics, and gets hit on by anime cat girls. I think I have identified the fan fic here.

[@Flutter_Aeina]

Oh my god. I would absolutely report her behavior. That is so inappropriate and should be classified as harassment

[@SomeNerdyRando]

"Why?!" I am LITERALLY crying.

[@rennyforyourthoughts8023]

“If you want your shirt back you’ll have to take it off me.” I’m not even mad, that’s a clever line.

[@MCbeccy89]

Yeah and fuckin sexual assault. What the fuck is wrong with you lmao. Sure, cute if they were *dating*.

[@errocrin5488]

If this happened to a paladin: "I'll take it off your corpse criminal scum!"

[@Xylarxcode]

When it's delivered by someone you're into and have consented to spend the night with, then sure. In a non-consensual situation, not so much.

[@mtbthiccness3605]

"Hisses at me like a cat" I've just turned inside out from this cringe.

[@GothicOogie]

I don't know who I'm more disappointed in her or her friend encouraging her to do this. Either way that's all bad not only does the girl get the record of being the cringe and creepy weeaboo. She also gets the Mega thirsty stamp on her to. SMH it sad that women out there like this point the finger at men and say men are the creeps when women can be just as creepy maybe even more so. And yes this is a female saying this

[@fangsabre]

Honestly I feel bad for Trish. Her friend set her up to fail because she had something against OPs gf. She might've been creepy and thirsty but I could easily chalk that up to being extremely socially awkward, maybe with a social disability too. Probably had trouble compartmentalizing the difference between in game and irl flirting. I mean her actions were not cool but she might not have done it if her "friend" hadn't gassed her up. The reason a lot of guys in this same boat get called creepy, at least I think, is because they're usually also super entitled about it and get angry and aggressive when they dont get their way

[@GothicOogie]

@@fangsabre I would agree with you but they both knew they where being creepy and got anger over the rejection. So I don't feel bad for none of them. Let this be two guys all women be blaming both real talk

[@fangsabre]

@@GothicOogie Trish seemed more upset than like downright angry at being rejected, which I get. That doesnt absolve her of being extremely inappropriate and crossing several boundaries. And maybe I am bring a bit too lenient on her actions Abbie I have no sympathy for tho.

[@GothicOogie]

@@fangsabre again they knew what they where doing so I have no sympathy for both. Women are so use to being on the reserving in so when they put there confidence on the line and they get rejected most of the time they throw a big fit over it and try to make it out that they were in the right even when they are wrong. But I will not say that all women are like that just most.

[@fuzzydragon]

this further convinces me of the everyday need to carry pocket sand irl.

[@Orrphoiz]

try pocket habanero flakes. like pocket sand, but stronger. also multi-purpose as you can put it on your food too c:

[@notasovietspytrustme4392]

Fox-girl: you’re green eyes are so attractive! Bartender: oh, thanks but they’re blue actually. But I can understand the confusion since they’re steely blue and they- FG: and your curly brown hair is so cute! BT: uh... I have straight blonde hair. FG Take me Jay! BT: that’s not my name. FG: 😐 BT: 😐

[@Kreptic]

Your* Learn to spell before trying to put such a long comment.

[@notasovietspytrustme4392]

DarkRageWarrior how about you learn how not to sound like an asshole and realize that nobody gives a shit

[@Kreptic]

@@notasovietspytrustme4392 Lol how about you learn how to use a better name and profile picture cause that's just painful.

[@notasovietspytrustme4392]

DarkRageWarrior ok mr. cropped hentai

[@notasovietspytrustme4392]

DarkRageWarrior your name and pfp are even worse than mine, and that’s a feat considering I tried to make mine bad

[@atosm8300]

DM: So, are you a cat or a fox? Trish: Yes