Big Horny Ruins Wholesome D&D Game

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[@CritCrab]

Hey guys! I'm working on improving the frequency/overall quality of my videos. If you have any wisdom to offer I would be very appreciative! kzbin.infoUgzwaeZ1kY62GlalehJ4AaABCQ

[@jamesarmstrongiv8279]

Liked the video but I'm struggling to get through it because of the cringe

[@detectivelizard9532]

Do you think you could increase the volume a bit in your videos? It's a bit too quiet on max volume and I tend to listen to these videos during walks or while on the bus. Great videos by the way.

[@setojurai]

@@jamesarmstrongiv8279 I didn't make it. I feel sorry for our Crab Overlord.

[@vendriksondoesthings7911]

I love how emotive your Crabvitar is

[@RoosSkywalker]

Volume is way too low again. I thought you fixed this in earlier videos. Narration volume is fine, but when you are not narrating it is super low. Just keep both the same volume too, please.

[@wesamc9333]

"My dad says women like men who don't take no for an answer." Looks like your dad rolled a Nat 1 on a Parenting check.

[@catandrobbyflores]

And a nat 20 for raising a r@pist.

[@rylian21]

And subsequent nat1s on humanity and manhood.

[@Sorrowdusk]

What happens when your dad has an Evil alignment?

[@linkno1]

Parenting check? I believe the check you're looking for is animal handling.

[@kymo6343]

@@Sorrowdusk It's not an excuse, the Green Ninja did alright...

[@sandpiperr]

"My dad says women like a man who doesn't take no for an answer" ...I feel like we breezed past that one way too quickly!

[@joshuacouture479]

Agreed, that comment is worrying

[@Nerobyrne]

"sounds like your dad likes to Seahawks assault women."

[@chukyuniqul]

Yeah, even if we assume women still do the "no(yes)" thing, that doesn't mean you insist to change a firm "no". Like, there's no place to argue or interpret that refusal. And that's assuming that still commonly happens which I feel only happens on seriously backwards places.

[@Nerobyrne]

@@chukyuniqul what's the "no(yes)" thing?

[@Mordring]

@@Nerobyrne Some girls like to test their potential partner's confidence by playing indifferent or even hostile. They will refuse initial seduction attempts, often very bluntly and aggressively but they actually WANT the guy to keep trying. In short, that is call the "no means yes" or "no(yes)" strategy, which is often used by creepy guys as an excuse to ignore the initial refusal and even encourages them to double down. Some people, especially hardcore feminists, deny that strategy even exists and it's just a tale creeps invented to justify their own creepiness. It's not just a tale, I have personally met girls like that. Hillariously, since I do take no for an answer (I'm old and lazy, I don't have time or energy to figure out such mind games), some were even angry at me that I lost any interest in them after the first "no". "You were supposed to try again, dummy!". Sorry, no, I like my partners straightforward and honest about their feelings from the get go, it prevents any misunderstandings later on. That being said, there are two massive disclaimers that seem to always be ignored by "those guys". 1. NOT every girl does that. There is actually a relatively small percent of women I know personally who'd ever engaged in such strategy (I'd say 10-15% with only a couple or so with me directly). 2. The "no means yes" is valid ONLY towards their desired partner, ABSOLUTELY NOT towards every horny creep in the vicinity. Aye, these boys have to learn A LOT about women before they can even start thinking about learning D&D. Priorities and all.

[@minohki]

“Normal women wouldn’t scream when grabbed”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

[@vehicleunhandler]

Cuargh cry and laugh

[@TigerW0lf]

Neither, you knock some sense into their stupid heads

[@suzannepottsshorts]

I would like to rage

[@Evoker23-lx8mb]

I mean, most of the women I know wouldn’t scream when grabbed suddenly without consent. Most of the women I know at least’d go straight for the left, right, Goodnight.

[@JackSparrow-lx2wd]

Kids spent to much time beaten their meat rather than socializing

[@LayzeeistLavender]

A wise man once said: "That boy ain't right."

[@EstebanGilChillington]

"Makin' bacon"

[@shawmiserix404]

hank hill would open up a can of good ol texan woop ass on these boys

[@Sebastian-pm6hj]

"Building a Sentry"

[@godcat_thing]

Dispenser down!

[@nuclearadventuresvr5749]

"there's a spy creeping round here"

[@Ahrpigi]

"dad says women like men who don't take no for an answer" NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

[@Lanoira13]

Yeaaaaah, felt like DM shoulda done a learning moment right then and there and called out that as incorrect.

[@koishily]

YOUR PFP PRAISE THE SUN \[T]/

[@Ahrpigi]

@@koishily ☀️\[T]/☀️

[@koishily]

@@Ahrpigi Do you play Dark Souls 3 or Remastered on PC? Just curious?

[@Ahrpigi]

@@koishily Not recently but 280 DS3 hours logged on Steam (620 on DS1/Remastered and 440 on DS2... I don't have a problem >_> ) And I'm STILL completely useless in PvP

[@sagesaria]

"My dad says women like men who don't take no for an answer" I literally leaned back in my chair as far as I could go.

[@sandrols7]

same..... that was... really bad!

[@shadenox8164]

I'm guessing that was the father dismissing the whole thing.

[@bungerroyale112]

At that precise moment in time, I could feel my heart sink

[@EldritchMcPie]

@@shadenox8164 Same thought.

[@TeasilaNova]

somebody who doesn't realize she gonna file a retraining order. and escorted off her property after being rejected for millionth time.

[@raddish72]

"i need a princess to guard my tower" was actually pretty adorable, very thirteen-year-old pickup line

[@supersnizelz]

Tbh that doesnt sound adorable at all to me

[@Kouh_Sijaed]

Easiest way to solve this problem: Let your group know that NSFW material isn't allowed. I like to push my players comfort levels because but Sexual Assault is a no no.

[@GarkKahn]

That should be a non-written rule if it's not already one

[@koroplays3200]

I don't even have to have a rule like that because thankfully my players are mature enough to know that that isn't acceptable. Consensual perviness amongst player characters is fine because we are all okay with a bit of dumb fake flirting with one another. But some of the shit I hear from this videos is just horrid.

[@FlameUser64]

Imagine having to even say that to a trio of 13-year-olds!

[@umangsheel7819]

Can I play in your campaign or smth? yes I'm asking this on a yt comment, yes I'm going to regret it in the future, and yes I'm desperate to begin my first d&d game of my life

[@mowermen1762]

@@umangsheel7819bro was never responded to 😞 Gotta respect the hustle tho

[@bridgetmadden5716]

If anyone tried this in any of my games, I'd love to have what I call "the consent minotaur" basically a Minotaur who follows the party around with the motto "what you do to her, I'm going to do to you"

[@Saturnfanboy]

I love this idea.

[@kittehgo]

OMG the picture I got in my head was both hilarious and horrifying, if you ever have conjure up the consent minotaur. Pretty please share the story with crit crab..

[@bridgetmadden5716]

@@kittehgo I will if he thinks its a fun idea :) Honestly, I'd be more likely to just shut down the game or give the player a straight up warning if it ever got to that point. The consent minotaur could possibly be used to make a point about consent though

[@Cell287]

Lol, brilliant

[@kittehgo]

@@bridgetmadden5716 Mr Crab would be crazy not to love it, and while I understand the talking to the offender is the sensible thing. The consent minotaur is to good to pass up :)

[@DoctorLazers]

The moment they all start hunting for women, this is what SHOULD have happened. "Okay, stop. What are you guys trying to achieve? I am not, under any circumstances, roleplaying even the vaguest semblance of a sex scene for you guys. Are we clear? We're gonna steer away from this course of action, right now, or I'm packing up my books and the game is canceled." The problem here is, the implication is that the rape attempt only failed because it was executed incompetently. It should be made abundantly clear that no matter what they roll, this isn't going to happen.

[@thebutterscotchkid2481]

Right- The entire time I've been watching this video, I've just been wondering "Why hasn't he left yet?" I think I know the answer, he doesn't want the potentially Karen moms yelling at him, but I think (for his sanity alone) he should've taken that risk.

[@hundiges1291]

True!

[@ulrichcrawford5763]

Couldn't agree more, they must have thought that the problem itself was the rng and not the specific action they were trying to perform. One of the boys probably learned a lesson tho

[@QuanTrietLOL]

Yeah. Even to adults, I make it abundantly clear that my games with have violence and gore, but not senseless murder and rape. Want to smash that single cutie? Alright you're up. Want something more? Sure but it fades to black. Then roll a d20. On a low roll, she steals something from you. Want to rp a rapist? You're no longer under 3P "Player Protection Program", and I WILL kill your character. I take no shit from this.

[@securityg1618]

If this were to happen to me i would make sure that the rolls would never succeed (Dc is too high) and that failing the check would cause the NPC to attack them. Roll initiative and watch as this NPC, probably around CR 20, kills the party. Sorry boys, karma a bitch

[@Sakine-animate]

The one mom who was in denial, I would've said: "Ma'am, why else would I be calling you?" Like, you called to try and get her kid in trouble for no reason? Yea, that makes sense

[@emytzu]

She'd "To make me feel bad and shame me and my boy".

[@tomcaniff6437]

something tells me the denial didn't stick, she probably began to wonder if he was telling the truth.

[@Zarastro54]

@@tomcaniff6437You’d be surprised how delulu parents are for their precious little gremlin children.

[@kolinski16]

we could feel his soul draining when he say "human: can i rip her shirt off"

[@Terestrasz]

"I'm just a dragon looking for a princess to guard in my tower" NGL.... that's actually kinda funny.

[@spiderboy43]

It's still a bad pickup line, but it did make me chuckle.

[@thevoidcritter]

it's a bad pickup line but it's not anything horrifying, unlike everything else

[@thestrategistguy7083]

I would love the story if it was like that without the r*9e

[@Mercurio2435]

Too bad it came from the mouth of a degenerate. Such a waste.

[@em__1]

This would be right at place in some comedy-heavy laid back game, but in this context, it's just shitty

[@nicolasjacquin3507]

"The halfling is actually a level 20 wizard. She casts Wish, all of you creeps are teleported to the 1rst layer of the nine hells in the middle of the blood war."

[@leila13dnd]

Ngl, I literally thought "Make her a retired lv20 warlock whose patron is very pissed rn".

[@comradet0m]

My thought was a retired rogue. Orc ends up with a stiletto to the groin.

[@agentzapdos4960]

Make the whole party roll a DC50 will save, where upon failure they're all made into thralls and forced to fight each other to the last man standing, who then is forced to commit harakiri.

[@toptextbottomtext3062]

**Queue ultra instinct theme**

[@davidegaruti2582]

making the bar keepers level 20 so they can regulate stuff instantly ...

[@ohiyoresident]

“Human: Can I rip off her shirt?” Critcrab: Oh- *ad plays*

[@thetrainerknownasx]

I wasn't lucky enough to get the ad break to process ☹ (Never thought I'd ever put "lucky" and "ad" in the same sentence)

[@thekinginyellowmessiahofha6308]

Well, I’m around that age, and half my friends are willing to Die to protect npc soldiers, well the other half are eating corpses and setting things on fire.

[@lazysloth08]

i call that a well rounded party

[@Wingedlizar]

Help I relate to this so much- I'm in the latter half.

[@SwagSwagSenate]

I'm 17 and never had friends 😔

[@user-kj2rm2uu3u]

​@@SwagSwagSenate you will find one

[@knightpal1545]

As a person heavy into dark and gritty settings for campaigns me and the second half would get along.

[@Talixaen]

“I’m not going to fully stop you from RPing-“ yes, you should. No sexual assault at my table. Please, DMs. Draw a goddamn line.

[@Talixaen]

Like seriously. “What? No that’s kidnapping” OKAY SO THEN WHEN THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING TO KEEP HER AS A RAPE SLAVE POINT THAT OUT TOO

[@phillipclementson2872]

I've thankfully never encountered something like this because the people at my table are sane and decent people, but the standing rule for whenever I run a dnd game at my table is if you cross a moral line too far, for example sexual assault, a gold dragon eats your character and I ban you from the table. There is no save and it doesn't matter what you are or do, you just die.

[@Talixaen]

@@phillipclementson2872 Sounds like a great rule! It's one of those things you would hope might go without saying, but... Putting it very clearly, either in a session 0 or the first time a player starts to insinuate they can just override an NPC's will with regard to something like physical intimacy, is really the only way to shut it down. "That way lies only death. There is no way to succeed if you attempt to use force in this context."

[@catatoblob8598]

Then they'll just find a new DM who would tolerate that BS. I say let them try to do what they want, and then smack them with consequences until they're crawling out your house.

[@xryeau_1760]

What if you wanna play an evil character?

[@Lycaon1765]

110% that stepdad has done those exact things his son tried to do. He was probs the one that was the dad that said "women like a man that won't take no for an answer".

[@Player-kf6vq]

Got a gut feeling he and karens son are the instagators in the group behavior.

[@EldritchMcPie]

@@Player-kf6vq Yes. There was a noticable pattern that one kid suggested something and the others chimed in in agreement, which sounds alot like teenage pack mentality: Whoever makes the edgiest, out of line suggestion is the coolest and the others follow suit.

[@Cell287]

I agree, too bad I was a loner in my teenage years

[@unlimon6382]

@@EldritchMcPie in my experience it is: "we all do stupid stuff and we then proceed to laugh like donkeys" but ok

[@kymo6343]

@@EldritchMcPie We need to teach boys to turn this dynamic on it's head. That boy who used to be the Cool Guy needs to be sent to the end of the pecking order where he really belongs...

[@BenMarcWilliams]

"My dad says that women like a man who doesn't take no for an answer." "Women want this." At some point in the future, when these kids are older, one of them is going to get arrested for something. Then the criminal investigation is going to bring to light that he's a serial rapist, or that he's got a kidnapped woman locked in his basement, or something. His parents will insist that he couldn't have done it because he's always been "such a kind boy", but to everyone else, it'll come as no surprise.

[@vectory674]

*Insert Incel tag 15 years later*

[@Liliputian07]

this is what andrew tate does to kids' brains btw

[@miconis123]

"if only there had been signs..." Hello! flashing neon sign right here at only 13 years old

[@LoarvicLoarvic]

Their viewpoints need to be corrected immediately, untill it's too late. Oh...I guess it IS too late now.

[@MakinItRain24-7]

Mom: You should play with the neighbors! The neighbors:

[@thatoneginger]

Worst person is def the dad. Not wanting to believe is one thing. Knowing something is true and being okay with it is another.

[@Cell287]

I agree, his response was the worst one

[@mikaneko]

Agreed, the moms were bad but nowhere NEAR as bad as the dad.

[@ssfbob456]

Aunt was the best, that cold "I'll handle it" from a parent/guardian and you know they'll never forget the lesson that's about to be taught.

[@grandarchon6969]

I murder hookers in GTA. How is that really better or worse?

[@Gardstyle35]

oh no they had a power fantasy... thats inacceptable for boys... /sarkasm off

[@chiachimariachi4682]

"My dad says women like men who don't take no for an answer" *I'm gonna have to ask your Dad to roll initiative*

[@masonbritt8308]

Hard agree

[@kaelinhanson372]

at disadvantage right?

[@masonbritt8308]

@@kaelinhanson372 I kinda figured it's taken as read that the dude has permanent disadvantage in all endeavors lol

[@kaelinhanson372]

@@masonbritt8308 shit you right 😂🤣

[@thebutterscotchkid2481]

Can I join? My Tabaxi Druid and I would like to b u r n h i m a l I v e .

[@kyleshape8645]

"My dad says women like men who don't take no for an answer." My Paladin: (Holy music stops)

[@elizabethsmith7224]

My snake_ god worshipping cleric: *hisses WTF in snake*

[@Syn523]

My monkey barbarian: *JttW 1996 theme stops*

[@RageUnchained]

My Clown Cleric: *bonks kid with mace*

[@thehellrunner4117]

"I'm just a dragon, looking for a princess who I can guard in my tower." That's actually a surprisingly good pick up line!

[@Domino365]

I have a feeling that the Karen who didn't believe OP will spend a lot of time in the future in the audience of a courtroom.

[@ondank]

I am certain she will at some point use the phrase "Your honour, don't let this silly childish act ruin my sons life" after her son has definitely ruined someone elses life.

[@WobblesandBean]

@@ondank "Boys will be boys". _gagging noises_

[@pinoarias8601]

That's a stretch, I used to do all kinds of cringy sex stuff in videogames when I was young, hell I still do in Rimworld (getting prisoners forefully pregnant so I can milk them for food), I have yet to assault anyone lmao.

[@saltygrump]

@@pinoarias8601 rape though?

[@gotmybootyout5793]

@@pinoarias8601 please get extensive therapy.

[@freakstreetfighter]

"She'll be like a pet! we can use her!" I literally dropped my tea and paused the video for that one....who would keep a game going with that kind of stupid insanity.

[@Evilriku13]

I know its just me, but I thought he would "use her" like a meatshield or someone who carries their alternative weapons an treasure but ultimately with how the approach was going the fact that it would involve sexual misconduct is quite likely the primary reason behind that wording.

[@mcfeddle]

@@Evilriku13 nope. They didn't enter combat yet.

[@beaniemanmg9134]

I did thr same except for the tea part.

[@DHIU5920]

I think you would almost have to continue the game to teach the lesson, but god that was dark.

[@solouno2280]

Woah woah woah, let that for FATAL or Lilith's throne

[@Mercurio2435]

Everyone should be required to get parent training long before they ever have kids.

[@Margen67]

birb

[@Lampem]

Birb

[@liamcookson7489]

OP: *screams internally* my brother in Christ please scream externally

[@FoxyBard]

I got so mad at that dad. He's by far the worst, in my opinion. He's definitely the one who taught his kids that behavior like that was at all okay.

[@MYHAU91]

Not necessary. He is basically clueless and doesn't understand TTRPG. He thinks that its like video games and in video game its pretty standard to just get the girls/man.

[@kellyalves756]

@@MYHAU91 What video games are you playing where player characters are able to haul NPCs out of their programming and “ use” them? OP DM was spot on correct- sexual assault is not a game.

[@MYHAU91]

@@kellyalves756 Basicily every AAA cRPG have the same "romance" you talk 4-5 times, do a fetch quest and you have sex scene. Mass Effect and Dragon Age are the worst examples i can remember now. The boys were probably expecting the same treatment in TTRPG. DM also played it out badly. He was too aggresive with first reaction. He should let them think that they succeded and give them embarrasing ends via PM (e.g. orc was lead to the backroom stunned, robbed and thrown to the streets, the dragonborn could be charmed and asked to leave and jump into the river). I had my fair share of teenage players and if they are new to the game they always want fighting and fricking ingame. You should never try to teach them a lesson in front of other ppl, coz thats the shortest way to shitstorm. Make them a fool via PM and they either leave or never pull such stuff again. If they stay they usually learn the ropes and become better players.

[@Lycaon1765]

@@kellyalves756 typically sex games like _Corruption of Champions_ and such. But then again that's a text-based game, not a video game.

[@kellyalves756]

@@MYHAU91 Critcrab is right, a session zero is crucial.

[@birb125]

Alright, everyone equip your Anti-Horny HAZMAT suits and arm yourself with your preferred Horny Weapons. God grant us mercy

[@lolbots686]

i need no hazmat suits good man i am a lvl 20 oath of the crab paladin! my aura of anti cringe shall guard us aganst these foolish heretics! *gives you a +30 flametongue* come my friend we shall crusade!

[@FinntheSquire]

@@lolbots686 Another paladin for the Crab crusade!

[@birb125]

@@lolbots686 We weren't expecting special forces

[@lolbots686]

@@birb125 well i am here now prepare to bring down 5d8 anti cringe upon these heretics! no thot or neckbeard shall survive our crusade!

[@birb125]

@@n0etic_f0x yes Inquisitior, this citizen right here.

[@AriOrSomething]

It's the "no boring healers" mentality that results in me always having at least one healing spell on my characters. (Not that I'm complaining, though. I like being able to heal people)

[@jorgemigueltavares6041]

Honestly I would've just dropped the session then and there the moment the brats asked to rip the halfling's shirt off. It's pretty creepy and unsettling, and the parents are no better.

[@thehillisalive]

"I wanna see if there are any women there" Me: oh no

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

My response: “The only girls you see are a tough-looking orc lady in back that stands a head taller than any of you and an old lady with one eye and no teeth.”

[@marocat4749]

@@Lobsterwithinternet Not bad, what if that turns anyone on XD, ok it would give a way out by her defending herself. And they kant literally kidnap her to make her a "pet".First rule for kink,always consentual.

[@MrKalasznikov]

@@Lobsterwithinternet To be fair the only unattraftive thing about her is no teeth xD

[@raistlarn]

@@Lobsterwithinternet tbh I know people who would try to hit on both of them. Personally though I would have said you see a bunch of dwarfs, but you can't tell if any are male or female since both sexes have beards.

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

@@raistlarn ,Doctor Nauk, and Mario Cat Spoiler Alert: She’s a level 10 Wizard Night Hag with a Minotaur bodyguard. 😁

[@Rupert3434]

I actually think op made a huge mistake here. I know he didn't ask for this but he's the adult, he should have immediately stopped the game and had a serious talk with those kids about how that shit is wrong. I think trying to teach them a lesson by beating them in combat was just dumb and was never going to teach them anything.

[@BioMatic2]

I agree, the moment he saw the first red flag (when they started asking to seduce after specifically asking about boob size) he should've told them that this wasnt that kind of game and could've stoped this before it started to move towards rapesville. It was the wrong situation to use the "actions have consequences" game teaching methode (wich even in normal cases i think its flawed)

[@silverstorm1000]

@@BioMatic2 yeah since at that point maybe the lesson they’d take would be “become very high level and strong before you go raping people”

[@Promthanius]

Nope. Not his place

[@VeRG1L_47]

Nah. It wasn't his place to teach them. Kids didn't ask for lesson or explanation, so op did a right thing by contacting their parents.

[@pinecone2214]

@@VeRG1L_47 ​ @Promthanius what about the kid with the father that didn't care?

[@mikigirl18]

I don't know... That dad that kept saying "Boys will be boys." was pretty awful too. Even if it is a game, it tells a lot about a person's mindset. He's probably the same one that said, "Women like a man that doesn't take 'no' for an answer.

[@bronzecobra8556]

This is why you make sure there’s always a high level lawful good war cleric in every tavern when you have a party like this.

[@360entertainment2]

“My dad says a woman likes a man that doesn’t take no for an answer!” “Is that why your dad’s on his fifth marriage and facing sexual assault charges?”

[@gorg6151]

Also why he broke into the McDonalds and stole five pounds of fries

[@SeanStrife]

Why did I imagine the fucking Smudge the Cat meme reading this?

[@wannabehistorian371]

“My dad says women like men who don’t take no for an answer” Oh no. _Oh no._ I pity any girlfriends he has in the future. And his mother.

[@kitsunechaos1837]

Granted, his mother might have been into it and THAT is why his dad thinks that. Regardless, yeesh...

[@persephonehades7547]

@@kitsunechaos1837 I really wonder...was that the same dad that was also really dismissive of his stepson's behavior? If the dude has said that before, and was the one to answer the phone/call OP back instead of the mom, it all really makes me wonder how he treats his wife.

[@thesun5275]

His mother was probably the kind of woman who liked to "play hard to get" unironically and it's why the dad said what he did.

[@b.vaegler6983]

@@thesun5275 and we're back to blaming men's behavior on women. Good job guys

[@thesun5275]

@@b.vaegler6983 if women stopped doing that manipulative bullshit then no one would pass this shit down. Just saying.

[@monochromayhem7422]

The group of young guys are behaving in a way that makes me think that these boys have bad things happening behind closed doors. The way the act and talk about how their dads would react is chilling.

[@Destroyer_of_Worlds]

"It's just a game" Yes, but it's still concerning they would behave this way.

[@itakru]

"My dad says women like men who don't take no for an answer" "She'll be like a pet! We can use her!" "She'll learn to like us." I didn't think I could actually fuse to my chair but I leaned so far back that now me and the chair are stuck in the wall. Nani THE FUCK.

[@chaosincarnate7304]

NOOO WHY DID YOU SAY STUCK IN THE WALL DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!?

[@joeymulvey3450]

stuck in the wall you say

[@niffleraku]

Those are such huge red flags my god their viewpoints need to be corrected otherwise they're gonna grow up as asshole abusers or smth

[@amdog746]

Your in the wall ha I’m in the roof I win

[@johnsteampunk6408]

@@amdog746 There is no Roof- Random Colonel in North Africa, Tunisa Campaign 1942.

[@EveleenKisune]

Honestly the moment someone starts sexually assaulting a NPC when it was not talked about prior and agreed on as an okay topic. You need to just slap ninth level spells and perfect stats on NPCs. Or just shut the game down.

[@CritCrab]

Preferably the latter

[@LoarvicLoarvic]

Acting in-game is legitimizing thier actions (and also railroading, but I digress). Just tell them that's wrong.

[@vankook]

DM- Here's an idea.... SAY! NO! SAY NO TO THEM! Two letters that make one word that we use when we don't like something. SAY! NO!

[@NBDYSPCL]

This is why all taverns need a mimic hole. Also the dm should have just walked away as soon as it started happening.

[@Ashtari]

I honestly think this is the FIRST time I've seen Crit Crab completely disassociate from the story and have his soul leave his body temporarily. Then again, this story is just nightmare fuel...the only boy who might course correct is the one raised by his Aunt. Otherwise...I'm pretty sure the rest are going to turn some poor girl/girls into a statistic.

[@Nerobyrne]

They'll be on r/niceguys pretty soon, complaining about how women only go for jerks. After which they'll likely be on trial for sexual assault.

[@bubbasbigblast8563]

@@Nerobyrne Which is funny, because the nicest guys I know never had a problem getting girls. In fact, the only ones who couldn't even if they tried were boring jerks...

[@cageybee7221]

@@bubbasbigblast8563 "niceguy" =/= actually a nice guy, it's people who think they are nice but are actually narcissistic assholes who always say "but i'm a nice guy!"

[@shadenox8164]

@@bubbasbigblast8563 Yes that's the difference between guys who are actually nice and "nice guys". Nice guys would be the boring jerks, that insist they're actually nice.

[@EldritchMcPie]

@@Nerobyrne I sure hope not, but there is a definite risk.

[@marquisealexander1371]

Let’s make one thing super duper clear. There’s no such thing as “roll to seduce”. There’s persuasion/intimidation/deception/performance. D&D doesn’t advocate seduction; neither should you as a DM. Player: “I roll to seduce!” DM: “No clue what you’re talking about.”

[@silverstorm1000]

I think he played it off well though. Showing them their actions have consequences, even if it’s just in game.

[@Lanoira13]

I think plenty of players can engage with the concept of seduction in RP responsibly, but I don't think RP would ever be hurt by treating it more as a facet of persuasion/deception/performance (based on style of approach), it feels like a better way to humanize NPCs and immerse players. If players wanna "seduce" in RP, even responsibly, make them work for it, and leave the possibility of the NPC just not being interested.

[@privatizitat815]

I'd say, persuasions roll to see if they can even try to seduce, while the seducing is more RP. I wouldn't do that in my games though, I'm not a big fan of seduction or romance or whatever

[@heyfell4301]

I usually use Performance to "act in a sexy way" or Persuasion to "convince someone to date-me/whatever". It depends on the kind of flirt, i'm 99% of the time a Bard, so yeah.

[@sluttyMapleSyrup]

@@privatizitat815 That's what my party uses for seduction the few times it actually comes up. Or a combination of persuasion and performance.

[@willc3697]

The DM’s first mistake was humbling their thoughts by going with it. He should have immediately shut it down once it left “hopeless romantic” and entered “sexual and physical assault”. The kids aren’t going to learn anything by simply losing a game, they’ll just try again and again until they get what they want, you should’ve put your foot down and said “no, that’s enough, I’m not gonna DM for a bunch of murderhobos who just learned how to masturbate.”

[@DarkPascual]

I totally agree with you, but I guess that he didn't knew how to put a stop or tried to stir the situation into a more pleasant - teachable experience. I'm lucky enough to never have been in a game with a bunch of coomers so I don't know how I would've reacted. But yeah, the only proper course of action is saying "guys, this is really creepy and I have no interest in going on this way. Either cut it out or I'm out."

[@filaristillixusilan6109]

"I rolled like I had weighted dice." Pretty sure Actual God himself was behind those rolls lol

[@bouboulroz]

Okay, but putting aside all that crap, that dragon and princess pick up line was hilarious. It really sounds like the stereotypical pick up line women would have heard dragonborns use hundreds of times.

[@izzyq9200]

I get the feeling that disinterested stepdad saying "it's just a game" was also the one who said the "women like men who don't take no for an answer" line..

[@silverschmid4591]

he was.

[@smokescreen100]

As someone who played dnd when i was 13. Those guys...i wish i could say they were outliers but i could see a third of my classmates doing this shit

[@bragsaint7824]

"I want to grab the woman's as-" Suddenly the woman transforms into a miniature death star and disintegrates you before return back to her original form and continues with her day Works every time

[@Regigigas_YT]

RAMIEL FROM EVANGELION BOTTOM TEXT

[@Knockduster]

This is a CritCrab video You know the rules, and so do I A lot of cringe is coming right our way We wouldn't get this from any other guy

[@aidanjackson5084]

Yeah, my mind also went to a RickRoll when he said "You know the rules, and so do I"

[@johnathonrouse7581]

@@aidanjackson5084 Neckbeardia: Please allow us to introduce ourselves, we're a couple of cringey tastes~

[@dinodexter6575]

You wouldn't get it from any other crab

[@rararasputin8608]

@@johnathonrouse7581 We're much like Hero Hei and others tied to anime, the horny kind, to your distaste...

[@ULTIMATZEKROM]

He just wants to warn you of the horror In this story of D&D

[@LunDruid]

"Women like men who don't take no for an answer." Since freaking when?!?!

[@alessandropereira4976]

I bet a rapist would say the same thing

[@risottopose9970]

Those are 80s dating tactics if I’ve ever heard them

[@kaylawoodbury2308]

Some women like to play the hard to get "no means yes/try harder" game. Those aren't women you want to associate with as they are extremely toxic and manipulative. Regardless the "women like a persistent guy" attitude will only ever end badly for the guy doing it. Either you're in a miserable relationship, end up being an Incel or a Nice Guy, get a restraining order or blocked and reported if it's strictly online or worst case scenario you do something heinous that lands you in jail...

[@Cell287]

I was taught no means god damn no.

[@Rainart520]

@@kaylawoodbury2308 While I think you’re trying to come from a genuine place, that general sweeping statement was callous. “Playing hard to get” isn’t a thing. There’s enthusiastic consent, no consent, or manipulation

[@amandafowler1540]

"you know the rules. and so do I" (chk chk) SAY GOODBYE

[@Lex60]

The kids had luck that the DM was a decent person. Just think what would have happened if an actual creep [as the ones that Mr Crab here had presented us in other videos] was the one DMing the session.

[@gabrielbaima7891]

"I wanna do (bad stuff)" "you can't" "but I wanna" "give me your sheet" *rips it* 90% of D&D problems solved

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

That's when an ancient red dragon falls out of the sky, landing on and killing all of them.

[@jaffarebellion292]

@@Lobsterwithinternet I'd teleport them into a dimension with fifteen Terrasqs (Spelling may be wrong. I haven't read their Monster Manual entry in a while), play out one round where the Terrasqs do nothing, then just wipe the party in the second round. But maybe I'm cruel that way. At the end of the day, I'm a proportional response kind of guy.

[@cageybee7221]

"the husband takes out his sword and kills you, because this is DnD and the vast majority of people have weapons and know how to use them to defend their families."

[@theomegajuice8660]

"Suddenly you all have heart attacks and die, wondering how the Gods could have be angered so much that they would strike you with such terrible luck"

[@gabrielbaima7891]

Big Horny Ruins will be the name of my next cu- I mean, oneshot campaign

[@AskMoonBurst]

So.. 9 minutes in and I'm just thinking "DM should have just said 'I'm not doing any sex scenes. Don't try it, I think it would be actually illegal for me to do that. But if you want to run an adventure, we can do that."

[@Nerobyrne]

They don't take No for and answer

[@jhinpotion9230]

@@Nerobyrne So you, as the GM, just get up and walk away.

[@AngelofEresos]

I'm honestly a little shocked he didn't just go "Do you guys know what rape is? Did you guys know that's what you're trying to do? And that only very, very bad people do that? And that you can go to jail for it?" Or something in that vein.

[@Nerobyrne]

@@AngelofEresos nothing is rape with enough mental gymnastics

[@Hangman-yq5uh]

@@Nerobyrne I pity the fool who uses a mental gymnasium.

[@brynne7738]

I'm really glad he told the parents. Kids like that are the reason I hated going to high school and I would have told their parents if I actually believed anything would have been done. Thankfully, they all got kicked out, before my senior year.

[@delqyrus2619]

DM: "Fine. As you turn to find a back room, 5 town guards rush in [...] Pick your next move wisely!" - Player: "I'll take the dumbest descision!"

[@marcuskorson8]

"dad says women like men who don't take no for an answer" Guess we know why dad is no longer around.

[@solouno2280]

He was pushed down the stairs because he gotta die

[@Gallacant]

Truly fatherless behavior

[@pessoaaleatoria2586]

the step dad isn't that better tho

[@Walleyedwosaik]

Oof DAMN

[@sleepingpiranha8879]

"I'm just a dragon looking for a princess to guard in my tower. Will you be that princess?" Not gonna lie, that was, in my opinion a really good pickup line. Edit: This comment is almost a year old. Why is it getting so much attention? XD

[@hoganlex1]

Let me hold you hostage is a good pickup line?

[@chaosincarnate7304]

@@hoganlex1 I mean.. Maybe?

[@securityg1618]

@@hoganlex1 depends on what they're into

[@panpan1287]

@@hoganlex1 eh, I've heard of weirder kinks

[@l3k064]

I thought it at least was clever, just hope they all got through puberty as better people

[@fred_derf]

The orc grabs the 15th level halfling rouge who draws her +4 dagger of wounding and gets in a surprise sneak attack -- or if you want to be generous, presses the dagger up against the Orc's throat and says "I think you owe me an apology" while the rest of the bar starts laughing...

[@nharviala]

Man, you know this gets bad when CC pauses to drop an F-bomb.

[@inky5574]

I'm pretty sure these guys never even TALKED to a woman before other than their mothers.

[@Eusong]

No, they've never talked to their mothers either.

[@MALICEM12]

Well they're 13 soooo

[@kitkatboard]

@@MALICEM12 I'd argue 13 years on Earth is long enough to have interacted with girls your age

[@calebjackson3895]

The moment any player says "seduce," I just say, "I'm not roleplaying a sex scene with you, so consider whether any other outcomes are worth it."

[@shawmiserix404]

i say unless your gonna put a ring on it or respect the ring they have i'll have to introduce you to warren the town guard captain a half dragon minotaur level 10

[@shawmiserix404]

most games i run take you from 1-6 so the threat of a minotaur that can breathe fire and has a massive fuck your shit up konobo and a tower shield wearing heavy plate armor is usually enough to dismay would be rapists

[@shawmiserix404]

warren is an evolution of the consent minotaur "if you know you know"

[@JETBLACKPRIEST]

That princess line from the Dragonborn is surprisingly good for a 13 yr old.

[@genericperson360]

“Okay, what are you investigating?” “I wanna see if there are any women here.” “Yes, you see a few women amongst the men sitting at the tables” “Do they have big boobs?” *boss music of your choice starts playing*

[@temmiecody]

I had bad expectations going in, but holy shit that was rough.

[@curnott6051]

Eh, I dunno, sounds like your typical x-box 360 live lobby.

[@SavagePassion666]

@@curnott6051 I can see the appeal of muting everything.

[@curnott6051]

@Wolfgal900 Boop Never said it did. Just that this is hardly anything new or unique.

[@lunaredelvour2972]

... that's a poor choice of words-

[@GURGLEGUY12345]

8:53 CritCrab: "Oh, fu'--" *Immediately, an ad playing AC/DC's **_Back in Black_** begins*

[@ghiaccio8081]

THE FUCKING CHILLIES ONE??????

[@GURGLEGUY12345]

@@ghiaccio8081 I think so.

[@flamerlaka7422]

I got calm flute playing.

[@DeusMachina_EXE]

I got a kit kat add. Yes, I did need a break.

[@RogueT-Rex8468]

That’s hilarious.

[@DanniDerpy]

why is the aunt seemingly the best parent of all the parents?

[@nathanwilkins6107]

Tbh the dm should have just… said no. “Hey guys, sorry but we’re not running that kind of game, you guys are too young and the last thing I need is your moms getting on my case for letting you role-play adult content.”

[@echillaoi451]

I feel like making SA a divine crime punished by a god coming down from heaven that blasts the absolute shit out of the players would be a quite effective deterrent.

[@redwitch12]

"Oh, you didn't know there was a deity of consent in this campaign setting?"

[@benjaminthibieroz4155]

"the divinity protecting SA victims just intervene from a distant plan to cast a curse on you. You're no longer able to approach the halfling within 10 feet, you have disadvantage at ALL of your checks and your skin is irreversably branded with the words "I'm a rapist". Since it's common knowledge around the world, everyone can now freely put you in jail".

[@SecuR0M]

theyre clearly playing in rance setting god is not only pro-rape but it's one of the commandments the power of truly empowered females/feminist authors is too much for americans i guess

[@necrosteel5013]

I think having them incur the wrath of multiple guards/adventurers is enough. If they do commit SA outside any place with witnesses, even then They will soon after have their alignment shift, debuffed permanently and may soon morph into some form of demonspawn based on severity of the sins committed.

[@justyouraveragehumanbeing7411]

@@necrosteel5013 actually, having a lore reason where sa turns people into monsters just like eating human flesh turns you into a wendigo is really clever.

[@legndofphoenix]

I'm amazed he kept letting this play out. I'd have shut it down as soon as they tried the first time. Suddenly everyone in that bar is level 20. You're all dead.

[@shadenox8164]

Barmaid produces dagger and stabs the guy's hand. "You think I haven't had to deal with creeps like you before?"

[@pauligrossinoz]

You're all dead ... _and your corpses are impaled on long spears and displayed at the entrance to the town, each bearing a sign stating that this is what happens to r@pists._ Thanks for playing. Bye.

[@lordfelidae4505]

Boyfriend comes by. He’s a human fighter three times their combined level. He has magic items.

[@Schluviel]

I 100% agree with you, but i wouldn't even give them the OP kill-Fake-Roleplay. I'd just ended that shit as soon as they did non-con shit.

[@TheDaxter11]

Yeah... as soon as I'd see where it was going I'd just get up, "nope, not doing this" and walk off.

[@dusksentry5836]

you could probably, legitimately, teach kids like this a lesson via such an immersive medium. "we're starting over all your characters are female" "but that's not what i chose!" "yeah, people dont choose their gender. Anyway, as you go to pick up a quest, a gross, smelly old orc stumbles up to fighter and throws an arm around you."

[@VexedVergil]

Have to admit, the beginning was super funny, between the immediate asking about girls. Asking about boob sizes and then the funny yet legit pick up lines were just hilarious to imagine. I do have to say the dm got sensitive pretty easy at the boob thing. However it got very dark and very gross quick after the pick up lines and I'm glad the dm stopped and notified the parents. Also kuddos to the dm for humoring the players and letting them do the funny stuff

[@IceDragon978]

Always keep a character sheet for an elite town guardsman on hand for when your new players try to pull some shit like this. They can't harass the NPCs if they're all dropped and detained instantly. After all, why wouldn't the tavern flocked to by cocky new adventurers, have security of their own?

[@benjaminthibieroz4155]

by logic, if the world was flooded with powerful adventurers randomly seeking moeney, then the most powerful and talented one would be offered permanent well-payed jobs to keep everyone in check. Totally agree. In a world where so much power exist, they better remember there's always a bigger fish ready to eat you if you misbehave.

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

8:30 And that's when the bar owner, a level 10 bear totem barbarian, comes out from the back room and starts knocking heads with his trusty great hammer.

[@BioMatic2]

Oh shit, that actually sounds cool as fuck. The classic "you are messing with the wrong place"

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

@@BioMatic2 Gotta remind them that they aren't the biggest fish in the sea.

[@Beargrin89]

Hell, make the wife a 10th level rogue or fighter while you’re at it. An adventuring couple that retired after getting rich.

[@Lobsterwithinternet]

@@Beargrin89 You want to reinforce consequences for their actions, not come across as a railroading dick. Might as well drop an ancient red level 20 wizard Dracholitch on their heads.

[@catandrobbyflores]

And his level 20 moon druid wife.

[@hayleeofthevalley]

The end result is exactly what I was expecting. People always tell you to contact parents about this shit thinking that will actually solve anything. News flash everyone, kids learn this behavior FROM their parents. Parents rarely give a shit because they think the same way lmao.

[@sadchiefanakin1496]

"Do something else" "No" how many of my early DM games have had this conversation? way to many.

[@patjacksonpodium]

Me at literally every point past them entering the tavern: "WHY IS THE DM NOT PULLING THE PLUG ON THIS?!?!?"

[@aso576]

These guys would make some good introduction bad guys for a normal campaign

[@danascroggins9271]

Yeah, a group go into a tavern to see some childish harassers and beat 'em up

[@ILYSNAF]

Maybe an interesting way to shake up "you are in a tavern" campaign intro and get the party to work together right off the bat for a common goal.

[@ivanivan744]

A low-level adventure where the players have to save a bar maid from another group of adventurer npcs? Sounds like a fun session

[@zjuraeventide8949]

@@ivanivan744 Except the bar maid curses like a sailor, has daggers in her shoes, and throws a mean right hook.

[@12DAMDO]

yeah they gave me Berserk bad guys vibes

[@wesleythomas7125]

"As soon as you grab the barmaid, the bartender smokes you accross the back of the head with a crowbar and you die. Roll up a new character. Any more like that and you're out."

[@midnight3233]

"you know the rules and so do I" *flash backs*

[@unfortunatesun]

My wife and I just defined Critcrabbin as the act of watching CritCrab videos in a shared audio space.

[@qwertyasdf4081]

Put it on UrbDic

[@zjuraeventide8949]

We're going to make Critcrabbin a thing

[@Super_27]

I would say that the son probably acts a completely different way around the mom so she probably was just defending the son based on how he acts around her.

[@goosegod9414]

Very true, at least she came through though and went to talk to her son

[@eavguy8764]

When he said “Small halfling,” I felt that.

[@madmanis12345]

These kids remind me of the typical lv1 hooligans the MC one shots in the beginning of every fantasy anime ever

[@simonkennedy6116]

I've had a think about this and I think that if a guy wants to know if there are any women, the answer is "No, there's only men, they're wearing military uniforms. "

[@nataliealphonse4634]

"All bald with chest long beards and Termimator muscles, have fun seducing."

[@MongoTheMagnificent666]

And they're all giving you eyes and pursing their lips at you... Roll for initiative fucko

[@chaosincarnate7304]

@@MongoTheMagnificent666 Turns out the PC is actually gay and enjoys it. *Roll for Circumference*

[@Hangman-yq5uh]

@@chaosincarnate7304 *Nat 20* Oh no.

[@MALICEM12]

All fine and dandy I'm until you get a gay player, or a woman.

[@chuckfinley3906]

The council of crabs deems Karen and the dad the A-holes here. Council adjourned.

[@Cell287]

Sentence for them?

[@Tues48]

@@Cell287 put in the exact same situation their son's were trying to role play?

[@maximsavage]

@@Tues48 I'm kinda against using rape as a punishment... It involves empowering rapists to carry out the sentence, which I don't foresee ending well. Let's feed them to an army of crabs instead.

[@Tues48]

@@maximsavage I accept that. I just made an ironic punishment. "They think what their son's were trying to do wasn't bad? Then you play the maidens and see how you like it"

[@maximsavage]

@@Tues48 Yeah, I get it. It would be poetic, but practical implications prevent it.

[@KillerBlaze]

Dragon Borne’s pick-up line was dope af

[@Walleyedwosaik]

8:30 no you end it here no more just leave

[@wannabehistorian371]

Oh god. This was kind of heartbreaking. Kids can be so cruel, man. Though good on that Aunt for not being afraid to tell her nephew when things aren’t okay.

[@noraallies598]

The dad was most likely the same dad that told his son that "women like a man who doesn't take no for an answer" (7:10)

[@jakerockznoodles]

That was exactly what I thought. 😔

[@callumfinlayson-palmer8393]

Lets just hope neither of them act on that and rape a poor woman.

[@GodOfPlague]

Well I use it anyway LETS GOOO! Lol I love that line.

[@thevoidcritter]

"one parent was mad that this was allowed" there are so many flaws in that argument

[@AM-yk5yd]

There are none. He is in control of players(kids or not it doesn't even matter). He easily could have denied roll to seduce. He denied ripping of shirt, for example. I'm not expecting him to do sexed, but railroad is not always bad.

[@thevoidcritter]

@@AM-yk5yd IIRC the story said he told the kid no, so the parents were mad the kid brought it up unprompted

[@AM-yk5yd]

​@@thevoidcritter OP said "I explained dnd was a game where you could do literally anything, it's just up to the kids". which is the opposite of no. Also OP is banned on reddit, which is quite a feat, so I'm not even sure he was that much better than teens. (post still can be found by googling "assault or grabbing part" with quotes)

[@fifi6079]

When he said "you know the rules and so do I," I thought we were gonna get Rick-rolled

[@DaNewWrksOfMeh]

We... we did

[@zjuraeventide8949]

Crit-rolled

[@destroyerinazuma96]

Session 0: "what do you wanna play?" Them: "FATAL" GM: "You're aware that what you do can also happen to you?" Them: "surprised Pikachu face"

[@bakedbaker9882]

It's like if you do something bad there's consequences for it! :o

[@trevorninja100]

Yeah this is cringy...but I will say I laughed at the dragonborn's "pick-up line". Definitely taking that for a dragonborn Bard