Drinker's Chasers - The Marvels Is A Broken, Convoluted Mess

[@spacedwarfbrewing2385]

"For those who are vaguely familiar with the MCU at this point because you haven't watched anything in the past five years other than our Takedowns of it" MauLer Guilty as charged.

[@danielfrongillo773]

Seriously I felt SO called out when he said that

[@chasehedges6775]

“DING DING DING! What do we have for him, Johnny.” - Jim Carrey, probably

[@krissteel4074]

Well I've saved a few bucks and quite a few hours of my life not going to them either for some time now. Plus I do like a good, concise rip on trash movies for the laughs, god knows there's probably few laughs in the MCU movies. We've also got youtube so there's all the cats you could ever want

[@darthbane2669]

End game was the last movie I saw lost all interest quarter way in.

[@Slcull-]

Yeah...

[@MikesGearGarage]

One word to describe the whole situation: Apathy. Apathy from the actors, the studio, and the fans. It's done. Disney marvel is a fart in the wind at this point.

[@smashypeople]

loki is the best thing they've produced since endgame.

[@joshgamingvlogs5203]

The movie was actually enjoyable and the people that saw it with me sure seemed to care. Yeah the vast majority of people that live off the hype have left but we don’t need them

[@synapse913]

Exactly. I gave Disney a chance after Endgame; but everything felt like an attempt to undermine the events of the Infinity Saga. I can’t be invested in that. Once Michael Douglas’ character gave his little rant on socialism in Quantumania, I was out for good. It’s propaganda that the writers can barely be arsed to disguise as art.

[@joshgamingvlogs5203]

@@synapse913 what does any of that have to do with this movie. It acknowledges the events of endgame and isn’t woke or preachy

[@syler100]

​@@smashypeopleand even that TV show was garbage but much better than this movie.

[@svetlanaandrasova6086]

For one,as a woman,I would like to get blamed for not seeing this movie,because I am partialy the problem its flopping. Why are men always blamed?

[@JoJo-vg8dz]

Excellent point.

[@dodumichalcevski]

Because Patriarchie

[@rustythecrown9317]

Double standard probably. If you went , you'd probably be pissed that they used women in these shitty roles making you women look bad. idk.

[@dearthofdoohickeys4703]

Making men the scapegoat is a habit at this point. It’s easier then admitting the movie sucks, and it’s a lie that’s proven successful before. But bad movies deserve to flop. Accusing the audience (male _or_ female) because they don’t want to spend money on your bad movie is idiotic childish cope.

[@RJALEXANDER777]

Right? If the movies were good at attracting women, that's 50% of the human population, the films should still be rolling in money. Barbie made ten times more than 99% of feminist movies out there, including anything Marvel has attempted to market to women, because it actually did appeal to people.

[@Njabs31]

My firm conviction is that Captain Marvel could have been a great character if the focus of her arc was trying to regain her humanity or prove her humanity - Essentially a human turned god who wants to learn how to be human again. Could have been a great pairing with Thor and even Hulk.

[@drdeesnutts48]

That would have been a great use for Ms Marvel. Something like some Ms Marvel sees a glimpse of Cap Marvel in the Endgame fight and thinks she was cool, then some big alien thing happens on earth and Carol comes in and saves the day Ms Marvel sees that and becomes a fan, then you do the Ms Marvel bands set up stuff and over the course of the movie you have a tension build where Ms Marvel slowly realises that Carol isn't very heroic or warm and becomes less enchanted with her but at the same time Carol finds herself wanting to live up to Kamala's adoration causing Carol to do some big heroic self sacrificial act. She survives it of course but Kamala sees the hero in Carol again and Carol learns to connect with people. That took me less than 5 minutes to write and I think that is a pretty solid synopsis for a great storyline for these 2 characters. Why couldn't they with years of time and millions of dollars come up with something better?

[@slaapliedje]

​@@drdeesnutts48Because modern writers suck?

[@drdeesnutts48]

@@slaapliedje I suck at writing too, maybe there's hope for me after all I just have to say transtrans and I'll be set.

[@slaapliedje]

@drdeesnutts48 I tend to think you have to actually have some character development of your own to be able to put a personality into your characters. Look at the Marvel writers, especially after Stan Lee passed... all they have to go on is the old comic books, and most of them don't read those, so how are they supposed to write them well?

[@Njabs31]

@@drdeesnutts48 I think Ms Marvel could be quite interesting if she had a similar motivation to Deku from MHA.

[@peterg76yt]

"Spaceballs" had a plot with setups and payoffs and character development.

[@rustythecrown9317]

and good writing , good direction , good characters ...etc...

[@ArnoldJudasRimmer..]

'The guys an asshole...' 'I know that! Whats his name..." 'No Lord, his Name is Major Asshole, from the line of Assholes....he is an Asshole' 'I don't believe this....I am surrounded by assholes' 'How many Assholes work here anyway?' 'YOOOOOOOOOOOOO' (everyone in the room) Absolute genius.

[@MrDj232]

To be fair there were moments where Spaceballs sucked. Some moments where it blows too. Coincidentally it's also the parts with a cold emotionless woman.

[@ArnoldJudasRimmer..]

@@MrDj232 it is still infinitely better written then this shit show 🤣

[@konos-p8842]

If they're stealing the air off the planet without a giant Transformer Maid with a vacuum, I dont want it.

[@Powermad-bu4em]

Dark Helmet approves this message.

[@judgedrekk2981]

"1,2,3,4,5,6? that's the same combination I have on my luggage" -President Scrube

[@Eva01-jy2qu7pu9r]

The death of MCU is a laughable disaster that you can't help but look at with how bad they're doing with their decisions. Instead of leaving everything alone with Endgame, they had to double down, and destroy what once was an amazing franchise of films that lasted an entire decade

[@Horvath_Gabor]

It's because they aren't art, at least for the studio, but a product. A product that needs to be continued to produce profits and make the investors happy. Them dragging the franchise down the mud isn't a failure from their perspective; it's just cashing out on all the goodwill and brand recognition they built up over a decade. It's just part of the business. They only consider it a failure if something fails to turn a profit, and so long as the Marvel movies do, they will keep churning them out,

[@garrettviewegh9028]

At least, after they stop making films, because they killed the MCU with bad writing and decisions (I think people are jaded by bad writing, not superheroes as a genre), we still have the Infinity saga to rewatch and enjoy. A saga of a great story, before Marvel and Disney reined everything.

[@robertblackman5984]

I think a two face quote from the dark knight comes to mind. 😔

[@chasehedges6775]

@@robertblackman5984 Alfred: “Some people just want to watch the world burn.”

[@seanharrison6719]

If you want a show with a unique universe and believable characters, watch For All Mankind. Very underrated and deserves massive praise!

[@mrbeans2425]

Don't you love when a mediums whole purpose is to SHOW NOT TELL, and they just can't help but do the complete opposite. Almost like they have NO IDEA what they are doing!

[@rustythecrown9317]

You added the term ''almost like '' by mistake there... thought I'd help ya out.

[@mrbeans2425]

@@rustythecrown9317 lol

[@brandonhoffman4712]

I thought a medium's purpose was to extract money from unsuspecting rich people who think they might be able to talk to dead loved ones...

[@Zennsunni]

I don’t think of giving them that much credit, I think it’s all very well intentioned, the message well known through deception, the story plays second class fiddle to the agenda

[@LordRykard9376]

It's called "exposition." It's frequently used on female characters by lazy writers. In the new Bethesda game Starfield, you come across a distress call to find a small cadre of police and space marines barely defending themselves against aggressive spacers. One of those holdouts is a female marine who all of the characters around you keep lauding her as some amazing capable marine. Yet, she doesn't demonstrate that with an ample target-rich environment that you become responsible for clearing out.

[@Сайтамен]

She is trying to steal the air? They did the Spaceballs joke unironically!

[@rustythecrown9317]

''Suck... Suck... Suck...''

[@JRL1985]

Thereby destroying planet Druidia and saving Planet Spaceball!

[@muznick]

"Princess Vespa will remain my prisoner, until such time - as all the air is transferred from your planet...to ours."

[@JRL1985]

@@muznick goddamn was that a great movie.

[@Xplora213]

@@rustythecrown9317one of the best moments in cinema, along with the Blazing Saddles bell rings as Bart arrives into town.

[@theequalizer9154]

Chris Gore is spot on when he refers to Brie Larson as a, "hollow" actress.

[@rustythecrown9317]

But thanks to her job seeking skills , she's not empty.

[@stevewhite3424]

​@@rustythecrown9317You mean her management company.

[@YouTellemFrosk]

How did she get into A grade studios? I don’t understand; she has no gravity

[@Dereliction2]

We might presume the same way all of these talentless actresses get there.@@YouTellemFrosk

[@brandonhoffman4712]

Because the feminist movement needed recruitable actresses

[@GIBBO4182]

0:21 got me laughing out loud straight away! Kind of describes Brie’s whole personality perfectly…not just her acting! 😂

[@theequalizer9154]

Brie Larson is more of a personality than she is an actress. Her personality...... well, we've all seen that.

[@lostalone9320]

Remember that Brie is an OSCAR winning actress. For a movie no-one saw and that no-one remembers, but she's apparently what the establishment deems to be "the best".

[@rustythecrown9317]

@@lostalone9320 she must have an incredible head game .

[@SniperKingz]

@@rustythecrown9317 Crazy chicks usually do.

[@daddynanners3944]

part of that is probably her sheltered homeschooling. There's nothing wrong with homeschooling, but a lot(not all) of the kids that I've met are a bit...odd.

[@natsohigh5552]

Brie makes out she does all this training. But she looks no different before, during or after filming 😂

[@ephraimwinslow]

She's talking about the training done by her butt double.

[@machofreak123]

Looks like she never lifted a weight. Nice chest though

[@nerychristian]

She wears a training bra

[@lowkeyarki7091]

A week of training would already show results, its like she was just posing and never actually trained

[@xXLilSmurthXx]

She literally looks like a fit toothpick. It'll that's not working out then I don't know what it is. Stop critiquing just for the sake of critiquing.

[@deadschooled]

I agree with Chris on Brie’s acting

[@rustythecrown9317]

''acting'' lol... as if she could.

[@rick.d]

She was SO good in those Community episodes. Just sad.

[@maverickmic]

I enjoyed her in Scott pilgrim and looking forward to the anime reunion on netflix. I think she let fame colour her and then round 2 shed well given up and mellowed The writing of Captain Marvel Vs the original avengers it was set to fail, oh here's your new champion were ramming down your throat and is also more powerful

[@stevenbradshaw-wr1mn]

He’s right on the story being told to us instead of shown to us. 100%

[@Dgafsranger]

​@@maverickmicshe is not a good actress she is mediocre at best yes she is pretty but that's about it acting bad personality bad

[@EnsignRedshirtRicky]

I love how the write-director could not even be bothered to follow her own continuity that she establishes as one of the main plot points. Proving why hiring people based on skill is essential to actually succeeding.

[@theeffete3396]

Films and TV shows used to have a person (or small team) whose sole responsibility was looking for inconsistancies and continuity breaks. However, Disney has churned out so much shit so quickly, that even if they had such a team, they were probably like "fuck it!"

[@PhantomFilmAustralia]

@@theeffete3396 I doubt it's a "fuck it" attitude. Seems to be a "paint-by-numbers" designed by the woke, inbred elite. Then when the movie bombs, it's like..."We meticulously did everything that was required and the film bombed. We don't understand what the fuck is going on!" They have no idea.

[@griswoldclark6835]

@@theeffete3396 honestly what is the point of watching a Disney show if it doesn’t not connect anyway to a movie?

[@tyranidswarmlord9722]

@@theeffete3396 They was said Commitee actually. Disney got rid of them, take a guess when.

[@mosesdouglas4325]

​@@theeffete3396continuity director I believe

[@zendodeb]

Watching the Critical Doggos take a nap and listen to you guys discuss this movie is more entertaining than anything to come out of Disney in years

[@phatpat63]

"For those who are listing who are vaguely familiar with the MCU at this point because you haven't watched anything in the past five years other than our takedowns of it," Oh, wow, he's talking directly to me.

[@harrydbastard]

Thanos won in the end when the heroes got brought back we got the weak unlikable ones the real ones are still dead

[@cadenadelreino1442]

Infinity War would have been the best and most emotional ending for the MCU actually…Let Tony kill Thanos and die anyways and The End. Maybe they should have done a reboot with a different tone after that…

[@FA-nd9uk]

Is funny cuz i think after end game, the only worth telling story after it has been Loki s1 and 2. They should have been pushed the pause button and just do loki, spiderman and guardians 3.

[@skum73]

"The plot is told to you, not shown to you". That is one of the major problems with films now. They say things like "Im going to go into the other room to think about this" rather than just doing it.

[@chasehedges6775]

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@chasehedges6775]

Pretty much

[@hansoloist9756]

If men are responsible for it’s failure…you’re welcome. 👍

[@erikhermansen3431]

I'm doing my part!

[@RocafellaPlaza]

You do know why they call it a Cockpit don't you?

[@randycliff4045]

Disney is so broken, so damaged, so lost and so untrustworthy, there's no way I can be convinced the movie was not full of woke garbage. I would believe though that the delays were in part so most of that type of nonsense could end up on the cutting room floor.

[@yurichtube1162]

Marvel is done

[@chasehedges6775]

Disney is so broken, so damaged, so lost and so untrustworthy. 💯💯. This.

[@suezcontours6653]

​@@yurichtube1162USA is done. Aren't you guys struggling to have babies?

[@yurichtube1162]

@@suezcontours6653 The USA is most definitely decaying. The wrong people are in charge.

[@LordRykard9376]

Guaranteed. Same thing happened with the last Bond film. I'd bet they were actually going to make Bond a black chick but got a lot of push back by test audiences.

[@Johnnyboy000]

It's not spoilers if the audience has no intention to watch the movie. You can talk about the 3 minutes of the movie that's worth watching all you want. Great job as always!

[@HasturBeta]

It'd be funny if all 3 used their powers at the same time, instead of switching places they just chronenberg'd together into a giant meatpile

[@erikhermansen3431]

Don't tease that. Don't give me hope.

[@cgates2]

😂😂😂

[@cgates2]

That’s some Robot Chicken shit.

[@ChineduOpara]

​@@cgates2That's some Rick & Morty shit. And I would have loved it.

[@alexmelling5261]

"for a brief synopsis of the plot, we should probably go to Mauler" For a brief synopsis? BRIEF?

[@ashblossomandjoyoussprung.9917]

The Valkyrie thing felt pointless. Also, weird that she pretty much only shows up to get a kiss on the cheek from Captain Marvel.

[@stevef68]

The put FIVE chicks in it, had to make some gay, and all LAME.

[@TheDuckofDoom.]

Purely "Gotcha!" bait. Only in there to try and get the critics to mention it so they can blame all the bad reviews on politics.

[@theeffete3396]

I'm convinced that Tessa Thompson's agent pushed for that scene just to fulfil some contractual agreement. Many contracts stipulate that an actor must appear in X number of films, and with the way Disney Marvel is heading, pushing to fulfil that contract would be a smart decision.

[@ArnoldJudasRimmer..]

​@@theeffete3396Tessa should have been thrown in the obscure bin for her crimes against acting in Men In Black International.

[@JamesBurrTV]

The Director's next movie (the one she left this one early for) is starring Tess Thompson. Wouldn't surprise me if she just got her a pay cheque as a favor or if they needed to have a meeting and they got Marvel to pay for the trip because of the "cameo."....@@theeffete3396

[@carlrood4457]

The irony of this attitude is if you look at the character history, Carol Danvers started as someone who was terrible at her job. She was in charge of security at the base Mar-Vell was undercover at and as a result he'd go into action as Captain Marvel at. Those security breaches got her drummed out.

[@TheMasterQuests]

Walter was a slick one but it’s not only that but she fell in love with the guy too

[@justinlast2lastharder749]

It gets even funnier when you realize the ACTUAL CHARACTER as Captain Marvel is hated In Universe by all the other Heros for the same reasons we cannot stand the movie version. Hilariously, Carol Danvers might be the most "accurate to the comics" character we've seen on screen so far. She was the VILLAIN of Civil War. There was even an Arc where the Villain put everyone in some kind of Trance where they were living in their individual version of a "perfect Universe"...Carol Danvers' "perfect universe" was one where she was the most powerful superhero and everyone treated her like some combo of Jesus and Superman.

[@emperorsean1]

And she was exposed to the energy from the robot that was gonna nuke planet earth. Mar vel was sent their to test earth. Also Mar vel was a guy originally. That's how she got her powers originally. Avengers earth's mightiest heroes depicted her character so much better.

[@emperorsean1]

​@@justinlast2lastharder749that was civil war 2 not the original marvel civil war by Mark Miller.

[@Amarenamann]

*"In Russia, if hand is rotten, you cut off hand. If arm is rotten, you cut off arm. But if heart is rotten... you cut off leg. This is Russian love song."* -Bilbo Baggins

[@Erasureeraser]

Iman Vellani better go to the hospital due to her back must've hurt for carrying this entire movie. If it wasn't for Kamala and the cat army, this movie would've been an unwatchable disaster, probably on par with Fant4stic. For me, Kamala made the movie semi watchable whenever she's on screen aswell as those cats. That's pretty much it, everything else is just so boring. Not even Nick Fury could save it and that's saying something

[@chasehedges6775]

Pretty much.

[@chasehedges6775]

💯💯💯👍. Exactly

[@lostalone9320]

She has charm! She's likeable! Perfectly cast for the young adults that the character is best known to. Why doesn't she get a proper movie?

[@Christian.9198]

@@lostalone9320 She had a whole tv show that had low viewership.

[@davidfrancisco3502]

She's a brainless teenager that acts like an annoying toddler in the entire M-SHEU.

[@earthlingcarl3179]

It's so enjoyable watching everyone trash this in their reviews, such a warm feeling :)

[@Noodleydoo]

OMIGOD "Brie Larson is copying what she thinks real emotions look like" LOL!! Chris Gore for President!! That is EXACTLY how Brie comes off to me, too! Perfectly put. There is something off about that woman, whereas all the other Marvle ladies are relatable.

[@stephenschroeder6567]

This all gives us an even greater appreciation of the MCU through End Game. No matter what Disney/Marvel screws up now and going forward, there will always be those movies that really were well done. Reminds me a bit of the line from Supertramp's Long Way Home: "When you look through the years and see what you could of been, oh what you might have been, if you'd had more time."

[@House_of_M_Studios]

When they called the nega-bands “quantum bands” I actually said out loud in the theater “STOP MAKING EVERYTHING IN THE MCU QUANTUM” I’m so sick of these writers using the word quantum because it’s a sciencey word no one will check on😂

[@MartinFWhite]

Here's my problem: Captain Marvel has only been active on Earth for about 5 minutes since her first debut. Literally she fought in the Skrull thing, then came back for Thanos. Who is the young girl to worship her? There wasn't any press around. Her arc is wasted, yet Disney said "Eh, it's good enough. Cram her in."

[@totesmagotes213]

I haven’t seen her show, but I wonder if there is a better explanation of why this girl idolizes a hero who hasn’t been active on Earth at all.

[@kicknowledgesmith8608]

Yes, good point. I say this all the time and get tons of hate. There's no reason for Ms. Marvel to be this much of a fangirl. They just use the excuse that it's in the comics. They just want her to be praised so badly.

[@johntabler349]

This discussion reminds me of an episode of Lois and Clark the New Adventures of Superman, when Lois temporarily gets super powers and ends up broken and in tears because she was just not able to save everyone in danger and for the first time understands the terrible burden super powers can be

[@theeffete3396]

Since they clearly wanted to tie the MCU with the Fox X-men universe, what this movie should have been was "rifting in" Anna Paquin's Rogue somehow, who then steals Brie Marvel's powers, goes crazy, and becomes the movie's villian. A de-powered Brie must then team up with others to take down this new threat. No need for another "world-ending" contrivance for the umpteenth time... just a nigh-unstoppable villian drunk on her newfound powers.

[@BlackhaloZ]

Maybe save that plot arc for X-Men vs. The Avengers.

[@kalesmart1]

Dude i literally read that exact Wikipedia dump last night after looking at rogues origins etc because i was thinking how badly we need some "good" female characters. That was my thoughts too

[@MinesAGuinness]

Why would this be a great story to tell? You've opened a film about Captain Marvel with a rift in reality just... appearing... and then a random character from another film comes through it and decides to steal Danver's powers... and then she 'goes crazy' for... reasons... and then they have a big fight about something. But - to be clear on your own point - you want to write a story whereby the 'nigh-unstoppable villain drunk on her newfound powers' isn't a "world-ending" threat? Okay... and then? What is the ending? What happens to Danvers? To Rogue? What do they learn about themselves? Or do you think that placing two action figures on a screen to punch each other with CGI is a story?

[@BlackhaloZ]

@@MinesAGuinness "What happens to Danvers? To Rogue?" You could just read it in the comics. Rouge goes a bit crazy as she's stuck with Danvers' memories and thoughts, and Carol goes into a coma, eventually wakes up, lives a few years a muddle, then gets some powers when she gets exposed to cosmic energy, as she is still configured as someone able to wield them.

[@lostalone9320]

I've said it before and I'll say it again - All they had to do to make "Captain" Marvel work was make a Ms Marvel movie instead. Carol is super powerful but she has a drinking problem and imposter syndrome because, despite leading the Avengers, she feels she can't live up to the people she is following. A story about personal growth and that even offers a chance to move on from the first wave of characters in a meaningful way, as the new ones look back and wonder if they can be as great. A story where being super powerful isn't the answer, where Carol has to lead and be courageous. Instead we got a vehicle where Captain Marvel never needs to learn or grow, and just gets to win without any major problems. And then it got a sequal.

[@rustythecrown9317]

Captain Mary Sue.

[@drdeesnutts48]

They'd have needed a better actor for that.

[@smashypeople]

well put

[@marthflores3515]

Damn that actually sounds interesting

[@stanley-fghijk441]

To their point about Superman without kryptonite, this is why Grant Morrison's run of JLA is so brilliant. At the beginning of any bigger arc with a new threat he always found ways to neutralize Superman up front. He knew that having him there squashed all tension.

[@MinesAGuinness]

Or, perhaps, don't use that very hackneyed trope and write a story whereby the fact that Superman can perform incredible physical feats isn't the skill set which will solve the more nuanced problem?

[@mylesleggette7520]

@@MinesAGuinness If they were good writers they probably would be in an industry more prestigious and/or profitable than comic books...

[@wannabg5792]

Brie Larson's best acting was in Between Two Ferns

[@zeked4200]

Didn't see it, but that role seems right in her wheelhouse. Which of the two ferns did she play?

[@BigMcLargeHuge125]

I liked her in Community and Scott Pilgrim

[@rustythecrown9317]

@@BigMcLargeHuge125 I preferred her in Batman Returns.

[@judgedrekk2981]

@@zeked4200 LMFAO!!!

[@nofutureproductions9242]

​@@zeked4200lmao

[@McFrozenNuggets]

Does anyone besides me feel like this is Disney's attempt at a *_No Way Home_* with Kamala being their Peter 1, Carol being their Peter 2, and Monica being their Peter 3?

[@troybone6849]

Yessss I also feel like No Way Home was awful.. over 45min of scenes that felt as bad as Garfields spider man movies. Just long convoluted conversations and then CGI galore

[@rickyeska1]

No way home was so cringe

[@TheMasterQuests]

It’s got plot holes galore in the first act alone. It’s enjoyable if you turn your brain off but I picked it apart opening weekend

[@McFrozenNuggets]

@@troybone6849 It respected the past and gave fans what they wanted.

[@McFrozenNuggets]

@@rickyeska1 Only MCU movie after 2019 to hit a billion because it had quality storytelling.

[@Erasureeraser]

You know a movie is in big trouble when the cat army is far more interesting and anticipated than the rest of the characters 😂😂

[@ephraimwinslow]

"All female lead cast! Strong and diverse! Come one come all ladies! Let's girl boss!!!" And what do said women actually care about? The cats. It's almost beyond parody at this point.

[@Erasureeraser]

@@ephraimwinslow Well the cats are strong, diverse, and imagine if they're all female cats which is the kind of female empowerment that people are looking for in this movie through the 🐈 😂😂

[@TenFalconsMusic]

"Put a cat in it and make her lame!!!"

[@dragontear1638]

To be fair; Cat. But _many_ cats.

[@deathmetal271]

But would it manage to top the Catbun Wars?

[@shmeebs387]

You know who would have been a good villain for a Capitain Marvel movie? Rogue. Rogue from the X-Men has the ability to temporarily steal people's powers. But what many don't know is that she also has flight and super strength. Why? Because she syphoned Carol Danvers's powers so hard that they stuck permanently. Rogue was often a villain in her early comic appearances. It would have been a good opportunity to have Carol be a hero without being the most powerful character on the screen. IDK how the rights with the character work though.

[@deletebilderberg]

Great, another bloody woman.

[@GodOfPlague]

Marvel owns the X-Men so I imagine they own rogue

[@suezcontours6653]

​@@deletebilderbergUSA suffering a population decline for a reason, hey. You this scared of women you refuse to populate????

[@centerfield6339]

​@@deletebilderbergthat's not a problem. You're why legit criticism is called sexist. You're why terrible movies get a pass.

[@JamesShahan]

My favorite part of the movie is when the villain is talking to the Skrull leader and literally says something like, “…after I strip your world of its atmosphere.” And then when Captain Marvel shows up, he tells her, “How could you?” As if the treaty was rock solid before she showed up. Did they forget they left that dialogue in the movie???

[@garyrichards6079]

It's about " Black Girl Magic "

[@robch4414]

You know that moment in a really tense game of cards where everyone is really trying to win - except that one person who is giggling, making stupid mistakes, and genuinely can't understand why everyone is getting pissed with them, because - - - "It's Only A Game". MCU is that person. They obviously and genuinely cannot grasp why what they are doing is ticking off a once-loyal (and enormously valuable) Marvel fan base who have now given up their emotional investment in the franchise.

[@christophertaylor9100]

Basically, they did the single greatest Avengers storyline in history -- the Kree-Skrull war -- offscreen.

[@aldunlop4622]

When I saw Captain Marvel I thought that was going to be the focus of the new phase. Instead it was a bunch of convoluted, confusing tv shows and random movies.

[@christophertaylor9100]

@@aldunlop4622 I have a suspicion that all the stuff mentioned in passing as back story in the Marvels was supposed to be Captain Marvel 2 but it never got made.

[@dadocta5168]

Marvel has been broken since Thor Ragnarok. But hey that makes The Marvels more generic.

[@Muck006]

Marvel has been broken since before Endgame, because that plot is - since Spaceballs is mentioned - LUDICROUS SPEED. "Universe-threatening-dangers" are too big for humans to really understand; it works in a Comic but not in a movie, thus the entire Thanos plotline was ridiculous from the start, even though it was perfectly executed in the movies ... little hints and reveals painting a picture.

[@Hollyclown]

Wait, so our hero just nonchalantly committed solar system wide genocide? Wtf!

[@Muck006]

It's for *_the Greater Good,_* don't you know?

[@BlackhaloZ]

"Space Jews."

[@kingcrazymf9585]

I've been saying this for the last 10 years: Carol Danvers has a lot of potential for good stories. Brian Reed did it best back in 2005 with his run on Ms. Marvel and the MCU needs to repeat that. She needs a personal goal, a line-up of challenging rogues, and scifi/scifi horror plots with real stakes. Without those things, she's a glorified D-lister that no one wants anything to do with. Even worse, the writing of her movies and current comics prove it

[@juryrigging]

A line up of Rogues? Just one was enough to put her in a coma. 😛

[@BlackhaloZ]

@@juryrigging A de-powered Carol Danvers was one of the best story arcs in the Clarimont era X-Men.

[@kingcrazymf9585]

@@BlackhaloZ I'd rather give her tough old school villains with nowhere else to go. She has no real rogues gallery right now, so literally anyone not tied down could be thrown in. And I mean real villains, not someone who showed up in 1.5 comics like DarBenn

[@caralho5237]

Capt marvel is a horrible hero. Overpowered, has superman-like powers and just pops out of nowhere to "save" the day with a smug grin.

[@caliginousmoira8565]

@@caralho5237 so.... superman.

[@BPD308]

Chris having to use the old undercover marvel hero outfit just to see this movie is hilarious

[@BSJ-Unparalleled]

Brie Larson reminded of Ted Bundy in this role. He talked in interviews about how he tried to act like normal, and tried to portray emotions like everyone else to fit in, but I was always very difficult for him.

[@superturkle]

one reason theyve restricted cap marvel to mostly cameos might be that brie larson is difficult to work with. there is an interview clip where she is sitting with the thor and war machine actors, and its clear they dont like sitting near her. the war machine actor actually flinches and scowls when she touches his shoulder.

[@dbreiden83080]

Disney is now losing tons of money on these MCU movies.. The critics don't like them anymore, the fans are NOT turning out anymore.. It is time to stop making them..

[@thelaughingrouge]

Me, an 80's kid upon hearing she's trying to steal earths air: 🎶 cuz what you got is what we need and all we do is dirty deeds *WE'RE THE SPACEBALLS!* 🎶

[@kingofthepod5169]

You know its bad when mystery science theater 3000 can't get a joke out of it

[@oscarvi3232]

Chris Gore's opening comment on Larson's acting was excellent. The bickering between Drinker & Mauler was like listening to an old married couple... strangely heartwarming.

[@dangerdolls]

I took a look at the MCU chronology yesterday and realized that I pretty much checked out after Civil War. Sure I hung on for Infinity War, but I missed a couple of films along the way and stopped getting any of them on DVD or blu-ray. And I'm the sort of nutjob who has a library of over 5,000 films. My point is that while the present is indeed laughable, the peak was really quite some time ago before Infinity Snore finally concluded.

[@WorkerDroid]

I know what is missing in all the Disney Marvel superheroes…they are written as having no honour, no idea of risk and sacrifice, no noble virtues, a willingness to sacrifice their own life for others. This is the basic tenet of Iron Man and Captain America. Stark is a callous hedonist who learns about honour in the cave, observing a brave man die for him. Cap was always a decent guy. But now all these writers transfer their own shallow character, selfishness and low class onto the superheroes. And THAT is why they all suck now. Silly. Unlikeable. Uninspiring. Disney has lost its way,…..unless it is deliberate. They hate men, and it shows. They will go broke, it’s inevitable.

[@Handle35667]

Did Brie Larson have breast reduction surgery from the time she filmed the tank top scene that was used in all the trailers to the time she filmed the rest of the scenes of the movie?

[@nerychristian]

They ran out of money to CGI her chest

[@deadschooled]

And she has giant breast implants. They have to literally be taping them down

[@Fgway]

Didn't have any anyway. All we've ever had is tape and supportive costuming.

[@danjonmills]

There are Brie noods: she has/had volumous teddies.

[@SuperKillJoy15]

"Tries to steal the Air...and the Ocean" so hyped to see Marvels Peak and Fire story telling take inspiration from the first Ratchet and Clank

[@nicktalksbond]

Thats exactly what I thought 😂😂😂

[@evanstephens2203]

IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE Monica: Why don’t you just restart their sun? Carol: I don’t know how… Monica: WHITE GIRL MAGIC!!!

[@briang3598]

I kind of like the idea of a villain trying to steal the ocean or the air or things like that- goes back to a simpler, campier, more fun time in comics.

[@Powermad-bu4em]

But I just can't get past the Spaceballs connection.

[@ganymedes8]

From the sounds of it id rather just watch spaceballs again over this mess

[@kryptyk7712]

Probably the best dissection of a movie I have no plans to watch. Disney needs to take a hard look at how they killed their money printing machine. As you highlighted, there was no "the message" in the movie, probably some of the stuff that got left on the cutting room floor after they realized that it's not really doing them any favors (ala the "Zegs"). Unfortunately, because their writers are brainwashed deep in that mentality, they probably didn't have anything good to fill in the space left behind with actual plot or character development, cos well...there was a strike. That being said, Loki S2 was a fun watch, but there goes another one of the OG's.

[@Djoarhet001]

The only thing I ever saw of Captain Marvel was in Endgame. The apathy was already palpable. Which makes sense when she's basically a god. There's literally nowhere to go. No stakes, no growth, no conflict,... And not only Captain Marvel. Already in Endgame many other elements had the same problem; the nanosuits, the quantumrealms, the multiverses, the timetravels... They maxed out on so many things. And I don't mind. Endgame was what it was meant to be, the closing chapter. Anything that came after were... appendices. They did manage to catch lightning in a bottle and the film studios should have been happy with once but obviously they got even more greedy. The superhero genre is well oversaturated so the solution seems to.. just drop about most of it? But I do believe it could still work from a new angle. No magic jibberjabber end of the world stuff, just impactful characterdriven stories. Which reminds me I need to go watch the new season of Invincible. Fingers crossed.

[@jaylunwilliams1544]

You know what infinity war, game of thrones, and arcane have in common? They're tragedies. People enjoy when characters lives are vulnerable. Stakes matter.

[@peterburke579]

“It’s Mega Maid! She’s gone from suck to blow!”

[@Sherudons]

If she was just self aware enough to remedy her attitude she's a good looking and seemingly smart woman, she'd have a good reputation but she cannot or will not drop that ego she's not earned. Because of it she's like amber, everything her names attached to is tainted, doesn't help the mcu's gone down a drain too.

[@MrJoel9679]

Crazy thought… What if Brie is just unhappy that she is working in woke crap and really just wants to be in a DW+ version of Cinderella?!!! I’d pay to see that.😮

[@snowy10r]

They could’ve done something with the premise that Captain Marvel is over powered. She could tire of being a hero which creates a selfish desire to search the universe for a challenge rather than focussing on helping people. That could be her arc, finding where she fits in and learning to temper her strength.

[@BlackhaloZ]

That's where they need to do the "Rogue steals her powers" story arc.

[@jrd33]

She's not really all that powerful, though. She is certainly very tough, but she can only be in one place at a time, she only has human intelligence, she doesn't have any powers of persuasion or mind control or mind reading, she doesn't have super-senses. she can't warp space and time, etc. It's easy to write stories around a character whose only super-power is brute force because so many problems can't be solved with brute force.

[@Orthas1]

Im just here for the thumbnail. Well played sir

[@billjames8036]

I have to admit that picture of Bre in that white top looks awesome.

[@danjonmills]

Great teddies

[@andrewpeirce9189]

Great analysis, guys. Feels like I get more enjoyment out of you guys dissecting the movie than actually going and seeing the travesty myself

[@chuntsechien]

Talking about the villain, in Chinese, people are making fun of the villain, Dar-Benn. Because it sounds exactly like 大便 (da-bian), which means turds. That sums up this film or the current state of Marvel and Disney, it's a Dar-Benn. Now you have learned a new Chinese word, thanks to Marvel.

[@cellardweller5245]

It's like when name of Count Dooku had to be changed for Brazilian release because it sounded like Count Anus in Brazilian Portuguese, IIRC. Coincidentally, the movie was ass, too.

[@EdgyNumber1]

_JEREMY_ hit the nail with the hammer square on the head. *"Who is Captain Marvel?"* She is every creatively bankrupt, producer, director, writer etc that has worked on this pointless movie. She shows up to slaag everyone off. She f'xcks off, leaving her crew when they need help and guidance. Shows up to cause chaos and destruction then f'xcks off without any kind of culpability. And ultimately she's a waste of space.

[@drdeesnutts48]

Movie does seem to be the result of market research. "What do women like?" Cats they like cats, oh K-pop is popular with girls let's add a K-pop star there and a musical number. I'm a big Marvel guy and even had I had not heard of the villain Dar-Benn and there's a good reason for that, it's literally a throw away villain who used for one story in the 90s and never used again...also was a man and also had nothing in common with this movie. Seems to me like they wanted someone like Minn Erva but already pissed her away in the first movie and did nothing of consequence with her. They've also used up a bunch of other Kree figures Yon Rogg is gone, Ronan is gone, Korath is dead.

[@MassillonObie]

I said the same thing about Space Balls to my kids! We rolled our eyes in the theater because the vacuum cleaner did it better 40 years ago! I hated giving money to Disney to see this, but I knew I needed to see what happened so I understood the takedowns this upcoming week. What a conundrum.

[@todderickson2435]

Valkyrie is in this movie?! Reason #38 not to see it.

[@acetraker1988]

In the end of Loki they keep making the mistake of referencing 616 as the MCU, that is wrong.... Earth-199999 is MCU 616 is comics.

[@Сайтамен]

Valkyrie met Captain Marvel in that Endgame "she's got help" scene. Guess that was enough for her to fall in love...

[@Muck006]

Valkyrie isnt a valkyrie ...

[@Owlr4ider]

I don't understand how so many intelligent people here on KZbin keep saying that this movie isn't particularly offensive in terms of 'the message'. I mean, are you guys serious? There are literally no men in this movie other than Nick Fury's minor appearance. That on its own is a massive statement: 'we whaaamen need no men!'. Just as apathy is worse than rage, erasing men from the movie altogether is worse than making men either rapists of comic relief dufuses.

[@justsomeguy542]

Just had a thought, I may be wrong, but you know what may have been kind of cool. Marvel likes to have their big bad, they could have made Captain Marvel a villain. She spends the majority of her time traveling in space, what if she was enslaved by Galactus, then you have a lead in to the fantastic four and even possible X-men, with Rogue stealing her powers. I would watch that movie.

[@rustythecrown9317]

Cap Marvell and Black Adam have a baby.

[@BlackhaloZ]

I can see the scene now. Captain Marvel is laying waste to the X-Men, Rogue borrows Kitty Prydes phase powers to get close to Captain Marvel and Zap.

[@ralph-im-a-star-wars-wiggum]

"No, starvin' Mar-ven that's my oxygen!" "No, starvin' Mar-ven that's a bad starvin' Mar-ven!!!"

[@nadilenebudski]

The critical doggos show more emotion in this livestream than Brie Larson does in The Marvels.

[@barneymiller4088]

Drinker hit one of my major criticisms of super heroes, OVERPOWERED! Too many writer think that more powers and bigger themes means better. Frankly, my favorite parts are heroes who can’t stomp through every problem with a power for every eventually, saving the loved one, having to riddle out a solution that requires some strategy, being knocked one their ass by a big bad or situation, …. Multiverse is too big to emotionally engage with, timeline being cut off doesn’t feel like innocents dying, Capt. Marvel being unthreatened by anything feels lifeless, …

[@garrettviewegh9028]

You know what’s ironic? Though they chose to cause mayhem and it was mostly they’re own doing, the Cap Marvel is also partially responsible for the Scroll trying to secretly invade Earth. If she’d stayed, or if Fury had called her, she could’ve helped them find a home. Heck, they could’ve found their own home with the technology they were able to build! It’s a wonder the villain of this movie, and the remaining evil Scroll, didn’t team up to take out Fury, Shield, and Cap Marvel and her friends.

[@matthewronsson]

'...it was mostly they are own doing...'.

[@brandonhoffman4712]

It sounds like you went and saw this crap...

[@geekyphoton5584]

"YOU CAN'T ALWAYS SAVE [OR HELP] EVERYONE." The Drinker makes an excellent point about the reality of being a leader or important decision-maker (e.g., ER doctor, military officer, etc.). Too many people in "First World" countries do not recognize this "harsh reality of being a hero...that you can't always save everyone,...you're going to have to make tough decisions...people are going to die." (12:47) Another fact that some people seem to deny is that not all "people of color" are good people, and people who do bad things need to face the consequences of their actions, regardless of their color. (And, yes, I am non-white.)

[@evanthompson1517]

Reminds me of something I heard once, " want to see a hero? He's the guy drinking himself into a stupor to silence the cries of those he could not save." A true hero doesn't bask on the glow of those that were saved. They wallow in the suffering of those they could not.

[@krisfrederick5001]

Remember that the X-Men began the theatrical Marvel Universe, "all the way back" (painful to say) in 2000. My favorite as a kid. When it was based more in storytelling and not just cramming as much CGI crap as possible into it. But I'm no gatekeeper 🤷🏼‍♂

[@ez6888]

Yeah… your memory is off.

[@DanFree7]

Captain Marvel could have been HUGE in the MCU and as an action character. But Brie Larson just made NOTHING out of it and even worse, Marvel/Feige went with it!!

[@colincolin5696]

Honestly was anyone expecting anything else? 😅

[@Whitewingdevil]

My hope for the MCU is that they take recent audience reactions to heart, slow the hell down and go back to releasing at MOST 1-2 things a year, and maintain the dang timeline and interconnected stories that made them popular in the first damned place.

[@gamedude412]

I like how Capt marvel commits a genocide and no cares then her Hero "growth" moment is to do another Genocide on the planet she thinks she helping. Suddenly heating a planet is world ending event... If our sun suddenly when out then 40 years relit our planet surface would be ripped apart by uneven heating and temp differents

[@TheTaoistOnline]

Here is ChatGPT pretending to have emotions when I asked it to dislike a sandwich I made for it. "While I appreciate the effort you put into making this sandwich, it’s not quite to my taste. But remember, taste is subjective and what might not work for me could be someone else’s favorite!

[@ShareAMeal77]

Fail

[@ShareAMeal77]

It will learn by asking it such questions though.

[@TenFalconsMusic]

I'm beyond exited to not see this movie. Instead, I'm going to take the money I would've spent on it and buy a beautiful pizza.

[@Muck006]

Buy a lottery ticket or two instead ... chances are you are too fat already.

[@RadicalValkyrie]

Again I agree with Chris. I seriously don't get who Captain Marvel is and I don't care, she is pretty empty and forgettable. To me she has always just been this character who Rogue got her additional powers from. That's it. I don't care about the cats, the all female cast. And yes, I want ROMANCE.

[@nerychristian]

The low point of the film was using cats to swallow people so they can get them off a ship. That, and the singing planet. The film was also poorly edited. Especially in the first 15 mins of the film.

[@samarth900]

Thank you for mentioning miss marvels obsession. I always did wonder that where it is coming from? I get it Monika Rambo daughter being obsessed with her but why miss marvel??

[@JubeiSenpai]

Hold on the plot of spaceballs is here like huh?! 😂

[@nofutureproductions9242]

Wait. Kree? Isn't that what the Jaffa said every fourth word? "Jaffa! KREE!"

[@DisasterArtist1997]

Iman Vellani ❤ Everything else in the film was pure trash From the effects, to the acting and the writing

[@ephraimwinslow]

I wonder when guys at large are gonna figure out that directing a constant stream of affirmative flattery at the women they're attracted to is like overfeeding a goldfish. You're directly contributing to the ever-growing ego that will one day cancel out anything that you used to enjoy about having them around. (Women who are told they're amazing and perfect on a daily basis don't get more pleasant with time. Quite the opposite.)

[@natsohigh5552]

Its the CGI hair that always makes me cringe. Its really bad

[@pkendlers]

The lead actress always looks grim and never smiles. What's there to like?

[@wylde_hunter]

Sounds like the film could have been done in 15 mins. Dar-Benn finds both negabands, destroys herself and Monica Rambeau closes the hole..

[@denizen53]

Time to finish writing my script for the Captain Marvel movie we should have gotten in 2019 instead of the one with Brie. Featuring Mar-vell, Rick Jones, the Nega-bands, comic accurate depictions of the Kree, the Skrulls, set in 1973 with a period appropriate soundtrack, with references tying together all the previous MCU films from Phases 1-3. With cameos of Howard Stark, General Ross, Nick Fury, and a young Bruce Banner. And a final battle with Thanos aboard the Sanctuary II. It would even have a likeable version of Carol Danvers in it, and she gets her powers from Mar-vell as she should have in the beginning.