What Is The Virtue And Vice Of INTJs (The Ranger)? | Trust Vs. Paranoia | CS Joseph

What Is The Virtue And Vice Of INTJs (The Ranger)? CS Joseph discusses Trust Vs Paranoia.
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[@lightworkerunderconstructi6588]

Oh my gosh, I've never heard anybody talk about the trusting nature of an INTJ. As an INJT female I was so open and trusting when I was young but I learned early in my life that I needed to protect myself. It was a sad day when I realized there are people out there with the disgusting attitude that if you get taken it's your own fault. It still hurts to this day to know that someone would think that. Thank you for posting this.

[@CSJoseph]

Lightworker Under Construction you are most welcome

[@mjr7910]

@@Gtjsn Hello Sris. Some INTJs, over time, develop their Fi. That is what happened to me. As I reached my 50's I began to explore... allow my feeling to be felt. It was scary and hard to deal with. But I allowed it to happen. I am still an newbie with emotional stuff but I am allowing it to progress. Thanks for the comment :)

[@boogieap3617]

@@mjr7910 we must seek the infps and isfps out to develop the fi with trust

[@iondarks8534]

Piece of advice to other INTJ's from an INTJ. There are people out there that are very aware of your trust issues, and will slowly build up your trust just to take advantage of you later, It's happened to me several times by people i called friends one i still do. A easy thing to watch for, if you're being asked of something and you haven't seen people around said person do anything to the level of what's being asked of you, chances are you're being taken advantaged of.

[@CSJoseph]

Well said

[@cosmicmind7392]

WTF, you just made my paranoia even worse. I'll create a plan to handle this situation.

[@Kokoroko9]

1000000% yes

[@mercedbread9045]

Piece of advice to my fellow INTJs. Use the dark triad test for narcissism, Machiavellianism & psychopathy to remove these people from your life. Anyone with a score higher than 45, REMOVE THEM IMMEDIATELY. They are trouble and in the long run mean you no well. Our sensing function is weak, so use science instead. openpsychometrics.org/tests/SD3/

[@LexusFox]

Very true, some people often tell me I don’t let on a lot personal information (people with high awareness), but they don’t know that I can’t let them know my personal information, I need to filter what I let them know for my own safety. We just know that it prevents many issues from happening in the long run, even if sometimes it means losing a friendship or relationship. Those who respect our decision to filter our information output are the ones who stay our friends for a long time.

[@D3tyHuff]

That's exactly why opposites don't match. Imagine a paranoid INTJ dating a very open and lovable ESFP who goes around hugging people they've seen once in their life ... No

[@CSJoseph]

I know right... no just no.

[@c.s.charles2102]

Oh my blood would be boiling.

[@sheldonsawyer4782]

I am A dont touch me until I know you kind of Entp but that's probably the shadow.

[@cosmicmind7392]

Finally I realized why ENFPs are never my type, despite many sources say that they are supposedly the best pair for INTJs. With all of my trust issues, why would I date someone that befriends and being flirty with everyone while always going out in the world? lol I always go for INFPs, subconciousy, and it's before I even know MBTI exist.

[@bobcruz2826]

Like any relationship, you set boundaries. If an INTJ doesn't like ESFPs hugging random randy, the INTJ must tell them. Most ESFPs won't leave INTJs with higher status. Thats the kicker. INTJs won't get with a girl that has a reputation. INTJs are egotistical. Plus, ESFPs compliment INTJs very well. Not only are ESFPs ( and ESTPs) the best at networking and marketing, but they also aren't lazy like INTJs. ESFPs lack the knowledge and organization INTJs have and INTJs lack the social skills ESFPs have. Think of an ESFP/INTJ musician duo. INTJ writes/produces the music. ESFP performs. INTJs organizes marketing strategies. ESFPs interact in the real world to network and promote. INTJs know what type of content to make. ESFPs actually do the content and push it in the real world. ESFPs run out of ideas to execute. INTJs run out of patience to execute endless ideas and plans.

[@1Terese1]

I'm an INTJ woman and I've never before heard anyone describe my life issue with trust/paranoia this accurate. Actually I didn't even know it was a typical INTJ issue! When I was young I was extremly trusting and was hurt as a result of that. Early I realized it was my responsabilty to make sure I didn't get hurt, and therefore I made sure to not let anyone in. And I did that until I met my INPT-partner 2,5 years ago. When I met him I was amazed by how open, honest and non-judgemental he was, and slowly he gained my trust. I wish all INTJ women could experience this kind of honesty and loyalty!

[@yca76]

"There's nothing wrong with you for expecting trust." Thanks for saying this. I'm often frustrated and think there's something wrong with me for living with these standards that others don't seem to care about at all.

[@aishanusoul]

Couldnt have been said better!

[@Ender12713]

INTJ male, perspective. In all fairness a "surprise" even one well intentioned, is fundamentally a lie.

[@alexissofield]

Ender12713 hahah. True. 🤣🤣👌🏼👌🏼

[@vig221]

Very true.

[@jordydrop]

you INTJs need to take a deep breath and meditate for 5 mins. i don't understand why everything is so urgent and severe for y'all.

[@EspritArkitekt]

@@jordydrop coz life's too short to dick around

[@vgcc9723]

I concur :)

[@grippercrapper]

I'm a 41 year old INTJ and you are correct about the value of loyalty for me. The absolute worst thing anyone can do with me is betray me.

[@DrVein]

I'd seriously rather be punched.

[@grippercrapper]

Bee Gee - I agree with you. Do you think the reason why betrayal cuts us so deep is because we would never consider doing that to anyone else? I know that my inclination is to be very direct with other people and declare my intentions on the front end. I also have a tendency to follow through with those intentions even when it becomes difficult.

[@vig221]

​@@grippercrapper To me it seems to be a little more complex than that. It's not only because I wouldn't consider doing such a thing myself, but also because I realize I don't really know the person I though I did. They put on a mask and I believed them. It's more about the truth behind why they did it than the betrayal itself. I then realize I can't trust them anymore. And that's true of anything. Be it with coworkers, friendships, intimate relationships, family... I value loyalty more than anything.

[@NotCJ95]

@@grippercrapperit’s because we put all of our precious time into someone with our Si demon. If it’s betray and we have a bad experience, demon mode here we come 😊

[@thetwovoiceschannel]

The part about INTJs being trusting is right on! I had no idea how much I just openly trusted people until I hit about 22. I was burned several times before I realized this was a thing with me!

[@arcadianfox8127]

The magic age for INTJ

[@landon8952]

@@arcadianfox8127 how so?

[@thetwovoiceschannel]

This just might be my favorite chunk of INTJ insight ever.

[@k.strive46]

@@MarkyMark2177 lmfao what the fuck

[@LindyDesignLab]

Appreciate that you try to criticize and compliment all types equally. It seems harsh out of context but as a body of work makes sense. Years back, after an embarrassing situation of jumping to the wrong conclusion thinking someone was playing a joke on me, I made the decision to risk looking gullible vs being suspicious in new situations. Innocent until proven untrustworthy. No regrets on that policy choice.

[@CSJoseph]

Wow, thats actually pretty brilliant. I will need to reflect on that further.

[@sthoughtsarchive2791]

That's true

[@AsaiahBenjamin]

God I wish more INTJs could reach this conclusion.

[@KayoY]

Here is an idea my therapist told me which helped me overcome my trust issues (to some extent): Yes, I was deeply hurt as a child after I trusted the wrong people. Yes, it's understandable that these experiences lead me to become extremely protective and careful about where I place my trust. However, I'm an adult now - I have learned many more skills, gained many more support systems since my childhood. So if someone betrays my trust today, it won't hurt as much as it did when I was a child. I'll be okay. So instead of self-sabotaging by being overly paranoid, I'll gain more from being more readily trusting. Worst case, I'll get hurt and I'll get over it. But without trust, I'll have no chance of creating the meaningful relationships I actually crave.

[@joelfossouotagne4906]

As an 30 year old INTJ - your 100% correct, over the past 4 years I went through a clear out of all the folks i thought were friends to me, now anyone I meet defaults to guilty until proven innocent.

[@amber7825]

😂😂😂

[@Jess-yv7zc]

I'm an INTP and I dearly love the INTJs as well. So composed, so intelligent, so cute when they're thinking and when they're listening lol. I've read that INTJs and INTPs tend to gravitate to one another and I find this to be true in my personal life (they're my favorite) and after watching this excellent video I wonder if one reason for that is bc INTPs tend to be radically honest. My motives, agendas, thoughts, opinions and feeling (my default setting is annoyance, everything from rage to contentment expresses as irritation, that's why feeling is not plural ha) are front and center, always. Most people are constantly searching me for alterior motives/disingenuity (is that a word?) so I wonder if: a. INTPs are drawn to INTJs bc INTJs accept more readily at face value that someone is being truthful (yeah i've noticed this too) b. INTJs are drawn to INTPs bc INTPs are blunt and transparent with their plans/thoughts/intentions etc. I really appreciate these videos; very insightful and really just fascinating the way you make an already fantastic subject that much more interesting with your observations. Yeah, the first time i took MBTI before i knew anything about cog functions i tested as an INTJ haha. Which is also interesting bc for me they are the easiest to type, maybe bc I like and respect them so much.

[@thomasm5754]

I used to think only INTPs would work for me. Being that this NT “intelligent bluntness” makes it so much easier to compensate for my poor empathy. Then I learned how boring it gets in the long run. Romantically I need the enigma of some sorts. Been married to an INFP for 12 years and counting now and have not figured her out yet. Luckily she likes adventuring in my mind, and I think she is being hard to read on purpose. I love INTPs as friends though and enjoy spending time with them.

[@DrVein]

@Wayne H I think we take a loooooong time to mature. I've noticed that certain types tend to mature closer to 30 and others mature around 20. I'm 25, INTJ, and still trying to work out a lot of what he talks about here.

[@dacksonflux]

I make sure to tell every friend I ever make, "I don't like surprises." This is to ensure that there are SPECIFICALLY no birthday surprises! Then there's this guy...

[@sylviaowega3839]

Agreed that loyal means a lot to them. In fact I have even noticed the pattern that INTJ’s are even far more loyal than the rules/authority loving ISTJ’s and ESTJ’s.

[@qasimimtiaz9668]

Istjs are hardest to trust in my opinion.

[@somyatiwari8071]

why do you think so, especially when loyalty is supposed to be an Si trait?

[@somyatiwari8071]

why do you think so?

[@LaMach420]

Can attest to this I am absolutely a ride or die type of guy until my trust is broken.

[@inessalazar945]

What a love letter to the intj. Everyone hates and he just understands so well, he knows our struggles and pains.

[@Greg-lw4zb]

Easily the best INTJ content available. And the best for MBTI, in general. Thanks so much, man!

[@christinelazona3529]

"I'll trust you until you screw me." I know I am pathetic like this.. the truth hurts.

[@mattgunia942]

"Yeah, I'll trust you...until you screw me. Then you'll never get that trust back again." Yes, I tend to think well of and trust everyone...sometimes too much for my own good. I still get comments that surprise me like, "wow, thank you for your honesty. That's really rare." It's then I realize that I'm actually the abnormal one for not "putting on a face" or fronting. I don't have an issue with paranoia (I assume the worst about you until you prove me wrong), but I know that I'm gullible and so I approach new people and new situations cautiously until I get a feel for things. And if someone does prove themselves aggressive or dishonest, I freeze them out and they'll likely never be able to win my trust back. It's happened, but it's very rare.

[@ArneDunckers]

Now, in my 30s, I understand building and earning trust better. I was the lamb at the slaughterhouse in my 20s... it was utterly disappointing... I thought people had the same moral compass as I had. Apparently not.

[@artisanrox]

INTJ female , I've actually had the privacy conversation over web search engines. "I use such-and-such search engine because it doesn't track you. I don't care if I have nothing to hide, I just don't want it tracking me!" lol

[@jejrstans]

What search engine doesn't track? thanks

[@wakwak7511]

jejrstans they all do

[@MoPoppins]

jejrstans - Duck Duck Go, I think?

[@MoPoppins]

I actually don’t care, or at least I haven’t had any reason to be concerned, since the data is meant to serve their marketing needs, primarily. I love that Amazon knows what I like, suggesting things I would never have known to search for! KZbin also suggests videos that I never would’ve found on my own, and my life is MUCH richer for it. I like being understood, for once. It’s only been advantageous, so far. If I have murder fantasies and am plotting my strategies, I’ll keep them to myself...lol. The government seems to be concerned about individuals or groups plotting attacks on the institutions, but never for the individuals who inhabit a nation. I can’t imagine ever being a person of interest, particularly because even people who know me personally aren’t interested in understanding me on that level, so why would a random stranger be curious about a non-celebrity?

[@LandofOzOfficial]

Same

[@observer.b_e_l_l_i_s]

An ENTP or INTJs worst nightmare, oh the truth. Was once in a relationship where phone probing took place, after having enough I began intentionally leaving questionable material scattered about. Trust issues? No problems ill provide something to really catch the eye.

[@CSJoseph]

Thee Parris Hill yeah tell me about it

[@conor_tobin]

As an INTJ teen I had a really rough experience with some “friends”. I was pals with them for about 5 years then at the start of high school they decided to ditch me. Idk why. I wasn’t the only one they did this to. One guy was ISFP and I hate his guts to this day (Si demon), and the other two I think were ESFP and ESTJ. This has definitely made me less trusting in relationships. This video was very insightful 👍🏻

[@lauraskyum-jensen3354]

Im finally coming to an understanding. I am 24 years old and I have suffered from depression and anxiety approximately the last 6 years. I noticed when I was very young, a kid, that when somebody said something funny, it pleased other people. It caught my attention and I really thought alot about that. I also noticed that some people were able to say things in a funny manner, as though, if another person were to say the exact same thing, it just wouldn't be as funny in comparison - I thought alot more about those structural elements than the previous. So, as a grew up, I created systems for being funny and how to say things in a funny manner, and I kept count on how many times I could make my schoolmates and even teachers burst out in laughter in a week. And OH MY GOD did it feel good when people laughed at my jokes and laughed with me. At my best I could make the whole class laugh once every day! All was good for a while. What I came to discover was, that it was a extremely exhausting thing for me to keep up, and what I didn't know at the time, was that it was a very superficial acknowlegdement, and my comic sense therefore diminished. Eventually, people wouldn't laugh anymore, and it would make me feel so stupid, like you cannot imagine. Why wouldn't they laugh anymore? Don't they like me anymore? What's going on here? I didnt understand why, so I came to blame them, and the school became a very unpleasent place for me to be at. I got an ultimatum, either to get expelled and start all over, or to go to an exam in every subject i was teached under, full curriculum, all because of my 40% abscence in classes the last year of graduation. I passed every subject, barely, even though my preparation was minimal, justified by my mental instability and partly because of my rebelliousness against the school system. Anyway. Im finally coming to an understanding. Thank you very much C. S. Joseph. What you are doing and spending some of your time is of immense value

[@CSJoseph]

Laura Skyum-Jensen I got your back. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

[@lauraskyum-jensen3354]

Thank you.

[@courtneyzorio9507]

INTJ here (I think). In my relationships I've always had this thing where "I just choose whether or not you have my trust". You don't get 90% of it, or 70% of it. It doesn't grow or fade. It just is or isn't. I choose whether you get it, and god help you if you get it and burn it. There is only once chance to drop the ball. I think I do this because I can't handle the mental energy of gauging how much trust is earned or something, I prefer to assume (gullible I guess). I've never had trust issues in my relationships (I think because I have verbalized this frame of mind early to all my partners), but I've definitely spent all my 20s being gullible and manipulated in business by people stringing me along and now I'm 30 and finally realizing how stupid I've been. Feeling very salty about it :p

[@vgcc9723]

Betrayal is very painful, but only if it comes from someone you trust to never betray you.

[@daniellegenest6277]

Pretty spot on. 37 and INTJ. I feel pretty in touch with who I am. I even tell people the things you recommended. They don’t do it. lol. I love this. Made me smile because “get out of my head!”

[@moistbuthole9752]

4:41 hit me really hard. This is exactly how I've been feeling (I'm INTJ). Everyone these days seems to focus on the emotional aspect of world problems (like handling the process of immigration) instead of the logical side, which baffles me to the point of exhaustion.

[@spirittheory4756]

Thank you for existing. This has opened up some old wounds, but I feel like I can let them finally heal properly. I'm an INTJ girl, my 25th birthday is a month away and your videos are what I needed to hear stepping into full adulthood. Although so many layers of myself being spoken to has left me feeling vulnerable and like I'm suffocating at points, it feels like I'll be able to breathe a little easier once I've had time to come to terms with myself.

[@CSJoseph]

ty for your comment

[@scouttrooperhh-1487]

Youve been an adult for 6 years

[@chitah028]

You are hilarious, I hate you lol....in a good way, for knowing me so well I am an intj female 👌

[@CSJoseph]

chitah028 glad to hear it. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you

[@FKASAINT006]

this is very spot on...i used to be very trustworthing x and it cost me more than what i was willing to give (being loyal to wrong ppl) so i started to emotionally withdraw myself from things and approach everything from a business/proposal standpoint..even relationships..i need a understanding of the intentions before i indulge anytime or anything..AND even throughout the process IF shit should hit the fan i make sure i come out untouched/not harmed

[@gordthor5351]

You were spot on until you let your emotions (26 minutes in) of a personal relationship cloud the big picture. Granted, INTJs are very sensitive, but you said you did nothing, when what you meant to say was that you told a few lies (INTJs can see those lies, maybe not at the moment, but Ni will set off bells and whistles when anything contrary to what you said occurs. You have to be dead honest with INTJs in an intimate relation, as do INTJs with types like ENFPs who know damn well when you are lying. I'm sure your white lies where only meant to avoid opening up a can of worms (as I have done with an ENFP) and weren't meant to be malicious, but lies degrade trust and you are spot on about INTJs needing to be able to trust you (most people play the social game of telling people what they want to hear, but INTJs want to hear the truth, especially from their significant partner). I would like to add as to why INTJs say this: "it is not that I have something to hide, it is that I have nothing that I want you to see". A little knowledge can be dangerous, because people in general will jump to conclusions. Either people are close enough to "really know me", or they don't need to know shit about my personal life, because most people will take a "little" and blow it out of proportion. It is not really "paranoia", but rather just knowing what will happen with "some" information. It is impossible for me to tell everyone my life story, so the only safe bet is to give them nothing to fuck up. This comes from early experiences. I was gullible as hell as a child and also shared everything. As a consequence I over compensated because people tend to jump to conclusions (everyone has Ni and weak Ni is dangerous and WILL see false patterns that don't exist in reality). It is so true that INTJs expect that trust is earned and that is precisely why you can't expect to lie to them in a relationship. I have called out lovers in their lies more than a year later, because there is no time line for Ni. The bells and whistles just go off when everything does not compute. It pisses off people when you can call out their lies a year later (they feel intruded upon). Simple solution, don't lie to INTJs and if you can read the slightest nuance like ENFPs, make sure you let it be known to your young (immature) INTJ partner to not bother with the white lies as well. Young INTJs are kinda dumb and think they are the only ones who can see these tiny nuances and have a built in lie detector. I have learned that honesty is the only way in an intimate relationship. I will still tell white lies with others, if I think it will avoid opening up a can of worms that I don't want to deal with. There is too much "trust" at stake to lie to an intimate partner. When INTJs let themselves fall in love, they fall DEEP and that means they are super vulnerable. It is actually refreshing to be free and vulnerable for an INTJ (that is their natural childish state), but every lie will start to build up the wall again (even stronger, because they have something (someone dear to them) to lose. I am not "paranoid", but I am very vigilant for sure. The guard drops proportionally to genuineness and grows accordingly to deception.

[@CSJoseph]

Gord Thor even you are not immune to jumping to conclusions. And even if you do, you may dismiss it with a “meh.”

[@CSJoseph]

Also, do Not presume to know anything about me, the examples offered in this video were not specifically from my life experience. And yet, you assumed as such. I would appreciate it if you would stop putting words in my mouth for the sake of your comments. I never lied to an INTJ with whom I have been intimate with. This includes white lies.

[@neilmoffett9635]

Grow up already.

[@orianna9200]

Most people will screw you over anyway if you let them. Definitely INTJ nightmare society!! I applaud your journey to educate people on types, which helps, but there is not much respect to others in this world. Oh yes there Is a surface attempt of civility, but they can't fool an INTJ in the long run. Lambs to the slaughter when not developed. . So true! Not a pleasant experience at all! You are right, INTJ loyalty is everything! Just tell me dont lie to me. So true about taking a bullet for and INTJ woman. So true about the birthday present example. amazing. Thank you.

[@gordthor5351]

C.S Joseph I am very aware of that and I even mentioned that I (INTJs) wasn't immune in another response to you.

[@mojyoqueen350]

As INTJ, listenig to you was painful, yet helpfull. I sometimes think i've done every single thing you said. Trusting, paranoia, learning from my mistakes [or sometimes not]... I feel ashamed of myself because i did so many stupid things and i have no solution for some of them. This is where your video gets helpfull - you have different point of view, you can see what I do wrong more than me and I can get a lot of advices from your videos. Fortunately my current partner know how I behave and he would [as you said] die for me and he prove it a few times. He gain my trust in a lot of hard ways and altough i get paranoid sometimes, but he understands what is happening and he would always comfort me [No, not by showing his phone] by grounding me back to the reality. I send this video to him, maybe he find it as helpfull as it is for me, because I know it is hard being in a relationship with INTJ woman like me.

[@alejandrapineda3300]

I am really happy the way you approached the topic. Best video I have seen yet. Very straightforward, just what I love. Thank you! It made me realized of many many things in my life.

[@CSJoseph]

You are most welcome

[@WhiteSakura59]

This video made me cry because it triggered me to when I was bullied through elementary, junior high, and high school. Everything you said is true at least as it applies to me. I used to be very trusting, extremely so, but the bullying caused me shut myself in and appear "cold" to others. I started to shut everyone out, even family members who hadn't betrayed my trust were kept at arms length in certain situations. I then started to believe everyone was eventually bound to betray and/or abandon me even before I'd met the person. To everyone I meet, I think to myself, they are eventually going to leave me. I've tried to make friends, but it's very difficult to make lasting relationships; maybe they can sense what I just mentioned, I don't know. I've almost resigned myself to this, but it feels really lonely. I like to be alone but not lonely. I fear I'm shutting the wrong people out, but I don't know how to distinguish between who I can and can't trust. You gave advice, and I'm grateful, but I don't know how to implement it. Thank you for a wonderful video, great job. I appreciate your hard work. (Female INTJ.) Update: I watched a video by LiJo and she helped me remember something I had already figured out a while ago but had forgotten. It helped me realize things I already knew and somethings I didn't. I just wanted to let you know and thank you, again.

[@DrVein]

I actually had a "friend" complain that I trusted her too much. I didn't realize the snake was shaking its rattle until she stole some of my money and a gift from my Mother.

[@dumpdrumpf]

lmao my INTJ fellows be getting onto tor and hating zuckerberg, cutting him off, deleting the facebooks.

[@paint.it.6lack]

INTJ (Asperger's/Schizotypal Personality), and I am the opposite of gullible. I have always questioned everything. I am the most annoying person to have a conversation with. I will stop and ask a bunch of questions while you tell a story (if you aren't supplying me with enough details to paint a full mental movie for me). If we are talking and you tell me something that is not an opinion or subjective and is something factual (that I don't already know), I will stop the conversation to Google it and make sure that you are supplying me with correct information. I do this because I have an exceptional memory and I don't want to store incorrect information in my brain. On another note, yes- trust has to be earned. 👌

[@vgcc9723]

Ha, ha, ha. I do that too. I kindly interrupt people's stories to ask for details, so there are no inconsistencies in the mental movie that I'm creating with their story. I do this to make sure I get their story right. I care enough to not pretend that I'm listening and understanding like other people do. They are thinking about something else while they pretend to listen.

[@dominiscus]

We live in a society

[@scouttrooperhh-1487]

Gamers Rise Up

[@sthoughtsarchive2791]

Lmao I just read this as he said it

[@nistryl]

I basiclly love you, with this video i understand finally why i have such problems with paranoia and i know my love is right for me. You helpd me a lot, thank you for all your work!

[@GGboy1987]

As a newly discovered INTJ this video deeply resonated with me. I never got the whole appeal of social media, where everyone is blurting their lives to the public. Its not that im hiding anything either its just none of anyones business.

[@myriamyousfi2209]

Great analysis, "default mode set on distrust" until some level of trust would eventually get earned, trust in a particular area I would add (not in all areas, extremely rare to trust globally someone, even someone we esteem or enjoy being around from time to time, or even a relative)

[@vimimaliakel3112]

Yessssss absolutely 100%...I am an INTJ in this sense!! You have understood me like no one else has ever!! I have yet to take the test!! As I was confused earlier on between an INFJ. And an INTJ

[@dr.strangelove9815]

Very well said! I'm an INTJ-A and I think you really arrived at character flaw I've noticed about myself as well, I can be too trusting in some circumstances. Betrayals do result in paranoia for sure, life events have show that to be true. Great analysis by the way.

[@vgcc9723]

"There's nothing wrong with you." That sounds amazing!

[@acissej_01]

so damn true. Back then as a little girl I learned there is nobody to trust except myself. Today I'm able to assume that people have good intentions, still I'm picky with whom I want to have in my inner circle. Radical honesty and asking instead of making conclusions helped me a lot to improve my relationships and grow.

[@browneyez.]

As an INTJ I can confirm that loyalty means everything to me.

[@CrownedChristianResurrection]

INTJ When I was working for other people/companies, I would say different things to coworkers and would wait to see which stories came back to me, and which ones didn’t. The people that didn’t retell a story I told them, I would give them new information about myself, and would wait to see if that would come back to me (from other people). That is how I would see if I would be able to trust any coworkers. Very few passed. The ones that did though, they are still in my life. When in relationships, I would start to have inclinations about the man at the time, and sure enough, he was exposed. Except, I would never accuse right away. I would pray about it, and pray for God to reveal to me the truth. And He always comes through.

[@johnwebster7984]

I do this too

[@williambrady9578]

I was thinking pretentiousness vs modesty. Most INTJs I've met have been either super elitist with an ivory tower mentality, or super humble with an everyman additude.

[@CSJoseph]

That's more heart temple Deadly sin and not INTJ specific.

[@morbidgirl6808]

After watching INxJ and SFP videos for 14 hours and confirming my answers on your personality test 7 times with my mom, I'm most likely to be an INTJ rather than INFJ. I watched this video to confirm it again 😅 Definitely, I tend to trust people too easily but at least, I'll find out who is loyal or not.

[@avancalledrupert5130]

I've Allways known how much I value loyalty long before Ide even heard of jung. If you won't help me move a body I don't want you to help me move a couch either.

[@LandofOzOfficial]

Oh this is good! Facts

[@daizzdy]

I'm not an expert with any of the types but have been watching/reading a lot about INTJs as I am one. I think you have come closest to what INTJs are REALLY like. I especially appreciated your comment about academic versus temperament intellectualism. While the majority of what I've watched/read has claimed that we're "masterminds" or "geniuses", I believe that idea might be a little inflated. Perhaps few are but I tend to think most lean in the direction of temperament intellectuals. I would love it if you would elaborate on that subject. Loved your honesty and directness!

[@mcfreezyyaboi8389]

I completely agree with you. Intj doesn't equal genius lol. What's worse is all the "intjs" that self masturbate over being one. Its gross. Get over yourself lol you aren't special. I'm saying this as an intj.

[@vgcc9723]

I agree.

[@JM-cp6ei]

Best INTJ video I have ever seen. So spot on.

[@jrluh]

I was feeling cornered, like the only way out of feeling disappointed all the time was becoming a cynical and stop caring about everything and everybody and just sit on the sideway and watch how other people ruin everything at every level. But of course that's a major conflict, it feels dehumanizing and I tried to not fall into that even if I always ended up losing until I was convinced it isn't worth it. It's a really difficult balance to achieve, it's consuming just to maintain it. I wasn't even aware that we (INTJs) value loyalty so much compared to other people and always took it personally. Knowing this I'm trying to be more forgiving (less paranoid) with the people I really care. Thank you so much just to point out the cause, and also giving such an elegant and "moral" way out of it. It's genius.

[@jamessteele7102]

Excellent advice toward the end of the video. I learned something today. Thank you.

[@FrenchCelt]

Great video. INTJs are quick to judgment because our intuition outpaces our ability to think it through, and is the result of an Ni-Fi loop...Ni says something is wrong and Fi says it's because this person is being shady and has to face swift justice, but we don't stop to let Te verify using Se data before making our pronouncement of guilt and doling out the punishment. I agree that we should avoid that rush to judgment...don't jump to conclusions. I also agree that it's a good idea to reassure the INTJ concerning our fear of betrayal. Words matter, but an INTJ values deeds above all, so show us you mean us well by being consistent, reliable, there when we expect you, and you will gain our trust and lasting loyalty. Start backsliding on that consistency, reliability, and being there, and the paranoia will kick in. After all, there must be a reason for this, and it must be because you've changed your mind about us and don't like us anymore, and since that's the case, we will intervene and hurt you before you can hurt us, and you weren't going to hurt us? D'oh! So yeah, you're right that constant communication is key to prevent that scenario.

[@mattgunia942]

Good insight. We sometimes take information in and put it into a schema with internal consistency too quickly for our own good. We do well to build an internal discipline to test the theory ("He's up to no good.") out a few times and gather more data before beginning to act in ways difficult to undo. You are also correct in your observation that actions speak louder than words. Still, rather than "hurt you before you can hurt us," I tend to freeze people out. I don't consult them, I keep them in the dark, I avoid them as thoroughly as I can. I've never had much trouble working around someone and still advance my personal goals.

[@FrenchCelt]

I consider freezing people out a form of hurting them. It’s a preemptive move performed unilaterally in order to maintain hand, to use an old Seinfeld reference. It’s also identical to the INFJ door slam, although the INTJ tends to be more rational about it (regardless of actual rationale).

[@blackkitty9098]

Yep. My mom always talk about this. Her trust paranoia is ⬆️.(Same goes to me, lol) I asked her ,"hey mom, why dont you invite your friends over to our party mom? Since you're the one that host this party?" She answered that she doesnt trust her colleagues and friends . She did has a group from her old school but never invite them any of her parties. Her paranoia did turn her to self-fulfilling propehecy. Back when my sister (entp)and brother(enfj) were kids, everytime they were having a sleep -over at our cousin's house, she was literally glaring at them. For her, it meant that they are going to leave her. Wherease for my sibs, they couldn't handle being alone.

[@christopherjones4910]

All true. Forever paranoid. Forever trusting. Even agree with the jealousy.

[@Thespiritualphilosophy]

When I was a small kid I was extremely quiet and shy then in highschool I spent years thinking I was ENTP. I lost myself, wasted 2 extra years after HS, doing nothing, had to withdraw from 2 classes in my first semester of university, got diagnosed with ADHD, I feel able to finally do what I set my mind to at will and no longer having to rely on spontaneous burst of energy to do what I want. I felt a change in myself and my lifestyle a year ago was completely different. I took the test again and got INTJ, and I relate to this so much. I used to think the IJs were too closed minded for me to be one, I thought ENTP was the most open minded. Turns out ENTPs have the same functions as INTJs but extroversion and introversion are flipped. My T/F and J/P were balanced and my enneagram is type 8-7 equal and 5 slightly less. Not sure what the F is going on.

[@t.anderson6069]

Thank you for the insightful video. I've never met a young INTJ, but academia is full of INTJ's so I've met a fair number of adult ones. In my experience, they are super smart, extremely articulate, and highly competent, but in my opinion, they seem to be self-absorbed, lack empathy, and judge people too quickly (based on limited criteria). Also, their paranoia can lead them to think you are like them: just out for yourself.

[@CSJoseph]

T. Anderson well, they are supposed to lack empathy, but they have sympathy in spades.

[@t.anderson6069]

Interesting. Would you be able to explain how they convey sympathy? Perhaps it is in subtle ways that are not readily apparent to "feelers."

[@CSJoseph]

T. Anderson stay away from labels like feelers or thinkers. T and F are mere illusions. An INFJ is actually a thinker and an INTJ is actually a feeler. Why? INFJ has Ti child and INTJ has Fi child. INTJs convey sympathy provided they actually feel bad about themselves in the given social situation whereas the INFJ will attempt to solve the problem by engaging empathy. It’s too different approaches. The world is not flat.

[@t.anderson6069]

Thank you very much for the clarification. I appreciate it. In the future, if you have time, would you consider comparing the INTJ and INFJ. I think that comparison would be really interesting.

[@CSJoseph]

T. Anderson I’ll see it done

[@cheshtachoudhury8735]

This was all so true! I never even thought someone can understand me this well! Yes I was a very trusting person, to the point that I became gullible. I have been betrayed/cheated thrice in past and as a result I've grown quite paranoid. Every word you said about INTJs jumping to conclusions is true for me at this point. I don't make new friends, I push away old ones if they try to come too close. As much as I want to be trusting again, my mind just wouldn't stop warning me with the flashbacks of what had happened. As You said, honesty and loyalty are the basis of any and every relationship for me and when someone whom I trust goes on to betray me I can't help but get shattered. People think I take the loyalty thing too seriously but I fail to explain to them that it's because I am serious about it!! But I guess I will have to move on and be easy on myself and others. So be it. Thank you for your time spent in research, I appreciate your insightful thoughts about us. 😇

[@CSJoseph]

you are most welcome

[@Anjel721]

It driving me nuts how right you are.

[@bridgete9881]

Intj here. I liked this video. It was pretty dead on...except for the fact about me being wrong 7 times outta 10 😉

[@dacksonflux]

We're never wrong. XP

[@drekfletch]

@@arturkvieira we know. It's called sarcasm.

[@loreen1340]

I've always opened my relationships saying that honesty is the most important thing for me and was 9 times out of 10 correct when they weren't. Still single and divorced because I have held my "bullet" standard. Thank goodness solitary feels fine 😏

[@MrUrielGuzman]

I'm an InTJ and this resonated so much 😬

[@tefiporacchia5982]

The trusting part is spot on! I’m really trusting! But I’m not sure why, I feel like I’m not paranoid

[@heresjonni8968]

I thought I was an ISTP for 10 or more years until today when I watched all your videos on INTJ. I just decided to watch them on a whim. Then I went back and honestly took the cognitive functions test and was totally honest. I came out INTJ and millions of light bulbs went off in my head. All the relationships I've had, everything just finally made sense. It's so bizarre and surreal. But I've thought of myself as a failure for so long. This is crazy though, I honestly feel like my world has shifted and I will be able to move forward.

[@maddiesiegmund5623]

Hmmmm...As an INTJ, I'm trusting in the sense that I take things at face value, not being very adept at reading people's motives (body language, social intelligence). I can't fake liking/loving someone, so I it's hard for me to imagine that anyone can/does. What really throws ME is someone accusing me of being disingenuous... I take it as an offensive mischaracterization. The paranoia thing is true, but immediately assuming someone is being disloyal and having this emotional rage reaction you're describing is a major logical failing. Personally I don't relate. What happens to me is I'll notice a behavior from someone, and then strategize the trajectory of how that behavior could manifest in the future and how it will affect our relationship. I'll try to mitigate that for the entire time I know the person. The problem is this leads to me maintaining distance with them and so the loneliness continues... :-/

[@CSJoseph]

well said

[@vgcc9723]

You just described me.

[@megnemo6403]

This was very helpful. I will now talk to my neighbors about trust and that it would be nice if we could trust each other. I will ask what they need from me for them to trust me. And I will ask them if they would like for me to be able to trust them and what that would entail.

[@aaronalvarez9954]

I’m a mature ENFP with a relatively (for an ENFP) developed Si function. I have a few INTJ friends and we are all great together. Because I really do just lay out all my cards on the table and make sure that they know what intentions are. the self fulfilling prophecy really does ruin INTJ’s I hope you guys will take Chases advice and verify before jumping to conclusions. As a triple movement cognitive stack as well I don’t do this for paranio instead it’s for anger. When I feel something is off I will seek comfort. So I know how hard it is. All the best guys.

[@mcooks5755]

Im ISTP and my husband's INTJ. Watching your videos have made me get to know us better. Because tbh we do lack in the communication dept. Haha but now that I have this information. We can slowly work on that. So thank you!

[@Hari-kx2er]

Iam an INTJ and you are right to an extent. Let me clarify. If I have known someone for long and they have earned my trust over multiple occasions, then I will easily forgive their small failings and even breaking of promises. No one is perfect. However if Iam only starting to trust someone and they betrayed my trust very early itself, then it is a no go. I state my reasons clearly and without drama to the other person and then end the relationship. However, usually I tread cautiously when dealing with strangers. Neither trusting totally nor distrusting totally. Iam a 25 year old INTJ male.

[@CrimsonHazmat]

21:31. That's a really good example. I've definitely jumped to that conclusion and been pretty ashamed. I'm not sure if I'm an INTJ but I've always thought I was

[@latindancevideosgr4442]

My favorite video so far.

[@meechipeachi]

Heard. Good food for thought. And yes, I will change an action or a belief to avoid hypocrisy. Of course, I'm human, so sometimes it takes a bit to catch myself! ~riding the line between INTJ/INFJ~

[@JesusCalvilloTinoco]

I really like your videos, they are so insightful. I agree with the paranoia thingy... it can get you in trouble. I think at some point you learn as INTJ to recognise when you are in that state of mind, and convince yourself out of it, it's about understanding that not everything revolves around you and that people have the right of privacy.

[@CSJoseph]

Thanks for the support, much appreciated.

[@terminalglimmer]

Thanks for all these videos. I'm loving the content.

[@CSJoseph]

Francis Maria Regalado thank you for the support!

[@melaakkim2493]

Wow, this was an amazing conversation.

[@JannaMainOTP]

amazing, thank you, this explains a lot about me, now that i found the problem with your help, i will fix it

[@DavidRemington]

Intro: "It's important to be real with everyone... I'm not putting on a show... I care about facts (Te)." Is it a sign of paranoia to take note of the possible attempt at social engineering right out the gate?

[@sylviaowega3839]

That is absolutely true about INTJ’s being super fast. I know that my several people, including his boss, having complained about my INTJ hubby moving to fast and impatient. He also often complain about me over explaining everything, but unfortunately that tends to be typical of us INTP’s

[@godelcomplete4428]

Thank you, this helped so much. I do agree "expecting trust" is valid. It sucks when things are left to interpretation cause our brains go crazy generating scenarios.

[@alexelsie5605]

I remember having a conversation with my (current) close friend and she’s an ENTP, we were having a discussion about something (a while back) which devolved into something else (it always does) then she stated something to the effect of “I know I haven’t done anything to betray your trust but you still don’t trust me.” I simply responded with “Yet. You haven’t done anything yet.” She got real quiet for a minute and I felt really bad about it because I was just being honest and I knew she was right, she hadn’t done anything wrong or anything to warrant my extreme suspicion of her but I have this crippling paranoia when it comes to people who genuinely want to get to know me as a person, to try to “figure me out”.

[@AshesSanders]

I am not one to typically leave comments but I wanted to reach out and share something after reading your comment. "Figure me out" This stuck a cord. I have sabotaged so many potentially healthy relationships due to this uncomfortably. When others give me the suspicion there is something wrong with me, my behavior is problematic or my thinking is flawed...that I am but a broken machine in need of repair to return to normalcy. I am constantly trying to figure other people out, to understand their thinking so that I can try to imagine what they are experiencing... I do this because on some level I care. I care about others enough to want to help them with their experiances(life problem, internal emotions social issues ect.) in some form or another but I am unable to do that from a authenticit empathic "I feel what you feel" sort of way. So I intern begin to systematically "figure them out". Not because they are broken but because our processes and internal experiences differ. I need to cognitively construct thier circumstances and thinking in my mind to relate or stand in their shoes, so to speak. Evaluate who is studying you or giving you thought and otherwise prying on you. Chances are it is not of malicious intent but rather because they are simply attempting to understand you... the real you. It's ok if it is not organic and a little work and thought needs to be applied for that understanding to be fostered. Imagine what might become of humanity if we held that space for one another. Not to project but this was a very hard lesson for me (insert traumatic life) but as you progress through your own life keep a thought in your back pocket: Not everyone is trying to Hack you and if they are, hack em back. Help them develop and then loost them onto the world for the better so that they might do the same. I hope this finds it's way to you and is helpful in some small way.

[@rivkaruthgolan]

Oh, this makes me very sad because it causes me to understand something that caused my brother tremendous suffering.

[@PG-ny4en]

Who would have thought an MBTI video would make me cry! - Intj

[@user-mx4rh3mr1n]

Same

[@abhishekmangaraj]

Agree...Loyalty is EVERYTHING!!!

[@tinyyellowtree4076]

Love me some INTJ's, truly, from my depths. Would love more, I'm sure, if I had the pleasure.

[@DanLagos28]

thank you very much, this has helped me a lot, you´re awesome!

[@c.s.charles2102]

You're right. I value loyalty above all else and I look for consistency. If someone's behavior changes, then I get suspicious. Thats how I caught my ex girlfriend when she lied to me and finally cheated on me. The thing is, I told her everything that I was looking for and expected up front, so I didn't set myself up. She was just stupid and didn't think anything through. I learned a valuable lesson about optimism and giving people the benefit of a doubt from that ordeal.

[@CSJoseph]

well done sir. Sadly ENTPs will get upset if they aren't given the benefit of the doubt, an interesting paradox.

[@c.s.charles2102]

I think she was an ENFP. She certainly prized feelings over facts, especially when it came to politics.

[@outrageousmermaid9073]

Another awesome video thanks so much!

[@jenferrero6325]

the loyalty part was very on point.

[@melissaproulx6955]

I find that I tend to have very difficult relationships with INTJ males (not romantic relationships, just family and friend relationships - I haven't had any serious romantic relationships yet). I deeply respect their appreciation for logic, their ability to form connections (similar to mine as an INFP I think) to form connections, and their willingness to voice what they feel the truth to be even when it may make others uncomfortable. However, I definitely feel like it's common for them to voice possibilities as if they are certainties (it's really cool that they're willing to voice the possibilities that others may be afraid to, of ways that established institutions may not be trustworthy, but not so great when they confuse the possibility that someone, or an institution, may be lying with certainty that the person or institution in question is a liar and that anyone who doesn't agree or maybe even doesn't disagree but feels they've chosen the lesser evil is "taking the blue pill" and "a sheeple") and to be super singular in how they champion their values - For example, my dad, who I love very much, is absolutely an INTJ, and I feel like his support of libertarianism/anarchism, particularly when it comes to taxation, has a lot of merit when it comes to distrusting the government, but he totally misses the forest for the trees when he compares taxation, and letting the majority or government or anyone besides the individual property owner decide how their property should be distributed, to slavery. Even if he's right (I don't think he is but that's not really my point here), he doesn't seem to pay nearly as much attention to, or frankly care as much about, other forms of modern day slavery, like penal labor, obstacles in the path of those born into poverty preventing them from getting out of it, low wage or no wage "employment" of people in sweatshops and other dangerous (and sometimes lethal) conditions, etc, and he doesn't really seem to have a plan for an alternative. I also frequently see this type playing devils advocate in situations where they're arguing with someone deeply emotionally connected to an issue, often a minority, and refuse to see or just don't see how they may have out-data'd the other person, but it doesn't mean they are right. They don't always acknowledge how the very institutions they seem to generally distrust may also be limiting the data that exists, especially when it comes to data that would highlight the way those institutions have relied on the oppression of minorities or how the ways minorities have been oppressed in the past absolutely plays a role in their present struggles. If they're not considering the ways the data may be flawed, and as a result don't take that data with a grain of salt and don't see how the personal experience of the person they're arguing with may actually be closer to the truth than their data - because data, while arguably objective, is always limited to what people have decided is worth studying and limited to their study methods - then they can end up bulldozing the people most harmed by the evils they claim to fight. As far as INTJ males vs females, I just either don't know any INTJ females very well or don't know that they're INTJs, but I have a coworker I'm starting to slowly get to know who is an INTJ according to the test, which admittedly is not reliable but she seems very intelligent and self reflective and identifies with her results, and she seems really great. I feel like she has the admirable skepticism of the type without the arrogance that can sometimes limit them. And there are probably lots of INTJ males out there who also embody more of the strengths and less of the weaknesses than the INTJ's I have come to know well, but maybe I just don't recognize when I meet them. I think any INTJ who can recognize that it's equally valuable to aim their skepticism inward, towards their own ideas and conclusions, as it is to be skeptical of groupthink and establishments, and that the ability to do so is a strength, even if it means having less conclusions they can put forward and intensely argue on behalf of, has the capability to be a really powerful force for good.

[@melissaproulx6955]

I love your channel btw! I feel like your content is really getting me to be more of an intellectual again. I feel like I've grown over the past few years as a person since graduating college, in being less pedantic and learning how to create a fulfilling social life, but my intellect has lost some of the sharpness it gained in school, through constantly being exposed to, and asked to comment on, ideas. It's nice to find your content! :)

[@melissaproulx6955]

Also sorry all of my sentences are incredibly long, run-on sentences with an intense amount of additional sentences crammed in via parentheses and punctuation like Inception, but the English language instead of dreams lol

[@jvchee06]

Lol do you know why an intj and infj need loyalty so badly, because once you're in our inner circle we'll travel to the depths of hell for you and even take a bullet for you simply because we're friends. The connection is deep, the connection is real, nothing can take it away until we decide to door slam you. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[@CSJoseph]

They always claim that but never make good on ot

[@jvchee06]

@@CSJoseph I'm sorry you feel that way about it. :( Not all intj and infj are like that. I've know some that are and others that aren't. Just like you can't judge a book by its cover, you can't judge everyone else based on the stereotypes of their personalities or pass experience with those types. If that was the case I would hate every NTP I've met and ones that I've yet to meet lol. But I understand that just one bad apple doesn't represent the whole tree.

[@Relmyna]

You're right. 100% Take what you know about ESTP men and imagine that plus a INTJ women and I the massive amount of arguments that have happened and I've learned to understand that maybe I should with hold judgement until I ask and verify based on physical proof and site my sources. I don't like surprises.

[@tajmarie1329]

Lol, I must have listened to this video at least three times already. And what is most ironic, I just have had this song from the past (in the 80s) that kept replaying in my head for which I think applies. The Song was "Facts of Love" by Jeff Lorber. It is almost as if he has had some access to the INTJ/INFJ mindset: These are the facts of love These are the facts of love You've heard about my reputation You might think that I'm as cold as ice If you know a secret, I'm not so hard to satisfy I'll accept no invitations Men who play the game with foolish lies There found a dozen I've got something else in mind I need more than empty conversation Only takes me half away These are the facts of love Don't waste my time with temporally passion These are the facts of love I need more than ordinary satisfaction

[@phixi86]

TajMarie mean while I got what is love in my head😂

[@DrVein]

I'm sitting here thinking about "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me".

[@edsgerdijkstra2335]

INTJ here, great video.

[@elypelowski5670]

You are intense but it is an effective intensity. I will need to rewatch this when i can focus more

[@xandirkuro4790]

Thanks for another video!

[@argent-kestrel90]

I pretty much isolate myself and never get close to anyone because I don't trust anyone, especially people of "high morals" like Christians. I found more betrayal in people like that than anywhere else.

[@blackpearl1t]

Jus found ur videos man thanks i enjoy them great job!