Reddit's Safe Space for Stalkers | r/Obsessive_Love

[@Cuestar]

😳😳 check out my new lil emo song 😳😳 kzbin.info/www/bejne/gIe2mWiai7Z4otU

[@WeirdHardcore]

It's the emojis for me hun

[@Handl3sAreStupid]

🤭🤫

[@Dingy_Doodles]

broooo, I rolled my eyes SO hard when you said emo, but that was actual emo, I am so glad, not that it matters, but you have earned a new sub, also, great track

[@jjadac3529]

Cuestar, I'm saying this with genuine concern but going down these subreddit can have worse subreddits recommended to you (like r/yandere, r/obsession, r/Erotomania, etc) so I wanted to make sure you were weary as these things can become a dark rabbit hole.❤

[@js7934]

This is so disturbing. Reddit has shut down tamer subreddits than this and shouldn't have let this one get this far.

[@juliusweiss5447]

Do you forget this is on the same site that for the longest had a Jailbait subreddit and only took it down once it got media coverage?

[@Solanin0803]

Reddit is scared of the sub

[@marshmallowmountains4636]

Reddit doesn't care unless it starts to bring them bad press.

[@cosmicsymbols4225]

@@marshmallowmountains4636 welp, we know what we have to do then 😅 Bring this to your local newspaper/news site and just watch as the news outrage machine does what it does best lol

[@cramer4506]

@@cosmicsymbols4225 They don't care, can't sell fear from this.

[@franl155]

I felt almost physically ill. They don't love, they want to own, to totally possess - or be totally possessed. They don't want a partner, they want a slave, or an object that they control 100%.

[@SarahsKnight0]

Yeah, it was pretty bad. That last post titled "oh wow" had me thinking that the writer is so wrong in the head that she saw that movie 365 Days and was like, "hey! That sounds like a great idea!"

[@fivesageger6651]

I found the sub recently and clicked it because I thought it was like stuff to satisfy my obsessive compulsive disorder(organised items, satisfying order and cleanliness etc). Oh how wrong I was....

[@aaaduccs6667]

Yes this! And it always scares me, not the part where it’s found out that they’re like this but the part of what they would do to their “love” when/if they lose interest,

[@franl155]

@@aaaduccs6667 - They want the pursuit, not the capture; the thrill is in the chase, the power they have, or think they have, over their helpless prey. Once they've captured the prey, they'll lose interest, hang the head on their trophy wall and move on to another target. Or else they'll torture it, mentally and physically, to keep reinforcing that they still have power. To quote Mr Spock: "After a while you may find that having is not as satisfying as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."

[@charlieflight6124]

No, what you're thinking of is a abusive relationship. This is down..... I don't even know how down this is. But it's definitely lower than down horrendous.

[@coriander1521]

Okay, just seeing the entire premise of this subreddit makes me feel icky. How it hasn’t been shut down since it’s basically endorsing (promoting, actually) stalking is beyond me.

[@Cman04092]

I'm suprised reddit allows this. If one of these weirdos ever does something bad and is tied back to this sub reddit, I think they can be held accountable for encouraging illegal activity. Hopefully someone with a brain catches on before it gets to that point.

[@Sad0220]

It could be like any reddit taken down they just make more and more it's awful

[@shanemorehead2958]

Reddit allows CP on certain subreddits and look at how many mods are predators.

[@sourgummiescureyourpain4555]

@@shanemorehead2958 I thought r/jailb*it was shut down long ago? That was just horrific...

[@prodbytarantino]

Facts. I like the idea at first cause these people need a place to vent and have someone in their right mind bring them back to planet earth. But having it so public just gives other people the ability to encourage the others to act out on their “fantasies” if you could even call it that🤢These dudes need SERIOUS help.

[@random-faxts3873]

I have BPD, and one of the issues it comes with is having a favorite person. When I was with my ex, I was undiagnosed and absolutely horrible. I felt like he was my God. I would've done anything for him, and was majorly obsessed with him loving me. We broke up, but I couldn't let him go. It came to a point where I was borderline stalking him, and in my head I was convinced I needed to be there for him when he was going through a rough time. Thankfully he moved away and I sought out help. I'm very ashamed of who I was

[@marcusbergman6116]

Glad you sought help and got better!

[@random-faxts3873]

@@marcusbergman6116 thank you, me as well. Has definitely changed my life for the better ❤

[@sourgummiescureyourpain4555]

You can be proud of yourself for overcoming that. Best of luck to you! 🤞

[@random-faxts3873]

@@sourgummiescureyourpain4555 thank you so much! ❤

[@SomeOrdinaryJanitor]

congrats on overcoming this, i don't know what it is like, but im sure it wasn't easy. It was a good call for both parties involved...

[@strawberrysangria1474]

"murder and abuse is illegal. While I might not shun you for it" -r/holup. They're really alright with these freaks hurting their victims? That's proof this isn't about love, it's about trying to control someone because they think they're entitled to their body. They all belong in a prison where they can happily stalk each other.

[@Nerobyrne]

Stalking is already abuse. So, it doesn't surprise me that they'd take the next step tbh.

[@ficklefossils]

This is a long spiel but My ex was the type of person to blatantly call himself a yandere. He used it as his excuse for abusing me in horrible physical and sexual ways as well as stalking me, breaking into my home, even faking a suicide attempt after I genuinely tried to end my life to get away; resulting in him being in the same hospital with me. The behavior and statements started as “jokes” then this “obsessive love” as he and this sub called it, then escalated and escalated to him breaking in and threatening the life of my baby siblings for taking him to court. I had to leave school. I had to leave my home state. I moved states multiple times running from him. From 16 up to two years ago. I’ve had peace from him for two years now but I’m still constantly on edge. Anything that reminds me of him still scares me most days. I’m still paranoid everyone I meet knows him or if it’s online is him and it’s all a ploy. I’m still afraid one slip up will result in the people close to me hurting me or themself in retaliation the way he did. I still have physical scars I see every day from him hurting me. And this is just the results of this type of thinking and behavior from a 16 year old boy who thought this way. A grown adult with this mindset is even more chilling This behavior is not love, it’s abuse. This subreddit is disgustingly dangerous and enabling in my opinion

[@Rookvaleriannocturne]

I'm sorry you've gone thru this. I've been thru some of the same, and understand what you're going thru. It's difficult, but I truly hope you get/are getting the help you need and live/are living your best life. I'm proud of you for surviving all you have, and hope the future is so much better for you. Much love. ❤️‍🩹

[@Cman04092]

Im so sorry to hear this happened to you, nobody deserves to be treated like that. I'm glad you got away, and pray for you to remain safe. I'm also sorry you have to hear about this subreddit, which shouldn't even exist. Unfortunately, with reddit allowing this, this will only encourage this kind of behavior from mentally unwell people, when this should be being discouraged and these people should be shamed into seeking help, because this is mindset is not healthy or socially acceptable. This isn't really my place, but you did mention your fear of what an adult could do. Do you or have you ever considered getting some protection and learning how to use it? It can be a big equalizer when it comes to violent and abusive people. I mean, I hope everyday to never have to use mine. but just like many other tools, I'd rather have it and not need it, as opposed to need it and not have it. Anyways I wish you the best and I'm sorry again that you had to suffer through such a horrible experience.

[@suitov]

How horrible. I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope this piece of work gets the help he needs before he does this to anyone else.

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

I'm so happy you where strong enough to get away, and sad you had to be that strong.

[@charlieflight6124]

That isn't yandere, friend, that is not even close. That's more in line with yangire if I'm gonna be honest.

[@romanpauwels9685]

this subreddit should be shut down its just downright disturbing

[@Arlesmon]

I would be ok with a group of stalkers if that group is about overcoming their obsesivo behaivor and guides as to how to do it.

[@franl155]

I hope that some authority is monitoring the site that's able to determine users id and location, and then keep a very close eye on them.

[@gone9820]

@@franl155 authority should be monitoring the entirety of reddit.

[@pollyc.1957]

WHY would stalkers need--or DESERVE--a safe space?? Nah, screw those guys. They're not giving that same level of respect to their victims! I don't feel bad for them. I hope people DO keep shaming them for the sick and dangerous ways they are inflicting themselves on the lives of others.

[@popstel2286]

Nah I’m thinking empathy and understanding is a more effective route because most of them are people with mental illnesses but yeah honestly, screw those guys. Stalking someone is fricking sickening

[@Raintheartist3688]

the only safe place they deserve is a prison

[@charliedeegan1598]

@popstel2286 then they need therapy not an echo chamber.

[@Gis7]

Yeah, they aren't the victims here. I'm sorry, I'm totally in favor of someone who is mentally ill to get help and I may feel sympathy for them, but the moment you start to ruin someone else's life and put other people in risk, I'm sorry but you NEED to be called out for your creepy behavior. No mental disorder justifies doing something like this.

[@Gis7]

@@charliedeegan1598 Yeah, I know that most are mentally ill, but when you start to put other people's life in risk I'm sorry, but you need to be called out and get fucking help.

[@Arlesmon]

I am ok with a subreddit of stalkers, if that group is about overcoming those obsesive behaivors, or if it's about how they were stalkers, but after some inner reflection They're no longer stalkers. In those cases im fine, but this is not that case

[@Zulk_RS]

What you're basically describing is like an Alcoholics Anonymous group but for Stalkers. That's fine I think since it should be helping people get over this obsessiveness.

[@SomeOrdinaryJanitor]

had us in the first half im not gonna lie.

[@smug070]

The funny thing about this video is that it picks out comments from trolls and really crazy people that are deleted and reported by this community through the active mods. The people that are there are, for the most part, people who are in a relationship and are looking for tips to keep their obsession in check. I have hardly seen any post that was serious and romanticized about such illegal activities.

[@lilithangel9268]

the whole text message thing, remind me how my first serious boyfriend would talk to me. never dated before, had no idea what to expect. wound up locked in a room in a house for four years, my dad had to break a window to get me out (after i had stolen the guys cellphone) . the physical abuse was bad, permanent shoulder injury, nine pins in my jaw, the emotional and mental abuse messed me up so much worse. he torn down my entire personality and im still trying to rebuild myself over ten years later! thank you so much for showing everyone how this is a red flag!! thank you for these videos too!!

[@bathrobe4015]

Really glad you were able to get out of there that’s such an awful situation to be in. Best wishes on your journey to rebuild yourself

[@lilithangel9268]

@@bathrobe4015 thank you so much! im lucky i had a great dad!

[@wehavebiscuits]

Oh my god that's so horrible. I can't imagine how miserable you must have been. Can I ask you, do you somewhat get used to it after a while, being trapped somewhere? I can't imagine how you could ever live a normal life again otherwise.

[@SHinierthennyourforehead]

oh my goodness?????? thats so horrible.... youre so brave and strong for surviving that,,, i rlly hope ur doing way better now without that guy!!!

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

As someone who has had a creepy old man who was the age of my father do this stuff starting when I was 15 to when I was 18 & finally put a stop to it, yikes. This is so gross.

[@roxassora2706]

Some undercover cops should browse this

[@Nerobyrne]

did he stop because you got too old? 🤢🤮

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

@@Nerobyrne no he stopped because I took a baseball bat to him. He figured out that it would be less hazardous to his health to find someone else.

[@AmazingAutist]

@@tazhienunurbusinezz1703 Good.

[@wehavebiscuits]

@@roxassora2706 cops are the obes enabling this kind of stuff. They don't help stalking victims, probably a lot due to wanting to stalk other people themselves, or sympathizing more with the stalker.

[@05weasel]

No. You should never hang out in an eco chamber with people who fully support your destructive tendencies.

[@silvan_gold9343]

I don't believe for one second these "couples" posts are anything but stalker fanfic.

[@dodgyyoutuber9560]

Whenever I cringe at how hard I crushed on this guy in highschool, I can feel better by knowing I was nowhere near this bad.

[@craydussy]

Yeah, me as well. I am obsessive and i need to change, but i can take comfort knowing that i will never be near this level

[@spockezri]

ok as a therapist like. posting cat pictures is considered a safe level of self-disclosure (disclosing personal details) by almost everyone? that person is just victim blaming. i would never expect a patient to STALK ME because i said oh, i have pet rats, or posted pictures of my pets. i would straight up leave the profession forever about that creepy ass shit

[@rhiannonhamilton4427]

confession time: i like the yandere trope, i really do. But only in a fictional sense, once it crosses the border or reality it becomes terrifying.

[@s0urp0wer5]

Stalking your own therapist is something else

[@arandomcatheehee]

Glad I didn't know about this community a few years ago. I have BPD, which is commonly fetishized and considered the "yandere disorder" by people online. My ex encouraged the obsession I had with them until they realized that it wasn't cute or fun. I've been in therapy and no longer experience the obsessive feelings I had towards people. If I had been in this community, I might not have changed.

[@SomeNameWithGambitInIt]

I've been stalked for about a year when I was 15. I'm 28 now and still need a night light to sleep because even the most quiet noise makes me panic and I need to be able to see the whole room.

[@Buntsukii]

I love yanderes, but never outside of anime/manga/media. They're a fun character type that usually appear in horror. This subreddit is so concerning.

[@lesstalking3007]

""""""Fun"""""" character type.

[@marcy9510]

@@lesstalking3007 id like to hear your opinion on horror movies /sarc

[@childwithacroyon5388]

Agreed, it’s concerning how these people think this is how love works, I get if they had a kînk for that shît but keep it between two consenting adults and it’s make believe

[@katodd2925]

@@lesstalking3007 I love horror but always hated Yanderes. Super weird.

[@UltraMarineBlue]

This isn't love, this is limerence :/ I don't get how people can be so comfortable being this obsessed with someone. The fantasy of being with someone who's not interested in you irl is taking over your life and being okay with that and even celebrating it ಠ_ಠ like.. what??? It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but I have trouble with obsessing over people sometimes, and am currently working on it in therapy because it SUCKS and I want to get rid of it ASAP.. so seeing this is.. ugh.. kinda upsetting 🤢

[@ricebeansrockroll882]

Don't be ashamed, we all have demons. You are batteling yours, that's the most important part. And I agree, this subreddit freaks me out.

[@Nerobyrne]

I feel like this is "incels for women"

[@MintyDreams]

@@Nerobyrne Stalking is very unrelated to gender and sometimes unrelated to attraction at all

[@Gis7]

This subredit is sick, seeing people normalizing and even ROMANTOZING something which can lead to such harmful results and cause so much trauma to someone makes me feel sick of my stomach.

[@grave-d5v]

@@Nerobyrne funny you'd say that cause like 1) incels can be women 2) stalkers/'yanderes' very much can be men 3) this stuff is incel ass behavior to begin with

[@stormfischerr]

jesus, the story around 13:00 really sounds like they have BPD (borderline personality disorder)- this is coming from someone who has it. it’s definitely scary to experience someone acting like that towards you, but it’s also really scary to go through. the abandonment thing really struck me. in the end, we’re so fucking scared of everything an d just want comfort. i hope this person is able to get help.

[@suitov]

Now you mention it, you're totally right. The switching and the obsessive need. I also felt they were glossing over a lot when they said they had been "mean".

[@Gis7]

Yeah, that could be a case.

[@iwantmynametobeaslongaspos7194]

When I was young I was in a relationship with this beautiful girl but she had BPD, I didn’t want to leave her and really cared about her but she was insane and since she was always on coke it was even worse. I hope she’s better now but it was a tough thing to go through

[@pocket-stars]

as someone with actual obsessive love disorder, this type of stuff disgusts me and makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed for having a disorder. i know the disorder can be bad and make me do bad things if im not careful, and i try so hard not to let things get our of hand. these “yanderes” just make me feel disgusted

[@Gis7]

I'm so sorry for you since you didn't ask to be like this, but it's good that you recognize that things like this aren't ok and can lead to harmful results.

[@scootza1]

"They can't escape in fantasy" *Rapeyness Level 100*

[@oOzephyrOo]

Having been stalked myself i can confirm, it destroys lives, NOTHING good comes out of stalking, for anybody

[@nik41797]

there's stuff like this on tumblr and people try to excuse it by saying "it's a coping mechanism for BPD!1!" which drives me insane because as someone with BPD i've NEVER felt the need to stalk someone or possess someone or "crawl inside their skin" or any other straight-up abusive shit like that. it's disgusting, i hope this gets shut down

[@araphis836]

it actually did get shutdown a while back

[@xxMinniMouseexx]

it’s so scary knowing that there are people like this because we could be interacting with them on a day to day basis and have no idea.

[@InvasionAnimation]

As someone that has a stalker, I hope someone does like invader zim and harvests their organs.

[@Gis7]

Report them.

[@InvasionAnimation]

@@Gis7 I did. It seems they backed off, or at least they stopped being as open/aggressive about it.

[@maddyjane3937]

So “yandere” is actually a Japanese term that comes from manga/anime. The “Yan” means sick and the “dere” part means love/loving. The whole point is the “yandere” is the villain. Usually pretending to be sweet then “snapping” eventually. These people have taken an anime trope and absolutely sprinted with it lol

[@RaccoonWithRabies]

I gotta admit, I have some obsessive tendencies. Some things shown here are... eerily reminicent of some thoughts I've had in the past. Though I've never acted on them and I've only ever engaged in cyberstalking (which is obviously still creepy and deeply unhealthy). I still have a long ways to go, but I'm working on it. Granted, the fact that I'm physically seperated from my obsession now probably helps as well. The thing one has to realize, though, is that (as Cue mentions) no healthy relationship can possibly come out of an obsession like this. You're not on the same wavelength as your infatuation, you put them on a pedastal and/or you see them as something you own. You don't see them as a person just like yourself. Personally, I feel it was never really ABOUT the woman I was obsessed with at the time. (Won't lie, there were multiple). Sure, I had a crush on her as well, but it was more about the prospect of being with someone. About having someone to love, who (might, someday) love me as well. They become less of a person and more of a vessel to impose your perfect romcom/anime fantasies onto. That's also partially why this sub is so upsetting. This should be a SUPPORT sub. But it's not, they're not helping anyone get away from this toxic mindset. They're perpetuating the delusions of mentally unstable people. You can learn to love in a healthy, mutually beneficial way, this isn't how you find happiness. I sincerely hope the posts on this sub are just fantasies/creative writing exercises, and that all of the users there learn to improve and form healthier bonds. And that the people they're obsessed with stay safe and sound.

[@hannahb730]

This is literally my worst nightmare. I’ve distanced myself from friendships for obsessive behavior like this I can’t imagine in a romantic relationship. So fortunate to have an awesome boyfriend that respects my boundaries.

[@imperialspacemarine1539]

the first post is quite helpful. its a list of things you can look out for to prevent being cyberstalked. like: be on private, show your personal stuff you dont want to directly share, warn your family etc. some good came out of that one

[@TheStarshipGarage]

“It’s been six months since me and my sweetheart started our relationship. They’ve been so understanding of me, even when I don’t deserve it” Me: “aw, okay, so this is kinda normal” “THEY’VE GIVEN ME THEIR HAIR, FINGERNAIL CLIPPINGS, AND BLOOD” Me: 😦 There’s a point that goes beyond lovey-dovey honeymoon phase and into abusive and manipulative. Lovey-dovey is saying “this song reminded me of you, and I thought I saw you at the store today” and stuff of that manner, whereas “we should create a blood pact, no girl is allowed to do much as look at you. I have memorized your blood type and the type of underwear you prefer. I wish I could physically be with you every second of every day of your life. If I could graft myself to you, I would” and it seems this subreddit doesn’t know the difference between that at all. These people need to get off the internet and find help.

[@spooklass]

12:28 Honestly, it seems this person is starting to realize the issue with their behavior. It also seems like their partner is trying to help him out of it. Maybe there is a happy ending for these two, where he eventually gets over his obsessiveness. Probably not, but I just hope he learns from this experience.

[@Will-22]

This is deeply disturbing, but I'm not surprised. Reddit has always had subs like this r/narcissist comes to mind where they all justify there toxic behaviour towards others because their "mentally ill". Certain subs are just one big echo chamber.

[@Elpresidente98]

I had trouble finding a gf when I was in my teens so as a teen I fantasized about having a "yandere" gf that would be obsessed over me. It was silly at best and unhealthy at worst. Good thing I got better and grew out of that.

[@EggGorlComics]

I had an ex like this. Stalked, recorded, monitored my every move, tried to ruin my life also when we broke up. Didn’t work 👊

[@lillithherondale1972]

This is what literal crime documentaries are about. Literal show called "obsession: dark desires" was one I watched. This is the vibe these give me

[@spockezri]

my ex was into this ✨obsessive love✨ shit and at first feeling adored and unconditionally loved was amazing but it wore me down to feel like i had to be "perfect" and i felt dehumanized, plus the boundaries just were not there. idk they're not a bad person or stalker like these people just a really messed up person. they also told me in advance that they had these problems which i did appreciate. i was down being friends bc i knew and knew it would not be dangerous bc of the explanation and knowing them some first. so like these people could have friends who wanted to help them if they were honest!

[@kyliebalding260]

I have BPD and I know I will forever be marked as the "Crazy Girlfriend." Seeing these extremes is like comic relief..

[@reesepiece331]

"These thoughts are only getting more intense because I ran out of my meds." Whoop, there it is...

[@michellestella7477]

oh this is going to be disturbing af

[@SUBM4CH1N3]

Killing it with the consistent uploads, Cue! Hope to see you on steam again soon

[@jerryzhang5032]

metaphorically, unlike the literal sense stalkers deal in

[@kayq3231]

"Icky icky, gross gross, yuck!" But respectfully. These people genuinely need help.

[@maggotwclf]

watching this made me realize how obsessive my ex was he's trying to fix himself now though (thank god)

[@Sidstar101]

as a victim of cyber stalking and the occasional in-person stalking, this behaviour isdisgustingand i cant believe this subreddit was allowed to be kept up

[@regina.sfs67]

as someone who does easily obsess over things/people (dw I'm trying to get better), it infuriates me to see people doing all this with absolutely no shame whatsoever. this isn't some "super romantic" anime moment, this is CREEPY. I hope these people get better tho, ik it's tough to stop this kind of behavior, but it will be worth it.

[@chillinsquirtle]

Stuff like this is why I think women should get guns and learn how to use them effectively. Dudes are crazy out there

[@Peanut778]

I feel like giving anybody guns would start more problems than it would solve.

[@chillinsquirtle]

@@Peanut778 maybe, I'd say knife or some other self defense weapon but guns are just so effective

[@phaeste]

Women can also be stalkers, and guns are a really shit solution, if one party can get a gun, then why can't the other?

[@weef2188]

@@phaeste i mean if they both have guns then they are just playing even at that point people are a lot less likely to attack you if they know you are capable of fighting back

[@chillinsquirtle]

@@phaeste I think most people should be able to get guns. Anyone who feels they need a self defense weapon should get whichever one they want (within reason of course)

[@dougferguson9113]

Why do I feel like this is what happens when a girl *does* go with a “””nice guy”””?

[@jdools4744]

Woman moment lol

[@bedazzledmisery6969]

Also, I'm so very concerned about the degree of being mentally ill/unstable and/or from a history of abuse these yandere ppl are... The last one was so so alarming. I sure hope that person takes their meds, is an adult and that their desire to be "obedient and owned" doesn't stem from going through horrible abuse in childhood and life in general... And that they don't hurt themselves or anyone else. Good Lord. Don't ppl remember the whole actual Yandere murderer chick that was in Japan??? She's like stabbed her boyfriend a ton of times and then sat next to his mutilated body and was totally emotionless as she pulled out her phone to make a call send smoke a cigarette, iirc. This subreddit is really really dangerous imo.... Edit: chicks name is Yuka Takaoka.

[@denysebrooks8770]

For a long time I thought I was an obsessive person but this has made me feel much better. This is craziness.

[@emilyfallaw5912]

As someone with an obsessive nature, I feel sick at the idea of sharing it with anyone, let alone encouraging other people to act on it. These people really need help, and this subreddit is incredibly dangerous.

[@veronicarodriguez1751]

Stalkers and yandere's don't need a safe space. They need therapy.

[@kolonarulez5222]

If you have to be a freak be a harmless one and get a waifu. She'll love the page of notes and love shrine you make for her.

[@Solanin0803]

Can confirm , she does. We've been together for a year now and I just bought a jar for our aniversary 🥀😍💕 Legaly I have to disclose that this is a joke.

[@phaeste]

@@Solanin0803 nothing more romantic than a jar

[@NotacatNoraDoge19125]

not surprised a subreddit like this exists, bc, yknow, its reddit but oh boy if i didnt think my paranoia regarding this stuff was bad enough it's 10x worse lmao

[@aidanpia5458]

Every single person on this list should be on a watch list somewhere. These are the kinds of people that those scary stories are about

[@jenny5995]

I've been in a relatively obsessive relationship and it absolutely crashed and burned so hard.

[@stan8479]

I used to have obsessive love tendencies as a teenager because of insecurity and OCD. Looking at these posts, god, I am so glad I no longer am like that.

[@Chelaxim]

Cue going on a rampage with the uploads...good.

[@Naitohana]

This makes me feel sick, stalking itself is illegal isn't it? Especially to this degree? This is lowkey bordering on incel territory as well... Ew. It scares me to know I used to be like these people. I feel awful for how I treated past relationships like this. It took a lot of therapy but yeah, each relationship ended very dramatically and very painfully when I was like this. Therapist and I managed to dig that we think it stemmed from abandonment and attachment issues. It's such a toxic mindset. It's hard to realize you're being toxic until it finally hits you in the skull after everyone ditches you because you're terrifyingly obsessive. I can't say for all of these people in these videos, but there are definitely some mental illness playing at hand with some of these people.

[@tidepodpadthai2633]

On paper it's illegal but a lot of the time cops refuse to do anything about it until the stalker actually harms their victim physically, otherwise they just shrug and go "sorry we can't do anything lol"

[@lizfritz6546]

So many of these people sound like they have borderline personality disorder but dialed up to 1000000. I have it and the obsession with a favorite person can be violent and when given the blueprint (a yandere character) and encouragement by others, I’m not surprised this is where some end up. Others I’m sure don’t have BPD. It’s just from personal experience and from knowing what it’s like to be in that very dark, scary place where that one person becomes everything for a while. I’ve threatened my life over break ups, /actually/ hurt myself over them not responding fast enough. It is insanely unhealthy and getting proper treatment helped so much. These stories are just breaking my damn heart.

[@CelestiaQuinn]

I’m only a minute in and I’ll have to sit this one out bc I have a literal stalker and this hits too close to home I’m really enjoying your consistent uploads though

[@donotbangchan]

I checked if its still up and it is, and its mostly just people trying to justify their behaviors because of their mental illnesses or "people not understanding how we love". Theyre so weird 😭

[@andreakoroknai1071]

people would really, really benefit from learning to deal with rejection, it sucks, but 90% isn't about you. I used to be very rejection-phobic (I'm also commitment-phobic but fall in love too easily), this mess is caused by things like childhood trauma, previous bad relationship experiences, if you have the opportunity, sort things out in therapy, it will do a world of good. This shit right here is downright dangerous. Too many women (and men) are murdered by their SOs and former SOs

[@lorey1330]

Just hearing all this makes me so paranoid.

[@gamerthem5063]

I were stalked by a woman, but she did not do it for love. She wanted to destroy my life

[@mysterylovescompany2657]

I feel like this sub is probably 75% harmless 11 - 15 year olds who've just never actually _dated_ anyone, 10% "Twilight Mum"-types, & 15% fixated middle-aged men who are legit sinister.

[@idoblenderstuffs]

watching this reddit, you find a post thats funny and relatable! you... find a post thats funny and relatable.... theres something wrong with you

[@VerucaMarie]

I'm an old lady now (I'll be 39 next month) but I have an obsessive personality. Normally it's little things that I'll be obsessed with for a few months and then I move on to something else but two things have lasted my whole life - music and wrestling. Those aren't too bad, they're not cheap hobbies but I've also seen a lot of kick ass shows and met some rad people in the process.

[@Solanin0803]

Aw, that is *so* cool! I also love music and wrestling and get to share both hobbies with a good friend.

[@VerucaMarie]

@@Solanin0803 my dad is the reason I love wrestling - luckily he's still around. My partner is a singer/songwriter and my oldest is a musician so I'm always surrounded by the people and things I love.

[@g4uzy]

same! i realized its because my adhd though lol

[@VerucaMarie]

@g4uzy 2 years later here - um, yeah it was adhd. LoL

[@VerucaMarie]

Meaning mine, mine also ended up being adhd.

[@davidlisteresq]

The internet has conditioned me to be instantly wary of anyone thats too into anime.

[@rigby2878]

i think a lot of people who are drawn to this subreddit would find a lot of genuine healing and solace in something like r/Breakups. there are lots of "obsessive" or anxiously attached people there who are able to properly vent their feelings about being abandoned or left and they are met with advice stemming from genuine self love and radical acceptance. What these people are experiencing isn't wrong or bad or evil; how they're choosing to express it is.

[@sugarcoatedslaughterhouse4937]

Jesus Christ I was gonna say these people desperately need therapy, but then one of them…. Uh…

[@kirbyleggington7205]

I'm glad to see Toga has found her place on the internet.

[@peterpiper4592]

the "let me count the ways I love you" post is legitimately so similar to my ex partner that for a minute I thought it was them. like I would get messages during the middle of the night saying they're gonna hurt themself or stuff like "I need you please please I can't control myself please" ... needless to say, I was being emotionally abused

[@rfmerrill]

The extreme fear of abandonment leading to emotional episodes when the person they like doesn't respond *really* sounds like PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder or a related condition. I hope these people get help for whatever they're suffering from.

[@jjadac3529]

I thought it sounded more like Erotomania, Obessive love disorder and extreme Limerance :/

[@foolishgamer99]

double video streak? lets go cuestar

[@GreenBrierPatch]

The notes about a partner makes sense, I had one for a while because my memory is shit and I wanted a list of likes and dislikes for gift ideas. Only difference is the list was NOT secret and I was actively in a relationship with him and now we're married and have always had a healthy relationship. Making a whole ass list about someone who barely even knows you is scary af 😬

[@figmentoffairies]

I see teenage me in these people. I delt with a lot of family trauma that left me looking for the unconditional love I didn't feel I was getting at home. I fell in love with the idea of fate and falling so far in love with someone that nothing else matters. One of my highschool boyfriends reciprocated and it fell into a deeply abusive relationship. He was a "nice guy" who had never had a partner before and was deeply controlling and abusive. He would use ignoring me as punishments which would make me feel like I NEEDED to talk to him. I don't want to get too much into it but yeah this kind of thinking comes from trauma and relationships built on this foundation never play out happily

[@artisticfruitloops5097]

Ah, I've been rewatching, I'm so glad there's more

[@jdinsomniac7504]

Ngl this awakened something in me. I’m realizing some of the things i’ve done or thought have not been healthy 😬 (i have not acted in a lotta these ways for awhile and am actively getting better)

[@jennamorrison1952]

God this video is so scary, idk why but the ones in relationships scared me so much, because breakups are already hard, if these people DO end up breaking up then I think things would get dangerous FAST

[@elliejellybeannnn]

10:45 talk tuah reference omg

[@user-DragonWhiskers]

I love the opossum censor bars I love opossums so much

[@tidepodpadthai2633]

The fact the one guy stalking his therapist tries to put the blame on her is super gross. Like how since she doesn't hide everything about her life she "deserves it" somehow. She shouldn't have to avoid posting things as simple as her cat because she should just assume that people will stalk her if she does, you should just NOT STALK HER. He knows what he's doing is wrong but clearly he thinks she must be asking for it since she dared to post a picture of her cat.

[@hurricanejaney]

8:16 i’m going to have to disagree here. obsession is not love, and the post heavily implies that he wants her to be scared. this is a manner of control. it’s wicked, and he even admits that it’s not really about a sense of attraction; it’s about fulfilling a desire. he lusts over the idea that she’s constantly frightened and anxious. moreover, it doesn’t seem like a separate matter that he would use a forum to brag about this anonymously, any more than serial killers like to journal their actions for their own mementos, or toy with police. they WANT to brag. they want others to know what they’re capable of and how “clever” they are. this is how they gain satisfaction, and they’d do so publicly if it didn’t mean being caught/potentially prosecuted, and therefore unable to continue pursuing their victim. that’s why this forum is so dangerous. it’s a way for these creeps to gain adulation for sick acts without the chance of being identified. all that to say, having an “obsessive nature” isn’t an excuse for extending trauma to an innocent person. we have therapy and psychiatry for this. anyone with a disorder that would lend to stalking ought to seek help. it’s not a personality trait; it barely qualifies as a mental illness. it’s more of a fetish than anything. and hey, fetishes are fine so long as all parties are consensual and no one is harmed. this, on the other hand, is criminal behavior. illegal? perhaps not. but criminal nonetheless.

[@trashcan2748]

I’ve dealt with an ex harassing me for 3-4 years. It’s why I never posted my college on Instagram and honestly don’t want to post as myself on social media anymore because I feel scared that somehow he’ll see it and try to contact me again. Seeing this subreddit makes me feel physically ill, the people on it need to get help because what they’re doing is really fucked up.

[@kimdavidson9408]

This is terrifying and I can't help but think that they sound unnervingly like Joe from that Netflix series "You"....... where he murders multiple people under the guise of doing it for the good of their person

[@Zeffer32]

I find it interesting the whole ties to anime when in reality I think this kind of toxic love is all over popular media especially pop music. They paint love out to be this be all and end all, that without love life is meaningless, that devoted love like this is romantic. It makes me think of the uncountable movies where there's a guy who just pesters a woman into loving them, and it always works out in a happily ever after, in a 'she didnt know it but he was the answer to all her problems' way. As someone who's demiromantic I've always had a pet peeve for how love is portrayed, I find it silly to put so much into anything, life isnt just about finding a significant other, I think these people need to focus on themselves instead of losing themselves in another, no matter how difficult it is... I could have worded all that better but hey, it's 3am get off my back :P great vid as always Cue

[@Dexter-Draws]

Becoming obsessive and possessive is a huge part of my mental problems that I'm working on and holy shit even I'm not that crazy lmao what the fuck

[@Whyiseverynametakenwtf]

the idea that there's a safe space for people like this messes me up. What's even worse though is the thought of this being possible to happen to me or somebody i know without even knowing it. It's so scary

[@trilliontrillion8087]

I had 5 stalkers in my life ,it can be crazy , one guy was calling me from the bushes in front of my house !

[@TheFreshPrinceOfSaiyans]

As someone who’s best friends with a kpop idol, Cue you should look into the obsessive world of kpop stalkers. They’re called sasaengs. My friend has to deal with them too, even we do by being associated with her. It’s crazy.

[@corgii3581]

My ex acted just like some of the people in that subreddit. He would throw tantrums and threaten to hurt himself because I refused to act like a yandere around him. He made me cosplay for him to. I was only 16 with no relationship experience so I just did what he said for the most part. He told me that he thought of me as the girl of his dreams (a yandere from a game) while he was doing sexual things in front of me or to me (it always disgusted me and I never consented to it but of course I was an ignorant teenager) He was the most foul human being I've ever unfortunately been in a relationship with. Never trust people like that.

[@JaseekaRawr]

Solid choice to have Helga Patacki from Hey Arnold as the background photo 😂

[@LivexLifexLost]

I know that I have a very controlling personality (OCPD lol) and have had borderline moments of over obsession or over control, but it's all about personal awareness. I don't want to be such a controlling person, so instead of inflicting that on other people, I just focus on little things I can control, keep those things perfect, and it helps me take space to let people do shit that I can't have control over. This shit makes me fucking sick to my stomach though. It's terrifying, at base level, and can be very, very dangerous for all parties involved. I don't know how these people aren't aware of the issues they have and are causing.

[@HobieInTheBox]

I absolutely hate the yandere trope in anime, and real people who are yanderes just terrify me.

[@yarrow1113]

And this takes codependency to a *whole new level* YIKES

[@jjadac3529]

This subreddit confuses me, I tend to stalk people because I do not understand social cues such as 'I don't want to see you anymore' or 'I don't want to talk to you anymore'; I just do not understand how someone can stalk another person intentionally while knowing what the person means?!?!

[@InkGills]

This entire subreddit makes me feel ill. The entire idea of a sort of echo-chamber of enabling these type of people is horrific. People who have these kind of thoughts and feelings need help not to be encouraged. I was in a relationship with a guy similar to these people for a month, when he started doing this kind of stuff I left right away. After this he stalked me and tried to sabotage my friendships and relationships. I hope the subreddit gets taken down soon.