Depression. ("Running the Race Together") 😔

[@brandilorts3819]

"I will be there through the good times and I will be there through the bad. When you feel like you're all by yourself just know I'll always have your back." Good daily reminder just in your intro song! Remember you are not alone. Praying for you, Cullen and the rest of the family. ❤ Much love!

[@CullenandKatie]

This.

[@brandilorts3819]

Cullen & Katie Not to mention I'll never forget what you have always said Katie, it helps me and my husband from time to time (especially in the crazy military life): "Never forgot why you fell in love in the first place." ❤

[@coenpresley7144]

Cullen & Katie I hope all goes well I love y’all so much

[@simplyraeann3711]

Brandi Sauer I will FOREVER hear this and let this soak in. Wow! This song has much more meaning than just a song now! Thank you!

[@brandilorts3819]

Simply RaeAnn So simple and so meaningful. ❤

[@Kpmomof4]

Surprised how much you can love some people and never “know” them. I love your blogs and feel like we are friends and i don’t even “know” you and your lovely wife. You and Katie will get through thus! Marriage and children are tough; we have been married 33 years and as much as i love my hubby it takes work. Kids can drain parents and the ones we love the most we hurt the most because it is so easy. Just try to be aware of when you are feeling more tense and communicate so you can be more aware of when you may be more on edge. Date night is very important and putting marriage before kids which is very hard when you have toddlers. Sending you both big hugs and know you are not alone! You are best friends and never forget that ❤️❤️❤️

[@kaybunce4277]

I’ll be praying for both of you! I try to live by the rule of not treating your spouse ruder than you would a friend! Seems like counseling would help ! Whatever happens know your dad is proud of you and would not want you to be sad !

[@SashaSteelQueenie]

that was well said

[@lammychop]

Cullen, I've suffered depression for almost 7 years now. Take care of your mental health man. See a therapist, go on a vacation just yourself, get a massage, take 30 mins out of your day and just relax by yourself, whatever helps YOU! We are here for you! We love you! Depression sucks but it's not your fault, not our fault, not the kids fault, not katies fault. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain! Don't blame anyone or anything for it!! Keep calm and carry on!!

[@LaurenBrazee]

Lord knows marriage has its seasons we just came out on the other side of a couple rough years and boy has it been pretty incredible. Y'all will get through this season keep the faith ❤️❤️❤️

[@stellablue6076]

Depression is like that mess in the back of your closet that you see every single day but constantly tell yourself you’ll deal with it later and then one day it has completely taken over. Hope you’re able to take the time you need.💜

[@CullenandKatie]

StellaBlu e Great way to look at it. Totally agree. ❤️

[@tiffanyclark9703]

This is such a great analogy.

[@dariankranz9594]

Depression really sucks and doesn't discriminate. It comes after anyone of any gender or age or lifestyle. I went through a really bad depression in 7th grade where I didn't even leave my house for 2 years. I'm starting to fall back down into that depression again. It's really hard. Especially when you feel you're not okay and you're getting worse but you don't know how to stop it or how to feel better. Depression is a disgusting monster. I'm sorry to everyone who has to go through it but I know it'll get better ❤️

[@chasejefferson8257]

Darian Kranz I’m praying for you✝️🙏🙏 REMEMBER THAT JESUS LOVES YOU AND JESUS SAVES✝️🙏🙌🏻

[@jessicamueller2265]

This vlog honestly couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve been dealing with depression for years and lately I’ve been taking it out on my husband. We’ve talked about separation, counseling and everything in between. When you mentioned a few bad years in comparison to 50 years I cried. You’re so right , and I’m hoping we can pull through this. Sending so many positive thoughts your way!! You guys are amazing and definitely brighten our home 💕

[@bkang]

Oh Cullen and Katie, you guys are SO very precious, to so many of us......I have actually been praying for you both, for some time now 🙏🏻🙏🏻💕 It can’t have been easy to be so open about how you’re feeling, you are very brave Cullen......and Katie is absolutely right!! Marriage is a journey that we take together for sure, and it can at times be just the most frustrating, confusing, heartbreaking thing to feel like there’s a wall between you and this person that you love so very much; to not know what it is or why it’s there, or even how it got there (as you said, sometimes in the busy-ness of every day, these things just creep up on us) ....and it’s even more frustrating to feel like everything you say or do seems to add a couple more bricks onto that damn horrible wall!! From experience - complete and total honesty with one another is the key to bringing that thing down to the ground and leaving it there 👊🏻💕 We (hubby and I) have always maintained that it’s better to be honest in the moment - or shortly after, as sometimes you need time to process something before you can even talk about it - and have things get momentarily rough / upsetting as you talk it through, but to then be able to move forward a little more open, healed, and together, than to just keep everything hidden or bottled up, and try to keep going regardless. That is how resentment, frustration and barriers build up over time. Of course when you initially start with the honest conversations after a while without them, it can feel like The Apocalypse is happening lol 😂🙈 !! But, I promise you, if you’re approaching all of this from the perspective of - we have no clue what is even happening here any more, but we made a real, lasting commitment to love, cherish, support, uphold, protect and be there for each other, until death parts us - and that’s what we’re going to do no matter what - if that is your starting point, then you absolutely can and will get through anything and everything together, because that is your heart’s desire, your true resolve 💕💕 I know you guys get a lot of flack in the comments for not showing us every teeny tiny detail of your lives, but honestly, life and love and marriage and family is just SO much more important. So take time out, alone, together and with real people who know and love you, to walk through this together 💕 I also totally understand that feeling of - we have everything, so why do I feel so at odds within myself? Your heart is the key to everything. If you have a happy, peaceful heart you can be happy living in a cardboard box! But if your heart is sad, burdened, or broken, you can live in a palace and it just won’t ever feel good. Cullen, Katie is your heart......as the two of you walk through this, and grow closer together - which I absolutely believe you will - your heart will begin to heal and feel joy again, and then you’ll be able to truly enjoy all the amazing gifts in your life again ☺️💕 If other issues are causing your heart to hurt too (loss, grief, change etc) then perhaps some counselling might help? Again, it can be painful at the start, but from experience, once you get over the hump and into the healing, it makes a lifetime of difference 💕 I’m sorry this is so long already, but one more thing struck me as you were talking......you mentioned that the two of you are just so different to who you were when you first met, and you have to somehow hold on to who you used to be in order to get through this? My take on it is ever so slightly different.....of course you’re both different now to how you were over a decade ago!! You’re both older now, you’ve lived more life, your opinions and feelings will have changed - and even divulged - on so many things!! The way I think of it is like......growing together through life is a true balance. In one hand you are holding the other person’s heart; you never ever forget who you fell in love with, because at our very core, we always remain who we are, and Katie is still Katie, no matter what!! But in the other hand, you hold the other person’s journey; you honour and support who they were, who they are now, and who they will one day become.....you release them to continually explore new facets of their personality, new passions and desires, and you support them and love them through those changes, even if they occasionally weird you out lol. If you can embrace that balance - steadfast love, along with beautiful change - then as the years go by, you will both learn to fall in love a great many times with each other as time goes on. Because you will both feel like no matter what direction you take, the other person is your one steadfast rock, that person who will be there day in and day out, supporting you, loving you, and cheering you on no matter what 👊🏻💕 So look at Katie, look at who she is right now; get to know her and fall for her all over again, and don’t be worried that it might not happen - because deep at her core, she’s still your Katie. And you are still her Cullen. And that kind of love is forever 💕 Sending you both so much love, big hugs and prayers.....you guys will absolutely come through this ☺️🙏🏻💕 xxxxx

[@WashTV]

Appreciate your honesty-- I'm guessing more people are walking similar paths than you realize. Stay strong. Lean on people. Love.

[@crazycleaningmamavlogs]

i love that you guys are so real and you share things like this. Its real, its honest. i love it!

[@gangslat2140]

Don’t Be Afraid to take a break if you need to. Your mental health is wayyy more important than posting videos. 💗 ❤️

[@Fel726]

Vlogging every day and being together 24/7, living in a glass house takes it toll. Vloggers need to find balance. While as an audience I selfishly appreciate seeing a vlog every day, but realistically people in the work place have days off and vacations and sick time etc. Find some balance, find someone to talk to and take the time needed. Your relationship is worth it. xox

[@artemisalexandria1399]

There aren't enough words in any language in the universe for me to say how sorry I am you've been dealing with depression. I've dealt with depression since my sophomore year of high school and am now a junior in college. Y'all are in my thoughts and prayers and I sincerely hope you make it through this stronger than you ever have been before.

[@SuddenKimpact]

Oh Cullen you guys are going through so much. KZbin can take a huge toll on a relationship. It is a lot of pressure to daily vlog. And then on top of it the pressure that comes with having young kids. Depression is so common and real and relationships definitely have ups and downs. I appreciate you being so candid with us!

[@normabaldridge6563]

Sudden Kimpact i

[@AlessaM183]

Sudden Kimpact I think they are at the point they might need to walk away from KZbin. At least daily vlogging. They need a job and life outside the house and each other. Adult conversation that isn’t family is vital to our social beings.

[@tracyworby4620]

Wisdom I’ve learned over my 22+ years of marriage: your spouse isn’t the problem! They are your partner and the one you love. They are the one that you chose to fight through this life beside. The problems you face in life are just puzzles that you need to work out together. Also don’t forget to include the third member of your marriage - God. Pray it through together! It’s humbling, but it knocks the walls down! Praying for you guys!! 🙏

[@amandadarby1906]

Tracy Worby Loved this! I would also highly recommend The book, 'Only Love Today' by Rachel Macy Stafford

[@Hannainsweden297]

Wow life lesson! That's so true but I've never seen it like that. Thank you!

[@kpratt6685]

This comment is powerful. ❤

[@67countrygirl]

Yes yes spot on 👍

[@RLRCMR2017]

Yes Tracy!!!

[@TiffanyAlex]

Sending you guys all the love. ❤ Life is a roller coaster and sometimes things just start to get out of our control. Hoping for the best for you two.

[@melaniebeachy1]

1 Peter 1:13-16,22 , James 1 , 1 & 2 Timothy, Deuteronomy 31:8, Psalm 40:1-3 , 1 Peter 5:6-7 , 1 Peter 4:12-13 Basically 1 peter has been the best, and surprisingly Job has always been encouraging to me when Im in my seasons of depression or trials in life. That the Lord has mighty plans through the trials and lows in our lives. It's something that I'm trying to live through right now. The weight of depression and anxiety in my own life, its so hard, and it does kick my butt, but being honest with myself and my circle of community has helped.. Trying to be like Job, and still giving praise to the Lord in the midst of this trial, is a source of God giving strength, and not relying on my own strength or earthy wisdom. Because in the midst of this trial is so much beauty, seeing the possibilities of what the Lord will teach you both in this season. Such sweet growth will come at the end of this trial, and it will have made you both better on the inside, and in your relationship first with the Father, and then with each other. I pray that the Lord provides of His mighty grace for each of you. That the Lord will provide wisdom and just unbounding love on you each. Something that has been helping me, has been taking "St. Jons Wort", a natural anti-depressant, found in the vitamin section at stores. Then filling my morning just in prayer and worship. Even before I get out of bed, i spend it reading in my bible. Trying to find strength through that first. Remember how loved you both are, and how much the Lord is walking along side you both during this trial. Thanks for your honesty Cullen, praying for you and Katie, brother!

[@bjmehl2009]

The book of Job helped me too when I went through a dark period. I sought Christian counseling also which helped tremendously. The root of my depression was I was fighting God. When I finally got to a place where I could accept what is, and stopped questioning God, I got to a much better place. Praying for you all, and that you will find your root, whatever that might be, and that God will give you the grace to deal with that together.

[@tiffanyclark9703]

I am glad I read this. I will have to read those scriptures. Thank you for sharing.

[@kristaskaleidoscope9057]

melaniebeachy1 great advice!! God is good ALL the time!

[@SwappFamily]

Love your honesty Cullen! ❤️ The passed few years has been extremely hard on my marriage but we are working though it and I know 5 years from now these couple years won’t even be a thought in our heads. I loved when you said if you only have a few bad years in your 50 years of marriage then that’s doing pretty good!

[@whitetiger6618]

Go hug your wife Cullen!

[@ShayleeOfficial]

Thanks for sharing! Since having our kids we’ve moved 5 times, have gotten two new cars, have changed jobs 3 times... it’s a lot. On top of that, put the pressure of KZbin and being in the public eye and sometimes it feels like too much. Just remember that nobody expects you to be perfect. You both are human just like the rest of us. Praying for you especially as you deal with depression. It’s so hard to navigate life sometimes. Also, maybe you guys should take a bit of a break? Or not post every single day. Your health is so much more important so do what you need to do.

[@purplelonghorn07]

After my dad died, I sunk into a HUGE depression. It lasted 4-5 years. My whole life was about covering up the unhappiness. I’m not sure how I got out of it. Maybe time just made it easier. Every once in awhile I still get depressed about it. I’m praying for you both

[@CullenandKatie]

Spending so much effort covering up the hurt and struggle inside and putting on a happy face for everyone (and I don’t just mean for the internet) definitely takes a toll and is one of the biggest things that delays healing, I believe. So glad to hear you are doing better. ❤️

[@igna83]

I also fell into a depression after my father died, which lasted 5-7 years, as well. I finally had to seek professional counseling (mine was through Agape Christian Counseling) - it ended up being my saving grace and it saved our marriage. Ya'll are in my thoughts.

[@purplelonghorn07]

igna83 thankfully I wasn’t married or with kids. I was 15 when he died so it made my teenage years very miserable. I wish my mom would have gotten me professional help. He had cancer my whole life and it finally killed him in the end

[@malibunikkie]

Cullen & Katie Caren Collins am kind of going threw this now. My grandma died 13 months ago. She was my 2nd Mom after my dad left. I lived with her for 33 years am 37. I had a bad fall and couldn’t walk. a day before she started “ actively” dying. I had to go into rehab (I have ra) I had to say good bye over the phone to her and miss her funeral. On top mourning I have guilt I wasn’t there. I don’t know about being married. But I know what it takes for but a front on for people. When your. Really not dealing well at all with the death of a loved one. Your not alone❤️

[@purplelonghorn07]

Nicole parise I’m so sorry about your grandma

[@ameliajo7954]

My heart goes out to both of you, Katie and Cullen! Depression is a struggle for both those who deal with it as do their loved ones! Bless your heart for being able to own up to this and talk openly about it. Take care of yourself! Love you guys!!! ❤️

[@Kmryan30]

The timing of this hits me hard. I’m laying in bed crying because I miss my mom so much it physically hurts. I lost her in Aug 2016. I get where you are. Stay strong. Know that your family is there to help you! Love on your babies and your wife. Your dad would be so proud of you!

[@michellethomas7140]

Kristen Ryan I just wrote a awful long post to them on this very topic, I lost my Mom in March of 2016, it's been horrible!

[@Kmryan30]

Michelle Thomas Cullen saying he just keeps himself distracted is so my life. Then there are times I stop and sit and think and that’s when reality hits. I know we will all get through this season of life. Our parents would want that.

[@SweeetHomeAlabama]

I'm sorry for your loss, Kristen. Hugs. ((Kristen))

[@michellethomas7140]

Kal-El my Mother had Dementia basically the same thing. And it is hard to watch, I was Mom's caregiver 24 / 7. The day I asked her " Mom do you remember my name?" She smiled and shook her head no, it broke my heart, she picked my name! Praying for You, and everyone on here tonight. Prayers for Peace, Love, Healing, and Guidance!

[@Carrie-3576]

I lost my mom in 2014, it has changed me to my core. I will never be the same ever again.

[@865allie]

Simply coming out and talking about your feelings and depression is MAJOR, Cullen. You don’t need to apologize for your feelings. You have a HUGE community of supporters behind you AND Katie. God put you two together for a reason. You are not alone. This too shall pass. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. Working from home TOGETHER, two toddlers, financial stress like the purchase of your new home and car is BEYOND stressful and WILL cause mental instability at times. I hope you are able to find ways to cope with these stormy moments soon!

[@TLifeDailyVlogs]

Jessica and I argue at random times and they blow up, but 5 minutes later we are laughing and hugging! My mom told me that the best advice she can give is "to NEVER go to bed angry at each other!" I LOVE MY MOM!!!

[@muffin2u63]

Cullen, there was a big change in you when ya'll had to move from the other house ya'll were in as well. You had stressed a lot with parting from that house & memories as well. I think a little more because of your dad had been there in the house with ya'll has well. I'm praying for peace of mind with you & your family. Also, maybe try counceling for you & Katie. A different opinion from the outside as well. Like you say, nobody's fault..life hands you a lot of things and they can be overwhelming. We are here for ya'll & love ya'll. I'm sitting here crying as you are tearing up speaking about it. Ya'll need time away together & sometimes being around each other constantly & working together is a lot. People I work with say they couldn't work with their spouses & stay married!

[@gangslat2140]

We Love You Cullen. ❤️

[@Strawblueberryum]

I have never watched a vlog more real and raw than this one!! Cullen, thank you for opening up and giving us more of inside view. You are not alone! Depression can hit at any time, and it can hit hard. Please reach out and seek up if you need to

[@curlygurl43]

27 years in June and let me tell you, the race is not given to the swift, trust me I know, and the fact that y'all are running this race together tells me that you're taking your time, that's half the battle-- you're running the race together. We've had some bad years, but I have had the best years of my life also, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Maybe consider someone going back to "traditional" work, to get some space between you, just a thought. I love your family, and despite the fact that you're Bama fans, hardcore, I have to believe that your love for each other is even harder and we fight for who and what we love. So, fight like it's the fight of your life, and you'll push through. Trust me. God has ordained your marriage and he makes no mistakes, right? And he promised to never leave or forsake us, so turn to him, and he will direct both of your paths, and you two will be alright. Love you all!

[@madelyne7974]

Thanks for the realness ❤️ I deal with depression and anxiety too. I'm thankful that you're an example of going through the good and bad together rather than giving up. You'll be in my prayers, and you'll get through!!

[@valspatorico8415]

I give you guys props! I tell my husband all the time that I have no idea how we will coexist when he retires. The weekends are enough. Being together all the time is not easy. ever. Anybody who says it is is lying.

[@morgan4474]

We are that way, too. Some couples don't need to seem to need alone time but I sure do.

[@LifesAWhirlwind]

Val.... I agree with you...I love my husband, but would not want to spend almost all day ,every day with him. I know some people could do it, but I don't think most can.

[@claudiabadia3605]

Val Spatorico my husband just retired this past June. Married for 38 years. Yes we can get on each other's nerve but not as bad as I thought it would be. I guess that's because I still work. Marriage can be a roller coaster ride.

[@cassidytracey8722]

So true . Cullen needs to go out and work, I think it would help him immensely and get him out of this Rutt. it will keep his mind busy and he will be physically tired and feel good going to bed. I realise he is busy with the kids, but sometimes that's not enough .

[@theheadhousehold1480]

I have followed yalls channel for years now. You had me in tears tonight because I too can relate to having a crappy mental state. You're not alone. Praying for you and Katie

[@VirtualSunshine]

I wonder if the answer is one or both of you working part time or volunteering somewhere. It seems like you’re looking for fulfilment that KZbin isn’t giving you. 🧡

[@AlessaM183]

I agree 100% with this. Having adult conversation with someone that isnt Katie or other family members will help a lot I think. Even if it’s only 2-3 hours a day. Same with Katie. It helps to get away from our spouse and kids. I can’t imsgine being home with my husband and kids all the time.

[@kristymarie6065]

VirtualSunshine I agree!!

[@lemasteryourlife1538]

I love the rawness that you let show. I watch everyday and my heart sank when I read the title of the vlog. It wasn't click bait. My husband even looked over at me after the video and said "well, that got really real". Lean on your support system and it is good that you acknowledge that there is work to be done

[@crystalscan2002]

money can't buy happyness

[@Carrie-3576]

He never said it does.

[@lindseyhenry4059]

But financial security does. . . (Happiness, no y)

[@amiecarney1220]

Thank you for showing real moments on this blog. It’s so easy to watch these family blogs and compare them to your own life and feel that you cannot add up. I think showing the real things that you guys are going through will make you even more successful and allow you to touch peoples life in a bigger way than you ever have before.

[@diamondslipper1]

Ever since you guys moved into that house you guys have a complicated life, you guys need to move from that house, like a new house where is a clean vibes. That house is no good.

[@AlessaM183]

The house isn’t the problem. It’s them as people. Imagine being home if your kids and spouse 24/7. They really don’t have adult contact outside each other and their family. They each need to get out of the house and “work” or volunteer. It’s health to get away from the house and people in it. And adult conversation that isn’t your spouse is essential for a balanced life.

[@fregiaj87]

A lot of us had a feeling something was going on - thank you for your transparency. It seems like a lot of KZbinrs are going thru this right now, and I'm glad most of you are so honest. It helps us realize that a KZbin lifestyle isn't so much different than the norm. I work from home and take care of our two year old - it gets so hard sometimes. Especially since last week we had 3,000 US jobs cut for the company I work for. Life is just crappy sometimes, but having a support system makes it bearable. We all love you guys and support you in whatever you need!

[@amberperez3005]

You're never alone. Thank you for being so open! Many of us are facing our own battles & the fact that you just shared that those battles are your own as well oddly helps. We all struggle, but we all can overcome too. Positive vibes your way. Everything will be okay 👌🏼

[@schep09]

Love how open and honest you are being! I’m sure it’s not easy putting it out there publicly. However, it’s real. It’s real life struggles that everyone goes thru. Depression, marriage struggles, life changes, we all go thru things at some point. My husband and I have an 18 month old son and are expecting our daughter in May and I hear you 100%! Life for us is great at the moment, or it should be. And yet we find ourselves arguing over small things, being short with each other, etc. I keep reminding myself this is all just a phase in life and we will work thru it. Prayers to you and Katie that this too will pass for you guy!

[@anoukruitenbeek7077]

Wow, I really admire your strength to talk about this! Just remember that you are not alone and you are not the only one going through this. I personally have been fighting anxiety for over two years. It got so bad that I barely left the house because I was so afraid. This is for anyone going through rough times: 'Sometimes it all gets a little too much, but you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up. And you don't have to been afraid because we are all the same and we know that sometimes it gets a little too much' ❤❤

[@robbinrussell1757]

I lost my mom 10 years ago, and my brother 12 years ago and it took me a long time to not be depressed all the time. If not for anti-depression meds I would still be stuck.. I am still sad and miss my mom everyday but it is easier to live life. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Love watching your kids grow. I have been watching for all most 3 years.

[@cortney2685]

I have a lot of things that have happened to me the past few days/week that especially tonight it just seems to be piling on me more and more. I definitely understand depression. I also have physical disabilities I have to deal with on a daily basis on top of everything else. You guys are honestly my favorite KZbin family and just watching y'all brings a smile to my face when sometimes nothing else that day does. I don't know if you guys will ever understand how much you've helped me each day! Keep doing what you guys are doing, I know you and Katie will be just fine when all is said and done! I truly love you guys!

[@apriltownsend8463]

You guys need some date time. Serious date time. No camera. No phone unless someone calls you. I know MG goes to GDD, but you still have Brooks with you all the time and that's still stressful when you're trying to work. Also each of you DO need some alone time apart even if it's her going on some errands by herself or you going and doing your errands alone. Her go get her nails done and you go get a hair cut but do it completely alone. As far as the "not calling mom enough" goes, when I was growing up we had 2 "family days" a week. We went to my mom's parents on Thursday nights for dinner and went to my dad's parents on Sunday morning for breakfast every week. Start scheduling something like that and don't wait until holidays or for someone to need something to go visit, just go. Praying for all of you!

[@yecal00]

You have no idea how much I needed this video tonight. Earlier I had a heart to heart with my mom and realized I needed to get help with my depression and get healthy... I have been self sabotaging and it’s got to stop. I love y’all. I have been watching since K was pregnant with MG, so y’all feel like my family and even though I am at a different spot in life than you, it helps to know I am not alone.

[@jessicaroberts1273]

Cullen, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being so raw and uncut about your emotions and struggles, I know personally how difficult it is to be dealing with depression and how lost you can feel at times, like there's no possible way it can get better. But each and every day you wake up is a new day to be able to make things better. Keeping you, Katie , Macey Gaines & Brooks in my thoughts. :)

[@marydavis2946]

I respect your honesty about your situation, I too suffer from depression. I completely understand what you mean when you question why you are unhappy when you have a great life. I am blessed with a wonderful family, a home, a job... but life is hard and stressful!! A quote that helps me is- "Just because you have a bad day, week, month, or year doesn't mean you have a bad life." Cullen and Katie~ you are a beautiful example of a supportive, loving, and caring couple. You will get through this rough patch together and be stronger because of it. You are in my prayers. 💟

[@mirandaperry4526]

This vlog left me in tears as I have realized to myself that I am also dealing with some depression. My husband and I just had a huge argument the other night that honestly shouldn't of even been an argument, but my depression was taking over. Thank you for being honest. It truly helped me today. ❤️

[@nancypeteja6560]

I was going thru a rough time in my life, I had a hard time handling stuff emtionally, so I had to get help with medicine and it really helped. It's not a bad thing. Life happens and sometimes we need help to maneuver thru it. Lean on your Faith, turn to God, read his Word and get help medically if necessary. Y'all will be okay. Take a deep breath, think positive, and and remember 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a!! God Bless.

[@nancypeteja6560]

I try to pick my "positives" each day. Wether it is one or a few and if it is small or big (i.e. eating an apple or salad, watching butterflies or bees, cleaning up my kitchen...) and each day is a NEW beginning. I try!!☺

[@lauriestewart3700]

Awww! I'm sorry things are not wonderful right now. I suffer from depression and anxiety myself. It can make your actions, comments and thoughts so unpredictable. Talking things out in therapy with a non involved bystander could be the best thing for you both. God bless you and you're in my prayers ❤

[@mallykat1990]

As someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, I thank you, Cullen, for opening up about your struggle with it. Your mental health is a very important thing so don’t ignore it. Talk to someone whether it be a counselor, therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or even just a friend. The important thing is to talk. No one is perfect and no marriage is perfect. Everyone has their peaks and valleys. I think that it makes things stronger and I know that you and Katie will come out even stronger than you have ever been as parents, spouses, and even friends. Thank for opening up.

[@flamingobabe2011]

Cullen, thank you for being so open and honest. I myself at 22 had a similar expierence, life just crept up on me. I had just kept busy and not dealt with what was really going on. My grandma got dementia and had to be put in a nursing home, I lost 2 uncles in 3&1/2 months both to pancreatic cancer, I lost my family dog (aka as an only child the dog I called my brother) and I was dealing with a breakup of my 5 year relationship. I started dealing with panic attacks again, which I hadn't had since I was 17. I also was and am still dealing with depression. It can be hard to handle at times. But more power to you for admitting you felt off.

[@Shazel445]

Thank you for you're honesty. It is refreshing in a world of "perfect" youtube family vloggers. I think it's needed too because pretending everything is perfect only makes the situation harder and more isolating. Good luck to you two. I hope you both get the help you need, separately and together.

[@francoisandjackievlogs5949]

Wow. Cullen, I'm so proud of you for being honest and real. Thank you! I dealt with depression in 2017 and the best advice I could give you is to pray that God leads you to the right therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist and GO for therapy. It's not for crazy people, it doesn't mean you're weak and it doesn't mean that you don't trust God. It changed my life and I feel so much more equipped to deal with life. We get experts to help us with everything else in our lives, why not with the emotional stuff?!? You don't have to figure this out by yourselves. It will take SO much pressure off you guys. But whatever you decide, I will DEFINITELY pray for you and continue to support you. You guys are awesome KZbinrs and so talented, keep going, but know that we are here for you if you need a break. Jackie from TheUpside

[@xo0sainty0ox]

You’re not alone in this. I was diagnosed with endogenous depression when I was 15/16 (I am now 30). Literally anything can set off a ‘bad day’ and there is usually no warnings. Just know we’re all here for you both and you both will work through it ❤️

[@terriny76]

Much love to you and Katie!!! Sending tons of prayers!! Take some time off for you, sometimes it’s needed more then you know. All of us will be here whenever you need us!! Love you guys!!

[@annlyp6303]

I'm glad you talked about this, Cullen. I think a lot of people go through this, I definitely have. I feel like I am currently in it, it's hard going through it on your own, and sigh, I think it was also attached to a relationship, which I unfortunately had to break (because of outside issues, I was not willing to).... it's a battle. Every day is a battle and each day you have to win. Your soldiers are tired and under horrible conditions but you fight. You must. That's what I keep telling myself. I hope one day to have a wonderful husband and someone who I can be with and who loves me and is willing to work out the issues that he or we might be facing. Prayers are definitely going your way, Cullen and Katie. Love you guys a lot.

[@jessiekernodle6961]

I’m glad you are willing to be so transparent. Relationships will never be perfect because you are bringing two imperfect people together. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for several years. It’s so hard to get through the day on a regular basis. Depression doesn’t pick and choose people, so you don’t ever need to defend yourself. Know you have a whole group of people praying for you. Know that I will be praying for you. I sincerely hope things get better.

[@ElliMasonMusic]

Oh Cullen, I could always tell in certain vlogs and I just felt so much for you. I'm so glad you're putting a name to it now so you can get better. You can do this. You are enough and you are worth it.

[@MyHeartStrings55]

Hello, i have been watching your vlogs for a couple of years. I was diagnosed with clinical depression many years ago. There was a lot of twist and turns before i got to where i am today. Please, stay strong and know that you and your family and your marriage can survive. The arguments that build up is just a part of marriage. My current husband and i do things like that sometimes. We pray and our faith keeps us together. I will pray for you and your family because i know you can do this. Please do not feel bad about rambling it gets the feelings out . As a stranger i love you and your family i will pray for your depression i know how it feels. Take Care and God Bless. Sherry in Texas

[@TheHopeShed]

Praying for you guys! I completely understand What you’re going through... the man that raised me, my papaw, passed away recently and I’ve never been the same! But things do eventually get better ❤️

[@trishlawrence396]

Praying for y’all! Thanks soooo much for your honesty and transparency. I know that feels vulnerable. Glad y’all are going to Church and hopefully being refueled by the Lord. Marriage and parenting is so tough, and literally cannot be done well without the Lord taking over.

[@kelsey358]

I’ve been a silent viewer for over 4 years now and I have to say I have so much respect for you both! I’ve been with my husband for 10 years (married for 5 of them) and there’s been trials and sadly both of us have gone through periods of depression putting a lot of strain on our marriage and life in general. We have gotten through those times with lots of prayers and doing a couples daily devotional. I think it’s the part of marriage that’s not talked about! People want to portray their marriage as perfect even if it’s not and the fact you guys have put it out there is so brave! I will be praying for you guys!

[@abbyc.7093]

Depression is so hard. I’m sorry you are dealing with it. I pray that you can find peace and healing. Also, just because you work from home does not mean that you don’t work hard. Working from home and being together every second makes it even harder. Praying for your family.

[@jks61111]

Praying for you two.... there will be a million comments about what to try or how to change... but these struggles are given to you in these specific moments on purpose, as part of HIS elaborate plan. Stick together, TRUST in, CLING to, and RELY on HIM!

[@nicolestanbaugh9498]

Hey Cullen! I found you and Katies channel when Gaines was born, my Dad was actually battling stage 4 colon cancer at 39, I would watch your channel for distraction because your family has such a great sense of humor! No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect , I will definitely keep watching your channel through thick and thin! I love you guys ❤

[@dailydose_ofstupidity2587]

Cullen my heart breaks for you to see you like this. I get depression and feelings of worthlessness but the way you guys are sharing is so much more helpful to the world than challenges and perfection and daily Vlogs! Praying for you!!!! Keep showing us more of the real please!!!! Helps me relate so much better

[@jessjay423]

Wow, Cullen! Thank you for being so honest and open with all you're going thru. I'm so sorry & I hope everything will get better soon. I'll keep your family in my prayers. One day at a time & prayer! Patience with each other & thinking before you speak will help. I know it's easier said than done. GOD continue to bless you all & remember HE knows your needs and will definitely fulfill. Prayers are definitely going your way! Sending you all hugs and love from Texas ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@LifeAsAYoungMarried]

Prayers to your family! Marriage, parenthood is a journey! My husband and I have been there with 3 kiddos 4 and under. It gets better, this season of life gets easier, just have to ride the wave. My best advice to is to take care of yourselves individually. It’s hard to be the best spouse, parent, employee when you’re personally unhappy with yourself. All my love!

[@Izzy_Walker]

Depression after a loss is something I'm unfortunately very familiar with. I've always been expected to be the strong one...because...well....I always was. After the loss of my spouse, then my brother, and then my mother, I just kept on with things as they were. Staying "happy" and strong for the kids. Showing no negative emotions so that nobody had to feel sorry for me. It's a terrible thing to do and I wish someone would have told me it's ok to not be ok. I feel like I never really properly grieved and it all just hit me like a ton of bricks one day. I'm still working through it and I'm finding that talking more openly about it has been a huge help. BIG HUGS to you,Cullen. It's ok to not be ok!

[@Ceisda04]

Sending prayers. You've both been through so much in such a short time. Take time for yourselves as individuals and as a couple. You're not the first and won't be the last to go through this. My hubby and I have been married 29 yrs and we've gone through these patches but we've always found our way back together. You've got this! Sending you both my love.

[@missychelle33]

Every couple argues- it’s normal- some consider it healthy. What I hear you saying is that giving up, throwing in the towel, or calling it a day is not an option and that’s wonderful. You two are beyond made for each other and you need to work on it- a marriage is work- hard hard daily work. If you let it suffer everything in your life suffers too. Unfortunately. You have to keep those key relationships working. You two can do it, I know you can, and I know you will. ❤️ I’ve suffered from depression since around 2003- it’s horrendous. It creeps up on you and then one day you finally admit it. It’s also a cycle- some are lucky to break it and get out of it, and some stay in it- like me. You think you are doing really well and you deny it for a while but it always seems to come creeping back. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone- i find that to be the most helpful. It’s okay to reach out, I also think you have never really grieved your fathers passing and maybe you need to take some time and actually do that for you. It won’t be easy but it may set you free. Don’t hold onto things. Of course that grief will always be with you- he’s your dad, but it may not cause a downward spiral in your life. Love you both- and support you through it all. We are all behind you and beside you 💗💗💗

[@alexandranakvosas3188]

Thank you for sharing. Its hard when you see seemingly happy people everyday and you cant relate and you feel alone. Thank you for being real.

[@denahanson9690]

We all love you guys and stand behind y’all! No marriage is perfect and certainly takes work and y’all can do it!! Sending prayers y’all’s way for strength to get through this rough patch.

[@kathleenjbazan5563]

Cullen, the fact that you are communicating your thoughts and feelings to us is huge. The fact that you’re opening up and being vulnerable is a huge step in the right direction. Most marriages go through this, I know we did when we had an 18 month old and a three year old. Please look into antidepressants and maybe individuals or couples counseling. Both things saved my life. Prayers for you and family.

[@elliotelliott901]

THANK YOU GUYS for sharing these deeply personal issues that many of us go through! I cannot imagine having all the added stress of running a channel on top of everyday life.....but you can get through it! ((((((((hugs))))))))

[@laurensanchez1624]

I love yalls channel, yesterday my grandpa died and it honestly has taken a huge toll on me. My grandpa basically raised me growing up, he was a father figure to me because I never had my dad and now it’s like a piece of me has been ripped out, I keep crying and trying to stay positive but it’s truly so hard. The only thing keeping me positive is my one year old son. Your not alone and I know neither am I, I just can’t handle death it’s the hardest thing in the world.

[@sllilflower]

Understand completely, Cullen. Things change so much after having kids. Those that don’t have kids don’t get it and never will. Being a SAHM really gets me down. I’m with my kids 24/7...no family or friends near by to just say “hey I need a break” hubby works his ass off everyday. I’m so thankful for that. It sucks when you feel more like roommates than husband and wife. I love him dearly. We aren’t perfect. I’ve been getting in to daily devotionals and writing in a journal. It’s helped a lot. I know some people may disagree but essentials oils help a lot. Praying for you Cullen and Katie. It’s like I’m you and my husband is Katie. So many positive comments on here. All the ones with verses from the Bible, go read them. They help a lot. Hugs!

[@michelleboyce6405]

My love, thoughts are prayers for you guys are being sent from here. I am on a journey with Anxiety and Depression myself and it is hard, Please don't blame yourselves for that suffering. I hope you guys find your way back to happiness in whatever way that seems to end up in. Lots of love to you all

[@MykOrtiz]

You guys are some amazing people. Everyone goes through this. I like the way you explained this, out of 50 years, if two are bad, you lived a successful relationship.

[@HPandOTHlove]

It takes a lot of courage to be able to speak so openly and honestly to not only those closest to you but to many people you don’t know Cullen 💜 sending love, support, and prayers 💕

[@katievancampen]

Marriage is hard! My husband and I have been married for 10 years and despite how much you LOVE someone, you still have to work at it. 3 kids and a decade into this, and we’re not experts... the seasons of life are constantly challenging all of us. You’ll get through it, together. All the prayers in the world for y’all!

[@newenglandcoast-b4p]

During your candid share Cullen, I found myself nodding my head upside down in agreement!! I, too have been there, it's part of life and it SUCKS while you are deep in it!! You all have had a LOT of heavy stuff in the past few years, and it has a way of catching up to you. It is SO normal, but it is important to not deny it, stuff it and "put on a happy face". You have had two little ones, moved, your Dad passed and all the pressures on a husband/wife, brother. sister, son, Dad/Mom, I won't go on, you get it. Maybe talk to a minister? Or someone else you trust. I eventually ended up having to take some medication, with professional help. Each is different. God bless you all, take the time for self care. Prayers coming your way. God bless!

[@saralaw4711]

I just found y'alls channel this morning, and immediately subscribed. Depression is so terrible. I'm a 35 year old married mama, with a ten year old son. I've struggled with severe depression since I was 19 years old. It has been a true struggle. The best advice I can give you is to lean on your family. Hug your wife. Talk about how you're feeling, even though it's hard. And, each morning try writing down 5 things that you're grateful for, and keep it with you throughout the day, as a reminder. My heart goes out to y'all, and I'm sending you much love and positive vibes from, Northern California 💚 hang in there!!

[@SnapesPrincess4]

Cullen, this totally breaks my heart to hear!! I am so sorry you are feeling this way, and that you both haven't been happy. I will most definitely be lifting you guys up in prayer!! 💚💜💛 Also, always try to remember if He brings you to it He will get you through it. Lean on Him as much as you need to & lay it all at His feet. He says come ye all who are weary and I will give you rest!!

[@sarahandrea7232]

Hey y'all. I've been watching you for a while and I love you and your videos. I love how you keep it real with everyone. I struggle with a lot of anxiety and depression from the loss of my brothers. Your videos always make me smile. We all have rough times in life and I appreciate you sharing your life with us. All I can say is you aren't alone. Hold on pain ends.. Stay strong. Love yall😘

[@chrisrinker5254]

Thank you for being open and honest and showing us you are real like the rest of us. I pray for you both in your marriage, in your family life, and your business life. Never give up. Good things are meant to be fixed, not tossed away. Keep on it!

[@its_katiemae]

THIS. This is why I love y'all. You are so real, open, and honest with us. "I will be there through the good time and I will be there through the bad." I have been here with you guys since way back. I'm not leaving. Bad times come and bad times go. Just know you're not alone! So many people deal with depression. If you feel you need help PLEASE do not be afraid to get help. Sometimes this can be meditation, medication, or therapy. Talking to someone who is NOT in the middle of all of it with you can really help (I have been there, and still am). We all love you guys! Prayers your way.

[@elisegaynor4406]

Cullen it takes a lot to be real especially on such a large platform you have. You guys have always been my favourite couple because of the real ness and the honesty you share. Love you guys!!!

[@mistirupe219]

I think it so amazing that you had the strength to do that ending. I'm sure you helped many people. I can tell how deep your love for Katie. If life was easy it wouldn't make us the people we are. You both are great people. It will get better. Love you guys.

[@destiny9500]

Hugs to you! #2 really threw my husband and I for a loop. Both of us battling something fierce. The extra date nights really help!

[@suzannahbrownsea1973]

You guys have been through so much the last few years and KZbin isn't making things any easier x there's so much pressure to have videos up as much as possible and it's not even about the content you want to put on it about keeping up with what everyone else wants on social media x so many people I watch are feeling the strain x and depression sucks and it's heartbreaking knowing you're having to cope with it x just take each day as it comes and don't apologise for it x we're all here for all of you guys x sending love and hugs from the UK x

[@TheRussellFamLife]

Thanks so much for being truthful and open!!! I am so so sorry that you are dealing with depression I am definitely PRAYING For you! We ALL go through things in our marriage just hold on and don’t give up!

[@dawnmachonis7813]

Cullen, my heart was breaking for you as you were talking because I can relate to that depression, that pain. You can get through this together. Keeping you all in prayer.

[@snengelman]

I love your honesty. Thank you for that. I am 30, I had two kids under two years and the depression is REAL. Not just ppd either. Just life in general and trying to balance all aspects of it seems to be a daily failing feat. I feel for you and can relate so much. ❤️

[@amypayne6229]

Prayers for you and your family through this time in your life. This vlog was real and will touch a lot of people. Don't feel like you have to defend yourself for working from home....I was off with my ONE child for almost 3wks during the holidays and I couldn't wait to get back to work and get around a bunch of grownups and away from my house. Working from home I think would take way more energy and thumbs up to you for making it day by day doing it.

[@heathersims5234]

Our last year has been a struggle!! We have been through a lot as a couple and been through exactly all you are talking about. We have been together 12 years now and this was the worst. It will get better you just have to work for it! Love is not a fight but worth fighting for! Love you guys!!

[@lisavess3093]

Thank you so much for sharing bc sometimes you tubers tend to come off as “perfect.” I suffer from depression so I know what you’re saying.. I’ve been married 23 years and your spouse isn’t always going to be your favorite person. There’s going to be times that you dislike each other. But that’s normal!! Trust me!! Y’all are going to be fine.

[@daniellegossman5600]

Marriage is hard! My first six years were easy, the last 4-5 years have been challenging. You just do the best you can. It’s a long hard road to share with another person and have responsibilities with. Thinking of you guys as you GROW through this season.

[@itskokoasshow9898]

I'm proud of you. It takes a lot to pour your heart out like that. Yal are one of the first families I ever subscribed to because I could feel the love and how real it was. I wish I had advice on what to do in your marraige but I don't. All I can say is I'm praying for yal and I believe in your marraige. Hugs