How Ex Mennonite was Blamed & Shamed for Her Perpetrators’ Actions

[@michelleh2689]

I think, for a girl who said, " I didn't want to fall in love with people," you sure did make a whole bunch of people, fall in love with you! Much love ❤️

[@Lifeloveandcats]

I know it's hard to shake those haters off but please know that you have been an inspiration to so many.

[@bernadetteconsilio]

I love Rachel! She’s been through SO much which is unbelievable!! She is to be commended for her bravery and resilience ‼️‼️🐝

[@ThePhoenixLion]

So sorry that you felt judged. It stood out to me that 95% of the comments were supportive, but the reactions of those negative comments felt as heavy as 200% or more than the comments. To me it seemed that you still have a lot of healing to do. You're very brave to take on that journey. Don't let others dictate how and how fast that journey should be.

[@bernadetteconsilio]

To whoever said you don’t look or talk like a traumatized person is ridiculous! We are all different so we all look and talk differently! Besides that person is not very intuitive because I saw your trauma! RRRRRRGGGG! Trolls!

[@amanwell3619]

I just got to that part in the video. Omg! Not okay!

[@VectorRabbit]

You can't fix stupid 🤦‍♀

[@graceyoung3771]

I can tell Rachel has been touched by the "true" Holy Spirit not just the spirit of religion which is often guided by guilt, condemnation, and works. Keep up your pure Spirit Rachel! You're awesome.

[@mienafriggstad3360]

🙏

[@ediegeb4051]

You are resilient! You are brave! You are strong! Well spoken . Darkness hate light... you brought light for all the darkness you had gone thru. Of course dark people gonna hate... keep on shinning... keep on shining... keep on shining Rachel!! We love you. Much love to you.

[@rozannmoake8146]

17:50 it just melts my heart to see you snuggle with your dog. You can’t snuggle like that without feeling loved and I’m so glad that you have that now. I hope you have a lot more than that but I’m just so glad that you have that comfort.

[@daniellepyle5844]

So glad you came back Rachel. So brave! Blessing be upon you.

[@AshleyMills-eq6uu]

This girl is a genuine inspiration. I appreciate your vulnerability.

[@Mrs_Awili]

Thanks for sharing Rachel! I used to work with you in Holmes co. Just wanted to clarify that the man you spoke of that abused boys in Haiti- he is paying for his crimes in jail as we speak. It sounded like you said the judge gave him mercy for his repentance. I'm glad to have finally heard your entire story after all these years.

[@rachelnicolecarter6254]

I believe I said the church asked the judge to give him mercy. And yes he is currently in prison serving 9 years for his crimes against minors in Ohio.

[@louhortonsculpture]

Planting onions to get to the other side of trauma is very relatable! 🤗

[@elbeachy]

Thank you for sharing your heart Rachel! I’ve listened to all three of your episodes. I found it interesting because I’m an ex-Beachy Amish gal from Iowa! And as my name indicates, I got married to a Beachy! 😂 My husband and I left that group where I grew up, over 30 years ago. We now attend a non-denominational church in the same area. I found your description of all the different types of Mennonite and Amish so interesting to me and it rings true with what I know. I’m sorry you went through so much pain and hardship in these groups. I was blessed and did not go through all the things you did! We left for other reasons. Leaving was still very painful because of how hard it was on my family and friends. Thankfully we have a great relationships with most everyone now and I’m so thankful!

[@mienafriggstad3360]

🙏

[@slbarbieri1725]

Rachel is such an absolutely amazing woman! Her resilience is so admirable, and I'm so glad that she was able to not only survive but now thrive in adulthood! I wish her all the best!

[@kelliannawebb5738]

Continue to speak out about your story! Stay strong

[@tdsollog]

Thank you for continuing to lift up the voices that need amplifying. ❤

[@elin2962]

Rachel is easy my favorite interviwe yet❤❤ She is just such a light and so incredebly strong❤ And im honored to hear her story❤❤❤

[@whitesalamander]

Rachel restores my faith in humanity👏

[@lizzie1592]

I'm so sorry you got rude comments. You don't deserve that. Thank you for sharing your story 💕

[@tonilizama3739]

You are so brave to share your story. Please please don’t let the negative people get to you. You are doing good things by talking about your experiences. You show people they are not alone. You did not deserve anything that happened to you. I hope you find peace and happiness ❤

[@justme...5927]

She's back! I love her,such a beautiful soul 💖 I know how hard it is to tell your story. Please take care of yourself.

[@jaccaj1626]

Darn. I'm an hour late☹️ Would've loved to say hi! 👋 So nice to hear from Rachel again🙂 The days are always the darkest before dawn. You deserve the best life has to offer🤗 Best wishes to you, dearie❣️

[@Unraveledfromculttoclarity]

Rachel that means so much that you said that though because I get that a lot too. Well oh you’re too happy to be a victim you always looked happy and it’s like I was forced to be all the time around everyone. And it’s crazy when some people don’t want to learn about your trauma-and they just want to judge anyway. I definitely get down on myself a lot so it means a lot because truly everyone deals with trauma in their own way and it doesn’t make our traumas any less valid❤

[@sarahissersohn5495]

I would love to see so much more education around the diversity of genuine human trauma responses! People know about ‘fight or flight’, but even ‘freeze’ is not nearly so widely acknowledged, let alone ‘tend and befriend’, which is almost unheard of, despite it being SUCH a widespread reaction, especially among girls and women, bc of the heavy-handed gendered socialization we are raised under, whether secular, religious, or somewhere in between, if we grew up anywhere in the US.

[@Rodal0210]

Rachel you are strong! through your testimony I have found a new appreciation for my own life. Keep on smiling :D

[@nevapetersheim3351]

Rachel thank you so much for sharing your story ❤😢 !!! I'm sooo sorry for all the hurt and pain you had to go through 😭 ♥️ . We are also ex old order Amish we left 5 years after we got married ♥️ we are still shunned and they said we will always be because I don't wear a head covering and I wear jeans 😂 but that's ok I'm free in Christ now we still thank God for getting us out of that cult 🤗🥰!!! And yes the things you shared sound way to familiar .... It's so frustrating how they seem to be above the actual law just because they are Amish 😡!!! I hurt so much listening to your story 😭 how I would have wanted to wrap my arms around you and help you give you a safe place to stay 🥰 and show you true unconditional love that can only come from Christ ♥️ Never give up Rachel keep going You are Beautiful inside and out may God bless you on your journey ❤ I d love to meet you in person sometime we d have a lot in common ♥️we live in Wayne county Ohio ! Sometime s I think we still live to close to the Amish community 🙈😜lol

[@Wanda-Mae]

What you mentioned about trauma popping up years after or being triggered years after hit me hard. I'm 53 and, although I've never been in a cult such as this, I've experienced extensive childhood abuse. I took pride in the fact I was a "normal" person despite it all. I was a wife and a good mother, held a job, etc. But since becoming an empty nester a year ago, I lost my focus of the last 28 years and now I'm finding I'm depressed and feeling all those things I kept at bay to focus on my kids' lives. And now I feel like I'm feeling sorry for myself by letting it enter my life and don't see the point at this age to deal with it. What's the point? Anyway, Sorry for long post, I have watched all of your broadcasts and think you are very compassionate and non judgemental and I appreciate all the people bearing their souls, basically. Thank you.❤

[@sarahissersohn5495]

There’s always a point in working on healing IMO. The thing is, your brain is much wiser now, than it was then. So, you’re bringing a totally different tool kit to the job, now. Especially for those of us who experienced childhood trauma, brain development can take SO many years to even become completed. You deserve to feel as much better as is reasonably possible- you might be able to experience a whole new era - Frank Lloyd Wright did most of his most iconic works when he was in his 80’s! In the Lakota tradition, people aren’t considered fully adults until they turn 52. You don’t have to do it alone, either- you don’t HAVE to do it at all, but I hope you choose to find a therapist who makes you feel safe, seen, and encouraged. I’m rooting for you 💜⚡️

[@angelcake6869]

it is never too late to heal ❤️

[@wendychavez5348]

This morning, a coworker said, "Wendy, I don't think anyone can know all the things you've gone through! and you never complain!" I actually do complain, and often to her, though that's not what she specifically meant. Trauma affects each of us differently, and the fact that you absorb your trauma well, or process it effectively, or not, is nobody's business. You are an amazing human being; that's all that matters to me. Not whether you "look traumatized." Thank you for sharing your trauma with us, and showing us that it is survivable.

[@laurenl720]

You are so brave Rachel. ❤ so sry you got rude comments on your videos. Everyone responds differently to trauma, there isn’t a certain look or certain way people respond. It takes a lot of strength to reach out.

[@amanwell3619]

You are amazing Rachel! There are wayyyyy many more people who love you than those who criticize you. I just heard the part where you shared that someone had the audacity to say you don't look abused! I 💯 agree with everything you said subsequently. Trauma & survival mode looks different on everyone. People are ignorant and judge what they don't understand. Keep sharing your story and speaking your truth. You are truly beautiful inside and out. ❤

[@rozannmoake8146]

1:02:36 amazing Shalise! I love that she says that you check in with the people who come on your show and talk them through things at the end of their interviews and make sure they’re ok.

[@tinathelasttwenty1249]

When will people just believe in human rights 🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️

[@sarahpinho1114]

I understand Rachel, because my own family and friends dont believe my experience either and have treated me so terribly I no longer have contact, I relate to how lonely and depressing it feels,..then when I have better days it gives me hope

[@laraoreski3417]

Rachel's baaack! Welcome back dear! Thank you so so much for sharing your story!❤🎉

[@music54186]

Thank you for sharing again! We really appreciate you and I wish you the absolute best. I also people please when I'm nervous, you are so valid for your natural reactions! ❤ hope you continue to grow into the beautiful person you are!!

[@amandamusic5746]

When I hear stories about the Mennonite and Amish, it makes me want to stop purchasing from them because I don't know if I'm supporting an abuser or not. And I would have taken the "you don't looks traumatized" as a compliment! Adds a tic mark in the "made it" column.

[@Wendy-jb4cv]

I am new to this channel. Love what you do. Have you ever done a program on FGM? I was shocked to find so many women in this country don't know it exists. They often think I am making it up. I think women everywhere need to know. It's the only way to fight it!

[@sarahissersohn5495]

Very true! One of my best friends when I went back to school and my daughter was a baby, was married to a man from Egypt, and she had to talk him out of having their daughter “cut”- he wasn’t being malicious either; he was super casual about it, like, it’s just a little cut; no big deal, and it’ll keep her from getting so wild, once she’s a teenager”- and this was an hour east of San Francisco, California! It’s very real.

[@michele-mo2rq]

Thank you 🙏 for sharing. What a strong, articulate, intelligent and woman! Sending you love ❤️ and gratitude to you.

[@cheryleaston6820]

Thank you Rachel for sharing your story.

[@deannapritchard6660]

Shelise, have you had a conversation with the creators of WOMEN TALKING. I would love to hear the back-story to it.

[@janiceyoder621]

As a mom of girls, I believe 100% that we need to teach our children, especially the girls, to speak up if something happens to make them feel uncomfortable. They need to tell a teacher, their mom, someone that this person or situation doesn't make them feel safe. If needed, they may kick a boy in his privates. I've never been SA to my knowledge but I can feel when something is off. I will tell my children that certain people are not safe for them to be around and they listen.

[@sgriffiths601]

So informative

[@lucillecooper3600]

Rachael dear...you are brave and true..

[@donnag.3611]

Rachel, I appreciate your story so much! I hope we see you again! God bless you! HE is NOT RELIGION AS YOU SO WELL KNOW!

[@sarahissersohn5495]

We really need more education around the diversity of human trauma responses! Maybe you could have some mental health professionals on to talk about it, Shelise?

[@katherinecollins4685]

Informative video

[@deannapritchard6660]

Shelise, you glow in orange!

[@candynewton4945]

Belinda Womack has a fantastic course with website School of Spiritual Evolution that has helped many overcome trauma that I have attended for almost a year. Yes I highly recommend it for religious interpretations that keep minds trapped to open. Thank you for sharing your amazing recovery. Thank you for the podcast, it is welcomed in this age. 😂❤🙏

[@kristinmaguireDeadhead65]

It's SO unfortunate that she chose to flee to those religious communities. They are incapable of giving any kind of help in her situation or one like it....only harm.

[@robinnoble5409]

Shelise, all-star rambler!!! Lol❤

[@sarahpinho1114]

I have a daughter named Rachel, beautiful name

[@gildamanu2585]

Early gang🎉

[@mienafriggstad3360]

🙏

[@phoenixstarseed8826]

❤

[@kriegera69]

I believe in God and His plan for salvation but I will say i think men/people have gotten religion so wrong. From mega churches to cults. And I also have never been able to reconcile the absence of God’s help when His children cry out. It’s crushing

[@tbrteatime5443]

I want to watch this so bad but the lag and garbled audio is terrible

[@powderandpaint14]

Lots of parts of it was still clear.

[@halfatheory]

unpopular opinion and hot take-- this would make an interesting horror movie, where a 💀er moves into a super religious community. we know the 💀er, everyone does, but one by one they off a person and the whole community just says "well, they repented so move on" but every six weeks someone is napped and tortured and/or ☠. protagonist says screw this and tries to do something about it, only to get ousted for not being forgiving. then movie ends with 💀er still being in the community and protagonist being sent to correctional camp because jesus...

[@bonebusterpnw7181]

I wonder if cult to consciousness does any kind of fact checking before airing these "facts" to the whole world ?

[@crassssshlee9350]

I don’t feel like anything is being presented as ‘fact’. These are peoples experiences of organised groups. How would they be fact checked? Especially when this kind of abuse is covered up so regularly!

[@AJansenNL]

Do you say that about all guests or only about those whose stories make you uncomfortable. Are you this sceptical about stories that confirm your biases?

[@catlady5381]

No one is presenting hard facts. It’s called telling life stories and experiences in a safe space. If someone’s stories make you uncomfortable, maybe check yourself.

[@sarahissersohn5495]

So, anecdotal evidence is also accepted as evidence; it’s just obviously of a different standard than evidence that’s been tested in a third party laboratory. Lived experiences can not be disproven by others, by the very nature of what they are. True confidence in one’s ideology can be evidenced by not feeling threatened by, or defensive about, other people expressing contrary opinions. If you’re that confident, why does it matter what others are saying???

[@bonebusterpnw7181]

Interesting that a desire for truth is seen as a bad thing, I guess some soul searching is needed by those that believe the truth don't matter !