Cumtown: the George Floyd Derek Chauvin Case

[@wal_pur_gis]

Speak a little Chinese for them Derek

[@Tunkkis]

"Shit, you kill a mothafucka on camera, you can at the very least speak a lil' Chinese!"

[@ericl3931]

Shit makes me scream laugh

[@saiftama]

Shit, you killed a mf on camera

[@rucotomo]

💀💀💀

[@hardleftturn7274]

8:50

[@carlanderton3rd]

Stav desperately tossing obstacles in a futile attempt to stop the freight train that is Nick Mullen's mind

[@iwillheadlockyournan731]

Truly what he bought to the pod

[@felixmikael9495]

A cumtown fan dating a sista, god help her.

[@stopculture]

It’s all part of the dynamic. Him pumping the brakes elevated nicks jokes

[@yermm]

It's hard being a straight man

[@callmedful]

A train full of racism and gay sex

[@jakeypoo123]

I’ve heard this clip so many times and still “may the best man win” makes me cry laughing.

[@justinborland3325]

The best man kinda already won. I mean, where’s George Floyd now? Losertown, that’s where

[@EnteiFled]

​@@justinborland3325 took a trip to bitetown

[@penguano5514]

​@@EnteiFledsee you later alligator

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

@@EnteiFled Is that anywhere near Havre De Grace, where Pepsi is bottled as we all know?

[@GeneralSamov]

@@justinborland3325 You could argue he's in martyrtown, forever. Meanwhile Chauvinist is getting stabbed in prison.

[@insanedegeneratemoron9794]

A George Floyd in his own right

[@pipn9090]

lmaooo hell yea dude

[@jacobosullivan2018]

Well cuz he's a *BLEEP*

[@jewtubesucks666]

George Floyds come in every color

[@NoPe-n1j]

Doing *rhymes??*

[@drew4064]

The only way to distract Nick from racism is to get him thinking about gay sex

[@Cinerary]

You can still be racist thinking about gay sex. It’s actually quite common in the gay community. Also I’m gay

[@truwu8177]

we're the same person

[@MarcosElMalo2]

Nick wanted to help Derek Chauvin get off.

[@JoeyLocke414]

Adam feeds this bit more than anyone would like to admit

[@dogma7346]

GO HEAD SPEAK A LIL CHINESE FOR EM DEREK

[@drunkenmmamaster419]

Adam low key funny AF 😂

[@questisinthejam]

@@drunkenmmamaster419highkey

[@eight_hundred_eighteen]

When he is out of nowhere, just yells. "My client!"

[@DreIsGoneFission]

I didn’t know that a bug could feed a bit

[@patrickharper-aucoin4413]

COULD A RACIST MAN DO THIS?!

[@brimple]

speak a lil chinese for em derek

[@hunterstone2182]

Sheeet you can kill a man on camera but can't speak Chinese?

[@sdk9443]

@@brimple blow these people’s mentalities

[@pandavelli8176]

Educate these MF’s, drop some Swahili on them bruthas

[@southerndiscomfort171]

don’t be shy now, you killed a motherfucker on camera

[@Lord_Pilaf]

"Motion to sike that from the record"

[@lmackenzie9198]

“You could at the very least speak a little Chinese!” is one of the funniest fucking things

[@DanZupanc]

shiiit you killed a mothafucka on camera 😂

[@bodegacats8940]

I got a survey about this comment asking me how I feel about it lol

[@alexnorth3393]

Same

[@NoPe-n1j]

@@bodegacats8940well don’t leave us hanging?

[@Oceanmachine27]

The fact that Nick came up with "Jerry Seinfeld: Unrated" on the fly *in the middle* of doing this has to make it one of the best extended Cum Town bits of all time

[@mesyoup.3zy]

Stav saying “no no no it’s not that” whenever nicks saying something fucked up is so funny

[@christdolphin69]

It’s not funny, it’s gay and lame. Stav sucks. Any member of The View could have filled in and would’ve responded in the same way

[@ptptpt123]

​@@christdolphin69leaves us with blue racist balls but still funny

[@alanfulcher460]

@@christdolphin69you’re mad that you didn’t get to hear your best friend say your favorite word!

[@Cinerary]

@@christdolphin69 I mean to be honest he’s the only reason Cumtown was allowed to continue because if they had another Nick egging him on it would have been blacklisted from the internet and put on SPLCs watch list as a hate program along with Alex Jones Which is really dumb, because what even is the 1st amendment if racist humor isn’t allowed to exist or be proliferated It obviously has a large audience, and not just white people enjoy it. Every race laughs at (mostly true) stereotypes

[@Cinerary]

@@christdolphin69it’s the only way they could keep it going. They needed a guy to try to downplay Nick at all times. If there was a 2nd Nick instead of Stav it would get scrubbed from the mainstream internet search engines and put on SPLC’s hate lists so fast

[@DevinB43]

“Motion to say sike” “Motion to sike the record”😭

[@player6769]

Everyone bitching about stav shutting the bit down as if that isn’t half the reason it’s funny lmao

[@Dell-ol6hb]

A lot of these retarded fans hate Stavros now because he quit Cumtown, but like half of the comedy of this but is the back and forth between Stavros and Nick, that’s the bit

[@jenkummankum9211]

It’s funny because half of the audience actually enjoys the pod for great bits like these and the other half just wants Nick to say the n word uninterrupted for 30 minutes followed by another 30 minutes of an audio of Nick cutting off all of Stav’s fat with a cleaver

[@ftb282]

It just gets nicks blood up, some of the best bits came from stav trying to shut him down

[@sleepyproduction7166]

@@jenkummankum9211 I’ll never understand those half, it’s not even funny for 30 minutes of that let alone 5.

[@EnteiFled]

​@@jenkummankum9211 both of those options sound pretty good

[@cqduck667]

this is such a good set of clips, but I really appreciate the "Stav convincingly talking about getting in shape" interlude at minute 12. starting to think it was always a bit

[@HC-qc5rp]

“. . . That by being on trial for murder, in a way, Derek Chauvin is…” fucking killed me lololololo

[@damnedbelowjudas_]

"...a George Floyd in his own right"

[@suburbben1687]

That Glengarry Glen Ross parallel was fucking next level holy shit

[@Smithstonedian]

"You should've seen"...."I HAD EM" 😂

[@kevinjclune1]

All these months later, I'm still on the fence

[@humphreybumblecuck5151]

4ng per ml dawg 1* "A lethal dose" (As in a dose that's known to have killed people but not the LD50, GF had underlying conditions, reasonable doubt?) 2* Also the whole footage where several minutes before he is on the ground he is crying out that he can't breath when he is only being forced into the back of the vehicle and there is no restriction to his air flow whatsoever. Ofcourse when he experiences health issues (perhaps onset by his panic attack) and he really isn't getting enough oxygen to his brain and is claiming to be unable to breath the police did not render aid to him perhaps as fast as they should have (Negligence?) but maybe its a tragic boy who cried wolf situation , or perhaps that is a bad comparison. 3* I don't think he appeared to have very much of his weight on GF's neck upon reviewing multiple angles. My own opinion is it should've been either acquittal or negligent manslaughter (something like that) The guilty on all charges was essentially a lynching to appease the mob I.M.O.

[@NoFlu]

@@humphreybumblecuck5151 TBF, even if GF was on a lethal dose, killing him even 1 sec before the drugs got to him would be an injustice. But yea, I'd have charged him with manslaughter, neglience or whatever and use of excessive force. Would still have gotten him looked away for long enough and would have gotten through way easier....

[@genghiskhanxxx5276]

@@humphreybumblecuck5151 those facts aren't allowed 😤

[@saiftama]

@@humphreybumblecuck5151 let’s kneel on your neck for nine minutes and test it

[@realsamhyde]

I literally don't care that he died. He wasn't murdered.

[@dukiwave]

2:55 The way Nick says "texify" after the bit is done, it takes time for his brain to wind down the racism

[@JTKatz07]

“Do that shit we was practicing in the cell” reading off a Chinese menu 😆

[@bidniss101]

Stav not giving Nick an inch every time he tries to riff on it make this a million times funnier. Maybe Stav's greatest performance on the pod.

[@lugie69]

"Motion to sike that from the record" is proof alone that they need to just give Nick The Simpsons by this point

[@kingofoblivion1822]

If there wasn’t sooo many sensitive triggered people, Nick would be able to create the most entertaining and hilarious SNL type show ever

[@DiabandoBastardo]

One of the best uninterrupted riff sessions of the whole podcast

[@Cacodominus6969]

This will never ever get old

[@jj947]

Like the purple m&m

[@HarrisonHollers]

The best part is impersonating Shelley Levene: You should have seen it! I had him down…I HAD HIM!

[@jujucrock14]

He had a 20 dollar bill and it was FAKE!

[@Ray_D_Tutto]

The best part is you know Nick doesn't believe in the racist jokes he makes yet Stav is still terrified of the irony.

[@mitch4904]

Absolutely. Nick doesn’t give a fuck, a jokes a jokes a joke and fuck the haters, he still laughs at it

[@AceSantiago]

@@mitch4904it’s a bit

[@IMugMuggers]

stave’s worry of the optics was a staple to the show, I like tafs but Adam’s submissive nature doesn’t work as well without stav as a foil

[@BoxingFanCapoTito]

@@IMugMuggers nah it works because the monologue is exactly what nick wants to say packaged from a pseudo woke point of view.

[@IMugMuggers]

@@BoxingFanCapoTito I agree that it works in its own way but not in the same way that i listen to cumtown for

[@ryanmussell739]

4:15 the start of the dazzle dazzle lawyer.

[@liamjones9115]

sheet! You killed a MF'ER on Camera! 😂😂😂

[@ColinMor-fj3qc]

"The R-N Vaccine" LMAOOOO

[@ashyguns8669]

Man, to see Stav squirm on this, and now hes on a Netflix movie, and commercial. I see the greek was just angling to get in on Hollywood

[@caseypnw]

Did not expect Nick to have a perfect Richard Pryor impression

[@Komodo1312]

"- and it was the beep heard around the world" damn, Nick is so smooth with it

[@christianclark4148]

Just realized that nick confused don king for johnnie cochran 😂

[@AWormsPurpose]

I thought Nick was a former Baltimore City Cop when I first started listening and I can't figure out why

[@SamFlador]

Because you're racist

[@ja3482]

This clip still blows my mentalities.

[@andrew33167]

8:41 for the Cochran bit

[@bobjenkins8015]

I fucking love when nicks going off on something stupid and racist and stav tries to shut er right down lmfao

[@ngonzales3781]

thats why stav sucks

[@MJW238]

In the first or second episode of the podcast Nick and Stav openly talk about how they think doing that bit would be funny.

[@ngonzales3781]

@@MJW238 cumtown expert

[@lamwam5065]

Stupid? I have statistics and skull measurements to back up my racism.

[@realsamhyde]

Thank God he's gone.

[@xXBigGodXx]

i remember listening to this on a flight.. i have never listened to cumtown ever again in a public setting

[@aburr1537]

It's funny to listen to these again and realize stav isn't playin, he's legit trying to not get cancelled before he left

[@williamhornabrook8081]

I know I'm late to the party, but this was the clip that I discovered Cumtown with.

[@dyballocks1296]

One of their finest bits

[@BryanGula]

I don't wanna hear your side of the story; DAY ONE we're gonna get him ordained.

[@AB-tw7qe]

stav is a comedic master. constantly saying no to any development and trying to guide the convos back to hack bits that have already been done before.

[@davidec.4021]

Stopping Nick on this occasion will be Stav’s second largest disservice to humanity second only to his size

[@GeebzSteez]

FACTS

[@banksdiggy]

Ain’t gotta worry about that anymore

[@n1ls53]

@@banksdiggy stav died of diabetes?

[@pietzsche]

@@GeebzSteez *fats

[@andrewhayes5130]

@@n1ls53 We wish

[@lil_mixdrink]

This is probably the best bit ever created.

[@killaken2000]

reminds me of "Hero cop Mark Furhman" - Frank Reynolds (it's always sunny in philadelphia)

[@nonthreateningmale]

Wasn’t it Mac who said it lol?

[@jizzmonte]

@@nonthreateningmale no it was frank

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

@@jizzmonte Actually, you're both right. Frank says it in the Cereal Defense, then in McPoyle v Ponderosa, Mac says he's gonna do a hero cop Mark Fuhrman thing and then sort of transition to a Kato Kaelin. I have autism, and I'm gay.

[@CosmicL407]

"Can Google pronounce anything else?" Was fully expecting an immediate hard R read by Google.

[@ImAlxxy]

Google uses a soft r my nigga

[@Blue-jy4rf]

"Isnt the moral that we're all chocolate on the inside? Because being in court, derek- "NOOONONO!"

[@pietzsche]

"Don't be shy" lmfao

[@terrorble727]

The m&m analogy was poetry

[@crapconnoisseur6691]

And this is why stav wears cool shoes

[@476megaman]

Can someone please re-upload the bit about nick calling dave chappelle the n-word

[@jacobapodaca2530]

"With ONE WORD I can put an end to all of this"

[@yourdogisbeautiful5845]

Its on the cumtown animated series that one channel does.

[@tomimpala]

​@@yourdogisbeautiful5845dope channel, Saul is

[@G.-qo5os]

I respect my best friend nick mullen for being able to take an objective look at both sides on this issue

[@azaz2552]

“Gon’ head and say all that General Tsao’s shit you was sayin” 😂😂😂

[@nicholasjohnson3931]

“Moral of the story is underneath it all were all chocolate”

[@SAGERUNE]

"your honor, i would like to say SIKE, i would like to SIKE that from the reccord!" got me shattered ribs

[@coolguy646]

Nick was on fire with this one.

[@VandalayIndustries64]

Holy shit, saying that maybe Chauvin's lawyer is a George Floyd, a hero, in his own right is fking hysterical. "Cmon Derek, you you killed a man on camera! You can speak a lil Chinese for dem man!

[@pandavelli8176]

Nick sure is well spoken and articulate brotha

[@lachlank.8270]

Oh my god the Jack Lemmon bit

[@siddharthavicious108]

Hey guys it's Cool Derek here.

[@Cinerary]

Derek Vinyard

[@fenjohrer]

this was a real hard line moment for stav

[@ehfoiwehfowjedioheoih4829]

Nick will never admit it, but this is one of the funniest things EVER

[@DowzerWTP72]

The Derek Shelly Levine makes me cry laugh every fucking time 😂😂

[@Smoof29]

doctor reverend derek chauvin holy shit

[@mangopod2417]

I miss when adam was heavily medicated like this

[@Drazakhan_Dynasty]

Did he do antidepressants? That makes a lot of sense. Adam seemed like a halfway decent comic in the first few episodes of the pod and then he just goes downhill, and simply cannot get out of Nick's shadow.

[@caseylayton4898]

Me & all my boys put money on D-Chauv's books regularly

[@SpencerArinhaveamom]

Nick was in a mood that day 😂

[@sadmel2705]

Chauvins lawyer and gay michael douglas GOATED

[@Kyryyn_Lyyh]

Stav fatly bragging about exercise gets funnier the fatter he grows.

[@seanmaierhofer5925]

Nick is the goat man

[@jb-eq6no]

“No. That’s certainly not the case whatsoever. Even under your twisted logic.”

[@moisttrilby3249]

What a compelling argument nick makes

[@fanda6122]

best part about this is adam has used "wait and see" on the podcast at least 3 or 4 times since this episode

[@murkwell17]

I found cumtown 2 months before it ended. On one hand i have a HUGE back catelog of clips/pods to go back and listen to....

[@ftb282]

There's enough there to replay/rotate for years. I still put the 2018-19 eps back on for a laugh. Enjoy brother, fuckin amazing podcast that gave me laughs in tough times.

[@sunfish9341]

the m&m analogy and stav’s reaction to it is so fucking funny

[@WheelChairwayToHeaven]

Not allowing Nick to finish the bit was a crime...which pretty much makes Stav...you know... a criminal.

[@pocketTrauma]

The funniest part is where Stav says "roundly no" instead of "soundly no".

[@ZombieLincoln666]

Speaks a little Chinese for ‘em

[@scottholland9733]

Motion to psyche 😂

[@harryvickers1945]

*syke

[@kourii]

@@harryvickers1945 Nah

[@REAPER3fitty]

​@kourii yes. That's exactly how it spelled

[@NoPe-n1j]

@@harryvickers1945sike*

[@martyrmayne]

Motion to sike

[@FancyPenosi]

Gotta be a a top 5 ep

[@thomasthemonke3723]

Do you know the number?

[@PandaRants]

8:42 is the hardest I have laughed in a while

[@ollieklim47]

‘Chauvin the Machine’

[@jxp]

playing as gateshead on FM whilst listening to cumtown is an experience ive lived many times before

[@LB-gj7bt]

just watched joker: folie a deux and was reminded of this bit

[@christdolphin69]

Man stav really made this show the worst version of itself it could possibly be

[@Jesse3beards]

Go ahead Derek

[@BananaPhoPhilly]

“I’d just like to put that out there that I hope Derek goes to prison” Wow thank you stav for your brave stance during this comedy bit

[@terrybates9874]

Adam’s laugh is enraging

[@Ray_D_Tutto]

Like a dying Seagull.

[@04mdsimps]

Can someone find the “george floyd twilight zone” clip?

[@ZACHANDJACKSZACHSMAFIA]

I wanted to hear the say his name joke. -Jack

[@crackdog3523]

"I cant breathe (in more fent)"

[@maxbouvatte]

Gosh dang that nick guy makes me laugh so freakin much

[@drunkenmmamaster419]

I miss Nick bullying Stav

[@ardaorhan]

The goat bit

[@johnbell6651]

Anyone remember which vid has Biden saying Doobigger lmao

[@DeezN1892]

This guy loves a Gateshead football manager save

[@harrylimeracketeer]

2:00 I will never forgive Stav for stepping all over this beautiful bit. Wish him the worst

[@Steezboy3000]

Realistically the Patreon should just be clips of Nick being extra offensive

[@meantime69]

May be be churned into lamp oil...

[@tonguepunchman1528]

I can't believe the amount of people snorting copium thinking all the pussy behavior by stav is just part of the bit when on many occasions you can clearly hear that Nick wants to go on and Stav breaking down and changing subject immediately. This is literally bit killing here.

[@harrylimeracketeer]

@@tonguepunchman1528 yeah there are instances where he’s just playing along, but this is probably the most egregious instance where he simply refused to let Nick do what would have been an all-time great bit

[@ultrawidegta4519]

@@Steezboy3000 2:17

[@234i9]

Why were they ignoring the OD?

[@garbo7779]

Not a bad Jack lemon impression off the cuff