Curb Your Enthusiasm: There Are No Ties in Optometry

From Season 11, Episode 4
The Watermelon
Aired on HBO: 2021.11.14
Kaley Cuoco guest stars as Freddy's girlfriend.
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This highlight clip is intended for fans who’ve seen the episode.
You can watch full episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm anytime with
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#cye #larrydavid #kaleycuoco #susieessman #jeffgarlin #curb #curbyourenthusiasm #cyt #purpleX #fanatical

[@atrejunl]

I love how Susie always forgets how much she hates Larry at the beginning of their conversations

[@jamezkpal2361]

Yeah, but I don't think she hates Larry she just can't stand him.

[@theoremipsum]

Every episode of the show begins in reality but eventually (usually when Susie arrives) it spins off into a fantasy where Larry gets to live out his neroticism and intrusive thoughts.

[@mollusckscramp4124]

​@@jamezkpal2361 Me and one of my friends back home are the exact same way. We've known each other since freshman year of college and get nostalgic, but always within 30 minutes we are arguing with each other like we're in Parliament😂

[@jjmah7]

She doesn’t hate Larry she loves him. That’s just how she is bruh lol she’s a fuckin bitch!!! And a hilarious one at that

[@ordinarypete]

They love each other.

[@mchoffner8497]

Every optometrist, and every patient, at every appointment, ever.

[@anonymousedonor5703]

it honestly feels like the 'cool glasses club' is gaslighting me for asking for help with my vision. I have never been able to go through with this because of it, but I guess it won't matter until both 1 and 2 are undistinguishably blurry- maybe THAT is the only answer that won't make the tester act like I'm lying.

[@johnstanley6977]

Yep

[@DaygoKid94]

They really be close tho 😂😂😂😂 they really make you feel like ab asshole for not being quicker 😂😂😂

[@RTM950]

There's so much variety in that profession, what are you talking about!

[@Lazy_Sundae]

Not me. I've said "They're both about the same" more times than I care to remember and never had an issue.

[@0tto9]

Suzie usually comes in with the right attitude, and it quickly devolves into a Susie moment when Larry gets involved.

[@onazram1]

I love when the Mexican stand off music plays, you know Susie is pissed......

[@LadyTeePrinceLover]

😅!

[@hannahmadden3573]

Jewish women always have an attitude.

[@0tto9]

@@hannahmadden3573 always? Wow.

[@Logan_Baron]

Enters: "Thank You. Both of you......" Minutes later: "You know what fuck you. Both of you".

[@Inconvenientx]

Susie is such a pro - always solidly in character. Jeff Garlin smirks his way through most of these scenes, which is actually funny in its own right.

[@docd2295]

“They don’t live around here, farmers, Larry!” Most Jewish sentence and speech pattern ever I love this show so much.

[@FinnaRealtawk2323]

"So what names do you call him, Larry? I just call him a racist cock sucker". Funniest line of the entire episode.

[@AusSpurs]

@@FinnaRealtawk2323 ‘joe here has Nancy pelosi on his tractor’

[@Dr_OzoneTV]

Structure is: a. Comment on other social group, b. Name the group, c. Address the person you're talking to.

[@rondvorak6748]

They're not giving your response enough likes, the KZbin commenters, @@Dr_OzoneTV!

[@louismarano8121]

In 1920 it would have been: "Farmers around here they don't live, Larry."

[@vandergruff]

“Three or four?” Larry: “Three is really growing on me.” 😂

[@FinnaRealtawk2323]

"So what names do you call him, Larry? I just call him a racist cock sucker". Funniest line of the entire episode.

[@sharpo]

That is exactly how I experience my own eye exams. Larry is always spot on!

[@figuringitout796]

same

[@MrKeefy]

I've had one that was impatient. He would say "which looks clearer, 1 or 2" etc and I would ask him to show me again and he huffed and rolled his eyes So I deliberately took even more time after that 😂

[@GK-qc5ry]

Same, I don't trust my first instinct.

[@MickeRamone]

"Three's really growing on me" this is just perfect...best show right now

[@paulbrungardt9823]

I am a retired optometrist. The optometrist skit reminds me why I was so happy to retire 9 years ago.

[@LadyTeePrinceLover]

😅!

[@BudFuddlacker]

Good, nobody misses you

[@Yyxqq123]

This is why grown ups can’t have nice conversations… because of douchbags like Bud…

[@calebtot]

I've been seeing the same optometrist for nearly 22 years. I'm 27. This skit has made me realize that I am an excellent patient of his. I always make up my mind very quickly on which one is clearest. He always comments about the excess myelin around my optic nerve and how interesting it looks. I went to have my prescription checked this morning! Dr. Cross rocks!

[@BudFuddlacker]

@@calebtot so people who want/need a second look just to make sure their prescription is accurate makes them a bad patient? Yeah whatever, I’M the patient, I’M paying the money, so the eye Doc is on MY time, NOT his

[@user-zg7rl1ot7m]

that situation at the Optometrist is SO relatable! hillarious

[@galaxyglitterlatte4664]

Exactly!! 😉🙃😏

[@drdrew3]

Fun Fact: The original title for Curb was “Relatably Hilarious”

[@022171]

Yep. They both look the same. The doctor keeps asking which is better, and you can't decide. Finally, you feel guilty for taking too long and just pick one. Then you're worried that you picked the wrong one, the doctor moves on to the next pair of slides, and... repeat. This is what makes going to the eye doctor a miserable experience.

[@lukecasio9810]

They shouldve also included the air pressure test, I always have to retake that one a few times because I flinch in anticipation lol

[@yhwhechad]

Whats her name?

[@mattkemerait]

This is me at every single visit to the optometrist. "Ok this is like a trick of some kind" 💀

[@shardulthakur7362]

We promise we are not tricking you!

[@dammitjim9131]

Every once in a while you can catch Kaley Cuoco smirking trying to stop from laughing. She is a nice surprise and a delight. Wonderful comedic actor!!!

[@YouAwakeYet]

I had to go back and rewatch this.....definitely looked like she was holding back a smirk in a couple scenes

[@MaxPowers1245]

I wondered if it was her then I thought she’d be playing herself if it was

[@angrymofo12]

That would mean she is a terriful comedic actor though? She is supposed to portray an exasperated eye doctor, not a sometimes exasperated sometimes smirking eye doctor. Look to Iris Bahr for a comedic actor worth a rewatch. This is like som random kid from a no-namecommunity improv theathre group landed a gig with the maestro LD, and had trouble keeping it in his pants.

[@lexijs]

@@angrymofo12 you care too much

[@angrymofo12]

@@lexijs What the world needs is not more indifference.

[@sirjohnmara]

I found this to be the best episode yet - this season.

[@petermaag9622]

It had all the elements of a classic curb, everything tied up smoothly. Just perfect

[@annikarasmussen6616]

One of the best curb episodes in a longtime no doubt

[@phillipalvarado1994]

Honestly I don't really it's funny but I think last season is better with mocha Joe I honestly thought it was hilarious this season it's funny but it's not that funny no offense to the legendary Larry David it just my opinion

[@MountainPerson]

It’s the absence of Maria Sophia

[@cizzlen07]

Same!

[@Jack655321]

“3 is really growing on me” had me laughing out loud.

[@firstnamenlastname]

His inkling that the eye exam is too close to honestly decide is hilarious 😂

[@ripvanstinkle]

Larry is so iconically in glasses that @4:10, he's almost unrecognizable.

[@Leo-qe3gl]

Yes😂

[@irenemax3574]

Sergeant Susie: “What am I-Little House on the F@? *in’ Prairie here?”

[@squirrelystew]

She says wearing a camo sweater. LOL

[@spokehead8218]

'that should be in the constitution, freedom of speech..for Larry David', lol funny shit

[@mauriciokrebs2913]

wonderfully sarcastic

[@FinnaRealtawk2323]

"So what names do you call him, Larry? I just call him a racist cock sucker". Funniest line of the entire episode.

[@Cyril29a]

I learned from the comment section that people don't realize that one can tell the optometrist that they don't see a difference.

[@eldiesel4593]

The least important part of the farmers-mailing-something idea is the fact that the packages are big, and that's the one part Jeff clings to lol.

[@free2roam674]

The eye roll at 2:54 is perfect. She says it all with one glance, brilliant.

[@ROGER2095]

Here's my optometrist joke: Q. Why do Optometrists make the best lovers? A. Because they're always asking their partners, "Is it better like this? Or like this? Is it better like this? Or like this?"

[@fahnry]

Your joke sucks !

[@assmane999]

That joke sucks

[@FatKarma999]

I think you need to change your viewpoint @@assmane999

[@-dugair]

It stinks. Indecisive... my favorite kind of lovers... Next!

[@ROGER2095]

@@-dugair That reminds me of a joke on the TV show, "Dear John." Kirk, the weasely guy, makes a pass at Kate, the foxy one, and she says, "Not in your wildest dreams." Kirk pauses and says, "In my wildest dreams, you're waiting in line."

[@GizmoRob176]

"Naming a cow Bessie sounds made up. It's like naming a dog Fido."

[@BCBaron]

I gotta agree. If somebody told me they had a cow named Bessie, I would immediately be suspicious.

[@kirksmith2051]

Naming a cow "Bessie" is a cliche.

[@joepalooka2145]

Larry David--- the only guy on KZbin who doesn't make you watch stupid commercials first!

[@kalleroseworld1919]

yeah cos larry is uploading these lol

[@Salenceable]

I love Larry David, but the reason there are no commercials is probably that this is a commercial. For the show.

[@Mac-dt3iz]

@@Salenceable it's because the person uploading it doesn't own the content so they can't make money off of it.

[@watchreport]

This channel has no affiliation with the show or Larry David.

[@non_brewed_condiment]

Do you hear what you're saying? First of all, like someone else said this is literally a commercial for the show. Larry is obviously not personally uploading these and even if he was are you seriously comparing the creator of Seinfeld and Curb with some small KZbin creator who is signing $10-15k brand deals on their best day? That is an insane take.

[@skaneverdies]

She might be living the good life in LA but god damn if Suzie isn't still 200% Bronx.

[@LadyTeePrinceLover]

😅!

[@2808879]

The optometrist scene is spot on! 🤣😂 I've been through this. Haha. Choosing is so hard.

[@anonymousedonor5703]

There is actually an optometrist, Perry Castellano, commenting here, who says that he does this to patients all the time (?) and that someone asking questions like LD did would make him "a pain in the ass." So I guess optometrists really are shitty all round.

[@LadyTeePrinceLover]

😅!

[@unhommequicourt]

and every single time i end up not satisfied with my glasses lol

[@CookieColt]

Man that optician appointment is so relatable. Lmao

[@ChannelTENthousandBC]

I wait for these episodes like crazy

[@razzorxx99]

Kaley Cuoco, Is so Beautiful !!

[@gregh5061]

Kaley Cuoco in a doctor's outfit is like something out of my fantasy

[@effdonahue6595]

Yer koo koo for Cuoco Puffs! 🙃🚀

[@samuelluria4744]

Hellz YEAH!!!

[@effdonahue6595]

Boiiiiiing!

[@samuelluria4744]

@@effdonahue6595 - Yeah, she's made for it, that's for sure.

[@Prohass]

I cracked up when he moves the goggles like a periscope

[@semperfi1169]

I'm so happy to see Penny finally got out of being a Sales Rep and became an Optometrist instead!! She was pretty vocal about not being happy with her last job. 😢

[@joemckim1183]

Maybe she get Leonard a better pair of glasses.

[@jacobarmour6325]

I feel bad for her bejng typecast lol

[@Xone9]

When she's not busy trying to kill Batman and take over Gotham City.

[@arnoldrimmer960]

@@joemckim1183 Maybe she'll get one pair for herself to see how awful Leonard is for her

[@joemckim1183]

@@jacobarmour6325 Now that she's on the Flight Attendant she's breaking out of typecast more so than any of the other BBT cast members.

[@sisigpapi]

Larry David does not age. This guy's looked 70 for 20 years

[@mv28]

People say this a lot, but the guy is noticeably and obviously older now compared to season one Larry.

[@robbyddurham1624]

I know there's editing, but when Larry said 3 is growing on me, Penny looked like she broke with a smile.

[@pcbacklash_3261]

Actually, it's Kaley, though judging from her jacket her character's name is Heidi.

[@shanedigby]

Kaley Cuoco still looking mighty fine.

[@randolphsullivan1377]

Her millions of dollars probably help the ongoing battle of aging.

[@notdustinschatz9357]

She play tennis it's a physically demanding sport

[@Exotericgaminglegit]

I know what you’re referencing

[@rangerswing]

@@notdustinschatz9357 trust me its the hundreds of thousands of dollars spent in surgery

[@jyak826]

Still? She'll be looking good when she's 60

[@parvezahmed1138]

I swear to God, I do exactly what Larry did when I visit the Optometrist.

[@benjamindoverr3455]

Hence, funny.

[@jayrob5270]

I always go for my second instinct too, never trust my first.

[@HighSpeedNoDrag]

I generally trust my first instinct, especially when a decision must be rendered immediately.

[@after_midnight9592]

Seinfeld Pilot had this on. Always do the opposite of what your instinc tells you.

[@JamesBS]

“I don’t stay with the first instinct. I go with the second instinct.” Said no one ever before 😂

[@fc4660]

Yup, George Costanza was definitely the soul of Larry. Now we just need him to burst in to make it complete 😊

[@DJL0455]

Larry's bug--eyes through the ophthalmoscope..... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@charlesbonkley]

Backlit eyes.

[@TheMoAgha]

I would love to have LD and Jeff as my friends. I don't need anything else in the world 🤣

[@scallywag1716]

Except maybe Kaley Cuoco as your side piece.

[@conorkennedy3304]

I would probably put Leon in there too.

[@wicomms]

Until they start attacking you

[@LadyTeePrinceLover]

😅!

[@vijayvijay4123]

They won't talk to the non millionares

[@rustemsadvakassov1787]

Jesse is a young lady who skateboards =)) I love how Jeff never climbs into a pocket for a word

[@ryanhenderson4869]

the endpoint of the exam is supposed to be a tie! thats when you know youre at the right prescription

[@texaswunderkind]

Once my optometrist sold me on a more expensive pair of "breathable" contact lenses. Supposedly you could even sleep in them. They felt amazing on my eyes, so I tried them. Unfortunately, every time I blinked my eyes went out of focus for a fraction of a second. The contacts slid around a little bit, and it took a moment to settle back into place. As soon as I noticed it, I couldn't un-notice it. I had to return them. The guy got super bent out of shape, trying to give me all sorts of weird brands of contacts. In the end I got the exact same thing I had always had, which is where we should have started in the first place. I never went back to him and I'm sure he's thrilled about it as well.

[@thechosenone1533]

Penny quit her acting career and became a doctor. Leonard would be so proud.

[@niccolomedici4482]

Who are these penny/leonard whom you're talking about?

[@thechosenone1533]

@@niccolomedici4482 Kaley Cuoco,the actress playing the doctor here also played the role of Penny in the Big Bang Theory. Leonard was her husband in that show.

[@christopherzaki8052]

Omg it’s Penny!!! I been trueing to figure out where I remember her from ! Thanks!

[@niccolomedici4482]

@@thechosenone1533 Oh, I thought you were talking about Penny the granddaughter of Leonard Nimoy. Anyway, I looked up Kaley Cuoco in Wikipedia but I didn't see any mention of her being a doctor.

[@thechosenone1533]

@@niccolomedici4482 That's because she isn't,she just played a doctor in this show.

[@Canginator]

Lol, its funny because ties are what the optometrist is actually trained to look for.

[@jeffreysmith236]

How so? What does a tie signify?

[@sam8404]

This was me every time I had to get new glasses as a kid. I apologize to all optometrists.

[@johnflavin1602]

Ditto except I still do it as an adult!

[@webslinger48]

"Susie... in all seriousness ... do you know anyone who has a farm? Or a cow?"

[@justgivemethetruth]

I love this show. It is one of the only comedies I can watch again and again and hear something I missed and it still makes me laugh. That said this last season was not quite as good as the earlier seasons, but still better than most. So cool that they even did an 11th season with Bob Einstein/Marty Funkhauser passed away.

[@VinAbuqrq]

This should have been in the constitution: Freedom of Speech for Larry. Everybody else... ask Larry.

[@sanfordgray5699]

This is so true. You can sense the impatience of the eye doctor, but at the same time, these are your eyes. You need the selections to be correct or they can damage your vision.

[@broncobilly4029]

I like how Suzie always enters scene being nice to larry, only to immediately get annoyed, then pissed, then she kicks him out. ha.I feel the same way at the optomotrist. after a few slides, they look the same to me.

[@deanspanley4472]

Larry was the only one who gave me a laugh when I was going through a dark period

[@LeoSkyro]

4:10 bro he looks like he's completely bold and it's fucking ridiculous lmaooo

[@MukulApple]

1:50 big brawny Nebraska hands.

[@darreng6030]

Shes great for the curb world. More of her character.

[@moehio]

I was rolling during the optometry scene. So true.

[@kirksmith2051]

Every optometrist I've ever dealt with has always offered the third option of "about the same."

[@miurtouissi1093]

2:25 I like how she almost laughs

[@noafox5592]

u can see she's trying not to crack up lol

[@Fordham1969]

Did anyone else find 2 clearer than 1 and 3 clearer than 4? It would be interesting to find out they were identical and it's all in my head.

[@tiananman]

yeah it always seems like a trick when you get down to the final 4. They're giving you the illusion of control and charging you $$$ for the privilege

[@stephenproulx175]

I immediately said 2 seemed clearer at the beginning. I bet they did that on purpose lol

[@maxiedean614]

2 and 3 were clearer for me haha!

[@dozied6620]

The pen magically appeared in the right hand of the optometrist in 2:25 and 3:06. It disappeared seconds after each time.

[@shaunlomness4555]

Larry David mannerisms are exactly like his cousin, Bernie sanders. It’s funny now once you realize it. Lol

[@georgiosioannispappas]

Sanders is like his tenth cousin, that's as if they are not related whatsoever.

[@miamitten1123]

0:01 each season that goes by. The cars get greener and greener. Prius, i3, Tesla now Audi e-tron 😂

[@thewannabecraftsman]

I always wondered why he never cut the rest of his wiry hair off and just accepted being bald. At 4:09 I now understand why

[@micahlee2191]

0:59 This had me in stitches when I first saw this.

[@brittany8305]

As someone who works in Optometry there are indeed no ties. Just countless broken glasses and me a frustrated employee. 😂

[@otiebrown9999]

Impressive. 1:30 That Phropter is indeed a mechanical monster. I gave up on it. I now use my own Snellen and Test Lenses. Thanks for your review.

[@danjonmills]

Kaley is a delight in this scene. I've not seen the episode, where are they going with the dropped crisp piece?

[@jshashwat93]

That she sees that she dropped it but chooses not to pick it up. Resulting in Larry telling her boyfriend about it who in turn breaks up with her after forcing her to confess.

[@asbrozek64]

It just kind of gives off a sense of entitlement, you know?

[@johngalt5411]

An accountant friend of mine use to work for a local small businessman. His boss would bring his dog into work and ask my friend to clean up the dog's shit. Needless to say he didn't stay there long. Guy is till in business, wonder who's picking up the dog's shit now?

[@anonymousedonor5703]

ooh, you sound fancy.

[@guguigugu]

Kaley killed it in Curb she needs more roles like this

[@saikrishnasunkam4344]

The optometrist scene is so true lmao. How tf do you know which one is "better"?

[@anonymousedonor5703]

and they ALWAYS sound like, 'hmmm. really? wanna see em again, faker?' I KNEW it wasn't just me.

[@tabularasa7711]

here's four again... three... four. and larry says, This is like a trick of somekind.

[@susanfudge1737]

Larry should just say and do the opposite of his natural instinct.

[@TimEllisau]

they should do an episode on this

[@TheDonN4G]

You mean like George Costanza in Seinfeld?

[@martron123]

@@TheDonN4G Wooooosh ;-)

[@joesimon2018]

That phoropter is ANCIENT

[@psychedeliccarrie5921]

"A young lady who skateboards, that's who a Jesse is" I feel called out

[@badpoetry33]

‘There are no ties in optometry.’ 😂😂😂

[@Avidcomp]

Yeay, Penny got an acting gig. Good for you Penny, good for you.

[@turtleneckferret]

I don't think she's hurting for jobs

[@Woojamchun]

@@turtleneckferret you'd be surprised

[@parziv4L999]

She owns her own production company at Warner Bros on the lot. She’s doing fine

[@surlespasdondine]

@@parziv4L999 Kaley does.... Penny on the other hand we don't know😆

[@cocobunitacobuni8738]

The most endearing part of the show is these two men hashing out reality between themselves.

[@joevictor53]

I swear they allow for ties. I got my glasses a month ago and there were so many that were like this and they asked 1, 2 or they're both the same.

[@lolerie]

They may be the same, if you have an issue with you eyes. Then you are supposed to stop at closer to 0 value.

[@mdflorida1233]

"Don't you feel good about yourself?" "No, I don't."

[@justinberdell7517]

A rare miss i think. It's totally common for my optometrist to say "about the same?" There most definitely ARE ties in optometry

[@tomm7232]

Hahaha this is me at the optometrist always double checking and over analaysing. I respect this scene hahaha

[@squirrelystew]

"OK this is like a trick of some kind. I think actually 3 is 1 and 2 is 4. Am I right?"

[@cdmarshall7448]

This was exactly me at the eye doctor. 👀👀😂😂

[@dudedude949]

Penny the optometrist!!!

[@portlandgirlx0x096]

0:20 😂 Larry could barle keep in character!!!! Lol

[@kcgilford518]

"There are not ties in optometry" -- I have no idea why that was so funny.

[@84Elenai]

Her delivery was pretty good. Pretty, pretty, pretty good!

[@TheMoAgha]

The way Lary imitate Suzie.... classic, and a typical him haha

[@Adam-vo6tv]

I see Penny finally quit her salesperson position.

[@CoastPropertyBuyers]

Fark you that’s a good name for a cow!! 😂 only on Curb!

[@lucasmarinho6816]

Is it just me or does anyone else think Larry looks younger with his glasses on?

[@thevastolorde]

Susie got that WAGON

[@zapkvr]

Im glad they put KC in something. Ive missed her

[@nodammit]

Optometrist: Answer fast and I'll give you the good stuff.

[@tejeshreddy6252]

Kaley aging like fine wine

[@IronMan-tk8uc]

Her DNA was really blessed!

[@samuelluria4744]

She's a real sex machine, that's true.

[@louielouie22]

love that blue paint behind Suzie

[@BFD1989]

Larry, give this show up you are making me hate you

[@benjamindoverr3455]

I'm with Larry. Can never tell the difference.

[@toddgaak422]

My eye doctor always asks "one or two, or about the same?". So yes, there are ties in optometry.

[@bxp1696]

Eye exam part is hilarious.