Cutting My Finger Off - One Year Later

[@CaitlinFord]

Thank you so much to anyone and everyone who actually sticks it out through my final hand update! Here is a list of timestamps if you are just looking for answers to specific questions: Mental effects (flashbacks and nightmares) 4:25 Seeing my hand without my finger for the first time 10:28 Physical recovery 11:22 Phantom Feelings 24:33 Prosthetics 32:01 Did I keep my finger 33:43 Did I finish my shelves 34:45 Handwriting 35:36 Do I still use my saw 35:52 How to ask an amputee about their amputation 36:31 Rude or mean reactions 37:47 Wrist scar 42:47 Future surgeries 43:50 Was it my occupational therapists fault 46:08 Possible lawsuit 49:04 Why I won’t be updating about my hand anymore 56:24 Gratitude 1:00:44 Conclusion 1:02:08

[@jewals-healingrose222]

Now that's what I call love: KZbinr provided timestamps. 👍👍💙

[@zaraseastrunk5402]

Um you definitely should have put 41:27 up there too! So gross lol

[@CaitlinFord]

Zara Seastrunk Weirdos are everywhere 😂

[@xNenaT25x]

Can't forget 54:10 creepy shadow on the bottom left corner that literally scared the crap out of me right now lol, please tell me that's a cat, or dog, or person lol...

[@CaitlinFord]

Nena T hahah that’s just my microphone 😂 I didn’t realize it was in the shot when I filmed

[@maddythemo]

“Does this foundation make me look like I have a liver issue?” Me every morning doing my makeup.

[@CaitlinFord]

Madeline Vanhorn The struggle is real 🤣

[@kawaiisassysweet1914]

it may not be your style but heavy blush makes it look way better. (like red almost under the eye, pink on cheeks, a lil baluch on chin, nose and forehead

[@andromedaspark2241]

Press it in with a lightly damp makeup sponge. I spray mine with rose or lavender water. Any liquid foundation will look better.

[@ryanbashaw4513]

You would look banging with cat eyes wing tips

[@weetidos4514]

you should ask for 10% off at the nail salon to make light of things

[@MsWicicala]

I am a below knee amputee and ask for 50% off pedicures...most the time I get it lol

[@breanneloro1277]

Andrea Martin you should always get it. Half the time, half the product.

[@Lilredcupcake]

10/10 I'm a 5/5.

[@Highlikeheaven89]

@@MsWicicala girl most of the time? If they charge you full price when they only have half the work to do, I would raise hell lol! Yelp that place! Post about it on a community fb page! They only have to do 5 toes and they charge for 10... fuuuuck them lol

[@SirArghPirate]

@@MsWicicala I get 100% off when I go to the gynecologist.

[@samikaysays]

I'm not a lawyer, but I've worked as a paralegal for many years and honestly, you have the right attitude about retaining a lawyer. It is your decision. Lawsuits drag on for ages and can bring up a lot of negativity surrounding the incident. Especially medical malpractice. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do and don't let anyone bring you down about whatever decision you make.

[@CaitlinFord]

Samantha Stagray Thank you so much for the understanding! It is very very appreciated 💞💞

[@peytonp.3096]

Agreed. I work in the medical field and malpractice lawsuits are very difficult to win and take years.

Samantha Stagray I agree. What I worry about is that occupational therapist doing something similar to someone else. She needs to be retrained or something. It’s awful what she did. They need to have checks and balances for these types of things. If any of that made any sense. I am not saying this is your responsibility I just hope they took it very seriously. I am so impressed with you and your positivity. Your so pretty too.

[@eiosti]

We lost my grandmother quite recently due to medical malpractice at age 73, and while it irritates me to hear family members say she "lost her fight to COPD" and talk about filing a complaint and leaving it at that, I know the denial is much easier to deal with than reminding that it could've been different.

[@Indiegirl007]

Ello, fellow Paralegal! 😄

[@Simpleplanqueen5]

My moms a below the knee amputee...she has phantom pain and her “ankle” itches. We found out if we itch behind her knee she can feel her ankle being itched...kinda weird, but cool!!

[@Octoboobs]

Did you know you can treat phantom pain with a mirror? You place long enough mirror between your legs (facing towards the leg) and massage the painful spot while looking at the mirror (like you would look at the leg if it was there). Hopefully this wasn't too confusing of a sentence .-.

[@Nothingleftbutthetruth]

I wish youtube would get wow reacts my mind is blown.

[@aaliyahetc.6687]

you mean scratch?

[@Octoboobs]

@@aaliyahetc.6687 I mean both pain and scratch

[@Amy_Nicole_Sabas]

@@Octoboobs she was replying to the original comment where simpleplanqueen5 said they "itch behind her knee" instead of *scratch* behind her knee

[@cassandee1303]

Wow I'm new to your channel and hadn't even noticed your finger was missing! I've binged watched so many of your hair coloring videos and it just didn't register at all. Amazing story and I'm so glad you've found a way to not let it get in the way of your talent!

[@biancamenezes3871]

yeaaahh I also didn’t notice

[@camischa]

Me too! I realized about by the fourth video I watched, I was too focused on the rainbows haha

[@laurenc9458]

Same I didn’t notice until I saw her first story time

[@flederfox]

Me too!

[@rachelalicea4119]

I didn’t notice until 3-4 videos in, until she posted this one actually

[@emily04iv]

My uncles dad cut off the tips of his middle and 4th fingers when I was really young on a table saw. About 5 years ago he cut more off of his 4th and some of his pinky. He totally needed to stay away from the table saw

[@CaitlinFord]

Wow! Yeah he should probably step away from the saw lol

[@Vsgsissy]

Emily why did that make me laugh 😂

[@emily04iv]

@@Vsgsissy because its so ridiculous its funny

[@lydiajohnson6032]

😂 Sounds like something I would do

[@nil-8026]

Wait isn’t your uncle’s dad also your grandpa??? 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐

[@alexgravelle1]

You are so well spoken. I cannot listen to many other people on youtube talk for over an hour but I watched this whole thing!! So glad you're in a good mental space

[@CaitlinFord]

Alex Gravelle Aww thank you! I’m glad you made it all the way through 🥰

[@MsJadeviolet]

Tbh the first thing I noticed was your bitchin bangs, the second was your witty personality. third was your skills to give an in depth hair tutorial in such a chill, fun and relaxing setting. Lastly, when you did mention your hand, my initial reaction was that despite the incident it looked badass and it added to your charm, because you worked through it and it is now a part of you that makes you even cooler. ❤

[@ms-rachel-anne]

I say this as a solidarity sister helping a girl out: Yes, that foundation is too yellow for you right now and you should probably put it away until summer. I wouldn't go as far as "liver condition," but it's not the right tone. That being said, watching you do your makeup while listening to your story was very interesting and it was good to hear all the recovery details. Also, in your next GRWM, can you please put the bangs take-down on camera? I feel like watching the rainbow bangs come down to go with the colorful makeup look would've been a mood.

[@jimthecactus7425]

I had to make the decision to get my eye removed when I was 9/10 and my surgeon was the biggest asshole. He even made my mom cry at one point all because we were poor and I was a Medicaid patient. He messed up my eyelid really bad when he stitched it so I'm missing half of my waterline, my eyelashes are split and clumped together on the outer corner, and I have bumps from scarring. It's really annoying when doctors do a half-assed job instead of caring for their patient. I'm sorry that they messed up with you're finger but I'm glad you're doing great now. Edit: Also thank you for mentioning the memory loss that can be caused by anesthesia (I've had 30 something operations) in a previous video. I had never heard about it before and I'm an extremely forgetful person so next time I go to a neurologist I'm definitely asking about it.

[@CaitlinFord]

JimTheCactus I am so sorry this happened to you! The American medical system is in need of some major reform. We have some of the lowest quality healthcare in the world at the highest price

[@jimthecactus7425]

@@CaitlinFord Thank you for responding and yes our medical system is pretty flawed.

[@Lilredcupcake]

I'm sorry. I had a 8 inch needle put into my neck. They kinda of have to hold you down. It seems like they want to hurt you, but they really just need to get the medicine you need into you. I screamed ,cried ,and I was super scared. The nurse grabbed me and was super uncomfortable and tearin up and my mum held me down. It helped so much. But it was very difficult to handle for all of us.

[@007MrYang]

Do you wear a cool eye patch? Not trying to offend, just genuinely interested

[@claireeebee]

I'm so sorry you had a surgeon like that :( I will never understand why people that work with others, especially in such vulnerable situations can be so cruel or hateful. My mom doesn't have any money and the surgeon messed up her first surgery. She had to pay out of pocket 100% for another sugery. Incredibly frustrating and angers me. Sending positive thoughts to you :)

[@bellacapulet1933]

Your voice is so comforting. Like a middle school counselor that honestly helps you. Damn I feel like a hug just came through the screen. You're honestly incredible.

[@arson_ruby2403]

That's strangely specific, but ok

[@bellacapulet1933]

@@arson_ruby2403 I'm sorry. 😞

[@ZebrasAreAwesome011]

Like the other person said- strangely specific but somehow it makes sense completely 😂

[@PostWarCorgi]

Knowing its possible to breathe through boogers and not swallow them is deeply comforting

[@AleAT]

makes me kinda sad when people call their face a disaster cause they don't have make-up on, you're gorgeous with and without it!

[@dark_faerie]

I agree, I never wear foundation or cover up or anything, and I dont feel bad about it. My first thought when I started the video was she looked much different without makeup, but she was still gorgeous, and I actually noticed what a beautiful color her eyes are!

[@AleAT]

@@dark_faerie yes! I used to wear lots of make up and i just stopped completely in 2014... i don't hate my old pics with all the make up but i can't be bothered anymore... i do skin care and i feel like i look younger than i did before but i still love make-up looks and tutorials 😁 i think everyone looks awesome both ways

[@dark_faerie]

@@AleAT yes, everyone thinks I look much younger than I actually am, part of it is good genetics but the other part is just not having makeup caked all over my face and showing off the wrinkles I have more!

[@helianabanes4875]

I love that I feel comfortable wearing no makeup, my mom didn't wear any so she didn't teach me. Now I can have a lot of fun doing makeup for something special or just for fun but I still feel good about myself without it. Like, sincerely, I feel just about the same with or without. Often if I wear makeup, I forget I have it on, haha. I cannot imagine feeling uncomfortable without it so props to my mama :)

[@a.b.5590]

I also do hair and I totally get the whole repetition of stories. About 2 years ago, I was pregnant with my second baby. On January 2nd, we found out it was a boy... finally... after 3 girls (2 stepdaughters and 1 shared). On January 9th, we found out our baby had a rare terminal condition called bilateral renal agenesis and would not survive. He was stillborn Feb 6th 2018 at 22.5 weeks. It was rough trying to work and dealing with people asking about my pregnancy. I had to repeat over and over about my son's terminal diagnosis... and then after he was born, it was worse because I had to repeat that I was no longer pregnant. It's hard to go through traumatic things and then try to continue to work with clients.

[@CaitlinFord]

God bless you girl, I got choked up reading this. I am so profoundly sorry for your loss.

[@a.b.5590]

@@CaitlinFord thank you. Last year was a hard year for me. I lost a baby girl shortly after I lost him... but then I went on to have my rainbow baby boy last June. 🌈 So now I have a daughter and son here with me... and a son and daughter in heaven. 👼🏻💕👼🏻

[@michellemelville8979]

Oh geez. I did see something similar to that at my job where one of the young guys and his girlfriend were expecting. That he had called in that it was go time. Nobody really knew how long he was going to be off and nobody was talking about it. In the end I asked a manager we both worked under who told me the sad news. Still born babies aren't something that seems that common yet it's the second one that I'm aware of.

[@breshannondevereaux7725]

Angela, my most SINCERE CONDOLENCES to you and your family regarding the loss of your precious Son! I CANNOT imagine what it was like to have to repeat, his demise, over and over again, so those people could be informed! Under most circumstances, your brain would go into 'repeat' mode and kind of copy a short explanation and that would be it, you know? It must have been like reliving the event, over and over, every time you answered someone! We humans can be so INCONSIDERATE, sometimes! I wish you the best in life, Dear Stranger! As I'm sure you know, your Precious Son is with Creator, safe and strong. With LOVE, Breshannon

[@a.b.5590]

@@breshannondevereaux7725 thank you. It was hard to hear the question, "so.... how's the pregnancy going?" My heart would sink every time because I'd realize I hadn't seen this person yet since everything happened. And in my situation there wasn't really a shorthand way around it. People wanted to know what happened... and was it caused by anything.... and would it happen again in any future pregnancies.... and is there any options to intervene and save the baby. I got asked all kinds of questions because people just wanted to understand what my son's diagnosis meant. So even when I tried to hurriedly inform them of my son's terminal diagnosis, the conversation often just kept going. 😔 Then I also had to deal with unintentionally hurtful responses. "It just wasn't meant to be." "Maybe this happened because you got pregnant so soon after you had your daughter." (Insinuating it was my fault) "You can always try again." "It could've been worse." Etc etc. People don't know how to handle grief and loss... they say things that they think comforts someone, but it actually does the opposite. I shut myself off to alot of people, but when it came to clients, I HAD to tell them. No matter what. Even knowing that I may hear things that would bother me. I HAD to tell my son's story and raise awareness about these kind of things.... and try to help lift the stigma of pregnancy loss / stillbirth. Thank you again for your kind words. 💕

[@kateclaessens7844]

It’s so interesting to listen to someone so articulate and matter of fact about something so hard. It’s strangely uplifting

[@TheJiamy]

Imagine being the occupational therapist who took a finger that was doing great and killed it by taking too long :,)

[@ViolentOrchid]

There should've been a timer that warned them, the entire situation was incompetence.

[@rachelalicea4119]

Imagine watching that happen to you

[@katiebaylisward17]

Them doing that will of caused damage to her finger but the blood clot is what caused everything to go so wrong and the OT isn't at fault for that.

[@ChrystalVanDusseldorp]

@@katiebaylisward17 her hand not being elevated and heated is what contributed to the blood clot, so yes the OT is at fault.

[@shaskins15]

This pisses me off. In a situation like this there should have been 2 OT in there.

[@zaraseastrunk5402]

Honestly I think your hand is so badass!

[@splashthefly9039]

@@ratwithadollar9807 Do you know friends? Matthew Perry (Chandler in Friends) has a piece of his finger missing, you never know if you don't pay attention to it. I also had a family member who had no fingers anymore (except for thumbs). He could draw, write, etc. He could do everything what people with fingers could do. He was really cool! 😁😎

[@zaraseastrunk5402]

In Missouri, the state of limitations for medical malpractice is 2 years, beginning on the date of the injury. Just so you know, either way. You wouldn't lose, they would settle.

[@Atlanticalkaline]

Oh my lawd that is thee most magical fringe I have ever seen in my entire life

[@celester.812]

Rosalind it’s holo

[@carolann811]

I think your thoughts about filing a lawsuit (or not) are pretty healthy. And I like the mental currency idea. I'm going to start remembering that when I get all wound up about something that's not worth the effort. Thanks for being so open. :)

[@MaddieOtto]

I feel like the best career to be in when you’re experiencing some PTSD is being a hairdresser, because the best thing you can do for yourself is talk about it. I’m glad you made this video because it’s very informative and I had fun listening to it.

[@A347baker]

Talking about it over and over 50 times a day every day? No thanks.

[@Angie-qi5hk]

What? I have PTSD from 9/11 and although I realize that talking about my symptoms and feelings is extremely important, it’s important to talk with professionals. Talking to random people who have no experience with what happened to me, who (for the most part unintentionally but still) ask insensitive questions that actually trigger symptoms rather than help at all is horrible. Strangers seem to dwell in the negative when asking about a traumatic incident and they don’t have the knowledge on how to properly approach the conversation. And there is no "best career" to be in when you’ve been through a trauma. Every individual person deals with trauma differently.

[@Lora-Lynn]

Nope, don't want to repeat my childhood memories, not even to professionals. It seems to retraumatise me when I talk about it.

[@jacobmuntzel5226]

As a licensed stylist, I so appreciate this series. I have had hand nerve problem for years and this gives me so much confidence and hope. Your hand seems unnoticeable and I think you’re a cool tenacious woman :)

[@jewals-healingrose222]

Thank you for being so candid! You have a very accessible way of explaining things.

[@ViciousVelociraptor]

I wear knee braces for a condition that I have and you would be surprised how many strangers come up to me and ask me about them. Complete strangers, usually in their 50's or 60's. I make sure they know how much it pisses me off that they think they have the right to my personal medical information

[@percystanford8041]

Osito Kintsugi don’t give up! You have a good filtration system in dating and anyone who doesn’t want you due to your disability wasn’t worth it anyway

[@hermiesrokmysox]

Osito Kintsugi this pisses me off, im so sorry people are so dumb :( please don’t give up.

[@julieegli7426]

Why do people think they have the right to ask you or anyone about their medical condition? It goes beyond being nosey and rude.

[@peaceloveandsnoopy]

Oh my god, I got that ALL THE TIME when I had my back brace (skeletal deformity). Do you also get the impression that the people who ask sometimes don't even listen to the answer? I always felt that some of them were only asking because I caught them staring at me and they felt like they had to say something. I used to give an obviously fake response to see if they were really listening. My old go-to was, "I fell off the Empire State Building." And nobody ever batted an eye or asked a follow-up!

[@ViciousVelociraptor]

@@peaceloveandsnoopy Oh absolutely

[@katebe3]

I’m sure I’m not the only one and I hope you know that I definitely found you from your original story time, but definitely remember you for your amazing hair creations!

[@velyduran9022]

Caitlin: Goes through the whole video so eloquently. Last minute: “really really aesthetic shit...” 🤣🤣🤣

[@anthony_lovett]

I have ptsd from an incident 2 years ago and when you said gut wrenching feeling, i felt that. Definitely different situations, but i understand how hard nights are and im so proud that youre okay now!♥️

[@karenrenteria5824]

Dude I’m in awe of how you overcame this!!! Props to you and you give me motivation to keep going!!!

[@Lroselovely88]

An hour long GRWM with a hand/life update? Yasss 😍

[@pageduncan6908]

You've got the best outlook on your whole ordeal! You don't owe anyone anything, and you're entitled to your own opinion about what YOU went through. Love your personality overall, made me laugh so much, and you're super talented!

[@user-xi8jc8ch7i]

i feel u on being hesitant about using the saw again. i was in a roll over car accident a few months ago and even tho i was lucky and made it out with only a few stitches, just thinking about driving on the highway gives me anxiety. thanks for sharing your story!

[@harveydangerfield]

This was just randomly recommended to me for some reason, but I think your story is awesome. In listening to the end though, I'm kind of infuriated that someone would accuse you of "using your sob story" as if you aren't entitled to talking about your own trauma lmfao. I respect you for not wanting to talk about it at length, but for you to be told that you're "using" your story that actually happened to you in real life and affects you to this day is just messed up. It's so messed up. That kind of thing makes me mad.

[@KC-Bear]

I'm not sure if you've done a video like this before but I think a get ready with me talking about how you got started in the hair world and how you became who you are would be super interesting ✨🌈

[@karen.mcglone.3481]

Lots of respect to you, and admiration. You are a real inspiration! I am a hairdresser, and worked with a stylist and never noticed she lost a middle finger, that got caught in a car door, until she told me. She couldn't believe I hadn't noticed, working alongside her!!!!

[@HettieB8]

Literally have watched so many of your hair videos and never noticed? Glad you're recovering, must've been so hard. X

[@suzzannephillips3907]

You are such and inspiration!! 🌈🌈 I’m so happy you joined KZbin and I found your channel! If only we lived closer....I would so be your client!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[@kayygee9287]

Early squad! Love your videos Caitlin.. you are going to be blowing up so quickly.. glad to be here to see it!

[@sid3966]

Hi, I want you to know that I seriously relate to what happened to you. I did not get my finger chopped of but I did fracture my middle finger at the joint. When you were talking about some difficulties you had I totally understood. However losing a finger is alot worse than breaking it of course, and I am totally sorry for that I can't imagine what that must of been like. You're a real trooper man. A very strong women. I really look up to you. I want to go to beauty school for hair since I'm already cut and dyeing my own hair now. I've been watching you're videos to learn more about hair so keep up the good work. When times get tough just know a 16 year old high school girl looks up to you. :))

[@CaitlinFord]

Sid w I got into hair around the same age as you because I was always DIYing it as well! It’s a very fun and rewarding career that lets you meet a lot of interesting people. I’m so excited for you to pursue it!

[@BullieBelle]

“The index finger is the most disposable finger on your hand.” I agree...except when you want to point at something....especially if it’s something up above. 😳 jk thanks for sharing, Caitlin!!! 💛

[@CaitlinFord]

Bullie Belle Azim I just use my middle finger to point now, it’s both offensive and effective! 😊♥️

[@xHarpyx]

@@CaitlinFord roflmao! *metal* \m/

[@BullieBelle]

HarpyFarts or even more metal... /

[@xHarpyx]

Rofl, oh gawd! Metal farts!? Ouch!

[@GenetMJF]

@@xHarpyx Well now it's \m

[@PrincessofErised]

Props to you for taking responsibility for the loss of your finger. That takes a lot of honesty and not to sound condescending, totally proud of you. Wildly proud. You have done the right thing. Best wishes for everything you do in the future. You go girl!

[@Bigotedechivo]

I'm a tattoo artist, and the idea of losing a finger is just ,.... My worst nightmare. I loooove your work!

[@CaitlinFord]

Thank you! I imagine holding a tattoo machine would be very challenging without an index finger because of the weight!

[@Hi-Im-Paul69]

I do all sorts of arts and use my fingers a ass ton and I love playing Xbox and just the thought of losing my finger/thumb kills meeee

[@Gelca510]

I love how you explain why a lawsuit isn't for you at this time and how you are willing to share your story but it isn't the reason you are on youtube. While it's a unique story, you have a extraordinary talent for hair. I look forward to more videos ❤

[@meljstephan]

I went through a very traumatic experience February 5th of last year. Thankfully, nobody was physically harmed but the psychological damage has been lasting. This incident occurred at my workplace and for months, I experienced panic attack inducing flashbacks every time I would enter the part of the building I was in during the incident. Initially, I suffered in silence, crying in bathrooms or hiding in closets to feel protected. It has taken quite a bit of therapy to be able to safely sort through those feelings, and that is without a physical reminder of that horrible day. I really can't imagine having to see physical consequences of that day. I'm sharing all of this basically to say that I appreciate you opening up the conversation about trauma recovery. It's important for us all to talk about, as I learned first hand. If you don't talk about it it lingers and festers and never gets better.

[@alykat2409]

F*** the haters, finger or not, you're who you are and you are awesome. For people to assume that you let an injury define you are ridiculous. Props to you for addressing this and setting people straight!

[@harenokaori]

I've heard of people putting their intact limb parallel to a mirror so that it looks like it's on the opposite side (side with the amputated area) and then preforming whatever action the phantom limb requires (itching, unclenching etc.) and it relieved the sensation. Probably not a permanent solution, just something interesting I heard!

[@snailfail9326]

Honestly, I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose something from your body. Like thinking of just not having something that I can move makes me so uncomfortable.

[@douglasgriffiths3534]

So glad you were able to triumph over this tragedy. I work with my hands every day as well (machinist) , and I don't know if I would be able to cope with it as well as you. Very inspirational video, and thank you. Hope you're continuing to do well. Your videos are amazing. (Jan Griffiths).

[@lolnamelollastname9788]

I did not realise that was your actual hair. I thought it was just a trick of the light. STUNNING!

[@alittlerustee]

My husband had a work accident resulting in multiple finger amputations and he felt so many of these feelings, especially the phantom pains! Glad to see and hear about your progress from your accident

[@Captain.Basketcase]

I watched this at double speed on my train ride home and from start to finish... made it the whole way with this video. I normally don't watch video's this long... but i subscribed immediately on the first video i saw of yours. And i never noticed your lack of finger until i went back and watched all the videos of yours

[@ChrystalVanDusseldorp]

There's another option besides suing. OT's are licensed, so there is a state licensing board you can file a complaint with about your case. It's an alternative that can dole out some disciplinary action without being centered around money. Just something else to consider as you make your final decision. Thank you for sharing as much as you have with us. I found you through your recent entitlement video and did NOT realize you were missing a finger until I looked at the rest of your videos! Take care and so glad for your awesome recovery

[@mallscraftsandstuff4116]

I teach my kids to ask “Can I ask you questions about your_____?” Gives the person to decide if they are in the mood to chat about it. Only once a older man said no. But after while he just blurted out he lost it in a war. My boys just said ok thanks for sharing. They respected him and I was so proud.

[@mikhaylaschull5913]

My dad worked for Silgan for a long while and he crushed his pinkie finger in a machine when I was little, I don't really remember it because I was very young, but he still has his pinkie! When I was 13 he was using a rotary cutter at work (without a guard bc gotta save money) and the cutting wheel broke, it ended up severing some of the tendons in the back of his left hand. He had a heck of a time recovering from it and had to have a sling that held up his fingers so he could build up strength in his repaired tendons by pulling them down. I think he still has trouble using that hand, but he would never admit to it. I've never even noticed that your finger was gone, you've coped with it gracefully!

[@emilyspencer305]

You're such a good story teller. Please do more get together with me style videos. These are so soothing and fun to watch

[@kezkai]

I found your channel a while back and subscribed. This video popped into my feed, I click of course, and realise I'm no longer subscribed. I'm absolutely sick of KZbin doing this to people. There are probably so many creators out there suffering from this issue with their subscribers

[@CaitlinFord]

That’s super strange! I didn’t realize that was something that happened!

[@kezkai]

@@CaitlinFord its happened to a couple of channels I've subscribed to! I don't know how common of an issue it is but I've seen a few comments about it on a some videos before. I think it's something to do with KZbins algorithms, maybe if watchtime is low they assume you're no longer interested or something? Idk, but it's not okay. Creators are surely being hurt by it!

[@KathrynHalstead]

I'm probably old enough to be your mum so from that point of view I think you're fabulous and brave and well done for coming through this ordeal with such a bright outlook. On the fan side, , I never even noticed until this showed in my feed. Good for you my love, we in the UK have a slanted view on the whole USA"sue their ass off" thing and I totally agree, your mental health and happiness can't be bought. Proud of you for taking your time and not making huge decisions in pain or anger. Big hugs xx

[@Kayla-ly8rm]

You have such a good outlook on this whole situation and your makeup and hair skills are amazing. I loved hearing you speak!

[@meaganmh09]

I don’t know why this was on my recommended videos but I am definitely going to forward this video to sister in laws hubby. He was climbing down out of a tree stand a couple of weeks ago and he went to jump down but his wedding ring caught on the ladder and when he jumped it ripped his finger off. He was in so much shock not thinking it happened that the pain didn’t set in until later. The guy who owned the property he hunts at went out with a metal detector and got his finger but it was to late. He keeps telling us about the phantom pains and stuff. If something bumps his stump he says it feels like something hit the tip of his finger, even though nothing is there. Having other people to watch like you I think will make him feel a lot better. KZbin is so great so people have someone to relate to.

[@Xenpapi]

I was curious if the doctors ever said anything about your tendon. I had a fiend lose their pinky and ring finger and were told that there is a chance for the tendons to become irritated or causing fluid pockets from any major irritations, which could lead to internal infections. - On a side note, she loves that you are living your life and not letting what happened control your life. Also that she looks up to you, being someone who has lost fingers on their dominant hand. Keep up the good fight!

[@missschimming]

I wish I could have heard this video 4 years ago. I sanded off part of my finger on my right hand and had a lot of similar feelings to you as far as flashbacks. Thanks for making this video.

[@briannab4770]

You're so articulate and have a wonderful way of explaining things! You seem to be quite language-oriented, am I right in saying so? Also, I'm assuming you read a lot. Is that also correct? Thanks for sharing your story! I feel so thankful for my fingers now, haha.

[@CaitlinFord]

Brianna Bayon Aww thank you! English was always my strongest subject in school, I really love the art of using words! I used to read tons of books but I don’t have as much time to that anymore so now I mostly listen to audiobooks. 😅

[@Beautyinthebreakdown.]

I have hands like this on both hands.. I sometimes forget and shock myself when I look down even though I was born Like it 😂 was born with no thumbs they used my index for thumbs. I love my unique hands and they work well. You go girl 💖

[@MissStillAlive]

Hannah Brown cow wow I didn‘t know they could do this!

[@alexb8739]

My husband cut off part of his thumb in afgahnistan recently, he got a skin graft and nerve transplant and is going through the occupational therapy now. I had been trying to find people who had gone through anything even remotely similar so I can try to understand more of what he's going through, so I'm really thankful for your story. So far it looks like his graft will take.

[@whifflingtit9240]

This is probably the most appropriate use of the term "shell-shocked" that I have ever heard. Yep, the Caitlin is describing is garden-variety PTSD, and investigating the phenomenon of shell-shocked soldiers is what grew into our current understanding of PTSD. I've experienced a lot of the symptoms she's describing in regards to my childhood abuse. It's not fun, yo.

[@argusfleibeit1165]

Just very impressed with you as a person. You come across with such sanity and grace. I think this video will be a very useful thing for so many people to see. Thank you for taking the time.

[@ivechang6720]

Thank you. I truly appreciate how you talked candidly about caring for your mental health. I'm glad for your happiness and it was lovely to 'meet' you.

[@lavenderdetrov3732]

When you said you had to look at the trauma scene to process it, I felt that and did the same thing with my abuser. I would constantly look at his pictures to try and comprehend what happened to me and sort of “relive” the trauma because I just couldn’t really believe it.

[@alyssajohansen4071]

The 2 dislikes are people trying to say Dis I like. 😂 anyway! I followed your Instagram before your accident and when it happened I was honestly thinking that I knew you would power through just fine. You are such a strong, motivated, and powerful woman and I never had a doubt! I’m so glad that it has barely affected your life and everyday function! 💕

[@loveatfirstknit]

It is absolutely not your responsibility to make sure medical malpractice doesn’t happen to others... that is a very unfairly heavy burden to put on you by others! That is the responsibility of care staff...not you. I’m so glad you are in a good place, and that you haven’t become bitter about all of this. There is still so much to be thankful for!

[@lindseyc7181]

I love your personality and positivity! I hate that people would react in such cruel ways. I myself am squeamish with blood and when I see scars it makes me feel pain in areas where someone has a scar or an amputation but I would never treat someone in any type of rude way

[@dustinnickolas1583]

Honestly, I didn't find your channel until this video was recommended to me, but I'm so glad it was because I really like your videos. I went and watched your original video on your finger and then started watching your other videos forgetting about this one and honestly it slipped my mind until I saw that this video was open in another tab. I'm not really sure how anyone could be upset that you've talking about it because this is your channel and your story. You're allowed to talk about it. I've never gone through anything like this, but I'm sure for people that have, hearing how you got through it, and your attitude about it is helpful.

[@maryschuler7808]

I adore the strength you have! Always trying to do what will help you, from looking at the table saw to not suing. It's very empowering!

[@chrissiekotze278]

Your voice is so soothing 😍 also I cannot wait to see you reach a million.

[@samanthathebodeau4345]

I was in a car accident and sued the guy who hit me and I regret it alot. Not because I lost or anything but just because of the constant almost rehashing of those emotions and having to repeat my story so many times and every time I repeat it I feel like I'm living it again and I feel like because of that i havent been able to emotionally heal from the situation

[@LutBen13]

Thank you for sharing your story! I had brain surgery almost two years ago and I’m still unable to do certain things, still have trouble understanding certain topics that just won’t stick, and can’t move my head in certain ways without having a lot of pain. It’s definitely been a roller coaster of emotions. My heart goes out to you for your strength and perseverance! 💙

[@xHarpyx]

Mistakes happen a LOT. In fact, there's no regulation on doctors or hospital staff on standards of care and procedures. I just finished a book about it, written by a Dr. Really interesting. Aaanyway... I love your creativity and so happy I found your channel. You've helped me click on the obvious... Lol. I'm looking into cosmetology schools in my area. You rock! Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@sparklythings22]

whats the name of the book?

[@xHarpyx]

@@sparklythings22 Unaccountable by Dr. Marty Mackarey. I think I spelled that wrong

[@Admiral_Pumpout]

I’m no medical expert and not had any experience personally of amputation (although I know folk with missing fingers and limbs) but I can safely say you are a doll. That hair colouring is awesome too!

[@Silverroses013]

More hair stuff! I also love hearing about people's past and present current pets, so I'd enjoy a get ready with me on that! Also your style evolution.

[@ohshiitake]

I was attacked by a dog and my face was really fucked up and you explain the trauma and healing process so perfectly!!

[@julezzxmua1577]

Just discovered your YT channel and I'm so impressed by your strength and your courage! You are so strong and such an inspiration!! I had a few accidents already but the most severe one to me was the one in 2018 with a big scooter down a summer toboggan where I got a concussion, bruised ribs, bruised thigh, broken nose, 2 teeth knocked out and I had to start therapy because I also had nightmares and lots of panic attacks and stuff. It's so hard to recover from accidents and I think you really can be proud of yourself

[@1-1sapper87]

I love your attitude, and how your so strong. Hope the best for you and your family. Keep up the great work.

[@weaponeer]

I lost 4 fingers 13 years ago. Life goes on, and I still type faster than most.

[@nylmarilee1852]

I'm studying to be hairstylist and I came up on your chanel and watched 5 of your videos, actually tried one of the looks on one of my dolls and it came out great, i didn't know about the finger until u posted a update but as you said is part of your life, just like the rainbow bangs, they make you a different internet personality and you have a great attitude towards it good luck in life

[@MetalPrincess861]

Wow this video really hit home for me unexpectedly! I have commented on another post of yours that I am having PTSD issues from a near death experience in a tornado earlier this year. I really never thought that an injury like yours would produce the same issues with flashbacks and anxiety.

[@Dragonbabyxo]

I love everything about! Your outlook, your personality, your creativity and your shine. Thank you for being open and honest and down to earth! I am a fellow hairstylist, and LOVE your work! Keep on rockin pretty lady.

[@killerfreckles1162]

Omgosh I hear you on the Colourpop shopping spree! I just bought my first palettes from them and now I’m jonesing for some single super shock and jelly shadows not to mention the highlighters and lip colors.

[@stormexaustralia77]

Anyone else get a euphoric moment when her whole look came together? Omg so beautiful!!

[@Boertje247]

Stunning makeup, and so cool to watch you apply as you're telling whatever story. You have an awesome attitude, and you are such an inspiration that hurdles are meant to be jumped over. You have people around you who love you and admire you, plus all of us who follow you on social media. So your strength and passion really shine through. Your people who love and support you are paramount over a finger. And who knows, you may get back to those shelves someday! Personally, though, I have the guys at Home Depot cut the wood for my projects 🤗💕

[@candiceatwater6316]

Girl, you are a badass. Your channel is clearly defined by your incredible talent and intuition with hair, AND electric personality, but amplified by the fact that you went back to work and created some of the most beautiful styles and colors I’ve ever seen (your Instagram is RAD) after such a traumatic event involving the very hands you use to create your works!! The dedication and passion you have is so admirable, and I’m constantly blown away by the never ending possibilities you present with hair. Caitlin you are so well worded, funny as hell, relatable, great at explaining thing WITHOUT sounding condescending, and just all around a goddess. Thank you for sharing your story so unapologetically, and constantly giving so much to your viewers. I love learning from your videos, and am so damn GLAD I subscribed. Keep kicking ass♥️

[@stormybender9649]

I didn’t even know you were missing a finger until this video popped. And let people shame you about it be proud of it! And hey it also makes you unique!❤️

[@TC-mw8bs]

I can't imagine going through what you went through physically and mentally and I really hope you do not take this the wrong way, but I think you losing your finger just adds to your amazing uniqueness and beauty. I absolutely love your personality and unbelievable talent. There are not many people like you on KZbin, you are a joy to watch!

[@CaitlinFord]

T C Thank you so much for the kind words 🥰

[@Leanimal]

Like I’ve said on another video, I didn’t even realize your finger was gone until I watched a video of you telling your story. Your personality is so bright that I didn’t even notice that tiny detail.

[@zraashaq]

1: I love your sweater. 2: I love your hairline! 3: I laughed at "does this foundation make me look jaundiced?" 4: You're an amazing woman.

[@sunflowertrashcan]

Pidge Garrett E. All of the above

[@sierralance41]

I found your videos a very short while ago and when I watched I did notice your hand BUT when I did finally notice it(and I only did because you were doing that rainbow/reverse rainbow hair), it looks very natural. Like I felt like it was almost never meant to be there(not to sound insensitive or anything). Once I noticed it was just a "oh okay" kinda moment and then i went back to paying attention to your hair technique which is stunning by the way. Keep going at it! You are hands down the best thing KZbin has ever recommended to me.

[@Ayla123Hemora]

I am one of those 'I didn't realize it was missing' people xD legit I've watched a few of your hair-related videos lately and it wasn't until I spotted this video on my feed that I knew anything. Went back and located the story-time video and then listened to this as well while I work (I'm also an artist and sew/draw late into the night like a goblin so I often need interesting stuff to watch or listen to) and more than anything I'm just amazed by how positive you are with what's happened. We artists work with our hands all the time and I would just be a mess even after all this time and I can't believe you're able to talk about it so freely already now AND do your make up at the same time like a boss! Much love!

[@KittyxTwilight]

Honestly I just see you as the hairdresser with the rainbow bangs, your talent could never be outshined by something like a finger❤️

[@sambrinkmanii6898]

Thank you so much I'm a 18 year old deciding what to do with my finger because of a work accident and this helped me sorry for your loss

[@devonkelly44]

“it was as serious as an amputated finger” LOL

[@jennteal5265]

I cannot imagine after spending 10+ hours working on saving your finger just how frustrating and infuriating it would be for your surgeons after the results of the Care Teams decisions - whether they were just careless, malicious or what have you. You've really handled things with a lot of maturity and thoughtfulness. Kudos on you and good luck with whatever choices you ultimately make. Everything should be for you and your best interest.

[@Enigmatic666]

If we are being really honest, i didnt even notice you were missing a finger till you posted that first video about it. After i watched that video i went back to the videos i watched and thats when i noticed. Honestly your skills with color completely overshadowed your amputation to the point it wasnt even noticeable to me. :3