Cyanide & Happiness Compilation - True Crime

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Grisly murders from the C&H universe...
Cyanide and Happiness delivers daily comics to your face-hole on explosm.net since 2005!
Shorts:
Return of the Purple Shirted Eye Stabber
Serial Killer
Serial Killer 2
Mittens
Worlds Greatest Detective
Wishes
The Prosthetic
Matchmaker

[@lithika9149]

If anyone survives the apocalypse, it's the purple shirted eye stabber, dude's got infinite knives

[@itsthorondil7608]

He just has a pocket dimension full of just knives.

[@eliasar5051]

It doesn´t matter, because there is a guy who can cut it in half!

[@ber7967]

@@eliasar5051 half of infinity is infinity

[@Sudain]

And accuracy.

[@SilverSaiyanAce]

@@ber7967 but he could cut the knives themselves in half not the number of knives and if he cuts off the blades then the knives are useless

[@jacobgraemoor5778]

Nobody ever talks about the purple shirted eye stabbers superpower in that he has unlimited knives.

[@Mossieu_deady]

I'm..... Outa knives...

[@Mydogsobig]

@@Mossieu_deadyI sure didnt think i would find an undertale reference here

[@felixfauxington99]

@@Mydogsobig dude why’d you delete the time stamp lol

[@ultatack6020]

@@felixfauxington99 He didn’t, the reference is to Mr Deady’s comment, there was never a time stamp to begin with.

[@felixfauxington99]

@@ultatack6020 I think I’m going insane

[@TeaLurker]

I just like the fact that no one else in this universe has a purple shirt. Nice colour on him too

[@josephmulligan3247]

10:55, although I like the chatacyer and it is quite unique (the shade)

[@vortexdarknes8567]

Haha I know right

[@tr0nic_442]

5:08 the dead body right under the dude with the cyan shirt

[@tenzinc1514]

Not true 5:18 you can see a dead guy with a purple shirt

[@adrianvincelentican2028]

I have a purple shirt

[@kiaratheotaku6257]

Mister eye stabber is amazing. There’s never a dull moment with him

[@vegeta7456]

Noice one

[@APersonOnYouTubeX]

Look sharp

[@JannPoo]

I see your point... very closely.

[@teemart7437]

Yeah cuz his moments are always "sharp".

[@Peter_File69]

Now we need a new head of execution

[@akroma443]

5:09 We have now sadly seen the fate of the Purple Shirted Eye Stabber. Even his unlimited knives were no match for the cat guy.

[@siriusa6235]

Well spotted bruv. The next serial killer is the red shirted head stabber.

[@chickurt3153]

@@siriusa6235 purple shirts arch nemesis

[@siriusa6235]

@@chickurt3153 They're brothers. Cyanide could make something out of this.

[@christopherdangelo1292]

The shirt wasn’t light enough for it to actually be him.

[@dhruvamehrotra1975]

@@christopherdangelo1292 Not just the shirt, the guy wasn't light enough either.

[@ComicalRealm]

Ah the Purple Shirted Eye Stabber, love that guy

[@sundownsgaming4717]

Yea ma man the purple shirted eye stabber and his unlimited knives make a retearning

[@epicguardian44]

At least it’s not the yellow pants ball stabber

[@rssl5500]

@epic guardian lmaooooo

[@emircanball4994]

Well he loves you too especially...

[@randomdeadguy8120]

This dude is definitely the purpleft shirted eye stabber in disguise

[@kariduanimations]

I love how even though the boy wasn’t connected to the machine anymore you could still hear his pulse in the background

[@MyNameIsNotBoulder]

And the way the wrestling guy said “The F you say!?!?”

[@lol-yh]

I though I was the only one who noticed lol

[@david.crowther6646]

Am I the only one thinking that the car advert at the end would actually make for a really good marketing campaign for a car with a new auto-braking system?

[@ohheyitsguy]

It reminds me of that Geico commercial where they try to decide where to hide from the killer, and they all ignore the car, and the killer is just disappointed in them

[@david.crowther6646]

@@ohheyitsguy I haven’t seen that advert before (I don’t think it made it over to the UK) but that sounds like a great marketing tool. Better then most of the advert we have over here

[@colleshion9630]

Purple shirt is like one of those scp that requires the foundation to use a few lives just to contain/capture it.

[@Viperboi-qn5of]

Agreed

[@givemeyoureggs456]

Just a couple of D-classes

[@shivangnidevi5835]

OH YEA 😂😂😂

[@DrYeet2704]

Like SCP-106 who requires someone's femur to be broken?

[@CxsmicKiller]

@@DrYeet2704 yes

[@Blue_Shift421]

The doctor being a ref and the subtitles say his crying is [Laughter]

[@somethinfunny7114]

Former?

[@Blue_Shift421]

@@somethinfunny7114 former?

[@Blue_Shift421]

@@somethinfunny7114 i mean i am dead so somebody took my place which means im the former

[@somethinfunny7114]

@@Blue_Shift421 then how are you commenting

[@Blue_Shift421]

@@somethinfunny7114 heard heaven has good wifi and access to youtube

[@GL1TCH1N]

"No one has been harmed in the making of this compilation"

[@benneeds_a_name7398]

You Shure About That Bud?

[@GL1TCH1N]

@@benneeds_a_name7398 Yes officer

[@einienj3281]

I have evidence, that says otherwise.. 🔪

[@Human_traain]

Believable

[@Caillte_Cruleic]

Except bob… bob was very much hurt.

[@Neversad95]

0:51 never realized: the light goes back on as soon as the door opens. Thats what I call good service ^^

[@wickedshadesproductions5254]

“How man knives do you have” Purple Shirted Eye Stabber: “Yes”

[@mcmogg_incmogg2080]

When he was cured he is no longer “dying “ so contract is void seeing they only make wishes for dying children

[@ohheyitsguy]

Well, technically, the contract said to do the move until he died, which implies he will be the death of the kid. And that mean he is still dying; just not via the disease

[@freakymoejoe2]

Oh he was still dying alright

[@justanotherperson7774]

7:06 I love it how the wrestler have sparkles around him

[@turboboy350]

Kid: I want you *cough**cough* to beat me to death 😁 😳 Wrestler: THE FUCK YOU SAY?!?!?!?!

[@tcaldwe]

Not my mittens, he loves me.

[@only257]

They should make fun of the home alone reboot trailer🤣

[@bloxrocks5179]

Honestly I'm tempted to break into the cyanide and happiness offices in a purple shirt just to see what they do

[@FanaticQuill250]

Well realistically they will call the police but who wouldn't if it was the purple shirted eye stabber

[@JargonMadjin]

"It's the Purple Shirted Eye Stabber!" "No, I'm the Purple Shirted Eye Witness to the Purple Shirted Eye Stabber." "Please wear a different shirt."

[@MCDexpo]

Wasn't "the return the purple shirted eye stabber" the very first animated cartoon featuring him?

[@eggroll_5663]

Ironic

[@floatinghamstick]

Because he semi retired in the comics a long time agi

[@jackryan8588]

No, he was featured in Serial Killer.

[@renejaensch8723]

'Serial Killer' uses standard SCP Foundation methods to catch anomalous killers xD

[@1mol831]

I’ve finally found the way to go in and out of scp foundation territory.

[@RubyDoobieScoo]

Mittens clearly hasn't been eating his food, must be getting fed by the neighbours.

[@InsomniacStephens141]

Or he fed *on* the neighbours

[@GlorifiedGremlin]

Yo I subbed to this channel like 10 years ago and haven't seen a video in like 8, and then randomly found this in my feed. Why youtube? Why would you hide cyanide and happiness from me for so long?

[@floatingcloud4655]

Watch the one with ultra soldier it was really good, bumble butts and butt shark were good too

[@ber7967]

the bell

[@GlorifiedGremlin]

@@ber7967 the bell didn't exist back then

[@gabriell.4440]

The pedestrian detecting car gets me every time 🤣

[@ryankronenbitter2013]

This video has been a real…. EYESORE.

[@skelepunner745sans5]

Go away

[@ryankronenbitter2013]

@@skelepunner745sans5 no

[@skelepunner745sans5]

@@ryankronenbitter2013 Fine, Eye sorry

[@ryankronenbitter2013]

@@skelepunner745sans5 I understand. Nice stab at a pun by the way

[@skelepunner745sans5]

@@ryankronenbitter2013 Thank you

[@razark9]

Looks like justice IS blind. *epic goofy smile* Love it

[@ChipArgyle]

2:47 the Wilhelm Scream!

[@muhammadazim3374]

3:05 we did it patrick we have save Bikini Bottom

[@Mr.buranko]

7:30 thats the face of, "holy fuck."

[@gamelian]

😳😱

[@17denby]

THE FUCK YOU SAY

[@blackeyedincubus]

I’m crying in sadness but I’m also laughing so hard at the make a wish skit 😂

[@SirZubo]

0:28 This man’s voice acting in this skit gave me mordecai vibes a little bit (from Regular show)

[@palanisamy820]

Yeah it is

[@kattastic9999]

8:56 has me cackling

[@amydehne7022]

5:09 Purple Killer Guy: Dinner Time! Cat: Nope.

[@rebeccachambers4701]

8:40 really accurate about hospitals and lawyers

[@gamelian]

Sad for that boy :(

[@17denby]

I love how the parents agreed to let their son be beaten to death

[@gamelian]

7:42 Never tell such wishes 😅

[@meirbookatz8304]

"Looks like justice is blind" * and then gives this grin😇🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@roundytoon]

10:32 so anyway that's how i Lost my medical license -TF2 Medic

[@zainal9775]

0:08 funny how he told his friend to quite while Shouting loudly

[@oogaofbooga2624]

5:26 love the Hercule Poirot reference

[@AllAcacia]

Murder on the Nile!

[@oogaofbooga2624]

@@AllAcacia ?

[@Dovah_Slayer]

​@oogaofbooga2624 they meant death on the Nile

[@dreamtoonfamily]

Who else literally feels like KZbin is their best friend during Covid ? 👑👑👑🙏

[@nnadozie6190]

"THE F*CK YOU SAY?!" - Bert "The Speeding Bullet" Broadway

[@ponyonoodles6568]

I wonder where he gets all his knives from

[@blunderingfool]

Two for One Ted?

[@PolkaGang]

Magic

[@ziited5679]

dat ass

[@Garlicbreadsupremacist631]

He probably buys them from dio

[@reaganation6000]

Target

[@Scrimblyz]

Hair Kid: [ *Quietly* ] what the hell was that thing?! Cap Kid: *Proceeds to yell quiet as loud as possible*

[@Dustinvagyok]

at 8:26 how tf is the thing still beeing like kid is out of the hospital bed

[@distereo1250]

He's not stabing he's just quickly inserting the knife into they're bodys

[@Shanna_williams]

"Their eyes"

[@Grandflea02]

Stabbing* Their* Bodies* There should be a comma after "stabbing"

[@Grandflea02]

Stabbing* Their* Bodies* There should be a comma after "stabbing"

[@mesotolioma5089]

He's just poking them gently with the knife at 10x speed

[@ZGKIV]

I think that some of these ideas would be really good as a serious feature length movie.

[@TheMrNugget]

Mr Nugget hopes that everyone has a great day!! ❤️

[@ultrablueslime8216]

mr nugget should pay his taxes

[@kerbapple2069]

Pay your taxes, nuggs.

[@SpySneak]

9:20 I’m a pirate now

[@Dreggy990]

10:55 anyone notice the picture in the desk is a real person

[@IamtheoneFPV]

When the speeding bullet said the f&@$ you say? I was laughing so hard

[@HackFeSt1]

His face too🤣

[@bergerloos5014]

There was no reason at all to draw such a detailed jacket at 02:16

[@lol221beta3]

Cause why not?

[@mechateamleader4071]

12:20 some cars are good some cars are bad If one hits you, you’ll forever be sad

[@Darke_Exelbirth]

I wonder if we'll ever see Dr. Carpenter Upholster ever again.

[@Flashbang.incoming6969]

1:03 is anyone gonna talk about the fact that the knife is going inside his eye like it’s a void?

[@harsimransingh9948]

I love how stupidly funny it is so much dark humour

[@samtherat6]

I feel like a psychopath for watching this entire video and laughing.

[@princessraileysophiajanora264]

Ya gotta "let it go" bud

[@madyariel9014]

3:43 i was already choking on my own laugh

[@Dr.Dumbshit]

This man can throw a knife through glass with out it breaking or cracking

[@Sonic-BOM]

I used to be a fan, but after watching this masterpiece, I'm a whole air conditioner ⚡

[@bramgeusebroek7691]

old joke

[@blackhawkuh-6026]

@@bramgeusebroek7691 Old reply

[@ber7967]

@@blackhawkuh-6026 old response

[@vph6823]

@@bramgeusebroek7691 It's like a semi dad joke but hey! atleast his creative So thanks OP

[@TygerHillis]

@@bramgeusebroek7691shut up neighbor

[@TJM-mi1nn]

2:25 thats some skill he got

[@ryan-ge1os]

10:26 wait but if he has the material to make the table, whats the point of killing someone to make it...

[@abbywiley6467]

What's the point of NOT killing someone to make it...

[@hauntedmalk]

Why wouldn’t you? It’s super efficient

[@margauxmadman]

"owo, he stabs people's eyes."

[@imboredwby4709]

🔪wO

[@hamishmcculloch8735]

I guess you could say those people didn’t SEE that coming.

[@ber7967]

that joke is an eyesore

[@ber7967]

bad joke time you should retna sider your choice of joke become my pupil of joke telling

[@hamishmcculloch8735]

@@ber7967 LENS me some credit for mEYE EYE deal joke, Iris good at jokes, so instead of DenEYEing my iMACULATE jokes how about you sit in the CORNEAR and BROWS for more DEADeyed jokes you silly LIMBUS.

[@ber7967]

@@hamishmcculloch8735 okay

[@ber7967]

@@hamishmcculloch8735 ive lost eye admit defeat

[@tahraethestoryteller6079]

We need a crossover for purple shorter eye stabber and the homicidal carpenter doctor Their battle will be legendary

[@stupidvideos1449]

“QUIET!!!!!” Hagred asked calmly

[@I_killed_that_beard_guy]

"I will never be first, but I will always be here"

[@blackhawkuh-6026]

If you’re not first you’re last

[@I_killed_that_beard_guy]

@@blackhawkuh-6026 first last doesn't matter

[@arcsoned1112]

The fact that Mr. Eye-Stabber was free when he killed 4/5 people in front of a detective and a victim is funny to me.

[@DarkPlayerHeiAn]

I like how the eye stabber has infinity knives lol

[@judet2992]

The wrestler saying "The FUAQ you say?!" was the best.

[@redacted8472]

this was the best compilation yet.

[@lordzik8842]

Return of the eye stabber is the most plotwistyd novie ever

[@tahraethestoryteller6079]

5:34-5:40 Clue the movie in a nutshell

[@zainal9775]

3:17 prison break reference at the back ground 🔥

[@potatoplayz1782]

love these series

[@splatoonsavage7384]

Wow, he threw that knife so fast that he stabbed through his glasses without shattering them

[@ber7967]

glasses dont tend to shatter plus he can stab through skulls so i think hed be good

[@jdepaul87]

3:17 hey! It's those guys!

[@lol221beta3]

The dunno guy, the bear, the poop guy, the gun, the handsome guy and smt about cleaning guy

[@speedtnt7591]

Your ideas are just amazing ♥️♥️

[@majorgoobie5123]

You know I didn't realize it before but the voice of the detective in Serial Killer 2 is Mike from RLM.

[@YtcFaisalTV]

Awesome Content Keep it 🔥🔥🔥❤

[@unib4324]

I love the laugh that the purple shirted eye stabber makes

[@wamrainc176]

The mittens episode; I just love how he didn’t notice the bodies till the camera zoomed out lmfao

[@Glowoff-]

11:01 the dog: let me do it for you let me do it for you Kermit

[@JulianAlimin]

I saw the Serial Killer 2 one when it first came out and in a couple of Compilations in the past, but this was the first time that I noticed that the Detective's voice sounded kind of familiar. And turns out He was voiced by Mike Stoklasa from Red Letter Media aka Plinkett's voice from the Plinkett reviews. How did I miss that before

[@Cyberwraith9]

I only just realized it too! It helps that Mike has exactly three voices he can do: regular, old-timey, and Plinkett.

[@helpmereach45ksubswithoutvideo]

Fun fact: these videos makes our days better

[@NotaPlagueDoctor300]

Fun fact: You say that every upload

[@amidark6518]

That moment when you know that one guy who will buy knives from your pyramid scheme.

[@SpicySpaceCat00]

Brings me back.

[@drifty_boi1173]

1:28 bruh you cant tell me they got the character from William Afton

[@jaimejimenez8858]

Kinda seems like the C&H universe doesn’t know the definition of karma 🤔

[@Mr_FrankY]

Nice vid man🤙

[@dustinzacharias8227]

Every time I realize how Wishes ends, I immediately burst out in laughter.

[@Doobie_Fr]

1:33 be just grows a mustache

[@matthewsoucy9073]

He worn a mask under his face

[@miguelcanoura9355]

1:20 knife not breaking the glasses 🤓

[@muhammadazim3374]

Must have been Plastic

[@obscureogre4547]

Now that is precision.

[@Kyuubi451]

The purple shirt eye stabber oh my God what a throwback. Now we just need an animation of the applesauce crotch 😅

[@ItzScorchYt]

Love your vids 😃

[@robblequoffle8456]

11:27 What the hell 😳 (Not because she tore out his guts, because it had a glitch)

[@yetcutrhett5062]

Pibby

[@MinecraftMachine2000]

Anyone else notice Jimmy Williams on the wall at 3:49?

[@gamelian]

Noticed:), did you noticed me at 3:42🔪 👾

[@blacknwhitebirb]

I think the purple shirted eye stabber is my new favourite character

[@deadeye7207]

This compilation should have every C&H episode ever. It’s about true crime

[@rogeras5966]

6:37 this one wasn't illegal, it was technically true because it was on a contract

[@ber7967]

contracts dont mean you could kill someone like i couldn't sign a contract with my friend and get them to maje me commit die by force

[@rogeras5966]

@@ber7967 ok, i didn't know

[@ber7967]

@@rogeras5966 noice

[@fox_rblx9391]

​​@@ber7967 I think the contract forced him to complete the wish, and that kid wanted to be killed with the bullet buster

[@erainmartinez8175]

crazy killer! 4:25

[@casualmemesurfer2754]

No one talks about how accurate the purple shirted eye stabber is He's really on *point*

[@ashkrum5001]

10:27 he could have just made a table but he wanted a ghost table