D&D MONSTER RANKINGS - HUMANOIDS (pt. 1)

[@purplehaze2358]

I firmly believe humanoids are such a popular and iconic monster because they're a warped reflection of us.

[@esperthebard]

Most definitely

[@caplorunnin]

Oh good. Dr.Bright thinks twisted humanoids are cool. That reminds me Things Dr.Bright is not allowed to do: Dr Bright is not allowed to put D-class personnel into SCP-914 set to 'Coarse'

[@gabler7992]

name says it all, so yeah

[@classicasoftware4749]

Esper: "A turtle humanoid doesn't sound cool" ...Have you never heard of the Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles!?

[@esperthebard]

Haha well I did grow up on the original tmnt

[@kylevidauri4869]

I'll be honest my second character ever was a gnoll fighter with a penchant for gunpowder. I have yet to experience such thrills as that long ago campaign.

[@johnsenior4445]

Just why

[@preyasmanthedemopan2854]

Did they have a meniacle laugh whenever they got trigger-happy? :)

[@maromania7]

Ah yes, I'm always glad to see these videos. Partially because of their high quality and the information given in an area I'm very familiar with, partially because my opinions always differ on a good number of these. I appreciate someone clearly articulating their thought process. Whether it turns me to your way of thinking or makes me more sure of my own opinion, there's great value in seeing things from a new point of view.

[@esperthebard]

Well said!

[@Jasonwolf1495]

I think tortle needs to be redone in the lore to basically be the longest living humanoids. Elves technically might beat them through their multiple lives, but while the elves are there for a good few centuries alone, a tortle should be an extreme long living being that will see thousands of years, essentially multiplying the longevity of tortoises. This gives them a perfect place as extremely old and knowledgable creatures that end up just outlasting everything else. They don't build society the same way as things often don't last that long compared to them, and instead wander or sequester themselves preferring monastic or otherwise hermited lifestyles. You can use them in a campaign as sources of very old knowledge a party may need, ancient guardians with more personability than a golem, or if you decide to go evil that kind of age would make for a perfect puppet master. Imagine a single tortle having been around since the founding of a kingdom and learning every dirty detail and using that to blackmail and control nobility. I think it'd be terrifying seeing a multi-century old tortle draped in black robes adorned with silver as he smiles seeing you enter his domain for you are far from the first adventurers who crossed his path. Alternatively the ancient dungeon you entered seems oddly lived in, despite the moss and cobwebs you see traces of a campfire and food, when you reach the final chamber instead of a dragon you find a tortle meditating in the center of the room, behind him a large crystal bound by adamantine bars. of course this goes against the books as they have tortles living shorter average lives than humans, but like I said needs to be redone.

[@esbeng.s.a9761]

Here is a bit from real life, That yes tortle can live estremely long life but very threw does. So to comebat this they get a lot of kids. What if tortle was the same, an adverture party finds a newly build city where the only residentes are young tortle sibling because their parents simply left them behinde as they dont want to get involve and feel the pain of losing another kid again

[@patrickbuckley7259]

Making Tortle long lived is a house rule as old as the races introductions, so even grognards argee...

[@gusargoan]

Why do we need Tortles? They're stupid.

[@maromania7]

Seriously, especially as there are some species of tortoise we've actually NEVER seen die of old age, they just eventually get an infected wound or something. We have one that's 190 and still going just fine.

[@justnoob8141]

@@esbeng.s.a9761 turn out, Tortle is exactly as you described, they live very long but will die if having a baby

[@minkalampinen9519]

I've always been partial to Gnolls, something about their lore is highly appealing in that grimdark and twisty sort of way. They deserve more love and attention XD

[@IFledFromKansas]

This is gunna be my "Magic Jar Options" video. Great list as always!

[@cielopachirisu929]

Wait, what does that mean?

[@حَسن-م3ه9ظ]

@@cielopachirisu929 Magic jar spell lets you posses/take over humanoid bodies.

[@czcrossman]

So glad you’re back in full-swing Esper!!!

[@esperthebard]

Me too!

[@scorpiovenator_4736]

Finally, i have waited many years for this

[@wyattsteel285]

I actually really like the grung. They are based off of poison dart frogs and really well represent them in their design. The eyes are the same and the bright colors alert monsters and animals that they are poisonous to eat. Wizards could have made them a nice peaceful race but they didn't. And I think that's a great twist, making them utilize the poison they make and made them highly aggressive. I think that a lot of people forget the inspiration for them and don't see all the opportunities you have with them if you are playing in a jungle setting.

[@Rattus138]

im kinda not into 5e anymore and transiotioning to OSR stuff but an Esper ranking is always worth a watch :)

[@esperthebard]

Thanks for watching! May you find riches and glorious battle in your swords & sorcery adventures 💪🏽

[@Valandar2]

The Thri-Kreen actually predate Dark Sun by an entire game edition. They first appeared in a set of Monster Cards for 1st ed, then appeared in the Monster Manual II in 1st ed. They are not BOUND to that setting the way some other races are to their own settings.

[@esperthebard]

Wow I never knew that, thanks for the tidbit of edition lore. Though the thri-kreen do fit perfectly in Dark Sun.

[@Valandar2]

@@esperthebard Well, IIRC, Dark Sun was literally designed as an excuse to bring Psionics into a front and center position, and drift away from arcane and clerical magic, to make the setting more palatable to the very... opinionated... new head of TSR, who is also responsible for the words "Devil" and "Demon" being replaced with "Baatezu" and "Tanaari". They took the most powerful non-Illithid psionic creatures, determined that most fit a desert world, and then took it from there.

[@esperthebard]

@@Valandar2 I don't know if Dark Sun is right for this, but I think 5e needs a good swords & sorcery setting.

[@thegayghost872]

8:00 I would pay good money for an underwater adventure/source book that fleshes out the merfolk lore

[@aaroncunningham8307]

One way I choose to customize Skulks is to make them identity thieves, performing a short ritual on recently passed corpses that allows them to steal the victims appearance and personality while turning the body into a new Skulk. The disguise works for about a week but slowly decays afterward, with features smoothing out and knowledge/context being forgotten, followed by hostile obsession with those around them that have vibrant personalities as they target their next victim. This plays on the Skulks hunger for an identity of its own, plus can add more role playing elements beyond simple undead assassin. Imagine an evil wizard summoning a Skulk to impersonate a noble in order to gain access to a life of privilege, then having to feed the Skulk new victims in order to replace the bits and pieces of the noble that erode away, all the while the new Skulks start to escape and wreck havoc in the surrounding town.

[@esperthebard]

Excellent!

[@aaroncunningham8307]

And for anyone wondering why Skulks are so weird and lacking in terms of lore, it's because the past two iterations of them have nothing to do with the 5E version. They were literally just underground invisible humans who hate Drow and worship a giant Chameleon. They didn't even have claws.

[@OrangeKrunch1]

Another golden submission by Esper! Best rating and monster vids on KZbin! I always love seeing new ratings videos. One of the best DM tools out there

[@frankd4581]

I’m excited for D&D Monster Ranking Humanoids part 2

[@nitayrafowicz5934]

I just bought your Emporium of Esoterica and I love it! I'm a long time fan and I love your videos!! Keep them coming and thanks for the great content

[@TabletopBob]

Can't wait to dive into this one!

[@Spiceodog]

The locathah should have been a fey. It could use some neat fey like abilities and some folklore-esk lore and it easily could have gotten to high B tier if the designers put thought and care into it.

[@esperthebard]

I was wondering how the locathah could be distinguished from other fish type people. Fey could be a good option!

[@Spiceodog]

@@esperthebard it also just fits the art in my opinion. I don’t really know why it just feels right

[@esperthebard]

@@Spiceodog Maybe the seal with it is reminiscent of a selkie?

[@Spiceodog]

@@esperthebard that’s probably it

[@nategoalbevazin1387]

Another great video!! Great work yo!!!

[@jay_caspian2050]

ANOTHER DND RANKING! WHOO! thanks for doing this Esper!

[@esperthebard]

Thank you too Jay! Part 2 should be up in just a couple days.

[@fernmiranda]

Criminally under subbed channel. You do us bards proud!

[@stefanadler7015]

I used Skulk as assassins in my campaign. It went very well and now my group is paranoid about empty rooms.

[@jeffagain7516]

Regarding "Tortles". Consider if you will, an evil Level 5 Tortle Cleric, with the visual characteristics of a Snapping Turtle, in service to an Aboleth or Kraken. I can assure you my friend, that beastie will scare the hell outta players! (been there, done that, heh.) ;)

[@JLandroid]

I've stumbled across your content before and enjoyed it, wasn't subbed for some reason. Came across this today, and enjoyed it, but what really got me - every tier named for a Gojira song. SUBBED!

[@deadmanmouse2463]

Please do the monk ranking I've been waiting so long.

[@LibrarianOfLeng]

Sea Spawn sound extremely similar to the Fish Men from Bloodborne...Neat

[@squashedeyeball]

A great ranking, as always! Can't wait to the high tiers :)

[@clarkside4493]

Thri-kreen look like they're going to be in a Planescape/Spelljammer book. They were in a relatively recent UA.

[@yossiharr]

You really think after that whole circus about slavery in d&d we'll get a Darksun setting?

[@stavros2956]

Yeah, i really wish there will be a dark sun book, but no what we get are mind flayer gnomes and other cartoony monsters. Can't wait for the second part by the way.

[@TsulaAngenati2292]

I don’t fully know why, but I think the Koalinth were once hobgoblins who were searching for intel on how to beat an enemy, maybe Sahuagin or some Merfolk, but were corrupted by some Eldritch knowledge or through a pact with a sea Hag to guard some river of wisdom and eat some fish from the river and gain knowledge from it (in reference to the Salmon of wisdom in the Fenian Cycle of Irish mythology)

[@حَسن-م3ه9ظ]

Oh, wow! That's actually some pretty cool lore

[@scorpiovenator_4736]

I cannot wait for npc ranking, or plant ranking

[@preyasmanthedemopan2854]

To be fair with the Tortle, I once made a great snapping turtle-like barbarian that got insane AC and used his shell rather well, our lizardfolk barbarian helped out by having me retract into my shell and use me as an improvised weapon, slam dunking me into a high-level bandit captian to 1-shot him and scare off his lackies, he also once threw me like a Mario shell to bulldoze some weaker enemies, and even rode on me like a surf board to quickly slide down a long ramp when we were in a rush. Overall, there's alot you can do with a tortle and the creative uses of their biology is almost endless, making it one of my favorite race choices.

[@oldmanandrew]

Digging the Gojira song titles for the tiers. I see you, Metalhead.

[@esperthebard]

Gijra is one of my favorite metal bands. Fortitude was definitely a highlight of 2021, a crazy year full of highs and lows.

[@haydenwilson5433]

You make my day sometimes man

[@esperthebard]

I'm glad to know that!

[@viktord2025]

I'd like to point that every setting has a different version of the gnoll. Forgotten Realms has the whole Yehnoghu story. Greyhawk's gnolls were either made by crazy wizards, or by an evil god that wasn't Yenoghu. Mystaran gnolls were create by an empire of wizards who disappeared and left them to rampage without guidance. So why am I saying this? Because all 5th edition books focus on the Forgotten Realms interpretation. There should be examples of gnolls and orcs and other such monsters in settings besides Faerûn, but nope, it's the default setting, so that's how it must be. The lore really should be more setting agnostic, with examples on how different monsters came to be. It's a shame that isn't the case

[@joedan5366]

Here we are

[@Torthrodhel]

My favourites among these are thri-kreen, derro and firenewt. Thri-kreen gets a bump because I am irl obsessed with bees and their faces look all bee-like. :) Currently playing a Derro who's just a nice helpful guy but due to all the history and weirdness surrounding his race, and his social mannerisms being super awkward, gets treated like he's secretly up to something. Kinda love that dynamic. Love the look of the firenewts with their slightly visible ribcages and their odd way of standing upright and such, and very much like their mounts too, and I want one, and I created a firenewt character who's ready-to-go just for the good excuse to have one. The skulks seem newly-fascinating to build something around, now that I've watched this video. I'm imagining some kind of humanoid cursed to never grow up, who can therefore see them, and acts as a guide to a group of adventurers seeking something within that skulk village you mention, and gives them lanterns powered by those tallow candles for a considerable cost given the difficulty of manufacture. Imagining the scene where they're looking at a village seemingly automating its own daily tasks, and pass one of the lanterns in front of them (I'm gonna say magically enchanted to have a massive dim-light range so they can stay hidden while doing it). And getting to describe what's revealed. Sounds like a lot of fun. :) I think I don't mind the look of some of the creatures as much as you do. There are a lot of animals irl that genuinely look super-goofy, much akin to these fantasy monsters. I lean on that connection I guess. It really takes something like a Giff to get me going "nah that's too far". Locathah and tortle do suffer a little bit from the "too much just a fish" or "too much just a turtle" thing, though. As always with anything, the lower down the tiers it ends up, the higher of a kind of reverse score it gets - potential. Don't like it all of the time (nor even most of the time), but sometimes a "blank slate" can be fun. I guess that's what the draw would be for the locathah. I wish the meazles weren't called meazles, I mean, you're just saying measles aren't you? They could be much cooler with a better name.

[@ryanatkinson9622]

I did a low level arc and wanted something I hadn't used or seen in a while; and I chose Gnolls.. I was very happy with it since there was alot of expanded information after the MM. Adding cultists and demons helped as well ..

[@MrNiceguyofficial]

Hell yeah this is just what i wanted

[@vatroslavmorbidovic4105]

It is kool how you incorporate songs of metal bands into tiers. Here you used Gojira and I also saw Amon Amarth and White Zombie. 🤘

[@faizquraishi3594]

when i find your channel i realize my new self that like fantasy creatures

[@esperthebard]

Welcome Faiz!

[@Spiceodog]

Kobald press really stepped up the Derro lore

[@Centaur255]

Would really love to see an NPC ranking - some of those are very interesting, and my favorite monsters to use in dungeons.

[@the_chosen_one5642]

ALGORITH LETS GOOOOOOO

[@Arcywyrkenjoyer]

I have a idea for why Thri-kreen in non dark sun settings would savour elf flesh. Maybe due to Elves not being common in the desert, it might elf flesh to seem more exotic tasting to the mantis people.

[@RoninCatholic]

And yea, the two bards didst trade Inspiration back and forth as a free action on every of their respective turns, uttering Vicious Mockery upon their foes between the singing hiss of their axe and rapier cutting through the air and flesh with little discrimination.

[@kylekarnes4652]

I'm playing in my current group a purple grung who is trying to overthrow my father who is king of the Grungs. I want to get rid of the caste system, I saved my group from being captured by other grungs for slaving.

[@justnoob8141]

So… here’s a thing about Grung, in real world, a small and colorful frog is ridiculously poisonous on touch, as an opposite to Bullywog, which is more toward a common frog and toad you find on rainy day

[@johnsenior4445]

Mordenkainen gets super obsessed with the Shadowfell and without Ravenloft, it's next to impossible to run a campaign there

[@AzazelCain]

You tease! I need more!

[@loganricard8713]

Are you going to do a ranking of the changes to races made in the new book? Would love to see your opinion on those

[@ScythianGryphon]

I kind of like frog 🐸 folk. Imagine swamp adventure with hidden cities with single underwater entrance. Or a legend, that the frog folk used to be a society of vane people and they have been cursed by a powerful deity. They have to redeem themselves or else they will remain in reptilian state. However the frog folk have forgotten this legend and are ruled by corrupt elite. Maybe someone had learnt this secret and now they are on the run. Anyway, I really appreciate what you are doing. May your songs be many, bard!

[@charlottewalnut3118]

To be fair to the grung They essentially look like what would happen if poison dart frogs evolved to be human level smart and about the size of midgets like yes they look cartoony but most frogs happen to look cartoony especially ones that are insanely brightly colored with obvious patterns which are telling you loudly I am poisonous if you eat me you’re going to die

[@sapphirewingthefurrycritic985]

I always thought the lizardfolk was an interesting low CR humanoid when it comes to talking to them. They don't have emotions the same way we do so you can never tell what they are thinking or whether you really won them over. I wrote down in a story that the characters were kind of freaked out by the lack of emotion in the eyes of some lizardfolk they were fighting and deeply disturbed by them eating humanoid flesh. My next favorite are kobolds because their traps can be frustrating and if they felt like it, they can hit you and run into tunnels too small to follow them in.

[@pvhep4036]

Can you do a video about the Quaggoth? And what version/image do you like the most? They have evolved into a more quadruped form with 5e, giving them a more beast appeal instead of the more true humanoid look. Cheers!

[@TheGladGolem]

I hope you meant the troglodyte god “gorges” himself (as in eat past the point of satiation) rather than “engorges” himself which is a bit more uncouth…

[@esperthebard]

Good catch!

[@patrickdees5256]

Honestly, I've always wanted to play a insectoid character, and (please character if I'm wrong) when I learned about Thri-Kree being in the next ua, all I could think was, "YES" FINALLY!!

[@DaxterL]

We have a little thing each of us friends as DM's. We all have our own cliché so to speak, our typical monster or adventure theme that's always on the first levels. Boyfriend uses undead, and i'm really enjoying using gnolls, another friend uses mostly humans or humanoids most resembling humans.

[@preyasmanthedemopan2854]

To be fair, the cutesy colorful design of the Grungs Is because they're based on poison dart frogs, they're small, adorable, and brightly colored to signal that they have poisonous skin and should not be eaten. And the Grung's poisonous skin and abilities reflect that well. I don't feel a creature (especially ones like this) should be knocked down because they're "cute". There could be a good reason like this, plus alot of animals, even dangerous ones in real life too that many find to be cute, colorful, or even cartoonist to a degree. Take goofy-looking hippos, brightly-colored Tigers, or even as mentioned; poison dart frogs as examples.

[@ATG913]

The *real* monsters.

[@sampo7657]

I have a kobold rogue and a tortle barbarian and I can't tell if I want to be basic or unique

[@MegaPokefan97]

I like the idea of giving basic orcs player character levels, instead of using the regular stat block

[@thenewguyinred]

So many DnD races tend to overlap with each other. I mean what can you tell between a, Locathah, a Kuo-toa, and a Sahuagin? or a Lizardfolk and a Troglodyt? or even Dragonborn, dragonspawn, dragonkin, and draconians?

[@rayruckus4446]

I agree with you about the merfolk. However most dms don't wanna go through the hassle of retrooling a campaign to include underwater combat and swimming tandall those shifting mechanics Like keeping track of water breathing andso on. I Get it but I always feel to me like they were waiting to put out a splat book from or just Like a PDF for something in case anyone wanted to run a campaign with a more underwater aesthetic but Most people don't really care the game doesn't solenditself to truely changing environments I mean look at how much people freak out over flying.

[@kneeofjustice9619]

It’s funny how some of these are considered humanoids but look more like monstrosity’s.

[@therobotFrom94]

seeing Gojira songs as the tiers makes me a happy metalhead

[@esperthebard]

They are one of my favorite metal bands.

[@nicolaezenoaga9756]

Definition Humanoid=the first clue that tells you that you are in a magical or fantastical world.

[@frankyflowers]

are the derro still evil?

[@badideagenerator2315]

It's interesting that Thri-kreen (the monster) are humanoids when Thri-kreen (the player race) are monstrosities.

[@LandonTheDM]

"The most medium creature." Oh so it's Extra Medium.

[@Number1masksfan]

The one thing I would do for orcs is when they use there movement from aggressive it does not provoke opportunity attacks letting them go for the “cowardly” mages

[@rachdarastrix5251]

No armor can ever be better than evade. That is why corvettes are sent before battleships.

[@jm7781]

Gruna are cute, makes for a great gapmoe, like: they are cute frog people, evil and poisonous cute frog people.

[@jasonsantos3037]

Yeah there's a lot of different types of humanole monster from DMD

[@ethans9379]

“Tracing roots back to the works of Tolkien”. Yeah I guess Tolkien was probably the first to refer to goblins as orcs

[@davidthebarbarian6851]

Second humanoid!

[@MrSloth-sy3rh]

I feel like tortles would be so much better if they changed them to a alligator snapping turtle look.

[@maxxam_kayo]

It's interesting how negative you are on Tortles and Grungs style-wise. From the first 9 minutes of the video they are the ones I like most in that aspect. Probably because I find it to be a refreshing change of pace to have some more cartoonish, even cute, creatures instead of the endless varieties of creepy, edgy, ugly, monstrous beings. In my experience their style brings a lot to the table that many other monsters can't. Heck, this just inspired me to but some Grungs into my ongoing campaign.

[@danrope9897]

For me gnolls are the S-tier humanoids bar none even if I normally think animal men are meh. I understand that you'd be partial to yuanti and the more "sorcerous" humanoids.

[@shmee123ful]

I don't know why, but I kind of what to play a troglodytes but like semi tamed, not sure if that's a thing or be a good idea

[@johnsenior4445]

shouldn't a skulk be undead?

[@geoaltman9344]

I for one demand a cat-headed crocodile race! If it was arched and moved like a 🐈 it would WORK. Flat no tho

[@jamesadamsfl]

Good video, but it does highlight a problem I have with DND and similar games. Why did we need so many variations on the concept of sea-people (not counting Merfolk)? Or a new subterranean cousin for dwarves and duergar? Simply to fill niches in the mechanics? Why not make new sub-races for the established ones? Invent new societies of duergar or dwarves or whatever that can take these races in new and fascinating directions!

[@jacobstaten2366]

This just highlights how redundant, incestuous, and institutionalized the monster manual really is. In Tolkien's books, orcs were just big goblins. Players are going to be pretty familiar with most of them so it's better to either lean into it or better still, make your own stuff. The fact that you can rattle them off and we can mostly know which one you mean without even looking at the pictures proves that. These might be good jumping off points for ideas. Mermaids probably weren't covered much just because they're boring and over used in pop culture. You count literally just slap whatever abilities you want onto any behavior an any image.

[@blakebailey22]

The thing I hate most about some humanoids are the lazy animal+person concepts, ESPECIALLY herbivores. If there are, say, cow people, then can humans eat them? Can they eat beef near them? Do the cow people get offended when you eat beef? Really, is it moral to eat a sapient creature in DnD you've just killed for whatever reason? They're already dead, why not put the meat to use? Animal+people humanoids just make things needlessly complicated for world building and they're super lazy conceptually. Things like Minotaur, though, have much deeper lore and are associated with curses, THAT I'm down with.

[@notmocka]

Just use pokemon rules Yes everyone eats everything, but its taboo to do so in front of the brethren of your food

[@Derinma]

"Orcs" what kind of orc?

[@williamgoldschmidt5324]

As a DM I made all the lower tiered humanoids more interesting and so can you. Never use the books as absolute. This is a good list yet too tied to written content.

[@esperthebard]

Customizing and improving monsters is one of the coolest things about DMing. In the case of these videos, I'm just reviewing the official content in the books.

[@steveharrison76]

Whelp, gonna snag me some of that sweet hardback when it comes out!

[@Lastofthesigilites]

Ah yes. My Magic Jar applicant's.

[@telgore2561]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but troglodytes are my favorite humanoid monsters that one fan out there he is me.

[@kappelikapeli1401]

WHY TORTLE SO LOW >>>>>:::::((((((((

[@progressoverload]

The ninja turtles would like to have a word with you

[@jacksonbianco2934]

First humanoid!

[@esperthebard]

You win the initiative! What do you do?

[@jacksonbianco2934]

@@esperthebard run 🏃🏻‍♂️, me no fight

[@scorpiovenator_4736]

Where's the giff? they can't possibly?

[@starcrafter13terran]

and, of course, whether that race likes pizza or not.

[@joshuadearth2513]

Really doubt we'll ever get another dark sun supplement. The dnd writers are doing away with the darker themes that it explored. From my understanding races being inherently evil are going away, along with slavery and certain races not liking each other.

[@imoweenlodestone5447]

How about have your viewers make their own humanoid race and submit to you. Those who make the cut do videos like this

[@kevinsmith9013]

I still say being able to make a teenage mutant ninja Tortle is kool. Hater... lol

[@esperthebard]

TMNT could totally work for it's own tabletop rpg.