The Stoic Art Of Not Caring What People Think

[@unitedintraditions]

My father who is 92 and lived his life like a stoic told me once about getting offended by someone's criticism or opinion. Ask yourself "is this a person I would seek advice from? If not don't worry...if it is talk to them. Else ignore the opinions and criticism of others. In order for you to be offended you have to value their opinion"...that lives with me today and passed on to my kids

[@konstantinnaumow505]

Good one. Its always that you need to ask yourself 😊

[@Stikmanas]

but sometimes people that aren't exemplary can give good advice, even if it comes from their insecurity. you gotta filter what's true and what's not I think.

[@jontodd5462]

💯

[@moiisenmusic]

@@Stikmanas I agree, I dont like the idea of devalueing someone else so that I won't feel hurt. I think that if you're comfortable enough with yourself you won't need to use these comparative tactics to put yourself above another

[@sallycreitzman1953]

Can’t agree with you there about valuing their opinions cos you’re offended. The offence is us being highly sensitive n hits something inside of us. You don’t even have to care about the person who delivered their opinion. I agree with all the rest you’ve Sid. Thank you

[@libbyholt3863]

There's a 12-step saying I like: What you think of me is none of my business.

[@joemorton9217]

My former sponsor told me to say pretty much the same thing in my head in the beginning. His version was “it’s none of my business what other people think of me.”

[@StoicLegend_Official]

"It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it." - Seneca

[@amymartin5753]

I’ve adopted “minimalism” in my life practices and stoicism fits perfectly with that!

[@StoicQuotes365]

It’s amazing how much mental energy we waste worrying about what others think. This video is a great reminder that true freedom comes from valuing our own opinions and staying true to our principles. Who else is working on mastering this Stoic mindset?

[@PolicePoshetty]

1:18 1.focus on what you can control 1:50 2.stay on your path 3:40 3.put every impression to test 4:27 4.don't talk about it 5:32 5.respect yourself 6:51 6.you have limited bandwidth 8:58 7.look at who they are 10:14 8.practice not feeling shame 12:38 9.be your best self 13:36 10.saty on the path 14:27 11.focus on who you are

[@simonscowled9925]

aprreciate you

[@michaelgoldberg7403]

Thank you

[@a.r.8987]

Thank you

[@angelwhispers2060]

MVC most valuable comment🎉 thanks for the time stamps

[@MrAngelusPrime]

thank you very much, i consult this video very frequently, thank you again

[@AlexKashie]

Discovering Stoicism has been one most the best things that happened to me.

[@jamesquinn8958]

Honestly sometimes its not even about caring about what other people think, do, or say. Sometimes it's the way I think about myself and reflect on things I've said or done that's the problem. Caring too much about what I personally think, do, or say.

[@Fasthebaker]

Wow you couldn't have said it better, this is so me

[@ecleARTia]

So true!

[@Jordanericgolf1775]

Forgive yourself James

[@karifoto]

Well stated! 💯

[@ndemandtheman8846]

Yes, what @ericjordan9777 said, “Forgive yourself James” 💯💯💯

[@firearmdandy1640]

I was a stoic before I even knew what a stoic wad. I’m a woman. One day during an appointment with my male doctor, he asked me wad I always this stoic. After that appointment, I looked up the term and have been happily myself ever since. Thanks, doc. I appreciate the fact that I can love deeply, yet not allow any person that I love to take me down with them. I have/will cut them off with a quickness. I’ve never cared what people think about me-if I didn’t value them as a person. And, to top if off, my zodiac is scorpio and I’m an introvert. I truly love me as I am. However, I have to be honest, it an be a lonely existence if you allow it to be. I’m so at peace with myself, but humans need other humans, so I’m working on this.🥰

[@StoicEvolution1]

Marcus Aurelius: "Objective judgment, now at this very moment. Unselfish action, now at this very moment. Willing acceptance-now at this very moment-of all external events. That’s all you need."

[@jonfibonacci]

1. Focus on what you control 2. Stay on your path (euthymia) 3. Put them to the test (impressions) 4. Don't talk about it (your work - just do your work) 5. Respect yourself 6. You have limited bandwidth (losing energy focusing on other people's opinion) 7. Look at who they are 8. Practice not feeling shame 9. Be your best self 10. Stay on the path 11. Focus on who you are As always, thanks a lot! (:

[@ecleARTia]

While writing in my Daily Stoic journal I felt compelled to check your latest video and express my deepest gratitude for everything you do. And I don't care that you don't care about my gratitude. 😄 This is a fun part about being a Stoic. Thank you, thank you Ryan for all your work! Please live for 100+ years and inspire many more generations to come.

[@chrisurbi2205]

:)

[@victorsuarez3]

I've battled with this my entire life. This helps a lot.

[@StoicQuotes365]

Ryan's point about how our bandwidth is limited really hit home-why waste it on negativity when we could channel it into our growth? Stoicism is truly a superpower in today's world. How do you all keep your focus on what truly matters?

[@phant00m1]

This needs to be taught to our kids as well 🙂

[@esu3451]

3:40 3. Put every impression to test 4:27 4. Don’t talk about it 5:32 5. Respect yourself 10:14 8. Practice not feeling shame

[@dianadesilva4877]

Thank Ryan. This has been a lifelong battle, caring what other people think.

[@slsilver481]

Stoicism is the piece that was missing from my life. I am very extraverted by nature and always reached out to others for validation and had a wide social circle, but also very sensitive and was hurt many times. Stoicism is helping me so much -- with depression and anxiety, with writers' block, and with peace of mind. Thank you Ryan for your books and videos. I looked up your books at my local library and was so happy to see there are so many holds there is a wait list for each title. The world needs Stoic virtue and perspective right now.

[@Jinobe]

If you struggle against your own judgement: Do not define yourself by what is beyond your control. Realise that you are under no obligation to embody or attach yourself to self-diminishing thought. Disentangle from such thoughts by recognising that, while they are ephemeral, what constitutes you - your character, your behaviour, and that which is in your control - is concrete. Let the ephemeral stay ephemeral. Yet you may, while knowing all this, lack psychological inventory. To keep your perspective you must internalise it. Mindfulness practices - whether journalling, meditation, prayer, therapy, or simply studying psychology or human behavioural biology - are paramount. No one but you alone can map the landscape of your soul. You are the seat of your North Star. Be your own shepherd and you will find your way. Finally, always remember: everything that happens is from now on.

[@petayV8]

I moved to the USA from the UK. This country has A LOT of issues on this topic. It almost feels like it causes this wierd toxic environment wherever you go. You just feel it in the air. I love living here and feel privileged but it was definitely an adjustment mentally

[@claudsammy]

Truly timeless and profound Ryan. Thank you for all you do. I will be sending this to my teenage son and telling him to watch it every 5 years. I'm sure he will understand more each time :)

[@hugosimon2603]

We should remind ourselves of this every 5 days :p

[@RobertScholten]

As an artist, i often paint outside and some days i do care a lot what ppl are thinking but every time i push through that initial barrier I'm always glad i did!

[@thisthat5874]

Whenever I run outside with no shirt on and feel self conscious then I see someone with a bright yellow shirt rollerblading and singing I laugh and think no one is looking at me if this dude is out there 😂

[@bookishyogi]

inspiring. love this! I felt similarly when I first started doing yoga outside. I didnt have a yard and lived urban so all that’s available nearby is parks. I want to practice in nature so I find the most private place I can (that’s still safe) and focus on what I’m doing.

[@lafourcade.]

Thanks for all, Ryan.

[@CorySee]

I just had to make a pretty big life decision and changed my route forward by quite a bit. This video couldn't have come at a better time. Thanks!

[@sb6181]

The theory of not worrying about what others think is great and totally makes sense. Applying it in daily life is extremely challenging which is why we still talk about it so much. Negative judgements, insults, hate and even abuse have almost been normalised, especially online, but it’s about reframing the judgements - “their comments are not about me but an expression of😢 their frustrations, pain, rejections” and more. I often get nasty comments about my physical appearance but I now know that these types of comments are about the other person’s insecurities and rejections. Next time you see or hear someone judge someone else, remember it’s their way of coping with their insecurities and rejections.

[@jamesstrom6991]

The best way to stop caring what other people think is to stop caring what other people think.

[@Jorgedanielcr]

Thanks for your help Ryan

[@uberdonkey9721]

Alot of people say Ryan isn't a real Stoic, and it's like 'pop' Stoicism. However I feel he is living as a proper Stoic. He has the core Stoic principles and he has structured his logic to present Stoicism to the modern person. People don't care about the weird or esoteric bits on the edges of some Stoics, they care about a tool that works in their life.

[@feelbetterwithfai7781]

And on top of that, he's not pretending to be flawless. He once said "I write about stoicism, my wife lives it". He has great self awareness. He STRIVES to be stoic and sometimes succeeds, sometimes doesn't. It's life

[@Hinokami73]

1:18 1. Focus on what you control 1:50 2. Stay on your path 3:40 3. Put every impression to test 4:25 4. Don’t talk about it 5:30 5. Respect yourself 6:51 6. You have limited bandwidth 8:58 7. Look at who they are 10:13 8. Practice not feeling shame 12:37 9. Be your best self 13:35 10. Stay on the path 14:28 11. Focus on who you are

[@tefophatlane]

We care about people in the future we will never meet. Man that one hit me like a brick.

[@GaelyneGasson]

This video arrived in my Email this morning and was exactly what my soul needed. Thank you again for all the time you spend teaching, reading, learning and sharing.

[@StoicQuotes365]

The idea of focusing on what we can control rather than worrying about others' opinions is so liberating. Marcus Aurelius was right-inner peace comes from caring about our own actions, not others' judgments. Anyone else find this hard to practice, but worth the effort?

[@Dcent_K]

This philosophy is bigger than just simple daily tasks, but it is the moral foundation of how we have lived and will live in the future. A lot of things that we believe today come from negative or fearful mentalities that we adopted and overtime became things that we see as standards. Only until we completely learn from what’s within us (meaning we can learn from outside, but evaluate from within) will we be the truth. This is the Game. 💯

[@InnaLight3.14]

I practice Stoicism on a daily basis and as an Instructor in a prison, I bring it to my students. They, too, find it invaluable. Thank you!

[@makeitmakecentsmarketing]

It's so hard to not care about what others think considering that most of the times we do things for others

[@John-gm7hh]

This lesson will be my driving force in 2024. Thank you Ryan!

[@deannilvalli6579]

The rather obvious flaw here is that society is based on the principle that what other people think of us- their criticism, praise, or judgement- plays an essential role on assigning us our place in society. It also functions as a control mechanism for people who are abusive or dangerous to society when they break social rules and norms. When others give me good grades, I can get into higher education and raise my position. When others promote me at work, I get a better and more powerful position, and also material security for myself and my family. And when others condemn me (rightly or wrongly), I face negative consequences, from social disapproval, to loss of position, to prison. So I find it hard to pretend that people should not care what others think of them. There are some very good reasons we do care about it. I am merely expressing a counter argument here- I like the stoic philosophy, I just don't see how it is always implementable.

[@ivanvaughn369]

Exactly what I was thinking

[@paperclipcereal5896]

The false opinions of others almost got me killed and I'm still not sure how to get over it. Appreciate the wisdom.

[@bhavya8298]

You’ll surely do it! 🫶🏻

[@SHORT-FRIDAYS]

Stoicism works unless you need things from other people; I purposefully weed out confident people from giving them work in sales; I help the less confident; Heavy is the hand that holds the pen that writes the checks

[@vent3089]

uff...this video is so good. Helps so much with anxiety problems...yup respect from terrible people is not needed...none is in need of any of that at all

[@8bitstriker138]

I honor your videos in stopping them halfway through. You give me an impulse to work on my things Ryan. And so I do! thank you so much for guiding me on my path. Meditations is important to me!

[@johannaweber9023]

Wow! This is actually the best content in your channel so far Ryan! I feel it! I want to follow these tipps! Thank you a lot!!!

[@vincent2053]

Awh pfp

[@joeycredible]

It's very wise on a certain level. Every situation is so individual. Lots of gray area in life. Definitely food for deeper reflection.

[@alexhenderson321]

Thank you Mr. Holiday for posting this content. Your podcast helped me so much through challenging career changes, interpersonal relationship highs and lows, and my own growth on the journey of living fully and being the best version of myself. I just finished your book the Daily Stoic and look forward to reading copies of Trust me I am lying and Conspiracy; if anyone out there has other recommendations please do reply!

[@maryweaver266]

My mom is 90 years old and STILL worries about what other people think about her!☹️

[@leyahruizdeloreto6420]

Sad, what we fail to teach our children, and sometimes what we do teach them. I'm glad you're here, because you obvious know better.❤

[@aaronwimberleymbamsf5776]

Love the concept of euthemia- I think that it ties back into the core Greek Philosopher "school of thought" of the Peripatetics. Many of our roots of organized thought/rhetoric/poetics comes from this ancient western philosophy- Kairos, logos, mythos, pathos, ethos- these are what we have to have guide us as a true north star.

[@Mi.MiEspacio.]

I needed to hear this. One of the hardest things to accomplish.

[@PsychologyWorksOfficial]

Regarding #8, in CBT, we call it “shame attacking exercises.”

[@kimchristianson4743]

thank you. I really needed this message today ... and every day.

[@vladdyydaddy]

This just saved me cuz I was getting ready to lash out of anger

[@ralucaapostol4652]

[@aliyukolo9295]

Jane was my hope during the ‘bear summer’s last year. I did so many mistakes but also learned from it, and of course she is also my number source when it comes to crypto and TA.

[@luckyree3841]

Jane was my hope during the ‘bear summer’s last year. I did so many mistakes but also learned from it, and of course she is also my number source when it comes to crypto and TA.

[@ralondarogers563]

I know Mrs. Jane too and I have been trading with her, she is such an amazing woman and her skills keep me happy all week knowing I earn $10k extra income trading with her

[@martinvaisman8578]

Her accurate singles, coupled with her sound advice and risk management techniques, have completely transformed my trading trading strategy.

[@jameslarry3919]

Exactly investing right today can save you a lot of stress in the nearest future

[@aubreytraverse.]

This fricken resonated with me so much thank you for this Ryan

[@ck-4203]

One pointer word: Inspiration Pay attention and focus on what inspires you to create and.flow from the inside out. Everything else is negative - filter it out By default you will likely then stop caring about what others are thinking and doing. And you may then realize most of what society offers is garbage can of superficial negative distractions that make you physically and mentally sick.

[@victorchun7295]

instead of judging yourself, ask yourself what can you do to improve this situation, this is the only thing you can control! Very nice video, very inspiring

[@DiegoB0525]

Thank you, Ryan.

[@stoicbond]

Great video, Ryan! Keep spreading the message!

[@electrodynamicorb6548]

They don’t care about me. Why should I care about them?

[@reign7191]

Yr perspective convicts me to my naked state of denial..

[@3ZOZ1KSA1BOY]

It’s the difference between the signal and noise. Focusing about what people think about is you reacting to noise. Focusing about what you can control is reacting to signal. Choice your reaction wisely

[@jimmyhart3191]

Nah this is how you end up isolated, unfulfilled, and miserable. This is the mindset that results in massive inequality, and horrible crimes, separating yourself from others is not an answer for life.

[@sarahkennedy1481]

You can still help and love others along the way but people can destroy others via words and actions so it is about being self confidence and fixed on goals. It is also to avoid marketing and go for what you like

[@jimmyhart3191]

@@sarahkennedy1481 Being self confident and understanding yourself more are all good and fine but that doesn’t address the trap of being caught in nothing but ego, going beyond ego is the first step to actually being free. You might like some lectures by Ram Dass, I recommend searching Ram Dass Relationships, watch the one where he is sitting in the van

[@johnnotgiven9219]

How can you cite being 'distracted' when maybe one really has no purpose of own's own beyond encountering someone else's path.

[@Skooter88]

🙏🏾

[@jimmyhart3191]

Strict rules for life these type of guys try to push are just silly things they come up with to make money

[@katieknowhow]

Thank you very much. I think this is where I will consciously start to make a difference in my life.

[@nicolenadia1]

It’s really hard for me to respect anyone pimping out Better Help. Do a deep dive into that company and you’ll understand.

[@sx1nsty]

Better help is amazing putz! I used it after being narcissistically abuser by my ex! The therapist helped me through all of my issues..

[@ityou5874]

PIMPIN!

[@ArtByHazel]

Love the Stoics profound wisdom that is still relevant today.

[@davidmarin8520]

thank you Ryan

[@TheDiverBob]

I can appreciate this approach, but I am always caught by the question “what do I want?” In essence, how do you start? I respect myself. When I hook on something, I follow it through with discipline, etc. but what I have never found is that THING, that passion that can hold the attention and focus I can bring to the table. I have a hard time advising my sons because of this. I have been relatively successful in all of my ventures in life. At 50, I have never been fired, never not performed well, never not reached a goal I truly set… and yet I have not succeeded in finding a driving focus. This leaves me believing I can attain great things if I only find that thing to achieve. Otherwise, there is no meaning behind the success even for myself. So I ask for input… how does one begin?

[@everettminer]

Eloquently put like always. Thanks Ryan

[@abstracks]

00:00 🧘‍♂️ *Stoic philosophy and focus on what's in control* - Stoic lesson: Focus on what you control to make a difference. - Critically important: Neglecting one's own thoughts and actions by being preoccupied with others is counterproductive. - Marcus Aurelius emphasizes tranquility when you stop caring about external opinions. 01:13 🤔 *Comparisons, envy, and finding happiness* - Stoic principle: Avoid comparing yourself to others, as you don't control external circumstances. - Warning against envy and jealousy: Comparisons steal joy and happiness from oneself. - Happiness lies in tying oneself to personal actions and words, not others'. 02:09 🎯 *Emia: Discipline, staying on course, and strategic planning* - Emia definition: A sense of one's path without distraction from others' paths. - Discipline for success: Staying focused on what makes you great, adhering to principles. - Importance of strategic planning: Avoiding distractions for personal happiness and success. 03:36 🧠 *Testing impressions and avoiding false assumptions* - Stoic practice: Put every impression to the test, question assumptions. - Importance of truth: Avoid falling prey to false beliefs and assumptions. - Critical thinking: Ask whether assumptions are true, based on evidence. 04:18 🤐 *Stoic actions: Doing without seeking validation* - Stoic behavior: Act on what you're doing, not seeking validation or approval. - Epic Tia's wisdom: Be content to be seen as foolish in the pursuit of improvement. - Importance of action: Work on projects without talking about them for maximum focus. 05:32 🌟 *Self-respect, character, and internal validation* - Joan Didion's insight: Self-respect frees one from external expectations. - Confidence from within: Respect emanates from holding oneself to a certain standard. - Worthy of success: Being internally worthy is better than external validation. 07:12 🧘‍♀️ *Mental bandwidth and focusing on meaningful work* - Limited mental bandwidth: Dwelling on others' opinions diminishes focus on meaningful work. - Importance of focus: Constantly thinking about others' success hinders personal capability. - Mind's bandwidth analogy: Devote energy to what truly matters, not external distractions. 08:38 🤝 *Stoic response to criticism and understanding critics* - Stoic approach: Understand critics, look at their character, and don't strain to impress them. - Don't seek approval: Spending energy on gaining approval from people you don't respect is counterproductive. - Stoic strength: Being comfortable standing alone and doing the right thing despite criticism. 11:29 🚫 *Stoic practice of not caring about future opinions* - Stoic insight: Longing for posthumous fame is irrational, as future opinions are unpredictable. - Focus on self-evaluation: Care more about your own principles than the opinions of others. - Value internal scorecard: Measure yourself against your own values, not external opinions.

[@thisthat5874]

Whenever I run outside with no shirt on and feel self conscious and then I see someone with a bright yellow shirt rollerblading and singing I laugh and think no one is looking at me if this dude is out there

[@rachaelo7183]

And that’s why those people are heroes 🦸‍♀️ 🦸‍♂️

[@thestoiclives]

Forget and Move Be Stoic

[@Haydrn]

Respect yourself is a game changer. I realize you can only respect yourself if you do things that you would respect in someone else. You can’t be a lazy bum and magically respect yourself.

[@et313]

Thank you Ryan. This was what I needed reminding of today.

[@mr.ninguno]

Ryan your work is the best. This turned my mindset, it was something necessarily to hear, and I'm totally sure that will happen with all the people that watch this video. Keep doing this.

[@igortijanic7466]

Bro this concept saved my mind in hard times, but what i learnd was universal one And that was "moderate with everithyng for real happines". Including stoicism

[@sarahkennedy1481]

I used to lack confidence and care now I live alone I realise I pay my bills they do not and most people when push comes to shove, few will be with you in hard times. Many jealous or will use or stab you in the back. Keep close bosom pals and be kind to others but do not care what most think of you.

[@gregorymichael9031]

Thank you for all of the great daily wisdom! Up the iron's brother!💪🤘🌅

[@ajmacbeth]

I deeply appreciate The Daily Stoic's explanations and teachings as they truly help explain the difficult-to-read ancient texts. This video, in particular, speaks to me in exactly the way I need to hear.

[@kingsta4145]

Such an underrated video!!! I learnt so much

[@twowheelz10]

I've been a fan of the Daily Stoic for a while now, and nice to see you're also a fan of Maiden. Rock on!

[@R.oboCop.]

Thanks for the advice!

[@nigelcristobal1185]

My struggle is how to apply this to actual important people I love: my wife, my family, my mentor. Because I treat them with respect, but maybe this concept reflects my ego as well.

[@jimmyhart3191]

This concept is entirely ego, entirely. Human connection is the heart of life, how can distancing yourself from that make your life better, it’s just silly, many people in denial like this guy

[@nigelcristobal1185]

@@jimmyhart3191 thank you for the reply jimmy. To be honest i was in a bad place when i made that comment. It was truly my ego talking and seeking to isolate instead of seeing myself reflected through my loved ones. But i also have to clarify that sometimes i also have to think of how to take care of myself. To dettach and see the situation as a whole in order to truly see.

[@jimmyhart3191]

@@nigelcristobal1185 yeah 100% definitely necessary to take a step back sometimes. I hope you don’t think I was referring to you though you seem introspective and aware, I was meaning the concept the guy in the video was trying to get across and how he’s reduced his friendships and closeness with loved ones to “achieve” something

[@history_by_lamplight]

Thank you. ❤

[@ianfeatherstone3912]

Great video, thank you Ryan 😊

[@steph1320]

You are one of my favourites authors! I hope I can meet you one day and say it in person. Come to Stockholm!

[@hugomedeiros3197]

Just what I needed to hear. Great video.

[@wookie110240]

Thanks Ryan ❤‍🔥

[@dosethree-q6b]

Criticism should be judged on its own merits - it doesn’t matter where it comes from. It’s something you can use, or not.

[@lutaayam]

I needed this video today

[@jammiemathewstang6671]

Thank you

[@dimensionstomorrow]

This really helped. Thanks.

[@ladyellensings3666]

Very good indeed!

[@michaelnottas3727]

thank you

[@jayinscottsdale2001]

Great ad. Loved the content. Now gotta find a friend to get one for.

[@JoseCruz-hr7gv]

Thank you so much for your videos, keep up the good work. I will buy the trilogy of your books: The Obstacle is The Way! 😊

[@metal1999]

Hi Ryan probably one of the best instructive videos Ihave had the pleasure of listening to in a long time God Bless

[@OtakuOG]

Thanks Ryan! Great content!

[@tenminutetokyo2643]

You are the only thinker in your universe.

[@clevelandgirl3226]

Profound advice!

[@BreatheChristian]

its hard but i'm still going to try

[@anastasiaoktay3703]

Thank You 🙇🏻‍♀️🙏

[@justamovie]

Great content as always. Also appreciate the Iron Maiden T-Shirts. Also appreciate the Joe Rogan discussion.

[@garyb2392]

One can’t be too sad…he lived how he wanted, accomplished a lot on his time on earthz