21 lessons I learned in 2021 / a year in isolation

[@dakotawarren]

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[@hentai7444]

It’s you! I found you on TikTok ages ago where you said you worked on a book shop, had an English degree and wanted to write books and I’ve not stopped thinking about that video, I’m doing an English degree soon. I recognised your fearless tattoo, and your subscribers are 55.5k so I’m taking this as a sign

[@morbidswither3051]

“We are all afraid of the world ending.., whether you like living or not.” That’s a very good line, girl. Overall the best video I have watched on the Internet this year.

[@kristinandj]

My biggest lesson was that every relationship is a mirror of what triggers me the most about myself

[@user-yf6lc7sq3i]

So true

[@melisalovin5052]

i feel attacked

[@sanrihoe777]

that part

[@evasage14]

oh my god yes

[@laurenpace9954]

the thing that came to me was that nothing will get done if you don’t do it yourself. you can’t just whine and complain when something isn’t how you want it. you are the only person who can get you to where you want to be.

[@alyeska9849]

This is exactly what I thought as well

[@breannaguidotti7336]

I learned the importance of documentation in my life. Without writing, photography, or some other form of concrete reflection of moments, I find that they drift too easily and are lost. thank you for sharing such a beautiful video

[@inkpotgoddess3396]

what i learned this year, though i'll admit a part of me wish i didn't, is that grief has so many faces, and each of them is necessary. people are always talking about how you'll grow out of your grief, even when you're in the core of mourning everyone's saying how good it'll be once it's over - but grief is a good thing to feel, it allows us to release what would else consume us from inside out. and it doesn't just end, it doesn't get smaller with time, it's you that grows around it.

[@whataheavenlywaytolive]

This is exaclty what i have come to realise as well. People tell me "you'll get over it", "oh don't worry, you'll move on" but you will never "get over" and "move on" from someone's life. They will always be with you, the feeling will always be there, it'll just change shape. You can do beautiful things with grief once you learn to accept it and stop feeling like it needs to end. Grief evolves as you evolve. It's true that as time goes by it becomes less debilitating but it will never go away and it doesn't need to go away. I think for me personally, it was more scary to think that I would move on.

[@alyeska9849]

The biggest lesson I learned this year is that it is okay to not have a plan. I don't have a dream job, I don't know what I wanna do. But my life isn't defined by my career. It's okay to not know

[@vont.ian080]

thank you

[@marydarko3380]

loving the vibe we’ve created this evening

[@celluloes]

my biggest lesson, i think, has been that i can be okay by myself and that we as humans will always prevail in finding something that brings us peace - whether long-lasting or momentary. if not now, then someday i will be okay.

[@phychomaniac26]

I learned this year that it's okay to fail and the mark of your character is how you handle your failures, not whether you failed in the first place.

[@lucasdegregorio2461]

no. 21: One day your journey will end, but until then always keep going. Life's hardships are often compared to a mountain you have to summit, but really that slope only ends when you do and the trick is to see how high you can go. One should only remember that they do not have to keep moving all the time- take a break; enjoy the scenery.

[@thahirah11]

Please dakota, start a podcast. I legit downloaded this video so I could listen to it everyday because your voice is soothing and the words you use are engimatical and I love decoding it. with love Hira

[@danicafinnerty4458]

a lesson will not stop burdening you until you spend time to learn it

[@ruebamford4265]

I’ve learnt that the journey of self love is actually really gritty but so so so worth it. And I’m grateful to be connecting with my core in such an intimate and precious manner I hope that everyone gets to experience that feeling

[@enamono7033]

The main lesson I learned is actions only mean something if I care about them. As soon as I stop thinking and worrying about what I've done, it doesn't have an impact on me.

[@LilyBugInterrupted]

I fell into the depths of depression and anxiety to the point where I wanted to rip my skin off at one point. As time passed, I learned to take it easy on myself, for everyone is different. I don't necessarily have to hop on the bandwagon of diligently following the timeline that everyone sticks to and regards of great importance. It's totally okay to take things slowly even if I meet my success later in life. Age and time are just mere social constructs, and I shouldn't let them destroy me. That's my most important lesson this year. May I never forget it.

[@elisabethh.5891]

What I have learned this year is how important human connection is - with yourself and others and that you have to choose wisley who to surround yourself with. It really makes a difference

[@zeeshanseraj4944]

everyone needs philosophy, now more than ever

[@TheRadical0ne]

This year I learned not to go back for them, that all relationships eventually end. And this isn't only about dating. This started pretty early on in the year for me, as I went back to my birth mother for visitation bi-weekly to try to regain some of the childhood I lost- only for her to attempt to murder me. I thought I had a girlfriend, but we slowly both realized we were aro-spec and were forced to move on. I thought I had two amazing bestfriends- when in reality one of them had turned out to be racist. . In all of these moments, I had fought myself in the urge to run back to them or be selfish and dishonest and say "it's not over yet". It is, and that's okay. I might not have a mother anymore, but I've stepped up into that position for my younger brothers. I might not have a girlfriend anymore, but we continued to be close and I found someone else I might be interested in. I might not have two best friends anymore, but one of them is the reason I wake up everyday and has become my platonic partner. Life carries on, and so will you.

[@n.3167]

PLEASE DO ANOTHER READ WITH ME! ITS A FAVORITE I WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN

[@lucasjennings6084]

My lesson is very cringe, but it’s been very helpful, as someone who suffers serious bouts of self loathing and pity. However; as long as you’re alive, you have the chance to be happy.

[@microsoftman5]

Vulnerability is key for mankind, it's going to bring us closer together and we can't let our FEAR of vulnerability eat us alive.

[@anjahitertinauer5316]

My conclusion of 2021: My happiness only depends on me, myself and I and not the people I sorround myself with. I love this video btw

[@memememelouderthaneveryoneelse]

18:00 I think I’ve learned that I don’t want to be someone who never changes, and hold on so tightly what has been done to me in the past that I can’t move on. Also you’re agonizingly articulate, I cannot wait for the release of your book!

[@nubedealgodon311]

21, the pain doesn't disappear, you just find it a space and if you are lucky, it will occupy less with time, but i will probably never disappear.

[@saarak1591]

I have learnt that the desperate longing to be percived a certain way was not only killing me but also not authentic to myself

[@claudiafontcasany9004]

Your videos denote such a calm but wise aesthetic. I just love them

[@wannabehuman]

I learned this year that life doesn’t work out if you face it with indecision. A sure decision is better than an unsure one even if it’s wrong. Regret from inaction is worse than regret from action. This lesson was costly.

[@bookinit5216]

I learned that no matter how much you don’t want it to be true, no matter how much you might despise vulnerability, you need to be vulnerable with (some) people. You need to connect with them and help them and if you do that, you’ll be the better for it.

[@sagadotter3882]

The lesson I learned in 2021 was, it's okay to talk to people. you are allowed to tell people what's going on and what's bothering you, that doesn't make you a burden to them. If your feeling fucking awful today you don't have to say 'I'm fine' to not bother your friends, if they are your friends they want to know and you can just say 'I'm having a bad day' or 'I'm not feeling great', no explanation needed if you don't want to, but you should also not be afraid to tell them what's going on if that's what you want

[@GanzB]

Dreams come true. The biggest dreams you ever dared imagine. Dream big, dream intuitively and whatever you do very, very cautiously 2021.

[@artbyrened]

i have two life lessons that have made me the person i am this year. The first is obvious but something i didn’t fully understand till this year and it’s that people are gray were all products of our environment nobody is all good or all bad every perpetrator is also a victim. The second i truly lived this year and it’s that sometimes things have to get better for you to realize how bad they were. This kind of prolonged grief is natural and necessary at times, it’s okay to grieve what you lost a decade ago it’s okay to grieve a relationship you thought was perfect before your rose colored glasses were removed and it’s part of healing.

[@componentsofcalamity]

this video was so beautiful. I'm not great at reflection, but I cried when you asked me to summarise what I've learnt this year. It was this: that failing something you really want is better than not trying to get it at all. thank you for this video xx

[@graydonpanzica330]

"Everyone you love is the most important person you know. Don't take your time with them for granted." That's my conclusion.

[@Elena-lg3mh]

Dakota is a living, breathing classics book

[@elenaapostoliou]

Not caring what others think about me has honestly changed my life for the best, just express yourself however you want

[@morbidswither3051]

I learned that there is something horrid about this reality, something disturbing, that one can do the right thing but it can feel so wrong. Learned that more than just suffering, there is a senselessness to suffering. Not an arbitrariness, this is also so and we’ve all, sooner or later, discovered this. But that all the little rules and constructs are like Legos to barefooted step on, and you can be a monster and angel at the same time. And you can strangle a cat to end its suffering. And the trauma can make you phobic of copper and of salsa, and scared of love itself. I agree with you, Ms. Warren, there is something inspiringly brave about declaring your fears. I learned a lesson this year, a lesson in culpability. Another instance of me seeing trauma as a teacher, or perhaps a guide.

[@natbatrat-d7e]

time goes on so absurdly fast and that is terrifying, but it means that wounds can heal pretty fast

[@meritxell2614]

this is absolutely wonderful PD: you gave me visual ASMR tingles, I would love you to do an ASMR video talking about books

[@prathyushalisa197]

That nothing is permanent happiness,joy, euphoric feeling it's all fleeting so are the bad ones that feel of being stuck will pass

[@albagarciaalvarez8700]

The most important thing I've learnt this year is that there are many people in this world who are capable of understanding me, who think and feel and want the same things I do. I'm not special or unique and that's great, because it means I'm not (and I won't ever have to be) alone.

[@laindarko3591]

My biggest lesson of 2021 was that oftentimes, having the wisdom to know when to quit is more valuable than determination. Being a "hard worker" is an overrated trait. Do what ya need to do, then get outta there and have some fun.

[@MoeffMaehUndMuh]

I learned that Home is important and that moving back can be so healing.

[@arshiyaamreen5808]

What I learned this year was that it was solely my choice to not be open and vulnerable to people. It's a cycle of me projecting a 'I have 2 brain cells and neither of the 2 are capable of producing any form of complex emotions' personality, people around me falling for it and never bothering to look twice at what at least I consider, pretty obvious signs of help. So now, I am stuck in a place where I truly just have my own self helping me out during my times of struggle. Fun.

[@erinosborne9353]

despite the inner longing we feel for the picture to be complete, the swift movements of the brush will never come to a complete stop. there will be ups and downs, the colours may fade over time, but there will always be the marks on the canvas, the marks only you can make.

[@penelopellama992]

Wow this is very beautiful

[@khhk6439]

one lesson I learned this year and live by is to sorround myself with calmness in every aspect of my life.

[@zaltheapulido9867]

what came to my mind was how there is comfort in solitude. being alone can be terrifying - it feels like treading on a tightrope without an arm to lean on - and that’s okay. because in solitude, you have yourself. you self-reflect on your life, your personality, your mentalities. you find out more about yourself. you can be who you truly are. you don’t have to put up an image or appearance to people. you can simply just be.

[@halimalol2624]

Let people love you. Let them know you love them. Let them leave. Appreciate what they gave you, how much you learnt from them.

[@astrocat345]

I love people, I am amazing and there is value in every interaction ever done

[@sage_aurielle]

i learned what love is, friendship wise and romantic, it’s far different than i’ve ever thought. it’s wonderful, even if it hurts so much sometimes (including right now)

[@jamesclarke8323]

I hope you’re doing well

[@saramijajlovic1423]

words can hurt more than any punch.the words that we say can kill someone,can shatter their heart,souls,brain,kidneys,lungs,everything.its as simple as opening our mouth and saying letters,whom create words then sentences creating pain.

[@polarispien8072]

number ten really took me back to secondary school English, when we talked about Shakespeare. it's a timely reminder to get, I've almost forgotten whose script im supposed to play, for so many times this year. ty :))

[@bugeye1917]

in 2021 i learned that i am not an angel that can do no wrong, i am not always the victim, i unintentionally hurt people and i was completely oblivious to it because i was so self absorbed.

[@spacecowboy6342]

these are 12 things I learned this year: 1. people don't always act the way you expect them to 2. sometimes it's better to ignore than react 3. it shall pass and you'll understand why it happened in the long run 4. doing what you want and what you love is the only way to go about in this life 5. trying to please one person will only disappoint another so live like nobody cares. 6. don't disclose every information, your goals and wishes 7. not everyone deserves your respect 8. everyone is battling their own problems so focus on yours 9. losing weight doesn't bring you happiness or satisfaction, you start wanting better and better results and it will leave u in agony 10. grades don't validate your worth or intellect 11. everything can be achieved if you manage your time correctly 12. it is OKAY to have downfalls and days when you don't want to get up from your bed.

[@spacecowboy6342]

oh and i forgot: don't waste your time on boys who periodically ignore you.

[@jememe5209]

biggest thing i’ve learnt is that everyone fucks up from time to time and it’s mostly not because they are inherently evil but because they are dealing with shit. don’t take it personally (mostly) if someone takes it out on you.

[@emiliabugueiromeyer8166]

Dear Dakota: I found your channel and started watching with no expectations really, but you made me fall in love with words❤️ I’ve always been a reader, but thanks to you, whenever I found a beautiful sentence I just want to scream it so everyone can hear it Love you

[@margheritacontu]

21. from a moment of pick and explosion will arise rebirth. the caos creates calm. (i’m sorry if it’s not grammatically correct)

[@craigkubica3824]

I reached two conclusions. The one in 2021 was to seek comfortability in lockdown. As much as their was panic and distress. Getting to spend more time with my family. Doing activities together such as puzzles and listening to music was some of the best times I’ve had in recent years. Whilst the lockdown felt like a loss to many for various reasons, it felt like more of a gain to me. The second conclusion I’ve reached at the mid point of 2022 which isn’t earth shattering but has been useful to me. Don’t get jealous over other people’s success as all that will do will entrap you in negative energy. Instead express happiness for them show your support. It’s likely those positive feelings will link in with the person well and not only will your friendship/relationship grow but you’ll feel better about how it got to that point. 🙂

[@taryn.kaelyze]

how being alone is okay, you can learn so much about yourself. I used to not enjoy it but I love it now I can understand how I am feeling

[@nyx8103]

I learned that your delusions will be shattered one by one just by experiencing your live. It is overwhelming when your entire world view gets destroyed but getting on step closer to truth is extremely rewarding, whatever truth might mean to you. It is also very comforting to know that I'm ever-evolving and won't fall into mind numbing stagenation, at least not forever.

[@Iloveauds]

my most valuable lesson i've learned is that surrounding yourself by positive media and activities makes living and socialising a lot easier

[@doveslizleskiss2956]

i don't know what i learnt this year... when you made me think about it, the only thing that came to my mind is that i need to stop seeking validation from others and pursue this ''dream teenage lifestyle'' because not having it was the only thing i focused on and fixating on the lack of something is really bad for my mental health and self love. if i can try to summarise it, the lesson i learnt this year, i despise 2021 but, it is ''just live and everything will figure out itself''. to anyone reading this, don't let anyone - social media, people in your life, your thoughts, time in general - to control you and make you fear. You _will_ get wherever you want, just by living. don't stress on what you don't have, and trying to achieve something that's labeled as ''the right thing to do''. this may be so confusing, but i understood what i wanted to say. thank you, Dakota, with asking such a simple question now i feel ready to forgive myself and start living. just living, and that's enough.

[@breadbaskets2772]

First time noticing the tattoo, looks cool.

[@TeeundGeschichten]

I love more deeply than I ever thought was possible.

[@Ariana-vc3df]

Lesson 21: Life is too short to not do what you love ❤

[@juliamorrie]

write your feelings down, write your thoughts down, write your dreams down, write everything down. it will help you get to know and understand yourself better.

[@augustin19tube]

lesson 21: BE the source of your own happiness (this is a clustering together of the ideas: - one shouldn't depend on external things - allow yourself the bliss that is to be felt, when acknowledged - an appeal to DO IT)

[@tabithafahey1017]

i learnt alot about mysle i learned about love and how painful life really is i learned this year that no matter how many material objects you surround yourself in it can never fill that dark void inside you which is loneliness its a void that is painful so you ignore it and step around it you buy stuff to fill the void but at the end of the day its still there and when you have no one it only becomes more unberable as time stretches its harder to ignore it just gets bigger no matter how often i tell myself im ok with having no one and being lonely forver and i want that for myself i know thats not true im young i feel lonley and out of place i just wanna tear of my flesh and melt into my bed its scary, ovcerwhemling being lonely is scary and overwhelming

[@marcusr4711]

sometimes the thing that hurts most ends up being your greatest comfort later on

[@Hannah-us2cu]

i learnt that you have to be comfortable in yourself to be truly comfortable around other people - and this is how you build deeper connections

[@i72638040]

"To exist is to perform so we dance". It sounded so beautiful

[@EEarle]

21. thoughts are not what they seem. I really can't summarize this. but I resonated with your lesson on the fool, I was just struck with understanding even if there wasn't an objective explanation; the words you used just made sense.

[@ayahwolf4928]

it is okay to be loved

[@zeynepnursozer]

The way you talk and express yourself is so mesmerizing 🤍

[@josiiii444]

gratitude is the key to every door you will ever come across

[@mubturmubt5097]

The lesson i’ve learned in this year is to be capable of walk by yourself , be by yourself , talk with yourself due to the fact that you have to your best friend and it’s kinda relaxing and pleasing i enjoy to fell liberty and independence i love isolation sometimes and honestly i used to be the individual who addicted by internet and go in for gossip stuff and it was so negative and bad i love talk with lake and trees as well

[@cloud9481]

What would i do without you dakota?…❤️ you are so inspiering, so intelligent, poetic, loving..my intellect is not good enough to describe you in words..❤️your videos never fail to comfort and calm me down..i’m forever greatful for you.even if i don’t know you, nor have i met you in person. However i still love you with all my heart❤️

[@natasham4184]

This feels like a late night chat at a sleepover and I love it Edit: You said exactly what I was thinking 😂

[@slimeyvampire5399]

i learned that the inescapable grapple to escape immorality is an impossible climb but that we ultimately reflect warmth by the way we no i actually dont know this one has me stumped im still trying to find contentment in a world where everyone hurts everyone

[@fatemakh96]

Number 20 hits hard

[@mayamemories]

this year i learned that i don't need to follow a set of rules, i don't even need to create my own. i can expand wherever i want and make my life as beautiful as my dreams can be. also that, no matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to fully understand another person. because you'll never be in their head, live what they lived, see what they see. it's not a shame to not understand, it's completly okay.

[@throughcolouredglasses9300]

My biggest lesson this year was Do The Boring Stuff. You know, the stuff you know you should do like warming up before exercise, at least trying to sleep enough, drinking water, all the stuff we all get tired of hearing and even more tired of doing. Maintenance. It's an act of self respect. Care for your own mind an body the way you'd care for your pets or siblings wellbeing, the way you'd care for that thing you borrowed that's very precious to a person you love. It's so boring and I've been so bored of knowing this cause we all hear it growing up. But fuck man. So much of "doing the work" to become happier, to ultimately feel at peace or at least content with yourself isn't fancy self discovery trips or drastic life changes. It's the boring tiny minutia of every day. Every small-ish decision to take that risk with your body, climb that unsafe thing, or take the extra second to pull back your shoulders before gripping above your head, that moment to make sure your feet are stable before you keep going. Putting that emotional, impulsive text you were gonna send into your notes and going to bed first. They're all tiny kindnesses to yourself. But you don't really understand just what an impact they have until you've fucked them up.

[@crystaljefferphetamine]

the best and most relevant lesson i've read in the comments. thank you for this!

[@throughcolouredglasses9300]

@@crystaljefferphetamine Glad you found some value in it :) That lesson has been hammered home for me these last 2 years and I'm finally getting it

[@ReadTomes]

17:30 too damn perfect

[@tonkslpslover]

Mine is that: if you’re afraid of failure, remember that we live on a giant floating rock. Anything is possible.

[@antoniadglau]

i think this may be the best video i've ever watched

[@hay2380]

dear Dakota, you're an angel.

[@lisa1183]

my life lesson this year is that being comfortable being alone is a life lesson just as important as anything else, being in lookdown and just being alone in general has taught me a lot about my anxiety and how it affects me, but also how to be alone but not lonely. and being independent of anyone else to bring you happiness, that is how you truly find yourself and who you are.

[@megan-te2bu]

cant wait for your book!.!.!.!.!

[@on_certainty]

my 2022 mantra from my 2021 hardships is "make a mess"

[@VenusTemple]

Me: *makes my room feel like a sauna in the winter* well..... This explains a lot....

[@char7437]

I've learned it's okay to feel sad and alone. And it's okay to feel a lot. Just cry darling.

[@adameszretov6207]

this year has been telling me that everything shall pass. in a comforting way.

[@chillyflvmes80]

what i’ve learned this year is that trusting yourself isnt bad…it isn’t bad at all.

[@amna6304]

My biggest lesson is that the way I choose to do things and the way I feel is valid and I don't need to justify that to anyone. I will not be shamed for who I am. For the things that come to me so naturally. On a side note, the way you speak is so poetic and dreamy, I could listen to you for hours

[@oliviajoyce776]

new comfort video honestly

[@naomiyilak7959]

I learned that I'm angrier than i thought i was.

[@marialeme7786]

my life lesson this year was that I am the only one in this worldfull of people that can entirely destroy me or build me up better than never.

[@microsoftman5]

21. Become your own champion and take care of yourself.

[@craigkubica3824]

Thanks Dakota! Just saved me a bunch of money on self help books 😌

[@juliamorrie]

it's okay to feel what you feel and only you know what to do with it.