Decluttering Q&A: 1.30.24 House issues/Others helping/Organizing tubs/Family members/Books

[@llllllllllilillii]

By the way Miss Dana... U r a lifesaver and an angel! There are no words in the dictionary available to say how thankful I am to you. 50 YEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSS of struggling and you have changed my life in a few months. ANGEL!!!!

[@mj482]

Same, but for me 40 years of struggles. I used to take Everything out of the pantry or whatever area I was cleaning and just to end up with a bigger mess and not wanting to look forward to put everything back to its place. 😅 Now, when decluttering, I can stop at any moment and the floor still looks spotless. Because I have been implementing her steps and I take it there now lol. 😊 Life changing. ❤

[@angelas.goodman9891]

Yes!❤

[@AnonymooseCanadian]

I love that you narrate your own audiobooks!

[@StellaClare29]

Yes, me too!! I am another fan of listening over and over while decluttering!! ❤

[@fionaschiffl8065]

If you get derailed tidied one room when you take something there now and start on the next room, embrace it. I’ve found during depression or even just getting started with the concept that I couldn’t concentrate on one room sometimes so I just say I’m going to do a 5 min take it there now no matter what room it leads me to. This makes progress and takes the stress off in that moment so I’m being kind to myself. I can do a concentrate on one room another day when I’m up to it or have gotten into the habit or routine.

[@grutarg2938]

That sounds great- just flow around the house. Either way you make progress.

[@laurat7324]

I have read one of your books and listened to you over and over and over and over and it is FINALLY sinking in and it's getting to be second nature for me. My sister and I were TRYING to help my mom clean a few things out of the basement. I told her that we only wanted to look at trash and easy stuff. That's what we did. It did make a difference. We need to make several more passes through her basement doing that but the technique was so easy. Things were left better than they were to start with. We IMMEDIATELY took things to the trash dump/recycling center and that helped my dad feel better that we weren't going to leave everything for him to do later. (Or never, lol) Thank you for these videos. They are so helpful.

[@mariemilycraig]

Just to say, Dana, I love your voice ❤ Never get tired of listening to you.

[@elizabethsokol2545]

I had a HUGE WIN over the weekend. You had a video about "just looking" in boxes that you've been avoiding. I did that because I thought it was a box I was going to move into the attic. It turns out that I have a home for most of the items in the box, including the decor items I've been searching for for the past 5 years. SO HAPPY to have found them and 1 less box is going up to the attic.

[@LedgerAndLace]

I have the handy-dandy flowchart from "Organizing for The Rest of Us" taped onto a kitchen cabinet and it is surrounded by post-it notes of Dana quotes. Really, I should frame it, but it's good enough for now! THANKS, Dana! 🙂

[@lildebleigh84]

This is the BEST! I hope she sees this comment 😊

[@LedgerAndLace]

@@lildebleigh84 Thanks! 🙂

[@MissTiffanyK1]

Thank you for addressing my (very long) question about "setting the stage" when helping others- your answer makes so much sense! I'll focus on the trust and mentioning the goal along the way. It was a good reminder to empower the owner of the stuff, celebrate their progress, and let the process take time. ❤️

[@juliashearer7842]

I can't believe I missed this because I was watching an older live!

[@thedirtprincess3293]

KZbin does not do a good job at notifications for lives.

[@deewarner3809]

I have a copy of Organizing For the Rest of Us but don't have a flow chart. How can I get one?

[@carolgeorge6409]

@thedirtprincess. I dont get any notifications. How do you set up. I have to speed lots of time trying to find the newest ones and have to scroll through sooo many.

[@GoingGreenMom]

​@@carolgeorge6409the system I use, I go through my subscriptions every morning and add all the newly released videos and such or hit the notify me on upcoming lives, them watch from my watch later list. This did not work when I had 3k subscriptions, but when I got down to about a hundred it was functional but overwhelming, and 50 was good. Im down to about 32 because I wanted to reduce watch time.

[@lynnettelg]

EXCELLENT help on that “setting the stage” question and answer on trust! Even for self-talk! Kudos! 👏👏👏

[@pam81161]

With me, no judgment is key. My anxiety peaks when I think somebody is going to look inside my apartment and make me feel less of a person because my clutter is out of control. I know it; I dont need to be told it.

[@loveteachingesl]

I've read a ton of organizing/decluttering books, and yours is my favorite. I keep repeating to myself "if it doesn't fit in the container you have for it, something has to leave". Brilliant and easy concept. It has helped me so much! ❤️

[@MegOfBroccoli]

I like "Nobody Wants Your Sh*t," it's really funny.

[@KZ-pt5qk]

To anyone watching this on the playback…. Misty is an amazing declutter coach!!! If you are interested in doing the six week online courses I HIGHLY recommend her class… She worked with me in my home last spring and summer… during my recent pregnancy …. and was just wonderful!! Definitely worth it 👍

[@schnder1]

It is really great to hear feedback from someone that experienced online coaching. I never had any doubts about a coach trained by Dana but I wondered what it would be like. Thank you for your referral.

[@kd33d]

Oh!😢 I just missed the live..I have been watching your videos and dehoarded half my house in the last 2 weeks!! No joke! I am now getting stuck a few places and was really hoping to catch u live to ask things. Ill try to be quicker next time! Thank You for all the motivation. Mindblowing that 10+ years of stuff could be gone due to your simple but genius advice. You have such an amazing gift❤

[@teresahayden6990]

Possibly ask your question ahead of time.

[@pam81161]

Me too. Catching the replay now.

[@rg-mi5hh]

After decluttering our hall closet for the third time, stuff still needs to go. There is not enough room. Amazing how fast stuff accumulates.

[@pam81161]

So true

[@cheerfulmouse]

Thank you for just repeating the book info adnauseum!! I finally called my library to get directions on how to use Libby & start listening ASAP!!

[@fionaschiffl8065]

This may feel off topic but isn’t. If your partner is taking over spaces you’ve decluttered or refuses to address their hoarding, ask yourself if you’re in a toxic relationship as mine took over every inch of space he could even when I allocated a space each for us in the last few years. It can be dangerous to address their clutter with them even if it’s just emotional abuse. I researched toxic relationships and just chalked the hoarding up to another reason to leave. They may do it to make you feel like you don’t deserve to have your own space in your own home. I know this is dark but it went on in my home for over 30yrs. I now have the house to myself and still am feeling weird that I deserve my spaces to be organised and they’re mine. Getting better everyday. ❤

[@fionaschiffl8065]

Motivation: I’ve been doing Dana’s process for about 3yrs. I used to find that my motivation goes down when I feel I haven’t accomplished much in one session. I have to tell myself to trust the process and try to do some more the next day. That day I may make a little progress or even a lot. Yay. But then the third session I may start moving furniture and can start organising even tidy. I can get confused and wonder where the stuff went in the two prior days when it felt like there wasn’t too much progress. It may feel like looking at the overall task would be too overwhelming in the beginning but it feels much easier on those days when it all comes together. I may make little progress in the 4th session but it’s all progress and only progress. I don’t put an expectation on myself to have a major breakthrough every session, I look at it as 3-4 session thing and I feel like I’m being kind to myself and not a failure. The strangest thing is I could do several hours on the little progress days and not much on the major breakthrough days. 😊

[@deniseharwood9521]

My husband has an extremely high clutter threshhold for his office at home. I literally can not be in there for more than a few minutes without feeling some anxiety. We have an extremely rarely used spare bedroom that has slowly become the room where his clothes lay on the bed and his shoes pile up on the floor. I have been trying to keep the shoes pushed into the closet and his clothes hung up, but little by little I feel my anxiety growing when I go into that room. He didn't understand, he just joked about it. Don't get me wrong, he's a wonderful man, and totally supports MY decluttering efforts. But this room didn't bother him at all. Last week, in a mid-anxiety, mid-tears state I was like "I need you to listen to me, I need you to understand that I can't have another room in our home that I can not go into"! Two days later, he brings me an armload of shoes and clothes to donate. With an apology. He is trying.......but it will be hands off in his office for quite a long time I think.

[@user-dc3jm7mp5q]

I also have a cooktop stove oven in my island and I have no overhead hood or vent. It’s been like that for 30 years and it’s fine.

[@thedirtprincess3293]

Came into the live late. Coming back to listen to the replay. Hoping it will get me moving.

[@grandmaofthree897]

My go to videos for motivation! If I watch them at night, I could literally stay up most of the night!

[@lindalindquist4095]

Decluttering at the speed if life - transformed my life and home. I have let it go, put it away, created space for what’s important in my life! Thank you Dana!! ❤

[@Lcshell]

Here’s a tip for the “take it there now” distraction that works for me. I continuously tell myself “take it there now” until the item gets to its home and then go back to the “mess” I’m working on. Like a mantra lol! I helps to keep me focused on what I’m doing and make sure I get back to it. The longer I’ve been decluttering (yeah, it’s been a long time lol) the easier it gets to stay on track. However, if you are getting distracted because it takes too long to put the item where it belongs, because that area is also cluttered. Think of it as two birds with one stone maybe because two place are getting straightened up 😊

[@michelegioffredo8811]

I wouldn't bring it in... open each box and pull out the keeps then you're already boxed up for donations

[@caroltomsobrien1318]

I would only bring back what I needed to live in that room. Everything else, leave in the boxes! 😀

[@jdknight-mark633]

Love this counseling! Needed! Trash becomes my pounds of hand done art work and valuable original art that I have no space or a market for and need input.

[@pattyelaine9563]

10 more rolls of washi tape is so relatable 😂 and yes that’s how you say it

[@NicolaLouise]

When is your next book coming out? Can’t wait!

[@tgayer1]

Thanks, Dana!

[@lisahumlicektaylor2682]

Regarding Liz's question about Dana's cooktop, It could be a downdraft model. This would eliminate a hood that vents out the roof or wall.

[@tbeaty39]

Love your videos, the "Do the dishes" gets me going every time!! Do you have coaches in Arizona?

[@FisherOfMen705]

Having to move soon, my kids will lose the only home they've ever known. We have to downsize for a smaller space, but I feel awful asking my kids to give up anything else after such a major change and losing their home. What should I do?

[@shellyjay8954]

Flip the focus to “keep what you really love”. Don’t have to pack up and haul everything. Surely there is a lot they really don’t want anymore. New adventure.

[@michelesusanne1]

Give yourself the same size container as your kids and say, this is what we each can take as personal items, take what you can't replace and really want to keep. This way, you aren't asking them to sacrifice more than you.

[@deewarner3809]

I have bought a copy of Organizing For the Rest of Us but did not get a flow chart. How can i get one please?

[@sandradavis7132]

Check the Description of this video for info on how to get one.

[@deewarner3809]

@@sandradavis7132 OK. Thanks

[@amandamccranie1809]

How do I ask questions before a live?

[@DanaKWhite]

If you go here, you can ask your question: AskDanaKWhite.com

[@jdknight-mark633]

??? Sentimental and valuable but unwanted stuff?

[@michelesusanne1]

Just because something is valuable or sentimental doesn't mean you want to keep it. Pick the things that are the most important to you and give it a prominent place, not just stored in a forgotten box.

[@MegOfBroccoli]

She assumes that everybody has a laundry in their home. Many low-income people don't even have one on the property they live on. She's class blind.

[@michelesusanne1]

How are you watching her videos? Just like cell phones, it isn't unreasonable to think most people have laundry facilities in their homes, apartments or rentals. If you have to go to the laundromat, most people do their laundry once a week, as she recommends.

[@NanetteLoves2Budget]

I beg to differ. If you watch for any length of time you will see how much compassion she has for everyone and anyone’s struggles. She may not convey that with each and every answer, but I see her as exceptionally kind and aware. Still though, being dependent on any outside facility is truly a challenge. I hope you find balance and relief in your routines. All the best

[@Hope-ot1xy]

I disagree with you about this and frankly, you are making assumptions about someone you don’t even know. Dana is a wonderful person and has compassion for people at every level. If you are so triggered, then maybe you shouldn’t be watching.