Dan and Phil Get Married, Have Kids and Retire

LIFE AM I RIGHT? Use DANANDPHIL to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/3OMcWsv thanks for sponsoring us!
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Final days of back from the dead hoodie! danandphilshop.com / us.danandphilshop.com
DAN
Videos: / @danielhowell
Twitter: / danielhowell
Instagram: / danielhowell
TikTok: / danielhowell
Tumblr: / danielhowell
Merch: shop.danielhowell.com
PHIL
Videos: / @amazingphil
Twitter: / amazingphil
Instagram: / amazingphil
TikTok: / amazingphil
Tumblr: / amazingphil
Merch: amazingphilshop.com
Edited by Super Seizer
Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound and Incompetech.com

[@DanAndPhilGAMES]

yoo treat your sniffers and use code DANANDPHIL to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/3OMcWsv thanks for sponsoring us!

[@wilmon]

no because of your titles and your audacity

[@EmilyP]

not after the jumpscare of that title

[@gamechannelminecraft6583]

Hello everyone, good viewing🐼😅

[@ebirky5058]

"treat your sniffers" 😭

[@polarknight856]

You know we read that as sniffies 😩

[@saferoundhouse5910]

Dan getting the shit taxed out of him while Phil is on his 19th travel album is so fucking hilarious

[@syedaaaaaaa]

😭😭😭

[@youlittlehomie8579]

"uhh, I think I'll learn to paint 😌✨"

[@ArnieLagoobie]

the contrast of dan saying "this is how neoliberalism fails people and turns them towards the right instead of the left. if it causes discontentment people look for solutions in the wrong places" and then phil saying "ooooh! we're gonna see the northern lights!" is so funny and exactly what i come here for

[@jasmint3207]

23:30

[@toastysandhamwich]

it's literally them in a nutshell lol

[@moonchild9841]

exactly this video is gold

[@Lucifersfursona]

Reality and whimsy being forced to exist at the same time or we won’t survive to see reality be whimsical: Please dog let me just be in spaces where content creators i watched as I closeted teen say true things about how imperial core life works without a majority of their core audience or another person in the channel just going apeshit

[@EMMASAUDIOS]

LMFAOOO

[@BrandiG31]

"Oh you got a red... That's a shame." Destroyed me actually

[@syedaaaaaaa]

Destroyed Dan, too, evidently

[@juliaaxer6885]

we've gone so full circle from them feeling obligated to have wives on the games to phil being like "what if i was bisexual and had a wife named susan"

[@jasmint3207]

Yes! Well said. And I'm glad to be here.

[@fungushoney9958]

"i'm bisexual i'm not straight,, She's a robot"

[@bellemarshaII]

phil just happily DUNKING on dan 😭"oh i won" "oo look at that"

[@kayzmavc4596]

"You just some need some blacks. Oh, you got a red. That's a shame."

[@mr.perezident9381]

“I’m gonna start another travel album ☺️”

[@syedaaaaaaa]

Freaking menace, absolutely love it. Along with salty Dan. Best dynamic

[@PrettyAndOrOdd]

Dan caught in the struggle between wanting to win points but also not wanting to commit to marriage even virtually is the funniest thing

[@mollyk3768]

LMAO THIS

[@erikoinenuori]

@@mijaluna024 wow this comment is pretty wild

[@briellecatrinar]

“I wonder if there’s a ‘Susan had an affair’ square” I CACKLED Phil

[@briellecatrinar]

“I’m gonna start ANOTHER travel album” I’m PEEING

[@crhct]

phil getting so offended at the insinuation that any of his characters would be straight

[@dreadnoughtdreamer]

no but being called straight when you've said you're bi multiple times is an ultimate bi experience

[@themaxblackshow]

The idea of Dan and Phil being responsible for a child was enough of a jumpscare for the day

[@jasmint3207]

It's Phil and Susan, not Phil and Dan.

[@Rivers_Art]

It was a great notification to see right after therapy lol

[@elizabethalban754]

I.had my children when I was younger than them.

[@themaxblackshow]

@@elizabethalban754 oh trust me, it’s not because of their age lol I’m not judging

[@carat_light]

to give them their credit they did basically raise an entire generation on the internet!

[@taylor-]

phil's bi alter ego: phol

[@nectarina3891]

Phol Stroker

[@gilly_axolotl]

Ahahahahha

[@jasmint3207]

Phol Stroker is too good 😂

[@agrv1999]

i’m incredibly scared of susan’s bisexual finance bro robotic engineer family man alternative universe phil husband’s luck

[@emmauwoo]

The IRS wants Dan sooooo bad

[@rosesraeken]

“we’ve been rawdoggin’ it” is something i never want to hear phil lester say ever again

[@bttrflymagic]

The concept of bb Phil thinking he’s being sneaky-gay by marrying a guy in the game of Life is beyond adorable to me.

[@saebarkell]

that is a grown ass man do not call him "bb" or "adorable" bro 😭

[@raantaaro]

@@saebarkell theyre talking abt him as a child LOL

[@missstripedsocks]

@@saebarkell I'm 30 years old and I think Phil is adorable. why or how is this creepy

[@saebarkell]

@@missstripedsocks this is an almost 40 year old grown man

[@missstripedsocks]

@@saebarkell So? I still fail to see why it's creepy to compliment him. I think my the little old lady who lives across from me is adorable, do you think that's creepy too. 😂

[@moony3041]

“Did somebody say hiAtus?” Dan please it’s still raw

[@naiomik6179]

Fr, that threat even as a joke hurts 😢

[@snowpanda7388]

raw like phol and susan

[@jasmint3207]

​​@@snowpanda7388 omg ☠️

[@sabalos]

"that year after you graduate where you're like 'I don't know what I'm doing'" yes, right, that one single year

[@jasmint3207]

Mhm exactly

[@kristinq4]

only at the beginning of my "year" and it's already so, so terrible

[@RuffianLivesOn]

​@@kristinq4 I'm at my 6th year, and it doesn’t get any better babes.

[@emmao6578]

yes that one single year that happened after actually graduating and definitely not after failing to graduate due to health issues but still being left with all the debt🥲

[@TheEllaDarling]

never seen clickbait so absolutely powerful it would've sent the phandom into cardiac arrest a decade ago

[@weaverofbrokenthreads]

I feel like we would have recognised this one as clickbait even back then

[@gcfalconi]

@@weaverofbrokenthreads two things can be true pfff

[@halfbloodprince6495]

"We Are In A Relationship"

[@TheEllaDarling]

@@weaverofbrokenthreads I don't remember when I learnt what clickbait was but it was probably around 2014 so you might be right there. Would probably still absolutely have done a spit-take at rhe audacity

[@weaverofbrokenthreads]

True, true, even them joking about this would have made some waves

[@sickeninglysweetlikehoney9917]

Dan didn't even get a chance to get a cat for him and Henry😭

[@syedaaaaaaa]

I KNOW 😭😭💔💔🙏🙏

[@tessgonzalez285]

justice for henry

[@georgie7752]

can we appreciae that there was a 1.5% chance of phil getting every single bucket list bonus and dan not geting a single one

[@somethingelse9176]

Phil is the main character of the universe and we are all just along for the ride

[@kayzmavc4596]

That whole bit with Dan's sunglasses fucking killed me: Dan comparing it to black cucumbers on his eyes with his face hanging out the sides and then Phil comparing him to the three blind mice made me laugh so hard, I had to pause the video.

[@syedaaaaaaa]

THE BLIND MICE KILLED MEEEE

[@futuristicfriends98]

Dan getting compared to yet another Shrek character 😭

[@Ellie_xo]

I have tears in my eyes 😂💕

[@safetyscissors9281]

nabstablook found

[@dykeiel]

my mental health: *hanging by a fucking thread* dan and phil:

[@splitlikeagemini]

are they helping or hurting

[@firstnamelastname4751]

@@splitlikeageminimaybe a bit of both

[@GTDrums07]

Same. I hope you’re okay.

[@skyolor4750]

not going to lie glad there was a new vid today

[@s0ledadSperanza]

literally

[@rowan.27]

I really relate to Dan's struggle, every time I play board games with chaotic friends who just play full vibes no strategy and still somehow win because they're luckier than me I die a thousand deaths

[@lar-in-a-crisis]

Same. I have died in JAIL in Monopoly. Twice. I couldn't make bail or roll doubles 😢

[@toroallin5734]

If I had a nickel for every time… 😂😂

[@currently_carly]

BEGGING y’all to play the 1998 version of Life - the animations are so unhinged and the gameplay is a lot longer

[@koreboii]

That would be so fun actually!

[@myralyra2404]

Yes yes !!!!

[@RuffianLivesOn]

I looked it up because I couldn't remember what it looked like, and a core memory was unlocked. I loved that game.

[@606aichan7O7]

I'm not entirely sure if it's the same company/game, but there's a Japanese version of the game on the Switch that has more content too

[@sjaneli6180]

100000%

[@taylorharvey3980]

"i'm gonna control my own mouse today" every passenger princess ever

[@EmIdc]

13:50 "me and susan have been rawdogging it" EXCUSE ME PHIL

[@agneseditsstuff]

we all need therapy now

[@emeraldkoala2543]

Whenever he or Dan say something questionable, I say their full name out loud. I've been saying their names a lot since the gaming channel came back.

[@saraelisabet]

Phol has traumatised me more than my parents

[@xstarsystemsx]

I was eating something and nearly choked 😂

[@leaht7407]

This was not Phil. It was Phil’s alter ego Phol 😂😂

[@grff_]

Phil just randomly going "Susan just came out as a lesbian" LOL

[@syedaaaaaaa]

Susette! Their child

[@Shadyladybird]

25:12 'oh you got a red... that's a shame....' absolutely savage 😂

[@jasmint3207]

24:38 "I'm gonna start another travel album" is the best moment

[@ellirigney8827]

literally that killed me 😭😭 phil’s having so much fun in this video

[@daisiavu2828]

The clickbait just keeps getting better and better… slay kings

[@alexf225]

This one can never be topped

[@Xarlxta]

@@alexf225nawt the Phil level innuendo

[@briana5002]

they deserve it after what people put them through for years

[@sketchycat6223]

It doesn’t even phase me anymore I’ve become immune

[@soja3241]

yes, they truly deserve it after all they went through hshdjd

[@babyboisammy]

“I can now play all the yaoi games in high definition” OMG😂😂😂 them just deadpan looking at each other! I love this new era of Dan and Phil

[@tobyray9330]

Idk how but that completely slipped by me the first time and I had to go back and check

[@PixieLovesItAll]

i knew Phil was throwing down with some Dramatical Murder back in the day

[@izzykate1806]

​@@PixieLovesItAll you just know Phil would be a Clear girlie

[@PixieLovesItAll]

@@izzykate1806 1000%. And Dan's a Noiz girlie, no question.

[@JaniceMarieAudio]

I’ve never seen Dan get done SO DIRTY in a game/dan vs. Phil until this one

[@rebg00]

Dan getting progressively fucked over more and more by this game while Phil smiles had me in stitches

[@jj_177]

my mum was on my phone and got the notification with the title and just yelled to me "hey dan and phil are getting married, having kids and retiring" and I was very confused

[@somethingelse9176]

That's fucking hilarious

[@Scrofar]

that visual is hilarious and incredible, thank you for sharing

[@lord_chaos_gremlin]

SCREAMING

[@heathenised]

...why is your mother on your phone?

[@lunas8959]

“hehe i’m really gay” phil is so silly

[@jasmint3207]

0:30

[@EverGardens]

silly philly

[@erinpennington19]

Dan getting jealous of Phil and his virtual wife's imaginary retirement is hilarious 😂

[@nichoenii]

"me and susan have been rawdogging it" IM CACKLING

[@mylifeismylaptop8529]

15:13 gotta love that watching one documentary is worth the same amount of knowledge as the entirety of college

[@abbyrosec753]

Went to college. Can confirm.

[@enstarsvevo5329]

pretty accurate ngl

[@existential_horror5045]

in college right now. accurate

[@GmmBeast]

Some people really think it is 🤣

[@rancidprince3133]

@@GmmBeastyeah, everyone before you in this thread

[@Laura-qu1xf]

Alternate title: Watch Dan Get Rekt By Phol for 27 Minutes

[@alwaysprocrastinating355]

*danisnotonfire (and he should've know he'd get rekt with that username lmao)

[@hopelessdiaries]

for 63 years!

[@rhincowave]

this was just a way for phil to fully flesh out phil striker as a character

[@jasmint3207]

Someone wrote it's his bisexual alter ego Phol Stroker and they're absolutely right

[@caffeinatedx]

It's not god hates dan, It's just he loves phil.

[@tuluin_]

dan eminating strong salty and bitter energy in this video because of everything phil does and lucks into is killing me

[@syedaaaaaaa]

menace phil and salty loser dan is the best dynamic 🙏

[@megsssss]

Dan fighting for his life while Phil makes up a beautiful life in retirement is what I needed

[@krimmble2163]

every time dan jokes about a hiatus i feel like a child with parents in a failing marriage

[@Zubiila]

Phil's becoming more unhinged and unfiltered - and he seems so happy! Love it!

[@va8595]

'i adopted gay children' yeah all of us watching rn 😭

[@micagrecco8286]

phil having a wonderful year and dan being taxed and miserable is so funny

[@jasmint3207]

Life, even

[@jasmint3207]

It's so on brand! Was this rigged??

[@syedaaaaaaa]

@@jasmint3207right!!! Felt staged LMAOAOO

[@bethellis]

what i hoped life would be like vs what it's actually like 😭

[@suazim1494]

the way Phil just breezed through this game made me so giggly

[@elliel.5915]

phil becoming a boomer who invested in tech early, bought a house, retired at 50 and spent the rest of his life travelling. meanwhile dan becoming a vapid pop star who had a mental breakdown at 30 and dedicated the rest of his life to fixing climate change, leading to his husband leaving him and him dying at 65. fuck yea

[@dbswjdgks]

dan pouting and leaving phil to do the outro with the josh hutcherson standee has me in tears😭

[@naiomik6179]

NO BC I'M LITERALLY ABOUT TO CRY IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY (it's a little funny)

[@thewinterizzy]

Never stop click baiting us, kings.

[@apheliotropic]

The most singlehanded defeat in Dan vs Phil history

[@hoshitiger1010]

dan getting to retire and immediately not getting anything and ending the game made me laugh so much

[@PrettyAndOrOdd]

I’m glad we never returned to saying ‘Dan versus Phil’ because the vibes really do transcend words

[@huhhwuhh]

dan hitting the tax spot nearly every turn is how I feel at this point in my life, especially this time of year

[@jasmint3207]

When Phil is so happy he can rub into Dan's face that he's learning to paint now 😂 22:50

[@harshadakamat6989]

this is the best and the worst i've seen anyone do on this game, seeing dan get taxed a hundred times while phil gets every crown is so funny.

[@brasstail]

Dan going "great, still time for a hamster" had me SCREAMING

[@Howlinmadd]

WAIT WHEN

[@deadfor7yrs246]

that freaked me the fuck out lmfao

[@-ughitssophie]

TRAUMA

[@strawberrymilk4k]

​@@Howlinmadd 17:42 😭😭

[@aebxo6916]

That didn't register when I heard it omg 💀

[@ishouldprobablybeasleeprn495]

Game of Life, to Phil: Precious, absolutely wonderful. I’ll give you everything. Wealth. Love. Joy. Power. All of it, for you❤ Game of Life, To Dan: You are too jaded, TAXATION 👨‍⚖️

[@Phirebird7257]

Phil's energy is so extra chaotic in this video and i love it

[@NoteToLoser]

I love that Phil said 'cosplay' multiple times but Dan still got it right and said 'roleplay'. Because of course Dan knows the difference between cosplay and roleplay 😚

[@nova-caine]

my cousin came out to me, my brother and her siblings one christmas playing the game of life!! her little brother went 'why are you picking a girl one?' and she said 'because girls can marry girls, that's okay' and after a moment he shrugged and went 'oh okay' and we kept on playing... was such a cute little moment that phil's story in the intro reminded me of! :')

[@HeosphorosSword]

I came out to my grandpa that way. He didn't comment on it, so I don't even know if he noticed. He wouldn't have a negative reaction though given that my aunt is lesbian.

[@konumbra]

amazing phil-osophy: "Health is wealth, happiness is penis, knowledge gets the..." so wise ❤

[@Tarnfussel]

I’ve had the probably worst week of my life and broke up with my partner of 3 1/2 years today because long distance was breaking both of our hearts. Thank you for bringing laughter and joy to me on an otherwise pretty terrible day 💗

[@mynamessofus]

man that sounds tough, glad to hear our silly uncles helped cheer you up❤️ from one internet stranger to another I’m mentally sending some sun rays your way💫💫

[@Tarnfussel]

⁠@@mynamessofusthank you sweet soul 🫂

[@jasmint3207]

It's so hard. Glad the boys are keeping you company. I hope you remember that the first days are the worst and how you feel right now is not permanent. You WILL feel better again! ❤

[@unkannie]

Dan's increasing saltiness made me laugh so hard 🤣 could not have been taxed more

[@tatianaelliott2534]

From my silly lesbian self....boys you are GLOWING, Skin is slaying, style is slaying (phil that eyebrow is WORKING for you baby), hair is slaying (Dan your hair at the end there...king...), I'm so happy both of you are getting to be your authentic selves, we love to see it!

[@steelheartii6525]

Fellow lesbian high-five - and I can't agree more :D

[@d4rkshadow826]

Another lesbian here!

[@bunshr00m]

silly lesbians unite

[@cocoachuu]

fellow lesbians!!!!🏳️‍🌈🎀✨

[@mistyz0ne]

i also wowed at his hair at the end.. silly bi girls 🤝 silly lesbians

[@jules5933]

13:51 “i want to end the game of life” god that’s relatable

[@mimine12344]

Phil doing the outro on his own and saying "If you liked the video, give me a thumbs up" instead of "give us a thumbs up" 😂

[@JessicaBiilor]

dan reaching retirement to start checking off his bucket list only for the game to end is SENDING me

[@PrettyAndOrOdd]

Dan and Phil have zero fucks left to give and I’m here for it

[@chloepatrick12]

dan and phil retired damn that was a quick comeback

[@syedaaaaaaa]

It’s why they’re pumping out these videos back to back

[@myld_panic4416]

Idk if how many others have already suggested it, but I think Dan and Phil would really enjoy the game: Date with death! Why I think so: -Is free on steam -Character creation -Gay gay double gay -Emo edgelord -Fun and interesting lore and plot

[@nichoenii]

YESSSS!!! I love that game omg grimmy is the cutest thing

[@edentitycrisis]

“I’m gonna start another travel album!” 😭😭😭

[@johnwatson9879]

I feel like the way the game went is kind of accurate for their opinions and road through their own life: dan being extremely unlucky and getting sad and phil winning by a landslide by just choosing vibes

[@nastya_is_slay]

This is the funniest video likeee the way Phil kept getting every good spin and Dan just got taxed repeatedly 😭😭😭

[@syedaaaaaaa]

Shit seemed staged 😭😭. That funny

[@alexwigg823]

I’m absolutely fucking living for Dan’s sarcastic gay uncle energy

[@anasuarez4848]

Had never seen Dan being so destroyed in a game, it was perfection

[@kelseyrae5533]

i respect daniel and phil’s right to clickbait in this new era

[@jasmint3207]

Oh absolutely!

[@NathiHc]

Look at Phil beating the passenger princess allegations

[@AnotherEmi]

This video is just Dan being a good fellow citizen, paying his taxes, and Phil being a tax evader

[@angelmoon33]

"They were beautiful, Susan cried" 😂😂😂 this video had me dying of laughter. Susan hit the bisexual husband lottery for sure lmao

[@aleeshahope27]

U guys are getting more and more unhinged with these titles, i love it haha

[@ruthborg6076]

When my girls were little, we played this game and I always encouraged them to choose whatever color peg they wanted. Soft launch for unconditional love and acceptance.

[@syedaaaaaaa]

Love this!

[@andromeda_lw]

I've been putting two pinks in my little car since I was like 12 and pretended I chose randomly and didn't care when confronted... So you're doing God's job m'am ❤

[@mistyz0ne]

that "nothing ☁😔" at the end was really the icing on the cake for dan, i laughed so hard

[@olly420]

Dan just completely exiting stage left. I respect that

[@pamelaramirezrey5608]

Phil's impression of Dr. Robotnik made me laugh way more than it should've

[@syedaaaaaaa]

Fr I was not expecting it 😭

[@syedaaaaaaa]

Dan getting taxes every other minute is the funniest shit

[@Peachymaddie]

Dan joking about going on a hiatus is like when my dad came back but kept threatening to leave me again…ajsjfkfkal

[@snowbunny1184]

“Oh, you got a red. That’s a shame” 😂

[@syd943]

theres dan announcing an important global premiere and phil is just going globussy strussy

[@phasamtasie]

Applaus to Dan for being capable of filming this after WAD weekend, because I was dead Monday just from attending both nights

[@chachismilezzz]

this is the 3rd time this comeback that dan has threatened to shit on the floor...do we need to have a word daniel

[@victoriagarrett1927]

watching phil absolutely kick dans ass, he’s so blissful and dan is dying inside its HILARIOUS😂😂😂😂

[@-ellieille-]

I literally came out to my brother by saying “I’ll take a wife please” when we played Life so I can relate 😅

[@skeletem]

'you can be a polyamorous furry in this i'm sure' we are so back lmao

[@emilywalker8092]

Dan calling his husband Henry has me laughing 😂 Has he been watching Red White and Royal Blue by any chance? 😂

[@josou2895]

phil wins so happily like he had literally no remorse

[@nannybells]

congrats on the show dan, you truly are a stage girl

[@jessvision8817]

I am upset on Dan's behalf and also relate heavily to life screwing you over at every bend

[@jordancole1522]

The 3 blind mice roast needs to go into the history books