Daniel - A Letter to My Eating Disorder

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Daniel, performing at Rustbelt 2017 in Minneapolis, MN.
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We seek to showcase the power and diversity of voices in our community. By encouraging and broadcasting the best and brightest performance poets of today, we hope to broaden poetry's audience, to expand its reach and develop a greater level of cultural appreciation for the art form.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

happy seven years of recovery to me // if you're seeing this & are struggling, make sure to drink water and eat something today. you deserve recovery

[@mangoface7914]

Three years for me recently since i “gave up” on my ED. Thank you Daniel. Thank you for loving yourself more than your ED. I have just eaten, and I am happy for existing. Hope you conquer several more years ahead

[@deIcorazon]

i am so proud of you, thank you for this beautiful piece and for allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of people

[@iloveyoudaniel]

@@deIcorazon thanks. this is such an old performance, and i don't do this poem anymore, but i'm glad other still find solace in it. (:

[@redhood686]

I'd seen this years ago when it first came out. Then again when someone showed it to us in a treatment center. I'm doing much better than I was, but I'm watching it again for the inspiration and the beauty. Your word has reached so many places. Thank you for having shared it 💙

[@itsdune079]

Daniel, your poem here made me cry. I could feel the pain through the screen. I am a woman wanting and not wanting to recover from Ana, not Mia, but recovery is just the same difficulty to get through. I know recovery is not linear, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt. It doesn’t mean I won’t still miss my ED. Thank you for speaking up about men with eating disorders. You are truly a light and I am so glad you have been working hard to get out of the lion’s den, to destroy the scale, to shatter the mirror. ❤️

[@gretchenking3841]

“ This is your orchestra and you can’t sign with your fingers in your throat.”

[@tabea9691]

He said sing, not sign right? :0

[@charit3499]

"you can't sing with your fingers in your throat" SPOKE TO ME SO MUCH I LOVE THIS Y E S

[@emilygales9549]

I want to hug him so hard and squeeze out all of his insecurities and just give him hope for tomorrow

[@ij_2034]

Emjune Fujioka let's find him and do it

[@Leo-my9xn]

You took the words out of my head

[@dssii3]

If only if it was that easy

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Tbh y’all weird af tryna hug me n shit 😂😂😂 But for real tho, thanks much for the kind words ❤️💫

[@Leo-my9xn]

No intention to be weird, just, it hurts to see someone else's pain like that, and it'd be great if we could somehow help, even if just showing support

[@allianadavis9031]

‪“Because darling what has your body done to merit this kind of abuse?? ... this is your orchestra, you can not sing with your fingers down your throat.”‬

[@Chloe-ds9dd]

The raw emotion in this is inspiring and heartwrenching. Wonderfully done!

[@bayleighw4877]

watch as his hands shake. watch him fight to speak out against himself. well done, so well done

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Honestly y’all, I come back every few days and read the comments and see the views and I’m just so blown away by all the well-wishes and positivity. I’m especially blown away by all the men that’ve come forward in the comments-y’all remind me why I’ve held so fiercely onto my three years of recovery. Thank you all so much for the love. ❤️

[@eurydicejones5321]

Do you have social media’s?

[@lanaabboud7115]

Hope you're doing a whole lot better. ❤❤

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Hi Carlos, Like I’ve said to a lot of the people that’ve commented, I’m really glad and happy this poem found it’s way to you. I wish you nothing but health and recovery. I hope you always remember to be good to yourself, and that you always remember to eat. You deserve to, you know? Be well. May you always be kind to yourself in all of your days. Cheers, Daniel ❤️

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Well, not sure why your comment disappeared/was deleted, but I hope you see this Carlos and I hope you get better!

[@AmyRapeer]

I just cried at this- so raw and true and beautiful. Huge love to you.

[@saltydinonuggies1841]

A guy talking about eating disorders! Finally! Now I feel less alone... ^^ Thank you good sir for your amazingly written words... And amazingly spoken poem...

[@danie1k3lly28]

My name is daniel and I have anorexia nervosa and most the things you said we're very reliable.. thank you for writing that.. your my new hero..

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Hi Daniel, I'm really glad the poem spoke to you. I wasn't expecting to see this on Button, but I'm really glad it reached you. More than that, though, thank you for speaking up. Other men coming forward tell me that I'm not alone, and I appreciate the reminder. Be kind to yourself today. You deserve it. Choose recovery, my friend. You deserve to eat. You can get better. I know you can. Cheers, Daniel

[@danie1k3lly28]

Daniel G thank you so much👐👏

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Love and light and recovery to you

[@abbyrose7881]

"Dear Eating Disorder, I love you."

[@iloveyoudaniel]

“Dear Body, I love you more.”

[@eddieee2]

This is one of the most beautiful and real poems I've ever heard. As a guy recovering from an eating disorder this hit me hard.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Keep choosing recovery, my man. You got this.

[@iisazelx9340]

[@rubygleeson9500]

As a person who is choosing to recover after six years of anorexia. I want to let you know that you aren’t alone. Your life matters and you will get through this. xx

[@knightofdoom6044]

I hope you feel better now. I can't say I understand your pain, but what matters is that your pain can't over power you. You are strong and I'm glad this beautiful poem helped you.

[@twigwigsoso]

Same

[@antifasans]

My name is Daniel and as a male who has and currently struggles with anorexia nervosa, this hits me so hard. I got such intense goosebumps and I had to hold back tears.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Hi Daniel, I'm really glad this poem made its way to you. I hope you have a bunch of light and healing and recovery going on for you. Just remember: You are a person deserving of care, and you deserve to eat.

[@sarahk7218]

"Beautiful is something you are, Not something you eat." This was beautiful and the way he delivered it, man, it gave me chills and made me tear up

[@charliehilfiker6935]

This is beautiful. As a guy who's struggled on and off with an ED, this hit home. Thank you

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Thank YOU. Thank you for speaking up. Love and light and recovery to you.

[@charliehilfiker6935]

Daniel G thank you. Your poem is powerful. Keep writing and I wish you all the strength in your recovery 💙

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Thanks! I just hit three years this past November and I'm so grateful. Keep doing the recovery things, and always be nice to yourself. You deserve it!

[@charliehilfiker6935]

Daniel that's awesome!! I started to slip back into it last fall but I was able to catch myself before it took over my life again. I'm doing just fine now :) I'm glad to hear you're recovering. That's really great and brave

[@iloveyoudaniel]

You're really great and brave (: Keep up the whole living thing. It's hella worth it.

[@isabellanieves9101]

He used to come into my job all the time and he’s the sweetest and friendliest person I’ve met. This is beautiful

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Oooh, where at? I don't remember! Help me out here fam! :D (Also, thank you for the nice words!)

[@isabellanieves9101]

Daniel the jack in the box by unt.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Wow omg that's amazing

[@greteohneh4503]

Wow that made me tear up, especially the last sentences "Dear eating disorder you can't have my body, dear eating disorder because, I, was here first" I love how he's pointing also to how eating disorders affect you physical health

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Honestly eating disorders affect both the body and the mind, and I wish folks remembered that the brain is an important part of the body ✨

[@user-ui7po2eb1m]

I wish I could tell him something to lift his spirit up He is beautiful indeed

[@TheJaneLovee]

I have chills, this was so moving

[@zucker8224]

It’s been a half an hour and I haven’t stoped replaying this I can’t stop crying I haven’t been able to cry in so long

[@bishbashbosh6153]

my chest is aching and i have goosebumps i want to cuddle him

[@aleksarrr]

Thank you for your vulnerability, Daniel, and thank you Button Poetry for publishing this beautiful work of art.

[@samantha-amos]

happy two months of recovery to me :) thank you so much for this poem, especially the line ‘darling, what has your body done to merit this kind of abuse?’ hits really hard. this is such a meaningful and personal poem to me and i’m so happy you put it out for the world to hear

[@ButtonPoetry]

You are so welcome Sammie. Thanks for posting. Congrats on two months! Huge win.

[@kinjalpande945]

I was living in such an ignorant place before this. Before coming across this mastepiece and its comment section, i never knew boys suffer from this with the same amount of intenseness and the same amount of self starvation. I just want to give this boy a hug and all my prayers are to the boys who are suffering from this illness. I hope you get help and i hope you rebuild yourself. I hope you love the way you look and i hope you create yourself endlessly.

[@cissygirl77]

I went to middle school with him and I'm so proud of the person he's become💚💚

[@iloveyoudaniel]

[@agustinapersia167]

I cried, "stop throwing up, you must eat" My heart is crying, it hurts to see people struggling with this, is so painful, we need to get better, we all deserve it.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Thank you so much, Button Poetry. Y'all are the bestest.

[@janiyasalter6211]

I'm not great with words so imma keep it short. This poem was amazing. It was so real and honest and it just spoke to me as I'm sure it did to so many other people. I hope you're doing better now, Daniel, wherever you might be.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

wow

[@larazegwaard6785]

It is 1 am and i am crying so dahm loud my parents are gone for 1 week for vacation and now because of his words i know now that not eating for these 6 days they are already gone and the trowing aftger every meal needs to stop i wanna say thank you to this guy because he made me realize that i gotta stop this way i am treating my body

[@iloveyoudaniel]

sending you good food vibes and light to you ✨❤️

[@denessa4407]

I’m in love with this. The way he talks gives me goosebumps and brings me to tears.

[@jennayay]

this made me cry omg

[@atomiccryptonite5201]

I struggled with an eating disorder for a year and a half. This made me cry ugly tears.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Lots and lots and lots of love ❤️

[@angelxbabe]

one of my friends closest to my heart is named Daniel who also struggles with an eating disorder... "you can't sing with fingers in your throat" he's also a singer... this immediately made me think of him, and i'm crying.

[@chelseaisthereig2250]

I want to support him and this was just so emotional and I'm glad he made this bc now those who also have eating disorders will feel his pain and get through it or seek help

[@derpyboi11]

Every time I watch THIS I cry

[@anjal7606]

This was so intense, it made me tear up. Absolutely heartbreaking and yet so fierce and strong. You put some of my most haunting thoughts into words and I'm so thankful for you standing there and sharing them with the world.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Honestly comments like these are why I don’t totally hate this poem lol

[@avacolvin4855]

This just made me cry, and i watch this as I’m chugging water to quiet my hunger. Even though i know its bad i often forget how bad, and how much of my life it has taken away. It’s important to remember.

[@JJ-zm3ne]

I don’t even have the words to describe how amazing this is...

[@mariabelenspina8811]

im crying he is so beautiful and deserves the world

[@tobyv658]

i keep getting shivers and im on the verge of tears but like lowkey

[@iloveyoudaniel]

today makes eight years of recovery. i love me so much. i hope you're doing better. i hope you love you too.

[@ashleybrooks3562]

I. I can’t express how much this means to me.

[@tabea9691]

This hit home, I cried.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Same

[@MyOwnStickFigure]

Depth, raw, real. I’m recovering from eating disorders that almost took my life. “Stop throwing up” repeated three times REALLY shook me. I’m 1 year free from bulimia and it was the hardest addiction I’ve ever broke. Dear Daniel, you are fucking beautiful and brilliant and worth it. Keep fighting, warrior 🙏🏻

[@iloveyoudaniel]

It's so amazing that you've been in recovery for a year! I'm so very happy for you! I just hit three years in 2017, and giving up bulimia was one of the hardest things I've ever done, though it was one of the best things I've ever done. Light and love and good food to you!

[@MyOwnStickFigure]

Daniel I’m SO proud of you. It was the hardest thing for me to give up too. I feel you. Your strength is appreciated. Your fight is respected ❤️

[@iloveyoudaniel]

❤️💫

[@senorxcoldhands9671]

🌹 being kinder to ourselves is the move because these bodies we inhabit do not merit this kind of abuse. We are all beautiful just the way we are. Not just functional, but beautiful. You loves you, never forget. Eventhough the noise overpowers the love you have for yourself, notice how you keep fighting. Notice how your body keeps fighting to keep you alive. Each beat of your heart is a labour of love. Begin responding to it ❤

[@madalynhicks902]

i cried so hard during this since i have struggled with an eating disorder in the past. BEAUTIFUL POEM!!!!!

[@SarahDarkhand]

"Dear eating disorder, you cannot have my body" god I wish I had the strength to say that

[@pascal5285]

this brought me to tears. bless you, daniel.

[@elis.7776]

I cry every time I watch this. Thank you.

[@Eli-pc2ux]

Beautiful, nothing short of it.

[@aminay3264]

This really hit a nerve 😥♥️

[@6shaii625]

I have chills.

[@elis.7776]

Thank you. Thank you so much for this. This is so powerful.

[@esthera2890]

I cried. Gosh, I love this person. I could totally feel him.

[@marmion77]

I’ve never felt this much raw emotion and meaningfulness from a video, so thank you, thank for this. I needed this.

[@Fify4music]

That's amazing. I feel your pain like I was Daniel. Thank you for this masterpiece!

[@rebeccaaaron5472]

Incredible and Moving! I got so many chills throughout the entire video ❤️❤️

[@hettyh8]

this is so full of raw emotion, i want to hug this guy so bad oh sweet jesus.

[@JJ-zm3ne]

Daniel is everything

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Did you comment on this again??? 😂 Also, thanks ❤️

[@JJ-zm3ne]

Daniel I come back to this a lot

[@iloveyoudaniel]

samesies tbh

[@emilyfallon4395]

I can’t stop watching this

[@pynkmoon2474]

I can really relate. I cried every tear to his beautiful voice

[@toriflores5918]

This brought me to tears. I love this so much and I just want to give him a hug. He’s not alone. It’s so sad because it’s so relatable and I hurt for him but I can’t even hurt for myself

[@Liza-nx5yz]

This is the most meaningful peice of writing ive ever listened to and I want Daniel to know how much this means to me, thank you.

[@lizthaibo5030]

I keep watching this. Can’t seem to shake it

[@Csb1289]

Beautiful!!!!

[@At0micBomb]

Daniel, you are an inspiration.

[@theahildahl6894]

Beautifully written.

[@kornlover07]

"what has your body done to merit this abuse?" omg this made me cry so much

[@scattercosplayers6911]

57 seconds in and Im already crying

[@MACJunkie88]

'dear eating disorder, I love you' 'dear body, dear Daniel, I love you MORE' hit like a ton of bricks with that.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Honestly, I like that the actual letter aspect of the poem comes at the end, because it really was all I wanted to say, you know?

[@beccawilliams1062]

thank you for this

[@aeryn6275]

Sharing this with as many people I can. Thank you so much. The tears streaming down my cheeks scream about how powerful this is.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Wow thank u ❤️

[@BabyGrl725]

I love this so much. Thank you ❤❤❤

[@xoxo23xo]

Made me cry

[@lauraguske2151]

Brought me to tears very powerful

[@AFTALonzo]

SOOO BEAUTIFUL

[@annsproul7849]

The emotion when they read it was just so amazing. Congratiolations on recovery.

[@chloecherry7126]

That was so, so, so good

[@starlaprotheroe7077]

I started bawling..... I love this

[@iloveyoudaniel]

same but also I hate this poem lol

[@RD-kw7mk]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am also a male who suffered from an eating disorder. I commend you for being brave enough to talk about it in front of others. Never knew anyone else like me.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Hi Richard, I've been in recovery for three years now, and I'm always struck whenever I see males come forward about having had an eating disorder; they almost always say something along the lines of, "I never saw anyone else like me/looked like me." Thank you for sharing some of your experience here, and I hope you're kind to yourself in all of your days. I dream of a world where boys can come forward without having to feel like they're the only one in the world. Thank you for reminding me why I still perform this poem, even after all this time. Thanks for reminding me why I wrote this poem in the first place. May you always speak up. Cheers, Daniel

[@mcflysi6]

"You can't have my body, because I was here first." Powerful shit

[@fionagumaroy6309]

wow this gave me goosebumps

[@x.teerose.x8408]

Goosebumps

[@user-lz9zw8gb9i]

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G

[@kayahwright9916]

This is one of the best poems I have heard in awhile :))

[@lovelawliet5061]

This made me cry so much. I don’t even know if I want to get better anymore, but this makes me feel like I’m so not alone. I don’t wanna throw up anymore 😅 but this is beautiful

[@VeeforIvy]

One of the best poets I believe

[@dakota.lamm36]

I feel so safe when I hear stories from men who have struggled with eating disorders. I'm a trans man and my ED always makes me self conscious for obvious reasons, but also because of the way it's portrayed as a thing that only girls struggle with.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Well, hate to break it to you, but not a man. Thank you. It's tough, this whole gender thing, but I felt, at the time I wrote this poem (like, six years ago), that "male" was a bit closer to my actual gender rather than "man" (it's not, but I didn't have the language to articulate myself that I do now; hindsight and all that, especially given that this performance is over four years old). I hope the poem is helpful to you, and I'm glad it found its way to you.

[@dakota.lamm36]

@@iloveyoudaniel oh ok! thanks for correcting me. its still a great poem and you're incredibly talented :)

[@abbyrose7881]

This was so beautiful and raw

[@Chloe-ds9dd]

Does anyone know his social media account(s)?

[@alexking8467]

Thank you. For this poem. For this message. And for reminding me, and so many others, that I'm not alone. I keep trying to talk myself into and out of recovery all the time, and I really needed to hear this today. So, thank you.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Be good to yourself, okay? Recovery is hard work, but I promise, it’s so very worth it. ❤️

[@alexking8467]

@@iloveyoudaniel thank you.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

@@alexking8467 of course boo; you can do it!

[@kareemxo3]

This is so inspiring. I’m in love.

[@crunchybugz4202]

I have an eating disorder. I have had it for years. Ive finally gotten to a point where I don't starve myself and I feel confident, but I'm slipping into old habits. I still skip dinner without even realizing it. I still think about making myself throw up. I dont even want to change how I look, I just was my eating disorder for so long that it just comes back without me even knowing it. But im trying to get better. Im trying to love myself.

[@ben-mo1sp]

amazing job

[@mintyoongi608]

Daniel, I wish you eternal happiness.

[@wonderwallwonder]

Thanks a lot for this video. I’ve been bulímic since i was 15 years old and now that Im 26 Im finally getting help. Your words mean a lot

[@audreylawrence6794]

he deserves all the happiness the world has to offer

[@thisonechicc9285]

this just hit so hard.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Same

[@madeleinedavis7517]

I'm sobbing. I needed to hear this.

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Glad it found it’s way to you ❤️

[@madeleinedavis7517]

@@iloveyoudaniel Thankyou so much

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Of course ✨ be good to yourself, k? ❤️

[@madeleinedavis7517]

@@iloveyoudaniel I still come back to this regularly. Thank you for writing this 💕

[@iloveyoudaniel]

Hope you’re doing well 🌸

[@iloveyoudaniel]

happy half a decade to me // can't believe i made it this far in recovery

[@claire-do2ei]

Daniel wow, half a decade! that’s inspiring. so happy for you!!

[@iloveyoudaniel]

@@claire-do2ei thanks so much