The Bloody Vampire: Bad Movie Review

[@paultapner2769]

I get the feeling Santo would have sorted it all out in five minutes and then still had time for some wrestling

[@michaelgray5958]

Completely agree!

[@suedenim]

The luchador movie formula really is pretty much "take this movie and replace all the lecture scenes with wrestling."

[@colleencrouch4346]

And a cup of coffee!

[@varanid9]

And time to build a time machine.

[@justsurfin5013]

Now my favorite movie line "All the time I wasted, waiting for a hanging!"

[@KarlBunker]

"Let us go on talking about the same subject." As of now, I live for the day when I'll be able to use that line in a conversation.

[@Z3WHA6]

😂 And now I am too.

[@andrewparsons2391]

"I know about coffee only in theory you see." You have to admire the sheer inanity and irrelevancy of that statement.

[@Oppeldeldoc1]

I'm getting flashbacks of MST3K's version of the movie SKYDIVERS, with "the coffee guy."

[@quietdignityandgrace]

"All the time I've wasted waiting for a hanging." Preach brother preach! I feel your pain.

[@skylx0812]

...a hung what

[@skylx0812]

So glad you remembered to pack that garlic quote and haul it into the new year.

[@bostonrailfan2427]

it has been missed, and was the best part of this entire review

[@diegoferreiro9478]

The Man from Las Pedroñeras never dissapoints.

[@pmsusana]

Invasion of the Vampires is one of the best vampire films produced by this studio, and a HUGE improvement over the original. As usual, the awkward English dubbing is a problem, but the film's most frightening sequences contain no dialog - particularly the sequence where the Count's undead victims all rise from their tombs and invade the town (hence the title). This scene is truly terrifying. Oh, and the Count and horrible Hildegarde do finally get their comeuppance, and the injection pump from the first film is actually put to good use. This film scared the HELL out of me as a child, and the up-from-the-grave climax still makes my skin crawl!

[@rsacchi100]

Yes, by all means give "invasion of the vampires" a go.

[@ronnieburton1312]

Frankenhausen's wife, played by the beautiful Erna Martha Baumann, is the best thing about the movie!

[@finncullen]

One fun bit of accuracy - The real Cagliostro's real name was Giuseppe Balsamo (like the vinegar indeed)

[@Ilcinemachenonce]

In English his name would be Joseph Balm 😂

[@billmurray7473]

I'll make sure to put that on my salads 🥗.

[@BarryHart-xo1oy]

Good to know.

[@NGMonocrom]

Yes, review it! I want to see what happens with the coffee!

[@AquamentusLives]

I bet the science advisor could have saved them a lot of time demonstrating that anti-vampire device.

[@quietdignityandgrace]

When a director loves a script so much they'll make sure every last line of dialog goes in!

[@karlkarlos3545]

Quentin Tarantino: Hold my shoe.

[@suething5587]

I was a kid in the early 60's when I saw this movie with my grandfather in a local theater, in the original Spanish.

[@DarkCornersReviews]

I'm assuming it was at least a little better!

[@markiangooley]

The Bloody Vampire would be an excellent title for a comedy-horror film about very English people, after initial repeated setbacks, overcoming and killing a vampire. Maybe, though, That Bloody Vampire! would be an even better title.

[@SpunkMonkey]

That's a glorious bat puppet; I wonder where it is now?

[@baynemacgregor8441]

Definitely a high point in vampire movie bat puppets. I think there should be a special episode on those comparing them across film and tv (Dark Shadows one definitely needs inclusion).

[@moonkeele]

5:14 was I the only one who wanted the sound of rearing horses?

[@paintnamer6403]

Frau Blucher

[@shannondore]

Graham should have put that in. It would have been hilarious.😂

[@garrick3727]

@@shannondore I was very much expecting it.

[@thribs]

So he kills everyone and escapes?

[@fattiger6957]

Frakenhausen? I'd rather watch a movie about Frakenhosen, where there is a pair of monster pants made up of patches of dead men's pants!

[@helenj4902]

This really needs the MSTK3 treatment to be bearable 🤣🤣

[@BarryHart-xo1oy]

Quite true.

[@GrandOldMovies]

All those irrelevant coffee discussions! Because the Count never drinks...coffee...

[@raulcruz716]

This movie is a little easier to take in it's original Spanish language version, bad dubbing can make even THE SEVEN SAMURAI look awful.

[@ashleys9397]

You are One Hundred Percent correct. Lousy dubbing can easily spoil an otherwise perfectly good movie. And yes, this rule applies to ALL foreign made films.

[@Torgo-and-the-Lucifer-Cat]

Pip pip, jolly well done, we'd be fine if it wasn't for that bloody vampire, old sport. 😅

[@reignfire85]

The laughing bat is unintentionally the best part of the film. I saw cover the sequel. There's a chance you'll get to it one day, so might as well make a plan of it for later viewing.

[@blueberrypanquakes]

I gotta ask, cuz the interwebs aren't helping me. Where does the "garlic up to your ass" clip come from?

[@DarkCornersReviews]

Night of the Werewolf confusingly kzbin.info/www/bejne/j6jRf4SsfJikm7c

[@sampoernaquatrain1710]

You Googled that? Oh heavens, man! I'm afraid to see your search results!

[@shannondore]

​@@sampoernaquatrain1710🤣

[@KarlBunker]

@@sampoernaquatrain1710 "Including results for garlic up your ass Search only for garlic up to your ass"

[@antinatalope]

Oh god. This doesn't require overtalking to be funny. Well, at least I know what a vampire movie would be like, with Burt Reynolds starring in it. 😂

[@ianmcnulty799]

Was that final clip a vampire rabbit?

[@emilybell7842]

I'd also delicately ignore the dead body if I were hunting mandragora, since it grows from the, erm, seed of the hanged man.

[@skylx0812]

Add some mundane chat about pie and that guy could be another Agent Cooper.

[@ashleys9397]

But keep in mind: It's got to be CHERRY pie--and nothing other than. That & a good steaming cup of joe.

[@lewisdoherty7621]

I guess the title: THE RETURN OF THE MANIACALLY LAUGHING VAMPIRE didn't work in tests for the sequel.

[@thrashpondopons8348]

Is it me... or does Frankenhausen look like Slim Whitman???

[@Gappasaurus]

This episode was an absolute hoot 😄 Was laughing all the way through, but absolutely lost it at 7:46 🤣 Thanks for ending my Monday on a high note 😁👍 Edit: Yes to reviewing the sequel! I MUST KNOW how this verbosely gripping drama will play out! 😱

[@markdavidwelsh3340]

The sequel is better as I remember it, but then I thought both were a slight cut above the usual Mexican vampire films! 🤣

[@garrick3727]

I've come to the conclusion that the real horror of low budget mid-20th-century horror movies was authoritative figures either doing or explaining science.

[@DMfilmfan]

Seems as if the only "sort-of-cool" thing that happens is around 2:10 when those coffins pop open at the vampire's gesture.

[@iDEATH]

I hope I never get to the point that that garlic clip no longer makes me chuckle.

[@colleencrouch4346]

The coffee discussion seems to be the best part of the film.

[@AmityvilleFan]

...hausen? Where is my stop-motion?

[@caesarmendez6782]

Yes, Invasion of the Vampires is better than this flick. They don't don't waste time talking or being reluctantly stupid.

[@southron_d1349]

It's pronounced "Frunkenhoosen".

[@benderbendingrodriguez420]

"I know about coffee only in theory" What the actual F is that supposed to mean??

[@garycook5071]

The vampire and the theory of coffee

[@euansmith3699]

Robin, "I've heard that the sequel is better... Should we review it anyway?" 😄😄😄

[@gingataisen]

"You call that a slap?" 🤣

[@DaleBaker-e3u]

Wow. This contents at least one actor, here who is nearly as loud as Brian Blessed. I may watch this film, if there's no other films, in the entire universe. Very entertaining video, which is witty and very well presented.

[@grumpyoldwizard]

Cagliostro? Reminds me of Spawn. The Mexican horror movies can be quite horrifying. Especially late night when you are tired. Their skeleton horseback riders are top among those with me. (I can't recall the name)

[@bostonrailfan2427]

same origin, based on an 18th century Italian count named Cagliostro

[@winternow2242]

Came for the garlic. Lots and lots of garlic. Was not disappointed.

[@l.a.gothro3999]

Oh, I thought you said, "At long last, love!"

[@davidqualls7986]

Wow, you really hit the nail on the head with this one! Or should i say the stake! It has such a nice, creepy beginning and then its talk, talk, talk! And that coffee scene! You'd think in a movie allegedly about vampires they'd have a bit of irony when talking about a drink, but no its just more irrelevant talk! I remember "Invasion of the Vampires" being much better, but almost any movie ive seen is better than this one!!!!

[@DanDoty-i5n]

This is the most unbearable review I've ever seen. My God, how did you guys manage to sit through this whole movie with your sanity intact? Vampirina ? Wasn't she a horror host in Cleveland during the 70's?

[@ashleys9397]

You're thinking VAMPIRA---and yes she was the horror hostess on a syndicated TV movie show (though I think it was actually Hel. A. rather than Cleveland, though I could be mistaken on that count). Most notably, Vampira was somehow cajoled by Ed Wood into appearing in PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE; but everybody oughta know that. It was truly a career defining performance.

[@brenthenshaw3585]

02:33 I knew it was coming!

[@Emperor_Oshron]

1:31 presumably unrelated to that guy who has tons of "goat bills" that he can use to crash a country's currency as desired :P

[@dannystaton5386]

Greetings from south Carolina 😮

[@billmurray7473]

Cagliostro. The Van Helsing of Mexico 🇲🇽.

[@doltsbane]

Oh, come-on. It's worth the price of admission just for that bat!

[@MorristheMinor]

Unfortunately, the coach driver had been on The Jane Plan diet too long and had family and friends too polite to point this out...

[@bostonrailfan2427]

you gotta have a sequel if only to see if it improves upon the original or is just as boring…

[@davidchurch5932]

Cagliostro as a vampire hunter? Frankenhauser? A really wierd mix.

[@ashleys9397]

This movie has a very scratchy soundtrack. Every hiss & sound hiccough is noticeably audible. It makes me wonder how old this print is.

[@galloe8933]

Well, from the look of the movie I think it was supposed to be serious, but I think it looks more silly than scary, but then the font for "The end" looks like some Spirit Halloween text. Thinking on it, it's an old movie and most of the things I think are silly probably had been innovative for their time, but then I remember The Scorpion King, and the uncanny valley adjacent The Rock, The Scorpion. That movie wasn't meant to be silly, but it was also tongue and cheek a lot of the time, not whatever the heck was going on with the Rock's smooth face, and stinger, simply being a thing that happened. That brings me back to this movie, from the start, this movie is at least 50 years older than all of us, unless it's the hosts Science dad, moving on... There are jokes in that movie that don't hit as hard as they did at the time, IF I can understand any of them enough to know I even heard or saw a joke, but aslo, and this is a big one, I'm not from Mexico, but the film is, so now it's not only exceedingly old and out of date with my basic understanding of tropes, and jokes from the time, but the cultural cues that worked out the emotions and feelings on a deeper level than "I think that looks silly, weee!" But also that.

[@ButcherSevenActual]

Should you review Invasion of the Vampires? What kind of a question is that? Absolutely!

[@andrewgwilliam4831]

To be fair, there are the Frankenhausens of Oaxaca, the Frankenhausens of Guanajato, the Frankenhausens of Baja California, the Frankenhausens of Xalapa... Anyway, the film is Mexican and that's sufficient reason for me to watch it. 🤗

[@Bigbadwhitecracker]

Definitely review the caffeine ridden sequel.

[@johndemeritt3460]

Ooooo! While I'd love to have seen the original MST3K crew take on this turd, they're not doing MST3K anymore. But I'd be willing to see Svengoolie take it to task!

[@rychadelko]

Great, a Gothic horror review! The best genre there is. Btw, the Mexicans must have really loved it.

[@Bonzulac]

Didn't know Mexico invented Dark Shadows

[@alandhopewell]

I don't see how it could be worse.

[@buzzawuzza3743]

Having DC go entirely Mexican in content is okay by me. My friends and I might travel there ourselves to make our first feature film, Curse Of The Return From Beneath The Land Of Blood And Screaming Skulls In Mexico.

[@monkeymanbob]

Apparently the sequel is much, much better. But that might not be saying much.

[@Flood520]

I guess the director was paid by the reel.

[@maplebob23]

I got to be Like 666 today! I commemorated with a screenshot I’ll probably soon forget.

[@Mailed-Knight]

Yes.

[@rickdrais9737]

The vampire looks like Slim Whitman. Wonder if he yodels

[@ericalbany]

Well, you can't say they didn't try.

[@97GeoPrizm]

Even the short clips feel boring!

[@keithwright1621]

Definitely Invasion is a blast.

[@ve2vfd]

A lot of garlic!

[@BarryHart-xo1oy]

As much as l like Robin and Dark Corners,it pains me how he mangles the name”Cagliostro”.As anyone familiar with Italian pronunciation knows,the “gli” is pronounced like the “li” in “million”.

[@gejopohl5102]

A bad movie, indeed, but this review is greatest fun!

[@patrickmoreau7592]

Holy crap 😂😂 Funny video

[@TeatroGrotesco]

Franken-Frau

[@1kylecurry]

This one is a slow burn...very slow.

[@fembotheather3785]

Frau Bleucher ;)