Mindjack (XBox 360) Review

A Christmas present to my viewers: one of the worst games to grace the XBox 360.
And PS3.
But mostly the 360.

[@gameexpert133]

Reminds me of the old days. Oh how i miss this game after angry joe tore it apart

[@ddjsoyenby]

same :)

[@shcdemolisher]

I THINK that was the video that introduced me to him.

[@viscountrainbows2857]

Games like these make me glad I missed whatever generation the XBox 360 and PS3 were on. I'd probably have ended up owning this shitshow.

[@Zcrub]

God that review was absolutely hilarious

[@JosieJOK]

“WHAT IS THE POINT OF A BOSS FIGHT IF YOU DO NOT FIGHT THE BOSS?!” That review was hilarious!

[@Zcrub]

"Everyone loves monkeys, you can even create a little monkey minion army" - Angry Joe, 2011

[@mirza2698]

"Monkey minions, monkey minions (intelligible monkey noises)"

[@Zcrub]

@@mirza2698 only to have the game freeze 5 seconds later

[@MrBrandonStar]

@@mirza2698 classic joe

[@micolash3196]

who the fuck cares what that unfunny spic thinks? who the fuck watches sthat SHILL today? why do you do that? oh god what the fuck happened to this fucking website

[@jaygooese4242]

@@Zcrub yep how unreasonable

[@DMSwordsmaster]

One last little footnote to the utter stupidity that is this game's story. The dude whose neck was snapped? He shows up at the ending. Just a tad cross. A mind bogglingly stupid note to a mind bogglingly stupid ending to a mind bogglingly stupid story that nobody gave a crap about. This game was always fascinating to me in its sheer... Awfulness. This is the only time I've seen someone actually review the entire thing and not just (rightfully) break down and give up. Kudos to you.

[@tylern6420]

guess the guy got mindhacked

[@Ars-Nova258]

(Paraphrased) “Every civilian has a gun and gun racks litter the streets!” Oh cool! This game takes place in Chicago.

[@ddjsoyenby]

or detroit.

[@AlphaZeroX96]

That wasn't funny.

[@LaineMann]

@@AlphaZeroX96 yes it was

[@Romrojal]

apparently everyone lives in this city like it's New York in taxi driver with the amount of heat the civilians are packing.

[@ddjsoyenby]

to be fair this does take place in america where there are more g*ns than people :D

[@FORIAMAM]

The guy with the Alma Elma name has given me PTSD about a VERY bad visual novel.

[@dexoverse4622]

Two reviews in one day? What a treat

[@jaygooese4242]

Interesting

[@AlphaZeroX96]

The concept of players invading the single player campaign has been done before and better. It's called Counter-Operative, and it's from Perfect Dark on the N64.

[@aguy4326]

I remember always being frustrated when playing uncharted and losing my guns because Nate walked into a new level but this game is just ridiculous

[@ddjsoyenby]

agreed.

[@noahbusch7542]

Which uncharted?

[@aguy4326]

@@noahbusch7542 the first game but it could be annoying in 2 and 3 as well

[@shinigamainako8663]

I remember getting into arguments with my best friend because I was playing the first Uncharted like Resident Evil and trying to keep the magnum at all times. It took a long time till I finally gave up and decided to just use whatever the game gave cause it was going to keep taking the guns away.

[@almaelma11]

Great video! Been waiting on this one for a while! I like to give games chances when I hear about there infamy and I found that this game, at the very least, has ok gunplay. I say the 25 dollars total I spent on both versions of the game to play with you and Shnick were worth it but if I was playing alone it would have been a much harder pill to swallow for sure. Glad me and Shnick could help ya in the multy mode. Shame the 360 version muuuuch worse then the ps3 version.

[@Darklordjadow1]

Yeah, huge thanks for the help online! If you had played this game solo, it would have made a MUCH worse impression. Somewhere around the fifth time the AI partner needed rescuing because they tried to fist fight a horde of armed soldiers.

[@shnick1990]

Was fun getting to play online with the two of you! Even if it was MindJack...

[@MrK-tp1gr]

Every game can be enjoyable when you have friends. Although some games are beyond help.

[@mattc2306]

@@MrK-tp1gr Yeah, like Marvel's Avengers or Anthem.

[@joshnolen2675]

"What the fuck have we been doing for the past six hours!? Politely suggesting that they should join us and kill their friends!? What the fuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!?" Angry Joe 2011

[@shcdemolisher]

I always thought it was odd that he didnt' say anything about the ending, but given how paper thin it is... I can see why it wasn't included.

[@ellnats]

square enix is that old dude who tries to be Hip and Cool, but pretty much fails so hard he looks like Steve Buscemi "how do you do fellow kids?" except not as funny

[@HubPie3]

I remember when Angry Joe reviewed this game aaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllll the way back in 2011. The "whole world is explode" bit has lived rent-free in my head for over a decade because of how hilariously bad I find it.

[@Shades14]

2:27 OK that guy's reaction is priceless. I need that to become a reaction gif asap.

[@Darklordjadow1]

That is from the movie Twisted Pair, the fifth movie by Writer/Director/Star Neil Breen; whose movies I've recently become obsessed with. The dude is basically Tommy Wiseau with ambition: the acting is comically awful, the writing is incomprehensible, and they're bad movie absolute gold! Unfortunately two of his five movies are only available thru bootleg websites at the moment.

[@josephhall8682]

I'm sad to say that a Codename: Kids Next Door game did better with the "possess a enemy during combat to use their powers or abilities" gimmick as a fun little cheat code than a game fully BUILT around that concept.

[@viscountrainbows2857]

Oni didn't have enemy possession but it did have a character select cheat where you could use any character in that particular level, down to enemies including bosses, and friendly NPCs. And this was PS2, on a throwaway anime game by Rockstar. But Square Enix managed to shart this out so many years later. Mindblowing, the regression of game design over these years. The 80s, 90s, and early 2000s were truly the time when there was such a thing as effort, for the most part. Plenty of stinkers but, more legends per year, cult classic or blockbuster in game form, in that timeframe, as good game ideas are seemingly drying up due to corporate special interest. When they were just Squaresoft and Enix respectively, they built their legacy on classic JRPGs. Now they make brainless shooters, beat em ups, and God knows whatever else my brain doesn't want to remember. Tragedy. /rant

[@axllaw427]

"I don't know what is happened. Smoke and guns. The whole world is explode! So we're running! Running very fast!"

[@qinlongfei]

To be fair, AI partner walk in front of you and get themselves killed isn't that rare of an occurance. I still remember the first time I played Fallout 3 using an assault rifle, and my AI partner just walked in front of my line of fire and got himself killed.

[@shcdemolisher]

Yeah Modern Fallout your better off Solo then with a partner.

[@DinoDave150]

Here's a good third-person shooter for a palette cleanser for you. Try Vanquish. You'll actually have fun with it.

[@ddjsoyenby]

yeah that's a good game also gears of war and the mass effect series are good third person shooters :)

[@KaoruMzk]

The Mind Haxxorz (god, I hate that card’s English name) artwork on the thumbnail is a neat touch.

[@ShogunGin0]

I think the only other review os this game I've seen are Yahtzee's and Angry Joe's, and neither of them could bring themselves to finish the game. Your the first person I know who managed to completely wade through this sewage trench. Hope you play some good games to balance out the pain.

[@dc7981]

I remember wanting this game badly as a kid simply because the concept was cool also points for using footage from the Batman 04

[@omarmolina5895]

This is a treat for the end of the year. Plus will there be another retrospective on certain franchises for next year it'll be cool if you review Turok or banjo kazooie

[@ddjsoyenby]

this is a wonderful early christmas gift for us.

[@tylern6420]

you're everywhere

[@garretts6678]

Jadow: One of the worst games ever... Me: Aw, c'mon, it can't be that bad. Jadow: The game was published by Square Enix- Me: BURN IT! BURN IT WITH FIRE!

[@OneRealSilverRaven]

It must be my birthday! A new Jadow video!

[@damianlegion8455]

I love you still love doing those review. ❤

[@robertkovarna8294]

I wonder if you may ever cover Square Enix's Left Alive. The stealth based Front Mission game with survival horror level resource management.

[@Darklordjadow1]

Oh trust me, it's on the list. In fact, Shnick specially requested that game as payment for making the Jigsaw SFM in the Saw 2 video. It's the only JBG episode from Rerez I haven't watched so it doesn't taint my opinion going in.

[@robertkovarna8294]

@@Darklordjadow1 Ahhhhh. I will say this though. The recently covered game on Rerez, Dark? That's a worse game than Left Alive is.

[@tylern6420]

@@robertkovarna8294 just slandering twilight and then LITERALLY TAKING the plot twist from twilight for the bad guy

[@SuperMinecraftKlD]

great review! i remember getting this game and expecting it to be good because of square enix lol. you should totally review bubsy 3D for the PS1 i'd love to see your reaction! easily the worst game of the 5th generation

[@MrBrandonStar]

This game looks like it was developed in one year I’m glad I never played it

[@shis1988]

​@@MrBrandonStar Bubsy 3D sort of was. It was originally intended for the Sega 32X until that got discontinued, then they moved to PS1. It came out in Halloween 1996, months after Super Mario 64 and Crash Bandicoot (original). Some think the game would've been impressive if it wasn't after those... and I contend it wouldn't have. Not even if the 32X release came to fruition. Why? Because it somehow looks, and I'm not joking here, *worse* than the 1993 Star Fox, which was entirely polygonal due to 3D tech still being very new.

[@MrBrandonStar]

@@shis1988 I see

[@cjmoore9966]

You want a GOOD third person shooter with AI partners, cover-based combat, and an engaging science fiction setting and plot? Might I recommend Binary Domain?

[@MILDMONSTER1234]

This

[@BCRivers]

*Jadow:* I review heavily requested games around Christmas time. *Me, who has been requesting Minecraft: Story Mode for the past year:* And I took that personally.

[@shcdemolisher]

3:25 Jadow, I hate to say this, but you aren’t using cover properly. Your using it like how a FPS character would use, not Gears of war style where you HAVE TO USE the cover button!! Because then the weapons will fire around cover properly!

[@Darklordjadow1]

I tried firing while taking cover. It often didn't help. And sometimes the game actively kicked me out of cover when I tried to shoot.

[@shcdemolisher]

Ohhhhhh. Nevermind then. Forgive me for not understanding.

[@samz8691]

Its sad to see how only really two games did a body swapping mechanic well: Driver San Francisco (aside from the Wii version which was an entirely different, if still decent entry) and the console exclusive Battlefired 2: Modern Combat. (Which also had an interesting idea of you playing both sides of a war with propaganda on both sides lying, even if a dumb late-game twist ruins it.)

[@shcdemolisher]

Ah that sucks, I should try out the Battlefield games.

[@samz8691]

@@shcdemolisher BF2 MC is the only one with body swapping. The rest either only have bot matches or linear call of duty-like campaigns of varrying quality.

[@erainmartinez8175]

Freaking finally! how about reviewing Diablo 3? Because the new trailer won't shut up about Diablo 4 now!!

[@jaygooese4242]

I agree

[@morale.9330]

Hey there, DLJadow! Long time fan here! I'm just passing by to let you in on a potential topic for future discussion... Might I suggest you look into an old PSX/PS2 game called "Green Rogue"? It's part of the olden Army Men series of games, and I remember the PS2 REMAKE of said game being somewhat unwieldy in the controls, graphics, gameplay, and... EVERYTHING department. That said though, it isn't necessarily broken BUT it's far from being an enjoyable experience to play through either. I figured it might be of some interest to you if you care to look into it, Jadow.

[@shcdemolisher]

That’s a THING?! I knew the old Army man series died with the N64 Sarge’s war. Though there was an RTS game on pc that I played that was quite good.

[@VortexGaming1194]

So in the end, I guess you could sum up this game as a 5 star ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ pain in the ass!

[@SMSHR]

Wanna hear something more crazier about the unbalanced nature of the game? In online multiplayer, leveling up to I think level 15 unlocks the access to balance the teams out. Read that again.

[@Darklordjadow1]

Yeah, I equipped that skill and could not figure out how to actually use it

[@DanielEastwood25]

Merry Christmas DLJ! Been a happy subscriber for a while, and can't wait for a new year of more incredible reviews of bad games!

[@dragongamerx12]

the little rolling robot reminds me of the bikes from the gantz manga

[@noahbusch7542]

Merry Christmas, Jadow! Hope your doing well!

[@KentaroMiyamoto21]

Seems like this game needed a lot more time to cook.

[@sergeantjoe]

Oh so when you mentioned a new review in the comment section of the Blackwater gameplay video is coming soon, you meant soon soon

[@Shades14]

So the mindhack is like the mind trick from The Force Unleashed games but somehow worse?

[@demontorch]

Ever heard of the game Prototype? It’s like Infamous and Resident Evil had a baby

[@shcdemolisher]

I know of it but never played it.

[@ALIEN-DUDE]

Great suggestion

[@shadowleon659]

Never heard of this and thank god I never played it.

[@DinoEvanNinja]

I actually somewhat enjoyed this game not gonna lie. 😂

[@dragonstormx]

In terms of someone trying to summarize a story, I don't since I have heard Kang the Conqueror's backstory explained have I have ever heard someone explain so much and yet explained so little. I don't understand what is going on in this game anymore than when I saw Angry Joe's review of it. I do at least find random cutscenes funny to watch. Not enough to want to play the game, but enough to give thanks to anyone with the willpower to play it so other people can laugh at this stupid game.

[@tylersimons9067]

I am not familiar with this game, but it seems pretty horrible. I have heard some people refer to this mindjack as the bubsy 3d of the 360 and I can see why.

[@viscountrainbows2857]

Squaresoft becoming the video game equivalent of The Blob eating Enix was a tragedy in gaming. Both of them were so good separately. Now it's a mutated, bombed out shell of its former self aging worse than a rock star from the 80s.

[@KaoruMzk]

It's the other way around, Enix acquired Squaresoft after their failed movie endeavors left them near bankrupt. Enix was always the bigger company in Japan since they owned Dragon Quest, which has always been really popular over there to the point the launch days of new titles in the series are treated like holidays.

[@shis1988]

​@@KaoruMzk and DQ has done more things and most of them at least mid. DQ Monsters, the DQV movie, Dragon Quest anime (both 1993 and 2020 versions), Heroes, Builders and upcoming anime game. Enix also had Actraiser and the Soul series (Soul Blazer, Illusion of Gaia/Time and Terranigma).

[@noahvance6160]

25:21 It'd also be like if Wonder Woman asked whether or not the Greek gods were real.

[@williamstewart9031]

I can't tell what the worst aspect of this game is. The broken gameplay, the bad writing, the awful voice acting or the mentally challenged A.I.?

[@BoleDaPole]

Holy crap I totally forgot about this game. I vaugly remember playing the demo back in the day.

[@austinblack7991]

I got a great game idea for you man real heroes firefighter for the Wii

[@YukoValis]

Mindjack. As in don't mind jack, he is a little... terrible.

[@ldragon2515]

Man, it also doesn’t help this game’s case that there are other Japanese shooters from that time that are so much better, such as Vanquish and Binary Domain, two titles I strongly recommend you check out. Heck, if you want a good co-op Japanese shooter, just stick with Lost Planet 2. Much more fun and polished than Mindjack. ;) You gonna review any of those games?

[@BusrtNova]

Seeing how bad the mindjack concept was fumbled makes me wanna play Syndicate

[@elin111]

Why is it that people keep forgetting Square has a lot of crap under their belt?

[@newbienoah9461]

I guess they're mainly known for Final Fantasy

[@devonwilliams5738]

I remember Jadow's video on this game, and he also blew a gasket at the mindjack reveal scene.

[@shcdemolisher]

You mean Angryjoe, he really did blow one.

[@devonwilliams5738]

@@shcdemolisher Yes, that's what I meant.

[@leemcdonald1342]

Mindjack. That title sound dirty to me.

[@UnrealNeoBat]

29:28 Hey look, It's Cy-gor from the Spawn Comics!

[@bchil8738]

Could you please reveiw the pc game Bad Day L.A.?

[@jhomariemanzano2258]

Awesome review bro I never knew this game existed

[@johnv7317]

Can you please do a review of Little Witch Academia: Chamber of Time (PS4/PC). The two films and TV show of the anime series is really good but the game...not so much

[@patg108]

seems like more fun than battleship on home consoles

[@jaygooese4242]

No check points?! That's very pathetic

[@claytonrios1]

How did they have the boss shoot the ground? What is the point of a boss battle if you do not battle the boss?

[@Darklordjadow1]

He didn't shoot the ground when I fought him in solo. My best guess is he shoots the ground if you're playing co-op since he can't figure out which player to shoot at. But that's pure speculation on my part.

[@claytonrios1]

@@Darklordjadow1 Given how awful the AI is in this game I wouldn't be surprised if that was the explanation.

[@PunitveZero]

I was in college working at my bookstore at the time looking for something different to play. "Terrors of the Library" was it? Well I bought this game cause I thought it might be hidden gem. I got rid of this game after only a few levels. Only to see discover this very intersting channel called, you guesed it, Angry Joe. God a what a train wreck of game. Glad I became a fan of his a year later after his review was released ☹️

[@PunitveZero]

24:59 I'm sure if Joe would run into this video, he'd either throw something or punch the air HAHA

[@TheJ13579]

41:14: You sure someone didn't actually wrote this story and took their name off of it out of shame?

[@shcdemolisher]

I mean, anyone with dignity would! Or hell they probably did this as their first crack and wanted to ensure that they still got a job later.

[@shcdemolisher]

Though looking back in hindsight, I think story was an after thought, since most of the maps seem to be more focused on being multiplayer maps rather then story driven.

[@MrBrandonStar]

This game is better than ride to hell

[@tylern6420]

0:45 jadow you think thats a bad excuse wait until you garten of banban

[@MILDMONSTER1234]

So basically the multiplayer is a worse version of what Souls games have been doing?

[@ldragon2515]

Also, between this game, Dirge Of Cerberus, and The Third Birthday, I really think that shooters simply aren’t SE’s forte. They really should just stick to RPGs and the like. Heck, they even tried incorporating some elements from the FPS genre into the design of the first in the FFXIII trilogy, mainly all the corridors. And we all know how people reacted to that.

[@mattc2306]

Actually, The 3rd Birthday isn't that bad (save for a BS endgame boss), it's just that the game has a story that's nearly on par with Metroid: Other M.

[@ldragon2515]

@@mattc2306 Honestly, I'd say it's worse, because Other M at least has the excuse that it was very poorly translated.

[@mattc2306]

@@ldragon2515 At least it doesn't take away abilities for BS story reasons.

[@ldragon2515]

@@mattc2306 At least the reasons were, again, less ridiculous in the original non-localized version. 3rd Birthday's plot is a mess both translated and untranslated.

[@mattc2306]

@@ldragon2515 Still, when it comes to shooters on the PSP, it's at least decent gameplay-wise. Other M is just frustrating and cumbersome, even comparing it to other action games on the Wii.

[@tylern6420]

You should rip into the travesty known as security breach

[@tylern6420]

Yes, unpatched as well as the most recent patch, comparing how much they polished the liquid dump

[@UnrealNeoBat]

Rebecca looks like Flashback Samus from Other M.

[@portalmasterdragon7326]

10/10 best video ever 🎉

[@ETG715]

Awesome review

[@ryanhutchinson4467]

Hey Jadow! I feel like I’ve asked this question before, but I can’t for the life of me find my old comment if I have, so I’m just gonna ask you again: “What’s your Steam username?” I’d like to send you a friend request so I can buy you more games to review.

[@Darklordjadow1]

My Steam Username is just DarkLordJadow; keeping it classic from the early days

[@ryanhutchinson4467]

@@Darklordjadow1 Thanks!

[@hueyfreemanhisanimatedfrie925]

Honestly, the only game that managed to get brainjacking people right in my opinion is Driver San Francisco.

[@DmitriLeon2000]

You left out Geist for the GameCube.

[@thientuongnguyen2564]

Correction: Tanner was in a coma and SOMEHOW his head made it all the fuck up. He was jacking figments of how he perceived the people of San Francisco.

[@sugarsmile7852]

You know since you have an Xbox 360 why don't you try x-men origins wolverine or the unchanged edition of that game

[@ellnats]

4:40 are we sure its the gun? or that stormtroopers cant see a thing in those helmets? im joking along with you

[@shcdemolisher]

Yeah this plot was a full mess.

[@Locaneo]

How come Yoko Taro made a better shooter (Bullet Witch) around the same time which was also a broken mess from a person who never made a shooter before?

[@heatherjohnson6836]

Pls review airport sim 2014

[@TylerAStinson]

26:38 They stole that from Spawn

[@Jaceblue04]

No writers in the credits? Given how that's pretty much unheard of, I'm going to assume that the writers demanded that their names be removed from the credits. Can't say that I can blame them; I wouldn't want to be associated with this travesty either.

[@shcdemolisher]

Now THAT makes sense! Because even with this non existence of a plot, SOMEONE had to write it! I would have my name removed out of sheer shame.

[@masterseal0418]

It really makes me sad that a company like Square Enix could make a game like this. Square fucking Enix made this game. The company that brought us Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Dragon Quest, Star Ocean, Parasite Eve, TWEWY, Bravely Default, among others. I'll admit, this is the worst game of 2011 tied with Duke Nukem Forever imo, so well played SE.

[@elin111]

Square Enix plenty bad games not just recently. Something like this having the name Square Enix on it is nothing new.

[@masterseal0418]

@@elin111 True. Nowadays, SE releasing games end up as hit or miss. Every AAA company would temporarily release a bad game every now and then.

[@shcdemolisher]

@@masterseal0418 Compared to now where it feels like they want to burn.

[@Takimeko]

Reminder that Final Fantasy was the result of one half of the Square Enix equation being in dire financial circumstances due to releasing dud after dud after dud throughout their existence up until that point.

[@heatherjohnson6836]

Pls review Despicable me on the wii

[@crazytankxd5758]

I don't know what is happen, do you know what does it mean?

[@TheJ13579]

11:48 - 11:55: I see you are a fan of The Batman and the vs. Dracula movie by extension?

[@Darklordjadow1]

Yeah, I put off watching that movie for ages because it sounded so dumb. It's a Halloween staple for me now

[@TheJ13579]

@@Darklordjadow1 Yeah, it’s one of my favorites too. Scared the shit out of me when I was a kid, though.

[@shcdemolisher]

Oh i love that movie!

[@micolash3196]

the concept is cool its just a shame the execution was so poor

[@ladyaceina]

at 1:29 but jadow she is an adult

[@mrplushking]

0:52 Uh... I think you uploaded this on the wrong website... Get the joke?

[@jaygooese4242]

Now I know why this game sucks

[@Takimeko]

What is up with this game's awkward-ass voice acting?

[@thientuongnguyen2564]

More embarrassingly, it flopped compared to another similar shooter with mindhacking concepts coming out just a year later made by THE WORST COMPANY at the time and that shit fared better than this game. How do you even lose to someone more terrible than that?

[@IamaPERSON]

What game was that?

[@thientuongnguyen2564]

@@IamaPERSON Syndicate, made by DICE and released by EA in 2012. It's Cyberpunk 2077 before Cyberpunk was announced.

[@IamaPERSON]

@@thientuongnguyen2564 sounds interesting, might check if it’s backwards compatible.

[@jessejones1783]

goddamn it i forgotten how damn much i hate FoodFight the shitty movie from 2012

[@Darklordjadow1]

Want to see more Mindjack suffering? Shnick uploaded the footage of our multiplayer sessions to his KZbin Channel! Part 1: kzbin.info/www/bejne/o2nOnHSupJVgfZY Part 2 (where Alma joined in): kzbin.info/www/bejne/gWSXdHyPmZKIp6s

[@smyk3ns]

😄😄

[@georgekartvelishvili4476]

25:59 26:21

[@matthewbraith0411]

This game sucks.

[@KnightedSilverWolf]

i could of sworn this game or another was next, not black water xD lmao, thats alot of toys