DARKSIDERS (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Darksiders.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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[@Booksds]

I actually thought he was joking about the portal gun until I got to that point in Darksiders... I think I laughed for 5 straight minutes when I found it.

[@pifilixxiv3192]

Booksds me too

[@bandicootsauce4569]

"A gun that opens blue and orange portals. OUTSTANDING." I laughed so hard at that.

[@ericsebena1734]

"I am a monster truck that walks like a man" is now my permanent battle cry.

[@timebomb4562]

my victory scream is i am squirting machismo out of my nipples

[@PhyreI3ird]

It should also be how you answer your phone.

[@VAWM.]

Yahtzee - "What's Pestilence going to do? Cough on people?" 2020 - "Challenge accepted."

[@Jaceblue04]

"What the fuck is Pestilence gonna do; cough on people?" That aged like a fine wine.

[@christophersmith8848]

I like Darksiders, and the sequel, and Warhammer 40K, and Too Human, I'm like the very antithesis of Yahtzee's existence.

[@christophersmith8848]

***** ha!

[@bindair_dundat]

I disagree in War's armor and appearance being too "much". Considering 75% of the world are fighters, they had to make War look different. And what better way to do that than equipping him in armor pieces of his defeated enemies? He is the embodiment of conquest. Collecting bunny slippers of his opponents would be boring, so he keeps armor pieces of them as trophies. That is why his armor seems to be different pieces of different sets. It's not like he wears armor for protection. He is a Horseman of the Apocalypse, after all.

[@cambiankatako1220]

Bindair Dundat Considering in some versions of the story of Revelations from the bible (Yes, that's where the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse come from) War is actually Conquest, that makes even more sense.

[@Soitisisit]

Cambian Katako Huh. I thought it was that Conquest came first in the form of a charismatic leader, then War, then Famine, and Pestilence and Death were the one that was the same person. Granted, it's been a very long time since I've read Revelations and your mileage may vary on translation.... ( Which is really the part that scares me most about Revelations. Not only does it have a big fat warning against mistranslating it or adding anything, but also what if that's already happened and we're short a few warning signs or vastly misunderstanding the entire thing. )

[@cambiankatako1220]

Soitisisit The thing is that with the four horsemen, people do have different ideas of who is who and what is what. Also, since each of the horsemen are supposed to kill 1/4 of the population and Famine is one of them, which is really common down in the rural African countries...

[@isacc8324]

Bindair Dundat I have to agrey with you but i am one of the Galatians mass that like warhammer 40k

[@glitchedoom]

"I am a monster truck that walks like a man!" My favorite Yahtzee quote.

[@kirkhasglassesthetube]

After playing through darksiders myself recently, I now appreciate this so much more.

[@Steidemeister56]

I personally loved darksiders but I can still appreciate how hilarious this review is xD

[@BelartWright]

That's why I'm here.

[@pifilixxiv3192]

Me tio

[@TheGuardDuck]

One of my favorite reviews for one of my favorite games!

[@theblackwingedsoul]

Oh my fucking god, I love Darksiders but holy shit this is gold XD

[@SerbStar2011]

is the game really that amazing to you that you had to make your youtube picture the saving icon of the game...

[@theblackwingedsoul]

Yes. Yes it was.

[@nordicberserk]

"gelatinous creatures that likes warhammer 40k?" HEY!

[@Heraldus90]

I call heresy

[@adiscerningdunmer9311]

I'd like to think I'm not gelatinous.

[@Pattyobrien3]

@@adiscerningdunmer9311 I'm pretty sure I know I am.

[@Robert399]

Darksiders looks 1000x stupider than 40k.

[@gittonsxv126]

darksiders may be lacking in originality but it is still fun and enjoyable to play.

[@Baron4827]

Apparently i'm a gelatinous creature...And i'm okay with that.

[@SinerAthin]

GELATINOUS CREATURES UNITE!

[@magnusbergman6153]

GEL FOR THE GEL GOD!

[@Baron4827]

HERESY!

[@Baron4827]

NOH...WEL YES FOR EMPEROR! BUT ALSO FOR THE SILENT KING! (I collect Space Marines and Necrons) ... FOR THE SILENT EMPEROR

[@colboy1fish]

The funny thing is that I am a wh40k fan and my profile picture supports yathzees comment. XD

[@Megaspartan23]

04:02- 04:05 That pretty much sums up Tetsuya Nomura, with his character designs. That batman figure he made still hurts to look at.

[@explodingtomahawks7589]

I just looked up his DC designs and I feel like I need to roll up a newspaper, hit him on the nose repeatedly, and shout "No! Less is more! NO"

[@Athrun82]

And what's Pestilence gonna do cough on people"? *Corona-chan has entered the chat*

[@AshAndTheOrchestra]

"The main character looks like someone sat down, started drawing.. and then never fucking stopped!" Brilliant! "What War looks like is a fucking coral reef on legs" HAHAHAHAHAHA!! I love the Darksiders games but this was a great watch!

[@MrVulcanator]

Would have been fun to be able to play all the Horsemen. Like pick one to be your character for the game. Famine could eat enemies and steal health. Pestilence could summon swarms of rodents and could make zombies.

[@voltrainer]

+Mr. Vulcanator there is no famine or pestilence in the games, its fury and strife

[@MrVulcanator]

VoltaireSurge Well that's no fun.

[@voltrainer]

+Mr. Vulcanator well one is a gun ninja the other is a fire dominatirix with a whip

[@Shadethewolfy]

To be fair, there are some versions of the bible, though I don't know which ones, that refer to the Horsemen by different names. War, Famine, Pestilence and Death are just one set of names for them. Don't ask me why, but I think it's like how different religions have different names for the same gods of other religions. Like Ares and Mars, both the God of War of two separate pantheons, which are Greek and Roman I believe. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong though.

[@Ghorda9]

the christian bible has famine and pestilence as one and the same and conquest as the 4th horseman

[@slugofborg6532]

4:20 HERESY!

[@MrMaxtremo]

By far my favorite of all of his Zero Punctuations. I still come back to enjoy this every now and again. I think it says a lot when a critique of something is good enough to warrant subsequent viewings.

[@shasorokin73]

Yahtzee can rip my favorite games apart all he wants, that stab at 40k fans is the only comment that hurt. It's very true, but still painful XD

[@Shadethewolfy]

I agree with you, on both points.

[@epicsheepgamer7002]

I'm a gelatinous creature...YAY!! :D

[@Trynt33]

it's just how he is, cows go moo, the sun rises in the morning, birds fly, and yahtzee tear's almost every game he reviews a new one

[@KRIMZONMEKANISM]

I usually agree with Yahtzee... BUT! I fucking love the art style of Darksiders, it's about the only thing original in the game even though i enjoyed quite a bit of it and yes, it did get stale and yes, the story almost shouts fuck all because no one really gets invested on it.

[@Mooseplatoon]

Please google Arthas from the Warcraft series and weep bitter, bitter tears over the death of your only praise. :P

[@KRIMZONMEKANISM]

OriginalityImpaired They are kind of similar, but War is WAY more badass, at least to me that is. :3

[@ReiAyanami8]

You don't really have to "agree" with Yahtzee. By his own admittance, he's just someone who looks for disparaging things to say about games. Look at his review, or whatever he calls them, of Arkham Asylum. He pretty much fell in love with the game, but that's not his usually shtick, so he had to look for things that were off with it. I watch the dude because he gives me the giggles something fierce.

[@crabdragon243]

Heresy to critisize 40k! (although I respect your opinions and find your videos funny) HERESY!!!!

[@LordLucian86]

This had me in tears lmao, subscribed.

[@travro2525]

Thank you so much for pointing out the nonsense of modern day fantasy armor design and the ridiculousness of huge table size swords. Thank you.

[@plasmanarwhal]

So far, I've found Darksiders to be pretty enjoyable. There are a couple camera issues, almost no combo system, and a few sequences that are obviously just padding (e.g. the shadow challenges that should just be a separate mode on the main menu, like in God of War). However, the presentation, platforming, and Zelda-temple portions are a welcome delight and I'd recommend at least giving this one a shot.

[@pifilixxiv3192]

plasmanarwhal yeah, altrought the camera in the pc version is more sensitive then a feminist on a spring break party.

[@pifilixxiv3192]

And I gave it a shot and still playing it, even got the abyss armor and almost all artefacts, plus might gonna get the sequels

[@danielnelson560]

4:17 i have to agree as a fan of 40k, we got some weird style ideas

[@pifilixxiv3192]

Daniel Nelson like space marines or orcs ?

[@Darknessblade4me]

Pifilix XIV Eldar. i´d say eldar. These knife eared f*ckers are as arrogant as their armor lacks in protection. A metric f*ckton

[@Jaynesslessly]

that last line was gold

[@spamreciever4208]

Now I think about it, War does look kinda like my Dark Angels Librarian.

[@Fools_Requiem]

I don't care, it's two bucks on Steam right now, and it looks like halfway decent mindless fun.

[@GettingYourNerdOn]

I personally loved the first Darksiders game.

[@dalorasinum386]

GettingYourNerdOn me to and the second. But now I get why I like the look of War as I like world of Warcraft and Warhammer 40k.

[@GenericProtagonist118]

Recently got back into Darksiders. And honesty the mishmash, Frankenstein nature of it and the fact that the characters are designed so silly yet stay 100% serious the whole time is the funniest thing to me and the reason I still think the game is decent.

[@ThePa1riot]

I will agree with Yahtzee on one thing, War doesn't have much going in way of being an actual character. Yes, he's motivated by a sense of penance for the action that he DIDN'T take, so at least he shows something in the way of duty. Cleaning up someone's mess even if it isn't his fault, just because it must be done. But on the other hand, I usually picture the Four Horseman as being emotionless and uniform, so it's not much of an adaptation is it? Why not go the Ares or Thor route and make War into Pro Wrestler? Alternatively, you could make him the child of Napolean by way of Athena; cold, tactical, but with a hidden layer of mania and egotism underneath. THERE! That's a character! See writers, I just pulled that one out of my nose!

[@pifilixxiv3192]

Anthony Clay well, thats already taken by joker, and I actually like war in the darksiders game, and it actually makes a better char then having him as a war obsessed maniac, with a joker complex. Hey, not everyone needs to be what their names expect.

[@thebodhishow5025]

i don't know whats funnier...the point where I had to stifle my audible "Hey!" at the shot on 40k or the fact i'm painting my army as I watch this....

[@JinFreeks]

The borg joke was amazing, had me laughing for nearly a minute.

[@Parkwaydrive1220]

The last minute or so is his best to date XD

[@solomonrex3955]

This has always been my favorite of Yahtzee's reviews. Never even played the game

[@allenhernandez3350]

That pestilence joke is funnier in a post 2020 world

[@stevesteveson2435]

If there were a perfect game, you´d make a mod adding some mistakes to rip those apart. I like that.

[@michaelkemel9711]

Steve Steveson Not necessarily. He had no complaints about Portal.

[@Sonnyrazer]

thank you for correcting me there i wasnt entirely sure which was the sister because i didnt have the time to check the wiki either

[@JD867]

"His costume looks like he covered himself in magnets and fell into a pots and pan cupboard." Hah!

[@ArcaneAzmadi]

Hang on a second, I just noticed something weird: when Yahtzee's talking us through the combos, they all depend on mashing the square button, with illustrative diagram- but whenever he pulls the game's box out to show it to us, it's the 360 version! What gives, Yahtzee! Are you trying to pull a fast one?

[@calvinclark9478]

Funny thing is Pestilence has been portrayed in games, remember Prototype? Not really biblical but concept of plague based person fighting like Kratos is the idea.

[@Chungussy]

The bit about 'finally a tool which isn't from Zelda, a gun which fires blue and orange portals' Hahaha. That's exactly what I thought at the time.

[@infinightmoon6268]

It seemed much faster to me in the beginning,but I think my mind caught up to his rambling after a half dozen episodes.

[@Helena-mh6ti]

"Cough on people" I fucking died XDD

[@Glacier2030]

2:07 I kinda agree. Maybe instant killing QTE's isn't so bad when it's used to make a flashy and gritty killing, as much as I don't care for them. It gets rid of the boredom of pulling linear combos.

[@TenDividedBySix]

The bit that got me was about santa handing out pink slips >.

[@raptormaster666]

"coral reef on legs." That's one of my favourite Yahtzee quotes.

[@CountXDracula]

yeah I saw that episode.

[@TheLuNaMaStEr]

This review is a work of art. My favorite one yahtzee well done :)

[@WandererTau]

"Death would make things to easy" -Yahtzee

[@zyad48]

i havent played DS1 but I love DS2 and well I dont care what Yahtzee thinks of them, I watch his videos for funny lines XD. I love how he described War's appearance it looks like someone sat down, started drawing him and then never fucking stopped!" XDDD, that was hilarious, although I think that some of my favorite lines of his are from games he likes like Castlevania SOTN with his line "you do have to backtrack a lot but its fun when i come back to places with enemies that gave me trouble 20 levels ago and then BBQing their floppy bits with *i forgot what he called it but it was something along the lines of fire sword from the depths of hell*" where I promptly fell over laughing my ass off XD

[@wellguesswhatIthink]

"It's a pretty weak title overall" -The man who always gives the game industry shit for focusing on petty details

[@novideohere100]

Hey, I heard that Warhammer: 40K comment, buster!

[@MaddJakd]

I liked Darksiders. War definitely had a laser focus and rarely let us in on what he was thinking but cant beat being a monster that walks like a man

[@GameLoot]

This is actually my favorite game series of all time... not really sure why but I love the characters and world they created.

[@BrothaDesmond2]

They should make a t-shirt with that quote.

[@Spore9996]

Can't wait for him to do Darksiders 2!

[@FatherTime89]

yeah he mentions that in the Bayonetta review, this was made before the game was out.

[@spellgalen808]

0:57 how ironic "COUGH" Darksiders 2 "COUGH"

[@sisyr5615]

While I actually enjoyed Darksiders a LOT and thought the visual design was one of the games strongest points, I do find this quote from Yahtzee hilariously awesome; "What War looks like is a fucking coral reef on legs". Amazing.

[@that1dude400]

I remember when the Game Informer edition of Darksiders 2 came out and they compared War to his brother Death like this" War is the type of person who walks down to the end of the street and uses the crosswalk, where Death would jay walk across the street causing a multicar accident, and would blame the city's mayor for making the street too long" In short War is an anal, rule abiding badass and Death is a rebellious, rule breaking badass. Their personalities influences Death's reason in DS 2.

[@linuslillen01]

3:07 always cracks me up. XD

[@evenflow714]

I love both Darksiders...

[@CountXDracula]

completely agree

[@MisunderstoodWierdo]

I like warhammer 40k and im not gelatinous.

[@ArinJager1]

I'm gelatinous and I don't like warhammer 40k

[@danialcourtney5969]

Im a well fit creature who loves war hammer 40k

[@romad6963]

We do have a game in which you play as Pestilence, it's called Plague Inc.

[@NeonSwaglordChen]

Of course

[@AEthianGavenkrantz]

@Querymonger but doesn't that sort of fit in with character designs, clothing and such? What they wear I mean?

[@mastermill79]

This game was awesome. Joe Mad did the artwork. Even 6 yrs later and a developer that went bust and an ip that is now owned by Nordic Games I still hope they finish the series. DS 1 > DS 2 btw.

[@TheMarinePlanet]

@CristianApostol How long did it take to look that up in the dictionary

[@Ebvardh]

Also, regarding character design, I shit you not: They did a contest on DeviantArt to have them design scenarios, weapons, enemies & bosses. They basically didn't think this at all, yet somehow managed to make it quite… cohesive?

[@HolydiveR270]

"FUCKING HELL! DID ANYBODY SE THAT?!" best line in youtube history

[@Dubickimus]

best review of all time

[@Helena-mh6ti]

I love Darksiders and laughed so freakin hard XD Hilarious video

[@Achanarr]

I laughed when he scoffed at Death being the rider you play. For obvious reasons.

[@dewbs815]

of course

[@AchPhoenix]

War is not meant to have emotions. he is meant to be the cold enforcer of the law and balance, he MUST NOT have feelings or other things that could cloud his judgement other than controlled anger which enhances his ability to deliver judgement.

[@tonycampbell1424]

*outstanding.*

[@Hopeofmen]

I learned to do that long ago...

[@20izaak]

Actually the Slenderman character Yahtzee has is in the game Poacher. You can find it on the interwebs.

[@QuiteFranklyNoOne]

The design actually looks kind of good. Kind of a combination of all types of war armours from history.

[@GameLoot]

LOVE Darksiders! Also love how cynical Yahtzee is, can't get enough of his "reviews". Certainly entertaining. Personally i think War looks badass. My favorite character of all time and Darksiders is my favorite franchise as well.

[@V-Jes]

well u don't seem to have good game library then

[@GameLoot]

mywlan2 Huh? I have over 700 GBs of digital games alone on my PS3. Not to mention the physical games I have had and sold over the years. And then there is my PS4 and PSVita. Not to mention my PC and all the games I have on this. I am guessing you were being a smart ass by implying that Darksiders is such a bad game that i must have not played anything else. You would however be wrong to the point of humiliation.

[@TacoDachshund]

chev327fox 2/10

[@Kataclysm113]

chev327fox people are being assholes on the internet again. just ignore them. i bet neither of them have even played the game anyway.

[@TacoDachshund]

Beat the first one. Not a horrible game but very bland story and a world record for least interesting main character. Gameplay was okay but repetitive. Doesn't deserve to be in any top ten for any reason.

[@mileshunt1518]

Darksider's is a great game, and I actually like the combat, art style and puzzles, flows beautifully and has aged well given that it's 4 years old, but can't resist a bit of yahtzee :P

[@TheBoredomOtaku]

0:44 he breathed... he breathed!

[@TheNorseCrow]

I want the Golden Lava Lamp at parties. A bit of warp can liven that shit up immensly.

[@formorian5]

I didn't want to believe the part about the portal gun, but it's true. I weep with anger and shame.

[@thebestpiever]

By other interpretation Conquest is substituted by Famine. But other than that, cool, I really didn't know that.

[@981407036x]

that "guy who voiced the joker" is mark hamill, better known as luke skywalker, personally i felt like it didnt fit... i loved the game too, but there were some parts which did feel like rip-offs, like the portal gun, and how the boss fights became EASIER as the game progressed instead of HARDER and the fact that they dont have a life bar so it's hard to tell if you're even doing dmg to it... you can pretty much just activate stone form and spam the square button BUT it's a guilty pleasure..

[@s0u7th13f]

Actually some legends replace conquest with pestilence only because conquest is very similar to war and thus would cause confusion so pestilence makes more sense. in a way.

[@CornishCreamtea07]

1:16 and Terry Gilliam was uncredited for writing the script it seems.

[@sunnysideup137]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I'VE BEEN WATCHING ZERO PUNCTUATION FOR THREE HOURS ON END. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I CANT STOP.

[@superdark336]

That imp was willing to die so his friend could get into a nudist colony. TRUE FRIENDSHIP YO.

[@TeaUnicorn]

For the longest time I thought he was serious about the portal gun XD

[@herofromthedark]

I believe that the destroyer is considered to be "The Devil" as most modern Christians associate him to be. I've studied religions and mythologies for a long time, and I've noticed that no one seems to know who "The Devil" actually is. The term "Satan" is used to refer to him, but it actually is meant to reference a king of Babylon who incurred the wrath of God, and so, was struck down. The name "Lucifer" means "bringer of Light," but is more of a moniker than a name.

[@devroq]

Anyone notice how his description of War's "character" is also Kratos?

[@KelseyWolf]

Thank you for calling them out on their attack system and how much its similar to other games lol

[@Asliferollson]

Pumped for Darksiders 3!!