Dating As A FAT Girl: Men Only Use Me For Sex!

[@sunbabbyyy1776]

Everyone in the comments telling her to lose weight? They’re so many smaller girls who are also getting treated like trash and used for sex by men. Clearly her weight isn’t the issue because men treat both big and small girls like SHIT and that’s the truth. She can lose weight and still get treated like trash.

[@talkswithhelena]

THANK YOU!!!!!! Some people don’t know how to comprehend

[@LuckyJudaz]

Then which means the problem is not her weight it maybe spiritual, emotional, mental attraction

[@talkswithhelena]

@LuckyJudaz we just said that…

[@Democratshell]

You have no data to support this. You really wanna think it’s better for this woman to be fat and not in shape is funny😂😂😂😂😂 she’s not ugly but weight matters some way height matters. It’s reality

[@RoyalCherryPeach]

Yeah but she would have better options. True all me want sex however she will be treated better overall by society, treatment, jobs etc. and she’s very pretty but men are attracted to bodies first then face and personality will keep him.

[@adjsny]

I hate to say it sis but when you look better you attract better & losing weight isn’t done for male validation, it’s done for ourselves to feel more confident, increase self esteem, get over personal insecurities and just to be the best version of yourself. Also discernment is important to have in this dating scene nowadays

[@talkswithhelena]

I agree to a certain extent but I’ve pressured myself to lose weight just so I can attract better without losing weight for myself, for my health, mental health , confidence and whatever comes along with it not just so I can be appreciated by society. There are many women who are plus size who have been able to find men who do value and appreciate them. So this was something I had to learn!

[@khadyndiaye5999]

​@@talkswithhelena SAME! Anytime I feel like losing weight for men I look at my plus size sisters that found love with quality men, and always remind myself that weight dosent close the door for marriage and love. I exercise 5 times a week, do intermittent fasting every monday and thursday and enjoy my favorite Foods at the weekends. All this I have learned to do for myself bc I saw how it positively affect my mental health, motivation and confidence. Try it, taking care and investing in yourself builds confidence and self love regardless of size. So now im obsessed with myself even tho im plus size, 1 hour ago I was thinking "I wish in my religion I could marry myself"😂 Im muslim btw

[@talkswithhelena]

@khadyndiaye5999 girlll I’m so glad you can relate! And yes that’s the journey I’m currently on just to better myself

[@nadzk2003]

Sadly, as a woman, our beauty is currency in today's society.

[@talkswithhelena]

😓

[@corpr8dystopia778]

Sadly, as a man, my height and ability to provision is currency in today’s society. So, what’s your point? Life isn’t fair, maybe you can add this to the endless list of issues for feminists to tackle 😂.

[@rene3759]

@@corpr8dystopia778 no its not even back in the day the most broke men and short men till this day can get married and have kids. mens looks have always been irrelevant a mans currency only limits how many women and what kind of women they can access but doesnt prevent it from them all together. Men are not a currency never where they are placed as the playery/ buyers. The only time men become property is to OTHER MEN in terms of slavery or being used as labour and cannon fodder in undesirable working conditions and places for more powerful MEN to use. Never has there been a point in time where women bought male sex workers to pay other women for favours or deals or create business connections. Its not the same. Yeah if you are a complacent person just say that. But as humans we use our brain and senses to create fairness and better living conditions and a better world. With your lacking mentality we would still be living in the ice age.

[@nadzk2003]

@@corpr8dystopia778 it’s always been like that. A man is supposed to be the leader and keeper of his wife and household. Which father would marry off their daughter to a man who cannot provide her with the basics to live off? It’s impossible. I never actually said it’s a bad thing, I agree that it is just the way society today works.

[@taylorthenatural5509]

​@@corpr8dystopia778 Households today typically require the woman to work as well.

[@StanDaMan4487]

The weight isn't the problem, picking bad boys is the root of the problem

[@talkswithhelena]

I agree

[@ibrookajamupalmer]

​@@talkswithhelena you not fat though, you just like most girls.

[@gumgum8802]

​@@ibrookajamupalmer oml the shade 😭✋️, your implying as if its the norm that 90% of girls are overweight these days

[@talkswithhelena]

Don’t talk what you don’t know

[@Oceaniac]

Girl! Your mentality was in the gutter when you removed that nice shy boy! But I can’t help but listen to your stories. It’s like hearing a friend gossip and vent to me, so kudos to you for sharing (and making me laugh several times)! I hope in the future, you’re able to take what you’ve learned and find someone good for you. I always think that if you lose weight for male approval, you’ll still be dealing with the same men. Whoever treats you right the way you are is the one of you. P.s. your singing is objectively beautiful.

[@talkswithhelena]

Awwwe thank you ❤️❤️

[@noneya1238]

I've been overweight before for a short time, and I couldn't even date at that point because I don't want to be with someone who would like me at an unhealthy weight anyways, and I notice only low quailty dudes approach me at that weight anyways. I say lose weight for your health and mental, and then you'll attract good quailty dudes. And it's not just the weight. Those men can smell the low self-esteem and desperation, and most big girls exude that, which is why they take advantage of you. My cousin is big, and she can only get dudes to sleep with her. They won't take her out and don't want to be seen with her in public. It's sad. And you have to take responsibility too, you can't neglect yourself and your health and expect someone to love you more than you love yourself.

[@talkswithhelena]

I agree with the low self esteem a lot of men are able to see that which is something I learnt. I think everyone’s different when it comes to experiencing this especially as a big girl. My point was I have to work on my self esteem and do the inner work whilst losing the weight because if I lose weight in hopes of finding good quality men what if it’s still the same? What if I lose the weight I’m overly confident but as soon as the weight comes back I’ve gone back to my old ways (which is something I have experienced )so it’s clear that would have to be some inner work I would need to do

[@sarah-janepryce821]

This is so true girl as when I was bigger I experienced this and it shouldn’t get to that point but think it’s the reality especially when you’ve lived it. Now I’m nearly 40 pounds down guys don’t go about me like that as much as I used too. Losing weight has definitely helped with my self esteem and health.☺️❤️

[@theeellythethird7729]

Guys do it to me all the time, even when i was just hitting 16-17, I'm 18 now, and all they do is wanna turn a chubby girl like me into a baby mama or a hook up instead of a girlfriend, im pretty enough to hook up but im not pretty enough to take serious

[@talkswithhelena]

This is too real😭

[@TheCalvinnnnn]

You need to lose weight. Take accountability. It’s clearly not working for you so you need to try something different. Or don’t lose the weight and continue how you are. But if you lose the weight at the very least you’ll feel better and be healthier.

[@sunbabbyyy1776]

Lose weight for what? For men? Women have to go through hoops for a genuine connection? If anything she should lose weight to be healthy THAT’S IT! Not to find a man.

[@whitneya6084]

Helen you’re so funny 😂😂😂😂😂 I was crying of laughter when you said rat on the highway 😭

[@talkswithhelena]

😂😂😂❤️

[@ameliapatterson-x4u42]

As a skinny girl I’ve experienced the same thing

[@millerstation92]

A lot of women talk like you and then want to go back to their wild days when they get into a serious relationship, especially if they are still young. People want what they don't have.

[@talkswithhelena]

Well I pray that I don’t go back to my “wild days”.

[@LOVELYLONDONGURL]

Do you experience similar back home? As I’m in Africa or Caribbean when you’ve visited for holidays? As a DSBW every time I return to Ghana my self esteem is increased a likkle more because I’m reminded of the value of my beauty. And the compliments don’t come on a sexual tip.

[@talkswithhelena]

No I don’t experience this back home

[@LOVELYLONDONGURL]

@@talkswithhelena right, this UK environment can be soo damaging to black women’s self esteem but when you step out and travel you realise the problem isn’t you, it’s where you are.

[@talkswithhelena]

@@LOVELYLONDONGURLgirl tell me about it

[@SpanishPrincess89]

I'm Hispanic I noticed that a lot of American men will fetishize Latinas some people hate us and want us out their country but also wanna say oh get u a Latina 😂 my mother white and my father is El Salvadorian and It does get annoying do u like me for me or the fact I'm Hispanic. I'm 156 pounds American men typically want bigger women so when I tell them I'm trying to lose weight to get to 140 pounds they are like no don't u look perfect like me being 140 is horrible. 😅 I got rid of all my dating apps I'm good on dating.

[@jzmnmrh0009]

Don't listen to these American men. This country is conditioned to think that being overweight is medically normal or even considered healthy. They don't care about your longterm health since whatever medical issues you happen to face, due to your weight, will be yours alone to deal with entirely. Keep working on your fitness and do what you know is right for your mind and body.

[@ameliapatterson-x4u42]

This is so true I do notice latinas being fetishized the most and guys think 140 is skinny but it’s closer to overweight

[@ameliapatterson-x4u42]

I feel like Latina carry the weight better being curvier in general tbough

[@SpanishPrincess89]

@@ameliapatterson-x4u42 I'm 5'3 so I'm supposed to be 135 or 140 also no 😂 I do not be carrying this weight well I feel 😂 I get told my body is proportionate and they do say I carry it well but I don't think so. All dudes talk about is that they want a woman with a big booty and are cubby that they don't want no stick. I was miserable that weight so I changed for myself and to get told by any guy I talk to that I was better before and I should gain it back sucks I worked so hard like so freaking hard to lose that weight.

[@ksenijas1783]

Love how you invited all the problems that came your way lmao😅 people need to live and learn

[@LaliladaAnamina]

If a guy is short and broke, he isn’t valued as highly, this is the harsh reality of dating. Ofcourse there is someone out there for everyone. But in general this is an unspoken truth

[@talkswithhelena]

Yes, this is something we know already

[@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke]

What about the thousands of short men who are financially insecure who get married?

[@LaliladaAnamina]

@@KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke good for them, I said in general. Attractive girls tend to go for attractive, tall or successful guys in general, guys USUALLY try to date the most attractive girl they can get, it’s only natural. This is a total generalisation, not a rule. It’s a harsh reality so when someone over weight/short/ is asking why their hotter friend gets picked, what do you say? Of course confidence can get you anything, so there is also that😂

[@justaturky2890]

that is not exactly a good thing...

[@LaliladaAnamina]

@@justaturky2890I agree.. but it’s the terrifying reality of human psychology, generally speaking. We either accept it and work on ourselves so we can become better or we can sulk and stay miserable and lonley

[@nots000ful]

Girl- srsly u r pretty and hilariously funny and u struggling … I don’t know what is wrong. Nowadays dating is just a traumatic experience

[@cherypi2641]

Girl, I have all of the love in the world for you but I think that this is more of a self-esteem issue. You mentioned how there were great guys out there who did treat you well, but you'd rather go to those guys who gave you dust. My best friend literally looks like a thin model and does that too. I think that once you build up that self-confidence where you do see yourself valuable of someone's love, time, money, and effort, you will find someone better than you can ever imagine. And I feel like there is someone right now who would love you at whatever weight you are and would support you wherever you are in your weight journey, but would you like them? My beliefs is that you should lose weight for you, but if you are doing it for a man, think about what kind of girl a guy you would want to be with want, and does that include changing your weight?

[@talkswithhelena]

Girl I did say in the video I want to work on myself and how I’ve learnt the hard way in order to start on my self work this life is not easy😭

[@cherypi2641]

@@talkswithhelena I know, and it will get better over time as long as you don’t relapse. But I don’t think weight was ever an issue, it was mainly self-esteem.

[@talkswithhelena]

From my own personal experience which I’ve clearly spoken on, weight was apart of the issue which caused my self esteem to go down. Hope that makes sense

[@mrbrave29]

Just think how short guys feel?

[@DANTESDEMISE]

Lose weight if you want get healthy not for male validation speaking as guy dating a girl whose plus size (then again I’m South African the beauty standards here are different)

[@DANTESDEMISE]

Also stop treating good guys like trash😭 I’m one of them

[@kingofsimps7770]

@@DANTESDEMISE actual good guys don't call themselves good guys

[@DANTESDEMISE]

@@kingofsimps7770 ouch😭

[@talkswithhelena]

And that I agree with

[@karateebeats]

Well at least you know & you can move accordingly

[@jcransome5616]

Lose weight or lose standards get used to it

[@justaturky2890]

Completely missed the point

[@jcransome5616]

@@justaturky2890 how??

[@sunbabbyyy1776]

@@jcransome5616 because you guys are only saying “lose weight” so she can attract male validation when in fact people should be losing weight for the sole purpose of being fit and healthy. Plus losing standards also isn’t it because why should the bar be in hell for women to find genuine attraction?

[@jcransome5616]

@@sunbabbyyy1776 so you want a fat guy??

[@talkswithhelena]

Just stop talking😂😂😂

[@mmxcii9169]

7:30 is usually how it goes 😂😂

[@megabyte64]

The arrogance looool Listen up - number 4 rating, you "encountered people who showed a genuine interest", but decided to self- sabotage. Stay in your league and you'll find a relationship. Hope this helps. 🙏🏿

[@talkswithhelena]

Help that I didn’t ask for…

[@megabyte64]

@@talkswithhelena oh ok, let the sexualization continue! 🙌🏿

[@kktriecetelevision940]

Relocate babes ❤❤❤❤ Come to the US!

[@ezrabasil2521]

Sorry

[@trafficcontrol2420]

You are hilarious.

[@notyourtypicalfarah7194]

Are you going for 6'2 jacked dudes? 😂😂

[@Betttty]

I enjoyed this video very insightful But if you must know if men could have babies with themselves they would I believe so

[@Betttty]

Subscribed ❤ and don't listen to the haters it's easy to judge when you're watching from the side

[@glenroyscott2350]

Loose it for your health don't make excuses find a gym and eat right food

[@talkswithhelena]

Completely missed the point here buddy x

[@ibrookajamupalmer]

You actually look really nice, you have the right weight and everything.

[@FHIPrincePeter]

Hilarious and delusional.