Dating over 50: 5 Reasons Men Ignore Your Messages - Here's What to do Instead!

[@strangelyrawprana]

At our age… if all you’re saying is “hi” or, worse, hitting “like” and saying nothing, you have no maturity nor confidence.

[@DougHardy541]

Wait … “Hey, what’s your sign?” is no longer a good starter line? Now I know why I’m not getting any replies.😆

[@2ndActTV]

Yes, I agree! It can be intimidating but we need to put forth something a lot more engaging to stand out on dating apps. Thanks for watching!

[@2ndActTV]

@StumptownMod541 Too funny 🤣

[@2ndActTV]

@@bryank.vaughan4316 "We" as in "everybody" - men and women if you are on dating apps

[@Cee_Eff]

I'm dealing with "Hi" and one word/3 word sentences or immediate "Sh@t testing" when trying to engage in a conversation.

[@2ndActTV]

Yes! The “hi” or worst in my opinion “hey” are so counterproductive! Thanks for your comment!

[@Lastfirstdate]

It's frustrating, but if you ignore the one word messages and low effort, you'll spend less energy dealing with those people and have more energy for the right ones.

[@alexanderlapp5048]

A one word message is OK at the beginning of a conversation in my opinion. It let's both parties know the conversation has started. Dialog can then begin. Maybe a message that is more of a letter explaining why you are messaging is good at first introduction when the other person doesn't know who you are.

[@kathryncothern3433]

Since I value “talk the talk AND walk the walk”, I hold true to valuing one of my mantras…quality over quantity. Men need to write me a quality message and have a quality profile, in order to grab my attention. I get a ton of Likes and Messages. However, most profiles are poorly done or bare minimum, and 99.9% of the messages sent to me are one or two words or not quality substance. When a man is intentional and serious, he will put forth the effort. I am selective where I apply my time and energy, so he needs to demonstrate the same as well. There are legitimate women out there to go after. 😊❤

[@ScarletPattieLayla]

Hey there 😊

[@eddy2561]

In the beginning texting/messaging is necessary. But as the relationship progresses not seeing their body language, it's so so so very easy to misinterpret a message/text whether sending or receiving!! I only use texting to say something simple like I've running late or I'm here. When texting there's just no way to see what someone's body language is saying or the mood they are in, which could be totally different from the text meaning! IMO get off texting as soon as possible.

[@2ndActTV]

Can't agree more!! Thanks Eddy!

[@Lastfirstdate]

Yes!! Texting is the WORST way to get to know someone. It's great for logistics, like you said. I also recommend getting off text and meeting in person asap.

[@alexanderlapp5048]

@Lastfirstdate , Texting is great for a piece of information, such as an address. Mood and emotions can be easily misunderstood.

[@ivanvarykino8202]

I always enjoy your program, but I will push back on one thing. Most guys I know do not want a type A, competitive, overachieving woman in their life. They want someone to complement them. Not to compete with them. Fit, feminine and friendly is what I and many of the men I know either already have or hope to find in a partner. And yes of course, we men must also bring equal qualities from our side 😉

[@andrewbird57]

I don't agree with this. The woman I'm dating is extremely successful and is worth 10x my net worth financially. I love her for the success she's had competing with men in a field that is typically dominated by men.

[@Lastfirstdate]

You're entitled to want what you want in a woman. I'm curious how you got this message from our video today.

[@2ndActTV]

Hi Ivan. Like Sandy mentioned in her reply, would be curious to know what we said that gave you that impression. I tend to agree with you, most guys don't want a competitor (a few like that energy), they want someone to complement their lifestyle. I think that goes for women as well. IMO an important part for a lasting relationship. Thanks for watching!

[@ivanvarykino8202]

@@2ndActTV Hi Silke, Sandy just mentioned to state accomplishments or things that set one apart from the rest. While I definitely agree with that. I've read profiles that state direct challenges to keep up with the potential match at a variety of a activities, as if we are about to enter a competition. So, this may be more a trigger from my own experience 😄

[@sandrasgotvoice]

This channel is so, so good. Thank you Silke!

[@stephenkilpatrick807]

Sandy, thanks for the comment about subscribers not getting responses. I’ll look for that status.

[@Lastfirstdate]

you're welcome!

[@mypov4343]

We all want better. So the online responses you get are people who consider you potentially better. And of course you are doing the same thing buy soliciting people you think are better. Honest assessment of the interactions will give you an idea of what you might do to be somebody's better as well as changing your mindset about what is better LOL sounds confusing I know. Bottom line it's a tool to learn more about yourself and in the end that will attract better for you who you really are. For me it's actually helped me with people I met organically because it refined what resonates.

[@2ndActTV]

Interesting point! "Responses you get are people who consider you potentially better". AND, online activity helps assess people you meet organically! Thanks for sharing!

[@mypov4343]

@@2ndActTV yes the People You Meet online may not be for you but it directs you in a way to help you offline and online in the future

[@shantemoore6265]

​@mypov4343 I like this viewpoint!

[@Lastfirstdate]

I agree with what you said about helping you refine what you're looking for so you can meet more people in the real world!

[@ssiegreen5292]

Definitely feeling "overwhelmed" with the volume and bored by the "same old, same old" style initial messages. You'd think the pick-up lines have changed + updated with the times - but clearly not so much. I still hear a lot of the same stuff, that men used to say back in my 20ies + 30ies. The delivery is much smoother and more practiced though, 😁🙃😉 Another turn off is the "fluff" aspect of the messages once you get a conversation going; I always wonder how much of this is AI generated. It's virtually impossible to have a good conversation that generates enough interest to actually want to meet someone in person. I still prefer local face2face dating - at least I get an idea right from the beginning what this person is all about and what they actually look like and as a bonus - they are local or at least within reasonable driving distance [I live in a rural area, so slim local pickings online]...

[@reflectiveFrankC]

@ssie, I think your doing things right. I expect the right guy is probably just around the corner. Why do I say this? Your right one gets tired of the same old, same old. You actually went past that and engaged me in comments in another of there presentations. So you have managed to be on my radar. When I read comments here I actually look for your name. Your photo is no magazine model but your smile is engaging. Your eyes sparkle suggesting you enjoy life. In our exchange you asked questions and kept me responding to you. That is a big thing because generally my comments here are kind of data focussed. In real life people tell me I come across robotic. That is my being autistic. I am a bit like Raj from Big Bang Theory, Not very good at talking with women. I am a bit better than that in that when asked questions I respond but I freeze up trying to engage back. The only reason I am engaging now is Beause I have been thinking about the last exchange. I found you.attractive. I wouldn't mind getting to know you better through Facebook perhaps? That seems a safe place. I tend to avoid private messaging though. Some bad experiences give me some trust issues. Before you decide to say yes I will say I have some rigid issues I haven't found answers to. I kinect with women living far away, realize it isn't enough and really want something closer to home. I am in Western Australia in the Rockingham area so it is probably safer to keep looking than put too much energy into me. I could easily just keep the attraction fantasy going by staying a bit mysterious but my principles and motivation aren't that strong. I engaged more to point out what I saw as positive in you. My second fixed issue is I am Catholic who left and returned to that faith and so divorced women and premarital sex can be problematic. Finally on a positive note you came across as sensitive yet open. That could be my fantasy about you.

[@ssiegreen5292]

@@reflectiveFrankC Hi Frank - thank you for the lovely compliment - I appreciate that. That's what I look like when I roll out of bed in the morning [before the war paint gets added], enjoying my morning coffee and getting some early morning sun in through the window. And yes - this photo was taken on a friend's 'fresh out of bed dare" - and I quite frankly [no name pun intended] have no problem showing myself as I am when I'm content and happy. Nor my creative mess in the background on my storage shelves - you should see my actual work tables! I always work on multiple projects spread all over the work room, LOL. If you're a bit anal and/or OCD [like my kiddo and one of my best female friends] - that's a horror show all by itself. I'll be happy to talk to you - here or privately if you want to have real conversations, either is fine. I realize my conversations often step outside of this channel's concept, so that's probably more practical without hogging too much bandwidth or going too private for ppl to see.

[@reflectiveFrankC]

@ssie, I tend to like the natural look over make-up. There is a true story delayed getting her husband to hospital in order to put on her make-up. He died.

[@ssiegreen5292]

@@reflectiveFrankC Funny and yet not! Check the other again.

[@reflectiveFrankC]

I got lost with your last comment but I am tired so off to bed. Before going I will say My projects are spread out too. I believe a product of an active mind. These early stages of getting to know someone really causes sparks. Happy to go one day at a time. Goodnight at 5:30 in morning here.

[@srmrlr]

When I dropped into the online dating world, it was an eye opener. I was careful with my photos, kept them current and topical. My now girlfriend was intrigued by one photo, and messaged me about it, and 6 weeks later, we met. 6 weeks later we became exclusive. Now, 20 months in, we are a couple, we'll on our way to an amazing future. I hated seeing photos that were obviously filtered, or a face in a crowd. Or obviously old photos, 10, 20, 30+ years old. Amd some photos looked like they weren't even trying...

[@Lastfirstdate]

Yes!! This is exactly what I'm talking about in the video. I'm so glad you met someone special online.

[@2ndActTV]

Exactly! And thanks for sharing. Always good to hear from people who met online!

[@jimcrowley1709]

Good show. I'm not the best at mareting myself in general. I have a large skill sets to offer an employer; I need to translate that somehow in who I am as a person to others -that's going to be very challenging for me and require some deep thought. Is there any aids out the can better prod this process?

[@ScarletPattieLayla]

Hey there 😊

[@abart2056]

I have to ask this Silke and Sandy. Why respond if you're not interested? I was told by a male friend who used online dating for a while and he said explicitly "do NOT" message a guy back if you are just being nice but not interested because it gives them "false hope". So I don't answer messages to them. It's happened to me as well and I'm okay with it. They can tell if I've gone to check out their photos after the fact but I don't know what to say to just respond. I'm becoming a little disenchanted by this process and I'm wanting to give up and leave it to chance meetings and brief encounters and I've not even done this for very long. I keep hiding my profile to take a break and stop thinking about it. Maybe I'm not as ready as I thought?

[@2ndActTV]

You're right! It's not a good idea to message a guy back if you are not interested. I think I said that I did that "to be polite", which I then learned wasn't a good idea. Sorry for any confusion. Don't give up!! Taking a break is good when you are feeling disenchanted. You're not the only one who feels like that, so totally normal!! Chance meetings and brief encounters will always be there! Think of online dating simply as a tool that ups your chances of meeting people you otherwise would not have. You know enough now to spot obvious red flags or scammers. Don't waste any time or frustration on these contacts. When you're not feeling it, go offline - that's a good thing - and then come back when you feel better and are ready to have a good time!! Lots of men out there looking for the same things you are, and often feeling the same way you are right now. Bottom line, there are good people out there!!

[@ssiegreen5292]

I struggle with this myself - due to my upbringing to be unwaveringly polite, until the other person shows that they don't deserve preferential treatment. I would not reply to one-liners or "hi"s if there's absolutely no interest; but I find it more difficult to do that when I can tell that the other person has put some effort behind it. That - in my opinion - deserves to be acknowledgement + appreciation - even if it's pretty clear that this is not going somewhere. The only time when being polite, pleasant and kind has backfired for me, is when the other person has some serious issues - anger management, general contempt or hate for women, bi-polar, narcissism, etc

[@DougHardy541]

One doesn’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea, so why be boring catering to the masses. You’re just looking to excite at least one person.

[@ScarletPattieLayla]

Hey there 😊

[@ScarletPattieLayla]

Howdy 👋

[@alexanderlapp5048]

I wouldn't message someone back if I think they are a pest. If someone messages me too often, interrogates me with questions or just generally wastes my time, I would not message them back. I dont want to encourage someone to bother me.

[@Lastfirstdate]

agreed. I usually block those people

[@2ndActTV]

Yes, absolutely agree! I made that mistakes in the beginning "so I wouldn't be rude" ...

[@dewholdingsllc1050]

Have you ever reviewed or graded which over 50 online sites are best?

[@bobketterer9119]

The 90% of women swipe on 10% of the men stat comes from the dating sites. It’s the 6,6,6 rule that some of the women are going for.

[@azmike3572]

It seems the stated reasons in the clip do apply to both genders.

[@Lastfirstdate]

Silke and I both said that this applies to both genders :)

[@azmike3572]

@@Lastfirstdate Good. Thanks.

[@strangelyrawprana]

Oh the cut and paste. It is so obvious.

[@joncrane88]

Sandy hot So kind

[@brianjohnson6053]

Drizzle drizzle

[@blairpitters]

@blairpitters 0 seconds ago Funny how this discussion is about why men ignore first messages. Yet so many women in the comments have weighed in, and made this about them. If these women are wondering why they're still single, perhaps thats a good place to start.🙄

[@gentlehorst]

Yes, you have an SUV, a dog you can kiss, can take a selfie isolated in your bland house or apartment and are able to write 'Hello' ... or ... you have a friend who took a photo which shows you relaxed and happy, you can be passionate about something and have an opinion. (If I read as a first sentence: Do not send anything until you read my profile, I can give her respect, smile and can test our tolerance to agree to disagree, but I might be in the minority because even a picture with cleavage, no writing and 'Hey' may be enough for some )

[@2ndActTV]

Yes, sometimes the "cleavage" pictures work in terms of generating a response. But it's also "pretty obvious" what cleavage pictures tend to attract. (I feel the same about "shirtless" pictures for men). If that's what someone wants, go for it. Just don't expect much more! Thanks for your comment!

[@gentlehorst]

@@2ndActTV Thanks for your response. Just a footnote: As a happy pickleball player in my town, I am amazed by the huge possibilities for all to connect in a relaxed atmosphere which could help plenty of your listeners to brake the ice. You mentioned once in another clip your plan to release a session just in this setting. I think, it would be worth it but have not noticed it by scrolling down your clips. Let me know, please if I missed it. 🏓☺

[@gentlehorst]

@@2ndActTV One BBC-documentary comes to mind which nicely sums up our human behaviour and relationships. Very educational and I have to recommend to you a session just about the themes they produced in it. It has a perhaps misleading title of these 3 1-hour episodes but when understood it makes sense. Brainsex. I am hesitant to put the youtube clip here onto this message but if you approve, lets just write how to find the first kzbin.info/www/bejne/d4jCeph7od-DerM