Dave Just Hates EVERYTHING

[@kurtacus3581]

Id really love to see this guy watch Bob Ross... "Oh please, how can those trees possible be happy? I mean, it's a painting!! How could it have feelings?!"

[@drenandtarb]

'someone who uses sauce isn't a good chef' meanwhile his meals are Cans of sauce mixed with a can of soup and a can of creamed corn on top.

[@julietfischer5056]

Not too much sauce: it should partner with the meat.

[@vxicepickxv]

The oil rag cleans off metal bits from the hot grill.

[@Username26425]

I didn't know this, but it makes perfect sense.

[@MrHodoAstartes]

Also makes the meat stick less.

[@explodingcrack435]

Dave is easily the most insecure person I've ever seen. Literally everything challenges his masculinity

[@kingzut]

how dare you challenge Daves masculinity like this

[@n0etic_f0x]

I am gay... sadly some people find this to be a personality. This hyper-masculine garbage is sad... just the whole aura is just pure unfiltered sadness that turns the Rockies blue if you put it in the refrigerator.

[@jaymorgan8013]

But look at him. He's obviously an alpha male drowning in his own testosterone!

[@cplus14]

I'd love to see this guy do his own cooking show. "Today we're making Dorritos. I'm using Zesty, but you could use Cool Ranch IF YOU'RE AN IDIOT! Now, step one is to open the bag..."

[@KerlyFries]

He’s done it! Jake has videos watching them on this channel. His cooking is as horrific as you’d imagine.

[@TheBasedGreeg]

I guess we shouldn’t use seasoning/sauce on anything. You can only appreciate one flavor at a time, enjoying the way different flavors interact with each other is heresy in Dave’s America.

[@epsilon-eleven]

I love that Dave thinks he's the best chef in the world, despite having apparently no tastebuds.

[@REfan001]

Ketchup only

[@ShawnWilliams314]

6:40: "Oak is a nice all-purpose, easy-to-find choice and will create the most traditional Argentinean flavor. Once the wood is stacked, run the ignition burners for 5 minutes to start the fire. For more tips on starting and maintaining your fire read our post about cooking Argentinean-Style Asado on the Gaucho Grill." - An excerpt from Kalamazoo Outdoor Gourmet. I don't know if it's accurate but there is some source for Steve's claim.

[@crystalhazer7246]

I enjoy how often you predict the unwarranted outrage from Dave. Keeps making me laugh

[@HalfBackCrack]

Id hate everything too if I had that hair.

[@JackgarPrime]

I'm dying for a live in person cook-off between Jake and Dave.

[@crystalhazer7246]

Dave would definitely through a tantrum at one pt. It would be priceless to watch, especially in contrast with Jake's chill demeanor.

[@n0etic_f0x]

Have Alton Brown as a host and I would literally cut off my arms to watch this. I have worked in food my whole life... Dave fucking sucks at cooking. Hell toss in Gordon Ramsay and the memes alone are worth, I want to watch Gordon Ramsy yell at Dave and tell Jake something is beautiful.

[@alliejasmine]

Dave can’t be in the same room with other men though. It hurts his masculinity

[@JackgarPrime]

@@alliejasmine I'm not sure if he's been in the same room as another human, period.

[@jackjohnson1128]

That would basically be watching a snuff film. Jake would brutalize Dave with how superior his cooking is.

[@SaintSwibbens]

My take on filet mignon...the texture is delightful, the taste is weak. There's nothing wrong with putting sauce on it. Just because it's expensive doesn't mean it doesn't need a little extra kick.

[@JovanDacic]

I do not eat with my mouth; he who eats with his mouth has forgotten the face of his father. I eat with my eye.

[@MsEditrix]

19

[@ColtSteele]

Ka

[@mrs.h4604]

Long nights and longer days.

[@ericbiggz7004]

Imagine how miserable it would be to have Dave at a party when you Grill. He'd get way to drunk 🥴 make a big seen & yell at you about everything the entire time. Hes so unhappy what a grump .

[@reform-revolution]

you just described my family reunions ......

[@saininj]

Dave is seriously the most miserable and pathetic person I've ever seen. I'd have more empathy for him, but then I remember his "rating women" and "black people make poor life choices" and I'm just like, nah.

[@BenjaminGlatt]

Reminder that Dave's idea of "fine dining" is a chicken breast covered in crushed Doritos.

[@sly2076]

I bet if the guy in the video made the food more goopy dave would like it

[@SimonD992]

as a venezuelan latino man who grew up with a venezuelan chef and restaurant owner for a mother... this is incredibly cathartic for me hehe. *taps fingers manically* learn more about the delicious world of food we have down south my cute little gringo JEJEJEJEJEJE

[@blitzwinters5687]

I'm no cook, but I feel like while sauce _can_ be used to cover a bad or burnt cut, that's not the only reason to use it on meat. A great chef would use the meat and the sauce to compliment each other.

[@the_syncopated_traveler1453]

The minute he insulted my city's rare steaks was a bridge too far! He probably prefers Hunts to Heinz too. Jaghoff.

[@deadpoolpanda4513]

Dave the sad angry clock guy that can't cook

[@dammagrilla]

Peter Luger is a high end steakhouse in NYC and they sell their own steak sauce so......

[@merbst]

mmm I do like steak sauce.... but actually BBQ sauce is better

[@seansteele6532]

Dude grilling's like "This imparts a light smoke flavor" not "I have no idea why, this is a total mystery, I'm fucking stumped by this one but for some reason this imparts a lighter smoke flavor."

[@Talenel]

"Any chef that uses a sauce is kinda weak." Didn't Dave make a bunch of goop with multiple cans of some cheese sauce? It was some spaghetti, a bit of ham, and two jars of goopy cheese sauce, it was mostly sauce.

[@dscorner232]

Yeah the ham and cheese spaghetti. Dude I'm convinced that dave is just jealous as all fuck

[@Santiago_Dunbar]

So for anyone that's wondering Dave was wrong (shock, I know) about Pittsburgh rare steaks. It's a 100% legit way to cook steaks.

[@damvm3211]

“Any chef that uses a bunch of sauce is kinda weak” Nah Dave, YOU’RE the weak one, sauce is the boss💪😤

[@JackgarPrime]

Its funny that he says that with how he just fucking pours gloop on everything, too.

[@n0etic_f0x]

You are supposed to sauce a filet mignon, it has no fat.

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

Tbf sauce makes things taste worse 90% of the time

[@damvm3211]

@@MetalxLicaxPP need better sauce then hombre

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

@@damvm3211 every sauce I try is trash :(

[@polkadotmicrochip]

"That's why I only grill with fruit woods." I dunno, Dave. Sounds gay.

[@Shadowman4710]

Steven Raichlen is a grilling God. That is all....

[@Madar_Chod069]

Do you think Dave's problem is less about the cooking and more about this being the known "liberal" PBS?

[@laurenmartinez55]

Oh god no, don't make your dish BETTER!!!! What are you doing making it MORE delicious?!?!? Only REAL men eat their steak rock hard with no seasoning like a caveman

[@tuntemon]

He like goop so sauce wouldn't work for him. Chimichurry is so freaking good! I really want to try it with avocado!

[@rosem6604]

Do oak trees live in Argentina? lol I'm a simple girl. Pragmatic. I'm not an aficionado in any area of life, I admit. I like BBQ'ed food or just food but will not go to any lengths to do anything fancy or use fancy tools for it. I cook very well, just not fancy. Gotta say, I'm not loving Raichlen. He's too much of a fancy busy body. So I get the general annoyance Dave has but I still think he's a sad little man who can't cook and enjoy making fun of him from time to time :-D

[@Sophia-vk5bq]

I’m definitely late to this but I googled the wood used for Argentinian cooking and this is what I found : “Quebracho, Mesquite, Eucalyptus, Piquillin, and Algarrobo.”

[@alliejasmine]

I had an avocado and tater tots for dinner and I guarantee that was better then 90% of the gulp Dave makes. He’d probably be really pissed that I air fried the tots because I have no way to deep fry them

[@heribertosarmiento1265]

Wasasaca is popular in the Dominican Republic. Also chimichuri is used for street burgers in the Dominican Republic

[@n0etic_f0x]

By the way, a filet mignon is generally supposed to have a sauce. Sure you can eat it without one but many chefs will ask why. It has no fat, make a butter sauce or something. If you want to let the meat shine through use a New York strip. Something with high marbling. Dave knows nothing about cooking

[@OKurtti]

Does he actually think sauces are just meant to be used to mask the low quality of the main ingredients?

[@Sh3nan1gans]

Actual Jake, I found a community that is as wholesome as yours and Hannah's. It is RM Brown's community on discord. I think you or Hannah should consider calling into the RM Brown live show. I think it would be awesome.

[@Sh3nan1gans]

@@cara_kaminski

[@ELM-ee8bt]

Dave is surprisingly not wrong about the bristles. It was on an episode of "Monster Inside Me". A guy swallowed a bristle from one of them and nearly ended up Losing a part of his intestine.

[@atlasrand699]

I love this chud cooking critiques react!

[@jaymorgan8013]

He's so childish. Everything sucks! Everyone's dumb!

[@soulman1988]

You should see his cooking review with fish. It smells, but not cause of fish.

[@TheBlackdracula]

He's not wrong about the gasoline though - that is a horrible idea for barbecue

[@matthewgagnon9426]

Filet Mignon is expensive because it's the most tender cut, not because it's the most flavorful. Come on, Dave. You claim to be a meat guy, you should know this.

[@CaptainPrincess]

what IS the most flavourful cut? asking for a friend the friend is me

[@BOOcketMan]

Dave what do you think all your goop dishes are? 90% SAUCE

[@TakarasAsylum]

20:00 Does he not use STEAK SAUCE????

[@TheZombieMarshmallow]

"He breathes like a manatee" ...is he related to a certain indivijul manatee situation?

[@Djanck000]

Actual gaucho here. That looks delicious.

[@SnakeMan448]

Dave can only defend himself by saying that what he does is a joke or satire or a persona. But it's no good saying that you're just pretending to be an obnoxious and toxic loser when you act like one 24/7 with no irony.

[@epicfacepanda]

Idk if this does anything but, I feel like bay leaf makes your fried food less greasy when adding a couple to the oil while it’s preheating/cooking.

[@adammcnamee8677]

How about a wanna be chef who uses a bunch of goop? Wouldn't they be weak too?

[@andrewphilos]

Chimichurri is a very light flavoring, right? So it's not like it's gonna overpower the mouthfeel of the filet.

[@SnakeMan448]

Dave likes to think that he exerts expertise on food when he threatens to slap people for putting sauce on steaks. It's just using violence to cover for insecurity over poor life choices.

[@Aelffwynn]

Is he wrong about the metal brush though? I have heard that before and it would make sense to use an alternative.

[@theirishviking]

Watching this and the new episode of Invincible made my day!!!

[@theirishviking]

@@jonahchickering4908 dude that subway scene!!!

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

Wait people actually watch that show

[@theirishviking]

@@MetalxLicaxPP are you serious? It’s very popular

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

@@theirishviking from what I've seen it's getting negative reviews

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

@@jonahchickering4908 Kirkman has crappy storytelling though. Good world building but terrible stories. If you make something shit but make it gory, it's still shit

[@unclebobboomergames]

Dave is every joke about white people not fully flavoring food

[@sierramobley8962]

what a sad life to believe that sauces are only for masking poorly cooked food and not for enhancing an already delicious dish.

[@dinosaysrawr]

Dave is probably such a peach to be around. I bet he has lots of friends, and those friends are definitely not insecure, dick-waving jerks. His charisma, unshakable self-confidence, and love of life are just positively infectious.

[@jonathankershner2508]

Now i have to learn some nice sauces for my steak!

[@merbst]

I used to climb bud lite mountain during every Actual Jake show, but now I am proud to have gone to CostCo to buy 15 cans of Dodger's World Championship 2020 Edition Blonde Ale to climb each night! 🤗🍺

[@rockcandyplanet]

Dave is just. Like. Sad to me. I cannot imagine being such a pathetic and hateful person who tries his hardest to be negative about anything he sees

[@CaptainPrincess]

I can I used to be its a fucking horrendous existence that ends in either finding other similar people to mald with or suicide

[@Frankthegb]

Dave knows more about cooking like an Argentinian than an actual Argentinian. Impressive!!

[@Ram-mu7kl]

I'm arg, never seen a gas grill in my life, let alone eat meat from one, veggies are awesome, all Argentinian grilling include at least salads to go with the meat, and chimichurri rocks. Screw this Dave guy.

[@marbled31]

How is Dave, the king of glop complaining about a sauce?

[@lunamoona4920]

No joke, that Argentinean grill is really neat! ☺

[@jantjepietjepol]

Ow this was so fun he tried to attack pretentious cooking with more pretention.

[@angelac5628]

That looks really good

[@EmmaMaris]

He probably has steak with the most deep fried greasy chips nothing esle

[@Noname72105]

Goddamn Dave. I don't like food either, but you know what? That means I just don't watch cooking shows or videos, I take care of myself, and let the people who do like food make their fancy food. That said I do think everyone would be happier on average if we just didn't need to eat.

[@NoOne-ty4gl]

He's right about wire brushes, though

[@orinjayce]

This guy is like "Reeeeeeeee" took human? form.

[@jackjohnson1128]

I'll admit, I didn't know what Chimichurri was until today, and it sounds like one of the most delicious things I've ever heard of. Dave is uncultured swine, just drunkenly dismissing with "SAUCE ON STEAK IS BAD, HURRRGH GURGLE." I'm gonna make some Chimichurri, and with every bite, I'll enjoy the spiteful knowledge of how Dave will never be a good chef.

[@jebbush6657]

Dude you're right Jake, this dudes issues are just so fascinatingly bizarre. The man is shouting about how he uses fruit woods, nearly popping a blood vessel, even though he just established 5 seconds earlier he presumably understands that what is being done...isn't smoking. It's grilling. So who the fuck cares how you smoke things dave. Christ. Also I like how this guy considers himself an expert in man food yet has apparently never heard of a tbone with portabello sauce, which is basically legally required to be on every single steakhouse menu in america.

[@CaptainPrincess]

dave doesnt smoke things anyway he talks a lot of shit but weve seen his actual cooking he cooks worse than a burned out college idiot theres no way he actually smokes anything

[@VerdeDrums]

Same

[@hobosorcerer]

I think I get what he's disagreeing about around 14:50 -- it's not necessarily the type of wood being used in the video that's giving it the smoky flavor, but rather how it's being used. He might be trying to say that better woods could be used while keeping the same method, and you'd get a better flavor. That being said, he's still a goon.

[@smithblack5945]

Even if he used better wood, Dave would probably bitch that the wood he's using is "too expensive and inaccessible" for the common man.

[@naturalistmind]

excuse me, kind corn, the animal you are thinking of is not a manatee, but a Brett Keane, i know my broad knowledge of earths many creatures shows my age but its not my fault that i was bitten by a vampire 4000 years ago.

[@KyaliDragonkin]

This man hates flavor so fucking much 🤣

[@TimeForDunston]

Imagine actually caring about other people's perception of your masculinity... how primitive.

[@DahVoozel]

Critiqueception.

[@alliejasmine]

How the fuck can you be mad at someone for not wanting to eat the same GSP steak every time they have steak? I wonder if Dave would freak out if he saw Guga’s Foods video where he dry aged $10,000 of Japanese Wagyu A5 steaks? Why would you not want to try to make ‘the best steak on the planet’ better?

[@gregoryhenry8464]

Nice

[@Ireallywouldrathernot]

He's probably "so mad" because it's his brand. I'm not trying to simp for Dave but seriously Dave is just not really worth you putting out stream clips if this is the level of content. Bad Empanada did have some reasonable points in his weird upsetti spaghetti take down of breadtube and one was about how streams are easy and cutting streams down to clips is easy compared to making proper videos and not every section you end up doing on a stream is actually worth posting. This was not. Dave wasn't being stupid enough and you called it "Dave just hates Everything" but it comes across as "Jake just hates Dave".

[@Veep_The_Goblin_Hermit]

Bro you gotta learn how to fix the audio sync thing. It's so distracting

[@Ireallywouldrathernot]

Sometimes though, you two are just doing the same thing of reacting with your very first impulse. Like, yes, I think Dave has a point about going "why are we talking about Pittsburgh when it's supposed to be Argentinian" and then you immediately pause to be like "Dave, you so dumb".