"Gourmet" Cooking with Dave

Thumbnail "Corn King" art done by Emperor Neuro
emperorneuro.newgrounds.com
Twitter - @popculturejoke
Intro "Maizelbub" art by Dan Rossi
danrossidraws.com
Twitter - @danrossidraws
Catch all my streams LIVE at / actualjake
#Politics #Debate #Twitch

[@blitzwinters5687]

So, wait. He gets all pissy when a professional chef "burns" a burger by charring it, but then he actually burns his shit and says "Don't worry, it's fine"? Seriously?

[@Ehhhhhmm]

"And with each hit imagine it's Brie Larsons face" what is it with these people and Brie Larson...

[@simonturner5425]

She’s a good looking lady who is vocally progressive, and because she’s progressive, she’s bad. That’s the commonly line of thinking I can see between him and Jeremy

[@greatfrito]

"Dave is Time-Travel Jeremy" is my favorite theory ever.

[@michaelmckeown5396]

It also makes sense

[@heinz57channel39]

Nah Dave is WWFs “earthquake”

[@Sykoze]

Does that make Jake the monster from It Follows?

[@SecurityMonitorLizard]

If I served this to my family they'd take me back just to disown me again.

[@benburke3015]

9:36 Yeah, Dave's general delivery has a real incel energy to it that butchers any "potential" his "jokes" could've had.

[@mountainhun]

It's like he has to use such violent language to reinforce that, despite the fact that he is cooking, he is a masculine manly man who is secure in his maleness. Probably also the reason he used beer in the batter, cause Beer is what Men Drink.

[@Gabbasuperhero]

"AWWWWW YEA IM GONNA RAPE THIS CHICKEN SANDWICH, THEN PAY IT LESS AND TELL IT TO SMILE MORE"

[@randomnameseventytwo1307]

@@Gabbasuperhero Nothing wrong with fuckin the fear turkey my friend

[@__Andrew]

I just picture after he makes all this food, like 10 servings worth, he just sits alone at a large table as sad music plays and he eats all of it while softly crying and asking himself "how did i get here".

[@Mikitanfox1]

He probably drinks constantly to keep such thoughts at bay honestly...

[@rev0lve638]

The Sigma pipeline

[@Don-md6wn]

Is this the new right wing grift? I saw Jimmy Dore was posting pictures on Twitter of food he's cooked. I know Fox News ratings have dropped. Maybe these guys are trying to transition to lifestyle channels.

[@thefirebreathingleftist8648]

Rock a Doodle. CHANTICLEEEEEER! God we are old Jake.

[@tyleraxley1651]

I watched that movie so much on VHS, it was lit

[@Kropothead]

I wore that video out. Cult classic.

[@seansteele6532]

It's all shot under this brutally low lighting that makes everything look so grey.

[@LowRentTechGuy]

Dave thinks he's funny but really he is just putting his incel tendencies on display.

[@randomnameseventytwo1307]

forget the politics people we got to bully dave about his cooking its far worse then his "libertarian" takes

[@BigMcStronghuge]

"What about this equals gourmet?" Dave thinks eating food off a cutting board means it's haute cuisine.

[@JUGGALOKEMON]

2:29 bro rockadoodle was my fucking childhood lmao I love you.

[@feralguyver]

Coor-met

[@smspain09]

Jake's right -- he doesn't mix, he just stirs. I didn't notice at first, but it's so there.

[@animatorstanley]

I always confuse Jeremy and Dave. They look the same to me.

[@ShinGallon]

"The thing to make everything better: Pickles" Out of all the gross, wrong things Dave has ever said I don't think I've ever disagreed with anything as much as I do that statement.

[@Deeraise]

"I shop at Meijer" -- holy shit dude, we might be neighbors.

[@CentralStateHyan]

I feel sorry for Dave's toilet.

[@Ematched]

I gotta have more gloop.

[@kapnikronik1458]

Jesus....as a chef for the past 16 years my advice he needs to stop.

[@kapnikronik1458]

I couldn't go any further than the burnt cheese and the greese filled chicken patties, this is literally the stuff my non cook friends send me acting impressed and I have to pretend it's not a greesey overcooked crap with burnt cheese.

[@Chrisped.to.perfection]

As a WinCo employee....we don't own it 🤣

[@CaptainPrincess]

oh god dijon is the most disgusting thing Ive ever smelled or tasted I dont know what ingredient in it makes me fuckin sick but it do instant queasy

[@MyHairyRoommates]

Who takes cooking advice from a man that basically eats mayonnaise with a spoon?

[@KireiC]

Dave: Use a steam lid Me: wtf why do his steam lids look so raggedy... one handle's all loose, that one looks like it has caulking... Dave: I made these steam lids myself Me: oh honey no

[@Rattletrap1000]

He's shaky probably from being a high functioning drunk

[@bigbrainidiot6486]

The "L" in the blt dip is loneliness :'(

[@amagicallaura]

a year later i have become obsessed with dave's cooking. but this one went over the top. like i enjoy very rich calorific food, but that dip...i was just screaming internally. & then the food processer full of...cheese paste...i was literally gagging. i heard dave was trying to cut down on drinking (awhile ago) but even if he went teetotal this shit should have killed him years ago. im not saying he should eat salad if he hates it, but he *never* puts fruit or veggies in anything he cooks & he *always* eats a ton of super rich food. if i ate like that for a week i would want to die. how???

[@JamesDM_]

didn't have to go that hard on the mcchicken first thing, they never did anything to deserve that slander

[@Azrael666Azazel]

For the love of god, please don't flip your burger more than once. You want grill marks/ build a crust. Flipping multiple times defeats the purpose.

[@angelac5628]

This guy sounds angry at women

[@saininj]

I mean, he is a neckbeard.

[@TheCrippledEgg]

The dude talked about bashing Brie Larson's face with a meat tenderizer. Like I get he doesn't like her, but jeez man.

[@avalonofbabylon3024]

3:51 how to basic you just want how to basic

[@mallowhoney]

Meijer produce is the best. They even get persimmons sometimes which are so rare out here in cornsville.

[@newsxcxfrce2585]

The McChicken has regional differences: here in Colorado there is only the spicy option "Hot n' Spicy McChicken" I've never had the non-spicy version. It's truly spicy as f, the patty is entirely red colored, I loved them (I've long ago quit meat besides fish, I'm a wonderful man.) The breading never separated from the meat, from my experiences.

[@TheFhqwhgadsLimit]

Whoa I never realized that was Colorado specific. I totally grew up with those and never realized the plain McChicken was a standard thing elsewhere. I live in Singapore now and we have a Singapore specific version called the McSpicy which is very similar but a different kind of spice.

[@newsxcxfrce2585]

@@TheFhqwhgadsLimit I don't think it's specific to only Colorado, I'm not sure what it all encompasses

[@newsxcxfrce2585]

@@TheFhqwhgadsLimit I don't think it's specific to only Colorado, I'm not sure what it all encompasses

[@ashrobin55]

It's here in New Mexico too, compared to most food here, it's not that spicy, but, I feel you.

[@koivunen2489]

Why do I need to sit on the chicken, again?

[@riffler24]

Jesus Dave, just call it a "homemade fried chicken sandwich" Or say "here's how you cook my favorite recipe for a fried chicken sandwich" The idea of a "gourmet McChicken" indicates that you're taking the recipe of a McChicken and making it fancy...

[@pyanezb]

The Brie Larson bit really disturbed me.

[@claydonious2418]

God I watched the shit out of Rock-a-doodle

[@sbushido5547]

Someone please explain to me the rationale behind putting diced onions on a burger. Like...onions are round. Why not just slice one?

[@MikusDad39]

a solid slice of onion, even cut very thin, would result in more onion per bite than diced onions would. you also can't accidentally pull out all the diced onions in one bite like you can with rings of onion

[@WeedgokuBonerhitler]

Gentlemen, a Mc Chicken: slow pan over soggy, sloppy chicken with a single slice of burnt cheese and grimy ass pickles.

[@miraiyouko]

This man has the same unhealthy relationship with food that he does with everything else he comments on. The amounts of cheese and mayo used is astonishing!

[@Eibarwoman]

Gore-met, not gourmet

[@jonmorgan6812]

And the Gore quota was met

[@angelac5628]

I would watch your cooking show

[@blitzwinters5687]

It's possible I'm misremembering, but I don't think I've ever had a pub burger without onion rings or pickles on it.

[@reform-revolution]

if it dont got unions rings its not a pub/bar burger

[@Mike-zx6sl]

Don't get me wrong, Budweiser isn't great but Sam Adams isn't great either. Grow up and go buy some Mother's or Stone, Dave.

[@Orphus]

He's just so gross

[@faestark4898]

new theory: kurt cobain never killed himself but he suffered a worse fate: he became dave

[@williamwest3594]

Meijer . . . How I miss that store at 2 AM for that midnight grocery run. They had bread that was just like marraqueta! And good deli meats. Damn.

[@saininj]

YES. More cooking mediocrity from Lord of Cringe.

[@Eibarwoman]

I think it's more Kitchen Nightmares

[@ExImperialDragon]

I usually brine my chicken in water, sugar, salt, and a bit of lemon juice before doing the egg wash and breading. I don't know how to cook or anything, but they come out pretty great to my uncultured palate.

[@blargh3428]

I can cook better than this guy and I've had 0 training

[@ari_anon2228]

i actually love mcchickens but without the shred. it’s likely because i grew up eating them lol (i have a bunch of siblings so if we went to mcdonald’s, it was the dollar menu, and the mcchicken used to be a dollar). but i like dipping them in the hot mustard like a true american

[@stevenx399]

Same

[@leehalloway8787]

I was outraged after Dave added a cup of mayo.

[@toprem4037]

So I'm sitting here wondering why some cooking video is being watched... 5:25... oh... That took a weird turn. 9:18 - Oh, it gets weirder

[@tuntemon]

Cream cheese is like sand, it gets everywhere. Dave Skywaddler

[@epicfacepanda]

Imagine a shock top beer batter because that what I did and it was gross

[@xrinti]

I disagree whole heartedly with your 85/15 assertion. Burgers should be 80/20 or a mix of 80/20 and 75/25.

[@21forevergone]

First

[@randomnameseventytwo1307]

but were you first in the original upload?

[@Eibarwoman]

I beat you by 3 minutes