The 9 Traits of the Narcissist | Little Lessons With David Servant

[@MaryamIskander-h3w]

They do not accept constructive criticism only admiration, that one hit home.

[@retrobarbie9028]

Contrary to what people think, narcs don't go after the weak. They go after the strong. Just for the pleasure of taking that person down, changing them. Before I met my husband, I was independent, positive, and self confident. Now I am none of those things. This is what narcs want.

[@MamaBear-rm6gk]

I completely understand, I am so sorry your going through this! I will pray for you!

[@augustcrystal8318]

Try watching the 3ABN app that’s what lift my spirit back up again ♥️

[@leialee6820]

Contrary to what you say a Narcissist person usually goes after the weak & vulnerable person who they think they can control & manipulate easier & not the strong person.

[@launderedcotton8070]

Same here. Strong independent woman reduced to disabled and dependent.

[@JF32304]

So get out and find someone that loves and encourages you.

[@paulreints2279]

She's all nine. I didn't know the word narcissist before meeting her five years ago. I wish I never met her, but the experience has fundamentally changed my life.

[@spurge83]

Hi David, I am in the early stages of turning back to God and I just wanted to thank you for your videos as they have been very useful in providing guidance. You are providing such a valuable resource.

[@christinespenceley7178]

Thank you so much David. I have been emotionally, mentally and spiritually affected by a Narcisist in my church and she has all the 9 traits. Turning all my friends against me and people in leadership. I have had no one to turn to. I am waiting for God to intervene. But it has been 10years. Vengeance is mine says the Lord but this is painful in the waiting. The person prospers, but so much damage has been done to me in the church. You have confirmed to me the truth. I love the truth. Jesus is my friend, He stands by me. Thanks for the encouragement. I will guard my heart now more because of what you have said , so wise, to trust and continue to wait for the Lord. Jesus only Jesus knows the whole truth. Please pray for me the Lord to give me breakthrough and to set me free. You do understand, so relieved that someone understands. I am grateful thank you for presenting it so well.Christine

[@boseayinuola78]

Run 🏃‍♀️away from them!

[@moerbesam7974]

I believe all that you are saying. There was never before anywhere I could go for help. I really think I have lost my mind. And am trying to recover. Everything you say is true.

[@Kelly-ls7pr]

This, alongside your other videos on narcissists, spoke to me more than the hundreds of other videos and books I've watched and read on the personality disorder. Thank you to you. Thank you to God 🙏 I just want to add that I've experienced everything you speak about here with my husband who I've recently separated from due to these behaviours and the behaviour does get worse over time, especially when they realise you KNOW, once you see them at their core, once God has truly opened your eyes, they will gaslight, lie, verbally abuse, manipulate 10x worse than before in a desperate bid to get you back under their control. It really is like a 3 year old child having a tantrum and doing whatever they can to get your attention. Once you know, you know and there is no going back, no denying it anymore & this knowledge will protect you from other personality disordered characters for the rest of your Earthly life! Amen!

[@Cookie-kk9dc]

My father has all of these traits. We are dealing with the results of his behavior now. Soon a trip to court because of his anger because of disagreements. I have gone to Dr to get in anxiety medication to cope. Certainly understand with all my heart I do!

[@TeresaGarcia-o1j]

Thank you for this content! Painful to accept and realize why it’s imperative to stay under Gods protection. Psalm 91.

[@moerbesam7974]

You have done your homework on this. I can vouch for you that this is all true.

[@KittyCatKrew]

Absolutely! Have dealt with two of this type personality in my last few years in ministry.

[@lynnjaxful]

Love your presentation! Thank you for your diligence. God bless you!

[@ifeomaamalu6189]

Thank you.

[@susuabc]

9 traits of Narcisscists: 1) A grandiose sense of self importance. (self absorbed, think they deserve special treatment, superior) 2) fantasy about unlimited power, beauty, money, love. 3) Think they are special & unique, and should only associate with others of the same status. 4) Requires special admiration . Looks for suppliers of admiration ("Flying Monkeys" - Narcisscists enemies will be the Flying Monkeys enemies) 5) Sense of entitlement 6) interpersonally exploitative - after they use you they take no responsibility & gaslight/ blame you 7) Lacks empathy. They don't care if they ruin your life. No response, silent treatment. Pleasing them is killing you. Get discarded. 8) Jealous, envies others, or think you envy them. (Protects their sins on others ex: calls othets Liars) 9) shows arrogant , haughty behaviors. Disappointment causes Rage. Impulsiveness - ex: Rage to normal in seconds. Love bombing then screaming, criticizing, blaming deflecting.

[@biscuitHEAD2012]

Hi David! I'm not sure if you have ever read the book, "The First Will be Last", by D.C.Robertsson, but it is completely worth the read. He explains how the bible refers to, "Narcissists" as "Those with insolent pride" or "Scoffers and Mockers". While doing much research and viewing many KZbin videos, I found myself wondering, "Is this a demon? It most certainly isn't Holy". I honestly believe, these people have that, "Dr.Jekyl l and Mr.Hyde", type personality shift, because it is, in fact, demonic. Whether it is only 1 evil spirit, or multiple, is subjective. But being a Christian, and seeing things from the perspective of the kingdom of God, I just couldn't overlook the possibility that this is truly a spiritual warfare happening. Our fight is not of the flesh. These people truly need healing, but unfortunately, they would have to want the healing. And of course, they would never admit to that. Thanks for your insightful videos, I am really grateful to have found you! God bless!

[@fjalling]

I agree with your demon conclusion. You make me wonder if this particular demon infestation is a sign they are tares. Does anyone know any recovered /saved in Christ for sure ex narcissists?! The ones I have dealt with are just unreachable.

[@ayehay]

I believe you can be a genuine Christian and have NPD. I think with true NPD it’s a defence mechanism like with multiple personality and caused by childhood trauma (which is where a stronghold/demon could be attached too). The resistance when triggered is so strong and it’s place is deadly protected. I believe that is the inner child doing that and may need to be communicated with to feel safe and unravel it and change their will. (This is how they rid of the extra personalities in s/o w multiple personality disorder). I am dealing w s/o who I believe has NPD but God is telling me to cut them off 😥 I’ve heard also, sometimes this is the only thing that makes them wake up and come to the surface. & Staying says the bad behaviour is okay and enables them. So its prob the best thing for everyone.

[@ayehay]

Also I think there is a big difference between someone who is struggling with/in denial, and someone who is embracing their sin/narcissism. One may be willing to be helped, the other def not.

[@deek4468]

Omg thank you for sharing!! I am in a 10 year marriage with an extreme narcissist please keep me in your prayers!!!

[@biscuitHEAD2012]

@@deek4468 I will be praying for you. I was also married to a narcissist, however, mine was "covert" which really makes it hard to spot. I just finalized my divorce on March 1st. Praise God! The hard part now, is having to co parent with him. God is truly with you!!

[@bradybooth14]

Great lesson, great humble man.

[@jodie3671]

Yup, they have a split personality. The unreality in which they find themselves in(worse when they're stuck behind a screen 12hours per day) where they constantly see their own relflection mirrored back to them and falls in love with it, over and over again is what changes them into something else you don't want to know. Very twisted individuals and they will destroy you if you let them. Sad but true.

[@marywall5262]

The message I came across lately was “ You are not responsible for what you cannot control”. I have tried to be the rescuer of a narcissist, only to have them turn on me. I put up an emotional block on them immediately. All I get from them now is a blank look on their face.

[@Gyle.3559]

They will turn on you if you try to rescue them. I have faced this.

[@DV77737]

Interesting how we put people into personality disorder boxes. I see folks as born again or lost, in this fallen world in which we live. God bless you

[@phylvalen9991]

@Darren V no, not boxes. These disorders are so real and the effects of their behavior are devastating. Unless you've experienced it for yourself you cannot understand. I've just left a 2 year state where I was so broken and traumatized I still cannot comprehend what happened to the charming attentive loving kind wonderful person who had me walking on cloud nine...for three months. The lights went out and the person just disappeared. A male sibling whose wife passed and I moved states to 'care' for him. Had I stayed I would have taken my life. The face he showed me for those three months doesn't exist its fake. You cannot imagine the effect that the gaslighting has, the invalidation, the bullying, the hatred, the confusion (what the hell is happening) sorry but that's what it is. The almost complete destruction of who I thought I was. I did so much for him and even if I'd done everything it wouldn't have helped. Nothing is enough. He would raise his hands in church, dance in front..and the moment the car doors closed the abuse would start. Listen to Dr Les Carter on Covert Narcissism. Take care.

[@77sunflowers]

I have a sister who claims to be born again but is narcissistic...

[@jorgemoro6367]

I see the inner conflict some people have with the weak and strong label. I was strong but my boundaries were weak , if my narcissistic significant other wanted me to be strong it was only for the sake of me continuing to accept the abuse until I was completely broken , kind of like wringing out a wash cloth , extracting every bit of narcissistic supply., financially and emotionally. I still needed answers as to why I would continue allowing this abuse , the answers were within me , the childhood I had , the neglect I received , and mostly the enabling that occured , I had to from a young age turn the cheek because the parental figure felt it was better to keep the peace than to defend oneself during conflict. There is a victim who becomes an abuser. There's a victim who survives and thrives. There's a victim who continues being the victim because of the familiarity with such behaviour. The Abuser cannot change but the victim who continues to fall for toxic individuals can change and become the thriver with some education , coaching, and therapy.

[@MamaBear-rm6gk]

Thank you for your videos! I just found your channel, I have been married almost 7 years now. My husband showes a lot of the 9 traits. I am currently in therapy due to my marriage. I am a Christian, trying to do the right Christian thing by keeping my commitment to God and stay married. My husband says he is a Christian also. Staying married to a narcissistic husband is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I have buried a child. I dont want to dishonor my husband but I am having such a hard time. I would love for you to make a video on staying married to a narcissist, is it a biblical command. He refuses to go to therapy, he says our marriage is perfect. I am having a very hard spiritual time. My husband told me a few years ago he was a narcissist and had no empathy for others, he told me he didn't care how bad he hurts me emotionally. We have 2 children together 1 living. I want my marriage to workout for my son's sake. And to Glorify God!

[@newearth9712]

I am going through the exact same thing, being a Christian and married to a narcissist is very hard. How can my husband be a Christian if he has these traits? How can I continue in my Christian walk if I am distracted with dealing with this personality in my life...its very sad

[@jlmcnichols]

I feel for you dear. I’ve been married for 19 yrs( 2 marriage) he is very verbally abusive. This last time he was so mad he punched a hole in the bedroom door. I told him today we need to go to counseling I’d be willing to go to save our marriage and he told me he did nothing wrong. How can you call your wife disgusting names and say you did nothing wrong. It’s my fault for his actions he takes no responsibility for them. I am looking for a lawyer. If he’s not willing to go to counseling that our marriage is over! I cannot live this way any longer! Do you know when your heart what’s right to heal so do it don’t live with something that you do not deserve! And if you have sons they’re learning to treat their wives by the example of the father! We have more strength in us than we know and God will help us. I’ll be praying for you best wishes to you and your family🙏🏻

[@marygarrett9724]

Le@ve. God will not be glorified by his behavior or you suffering thru it. It might be the way to get his attention

[@launderedcotton8070]

Separation and celibacy isnt divorce.

[@cartierjener5472]

I love these videos ❤

[@hangryturtle9006]

Such excellent information!

[@tamiduncan777]

Thank you for sharing. So hard to accept reality. I'm Sure Saul of Tarsus has NPD before his encounter with Jesus Christ on the road to demascas. So difficult to not Love when you Have Christ dwelling in you .to love is one thing to continue to accept the abuse is another .I can no longer accept the abuse but I continue to pray the man comes to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ . Thanks for sharing with us David .

[@rodneydenlinger8890]

Narcissism is growing and will continue to grow. 2 Timothy 3:1-7

[@craighohnberger]

Question… (this covers some of what you discussed in your series on narcissists). If dealing with a narcissist, how can we influence them if we do not give them their “narcissistic supply?” You suggested that leading psychologists say to stop that and ignore them and end the relationship. i.e. if in a relationship that cannot be ended; with a goal to have them meet Jesus and God heal them; is it not a more biblical approach to “love my neighbor as myself” and give them real affirmations for what they truly are gifted at (and not fake affirmation in other areas)? So long as I am not allowing them to manipulate me, so long as I stand firmly in my identity in Christ. If I just cut them out completely, do we not lose the ability to influence them? If we who love them don’t give them the supply they need, will they not toss us out like an old tool they have no use for and seek that supply from others who may be more easily manipulated?

[@AIHTube1]

Flying monkeys is a great illustration.

[@erikapadilla5532]

I don't know why but the first person that came to my mind is lucifer. This is his description.

[@freeyourselfoftoxicity]

Me too. Exactly my thoughts. In fact I think he is the original Narcissist and his flying monkeys are the fallen angels that sided with him. We've obviously been victimized that's why we're on channels like this. But, the Lord will make all things new and these kinds of people will know exactly who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. God bless and take care. Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year.

[@joyhancock8596]

Would you be willing to do a short video on how we are respond Biblically to a narcissist? My best friend turned out to be a narcissist and was all the 9 traits. I knew something was really wrong for a long time but I didn't know how to respond in a way that would honor Christ - I even sought Christian counseling. In the end, I ended it and blocked her. I am currently reading through Proverbs and see that in some ways I didn't not handle it Biblically and in some ways I did. For example, "Answer not a fool according to his folly" etc.

[@DavidAServant]

Hi Joy, David goes into more detail about how to respond to narcissists in the following videos: kzbin.info/www/bejne/r3u1daCLr91jfKM, kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYiXZH5jiN-Vr7c, kzbin.info/www/bejne/j4qXmZlmirmkebM

[@sherlockhomeless7138]

Hi Mr. Servant. I haven't watched this video yet. But I actually posted a comment below another video of yours. And it was actually about this topic. So, when I saw this video, I thought I'd better post it here. Here's the thing: I've been a christian all my life, but I never feel bad about any sin that I've committed. I do know what's right and wrong. But when I go to God to ask forgiveness it's weird, because I don't regret it. I don't have a real conscience. I know that this is one of the traits of a narcissist. But now what? Will God forgive me? You know, some people say: real narcissists don't even worry about whether God will forgive them or not. Well, maybe that goes for atheists. But I believe in Jesus. I know there's a heaven and a hell and I don't want to go to hell. I don't know if I'm a narcissist, but I definitely see some traits in myself. But even if I am.. then what? I told my psychologist everything about me, just so that she could make a real judgment on this. But she says I can't be, because I also have a form of autism. And someone who has a form of autism apparently can't be a narcissist. That's what she said. Anyway, I know you're not a psychologist. But I think as a pastor, you should know that there are people like me. I know you're warning others for people like me. But there must be narcissists even in your church. And I think we're both causer and victim. We're not good people. But at the same time it's deeply rootened in our personality. I've tried to change, my whole life, but to no result. I do know that my personality is not good, so I know I have to hide my anger, 'cause it's not righteous anger. But I do feel it. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is... God created us too. And he didn't make me just to throw me in hell. So, there must be some kind of hope for us. But I don't know how he sees us. I know he can't say: I'm just going to ignore your sins. I know this comment section is not exactly the right place to talk in depth about such a topic, but I can't discuss this with my parents. I hope you can answer my question. Cheers, Mike.

[@launderedcotton8070]

Aspires can come across narcissistic because of the extreme aelf-focus.

[@sandyrempel746]

It's so difficult when it is a parent - the father-figure!

[@leialee6820]

I agree. It was so difficult for me with my mother being a narcissist

[@azaramoon4027]

Thankyou for these videos, they are good reminders, im a bit worried that my country [ uk ] is saturated with them .

[@NorinneWong]

9 Traits of Selfish Narcissist: 1.Grandiose self importance 2.Preoccupation with fantasy 3.Believe they are special 4.Requires excessive admiration (supply) from blind sided loyal cowardly 2 face agents flying monkeys 5.Sense of Entiltlement 6.Interpersonally exploitative 7.Lacks empathy 8.Envies others 9.Arrogant hotty behavior (rage)

[@dr4391]

Oh, wow. My husband has all nine traits.

[@lizvega2169]

My heart is broken. My son is involved with this type of person. They have a child together whom ive never met. We used to be close and now we dont talk at all. It feels like a death in my life. I dont know how to deal with this? They are talking about getting married. My heart hurts to see my son lose himself in this.

[@sh6460]

My ex, everyone drinks the kool aid. I was recently told if I don't forgive I won't be forgiven, wondering how that meshes with the unjust judge in Luke 18:1-8? I do need to persist in prayer.

[@shelleyd9910]

I thought it was a demon so I just needed to pray more deliverance. But it’s a person choosing that behaviour. They are very scared of being abandoned and that can be the consequence God uses. But He does not force anyone to change.

[@jiyefuuu]

actually narcissism isn't increasing but more exposed. i didn't even know there's such a thing as narcissitic personality disorder until i experienced 3-4 yeras of hell under one, and just got out, look up psychology videos. only then i know the proper term of NPD

[@donnag.3611]

CHECK DR. LES CARTER, CHRISTIAN, WHO'S EXPERTISE IS NARCS TO ADD TO YOUR RESOURCES ON THIS TOPIC.

[@ifeomaamalu6189]

The gaslighting went on for 17 years alongnwith every other characteristic.

[@kountryblack5051]

Do you think it is beneficial for a Christian to even confront a narcissist? Are they even capable of accepting their wrongs or sin?

[@redsky8763]

This guy is all over the internet talking about narcissists. It seems tho he is one of them.

[@christinerogerson9400]

Surely a preditor is a narcissist because to be a predator you have to be unfeeling, untruthful and totally unkind. With no empathy or conscience. A gaslighter, a hooverer, and an evil being in my opinion.

[@moerbesam7974]

Oh yes I ve been attacked by the flying monkeys, my children. 🙏

[@smokyquartz5817]

I'm confused though, how did a Narcissist get into hosting a video on narcissism? I've seen him speaking I other things and he IS a Narcissist. Talk about a nefarious plan.

[@MrAsus3571]

Donald Trump 100%

[@GodsProphet23]

How?

[@andreawilliams2386]

@@GodsProphet23 Nope.

[@JF32304]

Nah he's not one.

[@Dhampher]

That’s Trump derangement syndrome