Dealing with Family with Anger Issues - Jocko Willink and Echo Charles

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@jockowillink @echocharles
Excerpt from JOCKOPODCAST 79.

[@maire83]

"Let's say you and me are husband and wife." "Let's not say that." LOLOLOL

[@ohhplurism6403]

My father loses his temper often. Daily. And it becomes mentally exhausting and emotionally towards my mother, my sister, and myself. This has helped me have a small insight on what to do. Thank you Jocko…. I would love to hear someone ask a question specifically about how to deal with an abusive broken father from his childhood and how he cary over his pain and insecurities onto us. Thank you.

[@juddotto3660]

Jocko as a baby ; "Mother, I'm chilly, may I have a blanket and a bottle please"

[@n1c704]

Laughing because I can think of plenty of situations this applied to me.

[@WhoIsAmaze]

n1c you must be dating a Latina girl too

[@kramercarter373]

Literally too many

[@SKBottom]

This advice only works with a sane, rational person with a short temper. When they are mentally ill, you are just screwed. All you can do is leave.

[@ZombieLincoln666]

Valium would do the trick (I speak from experience). SSRIs actually really help for anger too imo

[@BrandonP43]

Some people are just so far down a rabbit hole that you can’t revert A B C D and E by telling them D and E are wrong. To them D and E are the only logical steps because A B and C are in place. Real growth comes when you shed every bit of what you think you knew from the last decade and relearn the world. I think as your brain develops you start to have realizations and catch up to everybody else’s way of life. That’s why so many people look bad and think they were dumb because they followed the alphabet for so long then realized everyone’s numbering things.

[@cammeysigfridson7609]

Plenty of people who have no reason to be mentally ill do downward spiral so badly that they're about as easy to communicate with as a drug addict. A lot of people can rebound from being irrational. A lot of people are just delusional because they're so far into denial. The issue with that is they need to endure an intense break away from cognitive dissonance. I don't recommend trying to induce that. It could be extremely dangerous to both parties involved. I did it to my sister but I have known her my whole life. And guess what? I was terrified.

[@Vamatt99218]

People that dont understand that they lose their temper are probably narcistic because they think they are always right. I wish my family member understood that they lose their temper over petty things

[@heysweatyguy4536]

This is exactly what I needed right now this applies to my father

[@gsus723]

n you too, i take it on myself. and ask my father and conversate

[@bhuveshsharma7425]

He is good at family tactical operations

[@neilghosh3821]

Applies to myself and my father

[@aaronwilliams8859]

I was in serious need of this video. Thank you Jocko and Echo Charles. Much appreciated, nothing but respect for what you guys are doing.

[@MoonChildMedia]

Anger is the worst, but people who were abused in childhood often do have out of control anger. Not violent, but more like rageful...And you are right, it doesn't look good on anyone. It's because the adult is actually throwing a tantrum because of the needs that were not met when they truly needed someone to care for them. So as long as they are not violent, try and understand what might be driving someone's rage.

[@seekn.destroy4064]

I don't believe that. My dad called me a cunt so much that it became my first word. Was locked in a closet by my grandmother many times. I have a bad temper and all but I'm also a nice person. I like children. I like to see them happy. I don't want any bad in this world.

[@MoonChildMedia]

That is exactly what I was saying....people with anger issues were often abused....I didn't say it excused any type of violence...I just said if someone knows someone with anger issues...there is probably a reason behind it. Not everyone experienced the same type of childhood abuse nor will they be effected the same way. There is no level of childhood abuse that is "worse" than others....all childhood abuse and neglect is horrendous.

[@seekn.destroy4064]

@@MoonChildMedia uhh I would say sexual abuse is worse than emotional abuse.

[@themsensonny]

Was beaten half to death once a week until I was 12 years old. I'm SUPER calm and a great father to my son. No anger issues whatsoever and never had any. But I get your point and you wrote "often" so you didn't imply that the rule applies to everyone.

[@charlotteice5704]

@@seekn.destroy4064 I'd say emotional abuse is bad in other ways. Even though it might not hurt as much, it changes you. Not suddenly, but bit by bit. You start to believe what the abuser tells you and it convinces you. You start to question your own perception, everything. It drives you into self-hate and suicide. It took me until last summer to realize it shouldn't hate myself. Making it not affect you in such way is HARD. EXTREMELY HARD. But let's not argue about which type of abuse is worse.

[@sublimechimp]

It's not complete lack of emotion that's impressive, that's just dissociation and aloofness. Having the full presence, full awareness, and full power of the emotion and directing it the way YOU want to... that is impressive.

[@austinblackwell9141]

HOW they have achieved that and cultivated that skill is what is beyond my understanding. So true.

[@sublimechimp]

@@austinblackwell9141 My presumption is that it took them years of discipline and training and exposure to individuals who already possessed that skill.

[@austinblackwell9141]

@@sublimechimp if only we were as fortunate to have those kind of people to learn from.

[@sublimechimp]

@@austinblackwell9141 Seek and you shall find, my friend.

[@graytshirt]

Echo Charles is JACKED!!! I've been practicing pivoting a ton this year. One thing I need to get better at is not coming across as arrogant in these situations. Thanks for all of the content you all have given us.

[@frinkpoofer3375]

Sometimes it seems like my phone is reading my mind and giving me what I want or need to hear.

[@alielrefa3y800]

respect from Egypt Mr Jocko ... u r a great addition to our global homosapin specie .

[@patriotsandtyrants]

Level eleven scorched earth rage explosion aimed at a printer is totally legit. Printers are the dichotomy of temper.

[@puresafe2011]

Thank you Jocko & Echo ! Needed this !

[@Ostpreussen-km8rd]

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you." -Yoda

[@aylssacontent1092]

I know how this feels, my father always does this. I always try to make my family happy, but it turns me down........ I'm very sad. Crying right now

[@camo1553]

Keep going man your not the only one who feels like this

[@joenicholes77]

I think this is one of their top 10 best videos. Good advice and funny.

[@danialteaches]

This is fantastic. Very insightful.

[@4LayersOfStrength]

I used to find small events [when people didn't lose their temper] to reward "others". The more I Go My Own Way, the more discerning I am with my conflict management skills. Great video!

[@fahb68]

Im 50 and have 25 years of mareiage and now im learning all you say.... and is working,..... when we are young we dont think the things as well as now.... men youbare makimg great work shaein all this to the young .....👌👌👌

[@nmarrs8539]

Seriously ever time I listen to Jocko all I see is my dads face. Cause he’s almost the same person. 35yrs in the service taut him a lot.

[@voidvakarian8219]

You the man Jocko!

[@gregwillard4934]

I'm dying!

[@rawrawra8455]

Flanking great advice!!! thanks Jocko

[@joeythechin8870]

Jocko, Ever since Iraq and being blown up 6 times and watching brothers die without having the capacity to give a shit due to our circumstances; I came back with an explosive temper! I am going to the VA psychiatrist and psychologist but I’m not seeing any light. I was never bothered by my wife’s voice or her hand motions when she talked BEFORE I was deployed; but now I get furious with her due to both!! I’m not sure that it’s an Ego issue because it’s instantaneous. What if anything do you have in your Awesome experience and advice for Veterans who are diagnosed with PTSD and TBI; who are dealing with explosive tempers post war. I served in Baghdad 06’-08’ pre and during the “Surge”.

[@globalprofits101]

This will help a lot of people! Props mr.willink

[@TacoMexxx]

Loved the video, Thank You Guys 💯💯💯

[@halfgallon674]

Gonna be 100% honest I saw the muscles and immediately assumed you guys would be ‘meat heads’ but this conversation has blown my assumptions out of the water. Like I really do feel dumb as fuck for allowing my preconceptions to go unchecked. Also I love these kind of videos because I can feel them slowly repairing pieces of emotional trauma.

[@AgeofMachines]

Needed this.

[@RohanKayani]

Completely agree. Kids will learn from parents and elder siblings

[@NikkiNexo777]

PMS stands for "Pack My Suitcase", because that's what I want to do whenever it rolls around once a month.

[@tvern77]

It’s no fun for us either 😕

[@NikkiNexo777]

@@tvern77 I'm sure it's not with the cramps, and bloating, and what not. My hats off to all women who not only put up with that once a month, but the willingness to carry a child for 9 months and give birth. I'm pretty sure women can tolerate pain better than men.

[@moreflexmoresex3011]

@@NikkiNexo777 that depends on the kind of the pain...

[@NSRageLog]

video was straight facts.

[@naveonejakson2305]

This my family

[@alexbird5628]

Even Jocko is a guy who has no idea what he did wrong!

[@DalTron001]

My sister in law came into the kitchen and we asked her where her fiance was. She said that he was sleeping and she didn't want to wake him up for dinner because he acts like a toddler when you wake him up from a nap. This blew my mind, no one else even thought about it, but I thought how in the world is that okay? Throwing a fit should be embarrassing beyond belief.

[@dimeolas777]

Ego and not being in touch with themselves nor able to express themselves, add a pile of insecurity and people get mad. They dont always see the truth of whats going on or recognise a true threat. they see and hear thru their emotional filter and all combined can make it hard dealing with people and create some messes. Thats why the most important thing in a marraige is communication.

[@JohnnyMulder]

These guys break me up me while teaching me! If you haven't been over to Victory MMA in San Diego you need to go.

[@ArrowSalad]

Congrats to the new couple, Jocko and Echo.

[@ridamalik581]

The only thing that calms my anxiety is rational talk. Namaste

[@georgemargaris]

Really important discussion. Unnecessary anger issues plague all of humanity... It wouldnt hurt if we learned to be a little bit more Vulkan. Not all the way, but a little bit. Why always make bad situations even worse? So stupid.

[@Gilbertmk2]

"Let's not say that" hahaha.

[@usbgus]

More short clips would be nice

[@aphysique]

Echo, Looking Swol as Farrrrrrk! Echo camp check in.

[@seekn.destroy4064]

Can't see his legs. Echo doesn't squat.

[@jakeedgell591]

@@seekn.destroy4064 Charlie don't surf and echo don't squat

[@blazegarcia5607]

Jocko is so smart, my ex made all these mistakes, giving no emotion when I was upset about something, letting his ego get in the way, not wanting to look "weak" in his own mind, but really just coming off as cold and arrogant.

[@exzavier8339]

I feel like I am the only one in my family who can control their emotions. Actually, my dad stays pretty controlled but in extreme cases, he will start yelling. When it comes to my mom and brother, they go ape shit. It's actually insane sometimes.

[@gavins9846]

Same. Good God the anger, angst is just through the damn roof here.

[@pranavs84]

Love the term "student of your podcast"

[@juss2133]

Holy fuck, this was equally helpful and funny. Thanks. 😂

[@jackemarleeyoung]

Pen (check) Paper (check) Ego (....umm..)

[@bhuveshsharma7425]

Lol

[@c431inf]

What escalates is when they realize you have your ear plugs in 😂 then it gets violent

[@sMiLe-tp5gq]

Mind Games by Pamela Kole, i think this is the one Echo was talking about.

[@stephenkramer8283]

10:12 LOL. Jocko's "Echo what are you even saying" face.

[@evanfriedman7751]

Who could dislike these videos?...

[@bhuveshsharma7425]

We have some ISIS supporters here

[@evanfriedman7751]

🤯 ... you’re right... I forgot how the wisdom of love and freedom is unlike any other wisdom; it is the purest type of wisdom. Unique and Personal, yet Courageous and Relentless. The wisdom of Isis is plainly death and loss... may Jesus continue to bring hem dreams of His Glorious presence so that they will all be saved!

[@mmolina869]

Echo 'Dr.Phil' Charles.....damn son!

[@officialyoutubecommentator4357]

About to post that, check.

[@officialyoutubecommentator4357]

Many similarities. .......SWOLE

[@bobbybush1750]

When I got out of juvenile my junior year, I was living with my dad and he said something about my mother. I put about 3 holes in the wall that are still there.

[@RustyShakleford1]

my dad spit in my face after slandering my mom and wanting me to hit him. instead i laughed and called him a coward piece of shit. i then proceeded to punch a hole in the wall as well. thank you for sharing your story. all the best to you in life

[@johnlow3909]

Echo. Did you ever remember the author of mind games? I would like to give it a read. Keep up the good work gentlemen!

[@robwahl]

Guessing its Mind games by Pamela Kole or Michael Powell.

[@LanceSnowFeb1479]

When you search for mind games the book there are many from all different authors. Do you have a link to the book on your amazon account? I wonder how much you would make from giving the links to the books on your amazon resellers account? Just an idea... It would help.

[@TheCashfile]

I think he is referring to The Mind Game by Devika Das

[@clareahtee]

Yes I was trying to find which author as well. Can anyone else confirm? Thanks

[@shawngatke3685]

I want to know more about the mind games book

[@TheCashfile]

I think he is referring to The Mind Game by Devika Das

[@BattlefieldSailor]

Fight fire with fire! -SLAM Layers...

[@jameswilson9306]

Can we get the book title and author by any chance?

[@TheCashfile]

I think he is referring to The Mind Game by Devika Das

[@adamsoto6466]

@echocharles who is the author of the book mind games? I want to make sure I get the correct one. Also a big Thank you to jocko and echo for these podcasts. You're helping me be a better man and most importantly a better father to my son.

[@TheCashfile]

I think he is referring to The Mind Game by Devika Das

[@adamsoto6466]

@@TheCashfile thanks I'll look for it.

[@jasonplassaras2564]

Biceps all over the place.

[@brianbradley1952]

❤️

[@benpixx2678]

You mention a book titled 'Mind Games'; can you tell me the author, please? Thank you for the interesting content on your channel.

[@DennisManey]

Does anyone know the book Echo was referring to? "Mind Games"

[@akshaybande4836]

Awesome thumbnail😂

[@hounddog2952]

Echo angered over Jocko blocking him on his wife's fakebook page 👀 😂😂😂😂

[@seekn.destroy4064]

Stay in your lane Echo

[@BrandonP43]

Tempers look cool to people who haven’t lost their one too many times.

[@crystalchandler6742]

Hangry is real!

[@Carbondan]

Please have DRAGO on the podcast.

[@emberjaxx585]

Does anyone know the author of the book “mind games” the echocharles talks about at 12:31?

[@luke17031987]

jocko. what book is it at the end?

[@TheCashfile]

I think he is referring to The Mind Game by Devika Das

[@robertgaissert7290]

If you think about it this is the solution towards world peace

[@TheMaaark]

I think the author of the book Echo is speaking of may be, Kayode Enwerem

[@andersbjorklund2623]

Haha Echo and Jocko look like they’re arguing in the thumbnail

[@123yea]

Where can I submit a question??

[@JarretMinkler]

Jocko has to weigh in on killshot 😂😂

[@rabidwolf931]

Jocko just put me in a rear naked choke, then Echo punched me in the face. GOOD!

[@user-ob3gy3zo6y]

You brilliant bastard. Would you recommend furthering your education to learn more about human psychology? Considering getting my clinical degree, if you found an alternate route to getting this smart I’d love to hear

[@daviddeleon3154]

🤔 2 X's cheeeck 🤣🤣

[@jondeason1160]

Epigenetics

[@IvanHasADeathwish]

11:48 hahahah

[@officialyoutubecommentator4357]

Flank

[@donalejo1889]

THE MARINE CORPS IS MY FAMILY

[@vincentcrowley5196]

I don't want to lose my temper but sometimes you need to show your teeth , or people will walk all over you , I would rather talk calmly or walk away if I feel like I'm going to lose it

[@OneNordicWarrior]

Why would 1 person dislike?

[@arvidfalk5719]

Probably drunk, possibly confused...

[@D3ADSY]

They were HANGRY

[@metalslug38]

You know me just me and my temper, yeah I do know you I wish I didn't lmao that shit made me laugh. Hate when people say dumb shit like that.

[@Kittonwy]

STIFLE THOSE EMOTIONS

[@darealaustinlee]

I have a temper and lose control. I’m also a communication major that’s been in the army, going through 3 dui’s, and if you call me a baby I should slap you. My tempers not for power, it’s for you to leave me tf alone. My power stems from my IQ.

[@gavins9846]

Yea you might as well shit your own pants to get people to leave you alone. 💀

[@mikkohiironen6821]

There is "anger gene" well actually many but just go google "darpp-32 and anger"

[@slayer04031974]

Rule No.1 being married and with Kids. Don't forget you are Married and No time clock.

[@tijerinaivan]

if you don`t cry while whatching "a football life" u are dead inside..or am i a cwy bby?

[@seekn.destroy4064]

Been juicing 5 years. I'm totally fucked lol

[@sublimechimp]

Adults lose their temper because they don’t know how to talk about their emotions.

[@highconfessornicodemus1613]

Trust in Christ, forgiveness and patience is almost always the answer.

[@WhoIsAmaze]

High Confessor Nicodemus truth

[@bobbybush1750]

If that's what helps you brotha, do it.

[@gimmeyoursnacks]

Amen!

[@horchatadiver]

At&t

[@andrefaaa]

I don't agree with what Echo said at 10:36. I grew up watching people close to me losing their temper all the time over the littlest and most insignificant things, and I thought that was so stupid and bizarre that I would behave and act exactly the opposite. I rarely lose my temper.

[@jonathonfrazier6622]

There are temper genes. Echo needs to watch more Jordan Peterson.

[@dave1927p]

Echos got to learn to just keep his mouth shut and ask jocko questions.

[@sublimechimp]

I disagree with Echo’s comparison of losing your temper and not being able to read. Reading is taught to every child over several years in every school system. Emotional regulation is not mentioned at any age in school. Children without emotionally competent authority figures are left far behind and lack the language to even ask the questions to catch up.

[@rabidwolf931]

Jocko just put me in a rear naked choke, then Echo punched me in the face. GOOD!