Decluttering Q&A

I'm answering questions submitted at AskDanaKWhite.com. Go there to ask questions for future lives.
My books: aslobcomesclean,com/book
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01.53: I live with my mom and older siblings. For a shared space ( pantry, living room, etc.) Is it ideal to declutter down to a single persons lower clutter threshold if they manage that space the most.
08.42: What is your favorite tip?
14.17: How can you incorporate take it there no if 1. it's not your (helping a friend) 2. it is a lot of items for display and 3. they don't have an idea where they want to display it yet.
24.12: My boyfriend has clutter all over every wall. How can I respectfully ask him to make space for my new visual system.
28.53: You've mentioned that your mothers clutter threshold is higher than yours. Can you go into some detail with examples on how that is?
32.39: I have been gleaning lots of advice from your decluttering podcasts, website etc. and I'm eager to dive in! However, I am extremely overwhelmed and feeling paralyzed. Not quite sure how to begin.
38.29: where you should start when your entire house is a huge cluttered mess. Should I start in the easiest room or the worst?
40.36: ​​?? Is there actually such a thing as rage purging in your opinion? I’m to the point I want to set it all on fire 🔥 I’m just done with all the excess that is everywhere STILL.
43.23: ​​??? my family decluttered so much. One person refuses to declutter because "it can be sold ". Rest of us is down to sentimental stuff - the % of this person's stuff compared to us is so big. Advice?
46.15: ​​Question- how do I make peace with myself giving away decorations for the big holidays? I did get some Christmas decoration out. But unfortunately I regret it.
48.12: ​​??How do I let go of my late husband's research and sermons? It feels like I'm disrespectful of his life's work as a preacher and missionary, even though I know no one else will use them.
50.56: I recently moved and put my kitchen things in various kitchen cabinets. The problem is I don't remember which cabinets I put items in. How could I have done this better? I am 75 which doesn't help. My daughter found the large bowl I couldn't find at Christmas. What should I do better now?
52.37: ???When you are decluttering a small home how do you decide what is container worthy when it feels like what you need is bigger than the container?
55.25: I have decor sitting in my garage that I use once a year probably six boxes to decorate for a ladies conference help

[@cynthiacouey1920]

My 9 year old grandson and I doing a 5 minute PU. He asks the questions. I hold up an item. He says, Does it live here? I say No. He says Does it have a Home? I say Yes He says, Take it there now. Not exact wordage but gets the job done! LOL😇🥰

[@deniseharwood9521]

That's wonderful! You are giving him a gift that will benefit him his whole life.

[@temi4116]

​@@deniseharwood9521, yes, a gift that he will find useful his entire life.

[@Chaundradickinson]

Favorite tip comment - You're a brilliant teacher. You same the same things over and over, with slight nuance. It just depends on the listener as to what sticks. You're advice is so helpful.. but basically you tell us to do it. For overthinkers and project folks, you give a great process and flavor. You're an amazing story teller.

[@temi4116]

Chaundra, I like the truth and wording of your compliment to Dana. Really on point. Repetition helps me immensely. Thank you for your post. Dana , thank you for your energy, simplicity, and great teaching. Those are helping me immensely.

[@maws1113]

Last night my husband was man-splaining to me that if we went out each week and cleaned up my new car it would be so much easier to clean than if we waited until it was really dirty. I almost shouted “DISHES MATH!!!” But as we were in the middle of our favorite small pizzeria, that didn’t seem appropriate. 😊 Thank you, Dana, for teaching me dishes math!

[@cheerfulmouse]

I keep kitchen towels stashed in corners of each of my car doors, and sweep stuff out often ☺️ For me, it's better than just giving up against the never ending kids shoes math 🤪

[@crystaltaylor6129]

Your book was on a stand at our local library supporting minimalism and decluttering this week!

[@pamelasmith8208]

When I don't feel motivated to get my daily house work done I turn on a hoarders show and I'm up cleaning everything within 5 minutes

[@cheerfulmouse]

OCD cleaners 🤪💜

[@maureenwebber3355]

You people who are new to Dana K White you are in for a life changing experience if you follow her system. And she is so funny!

[@temi4116]

Definitely, Maureen. Most definitely!!!

[@georgebricker2224]

Last weekend I started pulling stuff out of the "Save tech because you may need it later section" of the closet. My husband happened to be home. I went in to ask him a couple of times if we really needed something and he usually answered no. Low and behold he got up and joined me in the decluttering. He has been listening to me when I talk about you LOL. The pile is a lot smaller and the closet looks better. It is only one small space but every part counts. Thanks Dana.

[@Lglandorf6]

I am so excited that what you have been telling me for several months now has finally clicked! After cleaning my office/guest room/storage room every time a guest comes, it would go back to a huge mess not long after the guest left. It usually started with a project that got put onto the bed and then it would just multiply. What FINALLY clicked was that the room had too much stuff in it. I have decluttered before but just enough so that every "container" was full. The problem: when a project brought in something new, there was no place to put it. Our friend is coming in 2 days and I have actually been getting rid of a lot of stuff! When I am done, I will have empty spaces here and there and I think it will actually work this time. I love your decluttering steps and questions to ask myself. Thanks, Dana!

[@NJHeart2Heart]

So exciting when something clicks! Good luck! Hope to catch an update some time!

[@j.chayo45]

My 3 sister in laws are coming in July from Arizona. I finally put containers in my pantry it looks so much better. I also finally threw away excess bottles and jars that were old and did not have the space for. Now, every cabinet and the pantry are decluttered. My kitchen feels so wonderful to be in now. Thank you for all your helpful videos.

[@MissDeb-jq6nz]

I really benefit SO MUCH from hearing these explanations OVER AND OVER.... Clutterbug, Minimal Mom and Dana K. White -- the DEFINITIVE TRIFECTA!

[@jenp8501]

I just started doing Laundry Day instead of one load a day and it has changed my life!

[@Conval-wi5eh]

"Favourite tip that comes to mind is: There is no failure. Because better is the goal, you cannot fail if you do anything. And there is something about this mindset shift that it is worth it to do something even if I can’t do it perfectly, even if I don’t know what to do exactly. There is value and it is worth my time to do something. That is huge." This part really struck a cord with me. While listening to this I filled in a wall in our dining room after we fixed an electrical line and installed some lamps. I procrastinated on it a little and was so pleased hearing this when I finally was working on it. It is always worth it to do something, even if you can't do it perfectly. When you come back you have less to deal with and you will be less overwhelmed than you would if you had not done anything. It has been my mantra for a few years now and it not only makes a big difference in getting stuff done but also on a mental level, making me feel good because I did what I could. It gets you up on your feet and going and you don't beat yourself up because you've let things slide and built up.

[@carmenriley-tj4jz]

Your haircut is absolutely adorable!! ❤ Your advice has helped me so much over the last year, and it’s helping my 10 year old slob in training 😅 We are making a positive difference for our family, and I am so thankful I found you!!

[@rdnretiredatlast4918]

I have rage purged and regular purged. I have never regretted it! Use it as fuel to get stuff done. Thank you, Dana for all of your guidance.

[@bethbranson9050]

Good enforcing conversation! Thanks Dana! (Your hair is adorable!!)

[@adz5bneweng589]

Very pretty hair! New cut really makes your curls pop!!

[@grinchy56]

Progress and only progress works. You are awesome and reminders are so helpful. It gets into your brain then re-activated. So good for all situations.

[@arashy]

GREAT reminders! Thanks to Dana I gave 6/7 boxes/bags to charity last week. My house is so much BETTER! 🏆💪

[@cheerfulmouse]

I've done about 5 hours better this week ✔️🤪👍 I unpacked a D.O.O.M. box of decorations. Which was way less than anticipated. Gave them a home in a new gifted large wooden box I didn't really ask for or want, but it actually works really well as a container for how many decorations I think I can keep under control (minus Winter). I caught up on last week's laundry day. And edited some t-shirts, coats, etc. Done the dishes every evening. It's getting pretty automatic 🙌🥂 This process actually has me excited about moving forward 😊🙏 Thank you 💖!

[@A222Z]

For the woman w/ the serman material, if it was me, I would probably everyday read a page or 2. Then anything that is relevant & helpful & inspiring to me now, i would jot down in my journal & get rid of the rest. Time-consuming, but it's how I'm handling a similar situation, & also my own planner/journals. It works for me.

[@SF-ru3lp]

I think I'd do similarly. Sometimes a quick read through will help you make piles of sermons that are more striking than others. G Ire

[@cheerfulmouse]

I was thinking, I'd probably buy a Bible just for this, keep several pages as bookmarks, and make notes about what speaks to me. Then I'd have a special Bible with just hubby's sermons, all tucked together 💖🙏🕊️✝️💜👍✔️

[@vickiuridge3375]

Hi I missed your live so I'm catching up on it now. You are such an inspiration and I love everything about you. Your methods really help with me and I am often saying out loud to myself..where would I look for that first and take it there. Do my dishes every day now and the 5 minute pick up. I suffer with osteoarthritis and other illnesses and this really helps me not beat myself up on my bad days. I listen to your books on audible and your videos while I'm decluttering and it really helps me so a massive thank you 😊😊

[@illandreidelorpha4774]

Just had an idea when I looked at the title of this video. Why don't you add the month and year into the title of the Q&A? When I saw this video my first thought was "when" is this from?

[@Claycat4]

Your hair is beautiful! Maybe a seminary would like to have the sermons and research that the preacher had! That might make his wife feel better about parting with most of it.

[@karatethechaoswithkiki5368]

Agree

[@bookhuggah]

I see the daily 4 as 5 tasks per one of the older podcasts. Floor care in the kitchen, 5m pick ups, tidy the bathroom, and then I separate the dishes into two separate tasks. Dishes done and then dishes put away. I use a grid paper journal to organize my days. It makes making tables/ spreadsheets much easier by hand. I use a couple of pages to make a semi monthly list of things to do, and these are the ones that are in the top five spots. Then tracking mental activity by read minutes, if I write my own stuff, and if I have been creative each day. Then a lot of health tracking things for migraines and body pain and helpers used and then medication and stuff like deep breathing and mindfulness to help, and then a energy map just an arrow drawing for the rollercoaster of each date. Then the chore tracking stuff for everyone else here to remember what I don’t need to do that week.

[@deanieferren]

You look beautiful! Love your hair!!! 😊

[@robinsouthern9904]

For the kitchen question. Consider storing items by task. Ex. Baking items in one cabinet, mixing bowls, measuring cups, cake pans, cookie sheets all stored where you can get to them when you want to bake.

[@kategordon-lee737]

Start..." Make it better" every time you start. My messing house is better every Monday because that is my day to start in a new area.

[@berrypatch5583]

You have helped me so much in better not perfect. I have a natural tendency to want things perfect, even as a 5 year old my teacher told me Brenda you cannot be perfect. I am far from perfect, however I always say do your best. It was what my mother always said to us growing up. Now I tell myself better is better. With 8 children that we home educate, my home cannot be perfect...but it can be better. I now give the little children 5 minute after meals chores and we do not expect finished just better. When doing zone work I make it spotless, but outside of that now my focus is better and mama clean at bedtime when possible.

[@laurar.4484]

I grew up with “just do your best” which I now think is very toxic!

[@sarahwomer4458]

48:17 There IS rage purging. I had been peeling back my layers of clutter and undecided items would end up in garage. I decided to declutter actual garage items to make room. When I picked up a (paint type) can the bottom stuck to the floor and the van was rusty so I pulled it apart and lacquer spread all over my garage floor. Needless to say,I went on a rage purge and threw tons away after that. Another time I went to relocate fluorescent lightbulbs and when I touched them one exploded in my hand. It was easy to trash what I had been indecisive about because it was now covered in glass. I definitely rage purged then too. 😂

[@nnylasoR]

“Only by decluttering, the house will change.” ✨TRUTH.✨ …I knooow… I know, I know, I know. 😩😣😭🥺

[@kariw788]

Shared spaces can be tricky. Especially if it is equally all yours, not a home with a mother who is the boss with her little children but adults who care about their stuff and space. People can get sensitive. You want to focus on your own stuff and not their stuff, but sometimes it is shared stuff and you need to ask, do we want to keep this? You can't tell them what to do.

[@grutarg2938]

Same for work spaces - where different people use it for different purposes.

[@JaneH3675]

I am so glad I don't decorate for seasons or holidays. I don't have to make storage room for that stuff and my home can stay clean and tidy year round. I used to do that but it was very liberating to let it all go a few years ago.

[@SF-ru3lp]

I know what you mean, Jane. We decided against a Christmas tree in order to keep the focus on the crib and a few meaningful decor items. They all fit into 2 medium-sized boxes which is a nice tidy collection not a sprawling pile. I love Dana's approach. G Ire

[@teresabradley]

Wear pink more often! Love the videos!

[@temi4116]

Laughing with you, Dana, frequently, during your podcasts. I know, poor grammar. But dont want to get too proper. If I do, I have less time to declutter . And I dont want that. I love decluttering. Love ya.

[@markieyak1813]

This colour really suits you!!!

[@clusmanfamily1155]

Clutter threshold changes throughout life too. For instance , if I’m working more, clutter threshold goes down. When I have a new a baby, clutter threshold goes down.

[@sherylmccrystal3804]

Hi Dana. I am not a pastor's wife but it seems to me that you gave great advice to the pastor’s widow. ❤

[@mariamacdonald1007]

You look beautiful and full of joy!

[@angielovett4159]

Your haircut is super cute! Always great advice, and I love your ‘lives’. Though I’m still struggling getting started 😬

[@marthabinder4899]

YOU LOOK FABULOUS WITH YOUR SHORT HAIR. Your mascara is perfect. I can’t seem to find any that truly separates and lengthens without clumping.

[@girlonaswing9439]

100% that if someone is coming over I clean crazy places they will never see.

[@lisaholderby3031]

I agree…your hair is super cute. In fact, I thought I had an old episode cause you look younger 😊

[@harrietlovejoy3424]

I too, like your hair cut! Very Cute. I asked the “which book should I buy first?” Question wasn’t about cost or affording them. The question was centered on which book focuses on the start of a decluttering journey. I’m sooo out of control , so which book should I start with? Is there one of your books to start with? I’ve watched many, many of your videos and identify with your message. I ended up getting the Speed of Life and Without Losing your Mind. Thank you for sharing your insight on the internet! I’m hoping it changes my life!

[@greatauntlizbethg9137]

I haven't read them but I think speed of life is the starting place from what Dana has said.

[@RealityIsStrangerThanFiction]

I definitely experience the rage purging. I need to be in the right frame of mind to pitch things left and right. I just go with the trend that my mind is in for that moment. Sometimes I just can’t do it, so I accept those times when I don’t make progress. I have experienced this ebb and flow so many times, and I just ride each wave

[@melindafalls1227]

Your hair is so cute! I love it

[@jillbruce3624]

Great post and your hair is so cute!!!!

[@cmriordan]

Rage purging! Yes that’s a thing Lol. My husband would literally get fed up and set fire to junk on the farm that his hoarder dad couldn’t get rid of. And if it didn’t burn it got smashed so you couldn’t justify saving it. He still would catch his dad pulling garbage out of his scrap pile. 🤦‍♀️

[@lanach6456]

Rage purge is definitely a thing in my house. I wish my husband would do it more often. 😁

[@SF-ru3lp]

Lovely length of hair on you, Dana! Am re-setting my kitchen as I listen 😃 G Ire

[@amywodarski8203]

@SusieFrederick - your local historical society might be interested in your husband’s sermons and research.

[@debrabowie5141]

Cleaning, feeling hot, sweaty, dirty, and dusty!

[@vivr662]

When it comes to holiday decor I try to look on it as temporary rather than something I need to keep forever. I budget for it in the same way I would if it was flowers ie. to be thrown away at the end of its season. If it is really pretty I might put it away to use again but I try not to be attached to it.

[@greatauntlizbethg9137]

As a lot of it is plastic may I ask that you donate it if convenient so it can be used by others before it ends up in landfill? I had way too much Xmas stuff as I would rotate the color theme and keep it all, so I'm not preaching from a place of better practice, just requesting.

[@lindsaywaistell9912]

? You need to tell us about your curls I need to know your hair routine. I love your curls

[@christinegomes3030]

Where would I look first for school supplies? The Dollar Store, LOL. Donate, let the store organize for you.

[@BarbarellaLego]

I am awesome at projects to😢 working on supporting my brain.

[@shelly7835]

What the person who wants to burn🔥 it all down wants is to burn the mess and embarrassment that goes with it. 5 steps👣 is like the five matches to light your way to a more peaceful existence and environment.

[@sherryt9318]

You look fantastic!

[@Myeverydaywifelife]

Oh darn I missed the live!

[@nnylasoR]

As did I… Whoops! (And hi again! haha ♥️)

[@karatethechaoswithkiki5368]

Maybe she could donate the sermons to some museum or library related to that denomination.

[@kristinpetersen5709]

You look super cute love the hair❤️

[@SK-jp2ok]

You forgot to add to your title “Author, superstar, leader, hero…” lol

[@ramonawhitten9273]

Help. I am overwhelmed and sleepy and no energy and I..just...can't...i have a small 2 bedroom one bath trailer with black mold in the add on laundry/ mudroom..i have a catio front porch- my happy place with christmas lights all year..But then i have no linen closet, no cleaning closet, no place for brooms and sweepers and vacuums; i pile up stuff on the coffee table and around me on the couch. everywhere there's stuff. i got ur book on kindle- and i got cassandra arsen's books. i am depressed- i don't want to cook for myself or even shower daily- my tub is my dirty laundry bin. stuff on the floor, on every flat surface, stacked up, and on top of the hutch and on top of fridge....please help. i feel like i just can't.

[@selah5792]

What podcast?

[@MegOfBroccoli]

Where did the wig head go? She's not behind you. 😭☺️

[@jonelledavenport8701]

Your 💅 😍

[@margaret4078]

This is such a business. Anytime I watch Dana, the first thing she does is to hawk a product or something she's selling. Notice her book is behind her here. First thing out of her mouth is about the coaches at different rates. One website STARTS the help offered at Multiple hundreds of dollars....Yeah, I bought the book but I see her marketing. It's over the top for me and I've stopped tuning in to her videos....

[@almondtree2011]

Margaret, I feel compelled to answer because I hear your upset and I just want to tell you that it’s ok to let go of what no longer serves you. Also, to make it easier you could try to put yourself in Dana’s shoes - that is her work, that is her business and of course she needs to do some marketing for it. It’s part of the job. Frankly, she gives away so much for free, no need to sign up for courses and you can get both books and ebooks from a library for free. To be honest, I didn’t even “hear” the marketing parts because I was so focused on other things she talks about, that I literally must’ve paid attention 😅 I certainly didn’t feel sold to. I think the problem for most of us that in the past we often felt conned by big companies with huge marketing budgets to buy stuff we didn’t get value from in the first place. We may have felt taken advantage of as we lost money but didn’t get value. But it’s different if you do get genuine value out of something. I think everyone deserves to get paid for the work they do, as long as there a demand for it, that is if there’s someone wanting that product. Why expect that they’ll give it away for free? How will they then pay their own bills, save up for the house or holiday they want to buy? It’s a fair deal to sell something and get money for it. Some people, like Dana also offer it for free, which I think is very generous. Of course, if you’re triggered by the marketing because maybe you’re trying not to spend any extra money at the moment, it will be better for you to stay away from this content. Maybe you could even generate some positive emotion and be thankful because maybe you got something of value for free! Also, Margaret, I do recommend a book about money mindset that may be able to help you make peace with your emotions about spending money, materialism etc. it’s called “Rich Dad. Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki. I know you didn’t ask for any advice but your question makes me feel that you have some unresolved issues around money or wealth. I don’t want to make any assumptions about you but perhaps you come from a less privileged background, like many of us, and struggle to embrace the idea that it’s possible and perfectly ok to be wealthy and it’s not an immoral thing as such (although some rich people can make it look like it). Anyway, I’m wishing you very best on your decluttering journey and hopefully it will bring you more peace and clarity, like it has done for me and many others.

[@julianskinner3697]

❤Um you know you can skip ahead right?

[@nuryn1812]

Dear Dana, I“m from Germany and following you a few years. I wanted to say thank you. Now I can say that your Tips and Methods was absolute gamechanging and My home went from chaos to mostly Organized . I wanted to recommend your podcast and your book … it’s really a method that actual work in real life 💕 even if you don’t love cleaning and organizing 😬 I swear 🤌🏼