Decluttering Q&A

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04.21: What should I do, when the first spot, that pops up in mind, is for almost everything the same drawer (or cabinet etc.)- so this place get really full while the drawer near it stays completely empty.
10.03: Your five steps to decluttering in non-confrontational. What do you do when someone is always confrontational about everything and the things that are confrontational are trash.
20.29: What if you answer the 1st question with, "I would look for this box of wrapping paper tissue in my basement next to the Christmas boxes." The problem with this answer a good place for it.
25.47: I wonder if you have any tips for decluttering and tidying w/kids. I haven't taught them to declutter and am struggling myself. We struggle to let go of anything. My two kids are even collecting.
29.31: My home is so full that even though there are established homes for things, I have made than the container fits. So when I come across a water bottle not trash or duh donation take it there now.
37.15: How many years has it taken you to get to this point?
39.44: ​​what to do when you feel overwhelmed ?????
41.06: What about stuffed animals that way exceed the “container” but the child is not willing to accept the container.
43.05: Does your family embrace this process? How long did it take to get them on board?
44.16: ?????My teenage son has a learning disability and wants to keep everything. How can I approach decluttering with him?
45.54: ​​??? I like my matching mugs but my husband tends to use the odd color mugs. I'm torn. Do I buy mugs to match his odd ones & let go of mine? i like matching mugs period.
47.17: ​​?? We have a military move coming up in 2-3 months. suggestions for fast tracking the decluttering process or where to start?? Movers will pack all the stuff. I just need to declutter.
48.48: ?? sometimes ladies in my life talk down about young people trying to live differently ( simpler and more minimal). how have you responded to outside criticism?
51.03: Working through no motivation. Feeling overwhelmed?
51.39: Every shelf/cupboard I empty my husband refills with his stuff? Suggestions to prevent this?
53.39: How did you and Dawn and Cass hook up? Who reached out first?
55.02: ?? How do I get past my own road blocks? I’m ADHD and structure is suffocating. I’m also someone who doesn’t like being told what to do.
57.30: My question is every time I donate stuff before I donate it. My daughter wants to look through it and ends up taking stuff her house. Help I don't know what to do.
58.39: ​​is there a place where one can find accountability buddies for helping each other declutter?

[@janetsiddoway]

My little artist was also saving "trash" for future art project. When the "container" was full, I declared a creativity day. She completed the project and after a while was ready get rid of it.

[@paigeniler8494]

When I was younger, I collected candy wrappers for months to use for a future project. My parents were concerned, but hesitantly allowed it. I was very attached to the wrappers, but once I completed my art project, I threw the rest away without any attachment at all. Now as an adult, I understand their concern but I appreciate that they trusted me and let me make the decision.

[@sarahk758]

Brilliant idea 💡 going to do this with my son. A creativity day for half finished things!

[@RethaMitchell]

When I was a kid there was a particular brand of gum wrapper the kids were collecting. They were making a chain out of them. They didn't have to collect a lot at a time. They would add what they had to the chain, when they had time.

[@terridewolf4353]

I did this and made a garland for our Christmas tree I collected every one else's as well lol❤ the memories

[@poephila]

Love it. I used to be that kid, I wish my parents had done something similar with me! My room was always a complete mess!

[@karenf8470]

Not directly related to this video but a result of watching regularly, Dana: I discovered something broken in a closet when looking for something else today. Worth fixing but not right then. It only hit me -- as I headed toward the dedicated spot where DIY projects go to die here -- that it was a simple fix so, why not? A dyed-in-the-wool procrastinator, I'd never have given that little "doohickey" a second thought except for your influence. Took one minute. Thanks, Dana!

[@laurahoman7083]

"RUTH" is regret, grief, misery, sorrow. The verb, "RUE" as in "You will rue the day you crossed me, Batman!" means to regret or to experience sorrow, grief, etc. "RUTHLESS" is without regret, sorrow, grief, etc. Declutter ruthlessly!!! 🙂

[@terryruiz7417]

No matter how often I listen to you, I always learn something new. Great explanation of how to lead someone else through the process. Thank you!

[@FisherOfMen705]

Fumbles and hiccups in life and in your live videos are just fun and helps us to know you're not perfect and more authentic like the rest of us, and doesn't affect the value of the content. Thank you again Dana!

[@grutarg2938]

Showing you are not perfect adds value. It makes it easier to connect.

[@kimking3466]

I am new, and I commented on another video that I am great at organizing, but not decluttering. After watching a few of your videos, I was totally motivated, but didn't know where to start. I decided to start with the stuff I see every day that drives me nuts. In this video, I heard you stay "deal with the most visible stuff first". After more videos, I have started on the drawers that I can't stand to look in because of the amount of stuff in them. I am on a roll now. Thanks so much!

[@annlink8265]

"Don't say it like a daughter" Ha ha! I heard the tone before you even did it!

[@kimmeeks6766]

😂🤣

[@maws1113]

This trick has helped my ADHD brain (that’s almost 60yo) - I keep a “Where Is It?” list in the Notes app on my phone. Mainly for things that we rarely need and/or that my husband might ask for. Not in conflict with WWILFT1st, but as a complimentary tool so my poor brain doesn’t have to try to keep up.

[@maryjohnson-xk4pm]

Just did this now. Great idea! Thanks!

[@cheerfulmouse]

I do this for some things! I've been using EverNote for years, at the recommendation from a group I joined called STEP. (side note many in there rave about Dana, and I couldn't bring myself to learn anything else helpful for far too long) I particularly love my Notes for meetings/Shopping lists (grocery,thrift)/Kids clothes,shoes we have. When I pack up clothes I think will be used for the next kid, I make a list in my needs or thrift for what was missing. So if I'm at a store or someone asks if we need something, I can just look on my phone, no matter where in the world I am 😁

[@olivemaycards]

For the military move person: I learned from watching Erica Lucas videos that military movers will pack everything even if it’s literally trash. And if you have a disorganized mess they will pack boxes of disorganized mess, very frustrating when you try to find and put away things at your new home. Good luck with the decluttering! It will pay off :)

[@carabenfield4240]

I love Erica Lucas! Watching her struggle and finally succeed has been inspirational. I'm just now gaining the confidence to begin any of this. I just enrolled in the Take Your House Back course.

[@Duckies1023]

“I don’t like being told what to do.” “Ok, great. Read the book.” -Dana LOL 😂❤

[@itsmekimmielc]

I made mistake of decluttering my husband's stuff instead of him deciding about the things. Trust was definitely lost!! So, it took weeks/months of me leaving his things alone and only decluttering my things and mutual stuff (like kitchen). Slowly I would lead him through the process but it has been much harder since trust was lost at the beginning. Your take on how to help others is terrific and i wish i had known it sooner.

[@carabenfield4240]

I truly empathize... 🙏

[@lucystrider728]

me too!

[@distaff2935]

While my husband keeps his things relatively clean and organized, he IS a hoarder. I would never dream of touching any of it - would be the end of our marriage, but I so hate the amount of crap we live with.

[@MrDavey16]

I never knew I needed the definition of “ruth” until I now

[@jenniferpearce1052]

I 100% have the same question as the lady with the wrapping paper. There are certain things that cannot be stored in my basement because of our damp climate. As a storage area, I have to ensure it's an item that can't get moldy. I learned this by stuff getting ruined in the first place I would look for them.

[@laurat7324]

Would a dehumidifier help in the basement? It helped us.

[@jenniferpearce1052]

@@laurat7324 I have one and it helps, but I don't have a good place to have it auto drain, so I have to empty the bucket regularly. Life gets busy and then things get damp.

[@SF-ru3lp]

Brilliant explanation of avoiding confrontation with a person who is defensive. Great demonstration of not needing to finish any step before proceeding to the next one. I've got it! Very useful skill/ awareness. Thank you. G Ire

[@avanellehansen4525]

Yes. The TV show Hoarders is so emotional and painful to watch.

[@jennymayd716]

@Dana Ruthful, meaning merciful or full of sorrow, can be found back to the 13th century in English. Ruthless, meaning having no compassion or pity, goes back to the 14th century. Interestingly, the word "ruth" is related to the very old Germanic verb "rue." Rue means to affect with sorrow or to grieve.

[@gracieofgod8899]

My solution to having an overflowing drawer next to an empty drawer was to organize the items. The ones I use the most stayed in my go to drawer. The lesser used items went in the next drawer. On the rare occasions when I look for the seldom used items, I don’t mind opening two drawers in order to find what I am looking for. Meanwhile, it is very easy to find the more frequently used items in the first drawer.

[@diannerogers8707]

Just took tree down! Taking a break to watch you Dana! I turned 65 yesterday! So happy I found you three. Very taxing on me physically, but doing a project, then resting! Thank you for getting me motivated. I have you from my phone on TV......blasting!!! My husband is even getting into it! ♥️♥️♥️

[@diannerogers8707]

My Decluttering has even inspired my adult daughter at her house! ❤️

[@supergran1000]

I'm 67. Better late than never for both of us, Dianne! 🥰

[@shadowprovesunshine]

Happy birthday!

[@sarahk758]

Happy birthday!! My husband gets into it now too. I’ll take my phone around with me while watching Dana and decluttering. Now hubby will say, ‘OHHHH IS THAT DANA K. WHITEEEEEE?! Tell her, Dana! Tell her like it is!!!’ Lol. Hope this year is a wonderful year for you!

[@tricianokes3878]

aaAAaaA--__\\_\-\\

[@daniellescrochet]

The take it there now mentality has changed me to a just do it now mindset. Cause I know if I just do it now, I'll never have to think about that thing again. It's actually less work than ignoring that thing 10-15 different times. I used to think, oh I need to put that away, but not right now, repeat for months.

[@kathyewing6731]

“Ruth” used to mean mercy or compassion. There was even the word “ruthful,” meaning compassionate, or full of ruth. You’re welcome.

[@granitemoss1451]

Hunh. Makes sense when you consider the word 'ruthless'.

[@jeme7339]

Does this refer to the Biblical Ruth?

[@mikel2044]

Thank you…this is the first Christmas that my home was presentable even though I was in the middle of decorating for the holidays. Your helpful hint of “take it there now” made a huge difference in the way my home worked during the holiday season. Keep teaching…it is making a difference.

[@HomesteadingChicks]

I just did the water bottle thing. My kiddo bought me another one for Christmas. The bin is full already. So we sat down and looked at what is hard to wash or what is down in the bottom. Got rid of 4 and made room for the new one.

[@BlessedJess]

You are so patient and helpful. I have been listening to your podcast for years and years. I love your heart! ❤

[@laurahazel6884]

For the Jerry White question when the husband refills with his stuff? Dana/ Minimal Mom has a great solution - she fills the empty space on empty shelves with clear boxes or containers so it looks full, and there is no room for extra clutter.

[@beverlyrussell8034]

She mentioned this when she said, "a friend of mine," but she didn't identify Dawn.

[@janethunt4037]

Thank you for taking the time to answer questions. It's very helpful to hear how the concepts apply in real life.

[@GoingGreenMom]

Lol, I love how honest you are about your teenagers. As a teenager Mom too, I totally relate to that. I just found you in the last couple years, and my 19 yo has fought the decluttering over the years for several reasons (I started in 2007 or 2008), but slowly but surely we are getting his space decluttered and systems set up so it is more functional since I found you. 10 minutes a couple times a week.

[@teriegoodmiller6243]

Oh my goodness. I do keep wrappers and labels and boxes and anything that I can cut desirable pieces off of and store in a Ziploc bag or five for craft projects. I do see value in them lol you read my mind!

[@SF-ru3lp]

I'm in Ireland too!🤗 Great to hear that there's another Irish fan of yours, Dana. G Ire (SF is my husband's email/phone reg)

[@NJHeart2Heart]

THIS was fantastic instruction for helping others! I'm saving this where it is easy access!

[@alison8843]

Nothing to do with decluttering, just wanted to say how gorgeous your curls are looking 😊

[@cheerfulmouse]

Correct! I love it when your 'live's' are all wonky, and we're figuring stuff out as we go!! Actually, it does fit my life 😅 I'm listening on 3/4 speed, so I can have encouragement while focusing on MY tasks, but also not have to listen so intently as to stop what I'm working on.

[@KatieCat77]

OMG Dana. I love that you eat those Belvita biscuits too! I now feel I identify with you infinitely more. I often have those wrappers on my desk and have to throw them away when I am tidying.

[@stephanied6711]

I love the oat ones

[@leesbees9412]

I always ♥️ hearing U live. As U answer other people's questions my own questions/ ways are answered/improved. Less inventory is part of my life. Decluttering w/Ur method + compassion 4 my previous ways is working. It's changes my way at looking at my life (4 the best) 😀 Thanx + New Year blessings to U and Urs.

[@cheerfulmouse]

47:45 - Then said Bo’az [a high rate of movement] unto Rut [friendship], Hear youi not, my daughter? Go not to glean in another field, neither go from hence, but abide here fast by my maidens: Ruth 2:8 NMV Ruth apparently means friendship. Totally appropriate use of the word 😅

[@ExtraordinaryMachine333]

No one watches a Live Stream for perfection. You're doing great! A couple of questions about the hoarder situation (you might have covered these previously and I haven't watched those videos/read that info yet) 1.) I know not everyone can afford professional help, but OCD behaviors like hoarding typically are "above the paygrade" of the normal family member and need professional help, whether that's therapy, medication, etc. The decluttering is just a band-aid on a hemhorrage if the reason behind the hoarding isn't addressed, and some people are never going to see trash as non-useful. Why wasn't that mentioned if the process above doesn't work? What is your usual recommendation for situations that need mental health assistance? 2.) I love that you walked the daughter through how to non-confrontationally help her Mom declutter, but ultimately any kind of change can trigger confrontation. It's so hard to help someone else do what they don't want to do. How do you ensure that you don't overstep boundaries helping someone else declutter (asking for me helping AND being helped declutter). Thanks for doing these videos!

[@ExtraordinaryMachine333]

Ooh, fantastic response on the stuffed animal question! Great way to think about it

[@kristikeast1728]

Ah Hah! Separate de-cluttering from organizing! This helps me a lot. De-clutter first. Thanks!

[@suzer77539]

Thank you for teaching us how to read the blog backwards! I'm so excited. You're so awesome .... I've just started Dana K. White-ing it! Things are already changing!

[@cherylgrover2848]

This is awesome information! I have two elderly parents with lots of things. I wish I had these tools many years ago. Thank you so much!

[@debbiev.1311]

Another great Live...caught 2nd half as Live & first half here on replay...thank you!! ❤🤗

[@auntlizzy1308]

🤯 My problem is too many things are vagabonds. Maps, old photos, batteries, repair projects, lightbulbs, shoestrings, spray paint, unfinished projects, the gift I bought too early and had to replace because I lost it, garden seeds from last year,…..I need someone else to tell me the best place to store things! I recently ran across unfinished dresses for my (then 3 & 4 yr old) daughters who are now 39 and 40. I’ve moved 5 times since then 😔

[@julsmorgan78]

Hi, I had kind of similar… maybe work on just grouping like things together once you’ve done “trash donate & where”. I did it with tape measures…. Picked a spot where one already was and then just kept putting them all in the same place as I found them… ended up realising I like to keep one in the kitchen drawer and low and behold that one always goes back there and the others are in the tool chest. Did the same concept in my dads shed… I just saw he had a few jars of bolts etc on one shelf so as I found more bolts and screws and nails they just migrated to that spot. I showed up one day and he’d started a screwdriver box off his own bat. And once he was working with the groupings he actually decided to shift things around to suit. You’ll find that once all of the group is together then the right place will come to you. Esp as space is freed up and you can move things or decide to reduce the volume of the group. The unfinished projects - I totally hear you. Just tub it together, and then put the projects together - if you can’t be bothered finding a box or tub for it then you can prob let it go. The trick is to NOT leave it in plastic bags etc cause then it’s clutter. As you gather the projects together to “do after you declutter” you’ll probably start to declutter some of them just as you see them all together and subconsciously rank them.

[@olivemaycards]

If you follow Dana’s process the best place to store things is where you would go looking for them first. No one else’s “best place” is going to work for you unless it’s the place *you* would go looking to find the items when you need them. If you wouldn’t actually look for them in your house (because you didn’t know you had them) you may as well donate/trash them.

[@LorreneRomanic]

I really needed this video right now. Especially the part with the Belvida wrapper improv! I'll need these skills when helping my dad at his house.

[@reneel2502]

Thank you so much for a full hour!!

[@GGiblet]

I'm decluttering again and these streams y'all do give me energy, thanks so much 🌻

[@lindamakela8510]

Thank you for these videos. Very helpful. There are different methods of decluttering and organizing; I take a bit from each and it works for me. "Where would I look for this first"!!

[@Jo-hello]

You’re the best Dana ❤ every time I learn something new. Thankyou xx

[@katherinep1010]

I really appreciate you going all the way through with the food wrapper. My family (8yo, 5yo, and husband) always look at me like I've grown a second head when I ask where they'd look for something though. They can never give me an answer and seem to get mad that I even asked the question. I don't know what to do there.

[@bethmiller6827]

Try, "Where do you think it should be?".

[@grutarg2938]

Or "where do you keep your wrappers?"

[@leighmacbeth3795]

That is probably because the answer is " I would ask you where it was". Not speaking for everyone's household, but in mine (husband and 2 older teen boys) that would definitely be the answer I got. 🤷‍♀️

[@victoriafreke6751]

Dana you are awesome. So helpful and inspiring X

[@reginadellavecchia8749]

Oooh, that’s a really good color top on you, Dana. Thank you, for all you do. Happy, healthy new year. 🎉♥️🎊

[@nanouminai]

ruthless (adj.) early 14c., reutheles, "pitiless, merciless, devoid of compassion," from reuthe "pity, compassion" (see ruth) + -less. Ruthful "pitiable, lamentable, causing ruth" (c. 1200) has fallen from use since late 17c. except as a deliberate archaism, perhaps in part because it had a conflicting sense of "compassionate, tender-hearted, full of ruth." Ruthness "compassion, pity" (early 14c.) died even younger. Related: Ruthlessly; ruthlessness.

[@debrabowie5141]

Live and Learn!

[@kimmeeks6766]

Dana, I love your hair ❤️

[@greatauntlizbethg9137]

An aged client said 'no, we need to keep this eclipse mint tin. I keep them for collecting seeds' I asked 'r u sure? We collected these cereal boxes of eclipse tins and medicine bottles before, remember?. Do you need more?' A slow smile spread across his face, 'clever girl' he said as he tossed it in the Rubbish.

[@naturenutty2]

"what does ruth mean, I know what ruthless means, but..." It's like you're in my brain. HAHA

[@emilybell8219]

Thank you!

[@lindamusser7370]

I've watched Hoarders for a long time. Trash is usually their biggest problem.

[@stephanied6711]

I printed out some printables at work lol

[@katrinalikethehurricane1]

ruth /ro͞oTH/ noun ARCHAIC noun: ruth a feeling of pity, distress, or grief. Interesting that the word "ruthless" is commonly used in our language, but not ruth🤔

[@annblachly8068]

Ruth = Pity, compassion. Ruthless, without pity or compassion.

[@angelascott8173]

What do you do when you have adult children and grandchildren live with you and your house is full of stuff but only about 15% of it belongs to you?

[@Andi.Plans2]

Lol, i had to Google…. Minute 47:47 The opposite of ruthless is ruthful 😅 who knew!?!?!!?! It can mean tender or full of sorrow 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@lindamusser7370]

I leave empty boxes as "placeholders" because junk abhors a vacuum.

[@luciefecteau1055]

What is the drawer thing is about, I did understand the meaning at all.??

[@kennethbailey9853]

THANKYOU

[@sarahbotha8090]

lol, military girl who said they packed the trash ☺☺☺

[@jeme7339]

Is the term referencing the Biblical Ruth?

[@kristinpetersen5709]

??Hi, are the videos in the Take Back group made specifically for the group each year??

[@laurehancock1334]

The core curriculum videos were made in 2019 I think. The course launched in Jan 2020. The course is continually expanded as all of the live videos they create for the group are added and also the all day declutters. They each also did a mini course which is available within the course. Highly worth the money. I continue to renew for $10 a year.

[@charlotte316]

I joined last year and the course has been helpful for me. I found it was worth the price. Dana, loved how you walked another through the process in a non-confrontational way!

[@MissTiffanyK1]

Yes, the videos are made specifically for the group/course. There's course content ready when you join, then new videos are added almost weekly!

[@avanellehansen4525]

First question at 6 minutes.

[@RethaMitchell]

Ruthless, meaning having no compassion or pity, goes back to the 14th century. Interestingly, the word "ruth" is related to the very old Germanic verb "rue." Rue means to affect with sorrow or to grieve. This seems to be controversial, sigh, academics.

[@illandreidelorpha4774]

(About 25 minutes in.) I didn't like how you answered the question when the lady changed where she put something and couldn't remember where it went. Sounds like she has a big desire to rehome the useful and forgotten stuff from her garage into her living spaces. And you basically told her to give up. Yes getting rid of more stuff is always the basis. What about people who need to know what is next?. We decide if a new place is necessary and if we believe that is is then we need to prioritize changing the thinking. Make a new habit. And I think you could have been more supportive of the person's journey instead of saying go back to step 1 after one mishap.