Deep Dive into Trauma and how it affects YOUR life !trauma !guide !team

[@MommyMoments855]

I have cptsd, it took a long time to untangle the mess. It presented as anxiety disorder and depression when I was 16 and then I got diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago when I turned 20. Trauma influences every aspect of your life, you start people pleasing, you start losing your own personality and identity to become a more accepted and likeable person, just so you can maintain the superficial relationship with a parent. You become ashamed and deeply affected by your failure and feel unlovable when you make mistakes. You rely heavily on the approval and acceptance of others, just to feel good enough. You are hyperaware of the moods and needs of others and deny your own needs and wants to accomodate theirs. You don't know who you are or what you want in life. You become a perfectionist with an inability to start something and deadly afraid of making choices. You are so afraid of people abandoning you and think that even small mistakes could lead to that. You start to dissociate, you get burned out quick. Nightmares invade your sleep and you become a tired hypervigilant mess. All this because the world wasn't safe for you and the people that needed to protect you didn't. It's not your fault

[@Malery]

Hi Mommy. Hope you're doin' good.👖

[@Sh0n0]

Hell yeah amigo, thats right

[@MommyMoments855]

@@Malery hope I don't turn into a cool guy. Keep em high and tight ❤️

[@pinkeyes5881]

I needed to hear this today. Thank you.

[@Iudicatio]

I experience most of these things but I never lived through anything that bad. I certainly don't have nightmares about anything that happened in the past. It is confusing.

[@antor2471]

“kindness is going beyond what people deserve”

[@marko112kg]

“…use every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping?” Hamlet

[@julietijerina8176]

I've had a recent realization that self-sabotage is self-abandonment. It's abandoning ourselves to our circumstances, our traumas, and our stress. Every time we choose the "fuck it" response, we are abandoning ourselves. Sabotage is planning out a negative outcome. That hardly ever happens. We don't start our day meticulously planning how we'll screw something up. More often, we just get overwhelmed and hit the "fuck it" button and toss ourselves to the tide. The solution is to self-partner and get on our own side. Be a true friend to ourselves and be self-compassionate with our responses. Like, just take a beat and ask yourself, "what is the outcome I'd prefer here?" And do THAT.

[@hollyrruns]

Exactly this. It's the other form of abuse: neglect.

[@ayemiksenoj5254]

I absolutely love this idea!! I'm in this weird middle place where "I know." I can see and feel it. But, I can't actualize it for myself in a truly helpful or productive way out in the world or really with other people. I wish.. believing in myself and my dreams wasn't so hard. I wish I could calm down and believe I'm going to get this and do great things outside of just thinking about it. I wish... I had one person to just come alongside me and push me out of myself just a little bit.. because I am in that place. Just like a little child, needing that reassurance, that extra hand or small push. How do you give that to yourself?

[@Robertsmith-un5cu]

such a tragedy

[@black_sheep_nation]

Love how you articulated this, bro. ❤❤

[@wendy645]

❤

[@sammarks9146]

On nature being mentally healthy - Lao Tzu said, "Nature does not rush, yet everything is accomplished." It's healing to see an ecosystem just *exist* for the sake of existing. Keeps our own lives in perspective.

[@julietardos5044]

What's going on in the lives of those 40% of kids who have no trauma in their lives? Is anyone studying the absence of trauma in childhood? I think that would help parents and schools do a better job of parenting and teaching!

[@briannagravely9349]

The real pathology that needs to be studied!

[@rsh793]

Regulated parent and healthy attachment - starts from the whole moment after birth - doesn't have to be the mum either. Yes you're right, it does tend to have to be parents who are also secure in their own attachment etc. The best time to break the cycle is to interject before the person who needs to learn learns before they get pregnant so that they can give that straight to the baby - some research even suggests prior to birth as well!

[@apollodavis4090]

Its also possible for some people to be very resilient. They might just recover from trauma very quickly if its not too severe

[@blackfrost273industries4]

Honestly, not to create an echo chamber or contribute if I can help it. We have a slew of people that have not had things very hard in life. We have things where spanking was not given. I know someone that has not had physical punishment growing up. They have a great deal of mental issues. They family has told me they had great grades growing up. Went to band and choir and excelled. Went to uni and gone through almost all of college for specifically counselling. Wanting to make a difference. Mentally was going down hill the entire time from high school on. Had friends and was not bullied. Mentally, I think, as with others that I have heard from in my conservative circles is that we need tough love. For instance here in the bible belt, there is ecclesiastical verses about time and place. When we are toddlers, punishment is how we communicate. When we start to get reason capacity, the punishment will turn to consequences, like timeout, or even better, to go apologize and do things to held mend what I have done. Theory forming is that if you are never spanked while trying to learn how the world works, thinking, and communicate, etc. then you have a distorted perspective of how the world works. Then there is hypersensitivity that develops. Then you end up with situations on a train to work, the guy made a comment to me about how I look. It becomes blown out of proportion emotionally and a rush of thoughts event occurs. This could be for both sexes, and even more rough if the person is hypersensitive and feels like they deserve to be like the rest of society and have punishment or trauma at a base level subconsciously, then they get close to being victimized or fully victimized (based on putting themselves in a situation where trauma starts to occur and leaves ooorr they stay for the duration of trauma to end to "experience and earn". Just to give context, not a black and white thing and why does it make sense to stay in a traumatic situation is another situation but personally I can answer that for myself and how I can understand other answers) but when they get close to negativity or real trauma, then it's compounded and the worst thing to experience and how does the world survive, how can I move on and un-aliving comes into the picture super hard...I mean, something that makes a mentalogical amount of sense. I mean this is looking at myself, talking with numerous other people in my area and it is surprisingly high ratio of how many people have mentioned abusive childhoods to me as a casual layperson in conversation. I will say, again for context, I worked in fast food for 5+ years, retail at a tool store for several, manufacturing for some as well. These may be common areas for individuals of this demographic. Which is what it is. It's not good, or bad, right? It is what it is, we have data, a ratio, and a name to reference it and now we can continue to gain more data to have a trackable solution to find a root cause and if there is any. The goal is helping people and to help teach history of maybe what happened to others? If all of this happened because of Dr. Spock, I think we would want data as accurate, peer-reviewed, asap to help curb his, or any event/persons input to help future people a d moreover, provide more validation and accurate help to those dealing with it now. By no means am I saying it's anyone's fault like Dr. Spock. It could also be the fact the way society addresses media and that we haven't had a world war in a long time as well. That was also a form of consequence and eay-of-life thing. There seems to be, sooo many variables and ideas. What I have learned from the super hard movements like females that think feminism is about women ruling the world and men are inferior instead of feminism being defined as egalitarianism, be slow to be emotionally invested in what I learn, and to be open minded to see how things play out. The longer I wait, the more I learn. The smarter I sound. 😉😊. Maybe that helps, hopefully, it doesn't overwhelm people to give up reading or something. It's a lot, I'm thinking that I'm not complicating the world (as I've heard told to me), I'm understanding the complexity of the world.😂

[@leahtheanimationfan40]

​@@professionalpainthuffermy partner grew up in a healthy and fuctional household. His parents are still married and they love each other. He said the hardest thing he's been through was making the decision to drop out of college. He works hard at his full time job and is one of the most relied-on on his team. And he's very responsible with everything. Great at regulating his emotions. Although, he also seems to not feel emotions strongly. He might be on the autism spectrum like me.

[@ghostinshellshock]

please do release this workshop on KZbin. we don't all have easy time finding info about ACTUAL STUFF YOU NEED TO DO TO GET THERE. if its not popular in comparison with other vids its still important for many. we can't all just go to therapy.

[@dinckelman]

The more I listen to topics like this, the more I start to believe that humans evolved way beyond what they are physiologically designed to do. Our entire mind just collapses under pressure, because we're designed to have do or die responses, but we're trying to project them onto daily life, which always feels like a do or die situation, in 2023. Ancient people didn't have an endless towering presence of taxes over their head. Once you kill that danger, it was gone

[@fkhan2006]

exactly! we are using our intelligence to survive in super Unnatural ways

[@Hexanitrobenzene]

Yeah, the software in our mind was not designed for the modern environment...

[@blauespony1013]

Taxes have been around for at least 5,000 years (Egyptians are the first to have it documented). I think smart phones and the huge amount of info (especially catastrophic headlines, because they sell better) are a lot more damaging. The pace of life, of travel, of work ...

[@mordecaiissad8529]

I think this was an issue since forever. I always thought the biggest "proof" this struggle was always wide spread is that that basically every religion ever considered ending your own life as the worst thing you can do ever. We are more aware now and arguably live better than any humans before us. However capitalism and our general sense of wanting to be decent humans wrecks us in modern age with all the information available. Id also argue we are the first generations (gen x- millennials and younger) where we are mostly expected to go through this without abusing substances other than caffeine.if you look back, previous generations were heavily using all kinds of things and nursing addictions oblivious to their adverse effects. On top of that the information we have available now, it's a lot harder to put your head down and push through when for example you know MC Donald's make over 14 billion in profit last year while you as one of their workers is barely surviving while working all day. We are also generations heavily "burdened" with ethics and responsibilities. I'm in social sciences and it's fascinating to read about earlier developments in fields that basically looked like people throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. Hell over half the stuff done in the 70s and 80s have 0 chance of being done today due to our commitment to ethics, responsibility and care. A lot of these aren't bad things, we just have A LOT to figure out for the first time and we can't really rely on many past experiences of our ancestors. Because no, dad can't get drunk and snack everyone around because hes having a rough go at life.

[@whisped8145]

1:05:30 Another realization when it becomes very serious is: "If I can do this, I can do literally anything else, because I have nothing to lose anymore. I am free, because I have the power to end it all at any moment." - That works for life-situations like living in an abusive home, it doesn't as much for chronic physical pain. The latter you have to learn to "walk with the pain" until you reach the breaking point that is long past the breaking point you believe to be the breaking point.

[@secondstar101]

Massage therapist here. During training (circa 2007) our instructors advised us of stored emotion in the body. Over the course of 10 years I had a few people get really emotional while certain areas of their bodies, or even specific muscles, were worked on. Being a good massage therapist is holding space for them to work through whatever is going on, without judgement or hurry. It's in both of our interests (client and practitioner) that you do the work; with a mental health professional >.>

[@imacds]

Makes sense. If you were physically abused using a body part, subsequent physical contact to that body part can bring back the memories. Especially if it's a part not often touched in day-to-day life so all of your memories with it are associated with trauma. I guess the correlation can also be less straightforward.

[@ifisawyourreplyiwillanswerback]

@@imacdsnice pfp. :)

[@imacds]

@@ifisawyourreplyiwillanswerback zombies ate my brainz :(

[@NatalieNatNati]

Trauma stays in the body, there is a great book called ‘The body keeps the score’ that talks about it.

[@MelissaR784]

​@@NatalieNatNatiThere's videos on here too by the author, Bessel van der Kolk.

[@AviOW]

For me, my traumatic experiences were not "traumatic" until I realised they were when I got older. Edit: Since some people responded with how it doesn't make sense that something can become traumatic later in life, it can. It's about unresolved feelings about a particular situation, and if you're put in a similar situation as an adult, those memories come back as similar feelings you had back then. I'm not Dr. K or a psychiatrist, but I have a bsc in psychology and I suggest you do research before you stomp on someone else's experiences.

[@wen6519]

Yeah, I just thought I was weird and odd and everything was fine. Until I realized that it was trauma and it wasn't fine 😅.

[@edie9158]

I would talk about stuff to friends and they’d point out… hey, that sounds like trauma. And I’d deny it. Then I entered a depressive episode with decent mood fluctuations (that I deny sometimes) and started to blame my friend group for causing my depression and anxiety. Even when, oops, they were there one’s who cared enough to point out, would you look at that.

[@Angerina_]

For me it wasn't trauma until I saw my daughter getting treated the same way and then it clicked.

[@abcdefzhij]

Huh? That doesn't even make sense lmao

[@JessicaRuiz323]

Correct me if I’m wrong, but even if you didn’t know you were traumatized, wouldn’t you still have been affected by symptoms of the trauma like trouble regulating emotions or dissociation, for example?

[@ComputersAndLife]

I've recently come to realize that I have been emotionally numb for years and it wasn't until I had kids and realized the extreme love that I have for them did the dam break and I started ugly crying. It felt good to have it coming out. I could feel the changes in my mind and the narrative that I was sad about unwound itself. It was a beautiful thing to finally understand what was going on. Thank you for this information!

[@terribleted9529]

I was emotionally numb myself, but it was for me a result of addiction. I lessened the power of the addictions and I feel emotions more now. I wonder do you think it was addiction related numbing in your case or something else?

[@snailart14]

Did having a partner help you with this ? My partner regularly says that he doesn't quite feel emotions very intensely, not that it's bad but he went through some serious neglect as a child so I'm just wondering if he can go on like this forever? I can't imagine that it's healthy

[@timefortee]

​​​@@snailart14He probably unconsciously yearns for release, himself, but may not have found the right approach to doing so. Or he fears being vulnerable cause he doesn't feel it will be well received.

[@badasswolff]

@@snailart14 Not OP but I've been the boyfriend in a similar situation to yours. In my experience my partner has helped me tremendously over time in that regard just by being a person whom I love deeply and have been allowed to express my emotions with. However it's also opened the floodgates in a lot of positive & negative ways because I never realized my emotional numbness was an abnormal and thus never learned how to healthily express my emotions. Not saying that this is what will happen with your BF as we are different people, but that's been my experience

[@MichelleHell]

EMDR helped me more than anything. I used to get "stuck", which I now understand as dissociation. I play guitar and before EMDR I would frequently dissociate and stutter. After EMDR, my brain doesn't do that and I can focus without stuttering. It was like the trauma created a gap in my consciousness, where time freezes and I just dissociate. I still have traumas, but they are the traumas I developed as a result of the original childhood traumas so they don't make me dissociate, they just make me frustrated.

[@black_sheep_nation]

EMDR and TREM radically changed my life. I was also no longer the garbage receptacle for my dysfunctional toxic family. ❤

[@rzl34]

could you please answer if by dissociation you mean an experience analogous to derealization?

[@simonus5039]

The part about the Japanese art form of repaired pottery really resonated with me, it made me think about a lot of Leonard Cohen's songs and poetry. One of his famous quotes: "There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." I think that metaphores like these hit so deep for me, because I feel a lot like I am broken . I try to repair myself of course, but the cracks will never become fully healed. And yet, apparently, there is light and beauty to be found in the cracks of broken pottery. Thank you Dr. K.

[@narcissistwhisperer]

About people not being able to cry & being shamed for crying. I frequently heard, stop crying or I will give you something to cry about.

[@tiniceek7945]

this sentence makes me nostalgic about my childhood

[@UniMatrix_1]

Black households 😢

[@Xizoc-tl]

Damn, reading the last part made me uneasy. Hope you are doing better!

[@fujitsu-no]

I used to hear "you're just crying to get attention"

[@andrewweaver3936]

I have issues with being able to express certain emotions and cry. My childhood too was full the same shit. I heard that all the time. I take extreme care to not say that kind of shit to my kids though. The generational curse stops with me

[@michelekriewall5423]

I opened the floodgates to emotions 40 yrs ago and haven't stopped crying since. The sadness has never resolved. I worked out regularly, rollerbladed, hiked, developed close friendships, finished college, started a new career, and went to therapy whenever I could afford it. Now.....after so many yrs I'm nack in therapy because of the hopelessness I feel.

[@timefortee]

Perhaps you are lacking faith.

[@visioneil]

I suppose that you went for that many options with faith... sometimes there are one's that work just at the right time in combination with other factors. what I'll say it's been more beneficial and inconditional of other factor it's been sports, resting, music and psychodelic drugs. just saying in case it helps :)

[@bongwatercrocodile315]

​@@timeforteelike vultures the theists appear to peddle their delusions to those in their weakest

[@NganHoang-dy8el]

Please read the book “the body the score” and Languages of Emotion. I think the sadness you feel despite so much work is because of unhealed trauma, that store in the body. Also, when we dont have healthy boundery growing, we keep create more and more trauma from many events in life. So you need to clear your old trauma, also learn the skill to stop creating new trauma.

[@saturday32]

I get how you feel. I feel it as well.

[@sophiaisabelle027]

Trauma is such a broad concept to tackle. We've all had our fair share of experiencing or encountering tarumatic events in our lives, even the ones we couldn't get over.

[@TheConvectuoso]

The thing I learnt recently as well from Dr Gabor Mate, is that trauma isn’t the event, it’s the response to the traumatic event. This simple definition changed the way I thought about trauma

[@submersedsword4949]

You mean the type of Trauma people deny?

[@submersedsword4949]

You mean the type of Trauma people deny?

[@submersedsword4949]

You mean the type of Trauma people deny?

[@stonedjacobo3431]

Not to mention the fact that what’s traumatizing to one person might not be for someone else

[@zeehobo]

Thank you for everything you have done. Genuine gift to the world!

[@nonononono8194]

Thank you so much for giving to him, this is super useful information.

[@voidofmisery4810]

yeah thanks for donating to dr k, maybe he’ll put it towards his new movie 😂

[@DanyalArcadio]

@@voidofmisery4810 he's done a movie?

[@MostHighLover]

You should do that kind of workshop for parents and teens/young adults. It could shape the world for the future. Us parents do care and regret doing things that was done to us not knowing that we are actually messing them up. I'm fked and was kinda raised that way. We can grow together and it would definitely be a wave and bring on huge changes.

[@pixiedusts]

love this idea too!!

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Really want to do more for parents!

[@Liliarthan]

@@HealthyGamerGGyes please, even parents of young kids. I have children of similar ages as yours, Dr K, but I have cPTSD and half the DSM, ME/CFS and Autistic burnout now… I am *desperate* to heal to a good enough place so I can at least parent in a good enough way. I didn’t see this video until today (only discovered you a week or so ago). So I am really hoping that you’ll do this workshop again soon 🤞🏽

[@michaelsmith7561]

This was extremely informative and helpful for me. When he explained what Kintsugi was, the Japanese art of restoring something broken to an even more beautiful state than when it was first created, I resonated with it so deeply I broke down and cried. Here's to putting our lives back together, one piece at a time. Thank you Dr. K.

[@whawha8043]

Met a girl on and off with cptsd, even though physically, emotionally, spiritually, and personally were great together, she was ultimately unable to love or be loved. Heartbreaking and most disappointing thing to accept. I hope she gets the help she needs to live a happy life.

[@VietNguyen-oo9gu]

I don't want to be associated with my trauma anymore. I'm tired of it. I'm working towards the light but a piece of me holder it back. Strongly.

[@popgabriel5327]

Holding up?

[@CorePathway]

You developed a ‘false self’ to survive in your family system. This is the part of you (your ego structure) that is terrified of change. Inner Family System work takes much of this into account.

[@kristyhoover1122]

As a massage therapist, I specialized in trauma in the body. Triggers can actually be a physical posture or even a touch. Anxiety can be induced by sitting at a desk with a No. 2 pencil that unconsciously reminds us of the anxiety experienced while taking tests. It's not uncommon for clients to have an emotional release from trauma on the massage table. That's why we either need a double major in psychology, have resources aka phone numbers of therapists, or work with a psychologist to work through the trauma after the table work.

[@pregerzoreo4886]

Needed to see this! Wish stuff like this could be shared with loved ones without it coming across as an insult or a diss

[@VioletEmerald]

First step is communicating enough to get to the point where they believe you genuinely want to help them be happier and live their best life. Next is sending resources like this.

[@Dancky2]

@@VioletEmerald well said

[@Sh0n0]

You can't break through to them because they are in denial of their own trauma and have sealed it into the deepest trapdoor that they never want to open.

[@peteywheatstraw4970]

I usually fwd it along with a disclaimer: Take what you think is appropriate, leave what isn't. I haven't gotten any feedback from the things I've passed on so idk if they watched or listened to them but no one jumped down my throat either. Best of luck to you!

[@thewakakeboarder]

One possible idea is to tell them that this video has personally helped you. And how you believe it's very valuable information because it changed your perspective in some way. And maybe sharing it can give someone else some new insights too.

[@M.A.R.S.]

I recommend this channel to my friends as much as I can (without getting annoying) because I've learned so much about myself and our minds.

[@fkhan2006]

same! i really feel like this channel can help my friends!

[@seekingfinding6204]

Tapping was the first modality that really helped me get started on healing. It was the only thing I'd tried up to that point that literally cleared the trauma from my body and was affordable (a few other modalities did that, but were too expensive for me to do more than once). It's interesting to hear all the bodily responses it affects; at the time I was using it, I noticed it helped me feel my emotions without getting completely overwhelmed by them. I could focus on the physical sensation of the tapping to keep from dissociating while I felt and processed my trauma. I'm so glad Dr. K is validating this technique, it's so easy to do and doesn't cost a thing!

[@MelissaR784]

That's great.

[@pattychan3941]

General timestamps: I think I have most of the big trigger warnings, but tell me if I missed any. (⁠b•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•)b 11:23 I feel so much worse now that I'm emotionally aware. | Is the emotion not there when I'm not aware of it? 16:55 What are the costs and benefits to remaining emotionally ignorant? 18:30 How do I fix my looping thoughts/constant fixation on my sadness? | How do I engage with/process sadness in a way that actually helps? 22:10 Fixing triggers/physiological responses from a physical, non-psychological angle | Desensitizing/deconditioning triggers/emotions 27:27 Why is nature good for the brain? 31:05 How to cry after losing the ability to do so | How to (re)learn how to purge/vent/embrace my emotions 35:30 How to have empathy for your former self | Are you abusive _to yourself?_ | How can you be compassionate to yourself if you feel you don't deserve it? | The true nature of kindness/compassion 40:45 How do you balance between self compassion and self pity? 43:58 Are you sabotaging from a place of trauma, or are you just bad at the thing in general (go check out the interview he mentioned for more depth) 46:55 48:40 What is the best way to release repressed emotions and/or processing emotions/trauma 59:15 Is trauma self-inflicted? 1:01:48 If it wasn't your fault for getting traumatized/having mental illness, does it _have_ to be your responsibility to fix? | Why should you take ownership if it wasn't your fault? (⚠️TW: topic of su*cide) 1:02:57 Why does it feel good to think about su*cidal thoughts? 1:06:15 1:07:40 The good news (TW End ⚠️) 1:08:42 Is trauma actually real? 1:09:20 What if seeing a professional isn't an option? (⚠️TW: mentions of SA) 1:10:31 Can your sex drive be affected by non-sexually-based trauma? 1:11:47 Hyper-sexuality from trauma 1:16:50 Hypo-sexuality from trauma (TW End ⚠️) 1:20:15 How do you (re)build a sense of self after trauma? | How to stop being a social chameleon + 1:22:02 Integration of experiences/emotions + 1:24:14 (Re)building/reframing your narratives 1:30:43 The relationship between weed addiction and porn addiction 2:25 - 10:34 , 1:33:25 Info on Dr. K's upcoming live trauma work workshop on Sept 31 & Oct 1, 2023 (Saturday and Sunday) (paid workshop, 8 hours split between two days, additional worksheets/resources provided, 200 total available seats) Hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day, stay kind to yourself ❤️

[@CommissionerLofi]

.... that's heavy

[@briannagravely9349]

1:10:31 Emily and Amelia Nagoski have two books, Burnout and Come As You Are, that discuss similar things aka the relationship between stress and sex.

[@towritemichelle210]

You rock! Thanks for doing that

[@AsheZerith]

Omg you're a champ! Thanks for this!

[@KimDrewTheLine]

Thanks ❤

[@theelephantintheroom69]

I've heard this stream being highly requested and I'm glad it was uploaded in full to get as much out as possible

[@kismetkiss]

To address the person questioning sexual abuse, it can be very subtle, for example, parents/trusted adults speaking about sexual topics that are not age appropriate, or it may be more recent than your original trauma, but stems from it indirectly because of how you interact with others due to your trauma (people pleasing/fawning, abusive relationships, poor self-esteem, etc). It's a release too, as Dr. K says, so it can become a coping mechanism or even an addiction.

[@raducer3463]

From minute 4:00 - "if you have an abusive parent there is no point in wanting things for the future" - had a mother who beat me up, she too was beaten up often by her father. I wanted to draw, I was told no, I wanted to play the guitar at 7, I was told no, Wanted a camera at 14, told no. 15- started drinking alcohol, smoking, taking drugs. Started hanging around with graffitti artists. -> 19 - Mother told me to go to Public Relations University. I said ok, but also want private lessons for drawing. Finally accepted. Got among top 10 in the Industrial Design University, dropped. Got in the top 20 at the Fine Arts University. Started working as a photographer, bought guitars, later on moved to graphic design. Now I am 33. It would've helped if my mother actually supported me more. BUT! I think she paid all her mistakes by listening me with those drawing lessons. You young ones! BELIEVE. You young ones! THRIVE. AND SEEK WHAT YOU LOVE WITH YOUR HEART. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

[@Angerina_]

I myself have been a gamer ever since my dad got the first family PC back in 1990. Being a gamer and being chronically online got me here, to watch Dr. K. I now have a three year old daughter who just started daycare and believe me or not, haven't listened to these explanations and guides on how to process emotions helps SO MUCH! Long walks (1-4h) in nature help her clm down and after walking for a while she starts talking about her day, how she was scared that mommy wasn't there, how a child hit her and she didn't know what to do or how a girl invited her to her birthday party and she's trying to understand that yes, she now has friends.

[@bl3524]

Cute

[@dudabertoli8107]

Dr. K you're my hero. Literally. I've been to a lot of bad doctors and for a long time believed that there was practically no doctor capable of understanding what I go through and how to treat me. You proved me wrong without me even knowing you personally. I'm autistic and I have a very manipulative, invalidating BPD mom. My life is a history of violated boundaries (specially in regards to autism; got CPTSD from that) and I'm recovering and getting immensely better now just by studying trauma and doing alone work on myself; and you play a very great part at this.

[@cup_o_TMarie]

It’s not your fault if you were kicked out of your chair & got hurt, but it is your responsibility to get back up & thrive! This idea helped me to realize that although my trauma is not my fault, my healing is my responsibility. If I don’t heal, I will bleed all over others who didn’t hurt me & only add more negative karma to myself & the world overall.

[@MelissaR784]

That comment, " Mental illness isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility" hit home.

[@vivvy_0]

so if someone breaks into your house and steals your things it's not on them, you should just better secure your home?

[@cup_o_TMarie]

@@vivvy_0 I can see why it might seem that’s what I’m saying and yet consider this…. It’s definitely on them for the action, however; if you develop a neurosis regarding the safety of your house, or continue to stay angry & hold a grudge looking for revenge, it’s your responsibility to get help for it. The burglar has the blame for the action or thing’s destroyed but they cannot heal you. Even if they pay restitution. Is this technically “fair?” In some ways no. And neither is a lot of life. We are victims if someone hurts us, but if we remain victims & let it continue to hurt our lives, we will also possibly hurt others directly or passively. That’s the definition of victim mentality. This is why they say that grudges hurt us more than the person we are angry at. We must deal with and process our pain from others. Some anger is good as it can help us heal. But we can’t look to the ones who hurt us to fix us. They usually can’t do to their emotional immaturity. If we stay victims we are staying helpless. And believe me I know the feeling of having your home & car (stolen) broken into & the violation. I had to process my feelings & then learn my lesson to do the best I could to avoid that in the future & it’s never happened again. Even though technically it still could, I now have higher security in my life. I hope that can help🙏✌️

[@Goob13289]

I see these videos in my feed and I’m afraid to open that box, but this video really helps me recognize the things I do to myself and also helps me contextualize my inaction and insecurity. My uncle was distraught because he couldn’t force me and my brother to pick the ice cream we wanted when we were visiting him, it’s because I grew up never making decisions for myself and lingering in self hatred. I’m moving away soon to live with said uncle.

[@ImNotaRussianBot]

I wish you success and healing, David.

[@TelekineticCheez]

Recently rewatched Captain Marvel and while listening to this i realized that movie is a really good depiction of the thought of losing yourself through trauma and recreating a narrative in your own mind. Highly recommend to anyone that resonates with

[@DebNKY]

I denied my trauma for many, many years. Just began dealing with it 7 years ago. Thank you for this information.

[@AntimatterBeam8954]

My severe cPTSD presents with rage, aggression, paranoia, hypervigilance, self isolation, severe social fatigue and avoidance, and antisocial traits. I don't have much of the classic anxiety and I never experience panic attacks, but I do get feral rage explosions. I've been arrested for them and forced into A&E to be forcibly sedated because I can't stop in that state and I'm a high risk to others and my own state of health (I have chronic illnesses and risk arrhythmias, epileptic seizures and hypoxia in such episodes, I get rushed to resus with around 6-8 police officers dealing with me, basically have a rage attack and have more trauma). I oddly have a decreased startle reflex and I don't experience bad dreams or flashbacks, but I am hypervigilant cognitively, every time someone tries to make attachment to me, my antisocial traits really come out. I had every category of abuse as a child except cult like stuff that sometimes can happen, and it was abuse daily, daily beatings, daily psychological torture, and regularly being locked in my room for two days straight where I had to urinate on a towel because I couldn't hold it anymore, being poisoned, my mother's Munchausen's by proxy, and sexual assault as a child (I won't say the r word, some people are sensitive to it in the trauma world) multiple times by my grandfather, and I had neglect too, I was taught nothing at all except what I learnt at school. I currently live in severe self isolation and I refuse to try and integrate with society, I have never been employed as I've been signed off on unemployment and disability since I was 18 due to how extreme my behaviour becomes with normal adult life and also I don't have basic adult skills beyond what I can science. I am good at science and that's it. It's a weird life but I'm finally calm now that I'm self segregating from society. My mother drank right throughout pregnancy and then her Munchausens means I can pin 8 of my disabilities on her.

[@Sh0n0]

Sorry to hear that…

[@AntimatterBeam8954]

@@Sh0n0 thanks. I'm mostly calmer now given that I finally self isolated from the world and avoid human contact and stay in a Buddhist-like state in life. Hope you are okay

[@AnimosityIncarnate]

All of this, plus classic and panic style anxiety and constant rumination, horrible abandonment issues, absolutely deranged attempts to avoid abandonment, constantly flip flopping emotions, self harm etc. But I also go through these "rage periods"... add emotions into it and it's quite literally a nightmare come true. Instant regret and shame can even cause a second rage episode, it's a terrible thing to feel when I'm so impulsive and almost out of my mind momentarily. I wish I could stay in that complete dissociative state, because I feel nothing. Not happy or sad, not horny or angry, just like blank. Self isolating is the second best thing to that but I gotta be honest, I cannot self isolate forever. I'm so lonely, it's been 7 years 😂

[@AntimatterBeam8954]

@@AnimosityIncarnatethat sounds way more difficult than I experience mate I'm sorry to hear that. It seems like you never stop feeling distressed. Sounds awful. I can rage and go batsht but I'm emotionally very shallow and glib. I never get lonely I don't think I've experienced loneliness before. For me it's emotional shallowness so I'm not numb I'm just too emotionally shallow to experience complex emotions. I hope I get rejected by people as then I don't have to deal with the trials of attachment theory. I would rather someone quit me early rather than not at all. But then I have reactive attachment disorder the polar opposite of rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I only get hypervigilance when I get human contact but I can engage my emotional shallowness to not give a fck about consequences sometimes. I am, in isolation, generally neutral and sometimes hyper sometimes I get pissed at minor things, but as I said I'm too emotionally shallow to experience a lot of the emotions you list. I don't self harm unless I'm having a rage attack and my rages are akin to cocaine intoxication but without the cocaine. I told my therapist I refuse to let her implant emotional depth into me as it would be destructive and if she does I'll stop paying her. She agreed to not work on my emotional shallowness and leave it be. She actually understood why I need to retain my emotional glibness / shallowness. I never had emotional empathy and I think emotional empathy is way overrated, cognitive is better, you don't feel all those annoying emotions with cognitive empathy. I have a strong maternal history of antisocial PD / psychopathy, narcissism and impulsive / chaotic traits, intergenerational abuse and they are mostly alcoholics and heroin abusers. My psych said I have antisocial traits but not the full PD. I have to have some kind of cognitive self control over my antisocial traits I'm on my fifth Facebook account and I was banned off Twitter for a while lol. I try my best attempt at behaviour I'm not great at it but at least I'm not committing minor crimes anymore. I don't have a very classic cPTSD set because I lack the depth of emotions, I don't have nightmares and I don't have flashbacks and counseling was pointless as I read off some of my abuse history stories like a shopping list, got bored and asked her in a semi sarcastic tone, what else do you want to hear about? But I do have strong symptoms in some areas and I've been diagnosed formally. To be honest I don't have any desire to go back into society and more than barely any human contact. I like Twitter and KZbin comments because there is no commitment and bonding needed but there is discussion and conversation. I don't do support networks but I do have non local friends who one might visit once every 2 months but they all live >2hr away by train and train fares are expensive. I don't have family in this country. My neighbour is nice but she knows I need to keep distance. I don't join communities online because I classically end up thrown out and it's too much of a challenge following all those rules lol. cPTSD can sometimes present as antisocial traits through and my mother's family is full of intergenerational abuse and chaotic antisocial type traumatised people with shallow emotions and criminality and rage. Mate I hope things get better for you one day.

[@AntimatterBeam8954]

@kenkaneki6969_ thank you I appreciate that

[@michael5654]

The thing about traumatic experiences becoming "worth it" because you can help others once you've resolved them resonates with me. The broken know how to speak to the broken

[@nhiavue1]

Zuko (Avatar: Last airbender) analysis video helps a lot on the understanding the journey of trauma.I find that everything that Dr. K said about mental health fits so perfectly when Zuko's trauma and healing process. I recommend it

[@Sh0n0]

Which video?

[@mathildaareti]

link?

[@cody3504]

Link?

[@popgabriel5327]

I think the op was referring to the video made by a yt channel called "Hello Future Me"

[@serenawill128]

Ugh.. what would we mere mortals do without Dr.K?? Amazing video as always. Dr.K should get a nobel prize for his work... he's really doing God's work considering how priced out and inaccessible mental healthcare is in the US.

[@简澜]

That’s romanticize and idealization. It might not be good to think in this way, because you might raise unrealistic expectations about other people

[@serenawill128]

@@简澜 Yes, I know haha. I was joking about the mere mortals part. But I am very grateful for his videos.

[@5FootAssassin]

FRRR

[@missmg]

Dr. K: This is one of the best videos about trauma (and the bar tou set is already high). Thanks for the great questions asked by the audience as well 👏🏻

[@isisandreialimacaetano3694]

The explanation about how nature helps emotional regulation deserves a short! I use hikes in nature to regulate myself and ny daughter. It works amazingly. But I didn’t know that there was such detailed explanation for how it works. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much! 🙏🏻🤩

[@TheDeepKing]

This is exactly what I needed right now , so correct these aspects of trauma are not covered in therapy, thanks doc!

[@gregorsmirnow6337]

Videos about trauma are very frustrating for me to watch because the effects of trauma match my experiences, but the cause of my trauma is so different than the causes of trauma Dr. K talks about. It's like I've found "the solution" to my problems, but the more I listen, the more I find the solution doesn't apply to me. It's a very hopeless feeling.

[@steggopotamus]

Can you talk about it? Maybe there's a different therapist or resource someone knows about that could help?

[@Saggy_G]

You're doing good for people in a way that's so refreshing. Thank you for everything Dr. K.

[@ifisawyourreplyiwillanswerback]

He’s such a nice person, God bless him!🙏🏻

[@electricjellyfish375]

Thank you so much for focusing on this. I believe trauma is the source of most of our problems.

[@k9s2music65]

I’ve seen this video but am stayed away from watching it. I believe it to be that I have been afraid of acknowledging how deeply I was affected by my absence of emotion safety in my upbringing. I have so much love to give and yet I was never truly offered it growing up. I love so deeply because I think I have felt so unloved on such a deep level. Dr K has improved my life so much and opened my possibilities of experience, love and forgiveness a thousand fold. I wish he could understand this, but for sake of not being able to control this I will focus on healing and giving to others, such as he has given to me 🙏

[@sailormewmew95]

The first person who said being more emotionally aware made them sadder really hits hard. My most used saying is ignorance is bliss. I can’t tell what’s worse, my life now over 6 years sober from my “drug of choice” with no contact of the parents who put me through constant trauma and kept me on drugs or the hell I lived in with then numbed with drugs with no idea what the world was truly like and what how wrong everything is 🥺 at least back then there was some sense of hope of a better life beyond the hell I was stuck in… now 7 years later the hope has all gone even though I’ve come farther then I ever thought i would, I now know I will never come far enough in this world, mentally, emotionally, financially, all of those and more… I’m just so tired but can’t afford to take a break and I know I can’t go on like this much longer

[@pvt.pineapple9008]

That self compassion part got me pretty good. I've been learning to forgive myself for a mistake I've made years ago that affects me everyday now. This video really opened up a new insight.

[@Wabbajank]

This was such a validating way trauma was discussed for me. I have been healing from familial abuse, sexual abuse, divorce, grief and depression/anxiety for the last five years and I found pieces of things I’ve figured out along the way discussed and elaborated on that seemed to help click another piece into place for me and my prospective. Thankful for this, I appreciate your teachings so much. Thank you!

[@cup_o_TMarie]

The cracks are where the healing light comes in. ✨ When I finally created a safe harbor within my heart & soul, I learned to trust myself & began to form my identity. I see healing as an excavation job. I believe we all come into the world as a shining gem of love & light. From the moment we pop out, the world begins to heap dirt upon that light & eventually we forget it’s there. We end up looking for others to reflect light upon us so that we can feel valid. And that is a trap. So the work to come home to oneself is to have the courage to dig up & shine that gem. I believe we heal the whole world one soul at a time & inspire each other along the way. “You may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one” 💓✌️✨ Namaste DrK🙏

[@smroog]

Dr. K Have you considered printing a glossary for us ditch diggers.???? Emotional coping, dissociating, integrating, etc., I have the same problem with Peter Walker " Complex PTSD ..." I am 78 years old. Dealing with depression / CPTSD for 70 years. Your possible solutions/remedies are AMAZING !!!! Thank you so much for your videos. Most therapists are not really in the game. Very disappointing over the years. YOU are REALLY GOOD !!! Thank you !!!!!

[@Jordankefasjp]

I got bullied so hard during middle and high school, until today im still scared if i hear a crowd laughing cause i think they're laughing at me (just like when those bullies laughed at me during middle-high school)

[@richerDiLefto]

Same here. Sorry you went through that.

[@ayemiksenoj5254]

You really are the only doctor on KZbin I can constantly listen to, believe, and trust!💞 Can you please do a video on the external physical effects of aging due to trauma?

[@ashleydevlaminck9430]

This is been a gift to come up on your channel!

[@NO1knowsy333]

Thank you. Words can not express exactly what I want to. Your soul is shining bright and I feel understood without being known to you at all. I wish I could attend the workshop but am not able at this time and was surprised to find this was recent as I was watching a previous video before this was suggested. I am only commenting this to support the way that I can and tell you that I see the effort ,intellect, insight and my soul is appreciative of your willingness to share the wisdom you have gained. Your mansion is turning into a castle in the sky because of your willingness to be as you are. Also you pronouncing karma warms my heart profoundly.

[@Sunsetglitch]

I feel this. I noticed this happening to me at some point, no longer had a desire to do anything in life. I had given up on wanting to do anything because I kept having my desires ignored, by my parental figure at the time. Now I'm grown up and I still don't have many desires.

[@enjoyb7176]

You’re really good a portraying how people that are going through this feel. It is so important society starts to understand these things so we can start helping each other and making the world better. Good work

[@mommyink]

I know this video is old, but the point brought up abt not being able to cry... my father told me "We dont cry" in every aspect, pain or emotional. I didnt cry from age 12 to age 32. I wasnt allowed to cry. I was always either happy or angry. There were no other emotions. (Also need to mention I was the first born and i was supposed to be a boy. 10 years later my father got his son.) But until then, i was raised as his son. I never noticed in high school or my early 20s how hard i was. I ended relationships or they were ended by my partner, but it never affected me. Ive never had a man that only wanted me. But i just made it a joke, i have men that are looking for their forever home. Not great but i had no emotion towards it. My father told me i didnt need that, i could be everything i wanted alone. Having my daughter changed my life. And honestly, within thise first 2 years i learned abt astrology and learned abt myself and stopped believing in God, which im not saying to do but this whole process taught me to embrace my emotions and the first time i cried on over 20 years i couldnt stop! That release was so much more healthy than the anger i had to release whatever emotion i had. I now take a day off if i need it to just cry. Its a huge release for me, especially since im a pisces... i cant believe i went thru my learning years of life thinking i was making my father proud by showing no emotion! He never told me he was proud but thats what i believed! There are different levels of trauma and i definitely had a lot worse trauma in my life, but that was the beginning and how easy it is for someone to shape your life.... im still learning how to process my emotions but me being able to recognize i have an issue is huge. Sorry for the book, just hoping to help someone who is looking for an answer to something similar that i went thru as a child.

[@Cindy_istopforheartrocks]

That is the most difficult Intro I've ever tried to process. Intense core truth. It's as far as I've gotten and have listened to it 4 times to write down almost everything you said. This is going to take a minute. Holy cow. I've cried each time. What the what. Thank you for putting it to words.

[@WadeLife]

That's what happened to me over a month ago. I destroyed my dark place in my subconscious, where I had everything hidden now. I've been crying more than I ever have, but luckily, over the last week, it's gotten a lot better your videos have helped me tremendously. Thanks Dr.k

[@chalybee8689]

Been watching Dr K's videos for like a week now and at first i felt hopefull because he's talking about my issues and how to to fix them, but now I am starting to realize that not only am I way further away from recovering my true self than i thought, but I have way more traumas and also deeper in them+ that I wouldve ever realized by myself. In fact so deep in them that I cant even concieve what is to be an emotionally functional human. Or believe in the hope that there is a way out. I cant even conceptualize the possibly that ill be healed and free oneday

[@MelissaR784]

It can be overwhelming. Baby steps.

[@Liisa3139]

I haven't cried for thirty years. Prior to that I was depressed for a couple of years and cried all the time, ALL the time ANYWHERE, for any reason, or no reason. I guess I got over depression partially through intellectualizing and by change of employment and other outer matters. Along the way I just got tired of all the crying. I did not decide to never cry again, but I just dumped the crying thing, as it was useless, and have not picked it up again. Now I feel I would want to and need to cry sometimes, but it doesn't come out. I don't know how. I cried a little now listening to this podcast.😄🙃

[@raghavadoregowda2191]

Dr. K you're absolutely amazing and you've been a huge support for me. I would appreciate it if you could post a snippet of "How to instill an idea of the future after trauma" from your live stream onto KZbin. It would be of massive help

[@rastamonsotherchannel2802]

There is another form of trauma therapy called ART which stands for accelerated restoration therapy. It essentially does the exact same thing as emdr with eye movements except it takes about half the time. It helped me through a very difficult memory I experienced

[@jayl1712]

Dr.K I just want to say thank you so much for your content. You have many videos that have made things clear for me. But wow I am so grateful for this video right here. Thank you Dr. K Much Love!

[@daisy92204]

Thank you Doctor 💜 I just want you to say thank you. Probobly, you don't know this, but for some people, listening lectures are the one only thing they feel like want to do, what reminds that onec, somewhere out there in past, there was a time, when they actually felt some things, that thay had emotion, needs. At least it's good to know that there were a time in life when hose people did live. Thank you, and I wish you nothing but what's best for you and everyone you love the most (health and hugs for your Kids 💜). Warm hugs for you and your close Ones💜💜💜 Thank you 💜

[@MJ-ew6we]

The Body Keeps The Score & Getting Past Your Past are both great books about how Trauma is stored in your body.

[@darelljackson4132]

Whom may the author be?

[@gollum65]

Bessel van der Kolk for Body Keeps the Score. A great great resource. I wish there were still trauma clinics like the one he ran in Boston

[@gollum65]

Thanks!

[@Griffolion0]

The bit about crying is interesting as i can still remember roughly the time i went numb. It was after a breakup when I was 18. I spent six months waking up every day with a pit in my stomach because of the breakup. Eventually i noticed that it went away. But so did every other emotion, too. I can't remember the feeling of joy. Interestingly i feel most emotional when I'm tired/sleep deprived.

[@ImNotaRussianBot]

That makes sense. Your brain depleted itself suppressing the emotions, so your tank is on E. This is why you need to turn off the A/C and drive below the speed limit until you can get to the nearest gas station.

[@avatarkush1734]

Hello Dr K. You said at the beginning of the video, that making an 8 hour video would not be watched by many and you are right. But I am an avid learner of psychology and youre videos help me IMMENSELY on understanding myself and how to grow and learn to get back up. I would 100% watch your 8 hour video. Even if it was 24 hours i would do it. I love hearing the gritty details i guess lol. But please please consider making at least 1 video explaining in full detail about some of the most important psychological and spiritual core components. I think it would be of great help for people seeking knowledge for knowledge sake. Thank you Dr K.

[@whisped8145]

56:30 If all you ever do is just talk about your trauma, that's just gonna needlessly constantly retraumatize you. It works for therapists who're really just catastrophe tourists, but doesn't help you. I have noticed it helps a lot, to the point I'd call it vital, if before an EMDR session about a specific trauma, you have written that trauma down by hand - no typing (different mental process) - in as much detail as you can. For one it protects you from being getting surprise details bricked in the face during a session, and of course you miss less. It gives you a few more percentage points of stability in general, and in severe trauma that is vital. Every promille makes a giant difference. If you have the Himalayans on your shoulders and you get rid of one mountain of weight, that is still the Himalayans on your shoulders - but a mountain is a lot of weight by itself and not to be ignored. You will thus also need less sessions per trauma. - Personally, I'd say any therapist that rejects this idea (handwriting), as well as helping you write your stuff down when you could during a session through creating a good environment for that - simply someone _trustworthy_ being there - is a charlatan who just wants wages, but not work.

[@smurphy9489]

I wish I saw this video sooner..workshop is already sold out. :( I hope there will be more in the future! I feel stuck in life right now because I am trying to treat the long term effects of my traumas. It can be so overwhelming, and hard to know where to start.

[@herahagstoz6934]

EMDR stands for Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. And it works. It’s actually spooky how quickly and effectively it works. Find a good therapist or knowledgeable friend who understands how it works and you can try it yourself. Once you understand the process you can actually use it on your own. It’s that simple. Over 20 years ago my wonderful therapist was able to help me with this and I cannot stress how fast it was able to unlink the stress anxiety triggers for deep and intense emotional memories that I had. It worked within the session itself and the next session it worked forever. The link was severed and I have never had it return. EMDR is one of the most underrated techniques for addressing trauma and anxiety ever. I’m thinking it has a lot to do with the fact that once you get how, you can just use it on your own. ❤

[@bigbadlara5304]

I had some terrible images with me as a child. I fabricated them myself it's not based on real events. They'd evoke strong negative emotions when they came up. And that happened 100 times a day and a huge variety of images and situation. They had a theme though. I had been struggling with mental health since a young age and been trying to improve my situation but nothing worked. Professional treatment didn't either. A few months ago I went to a psychiater. They were listening to my explanation of symptoms and the such. "lets try EMDR" I didn't even know what it was. What do you know. I'm now functioning as a normal person.

[@justcalcio747]

Why you still checking mental health videos then 😔

[@magicmoneymakerrr]

'where did you learn to not cry' - Brought tears to my eyes ..

[@desireelevesque634]

I "break the plate" or self sabotage with all of my relationships... romantic, platonic, familial...all of them. I have so much fear of abandonment that rather than waiting for people to leave me as I know they eventually will and feeling like anxious, I just drive them away, distance myself and refrain from getting close to anyone in the first place. I protect my heart and my mental health by destroying anything good that comes my way (relationships or career/education opportunities, etc) b/c it's just going to fall apart or I'm going to fail anyway. I'm trying to sort out how to not do these things. Thank you for your help ❤

[@JeremyPickett]

57:31 I am a classically trained clarinetist and saxophonist. For me at least, taking the largest breaths possible *but in a specific way* is one of the great secrets for calming the Eff down. Here is the secret. When breathing, DO NOT RAISE YOUR SHOULDERS. Try not to move anything Except your diaphragm/stomach. This takes practice before it becomes automatic, usually a few weeks like most habits. You will experience an improvement. It destress your shoulders and back. Improves oxygen and mentally clarity. And literally centers you to the literal center of your body. No side effects, and it is free. It ain't a cure-all, but it kind of is a help-all :)

[@diane7193]

Thank you, For the useful information

[@trevorcrone2178]

Thank you Dr. K! I hope to help a fraction of the amount of people you’ve helped one day

[@MajorieRoyal]

Can we buy the replay of your workshop? I know a lot about Trauma by now, and I have to admit I admire the way you talk, very clear and accessible. Rare quality! It's awesome! GREAT SPEAKER!!

[@MissRoxanne123]

I most likely have C-PTSD and I never really knew how to call and explain my "no bad emotions until it gets too much to handle and I get overwhelmed", until just now. Thanks for explaining it so well! I actually am tired a lot, and the doctors couldn't find a reason why. So when that was mentioned: 🤯 While listening to this, I realised I'm actually very very sad, but I don't know why. I should be starting therapy for my trauma this week, so I'll try to remember to bring it up. I wonder what treatment would work for this when you don't remember most of your trauma, as I pushed away that too. I actually haven't finished the video yet, I will be watching the rest tomorrow

[@SzaboB33]

I learned to cry after taking a break for 5-10 years. I don't remember but I cried a handful of times between age 18 and 26. I rationalized crying. I wanted to hold it back and I realized that my authentic self wants to cry and nobody is around so just have at it and if I feel ashamed because of it it's a good time because I can cry because of that too :D

[@SilentRunningRedux]

5 minutes in and I hit “like.” Don’t know if I’ll be able to finish (should), but I’m subject to the very paralysis about any “future” that Dr K our so concisely… and is rarely discussed!

[@SilentRunningRedux]

*”our” was “described”; don’t know how the typing error OR spell-check transmogrified my comment. Peace, fellow survivors.

[@Indi_Waffle_Girl]

Saw this pop up on my feed again today (listened a few months ago), and just came here to express my appreciation for the thumbnail. Whoever made it did a really good job. It's so detailed, and the newspaper clippings look really good haha. My art major ass is appreciative 😁 This video as well has been so so SO informative and influential on the way I've looked at behaviors in my own and my loved one's bodies, and thought about each of our respective lives and the stuff we've been through. Freaking fascinating stuff. To quote Michael Reeves - "that's badass."

[@BitterTast3]

A major obstacle I have with the methods offered for treating trauma is that I hold that my emotions are something I create, even if I’m not aware that that’s what I’m doing. So when they say to take medication or do this exercise to let the emotion go, it doesn’t tell me how I created it nor why. Which, to me, comes off as very invalidating.

[@Catstimesinfinity]

Im learning so much and i thought I was already rather emotionally intelligent. Love this channel! I have deepened all my relationships outside and inside myself. I feel so much more fulfilled since i started wtaching this channel. Im not perfect of course, i have so many teaumas tp unravel that showed their ugly face after my kom passed but its been so rewarding working through it all

[@ohwell9093]

Thankyou, it's very difficult to find succint and useful information on what the impact trauma has and a general approach on how to address these areas. I agree the scope of medical practice is incomplete in addressing some of these areas, thankyou for bringing forward your experience

[@NonameMary]

I am listening part about crying and remember that I had the following problem : I always tried to stop myself from crying because I know that my physical condition will be significantly worsen by this act. It might happen that I would need medication to stop and even after would feel worse than it would be if I stopped myself. I really tried it when I had anxiety disorder during the first year of covid. I didn't get any covid myself! I have no relatives or friends suffered from it, but I was scared and covid destroyed my career plans. When I started crying it was a disaster. I needed a doctor and medications to stop. And I remember that it already happened in the past. Next time I would better stop myself from crying at any cost. Don't know why I am that different from the other people who can cry without getting sick. The only difference I see listening the video, that reasons I wanted to cry , rearly had something to do with "what kind of person I am" , but rather with "how helpless poor me is in the terrible situation that is going" and "how I would like to make things better, but can't do anything about it".

[@mctwistx1248]

13:39 if youre not aware of your sadness, that does mean that you are not sad and that does not mean that the sadness is not affecting you when we numb ourselves to our emotions those emotions are still active we just lack awareness when we numb our emotions we do not process them when we do not process them when we do not process them they end up getting stored in some way in our brain and that 14:41 stored emotion will still act

[@mctwistx1248]

15:45 I have goals but I have no energy that's because your brain is using all the energy to numb the emotion literally what happens is you have active emotions in the amygdala and in the limbic system but your frontal lobe is expending all of its energy to suppress those emotions the frontal lobes our frontal lobe is what willpower comes from it's where planning comes from it's when task execution comes from so when we drain our frontal lobes we can't motivate ourselves to do anything so even though you don't feel sad the sadness is absolutely affecting you

[@mctwistx1248]

20:24 emotional processing: think about things in a new way: well at least I've acknowledged that this is a problem and even if I'm behind I have to acknowledge that this is a problem in order to catch up EMDR we want to regain control from the trigger, through desensitization and deconditioning

[@mctwistx1248]

29:45 nature aerosol chemical reduce anxiety, when I'm hiking I'm sending signals to my respiratory system we need long deep breaths stop this hyperventilation crap that anxiety causes

[@ghosteat6294]

As a writer who specializes in diving deep into my characters' psychology I'm finding these videos really useful, thanks

[@martindaniel6806]

Those topics always come up, when their fresh in my mind and very relevant to my life, thank you Dr.k. I'm exited

[@NeanderdeOliveira]

Sold Out :( I would watch 8hrs worth of KZbin, since you mentioned! Whichever way, I hope to get my hands on this content. Really need it.

[@weeb-desu6284]

I loooove this, please we need more abt trauma ! Lots of love❤❤❤ thankss so much for this, need it

[@maahnu2313]

I was physically and emotionally abused. My mom always belittled my emotions and never tried to talk with me, would just resort to violence. Now I’m emotionally numb to almost everything and have no desire to pursue anything

[@t62720]

how are you doing

[@maahnu2313]

@@t62720 not great man, to be completely honest I’m a loser in life rn

[@annaturquoise7701]

this put all the different bits and pieces i got from your other videos into a systemic scheme. thank you

[@vicentebraz2273]

I feel that healing from emotional problems is part of life, and dealing with them is what makes us better human beings. In that sense, it's like moving from the 4th grade to the 5th, but when I reach the 5th or 6th, or whatever it may be, I always struggle to identify where the problems and solutions are, as well as what I'm doing right or wrong in these transitions. Does anyone have any tips for this? and doctor K and team THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE CONTENT ^^

[@cory99998]

That is sorta the essence of life, we're always stepping into new chapters full of unknowns. I think focusing on the fundamentals (sleep, meditation, eating well, taking breaks from escapism outlets, finances, etc) are going to be the things you can do that will give you the capacity to tackle these unknowns. Also its not a race, you have your entire life to figure these things out so make of that what you will. It's okay to not have answers.

[@itsmeagain0]

i don't even understand what trauma is. at the age of 9 my teacher told me about death and everyone dies. for some reason I remember the visuals very vividly both when he said it and how I reacted to it afterwards. I am not sure if I was depressed but I am sure I was sad. my school ends at 3:30pm and we go to swim at a near lake. this is what happened after I came to know that everyone dies. I went to swim everyday without any fears or sadness but returning home was the hardest. I cried. I threw away my clothes while returning everyday and came naked home. I was good at the small games that children play at that age in India and whenever I win the sadness and thoughts of "does it really matter" kicks in and gave away all the things I won including my own things I used to participate in the game. I remember just giving money to others. this phase lasted for about 10 days or 2 weeks I think. i dont remember having that feeling after that. now im 28 with no aim or goal in my mind, broke and depressed and not depressed at the same time for some reason( i am not even sure if i should that word depressed). i feel very less pain when it comes to physical injuries and my thoughts are all over the place as you can see from this writing. i quit 3 jobs until now very early of my joining like 2 months is max i stayed in a job. i feel like i dont feel emotions most of the times though watching animals get hurt or someone getting heartbroke makes me cry. and i am not even sure if i have anything else to add here or how to end this writing. any suggestions?

[@rdallas81]

HELLO my friend. I just want you to know I read your comment and I understand. This is how I have felt many times. Stay busy with something. Read books, educate yourself. That's very very important. Maybe you should make a video just talking about how you feel in your experiences...I would actually watch that kind of video. It may give you a different perspective. Anyhow. Have a good and blessed day.

[@Alicia-ns4cc]

Thanks

[@launacasey6513]

I kinda love the abrupt endings. But even more than that I love the content! Thanks so much for providing this.

[@keithcheng4671]

"1:05:42 that karmically you just passed the buck right so committing suicide in this life doesn't 1:05:48 fix things" is the perfect answer to the first line of the Myth of Sisyphus: ''There is but one serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide."

[@KimmOrwente]

35:30 Can you coax your mind from its wandering and keep to the original oneness? Can you let your body become supple as a newborn child's? Can you cleanse your inner vision until you see nothing but the light? Can you love people and lead them without imposing your will? Can you deal with the most vital matters by letting events take their course? Can you step back from you own mind and thus understand all things? Giving birth and nourishing, having without possessing, acting with no expectations, leading and not trying to control: this is the supreme virtue. -Lao Tzu, "Tao Te Ching"