DEFEAT YOUR ENFP DARK SIDE - Getting Back To BEING YOU - Dreams Around The World

[@enfp]

What videos would you like to see in the future?

[@danielneyland8318]

Dan do you live in a cycle of gathering stuff and leaving crap all over the place in times of focus? If you have a project let's say and you are all in, do you tend to prioritize that and let the rest of your life get really messy? Second part, I notice if I take time to switch modes to clean and organize, my mental clarity and excitement lifts which results in a more peaceful focus on my project. The problem is transitions from one mode to another. Any insights into finding or forcing a balance? My tendency is to go all in and strike while the iron is hot, but balance is very difficult. Thanks, ENFP

[@tiaraharek6484]

Something I've been going round with is that my boyfriend is ISFJ. I love him and don't want that to change. We are both homebody(s) and he makes me feel like I'm home with his heart. Cheesy. I know. Anyways, how do I keep a balance of getting out and keeping the novelty of myself with the stability and consistency of his personality? I want to know everything (which is something he loves about me) but I tend to mold into my significant other and give up those pieces of me. Not his fault. Help! :)

[@xoxoMandyxoxo]

Guys. I have literally been going through this for YEARS! I am in ENFP but I have gone through very prolonged stress ( and heathy dose of trauma thrown in there). I would sit in my therapists office and I would try to explain that I felt different and yes I was diagnosed with depression, which might not be wrong, but I never quite got back to myself. This Darkside concept explained what was happening and what is happening. I can’t even believe it. I wish that there was more research on this and that therapist were more versed and personality types. I’m going to school for counseling so this is definitely my goal LOL

[@AdamSamotkal]

I hope you are still active on this account. How are you? What eventually helped you to get our of It?

[@Leona.luna8]

I went through a dark phase after dating an ESTJ for two years lol! They can be super critical with themselves and others, so I ended up being super critical about myself and how others perceived me. When before, I was just doing me and not caring about what other people thought. Anyways, in those two years I began to behave differently in ways that were more like him but made me unhappy! I realized this in the time we broke up (6 months). I did a lot of reflection and I learned that it’s important to be my true self and I need to be more self assured. I shouldn’t try to mold into what everyone else is to fit in. There’s a true gift in standing out! We are back together now and it’s time to practice my new philosophy, I’m excited.

[@alyssashoemaker3414]

This really speaks to me, because I've always been a social butterfly, but I went through several years in a very high-stress situation that strongly brought out that dark side you talked about, I hardly spoke with anyone, and I felt hopelessly anxious around people. After having time to evolve as a person, I find that although I'm mostly back to normal, that anxiety still rears its ugly head when I talk to people who I'm not close to, and I can really beat myself up when I fail to have a successful conversation 😬 I think this will really help me, because what I've been missing is daily interactions with many people outside my family. I doubt I will ever recover that level of pure-hearted, confident extroversion again, but it really helps me to know that I am not crazy and it is normal to experience these effects! I am heading off to college soon, so I will make sure to put this to practice during these "good stress" times!

[@N3rv86]

I just wanted to say thank you for this video. I was stuck in my dark side for a very extended amount of time before I realized something was very wrong with me. I got into mbti to try to get my happy social self back again. I really appreciate you addressing this issue. It is just what I needed. Hopefully I don't have to live in my own shadow anymore lol...

[@caramyabr6555]

I went through dark side for almost a year due to chronic stress of professional life.. But ultimately it ended with Depression of around 3months.. And now I m in 3rd recovery stage of depression recovery cycle.. And ur videos are actually bringing changes in my life.. it seems sooooo damn right to understand and follow.. Thanks for this particular video..

[@cleokazakos3600]

Something to keep in mind when acting “As If” try applying the “ no matter what i will be okay “ mindset. A simple interaction with someone you may not talk to often is not going to have a negative long term effect on you. If anything it will make you feel good and accomplished that you acting followed through with it!:)

[@Toxic_Femininity]

When intuition is being layered with sensing I can become insecure and paranoid. Which totally isn’t me, and boy it’s exhausting. When I got my last bout of depression I controlled it by doing the exact opposite of what I had been doing. It’s like the saying “which wolf do you feed” and when I punish myself I reinforce my depression by indulging in sad music, bad food, not eating at all.

[@michaelbingaman2434]

“Acting as if…” is one of the main techniques of Adlerian or Individual Psychology!

[@Birchswinger83]

I recently went through this and learning more about the cognitive functions really helped me pinpoint the needs I had that were not being met. I followed the advice you gave here and it helped significantly. I would also say that if someone wants to get back to their intuitive self, brainstorming or dreaming about future ideas and plans is a quick way to get back into an ENFP flow state. It might feel awkward at first if you’ve been in an S mode for awhile, but have some grace for yourself and it will happen.

[@the_light_writer]

What does it mean to be in "sensor" or "sensing" mode? What does that look like? What does it affect?

[@jayspeers8653]

I’ve been acting like I’m having a great day for 15 years and it hasn’t worked yet 😂

[@SuzanneBeenackers]

Hi Dan! So glad I discovered your channel. Referring to your video here - I was convinced I WAS an introvert until I took the Myers-Briggs test, and realized I was no, nor had I ever been, an introvert. It was just that I felt so uncomfortable with the superficial roles I had to play, that I had convinced myself I didn't like being around people. Now I know I am an ENFP(-T) and I m never going to let that happen again. I know that providing I also have time alone, and make a real connection, I can indulge excessively in being social. I will talk to the Starbucks guy AND in the elevator AND go to the social event! But long exposures that requires fake smiling, or covering stuff up that we're not allowed to talk about - will always keep draining me.

[@enfp]

You and me both Suzanne! Which could explain why I'm sometimes known for being a little over the top, and dare I say, offensive in person. It's just easier than holding back :)

[@perjohanaxell9862]

I find just remembering how you used to be to be very powerful

[@enfp]

That's something I need to remember to do more.

[@VINAYAKOMANIA]

I hate doing housework

[@conkers5875]

This

[@katiefrentz1328]

I am absolutely in need of this video. I’ve been struggling through mental health through the last year. I’ve been feeling exactly like you’ve described and I haven’t been feeling like myself. I want to get back to where I was before

[@enfp]

Hope you'll find yourself again

[@katiefrentz1328]

@@enfp thank you! I am listening to each ENFP video. I’m starting to pull away from a deep-rooted fear of mine in order to start a small at-home craft and sticker business. Each of your videos has been so so encouraging to me and a lot of your guidance has already been giving me a new outlook on my future. Thank you for your passion, and for making it available to someone who can’t afford traditional mentorship ❤️

[@briangallagher6320]

You must have fat stacks to live all over the place and have conversations with Baristas. In all seriousness I do love your videos and I feel like you have a great life. I am a bit jealous of it I feel like my stress levels are very high and your videos have helped me realign myself and stay away from my shadow self. I appreciate your kindness for this.

[@enfp]

Thanks Brian, sorry for the slow reply. Only medium stacks and some great life design and optimization :)

[@Ibbiehart6645]

Some dark INFJS messed with my head and now I have become a social recluse and very INFJ like, I feel so lost and struggling to find my "Tigger" like personality. Taking 5HTP and I will do this too. Yes the way back is always to behave as though you are the person you want to be.

[@daniellemarkets]

I often feel that I am the only one that cares/loves/does as much good and acts of love or service, and in turn, I get discouraged that no one cares enough for me as I do for those around me. Thoughts?

[@enfp]

It's probably not true... Or you have a really terrible peer group and need to change.

[@TT35109]

I second this opinion. Absolutely 100% feel this way too. Gets so tiring to care about others and for those same others to just turn around and treat you like you’re nothing.

[@ReeThealien]

I really need a similar video, but for INFPs.. I feel like I've lost my spark due to some things I've gone through. I'm trying to become myself again! After watching the video, I guess I relate to most of the things ^ ^ We have the same functions after all. Dichotomies wise, I and E are the only difference~

[@enfp]

You can definitely apply all the the parts of changing traits and behaviour regardless of your type.

[@conkers5875]

I think you just helped me save my life. Only just discovered MBTI, I'm 43 years young, manuals for humans do exist! Soooo many connections running through my memories, I can now see why things didn't always work out. (I edited this sentence about 5 times to make it sound more positive - THANK YOU) Be the person you want to be - breathe When I think of people who might be my least favourite MBTI type, and because it is the opposite of me (positive again, subconsciously - THANK YOU AND ME) I KNOW I AM GOING TO SQUASH IT Becoming a person I abhor is NOT an option SIMPLE 🤘😁 Quickly going to Google famous ISTJs 😂 investigation is a great quality, I will then check out your superpowers video to reinforce this one and then get shit done, being the person I want to be. Maybe my therapist should know about you. You are the medication we can't get in a pill. Awesome human, total superhero. (My ENFP-A amazing, sunny 18 year old son Alex is Spiderman and I go for the strength, love and truth of Wonder Woman, maaan I would have wanted a lasso of truth before I saw this video!! OMG it's building, I don't even feel like apologising for typing an essay, a little bit but I squashed the idea to apologise for showing positivity growing right now. This isn't procrastination. Thank you.

[@atastybolusinc.5645]

So I started trying to improve people’s days when I was around 8 and now I subconsciously hold the doors open for people and stuff. It’s not big but it changes your image 🙂

[@corncorn9367]

I got INTJ-T lately and I knew immediately that something is wrong with me. I don't talk often and avoid people. Tons of friends are asking how I'm feeling and I don't know what they're talking about. Maybe I should do this exercise. I would love to be back to myself so I can work efficiently. Thank you.

[@The.ControversialChristian]

Hey Dan! So, lately I have been dealing with some depression and isolating myself, and it sucks! I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere, I wake up and consider just not going into work bc I hate it. (It is the same thing day in and day out and I am an ENFP) I want to isolate myself and get away from everyone and just sulk in my depression, BUT I instead went to church and talked with my friends and the people there, and by the time I left I was out of the funk! I am going to do these steps you mentioned, and I will let you know how I am in a week or 2... if I remember... lol but, I’ve considered just walking out of work, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. I may have a business started by the time I get back to you. Thanks!

[@caramyabr6555]

Sometimes we do think like there s no option at all to come out of this stage.. but that's only temporary.. you might find a real way to be happy.. just start discovering ur personality.. that itself motivates many to come out of this stage..

[@Userh2426]

I’m so happy I found your channel

[@enfp]

Thank you!

[@enfp]

Let's connect on Instagram as well @thedanjohnston

[@Eponagirl0810]

Nice people aren’t all boring, are we? I’ve been told that I’m rather deep, funny, crazy, fascinating, the list goes on. From what I’ve learned, you are supposed to be me turned inside out.🙃

[@Michaeljhrobinson1]

Gold. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.

[@enfp]

You're very welcome Michael!

[@madridejosryuchan]

I think im a burntout enfp, what should i do to get back to who i was before that?

[@jean-marclamothe8859]

Rio Grace Madridejos just try little step by step to do things you like and laugh and for sure follow what he says in the video.

[@canibalkitten4213]

Sweaty and hot out here, yeah just how I like it. Lol sorry, thx for the motivation fellow ENFP let's get me back on track to who I'm supposed to be!!

[@katet6436]

This might explain why I retook the Myer-Briggs test recently and got ISFJ. That's almost the polar opposite of an ENFP. When I'm happy, when I'm growing in a positive way, I am most definitely an ENFP. I'm social and friendly and adventurous. When I'm under extreme stress, I become a pessimistic and critical hermit. This video explains why I'm feeling the way that I am right now.

[@enfp]

If that's where you're at right now, be sure to check out the original video on this topic too! kzbin.info/www/bejne/eoO8p3WkfNh6h7s

[@katet6436]

I will! Thank you!

[@Birchswinger83]

That’s definitely true. I always suggest to people taking the MBTI to answer questions of how you feel at your best- because circumstances can change the way we need to approach ideas and the world. In reality, our cognitive functions don’t change even if we are using functions that aren’t our preference. I am forced to be a better planner and more scheduled with 3 kids and two with special needs. I felt very defeated and frustrated, and downright exhausted for years. Recently I’ve created a schedule that is intentional- I allow myself several hours a day of spontaneity and doing “what I want”....and I have a plan and am very scheduled when the kids get home from school. Naming this helps me to feel confident in being structured for my kids and I know I will be refreshed by my time that I’ve carved out for my preferences. I prep myself, “I can be structured for two hours before dinner- tHis should be easy.” Dan has a great video on designing your life around your preferences that helped me feel confident in approaching my life this way. I hope this helps!!

[@lukasbortkevicius2126]

Dan the Man! Thank you soo much for putting up these videos.

[@enfp]

You're welcome!

[@MrNooblet123]

Love the videos keep them up bro!

[@moonlightrockgirl181]

To me this concept of „Good Person“ „Bad Person“ kind of always seemed inauthentic and it actually made me feel abandoned emotionally, as it acts as a facade. What did help me was to realize that all the labels we put on ourselves are literal nominalisations. For example: „I have done something I deem as good, therefore I call myself a good person.“ This is conflicted when I do something different that what I judge to be good to a point that it can lead to an identity crisis and can be used in all sorts of context. Personally I doubt whether this is so healthy, at least for me and maybe focusing on the single actions more than on such an unstable label helps someone else as well. I just wanted to put that out there, in case someone else struggles with the authenticity part of that advice, which in its essence is amazing: acting along those values and ideals that you are longing for as this fulfills you from within.

[@enfp]

Thanks for sharing, I hope others find it helpful as well :)

[@star.light-306]

this "act as if" causes me some inner conflict with my need for authenticity lol, has anyone else struggled with this?

[@LoniLovesLife]

This is where I am right now in my life.

[@jean-marclamothe8859]

Thanks it's time for me to try those tricks because it's been a couple of weeks in the dark after a series of lost and defeats that's put me on my back and I'm already down and depressed and I want to get on my feet now not in a month!

[@enfp]

Do it!

[@newliker]

thnx

[@enfp]

You're welcome! :)

[@mrferno9798]

I got rid of my dark side cause it nearly killed me but now i need it back to protect and look after me make me feel like a alpha to myself how do i get it back

[@margaretwilding8708]

I want to be more efficient , I am going to work on watching time as I work.

[@Ariesducay]

I am a nice person , I can't act for crap..if I had to be an actor I'd be in hell seriously , my self image reflects who I am honestly and I can't be anything else other than myself. My problem is Im stuck , all the people around me are parasitic, my long term partner treats me like utter crap uses me like I'm just some narcissistic supply, I can't let go of him because he's literally all I have. Most of my time and energy I feel is wasted on these problems that I just have no solution to because I can't change other people, I can't make people love me or treat me better and I certainly have no means to get away so I'm stuck , I'm lost , I got caught up in this whirlwind of everybody else's chaos and like a labyrinth I can't find my way out.. how do I find toby (labyrinth movie with David Bowie reference) ...

[@younesabutaleb]

BTW, Where do you live? where was the video taken?

[@enfp]

I'm Canadian. I've lived in seven countries but live in Prague now. The video is on my balcony in Mexico where I was for April.

[@younesabutaleb]

That is Awesome! I came across your channel last week and am inspired and grateful... Bless your soul fellow ENFP!